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02x22 - Danger Is Our Business

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Biker Mice from Mars". Aired: September 19, 1993 – February 24, 1996.*
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Show follows three anthropomorphic mice motorcyclists named Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie who escape a w*r on their home planet Mars before arriving to rebel on the Earth against the species that destroyed their homeland and to one day return to Mars.

02x22 - Danger Is Our Business

Post by bunniefuu »

vinnie the great one that's his man at

the blue line takes the slap shot

oh mag we'll roll a hockey madness time

for a face-off face-off

[Music]

facing the face off

[Music]

hey hey take it easy or take it outside

[Music]

oh he'll lose the tail check he shoots

[Music]

oh hey but the crowd does not go wild

yeah that look was sudden death hey why

the glare scared charlie girl i don't

know which is more broke guys this

garage or me i got debts piling up and

no way to pay him off you guys messing

up my garage has not helped me

oh

i'm gonna go lie down it's been one of

those days

mega guild city bros

i kind of feel sort of responsible yeah

you know we're gonna have to pony up for

the damage amigos yeah with what you get

an allowance these days well there's

only one responsible course of action

don't say it don't say it oh i got a bad

feeling about this

we're gonna have to get

uh jobs

find your voice from ours

[Music]

i foreign

[Music]

[Music]

oh man it stayed right

we were born to ride free a ride and

freeze a whole lot different from a free

ride vincent i mean somebody's got to

pay for the picks up of charlie's garage

let's see here sewage inspector toxic

waste taster oh man it's the pits hey

hey

wait a second bro check this out let me

see

director jack romano seeks stunt

cyclists for his action-adventure movie

filming in chicago and it stars rod van

ham rod van gaam

snack a motorcycle machismo did you see

blowing up part two awesome yo bike

[Applause]

oh i can just picture me gunning my

[Music]

the audience is listening

oh man

[Music]

i'll be

jack

no that's wrong i'm sorry oh wait are

you my i'll be i'll be mac no i'll be

i'll be on the flagged no wait

oh don't tell me i i do know it it'll

it'll come to me it's um

back cut back yeah that's it i'll be

back

you thick-headed

why must the genius of my cinematic

stylings always be compromised by

imbecilic actors i am not an actor i am

an action star

actually you're an adult asinine idiot

with all the talents of her tortoise

[Music]

call my special effects crew now

[Music]

there they go just like the boss said

let's bust their budgets

autographed already good thing lindbergh

would give these g*ons a day off

sometime hey they know stars when they

see them well let's make sure they see

triple split froze

[Applause]

hey bro

about operations

one of my favorites

ouch man that's bad bro

um

[Music]

[Music]

so

[Music]

anything to say before we blast you

quack quack quack

[Music]

looks like your duck hunt laid an egg

boys

[Music]

while you're starting we gotta go get

discovered

that last scene was a complete and

utterly unmitigated disaster look at

that building decimated demolished

destroyed

it was beautiful uh but why can't these

be making a movie

i don't get it you perforated pustule

allow me to explain

as a film producer i can act

irresponsibly destroy entire

neighborhoods blame it all upon faulty

pirate technicians

yeah and everyone will think it's part

of the movie boy i love showbiz yes it

does sing with a certain horter's vision

doesn't it now scene 27a the helicopter

lands rather heavily on the roof of the

warehouse mr limburger

yes the biker mike's got bias boss

they're on the way to your sh**t

[Music]

just as i anticipated when i planted

that ad a chance to destroy chicago and

those blasted mice as well however it

appears they have slipped past my

security specialists

see to it that those treadmill transfers

have a featured role in this scene

in your own amusingly limited vernacular

my dear boy

blast and biker mice

we're gonna be stars more importantly

we're gonna be able to pay charlie girl

back for damage in the garage yeah so

let's go find this romano guy and strut

our stuff

if their mices want to get into show

business

they're gonna have to you know ten

percent let's have lunch baby maybe

grease a few pumps

cue the copter

[Music]

[Music]

advertising but this is ridiculous

writing's on the wall bros let's toast

this cheesy air now

[Music]

this isn't a description

[Music]

[Applause]

well just doing our bid for urban

beautification

let's motor bros we still got to make

the casting call

[Music]

hey guys

where are you

guys

no way

the mice working

this i gotta see

[Music]

we're ready for the building blast are

the pyrotechnic preparations proceeding

properly

one moment your parmesan producerness

[Music]

you say that a few innocent citizens may

lose their homes in this shop but

sacrifices must be made for art

[Music]

now

ready on the set

right the vermin appear to have

vanquished my oil-bearing associate hey

there mr romano

you don't know it yet but we're your new

stunt cyclist yeah yeah cause you need

the best besides we need the gig

nonsense

how do i my own stunts

[Music]

see

yes well

i'm dreadfully sorry but i'm afraid we

can't employ anyone without a resume

well hey you want resumes

we got our resumes right here show them

bros let's rock

annihilate those applicants

[Music]

wow

they're putting us through quite a test

that's just special effects

real special well let's give him a show

now

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

reference is available upon request you

know mister some of your effects are a

tad too realistic you know what i mean

well you wandered unauthorized into a

pyrotechnics rehearsal well after all

that i figure you owe us the job

i'm afraid all the positions have been

filled now please leave the set so we

can demolish it or i'll have you removed

catch that rank weak bros yeah sweetie

left which fish do we should go back

down him and stop his action

i want this edifice exploded

[Music]

60 seconds to building destruction

destruction there are citizens in that

building oh let's rock and rescue

[Music]

crew remove those meddling morons from

the set now

[Music]

hey check it out guys

packing a tooth well let's play through

i think i'll use my five iron one two

three four five

[Music]

do i have a knack for command or what

[Music]

whoops

[Music]

um i don't think i hit my mark

can we please do another take

these three cyclists today performed an

amazing real-life stunt rescuing would

be victims of a horrible special effects

accident let's pound that cheese ball

right now who can do bros limburger's

got permits and there's too many

uninformed witnesses the cops would bust

us not him the best thing we can do now

is hang tough and keep the damage

minimal we'll get our chance

so tell us mr romano what steps have you

taken to ensure there are no more

accidents during the sh**t

oh well he's hiring us to keep an eye on

things at an extremely generous salary

is this true mr romano you've hired

these three heroes to handle your stunt

work um

yes

absolutely can't put a price on safety

and all that hmm excuse me a moment ciao

[Music]

but bear in mind it must appear

artistically accidental

[Applause]

creative destruction is my fault

i want their next time to be so exciting

so dangerous that those mice never work

in this town again

literally

[Music]

well my dear doctor have we crafted a

suitably creative demise for those biker

mice meddlers

your cream-filled center-ness good

describe it to me in lurid detail the

guy's trailer should be here somewhere

and then the mice parachute from ten

thousand feet through a hail of enemy

fire has potential i like it

and if they survive that

the mice against rod van ham

how could that puff muscled poser be the

slightest threat

[Music]

[Music]

now these are what i call action

accessories fitting for a hero i told

you i would be slack

[Music]

i thought you said he'd be perfect

i'm a scientist not a miracle worker

stand aside

my fans wait

oh

deliciously delectable doctor now

destructively demolished downtown whilst

i downsize the stunt mice department

hey guys open up it's me charlie

[Music]

hey

charlie

check it out babe we're stars now about

making a scene forget it vinny i dated a

movie star once he was an egotistical

jerk well i bet you wasn't anyone

awesome enough to have worked with rod

van ham he was rod van

ham van gaal

he's a legend yeah in his own mind kind

of like somebody else i know

well surely you don't mean

and that lumpy lungfish limburger's

gonna stick them on you guys van ham's

coming after us

yo

don't worry rod's all showing no go he

got voted most likely to wimp out in

high school but that director is

limburger in disguise i know it the

stunts are a trap hey don't sweat it

sweetheart we know so you're not gonna

jump yeah we gotta jump charlie girl

yeah as soon as we do a stunt

limburger's gotta pay us then we can pay

you guys you're worth more to me than a

whole garage don't do this on my account

hey we pay our debts charlie girl come

on let's do it

i hate it when they act like this

yeah first recorded planet without a

spaceship this will get a record for

sure let's rock and ride

rip cords

seems about right what a lovely recipe

rat pancakes

k*ll the cannons

[Music]

[Applause]

improv time bros swinging

[Music]

if one can call him

whoa this is the guy charlie said was a

wimp she must have come to some tough

school

afraid we got to recast this scene and

take this guy out

[Music]

now this is going to be a movie time to

limit this release

i'd like to thank the academy

talk about your bulletproof egos

[Music]

excuse me mr ham how about an action

shop close up

[Music]

oh bros looks like a bummer ending hey

rod

remember me

miss congeniality you dumped me for

cindy

on prom night it's payback time

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

man remind me not to take her off

somebody call my agent

[Music]

wonderful work gentlemen it's a take

well sweetheart the only thing we're

going to take from you now is our

paycheck oh

i'm afraid all i have is cash

cool because your credits are rolling

time for the big fade out them burgers

yeah we're pulling the plug on this

production

i fear you're too late my eerie enemies

you see the good doctor is headed

downtown with the detonation devices

even as we speak we gotta cut that scene

bros we'll settle your stink later

member let's ride

go get him guys

ah that felt good

[Music]

those repulsive furballs are on our tail

on the box for immediate detonation yeah

oh goody

hey

i love a chase long as it doesn't b*mb

let's get this one short bros now

[Music]

[Music]

just like the 5th of july i want to be

alone

hey we're sorry about your garage

charlie girl

but this should buy some new wallpaper

wallpaper

man i could build the taj garage with

this much dough you guys should get

full-time jobs man we're going to retire

from the movie business retire

why no challenge stunt works too easy

yeah too easy on us

too hard on this city

hey what can we say sweetheart it's a

mouse thing

[Music]

everybody everybody isn't that's the end

people

i love showbiz

[Music]