01x43 - Zoo Tube

[bunniefuu]

Flag's ready, check.

Gates unlocked, check.

Lemurs doing...
whatever that is, check.

Three, two, one.

Showtime.

Hmm.

Zoo, by all accounts, is open.

Where are the happy tourists?

Kowalski, analysis.

Kowalski?

Men, we have a developing
situation topside.

[Laughing]

Men?

Rico's found a new channel.

It's positively brilliant.

It's called the Dumb Animal Channel.

This is no time for TV.

We have a situ-- Whoa,
those animals are dumb.

PRESENTER: You're watching
DAC, Dumb Animal Channel.



[Laughing dispassionately]

Oh.

Ah.

Hey, guys!

Guys, you've got to come quick!

There's a rumour going around that
the zoo is closing permanently.

Doesn't that otter on TV
look just like Marlene?

[Mumbling]

Uh-huh.

Nah.

Marlene has a giant misshapen--
Marlene, how did you get in here?

Listen, listen.

The zoo is going to be closed forever.

Zoo... closed... forever.

Right.

We're on it.

Anything yet?

We are negative for intel in
this rumoured zoo shutdown.

[Door closing]

[Footsteps approaching]

Not one visitor.

Why would people schlep to the
zoo when they can see the dumb

animals on TV?

Yep, we're shipping them
out all over the world.

San Diego, Beijing and Hoboken.

[Groaning]

Unfortunately, no.

The committee voted.

Yes, exactly.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I'm not sure.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

Oh, that I didn't know.

Here's what we know.

Without ticket-buying human
visitors, this zoo is kaput.

According to this top secret dossier,
they're shipping us out tomorrow.

[Nervous chattering]

Calm down.

We've got a plan to get the
humans back to the zoo.

Kowalski.

Operation catch and release.

We set traps for the
humans all over the city.

Once the traps are filled with
people, we bring them back and

release them here inside the zoo.

Presto, we have visitors.

Good old brute force.

Um, Kowalski?

That's plan B.

Plan A is-- Right,
operation dumb town.

We show the humans that zoo
animals are just as dumb as or

maybe even dumber than
the animals on TV.

Yes, we certainly have
dumber animals here.

Like that one over there.

Idiot-o.

Yes, I'm talking about you.

He didn't get it.

He didn't even get that.

How do you get people to come back?

Oh.

We haven't gotten that far yet.

Phil and I recently liberated
this from lost and found.

Video.

I like where your
headed is at, simian.

Simple blackmail job.

Actually, I was thinking
we could make a television

commercial to show off the zoo.

Yeah, okay, then what?

What, are we going to find a
giant ladder to space and then

use a satellite to broadcast the
commercial over every TV in New York?

Marlene, that's brilliant!

You may have a future in science.

Oh, don't be si-- Do you think?

Sure, with that type of
out-of-the-box thinking.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Skipper, would you please?

Thanks.

Now let's get this plan in motion.

Well, it turns out they don't
make giant space ladders.

Skipper?

So instead we'll build this, a satellite
override remote control unit.

It will require a telescope,
cell phone, wires, a satellite

dish, egg timer, flashlight,
plunger and a treadmill.

And we still need the telescope, cell
phone, satellite dish and treadmill.

[Retching]

Nope.

Here, let me try.

[Flatulence]

[Giggling]

Oh, Mort, oh.

That burns my nose.

Timeframe is tight.

The boys and I will secure the
missing parts while the rest of

you film the commercial.

For the most effective
commercial, we'll showcase each

animal, an exciting exposé proving
the zoo is worth visiting--

Hey, hey, hey.

Who put you in charge?

Not me, and I'm King, okay?

I say.

Ha ha!

You found me!

I will be the director guy.

Julien, I really think we
should work together on-- King.

Director.

Yes, but I-- Cut!

That's director for "shut up."

Yeah, I saw that on DAC last night.

Did you catch the one where that old
lady is smacking around that lion?

It's hilarious.

Cellphone secured.

[Crashing]

My car!

Ready, set and...
Kangaroo.

Okay, start hopping.

Hop a little higher.

You've got no up, Spotty.

No, no, like this, like this.

What are you on about?

Cut, cut, cut!

You are a kangaroo, so be a kangaroo.

Do the bouncing and hopping and all
the other ridiculous things you do.

Careful, mate.

That tone will get you a wallop.

Stop, stop.

Move out of the way.

Just film me, Maurice.

Yes.

There we go.

G'day matey, I'm a kangaroo.

I'm hopping around like I do.

Charlie don't like cheap imitations.

Can we get another take?

I wasn't rolling.

Hey, what's that unexpectedly cute
penguin doing in Central Park?

Telescope secured.

Okay, Mort.

Show him how it's done.

Oh.

Um.

This looks a little dangerous.

Hurray for danger!

We're burning daylight, elephant.

Let's go.

You're up here too?

[Sighing]

Stop the camera.

We go again.

And please do not be so
heavy the next time.

Sorry.

Yow!

Steady.

Steady.

Go, go, go!

Whoa!

That certainly was a close call.

Dish secured.

And a one, and a two-lian, and
a-- [Rumba music playing]

Don't be afraid to use your hips.

More like this.

♪ Unga-unga-unga ♪

♪ Baby likes to rumba ♪

Okay, from the top.

Cut!

That's a wrap, ringtail.

They start hauling us
away in T -1 hour.

We need this commercial to air pronto.

This is no commercial, sir.

It is art.

I'll just plug the camera
into the treadmill and--

Where did you guys get a treadmill?

[Groaning]

That's, uh, classified.

Okay, the treadmill powers
the satellite while the

cellphone creates a disruptive
signal that is sent through--

Through the telescope,
right, and voilà.

The commercial is on
every TV in New York.

Marlene, you certainly got this
science thing down quickly.

A little too quickly, hmm?

Let's keep an eye on Marlene.

Uh, hello, I'm right here.

Very clever, Marlene.

Better make that both eyes.

Roy, if you would do
the power up honours.

No problem.

Status report.

Working like a charm.

The commercial will broadcast on a loop
over every TV in a 45 mile radius.

What?

Only 45 miles?

Faster..

Run faster!

Share my masterpiece
with the whole world!

No, ringtail.

You're going to overload
the-- It's so cold.

Whah!

[Gasping]

What?

Huh?

[Birds singing]

What?

It wasn't me.

It was Mort.

Uh, where's Mort?

I mean, Maurice's fault.

See?

So obvious.

[Growling]

No commercial, no people, no zoo.

Yeah, way to go, Maurice.

Looks like you've really
done it this time.

Gentlemen, say your goodbyes.

Just can't risk our secrets
falling into the wrong hands.

It's so hard to say--

You've shown us many
wonders, trusty periscope.

[Gasping]

What's that?

Uh-oh.

Alice alert!

We're not going down without a fight.

Rico!

Wait, she's not coming for us.

She's-- She's walking to the gate.

Look.

Flags are raised.

We're not closing.

We're opening?

Kowalski, analysis.

It appears we have
visitors once again.

I see that, but how?

Destroyed TVs all over New York.

Commercial never played.

Maybe destroying the satellite disrupted
a secret government mind control

program, freeing the
public to visit the zoo.

Or maybe without TV and the
Dumb Animal Channel, the humans

don't have animal
entertainment at home.

They need us again!

Let's not think it to death, Private.

Let's just make it
extra adorable today.

Ah!