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01x04 - Where Rovers Dare

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Road Rovers". Aired: September 7, 1996 – February 22, 1997.*
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One year prior, in Socorro, New Mexico, Professor Shepherd was forced to relinquish his experimental transdogmafier technology to General Parvo in exchange for having his kidnapped dog Scout returned to him, but Parvo refused to do so and destroyed his laboratory.

01x04 - Where Rovers Dare

Post by bunniefuu »

Barking, scratching, Frisbee, catching,

presidential pets. That's us. Changing to

the canines who drive suit up cars and

jets. Coming through. Tilk, sniffing,

toilet sip, and soaring through the sky.

I like it. Making drooling with the

fueling. Who says dogs can fly?Not me.

Speeding, crashing, k*lling, crashin,

vehicles explode. Chasing, racing

down the road.

Hunter is a hero hound Leader of the

pack Calling clubs from London Town

Watch your knee attack Exiles from

Siberia With super-fros in sight That's

me! With shoes on Trosperia His boxers

than his bite Shag is strong from head to

toe A coward through and through Muzzle

stack is gonna blow He's sure a screw or

two They fight for right both day and

night In every episode Let's roll! Now

it's time to

Centuries ago, the nations of Katzenstock

and Eisneria lived side by side in

peaceful coexistence. Their friendship

was epitomized by the golden bridge that

linked the two countries. But then came

w*r.

The two nations collapsed,

as did their golden bridge. And the peace

was washed away, apparently

forever.

The only surviving remnant of these

ancient days is the priceless scepter

of the valley, long enshrined in

Katzenstock's capital. But the scepter

has been... Stolen! Stolen by spies

from Eisneria! That's a lie!

We stole nothing! My people resent the

accusation! If Iceneria does not return

the scepter by noon tomorrow,

Katsinestock will have no choice but to

declare w*r! Then w*r it will be!

The Ambassador from the United States has

the floor! The U.S. wishes to assure the

General Assembly that as we speak,Some of

our finest operatives are looking for the

missing scepter.

And ten, Moon Doggy! Wrong

sport, auntie! Oh, then why is there surf

music?

IOB's in a bidet, Gemma.

Don't you kiss me. I will not. I will

k*ll you. Uh, don't do that either.

He's all right. Just in time.

Spark Russian comrades, they are right

behind you.

Let's hit the road, Chad. Oops,

the EPA's not gonna like this.

You're just a wealth of commentary today,

aren't you?Just trying to stay topical.

You know, ripped out of today's

headlines. Fear of Dank Rover

also ripped out.

Strap yourselves in!

Now!

We're home free, rovers.

I would not have predicted this. Your

predictions are consistently off. Oh,

you know this. Put it this way, the

psychic outline, you're not.

Put on your hat.

Jingle ba*ls, jingle ba*ls, jingle

all the ba*ls.

Oh, what jingle bells. Never heard of

them.

Oh, this is making me see red.

They'll be singing soprano into their



opera.

Hey, Blitz! How you doing there, muzzle?

You been here long?Yeah, my

tootsie-wootsies are all crushed a bit,

and how'd it go?Like taking candy from a

baby.

I'm very angry, Biby. Let's roll,

Rovers! But what about the biting of the

enemy?Not now, Blitz. We have what we

came for. And if we don't give this

sparkly back the cats and stock by noon

tomorrow, we'll have a real blooming w*r

on our hands. I love it when you talk to

me. Have we been introduced?Sure.

You know me. Oh, right.

Your name is. No, no, don't say it. Let

me think. Blister. No. Lighter.

Blitz. No, no, noThat's not it.

Bloated.

Oh, I definitely want one of those. Cool.

Me too. I'd

also like a parachute. Anything we can do?

Yeah, get ready to crash. Any other

suggestions?Yeah, I suggest we all

scream uncontrollably. Sounds like a

plan.

It's a little late to start writing your

memoir, Shag

Before we die, I just want you to know

that I love you. Please

consider therapy.

Actually, Hunter, that was one of your

better landings. Hey, thanks. That's

sweet.

Exile Radio Mission Control. We need

someone to come get us.

No can do, Hunter. Radio Sheikha Pudski.

Is someone coming to get us right now?

They went into the village, surround the

perimeter, and saw Jeffrey building.

They're around here somewhere.

How brilliant. The place is crawling with

rebels. We'll lay low tone nightfall. We

can sneak out once it's dark. Till then,

here, ShagGuard this with your life.

OK, guard it with Blitz's life, but guard

it. Hey, no way, mop boy.

All right, all rightGuard it with my

life. Where?

His argument was very persuasive, you

know.

Blinky. No, that's not it. Don't tell me.

I'll get it. I'm starting to hate this

bit.

Madam Ambassador, it's the Pentagon.

What's the outlook, General?Well, I just

lost radio contract with the Rovers. Oh,

no. Afraid so. We believe they were

shot down north of Katzenstock in

Eisneria, in the region of Ovitsnia.

We've sent in some planes for

reconnaissance, but so far no sign of

them. Isn't Ovitsnia controlled by rebel

guerrillas?That's affirmative. They're a

lethal group, led by a real troublemaker

by the name of Colonel Gustav Havok.

Idiots. Now let me get this straight. We

steal the scepter of the valley in order

to throw Katzenstock and Eisneria into

w*r, and then the scepter is taken from

us. by a pack of dogs?

They were talking dogs, sir. I don't

care if they were singing dogs. I don't

care if they were singing the theme from

Cats. I want that

scepter. Yes, sir. We have the Rovers

surrounded in the village of Flusk.

They'll never get away. I swear on my

life. I'll hold you to that promise,

lieutenant. Colonel Havik, the

Katsinchtoki Prime Minister is still

waiting on line two.

Stanislav, sorry. The phone keeps

ringing. What's the good word?I've

arranged the financing. Twenty-four

billion. Wonderful. Once the funds show

up in my Swiss bank account, the m*ssile

launchers will be delivered to you within



Isnerian ambassador is on line four.

Alonzo, baby, I've heard the news. What

can I do to help?That's why I've called.

We need your military support. Well,

sure, Lanzi, but it'll cost you. Our

treasury is at your disposal. Good.

Let me crunch some numbers with my money,

people. I'll get right back to you.

I love w*r. Whose side

are you on, Colonel?My side. I'll

sell to whomever pays my price. And after

I clean out their treasuries, I can sit

back and watch Katzenstock and Eisneria

blow each other to fear. After

which?I'll sweep in, pick up the

pieces, and leave.

Lieutenant?Colonel. sh**t anything

that moves. Just get me back that

scepter. Yes, sir. Ohh

Steady, Yanny. It's on the roof.

Sometimes they come down the mountain

looking for food.

There they go.

It was just a wolf. I swear I saw them.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Poor fella. He's been shot. Easy

now. Here's a goodie for you.

Someone get the first aid kit. This kid

needs help and fast.

Hold every building flattened. Demolish

the place. Why, Lieutenant?We'll

flush them out. Move it.

Antiseptic. Cotton.

Suture.

Clam.

Dear. All done. Nice work, Exile.

My pleasure. May I faint now?

Be my guest. Thank you.

All right, everybody. We're running late.

Grab a quick bite to eat and get ready to

move out.

There you go, Muzzle.

Hey, Blitz, you want a biscuit?Thanks.

You're welcome. No, thanks. Are you sure?

It's tasty. Try it. Thanks. You're

welcome. No, thanks. What's with you?You

want it or not?Thanks! You're

welcome! No, thanks!

Well, make up your mind!

Oh, thanks! Now I get

it.

Funny.

Let's hit the road, Rovers!

Hunter, do everything. Turn,

turn, turn! Hey, the Byrds did that tune,

Exile. I love that song. Turn!

Khalid, I think that one was JanisJoplin.

No, Shag we're not making a pit stop now.

Hey, see what you can get on the radio,

Exile. This is Road Rovers calling

Mission Control. Come in, Mission

Control. Oh, I was thinking of some

music, but that's cool, too.

Everybody out!

Huh

Yet another unexpected twist.

Bummer!

We have located the Rovers, Colonel

Havoc. I'm not blind. I can see that,

Lieutenant. Hand over the scepter,

dogs. Never, Havoc.

I'm afraid you really have no choice.

Can't we all just get along?Give it to

me now! I would have it, but I'm afraid

my friends wouldn't be very pleased.

Huh

Awaiting orders, Candel. Just

get in the chopper and get us out ofhere.

Good news, Mission Control. We found the

Rovers and they have the scepter.

Thanks for our help. Thanks for yours,

mate. Cry havoc and let's slip

the dog for w*r. Yeah, what he

said.

Jolly good job, Blintz.

Uh, close enough. To the power of the

pack.

And so w*r was averted between

Katzenstock and Eisneria. And to

celebrate their renewed friendship,

Katzenstock returned the scepter of the

valley to its original place of honor,

where it had rested years ago.

to a future of friendship. Ohh

The nations were once again united in

peace, and the region became known as

the happiest place on Earth, thanks to

the Road Rovers. They're

good. Good dogs.