01x17 - Go Fish

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC]

-Du-aah.

-Haa.

-Rico, weapon's check.

Kowalski, intelligence.

-Substantially above average,
but I don't like to brag.

Oh.

The map.

Right here.

-Private, snack case.

-Swiss delight, lemon creme,
and a peanut butter winkie.

-All right, men, let's move in.

-Private, dibs on the
peanut butter winkie.

Easy does it, men.

This could well be a trap.

Rico.

[BANG]

-Well played, Skipper.

-It seems Dr. Blowhole isn't
as smart as he thinks he is.

-I don't think the peanut
butter winkie made it, Skipper.

-Curse you, Blowhole.

Blowhole.

-Well, Pen-gu-ins,
we meet once again.

-Well, well, Blowhole,
it's been a long time.

-Well, well, well, too long.

Well, well, well, well--

-Enough.

I suppose you are wondering
why it is that I have laid

a ridiculously
complicated trap for you.

-Actually, yes, I am.

Why tell when I can show?

You'll appreciate
this, Kowalski.

I have installed a
layer theatre system,

high definition
with surround sound.

Extremely spendy.

-Why do the bad guys
always get the good stuff?

-Hey, hey, hey, eyes
on the big screen.

See?

-Delicious dipped in butter.

What's your point?

-Now, imagine this
crustacean had

an exoskeleton of shiny metal.

Pen-gu-ins, I present--

VOICE [ON SCREEN]: Chrome Claw.

-Did you feel that subwoofer?

-Ah, he's just
rubbing my face in it.

-Without you Pen-gu-ins
around to foil my plans,

I will unleash--

VOICE [ON SCREEN]: Chrome Claw.

-On an unsuspecting world.

With this mutant monster at my
side, I will rule land and sea.

[EVIL LAUGH]

-Um, back up to that
"without you" part, please.

-I get the gist.

Rico.

-Uh-oh.

-We got us a laser show, boys.

-Who's foiled now?

[g*nf*re]

-Foiled?

Private, snack cakes.

-Is this really the time to--

-Private!

-Say what?

-Kowalski.

-Oooh.

-Aspirate Swiss
delight, Bottlenose.

-You have seen the
last of Dr. Blowhole.

-Good, run.

-Oh, you think--
all right, I mean,

this is the last you
will see of anything.

-Oh.

VOICE [ON SCREEN]:
Self-destruct in--

-Five seconds.

That's right.

We had only five seconds, but
we escaped with half a second

to spare.

It was a ripping adventure.

-Oh.

Oh, so a dolphin super villain.

No, I totally believe you.

-No really, Marlene.

He's our arch enemy.

Pure evil, with skin
that's surprisingly

pleasant to the touch.

Look, I've got the
mission file to prove it.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa,
h*-ha-whoa-ha.

It's top secret, Private.

Eyes only.

My eyes.

Not even sure about your
eyes, let alone her eyes.

-Actually, Skipper, these
files are declassified now.

-Pinhead pencil pushers.

They have no idea.

-Oooh.

They're-- they're nice.

Look, I know you guys do your
commando thing around here,

and you do it, you know, well.

But come on, I
mean, secret layers,

your Chrome Claw,
super spy stuff.

Please.

-Did you say spy?

I'm a spy.

I've be spying on
you this whole time.

I could have a
fancy spy car that

can sh**t things out
of the headlights.

No, fog lights.

They won't expect that.

-You Ringtail?

Facing the likes
of Dr. Blowhole.

He's pure evil.

With skin that's surprisingly
pleasant to the touch.

You wouldn't last five minutes.

-Oh, dear.

We're open.

-Well, I still say I
could be a spy guy.

[MUFFLED CRIES]

Mort, if this is a ploy
to get to the royal feet,

it's very clever,
but ineffective.

What is that on you anyway?

You smell like the fish weed.

Whoa.

Who the heck are you?

Nooo.

-Private.

-Sorry, Skipper, I'm not feeling
very cute or cuddly today.

-Oh, stop.

You're always cute and
cuddly, and you know it.

-I'm just cheesed
that Marlene doesn't

believe in Dr. Blowhole.

-Better that she
doesn't, Private.

Imagine if she blabbed,
and that mad doctor

discovered our secret Zoo HQ.

-Dr. Blowhole,
satellite targeting

has a lock on the enemy, and
they are subway convenient.

-Ha-ha-ah.

Excellent work Red One.

Prepare pen-gu-in transmission.

Pen-gu-ins, I have found you.

-Oh.

-Where is he?

-Greetings, my flightless foes.

-Oh, he's only on the TV.

-Get off of our TV.

-I have been spying on
you Pen-gu-ins for months

with state of the art,
looky-loo technology.

-Oh, he always gets
the good stuff.

-Yeah, he's a fine.

Go on.

-Uh, right, anyway
I have unmasked

your Achilles heel, Skipper.

Your greatest vulnerability
aside from the flightlessness.

-You fiend.

You cut off the peanut
butter winkie supply lines.

-What?

No.

But somebody write that down.

I struck the
cruellest blow of all.

I assure you,
Skipper, your world

will be rocked, life will
be drained of meaning,

for I have captured
your best friend.

-Help.

-Ha-ha-ha.

-Ringtail?

-I have been kidnapped
by Ninja shellfish.

This is outrageous.

And a little embarrassing,
quite frankly.

-You think he he's
my best friend?

-Oh, Skipper, don't
play coy with me.

My brain is bigger
than your whole body.

Look at you two.

Obvious BFFs.

-Kowalski, the code.

-Buffalo firefighter.

No.

Maybe Fat Flinger.

No.

Ah.

Best friends forever.

-You're stark raving mad.

Not you, Kowalski, him.

-Uh, let's not be
making him madder.

-This time I will triumph.

Just try and stop me,
and your fuzzy little

buddy sleeps with the fishes.

Ha-ha-ha.

-Uh, technically, fish don't
sleep, so much as rest.

You'd think a dolphin
would know that.

Unless he means-- oooh.

-Can you believe that
Blowhole, fuzzy little buddy.

You and Julien do spend a
good bit of time together.

-Quality time.

-Uh-hmm.

-Ringtail and I are not friends.

Case closed.

That said, let's go rescue him.

What?

It's the Penguin way.

-A Penguin never leaves his
fuzzy little buddy behind.

-You'll find sarcasm is more
effective if you don't giggle

it out like a naughty
school girl, Private.

-Right, sir.

-One thing doesn't add up.

If Julien is missing, why hasn't
anybody actually missed him?

-Whoa, Skipper, why so jumpy?

Mort.

-Mort.

-Why is he letting
you touch his feet?

-It's not because he's
a fake King Julien.

-Though, come to
think of it, the king

has been a little
low maintenance.

Mort.

Is this something
you haven't told me?

-Only that Ninja
lobsters tied me in kelp,

and replaced the
real King Julien

with this one that
let's me touch his feet.

Why?

-Hmm, is that all?

-Glowing red eyes.

That's almost never good.

Hut!

[expl*si*n]

MALE VOICE: My car.

-Yea.

Aaaaah.

-Kowalski, run a trace.

Picking up salty sea air, roller
coaster grease, and all beef

wiener with mustard.

-Coney Island.

-Subway convenient, at least.

-No.

He'll be expecting that.

Commence butt wiggling now.

Wiggle butt.

Carbonation agitation reaching
critical level, and lift off.

-Ha-ha-ha.

Ah-ha-ha-ha.

-Whoa-ha-ha-h*-ha-ha-ha.

Question.

Why are we laughing?

-Question.

How did the prisoner escape?

-The prisoner escaped?

Is he dangerous?

-No.

And apparently, he
isn't very bright.

-Oh, I know the type.

So let's talk.

-Aaaah.

Ah.

Ah.

I can't see.

-Then I will be your eyes.

Turn left.

Turn right.

Then do a loopy-loo.

-Get off me!

[CRASH]

-Aha, see, we make
an excellent team.

-What?

-I'm willing to
overlook your fishiness.

-A dolphin is not a fish.

I am all mammal, I assure you.

-If you say so, fishy face.

-No, really, why do you think
I have this hole in my head?

-Uh, yeah, I was trying
not to stare at that.

-To breathe oxygen, mammal.

-Then you and I are much alike.

-Oh, please.

Lobsters.

Ow, you're poking me.

-Can't help it, Doc.

-Yoo-hoo.

My hands are all soft.

And oh, look at that.

What is this?

Thumbs.

Two of them.

They make by hands handy
for picking things up.

-Fine.

-Uhh, ooh, your
skin is surprisingly

pleasant to the touch.

-Always make time to moisturise.

So I have a proposal for you.

Not the marriage kind of
proposal, a different kind.

-Hold that thought.

Ah-ah-ah.

-I'm on top of it, Doc.

-Oh, the splash zone.

Good seats.

-Come on, come on,
Boss Man needs a treat.

-Nice work.

Let's find Ringtail.

-There he is.

-Hello, slaphappy penguins!

-He doesn't look very
captured, does he?

-Not even a little.

-That would be a horrible
way to treat my partner.

-In crime.

-Ha-ha-ha.

-The king.

The king's feet.

The king's feet must be saved.

-Mort, I'm telling you,
you got to chill, man.

Penguins are on the case.

-Aah.

The king needs me.

-Huh?

-I am so glad you could all
be here to witness history.

I am, of course,
especially pleased

that flightless foes graced
us with their presence.

-Wouldn't miss it for the world.

-There's nothing good
on telly tonight anyway.

-Well, Private, here's a
little show I whipped up.

It's called--

VOICE [ON SCREEN]: Ring of Fire.

-It is fitting that I have
returned to the very aqua

theatre where I performed
tricks for the duller humans.

Oh, how it made me bitter.

-Sorry, did he say
bitter or better?

-Hard to say.

The sound really
bounces around in here.

-Well, that would be
the high ceilings.

-My humiliation in the Ring
of Fire became my inspiration.

In the frozen North, we've
constructed a vast circle

of absurdly pricey
devices that tap

into the heat of
the Earth's core.

-Oh, come on.

-Do you mind?

I'm just getting
to the good part.

It's really quite a shocker.

-So obvious.

Humiliated by the human.

-Activate the Ring of Fire.

-Melt the Arctic.

-Well, how did we do, punk?

-You're in the ballpark.

RINGTAIL: And then the
planet's water levels

will rise, and rise, and
then, jet skis for everybody.

-No.

Then I will have my
revenge, because the humans

will be jumping through hoops.

-Oh.

Can I have a jet ski then?

-You know, we're
going to stop you.

-You can try.

But this time, I have an
army of crustaceans warriors.

-Yea, yea, yea.

-Yeah, we can take them.

-Oh, really, Skipper.

Give us all you Pen-gu-ins got.

So they cut down


We've got more lobsters.

-Well, whoa, wait,
wait a minute.

-Grrrr.

-How can the
Penguins do anything?

They are thoroughly trapped.

-Trust me.

They never stay trapped.

-Don't lose hope, boys.

Sometimes all it takes is one
lucky serendipitous break.

-Aaaaah.

The king's feet must be freed.

I took the subway.

-Mort, I am not even a prisoner.

Oh, and by the
way, not the feet.

-Wheeee.

-Nice work, Sad Eyes.

-See?

See?

This is what I'm talking about.

Lobsters, attack.

Lobster time.

-You have to understand.

He's just such a freak.

-Oh, yike.

VOICE [ON SCREEN]:
Ring of Fire activated.

-You fiend.

-You know it.

Come, fellow evil mammal, join
me and bask in our victory.

-Oh, I do like basking.

NEWSCASTER [ON SCREEN]: This
is Chuck Charles coming to you

live from the
Arctic Circle where

the mysterious and
sinister towers

have erupted from underground.

-Yea.

- they form a giant-- sorry.

Where they form a giant
circle around the North Pole.

This can only be described
as a hoop of heat.

-Ring of Fire.

-I do not like this show.

-Me neither.

Let's pull the plug.

-Oh, Skipper, you have more
urgent matters to deal with.

-Like what?

-Like a certain mutation
I like to call--

-Chrome Claw.

-Ah, so you did get around
to making that monster?

-Yes, and I'm rather pleased
with how he turned out.

-That would be
extremely impressive

if it weren't about to--

-Put an end to this madness.

-I am victorious.

I am suddenly moving backwards.

-Hey, off.

-No need to panic.

I'm smarter than that egomaniac.

The big red button
turned it on, therefore,

the big blue button must--

VOICE [ON SCREEN]: Speed output
increased to a ludicrous level.

Arctic meltdown will
now be even faster.

-Thank you, Kowalski.

NEWSCASTER [ON
SCREEN]: The North Pole

is surely doomed as
this hoop of heat

melts the ice and snow
at an alarming rate.

Whoa.

This is Chuck Charles,
and I cannot swim.

Help.

-Ha.

Green.

The green button will surely--

VOICE [ON SCREEN]: Speed output
increased beyond all reason.

-Ohh.

-Kowalski, staus report.

-Mostly not good with
hints of horrible.

-You have failed, Skipper.

Bad news for non-swimmers.

-Yoo-hoo, Blowey.

-I'm a little busy.

-Can't you see we're tussling?

-I just thought that
you'd want to know,

I am not going to side of evil.

I am a double agent.

-What?

-I am a good guy's spy.

VOICE [ON SCREEN]: Ring of
Fire shut down in progress.

-Oh, purple was my next guess.

-Noooo.

-Yea, for King Julien.

He's the best double agent ever.

NEWSCASTER [ON SCREEN]: This
is Chuck Charles rewarding

that the planet, and
more importantly,

I have survived this disaster.

-You have foiled my
plan for revenge.

But for that, I
will get revenge.

-Wait, are we talking
a new revenge here?

-Revenge against the
humans, revenge against you,

yes, I've got a whole bunch
of revenges piling up,

and it's not pretty.

-If you ask me,
the not pretty part

was the bad guy running
away like a scared baby.

He was no match for me,
double agent spy guy.

-You're kidding, right?

-No, Marlene, you
are wrong again.

Shut it.

-I helped.

-Uh, Julien, the double
agent saves the world?

Go on.

-Eh, uh, eh, so I faced
danger and the adventure

of a lifetime, and nobody
will ever know about it?

-Welcome to my world.

That makes you an
honorary Penguin.

-Does that mean I am your BFF?

Eh, we'll keep that
code on the QT.

-King Julien is a
Buffalo Firefighter.

[THEME MUSIC]