02x03 - Indie

[bunniefuu]

Hey, man.
Hey, mate, how's it going?

Yeah, brilliant, actually.

I've just come from my first
session of CBT therapy, so I'm...

Oh, that's good,
that you've started therapy.

Yeah, yeah, although
I've actually decided that was...

that was my last session. Oh, right.

Mm, yeah, that was...
That was ample, really.

And now I'm all good
and set up for life, so.

Great.

You OK?

Erm, look, man, I've got...

...good news and bad news. Er...

So, the good news...

Uh-uh-uh! Do the bad news first

and then do the good news
afterwards, a little pick-me-up.

A little CBT approach for you there.

I don't think it'll really...
No, honestly, man, please, just...

Bad news first, right?

Well, the bad news is that I'm not
going to ask you to be my best man.

What's the good news?

The good news is that
I'm getting married.

I wish you'd done it
the other way round.

Well, I did say that.

Hm, so if this is about me
calling your uncle a child m*rder*r,

then I'm sorry, but... Well, I
didn't know you'd called him that.

But no, it's...

I just feel that we've drifted apart
a bit the last few years and that...

I was in a relationship!

I know. But it's just weird to
have gone from, like, total silence

to you turning up at my door, asking
to stay in the spare room...

Oh, well, if that's such an issue
for you, Ross, then I'll leave!

Mate, you don't... I don't mind!

Look, you don't have to storm out.
That's mine.

You don't even have to move out straight away.
Right. I'll stay a few more weeks, then!

But I am storming out!

Although actually, I wanted to watch
Uni Challenge on there at half eight!

So would it be cool if you and your fiancee
let me have the living room for a bit? Yeah.

For half an hour.
So thanks very much!

If only friendships
were as simple as they used to be.

Any night of the week, you could
walk into the pub, see your mates,

and they'd be glad to see you.

Now, then! Eh-up? All right?

Bit dead in here today, innit?

Have you got it, then? Got what?
Have you got the 'Ula 'Oe?

Oh!

25 quid it's worth,
and you smashed it up like a psycho.

And then you said you'd replace it
three weeks ago,

and you still haven't!
No, cos I haven't got no money.

Craggy, I've known you
since I were four.

I'll buy you a new Hula Hoe
when I get my birthday money!

That ain't for weeks, is it?

I don't know what you're getting
so worked up about.

It's not just the 'oe, mate.

It's about going psycho,
smashing up a car.

Always coming pub with no money.

Always going on about your own
problems, but not listening to ours.

Always asking for a lift
but never paying for petty.

Just to play devil's advocate, you
do always let me use your lighter.

I mean, do you think
he set out the chairs this way?

I have no idea.

You all found the room
all right, then?

Yeah.

Um, bit surprised
you booked a function room

for just the five of us.

What's this about, mate?

This is an intervention.

An intervention for who?

For you lot.

Er, I'm not sure that's how
interventions work, mate.

That is exactly the kind
of unsupportive attitude

I've had enough of, OK?

I had a break-up, for f*ck's sake!

And where were all you
when I needed you?

Well, I called you
and you didn't pick up

and then I sent you a really long
message and you didn't reply.

Look, mate, you haven't really
been that available yourself.

I'm sure Coops feels that.

Yeah, where is Coops?

I'm right here.

But... Yeah.

Oh, my God, Ian, I'm sorry.

Look, don't deadname her, man! Iona.

Iona.

I don't know what to say, um...

I've been sitting in this room
the entire time

and you didn't even notice.

I've got a lot on my mind.

But, look, if there's anything
you need—support or...

It's been nearly been a year.

I'm doing fine.

Chill out, Craggy!

Bloody hell!

So which one of you gets to
be best man? Or woman?

I've divvied up
the role between the others.

Sam's going to do the speech.
Iona rings. Benjy the stag do.

And nowt for old Liam.

I'm sorry, man, but...

You know what?

I really hope
you enjoy your wedding day, mate.

BUT I WON'T BE THERE TO SEE IT!

And can I still have the living room
for Uni Challenge at 8.30?!

Are you not going to watch
Only Connect first?

Good point.
Can I have it at eight?!

It's all yours. You're a gent!

The frustration and bad blood
with Craggy and the lads

was offset slightly by the fact

I'd already set my sights
on a new group of mates,

a more sophisticated
and cultured set of people.

They'd come to Garforth sixth form
from Rothwell,

my ex-girlfriend Katie's old school.

They expressed their cultural
apartness with avant-garde

fashion statements, such as
jeans that were a bit too big

or jeans that were a bit too tight.

My lot had been quick
to label them...

Moshers!

But of course this was not
the same subculture

that had attracted the mosher slur
of a few years earlier.

This was Indie,
a new kind of music and fashion,

except really it represented

a re-appropriation of stuff
from the previous four decades.

Anyway, it's easy for me
to be cynical looking back now.

At the time I thought
it was f*cking exciting.

So this lot was my only portal

to an exciting new
musical and social horizon.

I'd eavesdrop
on their conversations...

Babyshambles are the band
The Libertines could have been!

I completely agree with that.

...write down bands they mentioned,

then go home and desperately try
to think of something original

to say about them.

♪ Killamangiro
by Babyshambles ♪

♪ Ohhh-oh oh ohhhh-oh ♪

♪ Ohh-oh oh oh oh... ♪

One day I built up the courage to
share a fiery hot take of my own.

And what you're hearing there
is a recording of a recording...

You know that Babyshambles single
you were on about?

Killamangiro? Killamangiro?

To me it sounds like a combo
of music hall, punk and the Kinks.

OK, might have got that one from
the Guardian Guide, to be honest.

That's a pretty good analysis.
Pretty good analysis.

I don't think we've met properly,
have we? It's Liam, innit?

I'm Huddsy.

I'm Dan. This is Leanne.

All right?

All the indie lot spoke with a drawl

but Leanne's was so pronounced that
it was usually impossible to tell

whether or not
she was being sarcastic.

Nice to meet yer.

You... You too.

See, thing is you don't
actually have to...

Excited though I was by the prospect

of having a conversation
about music culture

that went beyond how nice the arses
were in whatever music video

was most played on
MTV Base that week,

I did still kind of
miss the old lot.

Addy! Have you seen arses in
that new Christina Milian video?

Yeah.

Do you want to get lunch in a bit?

I'm actually off to meet
Craggy and Ralph at cafe.

OK, well, I'll come
if you just wait after...

I don't think
Craggy'd be up for that.

Is he still f*cked off
about that hoe?

Can't his dad just
buy him a new one?

Just apologise and replace the hoe.
Simple as that.

But he ain't going to be
pissed off for long.

It's my birthday in a few weeks.

Come then, we're all going to
meet up at Glebes bench at five

for some cans, like we always do,
and all this'll be forgotten, mate.

It had been a birthday ritual for
all four of us to meet at the bench

for several years,

starting with a spliff and
a few Panda Pops when we were 13

and progressing to a spliff

and a few Carlings—
the adult Panda Pop—by this point.

Eh-up?

You mates with that Addy guy?

He could talk for England,
him, couldn't he?

Yeah, if talking were
an international sport,

he could do it for England.

Yeah, man, he chats so much sh*t!

That must be
really annoying for you.

You used to go out with
Katie McAleer, didn't you?

Yeah! We went to Rothwell with her.

Yeah, I saw on MySpace.

Why did you all come here
instead of Rothwell?

Less chavs here. Not as many chavs.

Does she ever talk about me?

Don't see her that much,
to be honest.

She went to Art College in Leeds.

Yeah, since she went
to Art College in Leeds,

we don't see her that much.

Right, well...
Better get to History.

Have a nice day.

It's not...
that's exactly the point of it...

it's just wasted empty space.

Hey, man, sorry,
I was just wondering

how you're finding that T-shirt?
I was thinking of getting one.

Oh, yeah, good.

The sleeve construction
allows for pretty good movement

when you're running and stuff.

Oh, you're into running, are you?

Yeah, I'm just building up to a...
to a 10K.

Oh, cool! Harriet and I do a 10K
on the way home every night.

Oh, right, that's pretty convenient

that you live
exactly 10 kilometres from work.

Well, we actually live


and then we run 2K past the house
and then 2K back again.

To make it a 10K.

10Ks are great.

Yeah, sure. Um, weird Q. Um...

What are you doing tomorrow?

We're having our friend Poppies
round for lunch.

Poppy? Poppies. Plural.

Um, we're trying to cheer her up

because she's been a bit
unlucky in love recently.

Which is crazy
cos she is gorgeous. Gorgeous.

Anyway, you should come for lunch.
Sorry, what's your name again?

Liam, and, yeah, yeah,
that'd be great!

Awesome. Well, hey, we'll probs do
a 10K in the morning too beforehand

if you fancy?
Yeah, sure, 10K—I mean, OK.

My efforts to ingratiate myself
with the indie lot finally paid off

when they invited me to the pub.

He's missed nearly every shot
he's taken. Stop putting me off!

I bet you a quid he won't hit it.

Now, then, I'm just, er, meeting
some mates from sixth form

but I can come over and play
some doubles in a bit if you want.

No, you're all right. We've got
someone to play with, thanks. Who?

Old Reg, with dodgy knee.

He'll be along.

What's with clothes, then?
You a mosher now or summat?

No, I just got my birthday money
a few days early

so I could get some new gear.

Oh, right.

I thought you were going to spend
your birthday money on an 'Ula 'Oe?

Look, Craggy!
If it means that much to you,

you can have what's left
of my birthday money, right?

That's 11 quid there.

That's drinking money
to get me through tonight

and the birthday itself but do you
know what, mate? You can have it.

Oh, wait, there is...

...42p there an' all.

I don't like the sort of people
that come in this pub no more, me.

Oh, what, and you're
taking his side and all, are you?

I wouldn't have thought
you'd want to be on the same side

as someone who chats so much sh*t!

Addy, I was only joking!

Did I miss 'em?

Loads of quids here. They're mine!

You OK, Liam?

Yeah, yeah, sorry.

I think I just had, um,

an allergic reaction or something

to some of the grass
we ran past earlier.

Oh, no! God! Do you think that's why
you had to walk for so much of it?

Mm. Liam, this is Poppies.

Hey, Liam.

Hey, Poppies.

So, how was the 10K this morning?

Yeah, it was... Yeah,
one of the best 10Ks I've ever done

and I've done some pretty good 10Ks.

I just love 10Ks!

Why weren't you there this morning?

I've actually got an injury,
from doing too many 10Ks!

Oh, no! So when will you
be able to do 10Ks again?

The physio says
if I massage it regularly

I should be doing 10Ks again soon.

Oh, well, that's good. Yeah.

Only trouble is,
the injury's actually on my glute

and I can't reach it that well.

I kind of need someone else
to massage it for me.

♪ Open
by Rhye ♪

♪ I'm a fool for
the shake in your thighs ♪

♪ I'm a fool... ♪

Liam, would you like
some more prune juice?

Yes, please.

Wonderful.

Eh-up!

It was a shame
things were so fraught with the lads

but I was glad to have
my new group of friends.

It was just more exciting with them.

There was a sense that
anything could happen at any time!

I'm going to go to bar
if anyone wants another...

I used to have that jacket.
Huddsy used to have that.

Oh, yeah? Just got it.

Everyone were wearing it
down c*ck last year.

You guys hear
that new Kasabian album?

I love the drum sound, it's...

Guitar music for scallies.

Kasabian are shite.

I really liked it.

Did you? Me too.

I was being sarcastic.

Oh. Maybe you should go back
to wearing trackies

if you're into Kasabian.
Yeah, if you're into Kasabian,

you might as well get
the trackies back on.

You don't have to repeat everything
I say! Get your own opinions!

Anyone for another pint?

We've got a round going.

Kev!

I mean, a big state is
an unhealthy state, sure,

you know, but too much inequality
is bad for the economy.

What are... What are
you guys talking about?

Rob was arguing that corporation tax
should be lower and we're, like,

sure, cool, as long as it doesn't
harm fundamental infrastructure.

Sorry, are...

...are you guys...

...Tories?

Yeah.

You?

Thank you all for austerity!

You've got the blood of


and that's why
you're all going to hell!

And 10Ks are for wankers!

Oh, hi.

Y'all right?

Yeah, good.

Who is it, Katie?

No-one, Mam! Just...

...a mate! What you doing here?

I just came to say thank you
for the birthday text.

Well, you could have just replied.

I know, it's just always nicer
to have a face-to-face, innit?

Well, not really cos right now
I'm trying to watch Simpsons.

I didn't know you liked Simpsons!

It's not really a major facet
of my personality.

It's just Simpsons.

So, you all right?

Yeah. I've actually been seeing
your mates from Rothwell a lot.

You know, Huddsy and them.

Aren't really mates with them
no more. They never do owt.

Just sit around acting like
they're better than everybody.

Oh, right, yeah.

What's wrong with your mates?

Long story. Basically,
Craggy's fallen out with me

and the other two
have taken his side.

Right, well, you need to
sort it out with them.

Craggy's one of
soundest lads I've ever met.

Katie, Homer's just
bought a snowplough!

I'd better... Yeah.

Look, it'd be good to see you again
sometime. I've really missed you.

Well, I might see you at Rachel's


I didn't know you two were mates!

Our mums went to
same ante-natal clinic

and she's obsessed with us being
best mates when we were babies,

as if babies have best mates.

See you there anyway, and you better
talk to me cos I won't know no-one.

Course I will. But that's
not for another three month...

I'd better go.

It is funny
when Homer buys that snowplough!

♪ Over there there's friends of mine ♪

♪ What can I say...? ♪

On the back of the chat with Katie,

I decided to get a job
during the half-term holidays.

But with such meagre
availability on my side,

my CV didn't garner any interest.

Oi, word maggot!

What you doing, you sausage?

Listen to this.
Our Tin Head is going on Eggheads.

Really? What's your team?

Tin Head's Titans.

It's just me and four blokes I met
playing it box in Parlington.

You're going to meet your hero,
aren't you, mate?

What's her name again?

Judith Keppel.

Proper interesting old b*tch.

What were you telling me about her?

Judith's ancestors
include Eleanor of Aquitaine

and Henry II of England.

I don't usually approve
of aristocratic privilege but

woman's a genius.

What's the matter with you anyway,
word maggot?

You've got a face
like a slapped gooch!

Just looking for a job but
no-one's hiring just for half term.

I can get you a job for a week,
mate. Grafting down site.

Bit of cash in hand and that.

Can you? That'd be sick.

Yeah, man. We'll pick you up
Monday morning at seven, yeah?

Cheers, Rupert! I...
I really appreciate it, mate.

Let's go. C'mon.

So I really appreciate
you all being here, lads, and...

Ah, sorry, Iona.

It's fine.

Lads is basically
gender neutral these days.

So, there's an important lesson
I learned a long time ago

that I guess I've forgotten
a bit recently.

And that is that
friendship takes effort.

♪ Ohhh-oh oh ohhhh-oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh... ♪

Still on your first one,
word maggot?

♪ Ohhh-oh oh ohhhh-oh ♪

♪ Why would you pay ♪

♪ To see me in a cage? ♪

♪ And why would you pay... ♪

You've earned it!

♪ To see me in a cage? ♪

You know, true friendships are
becoming harder and harder to hold

down in this ever more pressured,
technologically addicted society.

But the good news is I've discovered
a new app called BuddyTime!

To create
a friendship schedule for us all.

What's that? Long story.

f*cking chavs.

Hey, that's out of order.

So out of order.

I've been meaning to ask you lot.
Have you heard of that new band

called, erm, Go f*ck Yourself
You Snobbish Fakers?

Nah. Any good?

It was a jo... Forget it.

Look, you lot think that you're
special and unique and misunderstood

but really you're all
just as image-obsessed

and exclusionary in your attitudes
as anyone else around here.

And what you don't understand

is that Rupert isn't just
some mindless yob.

Yes, sure he's got his flaws,

but he's also a decent,
hard-working,

respectful human being,

something you lot wouldn't
appreciate cos you're all just

a bunch of posing,
NME-dependent try-hards.

Wankers!

That is a shame.

Straight line and it's there.

I'm going to hit the other ball. No,
you aren't. It's right to side!

Are you stupid?

For your dad, Craggy.

You're all right.

Please, Craggy, just hear me out.

I'm honestly just
so f*cking sorry, mate.

I'm sorry that it's taken me
this long to do the right thing.

I've really missed you as a mate.
I've missed all of you.

Addy, I didn't mean what I said.

I was trying to
suck up to them pricks.

I love how chatty you are. Best part
of sixth form is chatting to you.

And Ralph, thanks for all the lifts.

I need you, lads.

All right, mate, don't go overboard.

We're obviously still mates.

I've known you since I were four.

Nice one, yeah. I'll, um...

I'll get a round in, yeah?

I've inputted a lot of data about
all of us and our lives

to create the optimum
friendship schedule

so if you all want to get your
phones out, get the app installed,

we can...
Actually, I can't do Tuesdays.

That's when Ellie and I
do wedding prep.

Well, maybe I can swap with you
because I am go...

No, no, no!
That's not going to work! Look!

So that is 12 hours of work
down the drain.

Thanks, Ross.

We'll have to start again. OK.

Ross can't do Tuesdays,

but can he do Wednesdays?

Erm... Yep.

OK, good start.

What are you doing? Sorry, mate,
but I've kind of got to go.

Neighbour's just told me
there's water coming through the...

Nobody leaves
until we've sorted this out!

We are friends and we are f*cking
going to stay that way! Sit down!

Who likes karaoke?

Look, man, if I make you
Best Man Without Portfolio

can we drop all this
Friendship Schedule nonsense?

Deal.

I actually love karaoke.

And so I was back where I belonged,
at least for the time being.

And if proper friendship
came at the price of

not being at the cutting edge
of alternative music, then so be it.

And also, within about three months

the new indie genre just turned out
to actually be completely compatible

with the kind of laddy, shouting
football chanting culture anyway

so it didn't really matter.

♪ I Predict a Riot
by Kaiser Chiefs ♪

Sick tune, this!

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I tried to get to my taxi ♪

♪ Man in a tracksuit attacks me ♪

♪ He said that he saw it before me ♪

♪ Wants to get things
a bit gory... ♪