02x08 - The Small Fork is for Dessert (Unless You're a Dolphin)

[bunniefuu]

now the nifty new national call-in show

loves revs hi our topic today greets

Calvin and Orlando you're on the air

little staticky there Calvin you on a

cellphone wait a minute

Calvin are you a dolphin huh

well according to my dolphin English

dictionary you think coral reef fish are

tasty and you're inviting me to visit

you in Orlando

well thanks Calvin okay our next caller

is someone named grandma you're on the

air hello Ruffy but you can't call me

sometime I have to call your radio show

oh it's you grandma I want to know why

you haven't had the good manners to RSVP

to my tea party invitation I mailed you

weeks ago well I I never saw it I mean

after all I have to sort through a lot

of fan mail grandma oh so now I am fun

inviting you and inviting that nice

dolphin instead what gotta go TIA

there's a cat grooming call-in show on

another channel that I never miss well

it's gotta get grandma to change your

mind

but how life was missing its mystique my

squeaky toys is lost their squeak and

then out of the blue I saw the phone and

bam my destiny was calling me

it's my vision for a show they loved it

but I wasn't proud they got my contract

back to find the very arm a dog inside

[Music]

I didn't wait to renovate town six

contestants over great canal I'm on the

road to fame I've got a game show

entertaining

it's very catchy it was off the tongue

sorry right tell me why we get testing

it and here come the contestants now

she won jumped off a really high leg

good thing doing water balloons Nina she

speaks Hebrew but just a little shallow

Mattie she won't solving puzzles for a

minute dancing and frustrated prison

he will not absolutely won't eat

spaghetti bar Willie he one's got to say

if he a mongoose

no he by picasso michelangelo donatello

these are artists enjoyed by Rosario

let's get an update on the scores we

have a two-way tie for fifth Rosario and

Willie are there with 455 points in

fourth place Maddie with 485 points his

third place fringes with 505 points

second place goes to Hina with 500 is 15

points and holding on to the top spot we

have Mike with 555 points ah my most

esteemed guest how lovely to see you

again on fetch thank you so much for

coming

what do you doing what happened or what

I'm trying to work on my manners was

that a little better

my grandma grandma what it's not nice to

talk about somebody behind the back hi

grandma wow dude listen kids I love my

grandson to pieces but his manners are

terrible I'll only let him come to my

party if he gets some etiquette lessons

yes I'm not taking any lessons okay kids

you heard him you'll have to take the

lessons for him challenge number one the

let's jumper and the hot love oh you

mean Nina and Rosario yes yes I've

already called Harriet Cole a lovely

lady

she knows her manners now you talk to

her Ruffy I just downloaded their

instruction Sophie it's here and send it

to your mailbox singing whatever alright

Diaz go retrieve it now grandma grandma

is go back

[Music]

here's the deal for challenge number two

Willy you're gonna be a door-to-door

lease salesman oh come on it's

interesting here a nice dolphin invited

you to visit him in Orlando you could at

least have the manners to send a

contestant in your place but for Grandma

and flying first class

oh that's crazy

great Laura okay Willy go and do the

best and what about the three

contestants sitting here in your garage

it's not a garage grandma Mike Madi and

Bridget have stayed behind in the studio

this week but they'll be eligible to win

points during the halftime quiz show

so is that therapy don't worry grandma

we have the fetch fairness guarantee all

the contestants will have competed for

the same number of points by the grand

finale for the three kicked out of the

challenges of the 100 points are at

stake in the triumph tally so what are

we waiting for let's catch up with

Rosario welcome to the hotel and a

second too soon

Wow swanky place hey then must be hairy

anacott couch hi I'm Harriette how are

you I heard that Russ really needs some

help with his manners it seems to be a

big problem my manners have never been a

problem to me anyway I'm going to teach

you about etiquette and you're going to

be able to put it all into practice

because you're going to learn how to

plan and host your own party and

remember ruff needs a lot of help you

have to pay very close attention so that

you can teach him all these things

you'll need to pay very close attention

kilrathi ever you say grandma

what is etiquette means etiquette is an

old fashioned terms are basically good

manners have you ever planned a party

before ok how do you think you can do it

our learning proper etiquette isn't so

bad they just have to throw a party how

can that be I just remembered I said

Willy to Orlando but I don't have a

challenge for him yet I better call

Calvin the dolphin before really gets

there hello keep it in the tank there a

new fish I want a mammal oh there you

are hey gentlemen ruff Ruffman here

thanks for the heart attack yeah I know

I know I thought I'd be taller

listen I'm sending Willy to meet you is

that ok I couldn't make it down there

myself

listen I need a challenge for him do you

have any ideas what about a tap-dancing

challenge would that work oh yeah not

really fair to dolphins is it oh I guess

humans are superior to dolphins in every

way oh you don't think so oh well ok

then how about the ultimate human versus

dolphin rough match excellent remember

Willy's just a human being and a young

one so you don't go easy on him ok no

that's the spirit this is a game show

after all all right Calvin good luck on

your match nice kid like that

competitive streak ahh

there's Patrick he's the head dolphin

trainer at the Living Seas at F Patrick

I really I understand we're going to be

doing a few challenges with Calvin today

huh yeah that's right Willy's going to

get in the tank and compete against

Calvin we'll see who can swim the

fastest hold their breath the longest

and jump the highest

oh we actually get into those challenges

why don't we a little bit about Dawson

that's a good idea first son of your

opponent dolphins are mammals they are

not fish you and I are consider mammals

cats dogs and horses consider mammals

all mammals are warm-blooded and these

guys maintain constant body country

about 98 degrees Fahrenheit the other

characteristics shared by all mammals is

the fact that they don't lay eggs they

nurse their young with milk they have

here in their body at some point in

their lives if I look at Calvin and say

I don't see any here however this is

where the hair was located when the

Dolphins are pushed forward a couple

days or a couple weeks after the birth

the hairs fall out

wow they go bald early good thing is

that a feature shared by all mammals and

the last characteristics shared by all

mammals is the fact that they breed in

just like that additive Louisville

that's quite large it's actually bigger

than ours okay so this should be a

pretty fair challenge Willie and Calvin

both have a lot in common they're

mammals all right my friend what do you

do as a gentleman and two ladies

standing at a table with you you know my

reporting carries last day okay you

forgot about me Harriet I think were you

everyone here I would like that very

much thing are you a bear oh sorry I

ready to eat thank you

Oh shrimp Ruffy you drooling sorry

grandma okay let's pick up our amplitude

part of a ranking here we go it's apple

juice grandma come on

the way did you pick up stemware is by

the stem and all that doesn't look so

tough at all

you feel comfortable well this is how

dogs drink Appleton look grandma no Han

what what I did what would you like to

taste that trip oh I know I won't agree

a little watercress very nice not a lot

of food on that plate I'm not digging

that that was a normal-sized choices

rather not in my book all right the

indicator for them to know that you're

finished is everything at three o'clock

which is across your place

what is that wait and now it does oh I

can do that come on Rosario you can do

it with your silverware and three

o'clock so the waiter knows you're done

okay time to check in with Willie the

speed test Willie and Calvin are going

to swim around the perimeter of the tank

whoever finishes first wins

this is a speed challenge on the count

of three ready Willie's gonna take this

one here comes the race there you go

and they're off there goes well II there

was count them really goin

damn without stairs talvik going to lead

me down his back even make it easier for

Willie go I'm really going back but look

at Calvin come on well he don't give up

keep going okay now that I have second

and Willie keeps going Willie keep going

good job Calvin great job Calvin you

know what Willie you're better off you

would have been fed a raw fish and

Willie nice job you did great and gave

it a great effort minute 58 pretty not

bad Willie

don't worry buddy there's two more

challenges

nice job here's the fist for you as

positive reinforcement way to go

positive reinforcement have a fish yes

Calvin vichyssoise you know what that is

close to his oh good

let's go blue utensils for eating are on

the left and right of your plate and

what's safe to assume is that you go

from the outside in going in with each

pound so it is a shrimp and if you

thinning and correct do you know how to

eat soup yes or does it all just work it

out fake crap what that's not the way to

do it

well Rosario what you think hold cold

and uh Nina wait what happened there

back it up hey is our spoon you

know you weren't supposed to do that

ain't I got busted

next course but ladies yummy how pretty

it is you can take a small bite put your

knife down please

thank you so you put a small amount in

your mouth

what do you do in some meeting you're

easily so sorry oh it's much better if

you eat in smaller bite and you

participate in the conversation at the

table big bite that's how you suck tea

and hungry rappy and not paying

attention I'm getting upset whoo your

firmness oh man that's some good-looking

dessert sorry you don't think you're

holding that fork right

Rosario I know if you are supposed to be

teaching rough etiquette not eating like

[Music]

Rosario I think we both need some work

hi Rach Ruffman here back in studio G

with Maddie Mike and Bridget yeah so I

think it's time for you guys to earn

some points of your own during the

halftime quiz show

yeah let's brush up on the rules of

course as we often like to do here 50

points are available work as a team you

have 90 seconds to answer as many

questions as you can ten questions

available at five points apiece are you

ready yeah then let the quiz begin

the name of my dolphin friend is Talent

yes dolphins breathe through what part

of their body correct

what body temperatures your dolphins

maintain 93 sorry all right

typical dolphin are not fish true or

false false true true to their male

excellent

what is fishy swamp if you swap so what

kind of super cool awesome here's a

puppy name the five characteristics all

mammals share okay they breathe air

they feed Oh No thank you though yeah

they have hair hair hair at some point

and only 100 billion on what part of a

baby dolphin would you find fur

alright who has more lung capacity

dolphin for human which invested the

raspberry on his own

what's your pencils do you first the

ones on the outside of him

Wow and now what it's just going to let

them stay in your garage while two of

their friends have a party ah welcome

your on so good show grandma

it was the break well a bad man is what

it is look here I'm inviting all three

of you to the party

ah now if you go now you'll have time to

put on something nice okay so go don't

go have a good time so challenge number

two is repin okay here's a chance to try

again Willy no swimming here well I'm

going to do comfortably hold your breath

under the water for as long as you can

oh I got a good feeling about this well

ready once we go 3d press don't hold it

Willy

Marie hold the camera steady fifteen

seconds hey wait a minute that's not

fair thomas malthus out of the water

oh wait can only breathe through his

blowhole we'll ease off in 29 second

quarter Joe Calvin's to hold his breath

oh so it looks like Calvin may have won

this one Thank You Alan good job nice

breath as well and this head-to-head

with a dolphin challenge is tougher on

Willy than I expected should have had

him go up against Murray alright we're

ready for the third challenge Willy that

challenge is still gonna see who can

jump the highest out of the water

maybe Willy can win this one I've seen

him jump he's got a great vertical we're

gonna start out with Calvin first we'll

let him go first and then you can go as

well ready Calvin here we go on the

count of three one two three go guys

watch Alvin yeah yeah dolphin jumping in

the air like

that'll happen Oh 16 hi

well he's not even sick so my cell I

stopped that's awesome okay your turn is

next this may be the most unfair

challenge I have ever issued I feel

guilty

1 2 3 go there Jose come on Willy come

on Oh hip-hop oh my god good work not

too bad good either

dolphin three human zero yes well let's

check back in with our well-mannered

fetchers Nina and Rosario you have a lot

to do you have to make your guest list

and you have to tell them we're having a

party today I want you to get to it and

I'll check back in with you in a little

bit what's going on guys

Brad and a party bring your family bring

anyone why not good afternoon delivery

for Nina and Rosario Wow grandma you

said this to them cause I did see it

it's for the partners you do a doc see

cuz they have so much doctor well you

certainly can't have a cat theme with

all that dog stuff oh good doggie bags I

saw some hey you guys we have a theme

yeah I dogs don't same you have a party

for us and I never what do you think

would be the perfect food for a dog

themed party oh now it's time to discuss

the menu my favorite part it's hot it's

long Wow hot dogs really what happened a

filet mignon and a fancy dessert Ruffy

you can't afford anything like that

you said Willie to Orlando first class

my grandma that was your idea what we

need to do next is take all of your

grape centerpieces and goodie bags to

the party location because we don't have

very much time you have to get the party

location ready and I'll change clothes

let's get going right now you ready okay

come on come on

so if I see a dolphin like just in the

ocean can I go up to edit no you

wouldn't want to touch a dolphin out in

a while it actually gets the law in the

United States to try to do so can be

dangerous for the Dolphins it can also

be dangerous for people it's kind of

make sense that Calvin won all those

challenges because he's built for life

in the water and of course you and I are

built for life on land is that a very

streamlined body doesn't mean Willy yeah

maybe we'll turn the switch to the water

very quickly tiger watching exactly and

today I can take a look at this

flipper here called the pectoral tripper

and it helps to maneuver the animal

through the water

yeah like web clothes I should use those

in primates and again yes a rematch of a

speed test that's a great idea

Willy can learn what makes Calvin so

fast and then use that information to

make himself faster let's take a look at

the Dolphins carefully you can see how

nice and wide and broad that tail fluke

is and they just move that up and down

through the water navels them three to

Mexico speeds about 20 miles per hour

Haley so why we have the first legs and

fences that's right flippers would be

good we're talking earlier about the

fact that they have hair right here but

he no longer has the hair because the

hair probably would just slow him down

so something we can do to any alleviate

that I got it well shave Willie dead

calf on that's what like razors do even

better idea and it won't upset as barren

this is where the party is

oh wow nice place okay guys come on

we're going to set up the table so even

though we're rushing take your time the

final hats are on the table are you

ready to get dressed

yeah okay let's go

okay now it's finally time for the party

your Crenshaw tables are set and they're

ready to greet the guests okay check one

check two six three this is my dad

everybody family Michael look at here

was REO while Ross gets the party

started

only drink with the stem of your glass

never Saul no elbows on the table

napkins fruit plate very nice I think

there's a fruit fork and as instructing

our guests on which work to you I

doesn't look so tough at all call people

up and buy them greet them show them how

to use the fork piece of cake all right

Willie

you've got your modifications on okay

it's time for Calvin to face the new and

improved Willie on the count of three

here we go one two three go oh great

start this time by Willie Oh

Danny's going fast look out that

Willie's going definitely an improvement

don't let go don't don't even pay

attention to Calvin just keep going all

right Calvin Bennett across the tank one

he wants to go around again

don't go down and Calvin is laughing

Willie again showoff now let's see how

it says the Willie is don't baby he is

really moving all right Calvin is

finished

he has it's vigilant job Willie's gonna

keep going he's got to finish because

he's a trouper 1 minutes 31 seconds yeah

27 seconds shaved off his time wow those

modifications really work Calvin Europe

in a lot better shape than her up my

grandmother's in better shape than me

Willie okay let's not point out the

obvious go ahead and give Calvin nice

way goodbyes he did great and so did you

great job now the battle on I Calvin

nice job

here we go stiffness what it really wet

now get this one

yes but don't you think it's a shame

that all of Willie's friends are going

to be at a party without the brace

grandma

I mean Willie would have to jump on the

next plane to make it to the party on

time he wouldn't even have time to

change out of his bathing him doll and

put me on speakerphone where you cruise

hello Willie can you hear me on this big

assist on

all I hear welcome Alex and Rosario

would mean I'm having a party and they'd

like you to come can you make it out

I'll be right over

I've arranged for a private jet to pick

you up all right all right thank you

yeah

come upstairs again take care of God

what is that a shock I wanna welcome you

to our party in honor of ruff Ruffman so

let's give them a round of applause

[Applause]

oh please please don't stop clap for me

all right keep going Italian law men I

have taken Calvin down in the tank but

he set an all-time speed record making

it back to this party I told you you

would make it on time I should be

wearing a tie don't you think grandma

he's had a long day he looks good looks

good

everybody's chewing with their mouths

closed here comes the hot dogs favorite

part oh that looks delicious everybody's

smiling everybody gets fun I'm sitting

here in the studio by myself well except

for you blossom don't count on a hug and

I get in it you thought I wasn't still

here this Rosario totally busted with

half a hot dog hanging out of your mouth

all right let's welcome back Rosario

Nina Willie Madi Bridget and Mike and

Goins

all right g*ng are we ready for some

points this may be the best-dressed

triumph tally ever and that includes you

Willie I like your bathing suit thank

you thank you

now Willie's dolphins can swim up to 20

miles per hour for being undaunted by

this fact and racing one anyways 20

points well Calvin did read what we're

improving your time in the race by

making yourself more dolphin like with

those spine flippers another 15 points

now Willie

you'll never be a dolphin but you jumped

like one not too bad 30 points yeah

thank you and for sharing his reward

with Calvin not that I thought Willie

would take a bite 15 points for a grand

total of 80 pointer fingers REO Nina and

Rosario for trying new foods and not

spitting them out 30 points and four

excellent party planning and playing

host and hostess with a plum wanna

welcome you to our party 35 points and

for learning lots of etiquette rules and

keeping your elbows off the table 10

points for a grand total of 75 points

but now wait a minute is is that all the

points a dog can give

no can you tell grandma Ruffman what the

time is

yes that's right grandma bonus point

time one of the fetchers today lost

three contests but he didn't mode he was

a good sport and that's good manners and

then also 5.0 Willy you're racing a

cheetah next week kidding

and with 85 points Willie is today's

winner

families I have here two identical bowls

of vichyssoise and as is always the case

with two bowls of soup an awesome prize

is only under one of them so which is it

going to be vichyssoise Oh Barbie oh

that's a quick decision all right Willy

you will find your prize in the mailbox

for most prizes go that's right oh look

at good

you'll beat Calvin one day Willy just

keep paddling well my fine sophisticated

fetchers that brings us to the end of

another wonderful episode of fetch with

ruff Ruffman until next time keep your

elbows off the table

[Applause]

[Music]

so Ruffy have you learned a lot about

manners and etiquette today definitely

grandma I am a much more well-mannered

dog now

well if that were true you would have

introduced me to your track friends by

now very much it's just my hem turn and

a cat you clearly haven't learned your

manners yet blossom puppy you come to my

party instead of ruff what's for Grandma

ah hello is this the cat grooming

calling joke what's the trick for

getting cat hair off the furniture

good give it up

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

you