01x02 - Ducklahoma/Video Game Blues/Yakety Yak/Party Crasher Plucky

[bunniefuu]

You're lucky. It's Plucky. I'm absolutely

ducky. Other shows seem yucky now that

Plucky's on the air. I'm wacky. I'm

quacky. He's an egomaniac-y. Hampton

plays the lucky of this stuff

extraordinaire. Who knows the way to

close his endless babbling beak?Drop an

angle down upon his feathery physique.

Toast him. Roast him. The show will still

be boasting. It's the Pucky Duck Show and

it's on each week His antics are

frantic At times he gets romantic My

talent's so gigantic It'll burst from

your TV The writers are hackers The

artists all with crackers The actors are

yackers But don't complain, it's free

Rocky goes to Acme Lune to learn to be a

star There are other tootsters at the

school But who cares who they are?So

enjoy, don't be coy And don't fall for a

decoy It's the Pucky Duck Show, come and

laugh aloneI also

wrote this song.

And now, without further ado, disruptions

or distractions, I present my

directorial debut, Furball

on the Roof. Action!

Stop the presses! I protest.

This is ridiculous. Fir ball on the roof.

You're going to direct a major musical

starring a cat that can't even talk?

Cut! I demand a rewrite.

Rewrite. I'll give you a rewrite.

This is workable.

So, where's my script?

Ducklahoma, starring Plucky Duck. Now

this is a classic!

And action! Oh, such a

wonderful Anvil!

This setup seems painfully familiar.

Look, babe, this is your

story. It has Emmy written all

over it. Yes, Yes well, of

course, I... Let us continue, shall we?

And action!

There's a nice flat black scene

on the Anzo There's a nice flat black

scene on the Anzo It

goes up from the ground to rise way

above town And it looks

like it's falling It's coming straight

down Oh, such a

wonderful Anzo!

Oh, how it fills me with glee!

But now I'm changing my thinking.

That animals are falling on

me.

Cut! This is absurd.

Exactly, plucky babe. And that's what I'm

going for here. Now, this is your big,

big, big, big, big, big scene. You

beautiful babe, don't have a change, huh

Like morning to you, Mr. Plucky.

Morning, Miss Shirley. I come to ask you

to the dance. She ain't going with

you.

Well, if it ain't ham fry of a hired

hand.

Ain't nobody takin' her but me.

Buttin' you?Sure.

I'm telling you, Mr. Plucky, nobody

crosses Mr. Habfry. I'm taking Miss

Shirley to the dance. Is that right?

Well, take a listen here.

Pigs and hogs and sows say goodbye

When I drop this thing from on high

When I drop this thing The sandal with

the tablecloth

I like this part.

Don't worry, my Mr. Ham Fry Cutie Pie.

I'll go to the dance with you.

No, thanks, Miss Elbari. Why

not?'Cause where you go,

anvils follow.

I never seem to fall for the right guy.

Um, just like, what's wrong with you and

Junk?Not

another song. Please, I can't take

it! With every song, I get culverized!

I know I've been bad. I know I shouldn't

have disrupted your directorial debut.

But isn't there someone else on this show

obnoxious enough to get hit with anvils?

Oh, don't cry, our buoy-hooey

little duckie-wockie. Oh, please,

please, please

Cue Elmira song.

Thank you. Thank you.

Here is a gal who can avoid

anvils You should have pity, you'll

see I always try

to clear the path But they keep

falling on me When I hear

that whistling, falling sound I

know I ought to get right out of town

But I never seem to move

enough And my head is alwaysShe's

pummeled in the ground Hi.

Listen here, Mr. Hamfry. Ms.

Shirley's agreed to go with me to the

dance. I'm like, um, sorry in junk.

Uh, why don't you take Ms. Elmiry?Why,

should I?'Cause then we can cut straight

to the finale and get this thing over

with.

Well, all right. Yay!

Duck Oklahoma,

watch the anvils fall down from the

sky Duck Oklahoma, where the sound

of falling iris is like a siren Watch

the anvils start to wade out from a

high Even though a fair warning is said

It's sure you'll get one on the head

So let's all sing We

really need it, hey

Ouch! We're really hurting, run for your

life! Duck-a-homa!

Duck-a-homa!

Duck-a-homa!

Cut and print.

Am I gifted or what?

Um, speaking of gifts, the cast and I got

you a little gift to show our

appreciation. You shouldn't

have. I don't deserve it. Oh, yes you

do.

Oh, I'm overwhelmed.

The sadist.

Whoops, forgot something.

How could you leave me like that?You

no-good excuse for a-- Gosh, Tabs, you've

lost weight. I have?You look

great. Really?

What do you want?I'm a director. I'm

supposed to schmooze.

That the brain can go and

mesmerize Immobilize,

vaporize Hey, vacant minds are fine

It's time, annihilate

It's time, subjugate It's

time, emolate To slice

those alien slime

They're tiny, back your way They've got

you on the run, it's you've got, sip,

sip Too late, you'll fright the cream

You're burning

out of time,

stick your

bodies on the line Quick, you've got to

show those blips, who's boss Oh, oh, oh,

oh, ohh please, oh, please, oh, please

You're about to get revenge right now The

Martians aren't laughing nowYou're

flying high, it seems But wait, which is

it cannot be The Martians are in back of

me Surrounding me with beams of

energy Alas, it seems you cannot win The

Martian smiles his evil grin These games

are rigged They're owned by Martian pigs

But I'll even just watch me I'll build my

own games and you'll see The bad guys'll

look a lot like me I'll put it

in a Mars arcade And beat those

Martians that I played I know they're

tricks I'll do the same I'll fix those

guysI'll rake my game They'll get

addicted and pay me Their

quarters till eternity

And then I can afford to play

All night and every single day

And I will shout hip, hip, who, me!

I won, I won, I won, I won,

I won, I won, I won, I won!

Take out the papers and the trash

Or you don't get no spending cash

If you don't scrub that kitchen fur

You ain't gonna rock and roll no more

Yaggy, yag Don't talk back Just finish

cleaning up your room

Let's see that dust guy with that broom

Get all that garbage out of the shy

Or you don't go out Friday night Yaggity

yak Don't hold back. You just put on your

coat and hat And

walk yourself to the laundromat

And when you finish doing that

Bring in the dog and put out the cat

Yaggity yak Don't hold back.

Don't you give me no dirty looks

Your father's hippie knows what to do

Just tell your hootlin' frit outside

You ain't got time to take a ride Yaggity

yak Don't talk back. Yaggity yak, yaggity

yak Yaggity

yak, yaggity yak

Ah, Friday. Finally. Do you

know what Friday is?Yep.

The day after Thursday?Yeah, yeah, but

don't you people know what that means?

That tomorrow will be Saturday?Hey!

Yeah, yeah, but don't you realize that

Friday has a more significant

significance?You must be referring to the

fact that Friday was originally known as

Freya Day, after the Norse goddess of

love. Thank you, Mr. Trivia.

Don't you guys get it?It's time to get

down, get funky, get

loose. It's date

night!

What, may I ask?It's so funny.

Date night. That's a good one,

talkie.

Mine, you might actually be able to get a

date. With

somebody else. Is there

anything quite so cruel as the derisive

laughter of one's peers?

It just so happens I'm planning to ask

Shirley the Loon to spend the evening

basking in the glow of my company.

I don't see what's so funny.

Why, any girl would be happy to date a

duck like me. I've got looks,

brains, savoir faire.

Well, I've got bus fare.

Ah, what a lucky loonOh, what a loon I

am. Oh, Shirley.

Say, Shirley. Oh, what a loon I am.

Oh, what a loon I am.

Shirley! Like, wow, bummer.

I just had, like, the most totally gross

apparition mid-mantra. Oh,

deja vu. Deja vu to you too. How'd you

like to go out with me tonight?Negatory,

duck toad. Today happens to be the

birthday of my name shake, my idol,

my role model, my earth goddess,

Shirley McBain. Oh,

how would you feel if I told you that I

just happened to be invited to your

idol's birthday party and that I had

chosen you to assort me?Like, really?

Yeah, sure. I'll pick you up at 8.

Like, I guess even duck toads can be

connected. This is so

totally karmic. It's like my planets must

be trining my second house, or some junk.

Funny, I was just about to say the exact

same thing.

Ah, paparazzi. I

guess they must be low on film.

Your last name?LoonOh,

look, there we are. Go

right in, Miss LoonYou probably recognize

me as the world famous star of television

and videotape. Name, please. A duck.

Lucky duck. I'm sorry, you're not on the

list.

So that's why they call them bouncers.

Shirley, I'd like you to meet Shirley.

Nice to meet you. I I feel like

we're soulmates. Well, let's see. We

are soulmates. I knew it. Well, at least

my date's having a good time. I got to

get in there. I know. I'll use my

oft-used gift of celebrity impersonation.

Yo, Adrienne.

Go ahead, make my cake.

Heard any good jokes lately?

Let's put Snow White on video. How about

another theme park, huhYou're a genius,

Jeff. I know. I'll pose as

part of Jeff's empirazi.

Sometimes you've just got to swallow your

pride in this business.

Wow! Talk about star-studded!

Fly girls!

I get it. I get it. Dances with wolves.

Ah, this must be the buffet table. And

you must be Buffet. It's a Hollywood

party. What do you expect?What do you

recommend, Buffet?If you like seafood,

I'd recommend the new squids on the

block. Or if you prefer something more

dated, we have the John Candy yams.

Hey, don't you know who I am?I'm, uh,

I'm, um.. What do celebrities love more

than anything else?I'm... I'm..

I'm an endangered species.

Did he say endangered species?

Did he say endangered species?

Did he say endangered species?

Yes, I did. I'm the...

bush quail. Yeah, that's who

I am. A rare bush quail.

Duh Get real, everybody. Like he's just a

duck.

Yikes! Now, don't get all into a

hissy fit. You wouldn't want to endanger

my species now, would ya?

I guess you could say I was the hit of

the party. Well, I got a kick out of it

anyway.