01x05 - Inside Plucky Duck/Bat's All, Folks/Wild Takes Class

[bunniefuu]

You're lucky. It's Plucky. I'm absolutely

ducky. Other shows seem yucky now that

Plucky's on the air. I'm wacky. I'm

quacky. He's an egomaniac-y. Hampton

plays the lucky of this stuff

extraordinaire. Who knows the way to

close his endless babbling beak?Drop an

angle down upon his feathery physique.

Toast him. Roast him. The show will still

be boasting. It's the Pucky Duck Show and

it's on each week His antics are

frantic At times he gets romantic My

talent's so gigantic It'll burst from

your TV The writers are hackers The

artists all with crackers The actors are

yackers But don't complain, it's free

Rocky goes to Acme Lune to learn to be a

star There are other tootsters at the

school But who cares who they are?So

enjoy, don't be coy And don't fall for a

decoy It's the Pucky Duck Show, come and

laugh aloneI also

wrote this song.

Hi, Filmsters. Welcome to another

half-hour of fun and laughs with

Buster... and Pab's bunny! No

relation. That's my line, you bogus

bunny! Huh

Lucky, what's the big idea?The

big idea is today's script. I'm not even

in this episode. It's an outrage, I tell

ya. Heads will rule. My lawyer will hear

of this while... Crazy!

Thanks. Say, kids, have you ever wondered

what makes a selfish bird like Plucky

Tick?Why, no. I can't say it's ever

crossed my... Just say yes, babs. Oh,

yes. It's a riddle that has baffled the

greatest minds of our time. Including the

renowned kid genius, Calamity Coyote.

Now, thanks to his active brain

scan-o-meter, we can enter the head of

Plucky Duck and watch his thinking in

action. Such as it is.

Okay, Calamity, miniaturize us.

What's that?That is the most highly

developed nerve impulse in Plucky's body,

his grief center.

Continuing our trip through Plucky's

brain, we come to his imagination. This

is where all his dreams and fantasies are

stored.

We're in luck. Plucky's having one of his

embarrassingly egotistical dreams of

glory. Monitoring his dream patterns will

yield incredible scientific data. Or a

couple of cheap laughs. Good enough.

Years ago, I, millionaire Spruce Vane,

swore to spend my life fighting crime, to

wipe out the weed of evil that was

choking the light from acne acres, to rip

out the foul, festering second tumor

of filth that was. You mind?I just

ate. Sorry. I studied

science and criminology.

I trained my body to perform feats of

superhuman strength.

At last, I was nearly ready to begin my

quest. Criminals are a

superstitious cowardly lot. I must

disguise myself as something fearful to

strike terror into their hearts.

Something gruesome. Something hideous.

Something I could mass market on a

T-shirt and make a whole lot of money.

Let's see. A spider?No, that's taken. A

warthog?Platypus?Mutant ninja

tortoise. A Zeebo?An

art wolf?Go on, scram. How's a

duck supposed to get any thinking done

around here?Hey, a duck. Not too

obviously.

That's it. I shall become a bat.

Needs work. My

costume and fighting techniques underwent

a period of refinement. Ah

You criminal scum.

Next, I shortened my cape and invested in

some cool sound effects.

But that, too, had its drawbacks.

Seeking to project a more threatening

image, I tried out this little number.

Take your bisque shot, punk.

And the worst part is it's a rental.

Ta-da! At last, I had perfected my

back duck costume. Now all I needed was a

sidekick. Someone I can train.

Someone I can nurture. Someone who can

wear a bright red uniform and draw all

the fire. Uh, attention. So what do you

say, decoy the pig hostage?I

think there's little point to discussing

retirement benefits. Our

secret identities are known only to our

trusted aid and confidant, Alfmira, the

upstairs man. Loyal Alfmira,

ever ready to help us answer the call

to action.

You should do something about that cop.

Answer the phone! All right!

Hello?You've reached a secret lair of bad

duck, also known as Millionaire Spruce.

Gimme that! Be a good kid and dust the

atomic reactor, will ya?Okay. And

test all the buttons. Yes, Commissioner?

You say there's a break-in at the Museum

of Really Silly Props?We're on our way!

Now a quick decoy to the duck

cave!

Oh, by the way, I shouldn't have pulled

out to be waxed.

Remind me to fire her.

Thanks to the fortune I've made selling

back duck T-shirts, only $29.99, kids.

Bug your folks for one. I can afford

state-of-the-art crime-fighting vehicles

like this pup here. Activate the

engines.

Let's peel that rubber baby!

Uh, grow up, decoy. Come on, move

this!

We made our way to a rooftop adjoining

the acne acres museum of really silly

props. There are two hoods on guard down

there, decoy.

So how's about you swing down there and

take them out with this bat boomer?

Now, now, boomers a-tickin' off with ya.

I'll sneak around and cover you from the

all-concealing shadows, where it's

safe.

Look, it is Decoy, the pig hostage.

Leave us. Bring him inside. What

is this thing?Okay,

just toss it over into the

all-concealing shadows.

You, scummy. Criminal. Scum,

scummy. Hey,

kids, don't touch that Bat Duck dial.

I'll be right back after these messages.

When we last left Bat Duck, he was

plummeting to the rescue.

Who?What?Fire. Decoy.

Captured. It's an underworld trap. All

right, you disgusting dreads of society.

Show yourselves.

Jackster. The Puffin.

Question mark. Pull

Catwoman. Plus your scheme, you

warped twisted sediment in the chocolate

milk of life. Simple, Dark

Knight. Once we rub you out,

everyone will buy our

T-shirts. Only



fiends. There's only one thing to do in

this situation.

Strike! How's seven

apples?

Actually,Them apples are rather sour.

How can you tell if an elephant's been in

your bed, Duck Night?African elephant or

Indian?Gee, I don't

know. Cute gag, ducko. Not one of

my own.

Smell my flower.

Jumpster, you fool, you! Always pulling

that corny squirting flower gag. Hey,

detour! Did you see the way I back ducked

that, um.. Ohh

No time to stand around looking pained,

picostage. I have to wrap up this case.

That'll be the commissioner to escort you

criminal scum to jail. But for now,

the horrific duck knight and his laughing

young daredevil companion must melt back

into the shadow back from whence they

came.

Calm yourself, decoy. I have everything

well in hand. Now, when I put that old

bat grappling iron, grappling iron,

grappling iron, now where thecould thatbe?

Gee, what do you suppose this thing does?

Ah, here it is. Ta-da!

Coming soon. Another thrilling

adventure of bad duck. I

really got to fire her.

Delving deeper into the mind of Plucky

Duck, we find his jealous side. Eh,

your ship isn't so great. I have one ten

times bigger, with a TV and a hot tub.

It's competitive side. Hey, wanna race?

Wanna race?Cheers! Cheers!

Let's set totally unexplored region way

down there. Well, there's something you

don't see too often. His humble side.

And when they all get together, look out!

Now, pay attention, class. This wild tech

stuff is serious business. You got to

learn the basics if you want to be a star

like me.

Yeesh. That rabbit's got an ego the size

of Montana. And I don't mean Max. Shh.

I want to hear this. You would. Take

your pet. As you know, a Wildtaker's

Howie tunes express surprise,

confusion,

anger.

And a whole bunch of other feelings. They

call those takes?Now, I'll

demonstrate a few key takes with the help

of this Acme tickle prompter. Let's start

with the Abria Ooga.

Next, the Frizz Frizzle.

Amazing, ain't it?

And who could forget the Chuck out of

Buck Pathetic Eyes routine?

Oops, that's all, folks. Remember to

practice your i-Pops. We got a pop quiz

next week. Now there's a teacher who

makes learning fun.

Uh, that's kid stuff. Woo-hoo,

woo-hoo! Now get a load of this one.

Daffy Duck, there's a take master.

But Daffy teaches the advanced class.

That's right. And I've been practicing

some of his extreme takes on the slide.

Bucky, I don't think that's a good idea.

Remember, Buck said we have to learn the

basics. Buck set. Buck set.

You can take orders from some dumb bunny,

but me?I'm going to do this.

And this. And the

grand finale, the Clampet

Corneal Catastrophe.

Hey, very impressive, Plucky. Not to

mention slightly nauseating. Do you mind?

Oh, sure. That should sell you. Anything

that plucks can do, I can do better.

After all, you don't have to be a

genius to do a tape like this.

But you may have to be a genius to get

out of it. Are you stuck?

I'm just resting. Really. You are

stuck. Maybe if I pull this eyelash.

Ow, ow, ow!

Stupid rabbit, forcing me to do those

dumb takes. This is all your fault.

Yeah, right.

What's that?

We're almost there.

Oh, what a pretty

eyeball. Lucky got stuck in a

wild take. Can you help him?I'll

hug him in coming back to his old sweet

cell. According to

cartoon drama, wild takes go away when

the takee calms down. Let me go, you

little moron! This could take a while.

This is humiliating?You're supposed to

stay calm, remember?Wait a

sec, Buster! I've got something in my eye!

Sorry. Oh, me got ice-train.

You got ice-train. Oh,

Buster! Oh, great. Babs. Now, I'll never

hear the end of this. Just act normal.

Easy for you to say. Hey,

Buster, are you ready for...

What is that?Didn't your mom tell you

it's not polite the point?

Plucky! You got

stuck in the glamp in Corneal!

Big deal! What off it?Well, aren't you a

sight for sore eyes?Well,

hey, don't get bent out of shape about

it. Aw, come on, Babs. Plucky's had a

hard day. Sorry, Plucky. I

can't help myself. You got something to

say?Oh, yeah. I just wanted to remind

you guys, today's the day when they take

our... class. Picture!

That's it. I'm going home. But you can't

miss the class picture. What?Like this?

Think of it like a bad haircut. The

yearbook won't be the same without you.

No way. I'm gonna bounce home and forget

this day ever happened. Now let go. But

lucky. Let

go!

Whoa!

Hang on! Man, did you ever have the

feeling you was being watched?

Okay, everybody smile.

Hey, I'm back to normal! Buster, look!

You okay?Sure, never better.

I told you I could pull off that take!

Nothing to it! Yeah, right.

Well, you're okay now. I guess that's

what matters. Uh, wait a minute,

Buster. Look, I was, uh, I was kind of

a... Jerk. Yeah. And, um,

well, I just wanted to say that I'm...

I'm sorry. Right. And

if I ever call your teacher's pet again,

I can saw off your legs and use you for a

pillow stuffing?Well, they'll put words

in my mouth. Ah, this'll make a great

picture for the yearbook. Smile.

And that's our trip through the mind of

Lucky Duck. Calamity?

Peel the pants off, ya! Not another

thing! Hey, where ya going?

Show's over, Plex. Bye.

What?So soon?

Great. Another show, and all I got was a

trummy walk-on. My agent will hear of

this! You ray?

Remind me to fire her, will ya?