Dead Shack (2017)

[bunniefuu]

Oh no... Why am I so high ?

No, no !

What the f*ck ?!

DEAD SHACK

Want me to send you a f*cking list of
people he can hang out with, Shane ?

I'm sure he doesn't approve of all
the time you spend with Mary.

Now we're going there ?
I thought we talked about this.

Now we wanna talk about
f*cking Mary.

How many f*cking times do you
wanna talk about f*cking Mary ?

That was bullshit,
you know that !

On our way

That was a d*ck, btw

Yo, Jay ! Jason, yo.
You got my text, right ?

- It was a d*ck.
- Yeah, I got it.

Get in.

- What's up, big Jay ?
- Hey, Mr. Slade.

- Hi, Miss Lisa.
- Hey.

Hey, Summer !

Why do you always wait outside
when we come and pick you up ?

You never let me in your house.
Are you embarrassed of me ?

- Like, what if I have to pee, man ?
- No, man.

My house is a trashy piece
of ding dong.

No, my house is a way
trashier piece of ding dong.

- There's no way, man.
- 'Cause we're way poorer than you...

Hey, Colin, come on.
We're not that poor.

And stop saying "ding dong".
You sound super lame.

Hey, there we go.

Jesus Christ, Roger !
Don't text and drive, dad !

I'm not texting, okay ?
I'm checking my emails.

Alright, guys. Let's go eat.
Summer, wake up your brother.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, come on, honey.

The Hilltop Diner I'm sure is good
enough for your distinguished palate.

Yeah, Lisa, I hear that they serve
their chicken nuggets with caviar.

- Nuggets !
- I'm not hungry.

- Sure you don't want somethin' ?
- Yeah, a top off.

- Nobody likes a morning drunk, Lisa.
- Nobody likes a smart-a*s, Summer.

- I like morning drunk Lisa.
- I'm on vaycay mode.

Great catch, dad.
I hate you.

Be quick.

Yeah.
I'm gonna post that.

- What'd you say ?
- I said "great catch".

And "I hate you".

Check out all the missing bros.
I mean, ugh.

One dude called himself "Gator".
What a d*ck !

Come on, Colin. Don't be an as*h*le.
Those guys are missing.

Dad, did you crack a window
open for Lisa ?

Don't disrespect your maybe
future stepmom, please.

- Seriously dad, don't settle.
- What ? She's nice.

Yeah, but so was Dolores
and Denise...

- And Shannon and Lily.
- Yes, and Michelle, too.

- Michelle. She was hot.
- She was super hot.

I blew that one.

- And what can I get ya ?
- Oh, hi.

We will start off with...
maybe some bigger menus.

- Okay.
- Can I get some coffee ?

Don't listen to him.

He's making me sound like
I'm an irresponsible parent.

We'll just get four beers,
please.

Nope, still nothing.

I'll get the Trucker's Breakfast
please and thank you.

Salad, please.

Can I get toast and jam,
please ?

Can I just get some
eggs and sh*t ?

Colin, come on.

Can I have some eggs
and sh*t, please ?

- Eggs and sh*t coming right up.
- Thank you.

Shouldn't take too long.

You wanna take those ? No ?
Ok, we'll just leave them.

So, guys, who's excited, huh ?
Camping trip ?

- I'm excited.
- Going to a cabin.

We'll act like rednecks, or people
who don't trust the government.

- You already don't.
- I know I don't, yeah.

So, Jay ? Not excited ?

Your dad doesn't take you
camping or something ?

No, my dad's not really
the camping type, Mr. Slade.

Yeah, 'cause your dad's more
of the d*ck-sucking type, right ?

- Stop !
- Colin, too much.

No, that's what Jason says
and Jay knows I'm messin' with him.

That's how we roll.

You act like a little d*uche
and then Jason politely takes it ?

Hey, I don't just take it.

- You kinda do, Jay.
- Yeah, you kinda do, Jay, honestly.

You need to toughen up
a little bit, you know ?

Start with a power five, you know ?
See, a power five.

Like this, come on. Power five !
Like that. We'll work on it.

We'll work on it
this weekend.

Or you could just be super
butchy like Summer.

- Hey, shut up, pube-head.
- Stop it.

- Stop what ?
- Stop wasting food, Colin.

Ketchup is not food,
Ronald Reagan.

Ok, stop it now...

Guys, come on !

- sh*t, Colin !
- Colin, enough. Seriously.

Summer, language.
Jason, bathroom.

I'm sorry about that, Jay.
That was super trashy of me.

What ?
It was funny.

- What ?
- Okay, alright.

Okay, just leave the condiments alone.
Please !

I swear both of you are adopted,
you know that ?

That's some funny sh*t, dude.

Seriously, you should come
by my dad's cottage.

- I'm gonna start my own business.
- Blue chips, paint chips, stocks.

- We like to go to the casino...
- Paint chip stocks ?

Seriously, you should come
to my dad's cottage, it is so chill.

- Hot tub.
- So. Chill.

- Excuse me, I need to get through...
- Hey, broskis !

Can you let the kid through,
please ?

Dude. I think that kid just got
his first period.

What a fine young woman
you've become.

Sweetie, don't let the big bad
bros scare ya.

They might look pretty
but they ain't that smart.

I like you guys better drunk
and quiet.

The more you drink the less you
talk and the more I like you.

Hear that, bro ?
She thinks we're pretty.

Why don't you go get the rest
of that taken care of, sweetie ?

Alright, thanks.

Yeah, let's get lit !

Don't forget to thank
the nice lady, Jason.

Don't forget to ask your friend
for a tampon, Jason.

I had coffee.

I saved you some sausages.

You like sausages,
don't you, Lisa ?

- Colin.
- Yeah.

Of course she likes sausages.

We're talking about penises.

Couldn't find somewhere further,
could you ?

- Seriously, Roger.
- Yeah, seriously, dad.

It's the cheapest place that I could
find on Craigslist, alright ?

You think that I can
afford a place that is not

in the middle of nowhere
or potentially dangerous ?

Hey, you picked him.
He's my dad so I have to like him.

You guys are bonding.

That makes me feel
all warm inside.

Don't settle, Lisa.

It's nice being out of the city,
eh, Summer ?

Touching nature.

Being able to be in touch
with nature.

Yeah, Jay. You can touch nature
all you want, there, buddy.

No, I just meant
it's nice to spend time and...

- Can I grab your bag for you ?
- Knock yourself out, boy scout.

This place looks like
a m*rder cabin.

Jay, you should keep my sister close
so she can protect you.

You know, it doesn't say
it in the instructions

but I mean there's gotta be a hidden
key around here somewhere, right ?

High-tech security.
Safe.

Shotgun the best room !

You can't shotgun what you
can't see, dumb-a*s.

Watch the booze, Rog.
I am not spending a week in here sober.

Women. Am I right, big guy ?

Let me help you
with that.

- This is nice.
- Dad, this place sucks.

What're you talking about ?
It's cozy in here.

- Where's Lisa ?
- Lisa's gone.

What do you mean,
she's gone ?

You're joking !

- Funny !
- Just up there, Jason.

- Thanks for dropping my bags off.
- Oh, yeah, no, that was...

That was no problem, Summer.
I was just happy I could help.

You know, I've seen the way
you look at me.

You're like 14 or something ?

Adorable. But weird.

- Adorable is good, right ?
- Nah.

You blew it, man.

I shotgun this bed, by the way.

If you forgot the white tequila, Roger,
I swear to God...

Come on, my little fortune cookie,
I'd never forget the white gold.

- Dad, sweet racism.
- What ?

Was I r*cist ?

I'm gonna explore.
You two coming ?

Spend more time
with my lame sister ?

- Yeah, sure, we'll go.
- Okay. Dad, Lisa, we're leaving !

- Okay, later.
-Babe, pay attention to me !

You must be a really
good pitcher, Summer.

I play first base.

So, your parents like
to party, huh ?

Lisa's not my mom.
But yeah, they do. Yours ?

Yeah, no, they party all the time.
They're, like, super trashy.

Okay, dude, don't try to hit
on my sister in front of me.

I wasn't hitting on your sister, man.
She's not even really my type.

Really ? Why is that ?

Well, you walk weird, and...

your hair is too messy

and, you can be mean
sometimes and...

- Well, your family is...
- Messed up ?

- That's not what I meant...
- To say ?

Look, I'm messing with you, Jason.
You really gotta loosen up, man.

My family's messed up, too,
you know.

Strike two, playa.

Check it out !

Maybe a deer died here
or something.

Yeah, it's pretty sweet.

This would be good for
LARP Camp next week.

Yeah, about that live action
role play thing next week...

I mean, it's really more
of a seminar.

But I don't even know
if I can go or whatever.

Oh, 'cause you wanna go
on a date with my sister ?

Dude. No way, man.

I mean, she could come
to LARP camp too,

but I mean, she would
make a great demon cow.

- Whatever, man.
- Ugliest, nastiest demon cow.

- Ever.
- I mean, she's not that ugly.

Dude. Gross.

Dungeons and Dildos,
let's keep moving !

- We were just, you know...
- Dude. Who cares ?

Whatever you're showing us
better be better

than playing with bones in the woods.
Okay, Summer ?

- f*ck !
- Okay.

A shitty old house with a bunch
of shitty old cars.

f*ck off, Colin !

Sweet.

Guys ? I think this is
private property.

Yeah, be more of a wuss, Jason.
Girls love that stuff.

Shotgun !

It friggin' stinks in here !

Summer ! I really don't think
we should be here.

Are you scared of guard dogs
or something ?

Yeah. Aren't you ?

No.

Well, good. I feel safer already.

Yo, what is all this sh*t ?
Hey guys, come here !

Colin, get outta there.

- Oh, gross ! I'm gonna barf !
- Oh, god. It smells like your room.

- Come on, let's bounce.
- Yeah, that's a great idea.

There's mad bling up
in this barrel !

Hey, that might actually be
worth something.

- Hey, f*ck you ! That's mine !
- You're such a p*ssy, Colin.

Hey, shut up. That's sexist.
You're such a p*nis, Summer.

Guys, we should get the heck
outta here.

There's melted watches and cell phones
and crap in here, too.

- Oh, sh*t !
- See that ?

Let's go !

- We're gonna get arrested !
- Arrested ?

We're gonna get freakin' m*rder*d !

Okay, go.
Come on, go !

Is this where the party is ?

We are gonna get so turn't.

What's with all the cars ? What are
you, like, a mechanic or something ?

That'd be kinda hot.

Thanks for driving, lady,
'cause we're so wasted.

- Okay, can we go ?
- Nah, dude.

This place's gonna have
a threesome.

Colin, you don't even know
what that means.

It's 2017, Summer. Everybody
knows what everything means.

You're gonna get us shot !

So, like... where
are we gonna do this thing ?

'Cause full offense, lady,
this house is creepy.

What's with all
the unicorn stuff ?

I know we may not look it
but we're real artists in the bedroom.

You guys think dad has
ever had a threesome ?

God, shut up, Colin.

I did stunts in a movie once.

Hello sexy !

To good times
and awesome strangers.

You don't dance, lady ?

- Shut up, Colin !
- Shut up, Summer !

- f*ck you !
- Frig off, Summer !

It's go time.

That's messed up, bro.

Guys, can we go do,
like, literally anything else ?

No.

What the f*ck...

What ?

Guys, I think she drugged them.

No, no.
Maybe they're just really drunk.

I mean, dad passes out
all the time, right ?

- Where are you going ?
- Summer !

f*ck !

Guys.

Oh, f*ck !
Kids, I got something for ya.

Clinton, Alicia,
time for breakfast.

Can we please go ?

Alicia !
It's time for breakfast.

- Can we go ?
- Shut up.

What the hell ?

- I wanna see.
- No, Colin, let's go !

No, you saw it.
You wanted to save these bros.

Colin !

Come on ! Let's go !
Now !

Summer !

- Summer !
- Colin !

- Summer !
- Colin !

What did you see ?

Blood ! Eating !

She k*lled them !
f*ck !

- What the hell'd you do that for ?
- I just saved the other dude's life !

How ?

Well, now she knows that someone
else is out here and saw everything.

And that she should m*rder us
to tie up loose ends ?

I thought you were
gonna throw a rock, too !

Guys !

Let's go !

You're such a little prick, Colin !
This is all your fault !

How is this my fault ?

"Oh, those playas gonna
have a threesome !"

How was I supposed to know
she's a bro-drugging psycho ?

- I'm not f*cking psychic !
- Yeah, but you're bloody stupid !

Yeah, and you're a bloody b*tch !
No wonder mom left !

- Guys !
- f*ck you !

- What ?
- Listen to me !

Chances are that woman,

she probably knows these woods
better than we do.

We're not safe until we tell
your parents what happened.

So apologize now
and let's go.

Or don't.
Either way, we should still get going.

Okay, good.
Let's go !

Let's go, okay ?

- You got any 8's ?
- Go fish.

It's your lucky day, cowgirl.

You got any 4's ?

Nope. Go fish.

Caught a big one.

- Dad !
- Oh, sh*t !

- Dad, there's a psycho b*tch !
- Lisa and I, we were just...

Playing Go Fish Foreplay, yeah.

- Wait, that's a thing ?
- f*ck, hot dogs !

Hey, sensible bites, Colin.

- Dad, you need to listen to me.
- Yeah, what's up ?

The neighbour,
it's our neighbour and it...

Henry's here ? I love that guy.
Sperm whale, where are you, you...

What the f*ck, dad ?

Not our neighbour back home,
our neighbour here !

- Are you drunk already ?
- If I say yes will you be mad ?

- Yes !
- Then no.

Okay, dad, you really need
to focus here.

Our neighbour, she drugged these guys
and then she k*lled one of them...

No, she would have fed them
to something.

That's the same as
k*lling them !

So what you're saying is
that our neighbour,

who is a lady,
is also a cannibal.

Colin, is she hot ?

Yeah.

We gotta go then
and check this out.

Okay, dad... Can we just call
the cops and get outta here ?

Come on, we're not gonna
call the cops. Look.

Fine. I'll drive.

Yeah, I'm gonna let you drive.

- Screw you, Lisa !
- Summer, come on.

You don't suppose that there's
a landline around here or something ?

- What's a landline ?
- Why did we even come here ?

- 'Cause it's cheap.
- Alright, guys, seriously. Enough.

We'll go for a walk.

I'm gonna get some fresh air,
and check out this cabin.

Together. Okay ?

If there's anything shady going
on I'll take care of it.

- No, dad !
- Summer.

I got this.

Seriously, dad, you're really
not helping anything.

Jason. Jason !

Have fun, Jason ! I'll have fun
in here not getting eaten !

You can help me make dinner.

No.

I guess you already ate.

I peed on my beer cans.
I almost wrote my whole name.

Here.

What do you want me to do
with this ?

Jay, big Jay,
come on, no...

Only responsible...
rebe... response...

Only persponsible grown-ups
are allowed to use the axes.

Lisa !

Take a photo of me.
I look like a lumberjack.

You look so sexy.

- That's disgusting.
- No, it's not. It's sexy.

You heard her say it.

With any luck he's gonna
get bored and fall asleep

and then we can drag
his drunk a*s back home.

No, you won't !

Hey, look ! I got a kick-stand.

You drink six, you piss out twelve.
Am I right, kids ?

Yeah, dad, you've had your fun,
so we can go back now, right ?

- There's hot dogs at home.
- Yeah, but this is way more fun.

I don't think he should be
out here in this state.

Well, to be fair, my dad does
his best fighting when he's drunk.

Yeah, that's right.
Power five.

That was pretty weak, Jason.
I'm being honest with you.

I'll tell you, give you
a word of advice.

A man can always tell
how manly a man is

by how powerful his
power five is.

Thanks for those words of wisdom,
Mr. Slade. That's great.

Roger.

Call me Roger.

I consider you to be
a son to me, you know ?

- A taller, better-looking son.
- God, dad !

I'm joking ! Come on.
Let's go find some f*cking cannibals.

- Hey, cannibals !
- Okay.

Just a little more quiet,
maybe ?

Hit me, baby, one more...

So this is it.

I should go on adventures
with you kids more often.

Mr. Slade !
You really need to be quiet !

Okay, you know what, Jason ?

I'm super drunk
and I'm kinda high.

So being quiet is really hard
for me.

Good talk.

Let's go !

- Oh, that smells like sh*t.
- Dad !

- With love, shut up !
- Yeah !

Tastes like sh*t, too.

This is boring. I'm gonna go
and see if anyone's home.

Dad !

It's your neighbour.

Carrying a big axe !

Dad, stop dicking around !

It's okay.
It's just really cheap wine.

- I'm gonna try this room.
- Dad, seriously !

You guys hear that ?

I'm just gonna turn off that music.
I'll turn it back on later.

Dad !

I don't see any cannibals.

Come on.

Maybe she has a phone
or something.

We just broke into
someone's house.

How messed up is that ?

Hey, Lisa, I have to pee.

We've been through this before, Colin.
You don't need to ask me.

Well, what if the psycho
cannibal lady is in there ?

Dammit, Colin, close the door !

Well, what if the cannibal
lady is in here waiting for me

to close the door so she can
friggin' m*rder me ?

You think about that, Lisa ?
No. You didn't.

'Cause you didn't finish
high school.

Hey, Lisa ?
Do we have any dessert ?

Yeah, it's called get some
damn manners cake !

It's about damn time.

What the f*ck ?

f*ck !

Stop it !

You're squeezing me !

f*ck !

Oh, f*ck. Goddammit !

Be quiet, f*cking piece
of sh*t !

f*ck !

- Okay, so what now ?
- Well, maybe we should...

Think we should split up
and cover more ground ?

I was thinking the exact
same thing, my friend.

I was actually gonna say stick
together no matter what, but...

Jason ?

You, my friend,
are a tactical genius.

That's why I would not wanna
play chess with you.

Also because chess
is f*cking boring.

I have to say,
I broke into this house

under the promise that I was
going to see some crazy sh*t.

So far, pretty disappointed
in the both of you.

So where is she, huh ?

Where's the sexy cannibal ?

Jason ! Come here !
I got a good idea.

We should start a band called
Sexy Cannibals.

I'm the guitar and singer, obviously,
you play the drums,

Colin plays the bass, what's
her name plays whatever it is,

we go on tour, we play some f*ck'
shows, we sleep in the van...

it's not as creepy as it sounds,
and we f*ck' party.

And we'll party all the days...
long days.

What if no one goes
to our shows ?

Why wouldn't people go to our shows,
should be the question that you ask.

- I just bought a drum machine...
- Hey, guys ! Come here !

What ? No.
It's too far.

Okay, fine. Stay there.
Just don't touch anything.

Jason ? Get your axe.

Get your axe, Jason.

You be careful
with that thing, buddy.

Yeah.

Ready ?

Dad ?

- That's not good.
- Yeah, no sh*t.

I don't...

He's still breathing.

Okay, good !

I think he drank some
of that drug wine.

Yeah, no sh*t, Jason.
Come on. Help him up.

Dad ? Dad !

Roger ? Roger !
God !

- f*ck, I hate you.
- Let's move this table.

It's a fact,
my dad's an idiot.

Maybe he'll be fine
in a few hours or days.

That's hoping that psycho
doesn't mind having

a 200 pound moron sitting
in her living room.

Come on, dad.

He's heavy.

Yeah, he's 40 and all he does
is watch cartoons and eat.

- That's not working.
- Well, what then ?

Where are you going ?

I'm locking the door in case she comes
back. We're gonna have to hide him.

- Close that door.
- Fine.

What the hell ?

Oh, no ! Don't tell me you
wanna put him in there.

- I don't think we have a choice.
- f*ck !

Actually, we can do better than that.
That's not good.

Jason ?
Jason, just get the weapons.

Come on !

Come on, come on.

Ready ?

Oh god, I'm sorry !

Oh Jesus, I'm sorry !

You're gonna be sir,
I know first aid !

sh*t !

No, no, no !
Ok, we need to help him.

- Why ? Really ?
- Yes !

Oh, Jesus !

That was messed up.

- We gotta get dad.
- Okay.

- Come on.
- Yeah.

So we're gonna go home,
grab the van, pick up dad,

and get the hell
out of here.

Okay.

Get him...

- No, Summer. Please, I don't wanna...
- Shut up, we're doing this.

Oh my god.

- Come on.
- Let's squish it.

sh*t !

- Throw him in !
- Now ?

Come on, come on, let's go !

Summer ! Were those what
I think they were ?

I don't know, because to me
those looked like...

sh*t !
Come on, come on !

What ?
What is it, honey ?

What is it ?
Is that a rat ?

Drop it.

Dude, did you just smell
my hand ?

What ? No, I was just...
I was just sighing.

Colin ? Colin !
Lisa ?

Summer ? Summer !

Colin ? Lisa ?

Lisa !

Oh my god, I'm sorry.

I didn't like her or anything
but I didn't want her to turn into...

Colin !
We have to find Colin.

No, not again !

- I think I'm gonna puke.
- No ! What the hell ?

- I think she's one of them.
- Really ? What gave that away ?

f*ck !

- So, are we gonna...
- Seriously, Jason ?

Lisa might be a b*tch
but she's still my dad's girlfriend.

Maybe we can, I don't know,
save her, or...

I think when the blood's
black there's no going back.

Now's the time you decide
to develop a sense of humour ?

Sorry, I'm just trying to state
the obvious, here !

I'm sorry Miss...

I don't know what Lisa's
last name is !

Wait.

Lisa ?

Jason !

Oh my god !

I'm sorry !
Jesus !

- Jason !
- Get her off me !

This is so messed up !

sh*t !

Jason, Jason,
where are you going ?

Wait, wait !

Oh my god !

Holy sh*t !

- Colin !
- Get out of the way !

I've never done this before !

Holy sh*t ! What ?

Did I get her ?

- Colin, I thought...
- I know, I know.

The neighbour, she was here
and I was peeing but then I...

she was doing something
to Lisa and I got scared

and I ran away
and I heard you guys screaming

and then I came in and then
Lisa was acting all crazy

and then she was trying
to k*ll you guys so I just...

Did I just k*ll Lisa ?

Dude, it's okay, man.

- I think I peed my pants.
- Oh, gross !

Whatever, man. I mean, you're covered
in, like, blood and brains and sh*t.

So where's dad ?

What ?

- He's back at her place.
- You left him back there ?

What, is he dead, too ?

No, he's safe and we're going
back to get him.

- He's not dead, you hear me ?
- Why is he even there ?

He drank some of the drugged
wine and then he passed out.

f*ck !

That's not my house,
you know.

The cabin ?

No, the one you always pick
me up at.

The dump ?

Yeah. No, I actually... I live in
this big house on Berksley Street

and my parents are loaded.

Well, whatever man,
I mean mine are, too.

No, I mean they're money loaded,
not drunk loaded.

My dad's a d*ck and he treats
my mom like crap

and, you know, they're probably
getting a divorce.

This morning I left and I didn't
tell them where I was going

and now I might die

and I don't even know if they'll
really give a sh*t.

Whatever, man.

I mean, my parents
are divorced.

And who knows ? Maybe your
dad'll get an undead girlfriend

and you'll get to blow
her brains out, too.

Colin, what ?

I don't know, I'm nervous !
And I talk too much when I'm nervous.

Wait, so you lied to me ?

I'm your best friend and I tell you
the truth about everything...

Like that time
when I wiped my a*s

with Dave's toothbrush
because he cheated on magic.

I was just trying to fit in,
I guess.

By pretending to be poor ?

- That is so weird, man.
- It's... weird.

You know, your family,
it might look messed up

but you guys actually love each other,
like deep down somewhere.

You guys are more like
my real family, you know ?

You sensitive b*tch.

That was some seriously
deep sh*t, dude.

I love you, man.

You too, man.

Cute.

You know, Mr. Slade,
maybe he drinks too much

and he swears
and he's not very responsible...

He farts in my face
sometimes, but...

But he loves you guys, and he
actually gives a crap about me.

Well, enough to make fun
of me

and tell me when I'm getting
stepped all over.

So we're not gonna let some
crazy cannibal lady

take him away from us.

We're gonna go back there
and we're gonna mess her up !

She's not even that hot,
anyway.

So where'd you get the g*n ?

Just in here.
By the way, shotgun.

As in, shotgun the shotgun.

- Let's gear up.
- And blow some bros.

You're gonna blow
some bros, Colin ?

Blow up some bros.
You know what I mean.

Let's f*ck sh*t up !

Someone's ba*ls
just dropped.

This is a pretty
shitty weekend.

I'm gonna say it because all
we've been doing is walking up

and down this path, we've
seen some pretty disgusting sh*t

like blood and gore,
you know, and now it's snowing.

I got snow in my shoes, and...
I pissed my pants earlier

and you guys wouldn't let me clean it.
So f*ck you guys for that.

Sweeties !

Stop it. Stop it !
Get down.

- They're the bros.
- Yeah.

She fished them out of
the basement.

Don't make this harder
than it needs to be.

You're gonna pay for
what you did to Lisa !

Yeah !
We're gonna tell on you !

"We're gonna tell on you" ?

The cops don't know,
the cops don't care.

They'll never suspect me,
they're all sexist.

- f*ck !
- Split up !

You're out of your league, kids !

Alright, come on.
I want you to get them, huh ?

Go get 'em.
Go on, boys.

Go on.
Go get 'em, boys.

Go get 'em.

Do you have any snacks ?

I ate all my hot dogs
and I'm so f*ck' hungry.

- No, I don't have any snacks, man.
- f*ck !

Oh, goddammit,
Harold, stop it.

Come on, honey.

You go make me proud.
Make me proud, honey.

I got one !

Get down !

Oh, f*ck !

sh*t. sh*t !

Holy sh*t !

Check mate, biatch !

Yo, she-b*tch !

I got her !

- Disgusting !
- Guys ! Where's the neighbour ?

I don't know,
but let's go and get dad !

Yeah.

f*ck ! Now I got piss and blood
all over me.

What's with all the unicorns ?

f*ck unicorns !

- Where's dad ?
- Dad's under the stairs.

He's coming !

Who's coming ?

Summer. Who's coming ?

f*ck !

The f*ck is she talking about ?

Holy sh*t !

sh*t !

Jason, hold the door.
Colin, help me out here.

Okay.

Come on.

Okay, come on, come on.

Summer.
Summer, where's dad ?

- Where are we going ?
- Guys, where are you going ?

What're you doing ?
Guys ?

Shut up !

Creepy kids !

Hey, you guys look cool.

- What's up with the crack babies ?
- Dad, stay down !

Gross !
Dad, come on !

- Is that blood ?
- Yes ! Because f*cking dead !

What do you mean,
f*cking dead ?

- Is that... blood on you, too ?
- Dad, I need your help !

What happened to the room ?
Okay, why is there a couch...

- What ?
- Colin, help me bring it down.

- No, dad, I need you to help me !
- Just stop yelling.

Hey, Colin.

Come on,
bash her skull in !

You know I love you,
buddy, right ?

And I know I can act
dumb sometimes, right ?

I'm trying !

And I know I should probably
act more mature.

I just wanna be the fun dad.
You know, the cool dad.

Come on, Jason !
It's just a little girl !

But it's hard, you know,
your mother and I...

I just want you to know
that I...

I love you and your sister
very much.

- Okay, dad, we love you, too.
- Okay, good stuff. Good talk.

Summer, what did you do ?

- What did you do ?
- Dad, we gotta get out of here now.

- Where's Lisa ?
- Dad...

Lisa's gone.

What do you mean,
she's gone ?

She turned into one of those
and then Colin had to...

Colin had to what ?

Colin ?
Colin had to what ?

Look, dad, you can increase your
chances of meeting someone new

if we get out of here alive.

Yeah, alright.

- What is that ?
- Ok, dad, help me with the door !

- What the f*ck is that ?
- Help me with the f*cking door !

f*ck, I hate axes !

My babies !
What did you do to my babies ?

Colin, g*n !

- sh*t !
- I didn't reload it !

f*ck !

I liked Lisa,
you f*cking b*tch !

Dad ! Are you okay ?

She f*cking stabbed me !

f*ck off with the throwing
the knives !

- Is it bad ?
- You got stabbed !

- Yeah, it's bad.
- It's pretty bad !

Idiot !

Stay down !

I think we're done here.

Summer !
Summer, dad's hurt !

f*ck ! sh*t !

Oh my god, dad ! Don't worry,
we're gonna get you out of here !

- sh*t, he's losing a lot of blood.
- f*ck !

Summer, don't use that kind
of language, it doesn't suit you.

Car keys ! There's, like,
a ton of cars out there !

Alright, dad, dad, BRB.

- What does that mean ?
- Jason, stay with dad !

I gotta find something
to stop this bleeding.

Duct tape.
It really is good for everything.

Stay with me, Roger.
You're gonna be okay, alright ?

You called me by first name.

Power five.

You nailed it.

Dad, we got a car.

- Is it nice ?
- Yes.

- You always were my favourite, Colin.
- I hate you.

No you don't.

Dad !

Dad !

Dad !

Guys, let's go, now !

That was my family you just
k*lled, you little sh*t !

Ten years of feeding,
caring for them.

Do you have any idea
how hard it was ?

And did I get
any thank yous ?

No !
Not one f*cking thank you !

Oh, b*tch, you're so dramatic !

But they loved me !
They really loved me !

Who's gonna love me now ?
Who ?

Who cares ?

That was for Roger.

You shouldn't have messed
with my family !

Your dad was a piece
of sh*t.

Wait !

I got this.

Consider this the ultimate
power five, dad.

Let's get the f*ck out of here.

You drive.

Hi, mom !

DEAD SHACK