02x29 - Command Crisis

[bunniefuu]

[Alarm ringing]

Skipper, we're picking up an
outgoing airborne target!

It's on a north-by-southwest heading.

Air speed, 2 1/2 knots.

Altitude is 4 metres
and climbing fast.



Private!

You know how I feel about
the metric system.

We go with feet and inches!

Identifying target now.

It looks like we have another
runaway red on our hands, Skipper.

Why is always the red ones?

My balloon!

[Crying]

On my mark!

Now!

[Crying]

Huh?

Yeah!

Ha!

Gentlemen, today's
operation was a success.

[Cheering]

However, I have to ask, are
we ready for the big one?

The big one?

El grande enchilada!

Yum!

Not the eating kind of enchilada!

The in-your-face, knock you on
your posterior kind of enchilada.

So, it's not actually food?

Kowalski, we don't know
what it actually is.

Then, how can we know
if we're ready for it?

Well, that's what today's all about.

The big one's today?

Affirmative!

The big one is coming today.

Around 4-ish.

Fortunately, I have spent months
preparing for the big one.

And when my plan was complete,
I knew what I had to do.

The plan was secured in a
lockbox, and under the cover of

darkness, I chose a top-secret
location, at which I buried the

top-secret plan.

A remote area of the zoo, where
no human or animal ever goes.

Until, of course, they complete
construction of the new

children's zoo.

What?

That's where the children's
zoo is going to be.

Ground-breaking is today.

Blast!

We only have 4 hours
until the big one.

We need those plans!

Perhaps a diversion?

Oh, it's Live at 5's Chuck
Charles, from the telly!

We're here live at the
Central Park Zoo for the

ground-breaking of the
new children's zoo.

There's our diversion.

I'm going in!

You think Skipper needs back-up?

Our Skipper?

[Blowing raspberry]

[Crashing]

Skipper?

Awaiting orders.

Oh, boy.

We must get him out of there!

What should we do?

Commence Operation: Get Skipper
Out of the Locked Van.

The name needs work, but let's do it!

Hey!

Ugh!

What was that?

You were supposed to catch me!

No, we were supposed to pick the lock.

Pow, pow, pow!

[Satellite beeping]

Ugh!

Skipper!

Okay, who hid my hairspray?

Hey, what happened in here?

Ugh, ah.

Are you all right, Skipper?

Hey, get out of my shot.

This is Chuck Charles, with
your late-breaking, local news!

Is...
is he talking to the wall?

Something horrible happened
inside that news van!

I wonder.

Theoretically, it's possible
that the electrical receptors

inside Skipper's brain picked up
the signals from that van, and

reprogrammed his functional
senses to mimic the patterns of

behaviour shown on the broadcast.

You mean?

Yes, I think we can safely
say that Skipper is stricken

with anchor-mnesia!

I'm Chuck Charles, and we're
your Live at 5 news team!

Gail Force with weather, Scooter
Alvarez on sports, and as

always, my co-anchor Bonnie Chang.

Bonnie Chang?

But the big one is coming!

We still need those plans!

And even if we get the plans,
we still need Skipper to be

Skipper.

All right, I will randomly
combine liquids and powders

until I find a cure!

This could take a while.

[Bell ringing]

I'm with the Live at 5 news
team, here on the scene!

You are a penguin!

How's that weekend forecast, Gail?

I'm Private!

Look, I waddle, and you
waddle too, because you're...

Chuck Charles, and I know the news!

Look!

Penguins swim.

Well, Gail, looks like
another wet... [Gargling]

And that's the news!

Ugh!

Status report?

Still Chuck Charles!

And the anchor-mnesia cure
is a bit behind schedule.

[Bell ringing]

We only have 1 hour!

Yeah, I need at least 7,000.

Years.

[Babbling]

Don't worry, Rico.

Skipper's... gone?

Here's your Live at 5 exclusive
interview with... King Julian!

Yes, but you can call me King Julian.

Do you have any comment
about the rumours?

Uh, what rumours?

Oh, don't play coy!

We all know what they're saying
about your royal family!

Lies, all lies!

This interview is over!

And we're out!

Fantastic interview.

Well, thank you!

Care for some fruit?

It is tasty and nice,
except maybe the grapes.

I'm not 100% on those.

Could your grapes be poisoning you?

Find out at 5!

And we're out!

Oh, news I can use!

Let's now be running off!

Chuck Charles has a... The
technical term for our

situation is done-ski!

Bonnie, are you doing something
different with your hair?

I like it!

Skipper would want us
to go get those plans!

But how can we do that when Skipper...

Now over to Scooter Alvarez,
with the highlights and the

lowlights.

I am not Scooter Alvarez!

I don't even know what
a Scooter Alvarez is!

Okay, we're just going to
have to do it without him.

But... I know, but what
choice do we have?

Skipper would want us to
carry on without him.

Keep an eye on Scooter.

He's not quite himself today.

Uh, no, I'm here with those
scores, or my name's not Scooter

Alvarado!

Alvarez.

Exactly.

Okay, uh, we're going to
go out for a while, Chuck.

Um, so you just stay
here in the studio.

According to the map, we
should be digging over there.

With all this construction?

There are too many witnesses!

Must think.

What would Skipper do?

Precariously perch himself
high atop the crane?

I don't see how that would help.

Oh, it won't, but that
is what Skipper's doing.

This is your Live at 5 eye in the sky!

Ugh, he is not making this easy!

Easy?

Was it easy for Manfredi and
Johnson when that undersea

escape tunnel turned out to be
the business end of a beluga

whale?

They couldn't even speak for a month!

And even then, it was gibberish.

So, if this is going to be
hard, that's fine with me!

Yeah!

Let's do this thing!

And all other things required of us.

Hiya!

Can you describe to the folks at
home how you're feeling right

now?

Bluh, ugh!

You heard it here first!

This is Chuck Charles reporting!

Huh?

Do I connect the red one to the
blue one, or the blue one to the

red one?

I don't know!

That's the sort of thing
Skipper would normally decide.

Now, be honest with me.

Do you like my good side,
or my even better side?

But there isn't anything
normal about this!

Perhaps if I bypass... Ahh!

Ah, stop!

I see the plans!

Come on, we have to hurry!

[Grunting]

Got it!

Yes!

Yes!

What did we do?

How should I know who
moved the 'dozer?

Our top story!

Chuck Charles and the news
team get buried alive!

Well, at least we saved
the top-secret plans.

Although it might have been
preferable to not be buried

alive with them!

[Babbling]

Yes, Rico, it is just about 4-ish.

Then, we better check out
Skipper's top-secret plan!

[Coughing]

What?

SKIPPER: Is the team
ready for the big one?

We shall see.

Afraid not!

But what is it?

Some sort of natural disaster?

You might think it might be

some sort of natural disaster,
but you'd be wrong!

No, the big one is the
greatest challenge of all.

What happens if one member
of the team is out?

What if we didn't have
young Private's heart?

Kowalski's brains?

Rico's appetite for
reckless destruction?

I don't know!

Uh, I suppose that
would be bad.

Or what if the team leader

were inexplicably acting
like a pompous anchorman?

What if, indeed?

Yes, what if... oh!

Hang on!

You were faking it!

Bingo!

It was all a test?

And the team came through!

Huzzah!

We're ready for the big one!

Yes, we are.

We are also running
out of oxygen.

[Gasping]

Kowalski, give me options.

Rico sets an expl*sive charge

under this, blasting it straight

up through the dirt and rock.

And we all hang onto it!

Ooh, sounds like a wild ride!

Rico?

[Coughing]

[expl*si*n]

I don't get how a bulldozer

just turns on by itself!

Woo-hoo!

We did it!

We kicked the big one's butt!

And we're out!