01x21 - Mort Unbound

[bunniefuu]

ANNOUNCER: And now, DreamWorks.

"The Penguins of Madagascar."

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hit it.

-Cute and cuddly boys.

-Whee.

I'm jumpy.

Maurice, come be jumpy.

-Love to Mort, but I've got
a bajillion royal duties.

-Haha!

You said "dooties."

-No.

Things I got to do for the King.

Duty.

-It's still funny.

Now be jumpy.

-All right.

Maybe just one bounce.

-Whee!

-I knew that was a bad idea.

-Whee!

-Oh no.

He's not going to-- No way.

The throne!

-Oopsie.

-Whew.

-Uh.

I'll get the glue.

-To eat?

-No!

All right.

Give the glue a few hours
to set and we're golden.

Just make sure King Julien
stays away from his throne.

OK?

-OK.

-Honies, I'm home!

Who missed me?

-I did!

-Eh.

Someone else this time?

-Hey, hey.

How was your royal
walkabout, Your Highness?

-Maurice, this zoo is full of
so many fantastical things.

Did you know, for example,
free gum under all the benches?

Watch.

Going to blow a bubble.

-Mmm.

-You can keep that.

Now, what to do with
the rest of my day?

-You could sit on your throne.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I take that back.

-Or you could go swimming
or bouncing or dancing.

Work it, work it, work
it like you mean it.

-I do main it but right now,
mostly because Mort stuck

the idea into my brain, I'd
like to sit on my throne.

-No, Your Majesty, don't!

-Don't what, Maurice?

-Don't let me keep you from
sitting on your throne which

is rock solid and not
breaking or anything.

-Why is my booty unable to
find my throne's sweet spot?

-Ah!

-My throne!

It's all brokeny and
cracked and brokeny.

Who broke the right throne?

-Uh.

It was an old throne.

Creaky.

Maybe it just broke on its own.

Who can say?

-I can.

We did it.

Oops.

-So it was you two.

-Yes, but it was an accident.

-An accident you did on purpose.

This I cannot be believing.

I ask so very little from you.

But here, you two willy
nillies go and ruin

the most precious
symbol of my power.

-Isn't that your crown?

-A king can have
many power symbols.

I see now what must be done.

OK.

This half of the kingdom is
for me and my king things

and that half is for you.

MAURICE: This is a
lot less than half.

-I like it.

-Well, of course it
is smaller, Maurice.

There is only one of
me and two of you.

-That means we should have
more and you should have less.

-The king never has less.

That's the law.

-So I take it we're not
allowed in your half?

-Got that right, mister.

-And you won't
come into our half?

-Why would I want to?

It's so tiny.

-You know what?

Sounds jim-dandy.

Mort and I are going to
have a good time here.

-But I--

-Yeah.

We're going to hang here,
kick back, maybe have a party.

Do you want to
have a party, Mort?

-Can we invite King Julien?

-No!

-Oh.

OK.

Um.

Frankly, you two are
giving my star the cramps.

I can have fun all by myself.

Oh.

You're it.

No, you're it.

You're it.

No touch backs.

No, I'm not because I'm on base.

There is no base.

There is for the king.

The king is never it.

Oh.

OK, I can't argue
with that logic.

Well, this stinks.

Hello friendly penguins!

Eh, I was wondering
if you could make

this melon split open for me.

-Rico, slice.

-Ah!

-There you go, Ring-Tail.

Service with a physco smile.

-Haha.

-Yes.

OK.

Thank you.

Oh.

Uh.

One more thing.

Could you also let
me boss you around?

You know, just a little.

-No.

Next question.

-Please?

I have nobody to browbeat.

Mort and Maurice have left me.

-They left you?

-Yes, right after I kicked them
out and now I am so lonely.

-You know, my Uncle Nigel always
said, on the voyage of life,

the best boat is a friendship.

-Oh.

Are we going boating?

Who needs Maurice and
Mort when my new bestest

friends have a yacht?

-I think what
Private's saying is

that Maurice and Mort
are your bestest friends.

Not us.

-Pfft.

Maurice and Mort
do not have a boat.

Who needs them?

-You need them.

-Who?

-Maurice and Mort.

-No.

They are a little too
boatless for my tastes.

-Forget about the boat.

You need to patch things
up with your pals.

-Ha!

Nothing could
possibly ever make we

want to be anywhere near them.

[MUSIC PLAYS]

Oh, oh.

Oh.

My booty senses nearby
moving and grooving.

-Yeah, you're on the list.

-In you go, my friend.

-Awesome.

Make way for the
boarding pachyderm.

Um, where's the peanuts?

-Down the hall on the left.

-Thank you.

-How'd they get a whole
elephant in that shed?

-It's roomier than it looks.

-A party!

Make way for the
Party King, man.

-Hold on there, Chief,
we've got to see

if your name's on
the guest list.

-Party King?

Nah.

Not on the list.

-Hold on, I got a King Julien.

-Yeah.

That's me.

-Yeah.

You're on the absolutely
not a guest list.

-What?

This must be some
kind of mistake.

-Oh, it's no mistake.

We'd love you to come,
wouldn't we Mort?

-Love!

-But you said that we're
supposed to stay on our half

and you on yours.

My hands are tied.

You understand.

-Whoa!

-Don't give me those sad eyes.

He started it.

-They do not want
me at their party.

This is an outrageousness.

I shall throw my own party and
my many friends will be coming.

Right, my many friends?

-Uh.

All right.

-OK, everybody.

Let's start the party games.

I'll make balloon animals.

This one's an earthworm.

Tapeworm.

Oh, look, a hookworm.

Eh.

Make that a flatworm.

-Wow.

Look at the time.

Early wake up tomorrow.

We've got to, you know, do
something penguin style.

-You do not have to lie.

No one loves me.

-Now, that's not--

-As much as I love me.

-OK, yeah, that's true.

-Look at me.

I cannot even throw
a proper shindig.

-Yeah.

OK.

Well, thanks for having us.

It's was a real treat.

[SIGHS DRAMATICALLY]

-Bye now.

[CRIES]

-Oh, Ring-Tail, you're
playing my heartstrings

like a big bow fiddle.

Maybe you can't throw
a party or maybe

you just need a little help.

Men, commence
Operation Hootenanny.

KOWALSKI: Turntables
are up to maximum speed.

This party is a go-oo-oo.

-The only thing left
is the guest list.

-Leave that to me.

I am connected.

-Well, everyone's still
at Mort and Maurice's.

-I have many friends.

They will not be
letting me down.

Everybody party!

Haha!

Who will start
the con-gaga line?

Me?

Okie-dokie.

-When you said you had friends.

-We thought you
meant real friends.

-But they are real friends.

Janice here wants to
be a dental technician.

But Amir thinks she
isn't suited for it.

How can you crush
Janice's dream, Amir?

Yes, I'm sorry, Amir.

You're right.

We should get along.

That's what friends do.

Get along, not fight.

-Oy.

-You need to see this.

Bring Sad Eyes.

-Ah.

Please enjoy the hors d'oevres.

None of this "no thanks,
I'm stuffed" nonsense.

Rosalita!

You made it.

Rosalita!

You naughty girl.

You simply must,
must dance with me.

-The King.

Well, he's, he's--

-Stark raving mad.

-And crazy too.

-Without friends
his delicate psyche

snapped like Snappia
Snapperson, the snappingiest kid

in Snapsdelphia.

Son of Snap Snapperson, snap
photography specialist and--

-Rico.

-Doh.

-Thanks.

-I just wanted to
teach him a lesson.

I didn't want this.

-He needs you Maurice.

More than you ever knew.

-Come on, Mort.

We're going home.

-Mort.

Maurice.

You came to my party?

-We thought it might be fun.

-Splenduous.

But are you on the guest list?

Hmm.

-Oh, OK.

I get it.

You want me to beg.

Well, forget--

-Wait!

Don't go!

You are on the list.

Look!

See?

There you are and that is me
and nobody cares that you broke

my throne because we're
all friends again.

-Yeah, OK.

I guess we are.

-Huzzah!

Welcome to my party, Maurice.

I want you to be
considering my side

of the stripe, your
side of the stripe.

-Yeah!

Oh!

-Eh.

Now please, come meet Janice.

She wants to be a
dental technician.

And this is Amir.

He wants to crush
Janice's dream.

-It's good those
freaks have each other.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ALICE: I am now approaching
the Reptile House.

MAN [ON RADIO]:
Roger that, Alice.

Just be careful.

ALICE: I am being careful.

I am being extra,
super-- whoa!-- careful.

Very careful.

-Hey, what's going on?

-Intel is sketchy.

-All we know is we've got a
transfer from the Hoboken Zoo.

ALICE: I am now entering
the Reptile House.

I am now releasing the subject.

I am getting my sweet
patootie out of here!

-This warrants
further investigation.

-What's in there?

-Ribbit.

-Oh my gosh, he's just
a bundle of precious.

-Oh, he's the cutest thing
my eyes have ever seen.

-Cuter than me?

-Ah!

-Hello, little friend.

Welcome to the zoo.

I'm.

Oh, dear.

I don't think he can hear me.

Oh, and I think he's scared.

-Lock pop ladder, go!

-Now my little friend.

As I was saying.

I'm--

-Ribbet.

Annoying.

Get my lunch.

Flies, lightly sauteed.

Thank you.

[LAUGHS]

-Cute froggy.

He's funny.

-Yeah.

A real cut-up.

-Oh.

It's Hoboken all over again.

Listen, my name is Barry
and you all work for me now.

Everyone.

You do what I say,
when I say it.

-Aw.

Have you ever heard a
more adorable tirade?

I just want to scoop him up
and give him a great, big hug.

-Trust me lady, I'm
not the hugging type.

I'm the do what I say or
I'll ruin your life type.

-Oh, really, little hoppy?

And how are you
going to do that?

-Oh, like this.

-Haha!

Oh, that never gets old.

That never gets old.

-What's wrong with Rico?

-Toxins.

According to "Scratch and
Sniff Rainforest Animals,"

Barry is a poison dart frog.

His skin is drenched
in paralysing poisons.

-So nobody can touch Barry ever?

I guess he really
isn't the hugging type.

How sad.

-Yeah, boo-hoo.

How long till Rico's
back to normal?

-Um, Rico-normal
or normal-normal?

-Uh, Rico-normal.

-It could be days.

-I just have one question.

-Why does the Peruvian
booby smell like armpit?

-Uh.

No.

How do we fight an
enemy we can't touch?

-Skipper, maybe we don't
need to fight him at all.

-Hey, monkeys.

-Em.

Monkeys have tails.

We are--

---Giving me lip when you
should be giving me bananas.

Are we going to
have a problem here?

Do I need to break
out the toxic touch?

-No take them.

Take them all.

-I do not like this telling
other animals what to do.

That is my niche.

-Yo, elephant.

-Gah!

-Not a good idea.

Now get over there and
suck up those bananas.

Now!

[LAUGHS]

Now blow.

-OK, but I do like that.

Look at it.

I mean, you've got to
respect that creativity.

-Hey, what's the
matter with you two?

This is hilarious.

I demand you laugh with me.

-Ha.

Ha.

-We are not amused,
tiny amphibian.

-Sorry, Barry.

I know your bullying is just
a desperate cry for attention.

-Don't mollycoddle
the prisoner, Private.

He's getting what he deserves.

If there's one thing I
cannot stand, it's a bully.

One animals makes
it his business

to infringe on the
freedom of others.

I make it my business to
take that punk down a notch.

Or eight.

Right, Kowalski?

-Right.

And-- uh-oh.

[GASPS]

-Oh, come on!

Step up your game, birds.

I'm already up two-zip.

-Our situation is
rapidly deteriorating.

-What do we do, Skipper?

-Kowalski's been working
on a secret project.

It's untested.

Perhaps even dangerous.

Private, prepare yourself for
what you are about to see.

-Is, is that?

-Yes, Private, it is.

A six foot whacking stick.

Barry will never
know what hit it.

-Skipper, isn't there a
less violent solution?

-Yeah, sure, probably.

But I want to see
what this baby can do.

-Oh, Countess, your
tea is delicious.

-Thank you, Lady Nicewood.

Would you care for another
crumpet or whatnot?

-Haha.

Crumpet!

Oh, oh, I know!

I know!

Dance a waltz.

-Excuse me, cute froggy.

You seem to be confused.

I am the one who's to be
telling the animals what to do.

-Oh?

-Yes.

This is because I am king.

The bossiness is what I do.

However, if you
are interested, you

may apply for an internship.

-We're currently
accepting applications

for the spring semester.

-But until you've
properly internalised,

you must cease the
bossing around.

-Mm.

You know what?

Cease this!

-Oh!

-Ah!

-Oh, oh, wah!

-This madness ends now, punk.

-Oh.

Are you now going to pummelled
him until he is all squishy?

-That's the idea.

-Yes.

I am King Julien and
I approve this plan.

[SIGHS]

-Where'd he go?

-I, I don't know, Skipper.

-Boo.

-Ahh!

Get off, get off, get off!

Evac!

-Come on!

Let's play.

-All clear.

-Boo.

Again.

-Ah!

-No!

-Yes!

Three-zip.

And you're next.

-How do you touch someone
who's untouchable?

-It is a riddle
like what do you eat

first, the chicken or the egg?

I say the egg because
they are breakfast foods.

-That's not the way it goes.

-So you think the
chicken first, huh?

Oh, it does make a
nice base for the eggs.

-No.

That's not.

Mort, would you keep it down.

We're trying to think here.

-I like beans.

-Mort, who can be
dealing with you.

Stay in that can.

-That's it.

-Oy,

-Ow.

-Oy.

-Ow.

[TOOTING]

-Ow, who can save us?

-Penguin, it's time you
and me got in touch.

Take this.

Or this.

Or this.

Hey.

I can't--

-You can't touch me.

But I can touch you.

-Ah!

Stay away from me.

-Barry, I'm going to do to
you what no one else ever has.

-No!

No!

-Give you a big hug.

-Huh?

What?

-I would be a grumpy-gus too
if no one ever hugged me.

-Hey, you know what?

I never have been hugged.

Maybe this just what I needed.

Or maybe I'm just a jerk who
enjoys bullying other animals?

-Oh, well, in that
case, I can just

squeeze you till you
pop like a grape.

-No!

No!

Go with the hug.

Hug's good.

Actually, I'm liking the hug.

-Oh.

How you feeling, Kowalski?

-I can taste sound.

But that's past.

Rico?

-Hey.

-The best thing for it is
to get back on our feet.

-King me!

Hey guys!

-Anybody else seeing
a robot penguin

playing checkers
with a poisoned frog?

-Huh-uh.

-More rack time, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]