02x02 - The Hollywood Walk of Shame

[bunniefuu]

Previously on
"House of Villains"...

We’re definitely not
in Jersey anymore.

You might know me from the
"Real Housewives of New Jersey."

"Bad Girls Club."

-"Big Brother."
-"RuPaul’s Drag Race."

Original "Survivor" winner.

Oh, you went away too?

You can call me Vicky or queen.

Oh, I like Vicky.

-Safaree.
-I’m in part of disbelief.

Do we live together again?

Has that tongue
touched that tongue?

Ooh!

-You’re a big Raiders girl, huh?
-Uh-huh. Raider nation.

Your first
Battle Royale Challenge

is Crimes Against Reality.

Yeah.

There it is!

-[cheering]
-[airhorn sounding]

Who have you chosen to be
this week’s Super Villain?

Safaree!

It is Safaree, everybody.

You have to pick two people
to take on your reward.

Wes and Pec.

Okay, you guys are going
on your group date,

but we’re gonna do
a one-on-one later.

-Okay.
-We basically would put in

two pawns and a target.

The target would be Vicky.

Safaree, who is
the first villain

you are pissing off today?

But that spot
on the Hit List is.

Safaree, your Pepto
Bismol-themed jacket

needs to make another decision.

-Larissa.
-I’m confused.

-I thought we had a pact.
-Kandy.

You are the next b*tch out of
this ----ing house.

Now, clock that tea!

Sh--.

Wow.

b*tch.

I can’t deal with Safaree.

Like, he’s disgusting.

Victoria.

I’m disgusted
I breathed the same air as him.

Girl, give me
a ----ing shot of tequila.

-Where’s the ice?
-Where’s the ice?

-Butch production.
-When you order liquor,

you wanna get your bottle
with your ice.

Babe, they’re doing their best.
Why are you not grateful?

Grateful?

Safaree, what made you choose

to go against your team
yesterday,

after you said you would?

Because now,
you’re showing your true colors.

-I thought it was cool.
-No, listen. Talk to Wes.

-Wes?
-Sure, you wanna sit down?

Sure.

This is exactly what I wanted.

I’m gonna let people think
that Wes is pulling the strings,

and I’m gonna sit back
and watch the show.

I’m very happy right now.

Why would you go against
your team?

What’s going on?

Who is?

Wes.

Right.

And you’re safe.

Not to mention,
you could win the thing.

I’m gonna talk to Wes,
because that’s ----ed up.

In the long term, the only
real mistake that he made

-Is...
-Was not telling you.

Girl, these three
little boyfriends

had their little
boyfriend date today,

and all of a sudden, came up
with a plan to use me as a pawn.

So, I’ll play the pawn,
but you better ----ing save me.

Why are you saying you’re
having a plan for Kandy?

We didn’t say
we had a plan for Kandy.

Because that’s what
Larissa said.

We’re talking as team members

as to why our--
My team members betrayed me.

But the team is over, so like...

Well, the team is over.
Look, it’s the name of the game.

At the end of the day,

three people are gonna
be in the bottom,

someone’s gonna go home,
it’s what we signed up for,

but tomorrow, we go into
the Redemption Challenge,

and we’ll see what happens.

I don’t know
why I feel like crying.

-No, no.
-Well, you’re in the bottom.

-Feel the emotions.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

On my show,
we call them eliminations.

I’ve been sent into
more eliminations

than anyone in
the history of the genre.

It basically means I’m the
most mathematically bullied man

in reality television.

-That’s crazy.
-Yeah.

So, earlier in the day, I really
wanted Victoria to leave.

I think the target
would be Vicky.

You could tell she just wants--
she just wants to win.

-I don’t wanna go home.
-Well...

But what I’m realizing right now

is that she is
a desperate young woman,

and one of
my favorite past times

is finding a desperate person
and saving their life,

so that they can come
back and save my life

later on in the game.

-I got a prescription for you.
-Okay.

You need to go get
an Aperol spritz.

-No, I’ll cry.
-Okay.

And I’m probably hungry,
but now I’m like,

don’t wanna eat.

I was waiting the
whole time to eat.

Well, I’m sorry.
I know it hurts.

I’m like the bad guy
version of Obi-Wan.

Okay, yeah, let’s do
an Aperol spritz.

Okay.

He shouldn’t--
But he has his own room there.

You guys haven’t even seen
me in a bikini yet.

You really want me to go home?

It’s too cold for that.

Tomorrow, either you or me
have to beat Veronica

in the Redemption Challenge.

Veronica, she can not
win that challenge.

What was I calling her?

Oh, my God. This whole time?

I don’t believe Victoria’s
the target at all,

so I feel like tomorrow,

I have to win
the Redemption Challenge.

Maybe, it can be my chance

to come back
and [bleep] Wes and Safar.

Yeah.

All right?

I’m on coochie patrol,
make sure it don’t show.

Oh, my God. What, Hot Pockets?
Absolutely not.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is working
out very well.

This guys’ alliance
is promising.

Like, I should be on the
Hit List right now, and I’m not.

Nobody wants the pecs
to go home yet.

[Jessie sighing]

Okay.

[lullaby music]

Little Timmy.

He’s a good boy.

He’s got plenty of brothers
and sisters at home.

Aw. Say thank you, Timmy.

[high pitched]
Thank you, Ms. Teresa.

He’s so well-behaved.

Safaree.

So, it’s...

Sorry. Just me.

That’s not me. I think
of Shadowman, still.

Do you only follow 38 people?

Anyway, took a picture
with Hugh Hefner’s storks...

I was blonde until recently.

I was explaining to a guy...

What the [bleep]
do you think you’re doing?

Me and my dog.

Safaree doesn’t have a vote,

but she’s still trying
to flirt while I’m sleeping.

Inconsiderate moron.

I love looking at myself.

I’ve come to the point

where I think Victoria
ought to go.

Okay, night, Safaree.

♪

You’re the best roommate ever.

What the?

Yo, what’s up with this guy?

This guy’s showering
with the door open.

This guy is nuts,
showering with the door open.

Is this "Survivor?"
What the hell.

-House of Survivor.
-"Naked and Afraid."

He’s the naked one,
you’re afraid.

[Richard whistling]

I’m making French toast.

Do the French actually
eat the toast like this?

I don’t think so, right?
They eat like, croissants?

I don’t know.

Hey, beautiful.
I like your curls.

You sleep well?

Yeah, yeah.

-Guess what?
-What?

I’m gonna cook
for you guys tonight.

-Oh, my God. Yay!
-Yeah.

I grew up in an
old school Italian family.

I’m first-generation.

What I learned
to do at home was cook.

I have four cookbooks,
and right now,

I’m working on opening
up a restaurant

with my daughter, Gia.

So, of course, my strategy
is to cook for everyone

in the house,
because the best place

to get to someone’s heart
is through their stomach.

Where do you living, Richard?

Newport, Rhode Island.

g*y people meet each
other through apps.

-It’s called a dating app--
-But it’s not dating.

But it’s more for hookups.

For me, you hook up,
and then that’s when you decide

whether you want to go
to dinner with them.

Do you ghost people, Richard?

Oh, yeah. Ghosting is normal.

I’m a 63-year-old guy,

so when I got divorced
six years ago,

I thought it was over,

but I’ve learned that
that’s just silly,

and I’m grateful, thankful,

and I enjoy
every frickin’ moment of it.

And that’s g*y culture.

Larissa’s pissed at you.

Have you been feeling
that attitude from her?

Yeah, I haven’t said
one word to her

-and she’s right there.
-Yeah.

Hola.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

-I love, like, a workout buddy.
-Yeah.

That’s why you can’t go home.

I’m not going home.

Before I came, I got like,
eight parking tickets.

My license is suspended.

I don’t have car insurance.
I can’t afford it.

Two years ago,
I made a OnlyFans,

so I was getting, like, money.

Then, I turned 30 and I’m like,

"I don’t want this.
This isn’t me."

Guys, I actually do need to win
this Redemption Challenge,

because I’ve been broke
since I quit my OnlyFans.

My money’s always
like, really big,

and then, I have nothing.

I need to win the prize
money to, like...

organize my life a bit.

I suck at working out

because I just do a little
bit, a little bit.

That’s all they need
for cameras.

-Yeah.
-That’s like--

-We look, like, sexy doing it.
-Yeah.

Hold on. If she’s one
of the people who goes up,

that’s who we’re voting out?

-Vicky was the target yesterday.
-Yeah.

She’s a lot easier to like,
communicate with.

We bring Vicky around
as a lay-up.

Yeah because we can cut her
whenever we want.

I find how bad Vicky is
at this to be hilarious.

This show is really different
than "The Bachelor."

Like, I learned that
I’m like, easily manipulated.

We should keep her
a little longer.

Everyone in this house that
I claim to be working with

is a desperate person,
and I love it

when I find desperate players.

My butt feels good.

I wanna form, like, a cult,

and cults are built
with vulnerable players.

Hello, boys.

Good. Exactly who
we need to speak to.

We’ve been talking.

Okay, what’s happening?

Well, plan A is
you go win the thing.

Yeah.

If not, uh, vote for me, okay?

We were thinking, though,
that if we did that,

that you could maybe pledge
your undying allegiance to us.

Duh. That’s-- Obviously.

We’ll be such a solid team.

We like to hear that.

I don’t trust Wes,
but I have joined Wes’ cult,

because I just don’t know
how else to survive,

and I really don’t wanna go
home this first elimination.

Like, that’s,
like, embarrassing.

[Wes laughing]

[treacherous music]

Get out?

What do I say first?

-[doorbell ringing]
-Hello?

Villains,
you have a visitor.

-Uh-oh.
-Get that damn door!

Who is it?

Who is that?

-Hello, hello, hello.
-Oh, Janice Dickinson!

Hello, I’m Janice.

[doorbell ringing]

Is that the front door?

Hi.

-Hello, hello, hello.
-Hello.

-Oh, Janice Dickinson!
-Hello, I’m Janice.

Oh, I know.

Who doesn’t know about
Janice Dickinson?

What’s her name? Janet?

-Janice Dickson?
-Jennifer Dickinson?

I mean, she’s the ultimate
top model of the world.

They’re all fat.
The entire room is fat.

I’m fat. You’re all fat.

Yes, nice to meet you.

Janice Dickinson,
the most villainous villain

in reality TV show history.

I don’t see a future with you.
You’re too old to model.

I can even yell louder than you.

Shut the [bleep] up!

Joel couldn’t be here,
so he sent me,

Janice Dickinson,
the world’s first supermodel.

Yes, Janice!

I’m here to introduce your
first Redemption Challenge.

So, I hear three of you are
in the sh--er. Who’s that?

Aye-yi. Today’s
Redemption Challenge is called

"The Hollywood of No Shame".

What?

It’s called "The Hollywood
Walk of No Shame."

Today, all you need are
your powers of persuasion

to shamelessly unite the masses
of Hollywood Boulevard

in your favor.

You’ll have one hour to
strut down the street

and convince as many people
as you can

to sign your personal petition
to get you off the Hit List.

When the time’s up, the villain
with the most signatures

will be taken off the Hit List.

The remaining two will still
be up for elimination.

That means you’re ----ed.

You’re doing great. Thanks.

Now, since this challenge is
all about strutting your stuff,

and I’m known for
judging people’s walks,

let’s see what
you’re all working with.

Walk from there to
the front door and back.

Okay.

All right, thank you.
That was a terrible walk.

[laughing]

Ooh!

Very good, Larissa.
Praise, slay, dance, prance.

That’s what I call a ten walk.

Very good.

Oh, oh.

[laughing]

Hey! Okay.

[Tiffany laughing]

I was just being HBIC with it.

I’ve seen enough of this stuff.

[laughing]

Okay, back to
the challenge, everybody.

So basically,
whoever gets the most signatures

on Hollywood Boulevard
wins, got it?

You, you, and you, get ready.

I’m out of here.

-Bye-bye!
-Bye!

All right, I’ll go that way.

-Ooh, may the best queen win.
-May the best queen win!

[grunting]

Walking into
the Redemption Challenge,

my strategy is to get
into some quick drag,

because people and drag queens
are like moths to a fire.

♪

Okay, Kandy.

Stun, b*tch!

-Oh, my.
-Excuse me.

I’m gonna go for the groups.

Get the fans, get
the people that are not my fans.

Everyone on Hollywood Boulevard,
they gotta come sign

this paper,
because I cannot go home.

Oh, my-- I love that outfit.

Mm-hmm.

♪

I do feel a little
nervous, because whenever

people are petitioning
for signatures, I never stop.

So, I’m a little scared
karma might get me.

I don’t know
how to draw lips. [bleep]

Ugh! Just go inside,
mother----er!

[laughing]

♪

Okay.

I need to make pee.

-[bell tolling]
-Get in, losers!

It’s time for
your walk of no shame.

Hollywood, here we come.

Bye!

Bye-bye!

Can’t wait to see who wins.

Kandy looks like she wants it.

You didn’t see how she got up
and went, got ready, boom,

down here with the sign.

Vicky, she’s bubbly,

quirky, gives a little ditzy,
funny, Valley girl vibe.

Larissa is giving, what?

-Jugging. Jugging.
-She’s just jugging.

♪

[dramatic music]

We’re in the middle of
the ----ing game now.

Hollywood Boulevard, ha-ha.

I love it.

Going through this
Redemption Challenge,

but the reality is,

I am going through it,
I’m lightheaded,

I want to throw up,
thinking to myself, why me?

Why am I in the bottom?

♪

Let’s go!

Coming up...

Don’t try to pick a fight with
me, provoke me this whole time.

No one is trying to provoke you!

Go [bleep] yourself!

No, let me ----ing talk because
now you’ve pissed me off.

Shut up!

♪

♪

I am feeling a bit nervous,

because I know
I’m a pawn in the game

and the boys say
that they will have my back,

but no one is safe in this game.

You guys ready? Let’s go!

-Okay.
-[airhorn blowing]

Free hugs? [cheering]

♪

Won’t you give me
your signature?

Divas, I need
you to sign my petition,

print and sign,
so that I don’t get eliminated.

Would you help me to bring
awareness for the breast cancer?

And sign just a paper for me?

-No.
-Okay.

Just print your name and then
sign your name.

Can you come sign this?

[bleep]

I need you to come print
and sign a petition for me.

-Okay.
-Yeah?

Oh, my gosh, Kandy’s, like,
running and getting people.

Thank you, baby!

I’m running up and down
Hollywood Boulevard looking

like a maniac, but here’s
the thing, as drag queens,

that’s what we do, we make
it work, we have a good time.

Who doesn’t want to
be near a drag queen,

especially looking
like this? [chuckling]

[sighing]

Won’t you
sign for me and help me?

Can you please come sign
my thing? Thank you.

My strategy is only
to go a short distance,

and just sign really quick,
have them feel the energy,

the excitement of the cameras.

Thank you!

She’s gonna win!

♪

Larissa’s going for strolls.

Hey, would
you give me a signature?

[bleep]

Hey, Raider Nation,
would you help me

to bring awareness
for the breast cancer?

And just give me a signature,
I’m a Raider Nation too.

I don’t--

Really? You’re broken
my heart.

Woo! Baby’s hot!

-Thank you so much.
-Ain’t you on "90 Day Fiancé"?

Yeah, would you help me
sign for me?

No, you want to sign mine.

No, she’s already going
to sign for the breast cancer.

You sure you don’t
want to sign for me?

Yes, it is me! It is!
You want something-- Ah, girl!

I’mma come sign you.

From the hood to Hollywood!

From the hood
to Hollywood, baby!

Yes, it is!
Oh, I’m pleased. Okay. Y’all.

Everyone loves Kandy.

Oh, my God!

I need you to
come sign my petition.

Come, come, come,
come, come, come, come.

-Come here.
-It really is Kandy Muse.

Yes, okay, yeah, look.

I’m really happy
that all the fans

are here
at Hollywood Boulevard.

Print and sign.

But here’s the thing.
We have one hour

on the clock,
and everyone wants to sign,

-and then also a selfie.
-Cute!

Every selfie is
a minute away from the clock.

Thank you!

Thank you!

-Thank you, baby.
-Thank you very much.

-Good luck.
-Thank you.

♪

I just love talking to you.

Seriously, no, look, look,
I know you, like, we’re cool,

but, like,
I’m such a fan of you.

You’re so inspiring to me.
Can I have a kiss?

[chuckling]

-I’m sorry.
-I’ll be upstairs.

No, no, no, no, no.

Thank you so much. You just
write your name and sign.

Signature to bring
awareness for breast cancer.

Why are people in LA so mean?

At Hollywood Boulevard, people
are selfish,

people really are dead inside,

and they even want to sign
for the breast cancer.

I thought
it was good strategy.

Would you help me give me
your signature to the veterans?

Yeah, just in here,
just for TV show.

Yeah, but I’m gonna
help you then

afterwards of the TV show.

Oh, sorry.

Okay, thank you.

Thank you, babies.

I just need you to sign it.

No. Why?

I am so determined
to get signatures.

[speaking Spanish]

Hola, hola. Um...

I need to win this.

Okay, look at my tiara.

Come!

Cheating!

So cute. Write your name,
and then you sign it.

Thank you so much. Yay!

You’ll help me? Yay.
Okay, thank you!

I’m catching up.

[whistling]

Anyone who’s not on
the Hit List is gonna take

this opportunity to take a nap,
lounge by the pool.

Not me.

You want to talk?

While these others are out
of the house, I’m clocking in.

So, I saw you from afar,
almost early,

as someone
that I wanted to work with.

-Mm-hmm.
-I want to work with

a very, very small
amount of people,

who are very
organized and methodical.

So we have to be very,
very smart, because

you’re a threat to people.

What I’m proposing is that we’re
each other’s number ones.

Yeah. It sounds--
sounds like a good plan.

I don’t trust
the man as far as I see him,

but I think
Wes is a great player.

So, of course, I told Wes
what he wants to hear.

-All right, shake on it?
-Yeah.

-Deal.
-Deal.

All right, one minute!

-[clock beeping]
- Last minute!

-Just a signature, just one.
-Oh, a signature? Yeah.

Okay, come here, please.

Whoever gets the most wins.

Thank you.
One, two, three.

Put it away, b*tch.

I’m just counting.

Me and Kandy are neck and neck.

Kandy has a ton of fans
that came up to her,

wasting time, and hopefully
that works in my favor.

-Thank you.
-Thank you, baby.

♪

Thank you so much.

Oh, my God, I might win.

Hello?

Thank you.

-My last one.
-Please, can you help me?

♪

I swear, while I was asleep,

I heard Kandy say,
"I won, b*tch!"

-I’m psychic if it happens.
-Oh, my God.

Yo, the truck just
pulled up.

Oh, they’re here.

I need my jacket.

Victoria doesn’t look happy.

What happened? Hello!

Safaree! Read ’em
and weep, b*tch!

Baby!

I dreamed this! I dreamed this!
I told you, I’m psychic!

I can, um,
see things before they happen.

I got 81.



I got 87.

I don’t want people to
be freaked out by my gift.

-Wow!
-That’s a lot!

I’m off the Hit List,
and now I can go up

to my room and unpack my bags.

Bye! [laughing]

How’d you do?

Why did you lie to them?
That’s so weird.

Do you know
how crazy that is going to look?

Girl, you should put the sign
down and start going like this.

What is this? Oh, my God!

-What you mean, honey?
-Now, who dressed--

Bro, trust. Put this on.

Production’s going to love
this look on you.

♪

This could be
a black hairline right here.

Larissa was,
like, telling people,

like, sign
this for breast cancer.

-Who wrote that?
-Larissa!

No, she did not.

Yes, she’s a villain.

No, like,
that’s actually ----ed up.

-Like, don’t lie about cancer.
-Listen...

-You appreciate...
-I’m one person.

It’s a group of people
out there.

You need to convince
the people here.

I’m going to
try to talk to people,

but I’m not going to try to beg.

They’re going to do
whatever they want at the end.

Congratulations, one more time.

Thank you, baby.

Oh, thank you.

♪

So, what
y’all thinking? Cause...

Well, what do you want?

My mind is made up,
but I will switch if you guys.

It’s what you said earlier.
That’s it.

So, what did you say earlier?

-Send Larissa home.
-I don’t know.

I think Vicky is more dangerous.

I don’t want to rock
the boat in the game,

but Victoria, at this
point for me, is t*rture.

So, I want Victoria to go home
and work on her journey.

Wow, look at all your shoes.

I know. I might have
overpacked a little bit,

but I just have every
different color outfit.

I’m like, well, something’s
bound to go with something.

-So fun.
-Right?

Look, here’s the real tea.

Larissa is my homegirl
in this competition, and I think

that there’s a common
denominator in this house,

and that’s my roommate,
that’s Victoria.

I would love more closet space.

Okay.

[Kandy laughing]

But now,
she’s serving a purpose.

Yeah, and
she’s earned her space.

Where’s Larissa?
I can’t see her.

I just know that when
it gets down to five,

you know
who the five are gonna be?

Jessie, Wes, Rich, four, five.

I really got your back.

We have joined forces, honey.

New York, you know, she has
a special place in my heart.

I really care about New York.

She got my back, got her back.

I’m engaged and a fiancé,
and I’m waiting to see

what we’re gonna do,
because I want to give him

one more year to make up his
mind to marry me,

-or I have to go.
-How long y’all been together?

Six years, engaged
for three and a half.

Listen, you know
you’re special to me.

Oh, God.

I just want you to know that.

Thank you, Safaree.

Because I know you meant that.

I know.

Oh, [bleep]!
Don’t play with me!

Safaree has a sweet
spot for New York still,

for sure, 1,000%.

Is it, though? I mean...

Oh, man! See?

I trust you. I trust you. Oh.

What have we got
going on over there?

What’s going on?

-We’re talking about--
-We’re just strategizing about--

We’re talking about height.

Oh, yeah.

-No, for real.
-Height?

Yeah, because I’m just,
like, seeing,

like, seeing,
like, things down here.

Uh-oh.

What are you gonna
wear for dinner?

This, no?

-It’s in the house.
-Yeah, you think?

Should we all wear our furs?

No, because we’re home.

-Okay.
-Yeah, yeah, we’re home.

I’m, like,
kind of beat from today.

I know.

She got 34,
I got 81, he got 87.

You guys should want to keep me,

because if I’m on your team,
I’m competitive, I can help.

Tonight’s the first
banishment ceremony,

and I’m keeping
my cards close to me.

But Victoria
reminds me of my daughter,

so I feel closer to Victoria.

I just think we all have to pick
someone if it happens, so...

-It is what it is.
-Yeah.

Can I have
a minute to talk to you?

I saw you.
Yes, of course you can.

See, I’m quiet, Tiffany.

It’s not because,
like, give it up.

Some clams take longer to open.

I’m telling you,
I will fight with a fork.

If it’s a good clam,
I’ll just keep...

until that sucker pops.

And that was me.

I take a long time to kind
of open up, warm up,

and you shouldn’t
be penalized for that.

Right now, I even know
what she’s talking about.

You know,
my book is just not wide open,

and I’m in everyone’s faces.

She’s talking no sense,

and I believe
she’s legally insane.

Tiffany, when I think about her,
I think about a villain.

You need to
be true for yourself.

You understand?

Yes, yes.

Let me tell you something,
Miss Larissa.

I respect a good frame
and a large tit.

I’ve always been a tit girl.

I love ’em huge.
The bigger, the better.

I felt Tiffany was like,
yes, girl, you have my vote.

Hey, T, Liss, I don’t
want to interrupt real quick,

but just when you’re ready,
dinner’s served on the table.

Thanks, Kandy.
We’ll come in right now.

Guys, come eat.

Okay, this is done.

Teresa,
this place smells divine.

Oh, my goodness.

Everyone’s here.

Looks so pretty, Teresa.

Enjoy your dinner.

Thank you for
this beautiful spread.

Bon appétit.

Mmm.

So tell me how it is.
Is it good?

Flavorful.

Yeah? I mean,
it’s pretty easy to make.

You just gotta season it
and put it in the oven.

Enough protein for you, Pec?

Yes, yes.

Jessie just kind of moved
around his plate

and nothing went in his mouth,

so who knows what he really
thought of what you made.

Awkward.

I had two slices of it.

Jess, I would never get mad.

Okay, it was
a little salty for my taste!

Did anybody say anything bad?

Uh, it’s horrible.

It tasted like a salt lick.

Teresa definitely
should rely on caterers

and private chefs
moving forward.

[bleep] them.

-[bell tolling]
-Villains,

it’s time to get ready for
your first banishment ceremony.

Where one of you
will be declared

persona non grata by the house.

Excommunicado, b*tches!

Thanks for the roast, gotta go.

Be downstairs in one hour.

[quietly screeching]

I am so nervous going into
the banishment ceremony.

I mean, I’m trusting the people
who gave me their word,

but this is "House of Villains",

you just never know
what they’re really thinking.

Coming up...

My lord.

Um...

[gasping]

Wait. That’s why you
were scared?

Safaree, I had gone to his room

and now I’ve supposedly
pissed off Rich,

and he says I’m entitled.

You excited?

I am. You know
I’m excited because

I’m not on
the hit list anymore tonight.

[groaning]

And that’s how you know
you did it correctly.

Thank you.

[tense instrumental]

You want to keep Victoria
or you want to keep Larissa?

Victoria.

I’d prefer Victoria to go.

Well, you’re safer
with Larissa because

you’ve done a very
good job diversifying--

I’ve done that with
all kinds of people,

just because that’s who I am.

But I’ll do it with you,
I’ll do it with everybody.

So you’re saying you’re
very impressive at this game?

-I am.
-Uh-oh.

And a threat.

But you’re pretty
much in charge, it seems.

Of what?

You know damn well
I’m very aware of

what you’re doing
and playing and I don’t care.

I won’t be mad
at any of you guys,

regardless of how you vote.

Certainly, Wes feels
he can play these games well,

but I will make sure
that it’s Victoria who goes.

There’s nobody
who’s better than me.

That’s just stupid.
[laughing]

What was the conversation
about over there?

Is everybody still
on the same ----ing page

or is everybody
shifting or what?

Listen, the idea that Victoria
is reliable isn’t real.

[quietly screeching]

And Larissa,
I’d rather vote for her to stay

and if you’re
willing to do that.

But, it’s like
who can I really trust--

I think Larissa,
that’s my point.

There’s the bottom line.

Originally, I was trying
to get Victoria out

because she was just
such a b*tch,

but now that I’m working with
Wes on the low,

I don’t know.

Whatever-- what do you need?
You mean like to put them on?

-Yeah. Just the buckles.
-Yeah. Okay. Uh-huh.

I’ve never been
to a sports game.

Really?
Never’s too late.

The first time I went
to the football game,

the guy say, I love you.

What I love most,
they are family-oriented people.

Where?

In Vegas,
there’s family-oriented people?

I didn’t know.

I love Vegas.

Boo, Raiders!

-What happened?
-I’m the clown.

Boo, Raiders!

Am I barking or are you yelling?

I’m not barking.

-In my lane?
-Yeah.

[imitating screeching wheels]
No.

----ing eat this, b*tch.

-Okay.
-Sorry.

No, no, you’re okay.

I can’t bend down
with this dress.

Well, whose fault is that?

No, I don’t wanna grow up.

[others chuckling]

I don’t have respect for you.
Sorry.

I missed that last part.

[baby talk] Sorry!

Thank you.

-No, no, no, cross it first.
-Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, cross it like that,
and then around the ankle.

I want Victoria to go home.

Who do you want to go home?

Why are you so angry?
It’s a game.

Don’t let me go away.

Bye-bye.

Go [bleep] yourself.

Wes, I can talk Wes
to keep Larissa.

Victoria going into a banishment
ruffling feathers

is such horrific gameplay.

Best of luck.
You’re gonna need it.

[Larissa chuckling]

You have an evil laugh.

No one is trying to provoke you.

No, let me ----ing talk.

Now you’ve piss me off.
Shut up.

Lady!

Oh, my goodness.

Let’s save some of that energy
for the stronghold, shall we?

It is time for
your banishment ceremony.

Now head through
the bookcase immediately.

Baby, it’s time for elimination!

Y’all heard the voice?

There was just so
much that happened

in the last 30 minutes.
I’m so confused.

♪

There they are.

Look at this. Yeah.

All right. Oh, hi, New York.

-Hi, Joel.
-Oh, hi.

Look at you.

There he is,
King of the villains.

♪

Villains!

Welcome to your first
banishment ceremony.

Reveal the chairs!

[epic, tense instrumental]

[music sadly winds down]

[distant coughing]

Reveal the chairs!

All right,
here we go, here we go!

Oh, oh!!

[heavy thuds]

-Oh, that is heavy.
-They appear to be safe.

Wait.
That’s why you were scared?

Bringing back memories, yeah.

[screaming]

Larissa, Victoria,

one of you will be leaving us
tonight

and missing out on the chance
to win $200,000.

Please stand in front of our new
and improved prop chairs.

Victoria, do you have
anything you want to say?

I’m so grateful to be here.

This is like a dream come true,
and I hope my time hasn’t ended.

I want to share
so many more experiences.

I’m not an angel,
but I admit my -----ups.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Wrong show, honey.
This is not "The Bachelor".

I hope that I get to stay.

Larissa,
do you have anything to say?

Yes.

Okay. Larissa, what was
that Bible verse you said?

What verse?
In what verse? What Bible?

[laughing]

Amen.

[choral singing]

-[chuckling]
-Villains, it is time to vote.

Jessie, you are going
to be the first person

to head to
our secret voting booth.

Go ahead and take a seat, guys.

Victoria has two brain cells

and sometimes
they do not work together.

-Chairs look new this evening.
-Oh, they’re super nice.

Gah. This is super hard to do.

I already gave Victoria
my actual word.

♪

Victoria, girl.

Bye.

Larissa,
make sure you’re wearing a bra

because when you fly
out of here in that chair,

you’re gonna get
two black eyes, sweetheart,

because those t*tties
are gonna just

bust you all up in your grill.

Okay, guys.
The votes are in.

And by the magic of technology,

they have been transmitted
to my tablet right here.

Give me a moment to
complete today’s Wordle.

And...

-[typing]
-And...

I’m a genius.

With a vote of 5-2...

the first villain to be banished
from the house is...

Larissa!

Bye.

I feel like they choose
the wrong person.

Victoria is gonna backstab them
the first opportunity.

Safar, hello.

Be careful
who are feeding your area.

That’s it.
Bye, House of the Villain.

♪

Raider Nation!

Y’all, [bleepp] the Raiders.

Larissa, you are
the lesser of two evils.

[screaming]

Well, there you have it, guys.

That is our first
banishment ceremony.

My lord.

Um...

[gasping]

Bye, House of the Villains.

Next on "House of Villains"...

Tempers are flaring.

I think people need
to wake the [bleep] up!

Everybody’s on edge.

Oh, they’re playing games.

And this is
my mother---ing house.

We’re throwing you
a ’70s-themed fiesta.

This party is actually
your Battle Royale challenge.

What?

You a crafty [bleep].

-You a crafty b*tch.
-We worked it out. We’re fine.

[bleep] y’all.

Behold,
the dreaded knock-blocker.

Is this part of the show?