01x10 - Tangled in the Web

[bunniefuu]

And now DreamWorks, The
Penguins of Madagascar.

[THEME MUSIC]

Hit it.

Hey-ooh now, oh, hey-oh.

Hey-oh, oh hey-oh.

Cute and cuddly, boys.

[SNORING]

[ALARM RINGING]

-What is it?

I didn't touch it, I swear.

-Evacuate.

Evacuate.

-We're under attack.

-Gentlemen, if this has been
an actual tennis ball machine

uprising, we would have
lost game, set, match.

-This was a drill?

-Affirmative.

-Ha, ha, ha, ha, heh.

-I'm sorry, Skipper.

-Don't be sorry, Private.

Be alert.

You never know when our
enemies are about-- whoa.

What in the ham state?

-Um, Skipper, is this
part of the drill?

-Here you go, doc.

Four penguins ready
for treatment.

-Right, thank you Alice.

-This is just a routine
visit to the doctor.

Turn and cough, boys.

Turn and cough.

-OK, who's my first victim?

-Wow.

That's a big needle.

-Let's start with you, friend.

-This, uh, is all routine, men.

Nothing to, uh,
nothing to fear here.

Just a routine visit.

Totally normal.

Don't, uh, don't,
uh, panic, men.

Keep it together!

-Um, OK.

-Next?

-Be strong, Kowalski, be strong.

KOWALSKI: Good Galileo.

Galiele-eee!

-Man's a butcher.

-Rico, evac.

Move, men, move.

-Huh?

-All righty, you're up, pal.

[SCREAMING]

-OK, and now--

[POW]

-Think again, Dr. Deranged.

I don't do needles.

-I don't mean to be cheeky,
but why'd the doctor

have to give the
shot in the bum?

-Our fleshy buttocks
make ideal distribution

points for injected medicines.

Unfortunately.

[MOANING]

-Listen to us carrying on.

It was just a little pinprick.

Skip would be ashamed of us.

-Yes, I expect him to drop
through that hatch any moment

and call us a bunch
of whiny babies.

-Lookout men, look out.

Our entire operation
has been compromised.

-Compromised?

-Is-- is this another drill?

-Negative.

All you need to know
is we've got to--

-Evacuate.

Evacuate.

-Pack light.

Only the essentials.

In less than two minutes,
we leave this base forever.

-Forever?

-Forever?

-Forever.

-I've got the zoo
in total lockdown.

Nobody gets in, nobody gets out.

-Is that really
necessary, Alice?

-Yes.

I'm telling you, that
penguin is a tricky one.

-Lockdown.

They're onto me.

I mean, us.

-This complicates our
escape considerably.

-Hot dog cart at three o'clock.

Roll out.

Rico, lights.

Kowalski, options.

-We'll need a diversion.

I suggest releasing
the spider monkeys.

Bedlam is their middle name.

-They never disappoint.

-Amid the chaos, we escape
through the south entrance.

-Good.

And then?

-Then we get jobs as
holidays store displays.

When we've earned enough money
we build a new secret lair,

one with laser beams.

-Oh, laser beams!

-Solid plan, Kowalski.

I dig it.

-Me too.

But I do have one question.

-sh**t, little private.

-Uh, didn't you get
your shot, Skipper?

-Uh, yeah.

Yeah, of course I did.

What could possibly make
you think such a thing?

-The doctor didn't
take your ankle tag.

[SIGHS]

-I can't lie to you men.

We're leaving this
is zero because

I'm a-- fray-ay-ay-ay-ay.

-You're a fray-ay-ay-ay-ay?

-No, I'm a
fro-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah.

-I'm not familiar
with that term.

-I'm a
fruga-ga-looga-looga-looga.

-It sounds like he's
trying to say he's afraid.

-Private, that's
the most absurd,

ridiculous, nonsensical--

-No, Private's right.

We're leaving the zoo because
I'm afraid to get a shot.

-Actually, I kind of suspected.

-Oh, Skipper.

There's nothing to fear
from a visit to the doctor.

-Except his big,
sharp needle and its

slow burn if pain that--

-That doesn't feel
as bad as it feels.

We'll be at your side
every step of the way.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Gentlemen, it's an
honour to serve with you.

Come on.

It's time to stop running.

-There she is.

-Just waddle over
and turn yourself in.

Nothing to it, right Skipper?

Skipper?

-Skipper!

-You really don't wanna
get that shot, do you?

-Hi-ya!

-I don't think we're
gonna catch him.

-Clearly, he is the master
and we his unworthy students.

-No.

-If we don't find
an answer soon,

Skipper may leave the
zoo grounds forever.

-Forever?

-Evacuate.

-We can't lose Skipper.

There must be some way.

-Wait, Alice is looking for a
penguin wearing an ankle tag,

right?

-Private, you're not thinking--

-Indeed I am.

I think.

-But if you are thinking
what I think you're thinking,

I think it could be risky.

-If it means getting the Skipper
back, it'll all be worth it.

-OK here's what I'm thinking.

We change the zoo records to say
there are only three penguins.

Hold that thought.

You, freeze.

Huh.

I thought you were taller.

Oh well.

-Yes, Private's plan is working.

-Phil, I don't have
to break this to you.

There is no checkmate
in Checkers.

Ugh!

You groom your mother
with those hands.

-All that trouble you caused.

I should get hazard pay.

-Private's sacrificing
himself for me.

-I say, how long have
you been under there?

-Two shots in one day.

Boy's not gonna sit for weeks.

-Pardon?

-Private pulled the old
switcharoo on Alice.

She thinks he's me.

He's gonna take my shot.

-Oh, dear.

Phil says if Private has
already had one shot,

a second one could
make him quite ill.

Or worse.

-Doc?

Hey, doc.

I got your missing penguin.

[SIGHS]

-Skipper, what are
you doing here?

-Saving you from saving me.

-But it's all right.

I don't mind taking
another shot.

I can always turn
the other cheek.

-You'll mind if it makes
you sick, or worse.

-How worse?

-You know, the
chimps didn't say.

I assume you'll grow a
second head or something.

-I don't want second head.

-And hurry, man.

The doc will be here any second.

-You know, Skipper, none
of us think any less of you

for being afraid.

-Well, I do.

And fear almost hurt a friend.

Now get outta here, soldier.

-Well, there you are
my little friend.

Now, please hold still.

This won't hurt at all.

[SCREAMING]

-Actually, it was excruciating.

But it could have been worse.

It's funny how fear feeds on
itself, like an engorged tic.

Ripe blood ready to
burst in a shower of--

-Skipper, please.

-Oh, sorry, man.

-The point is, fear of
medical professionals

is completely unwarranted.

Yes, the benefits
to one's health

and well-being are simply too--

-Looks like you penguins are
due for a visit to the dentist.

-The dentist?

[SCREAMING]

-But we don't have teeth.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Ah, Sunday Monday morning.

-Sunday morning?

Uh-uh, no.

It is still Saturday
night, baby.

The sky spirit told me.

-Sky spirit?

-Yes.

They send me signs
because I am the king.

See that cloud?

It says to me, "Party
with the panzees."

-Chim-panzees.

And we were enjoying a quiet
morning, if you don't mind.

-I do mind.

That cloud there
said party time,

so it is time to party, mister.

And I got that crazy
congo rhythm mood.

[CONGA MUSIC PLAYING]

-Oh, please.

Not conga.

-I am the Conga King,
doing the conga thing.

Tail up then tail down, hold
my bottom and sing, woo!

Let's all go congaga.

More fun in congaga.

You can't stop congaga.

Jump in line and sing.

-Congaga!

-Let's all go congaga.

More fun in congaga.

You can't stop congaga.

Jump in line and sing.

-Congaga!

-Please don't be
t*rd 'cause we're

having a non-stop dance party.

That noise, little boys, is
called con- con- con- ga- ga!

Congaga!

Conga-ga!

-Woo-hoo!

Yay!

Work it, Julien.

-Come on, you funky monkeys.

Jump in line.

-He must be stopped
before he congas again.

An eclipse?

What's that have to do
with King Dancy Pants?

The sky spirits, you say.

Phil, that is
positively diabolical.

Lovely.

-Woo-ee.

I am swimming in
kingly sweatiness.

Turn up the fan, Maurice.

Oh, that is funky.

And not in a musical way.

-King Julien, you
are truly inspiring.

-Ugh, I know.

It is from the dancing.

-Yes, about the dancing.

We were just conversing
with the sky spirits--

-Word up.

The sky spirits love me.

Peace out, sky spirits.

Eh, wait, wait, wait.

Conversing?

-Uh, indeed.

Phil translates, actually.

Begin countdown.

-Anyway, the sky
spirits want to tell

you something right about now.

-Eh, why is the blue
sky not sky-blueish?

-Somebody made the sky
spirits very, very angry.

-Yeah?

I wonder who's that.

-Skipper, something's
wrong with the sun.

-He finally did it.

-Who did what?

-My mad dolphin
nemesis, Dr. Blowhole.

He blew out the sun.

-Actually, according
to my calculations

it is the rare cosmic event
known as a solar eclipse.

-Gah.

-Are you sure it's not
the crazed handiwork

of my marine mammal foe?

-It's totally natural.

The moon is between
the Earth and the sun.

Oh, it's a total eclipse.

Wow.

Are you as totally stoked
about this as I am?

Um, it should only
last a few minutes.

-Forever?

No more sun forever?

-Phil?

-Afraid so.

The sky spirits are
terrifically peeved at you.

Apparently-- and this is
them talking, not me-- they

feel that you're rude,
bossy, selfish-- oh,

and they absolutely loathe
the all-night dance parties.

-Maurice, say something to them.

-Sorry, I don't
speak Sky Spirit.

-What can I do to make
them love me again?

Oh, to bring back the fans.

-Phil?

Ridiculous.

The king would
never stoop so low.

-Eh, how low are we talking?

Like this?

-Well, change your kingly ways.

Be less bossy, less
rude, and less conga- ga.

-Eh!

Her me, sky spirits.

I get the message.

I can change.

I mean, you know, a little.

-Er, make it a lot and
you've got yourself a deal.

-OK, you win.

I'll challenge bigly.

Yes.

Yes.

Thanking you, sky spirits.

I will not let you down.

-Good luck with
the nice new you.

-Nice?

Oh, going to need a
little help with that.

-Oh, hello.

-You are the nicest guy here.

Make me be nice.

I command you.

-That wasn't very nice.

-Then you are failing already.

-Ahem.

-I mean, you are the
nicest guy here, right?

-Oh.

Well, that's very
kind of you to say.

-Aha, see?

That's what I'm talking
about, right there.

The nice.

I need some of that.

-Kowalski, analysis.

-I'm picking up good vibrations.

-Please, if you don't
help me, every day

will be an all-night party
without the party part.

The sky spirits said so.

-Sky spirits.

-Yes, did you see the darkness?

-Oh, the eclipse.

-No, the darkness.

It was my fault.

And now I'm doomed to be nice.

And I don't know how to do that.

-Well, if you want others
to think of you as nice,

you could start by
being nice to others.

-Genius.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[expl*si*n]

-Just waiting for
you to roll over so

I can fluff up your pillow.

-Not necessary.

-It's OK, I'm prepared
to stay all night.

-I like a hard pillow.

-Oh, I could be your pillow.

My bottom is very plush
and fluffy, you know.

[GROWLING]

-Now that's it.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

-For you or Julien?

-Whatever works.

-You can stop now, please.

-Just quite being nice already.

-Oh, I see.

This is a test to see
if I can stay nice,

even when you get
all mean and screamy.

Clever penguin.

-And now the test is to
be nice to someone else.

Someone you've never
been nice to ever before.

-Hmm, OK.

Oh, Mort!

-This is the life.

Ever since the chimps told
him about the sky spirits

hating on him and
shutting out the lights--

-Bill and Mason?

-Looks like the chimps
played ringtail for a chump.

-I am so happy.

-Ew.

-It's shiatsu.

I think.

-Listen up, men.

The truth is, the
darkness had nothing

to do with any so-called
sky spirits, or you.

You were conned.

Tricked.

Played for a patsy.

-That kind of talk can
get you in big trouble

with the sky spirits, mister.

But do you want to be
the one massaging Mort?

I do not think so.

-Skipper?

I have what you're looking for.

-Outstanding.

So when's the next big eclipse?

-From today, 27 years.

In Brazil.

-Oh, I've always wanted
to go to Carnival.

-Bah.

OK, OK, think.

We need another sign
from the sky spirits.

Dealer takes two.

-A losing hand.

That's the signal.

-Storm generator is a go.

-Four aces.

I win.

In your face.

Er, I win, of course.

This is your hand.

I was only holding it.

-Sounds like the sky spirits are
trying to send you a message.

-But I am being
extra crazy nice.

-Well, New York sky
spirits are fickle pickles.

They send us a sky spark.

-Eh, a sky spark?

-Yes.

That's their way of saying--

-That I have to be even nicer?

-No.

If you see a flash
in the sky, that

means you can stop
with the being nice.

-No more pillow fluffing?

-Bingo.

Like this never happened.

-Go, go, go.

[BELL CHIMES]

[THUNDER]

-Oh, this is all so complicated.

-Did you see it?

-Er, see what?

-Oh dear.

I think you missed it.

-But we did create a cloudburst.

-Oh, the sky spirits are crying.

-No, it was a sign from above.

The sky spirits
want you to go back

to your old royal pain self.

-I can congaga again?

-I don't know what that
means, but yeah, sure.

Go for it.

-Ooh, colourful.

Is that the sign of
which you are speaking?

-Yeah, that's the one.

-Oh, powerful New
York Sky Spirits,

I read you loud and clear.

Because you helped me get
back the sky spirit love,

I will now spread some
of that love here, now

and for a long time to come.

-Oh, please no.

-Oh please, yes.

Party time, panzees.

-Mission accomplished, men.

[THEME MUSIC]