03x05 - Thumb Drive

[bunniefuu]

THUMB DRIVE

Bon appetit.

Bon appetit.

Bon appe...what?

Huh, could've sworn
we had chameleons.

Ah, who can keep track?

How does that woman
keep her job?

We've got to do something.

The chameleons will starve.

All we gotta do
is raid the food shed

and grab some lizard chow.

That's easy peasy.

Huh...
Well, that's new.

A thumbprint I.D. pad.

Evidently Alice has noticed
our previous pantry raids.

No regrets.

Good news...This is
yet another chance

to use my new smartphone.

Ooh, nice weather
in Miami this week.

- Kowalski.
- Uh, right.

I can hack
into the network,

and get the pad to take
any old thumbprint.

- But...
- We'll still need...

any old thumb.

- That might be a problem.
- Not to worry.

I know a certain pair
of thumbed primates

who just love to help.

Sorry, chaps.
Tickets to figaro.

Uh, okay, well, uh...

I know another pair
of thumbed primates.

Ooh.
Okay...

Thumbs down on those.

Looks like we're at the digits
of last resort.

No, no.
You cannot have Maurice...

or his thumbs. Now shoo.
Shoo, you stinky flightless birds.

Yeah, sorry, guys,
but the King needs me around.

Uh, uh, uh, wait.
What is this you're saying?

Uh, you...
you need me.

You... you're helpless
without me.

I need you?

I am King, and thusly,
I am needing of nothing.

It is you, Maurice,
who are needing of me.

Uh-huh. So you
don't mind if I go.

I am insisting on it.
Right on top of it.

All over that.
I am covering it with insisting.

Perfect.
Move out.

Humph, I will show Maurice
just how self-sufficient I can be.

Mort, make my hand
do the bye-bye wave.

See, Maurice?

I asked Mort to do this
all by myself.

Network hacked.
I am so "leet."

Now, Maurice, your thumb,
if you please.

Thumbprint confirmed.

Beautiful job, lemur.
You are dismissed.

That's it?
Well... well, come on.

Don't send me back
to King Julien just yet.

I'm just getting started.
Got the chameleon food...

Alice!

We need a distraction ASAP.
On it.

- What are you doing?
- Sending a text.

You can read and write?

Nah, I just like
pushing the buttons.

What's that mean?

Guys, this was a kick and a half.

I can't remember
the last time I felt so alive.

Maurice, you're a good egg.

You kept a cool head under fire.

- And you've also got thumbs.
- Skipper, he's got thumbs!

Yeah, I believe we've
adequately covered that, Kowalski.

But don't you see? With
his thumbs, we can finally

get into the secret
government weapons lab.

Is...is...is that a government
lab that is secret

or the lab
of a secret government?

Well, it's a bit of both actually.

But it's chock-full of delicious
devices of destruction.

We're going on a shopping spree!

Yes, but let's wait
till Thursday night.

That's when they restock the shelves.
Maurice, you in?

Ooh, that'd be a gas.

- Aah!
- Too bad I gotta go.

I was gone for, like, 15 minutes.
What did you do?

Oh, you know, just...
made some smoothies.

This is just sad.

Oh, no, I-I, uh,
I redecorated.

- You like it?
- You were not redecorating.

Mort's got a blender
on his head.

Aah!

No, no, Mort's
playing spaceonaut.

What an imagination
on that guy, right?

Ground control to major Mort.

You are a go
for extra imagination time.

So you're saying you did
all this intentionally?

You're saying you like it this way.

- Yepper.
- So...

I don't have to clean
it up then, right?

Ri... uh, oh, well,
now I...

No, no, I think that's exactly
what you're saying.

You got this, right?

- Well, yes, I...
- Right.

So it's totally cool if I go hang
with the penguins then, right?

I have to say yes,
or I look like a stooge, right?

If you need me, just whistle.

Ooh, not that
you'll need me, right?

Pfft.

Played him
like a second fiddle.

Guess who's got two thumbs
and is looking for action?

All: Maurice!

You know, all these missions,

I'm starting to feel like
I'm almost one of you guys.

- Roger that, Maurice.
- Lunch!

Fish!

Uh, almost one of you guys.

Fish, uh-uh.
Gotta draw a line somewhere.

Your majesty, you all right?

Ah, Maurice, what's up, buddy?

I was just, uh,
whipping up some lunch.

Fruit salad.
Want some?

- Um...
- I do, I do, I do.

Mm, so fruity!

And...
oh, and salady!

You know what?
The guys had some fish.

I think I'll get some fish.
With the guys.

They got some fish.

Mm, oh, you can really, um,
taste the mesquite.

It is kind of a little horrible, isn't it?

Yes, it is a little bit very horrible.

Ooh-di-lally, that was
some good grouper.

Skipper, I have to resign.

What? Rico, roll me.

Now what's all this
about quitting?

I told you there's only
two ways out of this unit.

The way Manfredi took.

And the way Johnson took.

Yup, like that.

But King Julien needs me.
He's all sorts of messed up.

Rico, sit me up.

Maurice, I respect your loyalty.

But still, I have to ask you
to stay on for one last mission.

Tomorrow night's
weapons lab raid?

We need your magically
magnificent thumbs.

Now come on, that clown with a
crown can muddle on without you.

Well, Skipper,
all I can say to that is...

Big thumbs up!

This mission is just the opportunity

- ...we are needing.
- Um, okay, but...

why don't we just ask Maurice
to come home?

Yeah, right,
and admit I was wrong?

Oh, you're so right.

Forget I ever said words.

Thumbprint confirmed.

Take it in, boys.

Pulse r*fles, plasma cannons.
Disintegration rays.

It's my birthday, oh, yeah!

Maurice, I salute you.
You and your glorious grasp.

My pleasure.
Anything else I should do?

Nah, you just sit back
and twiddle those thumbs.

You've earned it.
Dibs on the bazooka!

Twiddle my thumbs.
Heh, he's so funny.

Ah, now I will show Maurice
just how dangerous

these dangerous
penguin missions can be.

Oh?
How?

The same way
I do everything, Mort.

With the booty.

Thumbprint not recognized.

What the deviled ham?

Oh, hey, Maurice.

Uh, I was just out,
doing a little cardio,

when I hear all the...

Wow, that sounds
dangerous, right?

You better come home now.

Security protocols engaged.

Eh, who-what-now
got engaged?

Eliminating intruders.

Um, is spooky 'puter voice
talking about...

Evasive!

Aah! Who put such dangerous
weapons in the weapons lab?

No, not the pulse r*fles!

- Aah, the plasma cannons!
- Aah!

Ringtail, you've disintegrated
the disintegration rays!

Kowalski, shut down
this chamber of chaos.

Would if I could, Skipper,

but I seem to have dropped
my smartphone.

Yes, you can be my friend,
and you can be my friend.

Ooh, and you can be
my friend too.

Ideas, anybody.
Outside the box?

Inside the box?
On top of the box?

Without a box!

That tank doesn't seem
to be doing anything.

Aah!

It's a remote control
robo-tank, Skipper.

Get on it, Kowalski.
Hop to.

Love to, but, uh, you need
thumbs to operate the controller.

And I was this close
to retirement.

Let me get this straight:
You sabotaged this mission,

and endangered all our lives
just so I would come home?

Ha, see, Maurice,
without you there to tell me,

how was I to know
it was a bad idea...

All right.
Let's roll.

Ka-pow, in your face!

Maurice, you saved me.

Come home.
I stink at self-sufficiencies.

Yeah, all right, your highness.
Let's go home.

- Carry me?
- No.

Okay, that's cool too.

We lost a good operative

and fried every last
weapon in this joint.

Someone please find
a silver lining to this fiasco.

Not every last weapon, Skipper.
We did save one.

No, no, no,
Rico, left.

My left.

The other left!

Never mind.
It was an utter fiasco.