01x01 - Take Two

[bunniefuu]

♪ Dubstep music

♪

WOMAN: Help!

[WHIMPERS]

[MUFFLED SCREAM]

Stacey, I'm Detective McNair.

I'm here to take you home.

- [MUFFLED SCREAM]
- It's gonna be okay.

♪

[g*n c*ck]

MAN: I knew you'd come, McNair.

Hands.

♪

Let her go, Vlad.

You have me as a hostage now.

I'm greedy.

I'm gonna take you both.

Now, put the g*n down.

♪

Kick it over.

♪

Aah!

[g*nshots]

♪

I'm greedy, too.

For justice.

♪

[DOOR BUZZES]

Looks like they're kicking me out.

We're all about the tough love.

Here are your papers for the court

saying you completed your rehab,

and the stuff you came in with.

Ah!

The outfit that trended.

Hashtag, no underwear.
Hashtag, no dignity.

Hashtag, no memory.

Now that you're leaving,

I have to tell you, I'm a huge fan.

I loved you in "Hot Suspect."

I wish they hadn't cancelled the show.

You know what they say
behind that door...

you have to accept the things
you cannot change,

without the pills and booze.

We're all rooting for you, Sam.

[BRANDI CARLILE'S "HAVE YOU EVER" PLAYS]

♪ Have you ever wandered
lonely through the woods ♪

♪ And everything there
feels just as it should ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ You're part of a life there ♪

♪ You're part of something good ♪

♪ If you've ever wandered lonely
through the woods ♪

[SCOFFS]

- ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh
- Let's go.

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ If you've ever wandered

- ♪ Lonely through the woods
- [CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

♪

SYD: So, 60 days of sobriety,

how are you feeling?

SAM: Naked and afraid.

I need to put all this behind me, Syd.

I need to work.

- Is there any work?
- I'm sorry, Sam,

but after everything you did,

no one wants to risk hiring you.

Syd, I got dumped by my fiancé
on the red carpet,

the same week my show got cancelled.

So, yeah, I lost it.

Does everyone forget that
I showed up for 15-hour days

- every day for eight years?
- Yes, they forget.

But, breaking into your ex-fiancé's house

and lighting his bed on fire,

they remember.

Syd, if I can't act,
what am I supposed to do?

Reach into my bag.

There's a script

by this hot young writer-director.

He wants you. "A Kiss for m*rder."

They want me to play the P.I.?

This is your ticket back.

But you absolutely
cannot screw this up, Sam,

or you're done.

I'm done screwing up.

In fact, I'm going to be
the best private investigator

to hit the screen in decades,

friggin' Oscar-worthy.

Syd, didn't you used to date a P.I.?

♪

KILLEN: I love the view.

It's like being god
looking down from Mt. Olympus.

I prefer the street, myself.

That's why I hired you, Mr. Valetik.

So, have you found
my stolen Margatti Supercar?

As a matter of fact, I did.

The thief was keeping it

in a storage space in Long Beach.

He paid cash. Nearly untraceable.

Do you know who took it?

Yeah.

You did.

Me?

Why would I steal my own car?

I asked myself the same thing.

Guy's rich, doesn't need
the insurance money.

But then...

then I noticed the damage
to the front end.

You reported the car stolen
the afternoon of May 9th.

Where were you that morning at 2:19 A.M.?

I was home, asleep.

Oh, I checked flight records.

Your private jet landed
at Burbank at 1:57 A.M.

You know what happened 20 minutes later?

An unidentified motorist

struck and k*lled Dean Copeland.

He was 17 years old,

in a hit and run
less than three miles away.

Hey, pal, I don't know what you're thi...

I'm not your pal.

You couldn't get the car fixed

without attracting attention,

so you hid it.

But you had to keep up appearances.

You had to explain why it was missing.

You even hired a detective
to complete the picture.

Except you hired the wrong one.

John Killen, you are under arrest

for vehicular manslaughter
and felony hit and run.

I swear to God, I will destroy you.

Get in line.

Boys.

You have the right to remain silent.

♪

So, how'd it go?

I don't think Mr. Killen

will be paying the balance of his bill.

You couldn't wait and bust his a*s

till after we got the check?

Then maybe we could buy new computers.

What's wrong with the ones we have?

They worked when we got 'em.

Yeah, so,

we got a new missing persons
in the conference room,

and there's someone in your office

who says she's an old friend?

♪

Uh-oh.

Nice to see you too, Eddie.

Really? 'Cause the last time you saw me,

you told me to go to hell.

Looks like you took it to heart.

What do you want, Syd?
I have a meeting waiting.

Remember that favor you owe me?

I was wondering when you'd call that in.

You know my client, Sam Swift?

The tabloid train wreck?

What's the trouble now?
Blackmail? Sex tape?

No. All that's behind her now.

- Then what do you need me for?
- There's this role.

Private investigator. Former cop. Noble.

Fights for the underdog,
used to be the best.

Sound familiar?

A ride along with an actress?

She wants her performance
to be authentic.

Mnh-mnh. I'd rather swallow razor blades.

- Eddie.
- Nope.

Eddie! This is my ask.

Full access to your process
for Sam for a week.

The producers will even pay you.

And from what I hear, you
could probably use the money.

Not that much.

Syd, I take what I do seriously.

All right? The people that come here,

they put their trust in me.

I'm not about to risk
what is left of my business

to babysit a spoiled, overprivileged,

out-of-control ego!

- She's behind me, isn't she?
- SAM: Yep.

And I haven't needed a babysitter

since I was 10.

Oh, right. I'm sorry.

At your age, they call them sponsors.

Syd, you didn't tell me he was hilarious.

Sam, Eddie. Eddie, Sam.

Why don't you two get to know each other?

Mm. [SIGHS]

You're doing this. Come on, Syd.

And then, we're even.

Oh, and Eddie,
try not to sleep with her, too.

♪

So, I take it you don't like actors.

No, no. I like actors.

Actors are hard-working,
they're talented,

they're under-appreciated and underpaid.

What I don't like are stars.

Oh, come on, Eddie.

Everyone likes stars.

That's why they're stars.

Not me. I've worked for them.

They think because they are
rich and good-looking

that the rules don't apply.

See? That's the genuine
screw-you attitude

that I wanna study.

[CHUCKLES] Hey, she looks just like you.

Uh, missing person
in the conference room's

- still waiting.
- Well, tell him I'll be right there.

- We have a case?!
- No.

I have a potential client.

You can just wait here.

Wait, are you kidding?

I came here to learn, not wait.

This is perfect!

I can be in on an investigation
from the beginning...

get to know how you think, you know,

how you... how you work,
crawl under your skin.

My skin is already crawling.

Wait.

I could've sworn Syd said full access.

Okay, fine.

Here's the rule... no talking.

You want to act? Act invisible.
You're a ghost.

A fly on the wall. You got it?

Invisible ghost fly. Got it.

♪

Uh, boss? Something I should know?

Yeah, I'm gonna need more antacids.

What's the client's name? Karl Rainey.

Please, God. Let this one be simple.

Mm.

What's the rule?
Don't talk. Be invisible.

♪

Mr. Rainey, I'm Eddie Valetik.

- Thanks for coming in.
- Thank you.

I'm sorry, aren't you...

Sam Swift.

I'm observing Mr. Valetik for a new role.

But I... I assure you, Mr. Rainey,

everything you say here
will be confidential.

Now, how can I help you?

It's my daughter.

I think she may have been m*rder*d.

♪

♪

RAINEY: This is Lynette.

She's a junior
at the University of Louisville.

She's a great kid,
straight-A student, everything.

Well, what was she doing in L.A.?

She had some interviews

for internships, media companies.

I don't know the names.

She called us when she got
to the rental room

just to let us know she was okay.

She was due back in Kentucky
two days ago.

And we waited at the airport, but...

Well, so, what makes you think
she's been m*rder*d?

We haven't heard a word from her in days.

She knows how we worry.

You contacted the person
she was renting a room from?

The guy said she went out one day

and just never came back.

Left all her stuff.

SAM: Have you spoken to the police?

They took a statement.

Said they'd be in touch

when they assigned a detective.

I don't want to wait.

That's smart.

The first 48 hours
are the most important.

Mr. Rainey, does Lynette
know anyone in L.A.?

Maybe friends, relatives?

No.

Oh, and when I went to the rental,

I found this.

♪

She never goes anywhere
without that thing.

I thought maybe there was a clue in there

about where she went, but...

It's locked.

Yeah, and I don't have the passcode.

Something's happened to her.
Something bad.

Can you please help us
find out what it is?

Mr. Rainey...

Don't worry, Mr. Rainey.
We're on the case.

If your daughter's out there,
we'll find her.

I promise.

♪

We'll be in touch.

What part of invisible
do you not understand?!

You got to admit, those were
some pretty good questions.

But then, you know, I've done

hundreds of those interview
scenes on the show.

Except this wasn't a scene!

He's not an actor.

He's a real father,

whose real daughter is missing!

Yeah, my point exactly. He was hurting.

He needed someone to tell him
that it'll all be okay.

Except we don't know
it'll be okay, do we?

His daughter may in fact be dead.

It's very possible we may never find her.

In this business, you never
promise anyone anything.

Well, no wonder business sucks.

Why would anyone want to hire you?

Because I tell them the truth,

that we will do our best.

But you? You promised we'd find his girl.

So, now, I have to deliver.

Well, I'm the one who made the promise.

So we have to deliver.

Come on, it'll be great.
It'll be like we're a team.

We're not a team.

- Berto.
- BERTO: Yo, what's up?

Here.

Subject's phone is locked.

See if you can crack it.

And this is what we know about her.

I want you to do
a full social media workup.

I want to know who she was talking with,

who her followers are,
any recent unusual activity.

- Got it?
- Okay, uh...

but it looks like we got

a lot of unusual activity right here.

Eddie, where are you going?
To Lynette's rental room?

Will you hold up?!

EDDIE: I gotta ask you, why are you here?

After playing a cop for eight years,

I'd think you'd have this down.

Cop, yes.

P.I., no.

You work outside the system.

You're like the modern-day
cowboys of the law.

And as an actor, the more real I can be,

the more the audience

understands and relates to my character.

It's all about finding authenticity.

Like on your show, "Hot Suspect"?

- Exactly.
- Really?

Because none of the cops I know

wear designer clothes
and five-inch heels.

♪

[CHUCKLES]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

What are you? Invisible.

And if you say anything? You'll sh**t me.

Like I told her father,

she booked a room for a week.

And after about three days,

she took off and never came back.

- Sorry, do I know you?
- EDDIE: No.

Now did she, uh, tell you
why she was in town?

Um, I try to leave people alone.

They pay for the room,

- not for my company.
- EDDIE: Yeah.

EDDIE: Did you notice
anything out of the ordinary?

Any recent visitors, unusual activity,

- nervous behavior?
- No.

She seemed like an ordinary...

college girl.

- Can you, uh, excuse me for one second?
- Mm-hmm.

♪

- What the hell are you doing?
- You told me not to talk.

So instead you thought
we should play charades?

I know you don't respect me,

but I'm actually good at what I do.

- Annoying me?
- Acting.

I've studied thousands

- of subtle physical shifts...
- [SCOFFS]

...that convey a character's
emotional state.

Look. See how his shoulders
are around his ears?

He's protecting his jugular.

People do that
when they're hiding something.

And if his eyes indicate anything,

it has to do with that room over there.

Eddie, no joke.

♪

Sorry about that.

Um, so, which room...
which room was Lynette's?

- The guest bed, down the hall.
- Hmm.

You mind if we take a look?

♪

Nothing!

[SIGHS] I could've sworn...

♪

That's a cute bear.

What's his name?

♪

Pervy?

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

Where is she?

What'd you do to her? Nothing!

I just... I just watched her!

That's all I ever do. I just
make videos and I watch.

I don't know what happened to her,

but I swear to God
I had nothing to do with it!

I want the files.

All of them.

EDDIE: There she is.

SAM: I told you he was hiding something.

- Admit it, you're impressed.
- You are aware

I would've searched her room
anyway, right?

Wow. You kick puppies, too?

What are we looking for, anyway?

What all detectives look for...

something out of the ordinary,
something unusual.

Like that.

She's looking at the back
of a local weekly,

a classified section.

So, who'd she call?

Well, we need to enhance it.

[SIGHS] You can't enhance
video resolution.

It's scientifically impossible.

Our show did it all the time.

And each time, it is moronic.

Would you like to know how
we do it in the real world?

Watch her hand move, all right?

See that? Now you just follow the pattern

on the face of the phone. I see it.





An escort service?

Wait, Lynette was a good girl
just out of farm country.

She was a straight-A student.

What would she be doing
calling an escort service?

Maybe her dad didn't know her
as well as he thought.

But now...

we know where to find her.

Wait, no we don't.
There was no an address.

Oh, wait. You know this place?
You seem shocked.

I mean, I figured,
you know, a guy like you...

good-looking, employed...
wouldn't need to...

What? Pay for it?

It's sad, right?

But, you know, sometimes,
being a modern-day cowboy,

I get so lonely.

And I just need a little warmth,

the comforting touch of a woman.

Yeah.

♪

That, or maybe I know it
because I'm a P.I.,

and it's not the first time
a girl's run away to there.

Oh...[LAUGHS]

Right.

♪

SAM: Seriously? Here? It's
an expensive neighborhood.

I actually know three producers

that live up the street.

Oh, hey. Maybe you'll
see one of them inside.

That'd be awkward.

Yeah, she came here last week.

Not about a job.

Well, what then?

Listen, Eddie,

our friendship only goes so far.

Yeah, well, what can you tell me, Mads?

She was looking for someone.

Ricky Jenson.

Local muscle we sometimes use
to protect the girls.

He's street, knows how to hurt people.

Not someone your gal should know.

- What'd she want from him?
- Wouldn't say,

so I chose to be unhelpful.

Well, maybe you can be helpful to me.

You know where I can find this Ricky guy?

♪

I need him, I call my people,

he shows up.

But, uh, try
the Crown Ridge Hotel downtown.

♪

SAM: So, what I don't understand is

why is a straight-A student
from the Midwest

trying to track down
some L.A. street thug?

I don't know, but whatever
happened to Lynette,

this Ricky guy's involved.

♪

BERTO: I just got off with
Lynette's father.

He's never heard of Ricky Jensen.

So I ran a search on
all her social media.

There's no mention of
a Ricky Jensen in any of it.

It's all about school activity.

Nothing about a media internship

- or why she was in L.A.
- How about her phone?

With a million combinations,
that can take a couple days.

But I was able to pull up
a mugshot of Ricky Jensen

from public records.

Texting that to you now.

Maybe he's out.

[DOOR RATTLES]

EDDIE: Lucky us.

You're actually gonna pick the lock?

I never got to do that.

We always had to wait for a warrant.

You do know you weren't a real cop?

And yet, I was voted
Most Trusted Cop in America

by People magazine two years running.

♪

What are we looking for?

Anything that could give us
a bead on Lynette.

Got it.

Metaphorical bread crumbs.

Looking for a trail of... blood!

Oh, my God. That's a lot of blood!

♪

Ricky Jensen.

♪

Guess he was home.

♪

[SIREN WAILS]

I'm guessing this is
your first real dead body?

Yeah, the ones I'm used to seeing

usually get up and go to lunch

when the director yells, "Cut."

Valetik!

Which dubious event
do you wanna explain first?

How you just happened
to stumble on to a dead guy,

or what Ms. Clickbait
is doing at my crime scene?

SAM: Actually, I'm trying to get away

from the whole, you know,
drunk, no underwear thing.

That's why I'm following Eddie.

It's for a new role. I'm Sam Swift.

Yeah, I know who you are.

You wanna tell me about the dead guy?

His name came up on a job,

so I came by to ask a few questions.

- EDDIE: Never got the chance.
- What's the job?

- Missing person... check.
- Simple background check.

Really? Background check.
That's what you're going with?

Yeah, for now.

[ENGLISH ACCENT] Oh, my God.

You're Sam Swift.

I am a huge, huge fan.

I love, love, love your show.

"I'm greedy too. For justice."

I'm sorry. Sorry.

Sam, this is Mick English.

He's an M.E. with
the L.A. Coroner's office.

Ah, the true unsung heroes of justice.

That's brilliant.

You know, back when you were
doing all the...[SNIFFS]

I just thought the only way I'd meet you

was on my table.

But here you are, alive!

Yay!

So what the hell are you doing
with this moody stiff here?

CHRISTINE: She's following him
for a new role.

Hey, Mick, it's her first dead body.

Why don't you show her how a real
crime-scene examination's done?

- Really?
- Are you kidding?

I'd be honored.

♪

So?

Long, long story, Chris.

I'll tell you about it later.

Tomorrow night? My date cancelled.

Happy to sub in.

Well, until then,
whatever you're working,

you should move her off this case.

- Why?
- Your dead guy?

He's got a rap sheet a mile long.

Word is he worked for Deacon.

♪

Last thing you need

is some fake cop getting you real k*lled.

♪

All right, Detective McNair.

From the looks of these wounds,

where do you suppose
the sh**ter was standing?

Trick question.

There's powder marks on his shirt.

He was shot point blank.

And he probably knew
the person who shot him

to let him get that close.

Well, uh...

Um, very good, yes.

Well, you can't make 200 episodes

without picking up a thing
or two along the way.

Well...

let's see what secrets
these wounds have to offer.

Hey, Mick, can you tell
how old a tattoo is

by looking at it?

- You mean that one?
- Yeah.

Yeah, it's much more faded
than the others.

I'd say it's at least five years older

than all of these.

Huh.

EDDIE: We gotta go. Ooh!

Oh!

- Where are we going?
- I'm taking you home.

You can follow me on another
case, just not this one.

That what your cop girlfriend
told you to say?

- Who? Detective Rollins?
- Yeah.

- You two got a thing going on.
- No.

Look, my sex-vibe radar is infallible.

Remember? Body language.

Well, it's wrong this time.

Okay, it's wrong this time.

Sam, stop. This is serious.

You ever hear of a guy called Deacon?

Wait, cops on my show
used to whisper about him.

Said he controlled half of L.A.

But no one knows who he is.

That's who Ricky Jensen
was working for...

the most dangerous guy in the city.

This isn't just
a missing persons anymore.

This is organized crime, m*rder.

And I don't want to see you...

get hurt.

Or worse.

That's sweet, Eddie.

But I'm pretty sure
that Deacon isn't our k*ller.

I know why Lynette
was looking for Ricky Jensen.

♪

Childhood sweethearts.
So, how'd you know?

A tattoo with both of their initials

over Ricky's heart.

It's classic, a tragic love story.

"Romeo and Juliet," "West Side Story,"

where... where the good girl
falls for the bad boy

and hides it from her parents.

It's a total Lifetime movie!

Ricky was in Tinsel Town
surrounded by temptation.

Lynette finds out
he's fallen for someone new.

She comes out here to end it
by k*lling him.

Wait, can I see Lynette's phone?

♪

- What are you doing?
- Being an actor,

putting myself in the character's shoes.

I'm a lovesick girl,
hiding my true feelings.

I'd want something to remind me
of my secret love

every day.

Like making my phone password...

Your boyfriend's birthday.

♪

How did you know his birthdate?

Mick's M.E. report.

Hey, I'm kinda good at this!

- She kinda is.
- Yeah, yeah.

Except there's one giant flaw
in your theory.

Lynette didn't k*ll Ricky.

The hotel clerk told the cops

Lynette was there two days ago.

I've been around a lot of bodies,

and Ricky's been dead longer than that.

He was already gone when she got there,

which means there's
something else going on here.

Someone reset the phone.

It's been totally wiped...
no photos, no e-mails.

Why would Lynette reset her phone?

Maybe she had something on there

- she didn't want anyone to see.
- Hang on.

It looks like some texts came in

after the phone was reset.

♪

[CELLPHONE BEEPS]

"I got what you asked,
but it's gonna cost.

You have the money?"

"Yes. Where do we meet?"

"Pier. One hour."

Look at the timestamp.

It's right after she saw Ricky,
the day she disappeared.

"I got what you asked."

What do you think she meant?

There's only one way to find out.

♪

_

_

_

_

♪

That's our guy.

Stay here.

Are you kidding?
This is why I'm following you.

To fully immerse myself
in moments like this.

It's too dangerous.

You're gonna have to "immerse" from afar.

Here.

Watch through the binoculars.

But above all, you stay.

- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
- What the...

Did you just take my picture?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

On Lynette Rainey's phone,

Which makes you a prime suspect
in her disappearance.

If the cops get ahold of this...

Whoa.

Don't make this worse, kid.

You got the wrong idea.

I don't even know her.

You met with her a few days back.

That was strictly a business transaction.

- What'd she want?
- First...

who's your friend?

♪

EDDIE: Next time, I'm just cuffing
you to the steering wheel.

Eddie, I didn't know you were kinky.

What did Lynette want
from that guy, anyway?

So Lynette finds Ricky dead,

and the first thing she does
is she texts this thug

for a burner phone and a g*n.

She's planning on going after

her boyfriend's m*rder*r.

She's gonna get herself k*lled!
We have to find her!

Well, we don't have a lot to go on.

Well, what about
the burner phone he sold her?

You got the number.
We can trace it, right?

Another TV fantasy trope. No, it's not.

Cops can triangulate

- cellphone calls to cell towers.
- Yeah, well, I'm not a cop.

And even a cop would need a warrant,

which in real life,
it takes a helluva lot longer

than a commercial break.

I can get it traced.

You? Ha. No, you can't.

Oh, yes I can.

I have a friend.

Oh, really? You have a friend.

What kind of friend do you have?

Uh, he was a consultant on my show,

who works in Homeland Security.

We became close.

Very, very, very close.

He can track it easily.

Forest? Hi. It's Sam.

Oh, I know. I miss you, too.

Listen, I have a small favor to ask.

Can you track a phone signal for me?

This is it.

Forest says that the burner signal's

coming from inside.

Does your friend know he broke

about 11 federal

- and state privacy laws?
- Oh, please.

You're just mad that I have

- better sources than you.
- No.

I'm mad, because you think
the rules don't apply to you.

Not all rules.

I just ignore the stupid ones.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have
gotten to where I am.

Where are you going? Stay here.

Have you met me?

♪

♪

♪

SAM: Eddie. Come here.

♪

Take a look at this.

♪

[g*nsh*t]

Drop the g*n if you wanna live.

Maybe I should've stayed in the car.

♪

EDDIE: Easy. Easy, Lynette.

We're on your side.

♪

Wait.

Are you Samantha Swift?

From TV?

Oddly enough, yes.

And I swear, we're the good guys.

♪

When his dad abandoned him, Ricky was 16.

He did what he had to do to survive.

A few months ago,

we decided we were gonna run away,

start over together.

- That man he was working for...
- Deacon?

You don't leave his organization alive.

But Ricky figured out
Deacon's real identity.

He thought that unmasking him
was the only way out.

But he knew he needed evidence.

What evidence?

Financial records

covering all Deacon's ill*gal deals,

kept in a cabinet safe

in his basement wine cellar.

Ricky found the combination.

All he had to do was get those books,

and we'd be free.

Only, Deacon found him first.

- Did Ricky tell you who Deacon is?
- No.

He thought it would put me
in too much danger.

But they know about me now.

They're gonna come after me.

We need to go to the police.

You don't get it.

He owns the police.

There's only one thing I can do.

Find him and k*ll him myself.

Lynette, if you go after him,
they'll k*ll you.

I'm gonna end up dead anyway.

At least this way,

that man pays for what he did to Ricky!

What about your family?

They're worried about you.

What are you talking about?

Your dad. He hired us to find you.

That's not possible.

My dad's dead.

Oh, God. We led them here!

[g*nshots, BOTH SCREAM]

That way, that way!

[g*nshots]

♪

LYNETTE: You trapped us!

Get down. Get over there. Get over there.

♪

♪

Stop. It's him!

- Who?
- The fake dad!

Okay, listen. Shh.

♪

- [CELLPHONE RINGTONE PLAYS]
- What the hell?

- Turn that thing off!
- I'm trying!

[g*nshots]

The man's an agent. Come on.

- What?
- Get up. Get up. Let's go.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

♪

[BOTH SCREAM]

EDDIE: Go, go, go!

[g*nshots]

♪

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[ENGINE REVS]

♪

All right. I think we're good.

You think we're good?

You almost got me k*lled.

Hey, Lynette. Wait!

Lynette, wait!

Hey, hey. Don't do this alone.

Let us help you. I've seen how you help.

I'm gonna finish this on my own.

[SIGHS]

Well, at least we found her.

Yeah.

I should've seen it.

You know why I didn't?

Because I was keeping an eye on you

instead of the client.

And what the hell were you thinking,

answering your phone
in the middle of a gunfight?

I was trying to silence it
so we didn't get shot.

- [SIGHS]
- It was Syd, by the way.

When I didn't answer, she texted.

The financiers backed out on my movie.

[SCOFFS, LAUGHS]

Great, great.

So all this time with you on my heels,

and I don't even get paid?

I knew this was a lousy idea.

[LAUGHS]

Seriously?

After everything,
that's what you care about?

You know, Eddie, you really put the d*ck

in detective.

♪

♪ I am standing in my bare feet ♪

♪ Watching you

♪ Drive away

♪ Last night keeps running
through my head ♪

♪ And how I feel now

SYD: Hey.

♪ I just can't say

I liked it better when I was a hero.

[CHUCKLES]

- I'm sorry about the movie.
- The movie?

I'm more upset about Lynette.

- Who?
- The missing girl.

Only she wasn't missing.

She was planning to hunt down the man

who k*lled her fiancé.

But now his people are after her,

and she's gonna get herself k*lled!

Seriously? That's a movie.

Except it's not.

It's real.

And you know, for the first time

in a long, long time,

I felt something real, you know?

Like... like I was actually
helping someone.

Like what I was doing mattered.

And I was good at it.

I'm confused.

Are you saying that
you want to quit acting

and become a P.I. now?

No. No, I just...

♪

The City Clerk's office.

♪

Syd, I gotta go.

I gotta go. I just solved the case.

SAM: Eddie? If you're in there,
I need to talk to you!

EDDIE: What?

Is that Detective Rollins?

I knew it. See, my radar is never wrong.

Is that what you came over here
to tell me?

No. I had a revelation... about the case.

There is no case, remember?

It's a police matter now.

What about Lynette? We can't
let her get herself k*lled.

CHRISTINE: I'll be going now.

- Eddie. Sam.

Aw, Chris.

Oh, it's okay.

We were pretty much done.

[SIGHS]

This better be great.

SAM: The combination Ricky wrote down...

look what he wrote it on.

It's not just a scrap of paper.

It's a file request form
from the City Clerk's office.

Yeah, I saw that.

Okay. So what's at the Clerk's office?

Public files. Police reports.
Arrest records.

What if no one's been able
to find out who he is

because Deacon is a cop himself?

What if Ricky was combing
through these files

trying to find some kind
of pattern to reveal him?

Don't you think I thought of that?

Well, then what are we waiting for?

We know Ricky found him.

- We just have to follow his trail.
- For what?

We have no client. There's no case.

What about Lynette?

We can't just abandon her.

We can't help her either
if she won't let us.

Trust me, Sam.

"No good deed goes unpunished"

is a universal truth.

Is it?

Or is this about you,

what happened three years ago?

Marnie Stahr.

Like I said, I do my research.

I read the reports.

They all said it wasn't your fault.

♪

Well, that doesn't matter.

I was hired to protect her, and I didn't.

And to punish yourself,
you started saying no.

You went from the top P.I. in town

to only taking small jobs.

[SIGHS]

♪

You are just like me, Eddie.

You need a shot at redemption.

♪

Except in the real world,

there are no fairy tale endings.

Trust me.

I know, and so do you,

that whatever we try to do here,

chances are, it is not gonna end well.

We know it won't end well
if we do nothing.

Is it a risk? Yeah.

But I would rather risk everything

for a shot at justice

than risk nothing and be nothing.

So what's it gonna be? Give up,

or are you gonna listen
to your better angels

and make a difference in the world?

Wow.

That's a powerful speech.

♪

Of course, I liked it better

when you gave it
to your suicidal partner.

Was it at end of season three?

You know, when you were hunting
down that murderous clown.

[LAUGHS]

Fine. It's the same speech.

But it doesn't mean that it's not true.

Wait, hold... hold on a second!

The only way that you would
know that speech

is if you watched the show.

You're a fan!

Hold on. You are a big fan!

No. Stop. Oh, my God, Eddie!

- Come on.
- That's so cute!

- Shut up.
- You're a fan!

Oh, my God.
Is it exciting that you know me?

Berto, I need you to do some research.

Berto, he's a fan!

BERTO: These are copies of all the files

Ricky Jenson requested.
Not just police records,

but warrants and court cases.

I ran a few of the subjects' names...

drug dealers, prostit*tes, drug runners.

All have some link to Deacon's
criminal organization.

And other commonalities in the files?

How 'bout same detectives
working the case?

All the cops were different, but
there was something the same.

Look at who signed the warrants?

Superior Court Judge Noah. B. Chambers.

Now look at who tried the cases.

Chambers.

Half the trials ended
in reduced-sentence plea deals

for giving up information on Deacon...

Information that never paid off.

Because he was controlling it.

He's Deacon!

He's not just above the law.

He is the law.

And he's always one step ahead

because he's the one
who issues the warrants.

His people know exactly
when the cops are coming.

That's not all.

I found this on his website.

Check who's in this photo.

♪

Lynette's fake dad!

We got him! Right?

What we have is conjecture.

We know it's true.

But with all the people in his pocket,

we'll be signing our death warrants

if we decide to point fingers
without proof.

Well, then, we need to do what
Ricky was going to do.

Get proof.

We need to get in and get
the ledgers from the safe.

Breaking into his house
would be a major operation.

- It'd take at least a week to plan.
- Yeah.

With a b*llet waiting for us
if we get it wrong... no.

Or we could just walk in.

Chambers is running for re-election.

He's having a fundraiser at his house

tomorrow night.

Oh, you wanna crash?

We'll never get close.

You're a TV star.

They'll see you coming a mile away.

Will they?

This is crazy. It'll never work.

SAM: Trust me. It'll work.

- Ready?
- Oh, as we'll ever be.

[DOOR OPENS]

♪

How you like me now?

♪

EDDIE: Oh, this is a bad idea.

Maybe, but it's the best
bad idea we've got.

You know, I used to be scared
of getting older,

but damn, I'm a serious cougar.

I can do this, Eddie.

Worst case, I get caught, you know.

And it becomes
- one more public humiliation

in a long list
of Samantha Swift scandals.

If we manage to pull it off,

we actually save a life.

Whatever you say, I'll hear.

We'll be in constant communication.

Now... do you remember your name?

The name's Dixie Burnside.

Really? A Southern accent?

I'm just getting into character.

Once you're inside,
you mingle, you fit in.

Be inconspicuous.

[GRUNTS]
- [GASPS] Oh!

I am so...

sorry!

Paul Seaborn.

Have we, uh... have we met?

I don't believe we have.

Dixie Burnside.

Look, I'm sure you get this all the time,

but, you have the most incredible eyes.

Well, aren't you a charmer, Mr. Seaborn.

Please. Paul.

♪

Would you excuse me?

- Duty calls.
- Oh, of course.

♪

EDDIE: Sounds like you made a friend.

Close call with fake Dad.

He was happy to see me,

but that was definitely
a g*n in his pocket.

In the back of the basement
is a door to the outside.

Problem is, it's steel reinforced,

sliding dead bolts.
Making it un-pickable.

So what you need to do is
just open up that door for me

and just return to the party.

At some point,
Chambers will make a speech.

Thank you.

I want to thank you all for coming.

When all eyes are on him,

that'll be your best shot
at slipping out unnoticed.

According to the floor plans,

there's an entrance through the kitchen

and down this stairway.

MAN: I'm sorry, ma'am.
You can't be down here.

If that's security, get out now.

Oh, I just need to grab a bottle of vino

and then I'll be out of your hair.

I can't let anyone back here.

Sam, go back. It's too risky.

You see, it's for the judge.

And Paul told me to tell you it was okay.

Mr. Seaborn?

If you don't believe me,
we can go see him.

But I hate to keep the judge waiting.

You know how he gets.

All right. Come on.

♪

Sam, talk to me.

I need to get rid of this guard.

What the hell are you doing?

You need to get out, now!

Okay, you got it? Come on. Let's go.

[GIGGLES]

I'm sorry.

[GRUNTS]

♪

EDDIE: All right, we gotta move.

- Keep an eye out. The safe?
- Uh, middle cabinet.

♪

[KEYPAD BEEPS]

[DOOR BANGS, MUFFLED SHOUTING]

♪

[MUFFLED SHOUT]

Ricky was right, this is everything.

- [MUFFLED SHOUT]
- [GASPS] Eddie!

Lynette, are you okay?

LYNETTE: [MUFFLED SHOUTS]

Damn it. That's why they had
a guard down here.

[WHIMPERING]

SEABORN: Hands.

Step where I can see you.

♪

I knew we'd met before. g*n, please.

♪

On the ground.

♪

Well, it's been quite a day.

First, Ms. Rainey there
shows up with the catering crew,

and then you two.

Makes it easy for me, though,
all of you in one place.

You're not gonna sh**t us.

Your boss won't like the press.

What, because some has-been actress

just out of rehab k*lled herself

after accidentally sh**ting the P.I.

she was shadowing?

People will love that.

Now, the ledgers.

You won't get away with this.

Oh, yes we will. You know why?

Because we always get away with it.

Not today.

Do you know why?

Because I'm greedy...

for justice.

Greedy for justice?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

♪

It means...

that you should watch more TV.

♪

Whoa! Did you see that?!

That was awesome!

I was awesome. I mean, you too.

But you know, you do this all the time.
But me, who knew?!

[MUFFLED SCREAM]

♪

Eddie Valetik, right?

You just made my Christmas list.

♪

Think he'll knit me a sweater?

I think your life just got
a lot more complicated.

At least there's enough in those ledgers

to put him away
for a couple of lifetimes.

But I gotta say,

that was the stupidest thing
you've ever done.

How did she talk you into it?

I'm still trying to figure that out.

- Good luck.
- Yeah.

LYNETTE: If it weren't for
you guys, I'd be dead.

Thank you, Sam.

Oh, come on. Ricky was the real hero.

Standing up and putting
his life on the line

so he could be with you.

But getting him justice...

you're a hero, too.

♪

Bye.

♪

Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. Wait a second.

No, no, no. This...

Are those real tears?

I... just got a little makeup in my eye.

- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.

♪

Well, I guess this is it.

I guess so.

♪

You know, for what it's worth...

♪

...you didn't suck.

[CHUCKLES]

Come on, Eddie. Let's not get all sappy.

Mm.

Thanks for giving me a shot.

Good luck, Sam.

♪

♪

Hey, wait! You're my ride!

[CHUCKLES]
[THE KOOKS' "BE WHO YOU ARE" PLAYS]

♪ You don't know who you are ♪

♪

♪ The road's gonna take
and make you walk too far ♪

♪

♪ You're a liar

♪ You're a thief

♪ You're a star

_

♪ But you don't know who you are ♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

♪ When there's nothing left to win ♪

♪ And you can only lose

♪ What's keeping you from doing
what you always wanna do ♪

They were all waiting
when I got here this morning.

It's gotta be all the publicity.

♪ Da, da, da, da
- Hmm.

- ♪ Da-da, da, da
- Okay.

♪ Be who you are ♪ Da, da,
da, da, Da-da, da, da ♪

Gimme me a minute,
and then send the first one in.

Eddie, there's something you should know.

They don't want just you.

♪ Da, da, da, da, Da-da, da, da ♪

♪ Be who you are

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

Hello?

EDDIE: Sam. It's Eddie.

♪ Da, da, da, da, Da-da, da, da ♪

♪ Baby, you're a star ♪ Da,
da, da, da, Da-da, da, da ♪