01x32 - Mask of the Raccoon

[bunniefuu]

Maurice, I am ready to shake
my maker of money.

Hit it.

There's nothing to hit.

My boomie box. Where is it?

Mmm, shrub. Good ates.

My ates.

Hey, yo, bing, isn't there usually
a tire swing on there or somethin'?

Please, one at a time.

Someone swiped my bail of hay.

And somebody nicked our entire collection
of Italian opera CDs.

And someone took my
one of a kind beach ball.

Yeah, it was a... it was white,
and blue, and, em, and red.

And has a little valve thing on it.

Mine was special. One of a kind.

So, mister penguins.

When are you going to be dispensing
the red hot justice?

There's something odor about the otter.

I'm right here, okay.

Let's not rush to judgements.

My team will conduct a careful,
thorough investigation

Then, when all the facts are in...

Someone stole our TV.

Then we gonna nail
this thief to the wall.

Your sick wave of crime ends here.

Yes, it would appears that way.

But when it comes to The Archer,

appearances can be deceivy.

He... he's amazing.

Stow that gush, Private.

A thousand pardons, messieurs.

End of the line, nocturnal mammal.

Remind me to add that move to our roster.

We can do this the easy way,
or we can do this

Oh, have the decency, let me finish.

Whoa, you are a worthy adversary, monsieur.

But now I must bid you adieu.

You can keep your dew.

You are not going anywhere.

Admit it, raccoon, you're the thief
who's been taking our stuff.

Oh oui.
This I admit.

That was easy.

But don't you want to know why I did it?

Eh, sure, why not.

I guess.

You, zoo animals, have everything you need.

But beyond this walls life is much harder.

There are no climate control habitats,

no feeding times,

no bouncy ba*ls from the beach.

Oh dear.

I, The Archer, I've taken it upon myself

to right this wrong.

By stealing our material goods?

I give to those who have nothing.

Possum families with nowhere to live.

Old pigeons who can no longer fly.

Orphan baby chipmunks with no one to feed them.

Orphan... baby... chipmunks.

So you help others?

Yes. Maybe it is a crime,
but I ask you,

which is the greater injustice?

Skipper, The Archer's not a dastardly villain.

He's a rakish swashbuckling hero.

And we've got to help him.

Agree. Commence operation "Helping hand".

What? Old peanuts for
the less fortunate? Sure.

Oh, yes, yes, please take some bananas
for those poor unfortunate souls.

And mangos too.

It must be something more we can do.

Fleas! Capital idea, Phil.

They have less than me?

And I am barely scraping by.

Maurice, give to this penguin

all of Mort's food.

And Mort too.

I'm ever so lightly used.

The Archer, please accept these gifts
on behalf for the animals of the zoo.

Skipper, you have done me... eh...

How do you say, a solid?

I do not know how to thank you.

Next time a hardy handshake will be just dandy.

Farewell, my friends.

Farewell.

Wow.

Just, you know, wow.

I mean, The Archer
is a genuine role model.

Somebody young person
like me can look up to.

A real hero.

Now, Private, it's not like you
don't have other heroes in your life.

True.

But Kowalski doesn't have
the Archer's panache.

It does hurt. Intriguing.

Still, The Archer, he does
so much for those who need it.

Private, what are you?..

Your butterscotch lolly.

I'm gonna get this lolly to...
The Archer.

You're mad.

Give it to...

Easy, Private.

Let's not do anything we'll regret, here.

You've been saving that lolly for a special occasion.

Yes, how I've dreamt of its
rich butterscotchyness.

But The Archer risks his life
for those less fortunate.

This is the least I can do.

You've got a good heart, Private.

Let's go find your hero.

Great.

Do you smell bacon?

Rico!

Excuse me.

We're looking for The Archer,
the hero of Central Park.

He steals from the zoo and gives to the zooless.

And then fires an arrow in the air

and swings away to his next adventure.

We've got a zoo?

Well, yes.

That's what we are from.

Or did you believe penguins are indigenous to the New York area.

I don't know. Are they?

- No.
- And how did you get here?

We're from the zoo.

Yeah, I just heard we've got one of those.

I wonder if they got gibbons there.
I always wanted to meet...

We're looking for a raccoon.

The zoo's got raccoons?

No.

That's a shame.

We're wasting our time here.

Of course, if you wanted to see a raccoon,

you could always go see Archie.

Archie?

Yeah, Archie. That guy
is a lousy backstabbing cheat.

He's my best friend.

What do you think you are doing, huh?

You're stinking no good...

Someone is in with The Archer.

And he doesn't sound friendly.

Come on, is that your best shot?

Oh, you're so going down.

Get ready, men.
We're going in.

Oh, you are pathetic.

I could beat you with my eyes.

Closed.

Hey, Archie, did you
know we have a zoo?

Eh, Skipper, mon ami.

I... I...
- Don't "mon ami" me!

You took advantage of our good nature.

And the generosity of all the zoo animals.

Hey, whoa, guys, come on.

A fella's got to make a living, right?

Right?

Even your charming french accent...

was a lie.

How could you?

Oh, yeah, about that...
What you see... I...

Look out!
Leopard seal.

Hit the deck.

Blast! He duped us.

And we fell for it like a bunch
of first year hatchlings.

Popcorn.

He's getting away.

Oh, no, he isn't.

Okay, all right, okay.

Look, before you beat me
silly, let me actu...

Ah, leopard seal.

No dice, Archie.

You are not fooling us again.

You're a dirty dirty liar.

And, and your pants are on fire.

And, and you jump up and touch a telephone wire.

That's what a dirty liar you are.

Stand down, Private, we'll handle this.

Thanks, some of those things
he said were really hurtful.

Mister, you're just entering
the world of hurts.

Kowalski, hurt options.

The Balkan towel snap?

Possibly, go on.

The Spanish wet willy?

Intriguing.

The Croatian purple nurple?

Bingo! Gentlemen, we have a winner.

Rico, do the honors.

No, no-no, stay back, stay back.

Rest easy, Private.

That raccoon will never pose as

a swashbuckling french hero ever again.

That's good, Skipper.

But still...

It was nice to think there was
a real hero out there.

It's a shame to let that go.

No, Private, maybe we don't have to.

h*-h*, my friends.

There is no need to scrounge for scraps.

Wow, thanks.

Think nothing of it.

It's all in the day's work for...

The Archer.

Of course, there is a small finder's fee.

Heroes don't charge for delivery.

Nice aim, Private.

Thanks, Skipper.
Now move you.

We're going to feed bread crumbs to the ducks next.

All right, all right, I'm moving.