04x03 - Serving Time

[bunniefuu]

[somber melodic music plays]

This is all of Toby's medals.

This is Toby's Purple Heart.

He got this here

from injuries he got in Afghanistan.

We were really proud of Toby

when he got all these,

but I would gladly give them

all back just to have him back.

My name is Arunda Perkins.

I'm Toby Gregory's mom.

He did two tours of Afghanistan

back to back,

and it was really bad.

Toby was never the same

after that last tour.

The military just done something to him

and he ain't my Toby now.

[cryptic instrumental music plays]

[eerie instrumental music plays]

[bird squawks]

[music intensifies]

I am Toby Gregory.

I'm at the Jefferson City

Correctional Center

in the state of Missouri.

[music intensifies]

I was given a 24, uh, year sentence

for second-degree m*rder

due to diminished capacity

for PTSD.

[melodic instrumental music plays]

I was born, uh, July 16th, 1974.

I grew up in the small town

of Belle, Missouri.

There wasn't a whole lot to do there.

We went out to creeks and partied.

And I guess ever since then,

I realized that I like drinking.

In my teenage years, it got more so.

It didn't get totally out of control

until I

when I joined the military.

Uh, then that was the pastime.

[somber instrumental music plays]

I always thought about

joining the military when I was young.

But when I first got off the bus

at Marine Corps boot camp,

I was thinking, "What did I do to myself?"

Why Why did I want to put myself

through this?

But then, once I graduated,

I felt the sense of accomplishment

of earning the title as a marine,

and it It was great

for a while.

She took a personal interest in me.

And she did things to me that was not only

against policy, but against the law.

She would come in at gunpoint

and she would sexually as*ault me.

She would make me take Viagra

and have sex with her.

She actually physically choked me,

and I honestly believed that she

would have shot me and got away with it.

She took everything from me.

I felt weak.

And I reported this.

The things that I got was,

"Men don't get sexually assaulted."

Uh, "You should be glad

that she's having sex with you."

[music intensifies]

[downbeat guitar music plays]

[dog barking]

[cars passing]

[music intensifies]

[tense music plays]

I was deployed to Afghanistan in 2008.

[helicopter whirring]

I got assigned with the 2506 infantry.

We were on the supplier route

and we took fire,

rockets, basically every day.

December 15th, 2008

is where I got my traumatic brain injury

and received my Purple Heart.

[helicopter whirring]

I heard the launch of a rocket.

[rocket whistles]

It actually hit the bunker

that we would have been in.

[music intensifies]

And, and knocked me unconscious.

I was shaken up.

I was bleeding from the nose and mouth.

I couldn't regain focus.

I wasn't flown out

because they needed everybody there,

but there was reports

that I wasn't acting right.

[grim instrumental music plays]

The doctor did a couple MRIs.

She noted in my file that there is

substantial damage to my frontal lobe,

and she documented

that it was due to the deployments.

[somber melodic music plays]

There was a connection.

Because all my time in the military trying

to talk to somebody, nobody understood me.

I got the feeling

that people would think I was crazy.

But she didn't

because she shared the same experiences

and things in her life,

so I felt a connection.

Inez is being sent

to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri,

and I was retiring and coming home.

I moved up around St. Louis.

And finally me and Inez

got married in 2013.

[muffled horn honks]

I had problems adjusting to civilian life.

I wasn't really able to keep a job

or maintain a job.

And I was still trying to adjust.

[music intensifies]

I didn't want to admit

that I was breaking down.

[ominous instrumental music plays]

I don't remember anything from that day.

[music intensifies]

People that had seen me that day

said that they talked to me,

but I wasn't right.

[music intensifies]

[tense instrumental music plays]

And I had a lack of sleep, lack of meds.

Alcohol was involved.

[music intensifies]

[music crescendos]

[sirens wailing]

[somber melodic music plays]

[indistinct chatter]

I woke up the next day

handcuffed to a bed.

[indistinct intercom chatter]

I shot myself under the chin.

It blew my front teeth out.

All that's holding my face together

is metal plates.

[eerie instrumental music plays]

When they told me

that the person that was gone was Inez

[coughs]

It devastated me.

Because at first,

I was in complete denial.

And I guess, uh, still to this day,

I am.

[somber melodic music plays]

I loved her,

and I wouldn't [sighs]

I wouldn't have done it

without there being other variables.

And I believe

that my combat service and PTSD

was the cause.

I was proud to have served.

I was proud of everything

that I have accomplished.

But honestly, because of what happened,

I would not have served

one day in the military.

[car horn honking]

[man] For the past 24 odd years, uh,

I've had experience treating veterans

from a variety

of different combat exposures

from Afghanistan, Iraq, Vietnam.

I wish that this was an isolated case.

Unfortunately, when you look

across the United States,

they're happening way more often

than they should be.

My name is Dr. Steve Bruce.

In 2016, I was contacted

by Toby Gregory's defense attorney

to evaluate Mr. Gregory in jail,

uh, determine whether or not

his trauma history

may have become a part

of why, uh, his behavior became so erratic

that he ended up

sh**ting his wife that day.

[dogs barking]

[grim instrumental music plays]

I met with Mr. Gregory, uh, in jail

for several hours

in a room with just he and I.

No attorneys were present.

Mr. Gregory's medical records

were significant

for a trauma history

while in the military.

While in combat in Afghanistan, uh,

Mr. Gregory suffered

from a traumatic brain injury.

He stated that he started

to become more paranoid

such that he thought the soldiers

that he was working with

were becoming part of the enemy.

It puts, obviously, them at risk

and himself at risk

to the point where his commander

noticed that paranoia going on as well.

And they removed him

from active deployment

and sent him back home.

[somber melodic music plays]

When I asked him about the events

of the day of the sh**ting,

he indicated that he had

very little memory of the sh**ting itself.

He did indicate that he had been drinking

very, very heavily

prior to seeing his wife

and meeting her at the hotel.

The fact that he was intoxicated,

you're usually not going to remember

the events surrounding that

particularly well.

[bird squawks]

With his long history of alcohol abuse

in response to the triggers

that he's having,

I'm confident that these significant

psychological and PTSD symptoms

contributed to him sh**ting his wife.

If he did not have PTSD,

I'm certain this does not happen.

[cryptic instrumental music plays]

My job is not to excuse or justify

the crime that they have committed.

My job starts and ends

with the evaluation.

What happens after that

is up to the judge, the jury,

to determine the outcome.

[music intensifies]

I was expecting this case to go to trial.

I was expecting to be cross-examined

by the prosecutor.

I was expecting all of that.

So, the fact that a plea agreement

was made, uh, was surprising to me,

particularly

in a first-degree m*rder case.

[somber melodic music plays]

[birds chirping]

[woman] The district attorney

really, really, really let us down.

They agreed to a plea deal

without letting any of us know.

Why couldn't we have a trial by jury?

That would have been the only thing

that would have given us some peace.

Though it would've been a tough one,

that's what we were prepared to do

that was justifiable for Inez's m*rder.

My name is Tonya, and I'm Inez's aunt.

Inez and Toby lived here with me

for about three months

while they were searching

for a place to live.

They had a a little baby boy named Blake.

He was adorable.

Inez knew that I had concerns.

It was a sad

and very controlling relationship.

He told her how to dress,

how to eat, how to move around.

It worked on her sense of being

until she believed

that she wasn't good enough,

and that's how he hurt her.

Toby always threatened to hurt people.

Toby threatened to k*ll me to my face

as well as all of my family.

He told my stepdad and my ex-husband

that he would pick us off one at a time

from the road and sh**t us.

He didn't like us being involved with her

in any form.

He wanted total control.

Inez and I had many conversations.

I had encouraged her to try to leave

because I was worried for her safety.

She says, "I know, Aunt Tonya,

and I'm scared, too."

[eerie instrumental music plays]

Inez and Toby had agreed to a divorce

where they shared custody

of their child, Blake.

He had to have two weeks with Toby

and two weeks with Inez,

but it kept being complicated by having

a hard time getting Blake back from Toby.

Blake was used as a tool

to keep Inez in his life.

Toby was trying to take control

and that child away from Inez.

That was his goal.

So she moved back to New Mexico

to be around family,

and we convinced her to get legal help.

[grim instrumental music plays]

Inez showing up in court

with her own attorney

really angered Mr. Gregory

to the point of no return.

He was so livid with that

because he had lost control.

I shared text messages with Inez

the day that she was m*rder*d.

She told me he's gone crazy

and that she needed some help.

She was afraid.

[music intensifies]

[Toby] I don't remember what happened

the day of the sh**ting.

I loved her,

and

I think about the good things.

How much she loved the kids,

how great she was.

When they told me that

the person that was gone was Inez

[Toby coughs]

it devastated me.

Because, at first,

I was in complete denial.

And I guess, still to this day,

I am.

I loved her.

Mm

What a real piece of work.

Wow.

Boy, that angers me.

I can hear that slur in his voice.

He is lying through his teeth.

Toby took that life out of anger.

He didn't get his way.

He didn't get his way in court,

and he planned it all out,

without a doubt.

[blues-style music plays]

[man] I did not think

they were a good match at all.

I always felt like

there was something wrong.

I always felt like I should have probably

reached out to her a little bit more.

To find out the end result

was awful for me.

My name is Jesse Anderla.

I served with Toby Gregory

in the Army, uh, in Fort Carson, Colorado

back in 2009 to 2012.

[somber melodic music plays]

Toby didn't really have, uh,

a lot of friends, uh, other than me.

He kept to himself.

You know, I was surprised

that he even let me into his life.

We started going, like, fishing

every now and again,

or we'd go up into the mountains

and sh**t g*ns.

He was always a good guy to me,

and it was nice to have him as a friend.

When I first met Toby,

he told me that he was going through

his fourth divorce. [chuckles]

He was in his mid-thirties,

so I was like, "Whoa, like,

how in the heck?"

Like, how do you go through four divorces

in, you know, that short amount of time?

He was almost proud of it too.

Like, that's the crazy part about it.

[moody guitar music plays]

Me, Toby, and Inez

were all in Afghanistan.

Inez, she was a great soldier.

She was happy.

She was a great, great person.

Toby had told me that him and Inez

were essentially having an affair.

And it was honestly kind of shocking

when Toby told me that they got married.

You know, all of a sudden,

she's out of the military,

he's out of the military,

they're in Missouri,

they're getting married there,

and they had a kid.

I was just like, "Whoa, like, you know,

how is this gonna work?"

And I think I was, over the years,

his confidant.

I think that I was able to talk him down

from a lot of things

and to calm him down and everything else.

If he would have called me

and talked to me,

I think that I could have probably

prevented this from happening, honestly.

[grim instrumental music plays]

When the forensics evaluation came

from St. Louis,

he evaluated me in detail.

In that report, he stated that combat PTSD

played a part

in this sh**ting

and the sh**ting of myself.

I think it was a triggered PTSD response

with the stress, lack of meds.

That is what I feel.

That is what I believe.

It kind of pisses me off, not gonna lie.

It kind of pisses me off

that he's saying that

because there's people that literally

do have a lot of issues because of PTSD,

and to sit there

and blame this on PTSD is wrong.

So, like, with my PTSD,

I don't like being in crowds.

I don't You know, it's

It's scary for me.

My adrenaline goes,

and I start sweating, and I'm paranoid.

If I had a g*n in that situation,

I'm not gonna pull it out

and just start sh**ting people.

I'm not gonna drive across town

and be like, "I had a trigger.

Let me go in and sh**t somebody."

PTSD, it doesn't work like that.

Like, nobody

Nobody has a reaction for that long.

I love the guy, you know?

He's my buddy, my friend, right?

But no matter how much I love him,

he did this.

He committed a crime. He k*lled somebody.

[music intensifies]

[somber melodic music plays]

[man] To me, it was an open and shut case.

Toby Gregory got in his car angry

and took off headed towards Owensville.

It was first-degree m*rder.

I had no doubts about that.

My name's Randy Esphorst.

I was Gasconade County Sheriff

from 2004 through 2016.

[grim instrumental music plays]

When I arrived, I saw somebody being

loaded into an ambulance and taken away.

I went down to where the other victim was.

I took the blanket off,

and I saw a female.

Laying on her back

with multiple g*nsh*t wounds

mostly to the head.

While I was in the parking lot,

I happened to look up and I saw a camera.

So I went to the manager's office

and asked him,

"Do your surveillance cameras work?"

And he said, "Yes, it does."

[eerie instrumental music plays]

It's hard for me to watch

because I know what's going to happen.

[music intensifies]

He got out of that car, and there are

four other doors before you get to hers.

He just walked past those

and went directly to the end room.

We found blood in the room,

so we know that she was shot

at least once in there.

But she was still able to walk

out of the room,

and

then she just collapsed onto the ground,

and he just stands over her,

and he fires four shots,

and then kicks her in the head.

I mean, this is rage.

This is just out of control rage.

It's an execution.

I mean, there's no other word for that.

It's an execution.

[grim instrumental music plays]

It should have been first-degree m*rder,

and it should have been life.

Or it should have been

the needle in the arm.

[somber melodic music plays]

[man] It says in the Bible

that I'm not supposed to hate anybody.

I have a hard time with that one.

Because I have a lot of hatred and anger

inside of me for that person

[inhales sharply]

and I don't like the way

it makes me feel.

I'm John Tulk.

Inez was my only daughter.

When Inez came to me

and told me she was joining the military,

it kind of scared me

because Desert Storm was going on

and things like that.

But I felt real proud of her

because I knew that's what she wanted,

she wanted to serve her country.

And then she met Toby.

Yeah, I told Inez

that I didn't trust the guy

and I didn't feel right about the guy.

I had bad vibes, which I don't usually

have those with very many people, but

but he gave them to me,

and, uh, she said, "No, it's okay."

So, I said I told her just to keep

her eyes open and be real careful.

[grim instrumental music plays]

He was very insecure and cowardly,

and he would threaten people.

Well, not to their face,

but behind their back,

saying, I don't know,

"I I can k*ll anybody."

"I can get away with it

because I can claim PTSD."

That was one of his biggest things.

Get out of jail free card

is what he considered it.

I received a phone call

explaining that they had

signed a plea deal,

which really bothered me

because this man m*rder*d my daughter

in cold blood.

I told the lawyer on the telephone

that he told me how he could k*ll anybody

and claim PTSD

and he would get away with it.

The lawyer told me,

"Oh, I didn't know that."

I said, "Because you never called me."

They'd never called me

to ask me questions.

[birds chirping]

[somber melodic music plays]

Inez was, uh, the most important thing

in my life, and

to know I [gasps]

can never hold my daughter again

just tears me up.

[quavers] It hurts my heart

more than I could ever explain. It's, uh

I

I just miss my baby.

Man [sighs]

[sniffles]

[sighs]

[crickets chirping]

[grim instrumental music plays]

[train whistles]

[Toby] I can understand

why people might not believe

that I don't remember anything

from that day.

I don't know if I was on autopilot

or what was going on or

what my state of mind was.

And that is something that I'll have

to live with for the rest of my life.

Nobody is gonna punish me

more than I punish myself.

Um, every day, I'm reminded

by the scar on my face

that even though

I can't remember the events,

I know what took place.

Um, why I'm here.

[cryptic instrumental music plays]

PTSD, it's more of an immediate thing.

So, as soon as

Like, "Okay, this happened.

Now I have this reaction," right?

And then, once you're out of that moment,

it, you know, you start to calm down

and your adrenaline starts to drop.

If I had a g*n in that situation,

I'm not gonna pull it out

and start sh**ting people.

Like, nobody

Nobody has a reaction for that long.

I'm not gonna lie, it It hurts.

It hurts to hear him say that.

PTSD is not

an instant.

PTSD could last for days.

It's about the event that's taken place,

uh, where your mind's at.

I don't know what played out

from that morning till when this happened.

You can't say,

"Hey, if I had a g*n, I'm gonna

I'm not gonna do this."

How do you How do you know?

Because you've never been

in that situation where you had it.

[eerie discordant music plays]

I think I should be released.

I mean, I I want to be released.

Nobody wants to be in prison.

But my intention is not to just

to go back out and try to live my life.

My intention is to go to the VA Hospital.

I know what some people will say.

They will say that, "He shouldn't be out.

He should never be out."

Um

"If he did it once,

he's gonna do it again."

But this prison environment

is another b*ttlefield.

Treatment for PTSD

is non-existent in here.

I can't talk about things

that I'd done in combat

because they might take it the wrong way.

I've been told this,

that I can't mention none of this,

but this is what I need to talk about.

[interviewer] But if you're released

and you haven't had the treatment

that you say you need,

is that not dangerous

to let someone like you out?

It's

It's, um

I'm not

I'm not gonna answer that one.

[music continues]