04x04 - Baggy Bean Buddies/The Spanish Imposition

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Who's that girl? What's her name?
Is she cool? Is she lame?

Oh, you're talking about what's her name

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Is she lame? Is she cool?

Is she breaking every rule?
Is she anybody's fool?

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

-Who?
-GIRL: Is that that girl from gym class?

-BOY: No, that's me.
-GIRL: Oh

GIRL 2L: Who is she and why does she have
her own song?

BOY 2: Did someone take my lunch?

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann
She's like one in a million!

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!

Much too cool for seventh grade
No one's cooler than Pepper Ann!

-She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann!
-Oh, a glowing green stick!

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

[GULPS, EXHALES]

[BURPS]

-All right. I'm ready.
-Oh, geez, what time is it?

[GASPS]
I left a chicken wheel in the oven.

I can't feel my tush!

People, we are here to help
and support one another.

Now, if Pepper Ann
is finally ready to share,

we should listen.

Go on, dear.

My name is Pepper Ann.

ALL: Hi, Pepper Ann.

I haven't touched a Baggie Bean Buddy
in three hours,

-nine minutes and four seconds.
-[ALL CHEERING]

One bean bag at a time.

It all started a few weeks ago...

[CHUCKLES] That's all we need.

A bunch of freaks obsessed with bean bags
pouring into town

and taking our booth at Greezy 'n' Cheezy.

I bet the original
Mic Snot Baggie Bean Buddy

could sell for a thousand dollars
at Sotheby's.

Isn't it odd that people are willing
to shell out big bucks for a Bag of Beans

but no one'll donate the price
of a cup of coffee

to adopt a starving dolphin
in the mid-Atlantic!

I'm fine.

FEMALE VOICE: But Tina, we're twins.
Shouldn't mustard give me hives, too?

Guess who got a special something
for my special someones?

I know you girls aren't into these things

but we got them in at the mall,
and they were just so cute!

Cool. Tundra Woman
needs a new punching bag.

"My name is Gina Gingham.

"If you know any songs,
I'd sure like to sing 'em."

Oh, please!

-[GASPS]
-Don't freak. Mom bought this for me

and I didn't have the heart to tell her
how lame it was.

I'm gonna hit
the Baggy Bean Buddy Festival

and unload it on some kid.
I'll meet you at Brain Dead in ten.

My Mom bought me Funderwear once.

Underwear is truly the gift
that keeps on giving.

Oh.

[CHEERING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Aw, what a sweet little girl.

Listen, Bub, the original Marco Matador
has a red cape.

This is clearly maroon.
If you're trying to pull a fast one...

Hello, sweet lil girl!
How would you like...

Back off, lady! I was here first!

FEMALE VOICE: [GASPS]
Mercy me, is it true?

FEMALE VOICE 2: Oh, Gladys,
you've got to see this! A Gina!

-Don't toy with me, Myrna.
-[SCREAMS]

-[GROANS] Those people are crazy.
-I know.

Offering that pocket change
for a mint condition Gina Gingham!

I can outbid any of these home bodies.
What do you want for her?

Call me if you change your mind!

Or if you and Gina G. just want to
come over and hang by the pool!

[MOOSE GRUNTING]

-What'cha doing, Moose-meister?
-Tundra Woman's gotta keep in shape.

She never knows when Ice Thoron
and his clan of evil doers will attack.

But, look, a rolled up gym sock
is a better punching bag and it's...

white like the giant snow ba*ls
Tundra Woman has to, uh, kick.

[CHUCKLES] I'll just take
this little thing off your hands.

Not so fast, Peppie. I want two gym socks.

-Deal.
-[MOOSE CONTINUES GRUNTING]

You two are gonna make me a fast buck.

I'll finally be able to buy
that velvet Fuzzy painting

I've always wanted.

"Hi, Pepper Ann, I'm Tina Gingham,
and I love you!"

[LAUGHS]

You know, you're kinda cute.

Somebody forced me to spend the afternoon
beating Nicky at Crunch Pod

over and over and over...

and over again.

Embrace your minor victories, Milo.
They're all you have.

I'm fine.

[GASPS]

-What is the deal with these things?
-The craze has created incredible demand.

If you can find cheap Baggy Bean Buddies,

they're sure
to at least quadruple in price.

But still, such an inflated market
with no real base

is a dicey investment at best.
The bottom is sure to fall out soon.

True. Baggy Bean Buddies are just a fad.
Funderwear, however, is timeless.

PEPPER ANN: Tina, Gina,
this is Willie Work-Boots,

Sophie Sofa, and Sophie Sofa's sofa!

If you're nice
she might share it with you!

"No I won't!"

We should call her Sophie Selfish.

MOOSE: Peppie... you're not well.

[GASPS] Get that dripping mess
out of here! You'll ruin them!

She doesn't realize how valuable
you guys are.

Or how cute!

Okay, we've got Henry Haberdasher,
Bucky Big Ears,

Tiffy Tile Layer...

LYDIA: Peppie,
are you doing your homework?

Yes. Scotty Sockfoot,
Monica Moody, Barry Bootie...

-LYDIA: Peppie, did you shower yet?
-PEPPER ANN: Yes.

Timmy Trucker and Jessica Jammies.

-LYDIA: Peppie, are you in bed yet?
-Yes.

Pepper Ann,
why are you sleeping on the couch?

Mom. Listen, I'm a little hard up for cash

and I was wondering if you could swing me
an allowance advance.

I just gave you a three week advance
so you could finally buy

that velvet Fuzzy painting
you've always wanted.

You didn't throw it away
on those bean sack, did you?

[CHUCKLES] No, no, no, no.
Of course not. No.

Pepper Ann, I don't want you
wasting your money on those...

-Oh! I'd better get to school.
-It's 6:30 in the morning.

It's a league night at the h*-Bowl,

so Mom and Dirk gave me my favorite thing
for dinner... cash!

Greezy 'n' Cheezy on me?

Looks like someone's
already got the Greezy part down.

-Bleh.
-No, can't do.

It's Sarah Stocking's birthday.

She's been kinda down,
so we're throwing her a party.

Wasn't that yesterday?

Yesterday was Sophie's Sofa's birthday,

and I'll thank you
not to mix them up again.

Pepper Ann, I know that Baggy Bean Buddies
tend to increase in value,

but don't you think
you've taken this a bit too far?

You would reduce this to dollar signs!

I am two Buddies away
from completing my collection.

All I need is Betty Beehive and Mic Snot
and I'm the Baggy Bean Buddy Queen.

You hear me? I'm their Queen!

[HUMMING A TUNE]

How'd you afford so many of those things?

-Mm-hmm, the first one was free.
-There's something you should check out.

It's a support group for...
people like you.

[CHUCKLES]

What are you trying to pull, Mister?
These are Megablade Two Thousands,

and they're worth a whole lot
more than that!

Suit yourself. 20 bucks is my final offer.

[GRUNTS]

I'll be back for them.

When you wash my clothes
It's like a la-la prayer

Hello?

No! No!

[GRUNTS, GROANS]

Moose, go to your Aunt Janie's!
Your sister is teetering on the edge

and I've got to stop her
before she does something crazy!

-Okay.
-[GRUNTS]

PEPPER ANN:
What do mean you sold Betty Beehive?

Maybe you'd like to take a look
at Stanley Streetcar?

I have Stanley Streetcar
with and without the Stella tattoo.

[SCOFFS] Stanley Streetcar!

How could you do this to me?
I am one of your best customers!

Look honey, business is business.

Now hit the bricks.
This mall is closing in five minutes.

[GROANS]

I don't have that one yet! [CHUCKLES]

ANNOUNCER: Attention shoppers,
the mall is now closed.

-[SIRENS BLARING]
-[GASPS]

Put down the trash receptacle,
Pepper Ann. Nice and easy.

-What's happened to me?
-Oh, Peppie, it's all my fault.

I didn't know what it would lead to,
I swear.

They were just so cute!

I'm sorry, Mom. I'm just out of control.

Caught on a crazy roller coaster ride
with no brakes.

Barely living from one
Baggy Bean Buddy purchase to the next.

Blindly careening toward an uncertain...

-Nobody likes a drama queen, Peppie.
-Okay.

...and that's when I decided to come here.

-[APPLAUDING]
-Look at her.

You can see every ounce
of pain and suffering

that these infernal bags have caused.

Actually, I had 26 cups of Chillade.

Down the hall and to the left.

The one with the teapot
wearing lip gloss on the door.

I'm proud of you, Pepper Ann.

Yeah. It really feels good knowing
that hundreds of needy children

will get joy out of my Baggy Bean Buddies.

[JANIE CHUCKLES]

Who's their queen now, huh, suckers?

-Who?
-[TIRES SCREECHING]

FEMALE VOICE: Anyone going
to Fourth and Sequoia?

-FEMALE VOICE 2: Huh?
-FEMALE VOICE 1: C'mon. Someone is.

No!

What am I gonna do? The class is full.

Ah, the agony and ecstasy
of picking

a second semester elective.

I really wanted Music Appreciation.

Good choice. There is much to be learned
from the simple aria.

-Or the lively cantata.
-Learn-shmearn.

I wanted it
because it's taught by Mrs. Bach,

or "Mrs. Kick Bach"
as she is more affectionately known.

[GASPS] How about
an Intermediate Macaroni Art?

-Full.
-Interpretive Dance?

Sorry.

Like a tree in the wind.

I don't get it.

Why take a class
if you're not going to learn anything?

Nicky, the sole purpose
of the second semester elective

is not to learn.

The brain needs a slight respite,
if you will,

from the demands placed on it
by our other, more challenging classes.

-Ooh, how about Underwater Basket Weaving?
-[GRUNTS]

How come all the good classes
are always taken?

If you hurry,
you can still get into Spanish one.

-Oh, sign us up.
-Brain needs respite, Nicky!

Isn't there any way you could squeeze me
into Music Appreciation?

Not unless someone drops out of it
in the next two weeks.

So, will you drop the class?
I'll give you a Baggy Bean Buddy.

-I've got Dusty Porchlight.
-Please, that is so last episode.

Look at what we're getting for Spanish,
brand new textbooks!

[SNIFFS, EXHALES]

-Whoopie.
-And we have a brand new teacher!

I can't stand new teachers.

They come in with their new fangled ideas
and big city ways,

thinkin' they can change the world.

No. I'll take the good ol' grizzled ones,

just hanging on
till their pension kicks in.

I didn't know you were in this class.

-I'm not.
-Me either.

-Me either.
-[BELL RINGING]

Buenos dias, class.

Buenos dias, Señorita Vivas!

But I'm switching first chance I get.

-Me, too.
-Me, too.

Me, too.

Gracias.

Thank you for your warm welcome,
but I must warn you,

Spanish One is not one of those kick back
second semester siestas.

[ALL CHUCKLES]

First, I'd like everyone
to introduce themselves

and tell me why you chose Spanish One.

Como te llamas?

I'm Pepper Ann and...
Well, to tell you the truth,

I didn't choose Spanish One.

No offense,
I'm sure you're all nice people,

but, hey, I'm already taking French.

So, pardonnez moi, but the second a space
opens up in Music Appreciation,

it's hasta la vista baby! [CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES] Muy bueno, Pimienta Ana!

[BELL RINGING]

Oh...

Mmm. Mmm!

This is an authentic Spanish soup

that we learned how to make
in Spanish One.

-Can you say, gazpacho?
-Gazpach...

Drop Music Appreciation, Dieter.
You belong in Spanish One.

Next week, we're learning numbers,
nouns and how to prepare tasty empanadas.

Thank you for the gazpacho, but alas,
I cannot drop Music Appreciation.

Oh, Mrs. Kick Bach is the best.

[CHUCKLES] We're learning how
to clap our hands!

Adios, Dieter. Uh...

But the gazpacho was so spicy.

[GULPS] Oh, no, was it?

I said vamoose!

Whoa. I couldn't be this late.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

-Buenos dias! I'm glad you found us.
-What's going on?

Well, what better way
to learn about action verbs

than with a little action-packed football.

[ANNOUNCER CONTINUES SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

[GROANS]

-[WHISTLE BLOWING]
-[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

I love soccer.

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

Goal!

Isn't this the best?

We learned all about Flamenco
dancing in Spanish.

I bet this is a lot more fun
than Music Appreciation, huh.

-Sorry, Pepper...
-Ann.

-...but we just can't give up Music...
-Appreciation.

It's so kick back and Mrs. Kick...

Bach lets us appreciate
the new Flaming Snot CD...

-In class!
-[GROANS]

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

How could you possibly want to switch
to Music Appreciation now?

We've had fun every single day in Spanish.

Sure it may seem like fun,
but it's a second semester elective

and I can tell we are learning too much.

The real fun is in Mrs. Kick Bach's class.
You don't have to worry about taxing

your already overloaded brain
and you never have to worry about a...

-SENORITA VIVAS: Pop quiz!
-Pop quiz. Pop quiz?

Buenos dias, class.
Today's pop quiz will be a two parter.

Viva los pop examination!

Part one, one of you must be able
to crack open the pinata

while blindfolded.

Part two, you may gather the goodies,

but you can only keep those
that you can name in Spanish.

You're goin' down, el burro.
You're going down!

El caramelo!

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

[BULL BAWLS]

Don't you just love this?

We learned all about the running
of the bulls in Spanish One.

-[GASPS]
-[GASPS]

WAYNE: Oh, no.

That's our teacher, Señorita Vivas.

[SINGING IN SPANISH]

[HUMMING]

I bet you'd much rather be in Spanish.
Huh.

-[SNORES]
-Wayne! Wake up, wake up!

-NICKY: Wake up!
-MILO: Wake up!

My two weeks are up.

If I don't get someone to drop
Music Appreciation today,

I'm stuck in Spanish One
for the rest of the semester.

I can't believe you still want
to get out of Spanish.

For the last time,
I'm already taking French.

I don't need to know
every single language in the world.

But Señorita Vivas
makes learning Spanish so much fun!

PEPPER ANN: Please Milo.

You'd take ditch digging
if Señorita Vivas taught it.

Guilty as charged.

I, for one, am not so easily influenced.

Then why are you dressed exactly
like Señorita Vivas?

Coincidence.

Uh, I've gotta get to Wayne Macabre
before class starts.

Adios amigos!

Out of my way, perro.

El banco!

La farmacia!

El buzon. [GASPS]
La oficina de correos.

La boca de riego.

La luz roja.

Admit it. You're learning Spanish
and you've never had so much fun.

-Silencio. [CHUCKLES]
-[MUFFLED VOICE]

-Hey, I am having fun.
-[MUFFLED VOICE]

La escuela. El arbol.

La flor, las mellizas, el cielo,

la camioneta, el payaso viejo,

la bandera, la ventana...

El gato!

Aww.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

-Maybe I can help.
-You... you blade?

Si, it's how I get to school every day.

Yo tambien! Me too!

[CHUCKLES]

Well, that ought to do it.
Coming to class?

I'll be discussing Picasso,

a Spanish artist who revolutionized
the art world

with a new style called cubism.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

Pepper Ann Pearson?
Turn in your Spanish book

and report to Mrs. Bach immediately.
You got into Music Appreciation.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

I finally decided to take you up
on your most generous offer.

So, what yummy Spanish treat
is on ze menu today?

A traditional paella, perhaps,

accompanied by a crisp tortilla
de patat... [SCREAMS]

[CHUCKLES] Obviously,
there has been some mistake.

I would never dream of dropping Spanish
for some kick back class.

I mean, the sole purpose
of the second semester elective

is to learn something new
and, call me loco,

have a little fun while you're at it.

Wait! I want to join ze fiesta!

I live for ze flavor kaleidoscope
you call chorizo!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES]