- Don't look at the camera!
- My bad!
And don't laugh, or they'll be able
to tell it's for a film.
I'll say: "Camera, action!"
and as soon as I say this,
you wait for 5 seconds,
I say "go", you pull out the g*n,
and you run off...
Hold on, so I wait for 5 seconds,
and then "go"?
I say "camera, action",
it's very simple, look.
- I say "camera, action" then...
- Camera, action...
I...
You wait for 5 seconds.
I say "go", you pull out the g*n,
and you run off. Got it?
Which way do I go? With the g*n...
Pull out the g*n and run off.
- Like, I aim and I run?
- Exactly... Um...
Run!
- Check the time on your watch.
- I don't have one.
You didn't bring a watch? sh*t.
Did you tell me to?
Yes, I told you to, I guess.
Anyway. It's fine.
So, just look at...
Stare at nothing.
- I pretend or I look at nothing?
- Uh...
- Can I do this, from behind.
- Yes, why not!
Great!
No, it doesn't work.
Can you hear them...
Do you think we hear the noise?
We can definitely hear it.
Yep!
- We can totally hear you though.
- Really? So, I go?
Yep, but we can see the cable.
Um, yep but that's fine.
The cable doesn't matter.
So here we go.
3, 4...
Good morning everyone,
Tim speaking.
So today,
I'm so glad to introduce you
to the making
of my 4th short film.
And so, it's for a very special event
which is the
Occitanie Web Film Festival.
It's a short film
that I hold close to my heart
because I want to pay tribute
to the American spy films
that I used to watch as a child.
So I'm pretty moved.
And I hope that it will be a hit.
And there is also
our female lead.
Latitia.
My friend, Latitia.
She will also do the catering,
script supervising... and other stuff.
All this stuff.
This film is gonna be good,
be sure of that.
And I'll see you soon.
Come on, let's go.
- Action!
- Hello.
The hotter the better.
Got it, the baguette.
Oh, sweet!
You looked at the camera,
on this take, Latitia!
It's just that I don't get it
because I already had one.
There are people waiting in line,
we should let them...
But I had it in all the other takes,
it's not consistent.
Yes, but that's how
the film industry works,
there are tons of continuity errors
in real films.
So let's not dwell on that.
- Thanks a lot, Franois.
- Anytime.
- Have a good one!
- Thank you.
You've changed so much,
Anderson.
You know the system is just rotten.
It's not just the system
that is rotten, Anderson...
- What is it?
- Sorry!
It's just that you want us
to flirt with each other, but...
- Look, I'm sorry, it's...
- Is it the line?
My bad. No, it's me.
I smiled.
Well, thanks for asking this question
because it's indeed very difficult.
We live in a country where,
today, um...
If you have ambition, they don't
necessarily give you the means,
and it's a big issue,
especially because I have
a lot of ambition for this short film.
I have the right actors for this.
We don't have a fancy equipment,
but that's OK.
Because it's not about the equipment!
It's about the energy!
When the going gets tough,
the tough get going.
OK.
Come closer, mile.
Yeah, this is nice.
This is very good.
OK, so let me recap the situation.
So mile, you are not happy at all.
This is not what you agreed on.
The amount isn't right.
I already knew that
there was not enough money, right ?
- You're sure ?
- I'm just asking.
Oh, yeah, sure!
Feel free to improvise.
Whatever happens, happens.
You...
You are free to do whatever
you want... Sort of.
Ready?
Silence, camera...
And...
Sir?
Excuse me.
You are in the frame sir
and we can hear you talking.
OK.
Sorry, but...
That won't work, actually.
Because we can hear you...
Well, you don't own the street.
Of course, but it's supposed
to be a film about the FBI...
Yeah, sure thing pal!
- OK.
- The film's about the FBI?
Yes, actually, it's a film about 2 FBI
agents, and one of them is undercover...
- Basically, it's a story about...
- That's nice. That's cool.
But we don't have much time.
You can watch if you want.
Are there any explosions?
Sure, I'm gonna watch.
- There are no explosions. No...
- Do you want some?
Um, meaning?
You said "action"!
- You said "action"!
- No, but that was awesome.
Actually, he was supposed to sh**t.
Anyway. Can we do it again?
- Yes, you want it to be bigger?
- Um, yes! Oh, yeah!
That was dope! Really!
That was so dope!
Latitia, isn't it awesome ?
Action!
Are you OK?
- Not bad, uh?
- I loved it, that was insane!
- You like it?
- Oh, yeah. Bravo.
We gotta finish this short,
it's gonna be awesome.
I'll call you tonight.
So, that's a wrap?
Yeah, it's just
they have tons of things to do...
They've got to leave.
Anyway, thank you so much.
All thanks to you, really.
Good Job!
- I love the way you work.
- You do?
- Oh, yes. I love how you...
- Thank you.
Too bad you don't work
with actors.
Like actual actors!
Yeah, the girl,
she's got something going on.
She's got something,
but the other one, not really. Honestly.
mile? Yes...
mile is a delivery guy so he's not...
We give it the best we can
but I'm still pretty new at all this!
- It's only my 4th short film.
- You're a natural.
- In what you do.
- Seriously?
You were born to do this!
I barely know you though...
I appreciate it!
- It's kind of lame to say this.
- It makes me happy.
- You were born to do this.
- Well, I'm trying.
I'm doing the best I can.
- So, I was thinking...
- Yes?
How much do these toys cost,
over there?
- The camera?
- Yeah.
- Oh, like 3 000 bucks or something.
- Dude!
But I've borrowed this one.
I don't have the...
It's expensive!
- I gotta go, Stphane.
- OK.
Well, thanks a lot,
it was a pleasure.
This expl*si*n is really going
down to make history.
Because I do record my own stunts,
my explosions.
- Oh, you're a stuntman?
- I am.
- So cool.
- True.
- And...
- Have you always been a stuntman?
I've always been one,
yeah, I started, I wasn't 20 yet.
- Alright.
- And for big gigs, you know.
- Oh, yeah? Nice.
-Yeah.
- So I film my stuff with this!
- OK.
- Because it's pretty useful!
- Yeah. But it's kinda vintage.
- Is it ?
- Yeah, it's pretty lame.
See this one?
It can do 4K.
- This one... I don't think so.
- This one isn't 4K?
It's definitely not 4K.
No, no, no...
I don't want to sound offensive,
but it's...
- No, I trust you.
- But it's cheap, very cheap.
- Alright.
- There's way better out there.
But just check it out!
- It's kinda blurry... It's old.
- Yeah, it's an old one!
What would you recommend,
a basic model with good quality images.
- Oh, Dude! You didn't hold back!
- I have some equipment, yeah.
- We can say that, alright!
- So, what is that?
This is a small camera,
it's works fine for stunts.
You might wanna get one.
There's also this one
that I use and like a lot.
This is a camera?
Yeah, it's for vlogging.
Really, it's...
- Here, can I borrow it?
- Yes, of course.
This is so cool!
And it's so small!
That's the point,
it's transportable, you can make...
You can bring it everywhere,
it's cool.
No need to stand that close.
Just like this...
OK, but I wasn't recording,
I was looking at the screen.
You can sh**t
at something else than yourself.
- You can sh**t... in front of you.
- Damn ! That's dope!
- I gotta go, Stphane. So...
- Yeah.
I thought we could reshoot
my demo reel real quick,
because mine is not that great.
I would love to take advantage
of this opportunity!
I get it but I'm super late right now!
It would have been a real pleasure.
Yeah, but I made
that expl*si*n for you.
Look, I got an idea!
There's a shop over there
that sells second-hand camera.
We take my car, we go there
and you give me some advices,
I buy my stuff
and then I drop you at the station.
I promise you won't miss your train!
- 40 minutes?
- 40 minutes.
In 40 minutes you'll be on your train
on your way home!
- You promise, we will be fast?
- I promise.
I'm vlogging!
That's right. Watch out,
there are people on your right.
Oh, that family...
They're assholes!
This type of camera is perfect
for daily vlogging!
By the way,
show me that reference again
Lna Sociation...
Look at this video!
- That?
- Yeah, the vlog so.
You see,
she films her daily activities!
Bring it closer
because I can't focus on the frame
and film at the same time.
It's just so I have an idea
of the image quality!
- Just look at the road.
- I am looking at the road!
Bring it closer.
But I can show this to the seller,
you don't need to record this!
It's fine. It's on my phone.
Alright then,
we'll show the video to to the seller.
- Yeah of course. No problem.
- OK.
Come, right now.
I'm finishing up with this customer.
Quickly, then.
- I'm gonna be late, Stphane.
- I know, I know.
We have a train to catch.
We've got a train
to catch right here.
Just give me 30 seconds.
- Is he f*cking with me?
- No, he's not f*cking with you.
Look, I'm searching for...
- Hello.
- Hello.
I would like...
Wait, I just...
I would like to buy a camera
with that type of image! You see?
This is very old model,
I don't think...
No, what I'm showing you
on the screen.
- That is what he wants.
- On the screen...
- This.
- I want this exactly.
Which one of these equipments
that I don't understand
can provide this type of image?
So you want something
with automatic settings...
We have a train, we're on a rush!
So right here,
there are a couple of cameras.
Where?
- This one is... What is your budget?
- Can it provide this?
- Your budget? No, this one can't!
- No, he wants 4K.
Can it do it? Yes or no?
- 500 euros, that fits your budget?
- Money is not a problem!
Alright!
So what kind of images can it make?
Show me, because...
Because I cannot guess,
I don't know all the models.
You can make the kind of images
you showed me.
Yeah! That's great!
This is very good, Stphane.
- The 4K is available, you can zoom.
- Hold on, I can't see.
- Your glasses are up there.
- On your head, Stphane.
Your glasses...
Yes.
- So this is HD?
- No it's 4K, it's better.
I also need a tripod,
otherwise, I can't film myself!
- A stand for photo or video?
- A simple one. For both.
No, I just want to film myself doing
my stunts and my cartwheels and stuff!
- That's fine. Let's go the cashier!
- Let's go.
- Thank you, Sir.
- You're welcome.
Thanks for making us
miss my friend's train!
- No, it's gonna be fine.
- I'm just tryna help!
Just move your fat a*s! Let's go!
- 520 euros, please.
- It's written 500 euros.
- Plus the tripod.
- There's the tripod also.
Oh, so I have to pay for that too?
Do you want anything, Tim?
No, I'm good, thank you.
- I'm not saying goodbye to you!
- Thank you. I'm so sorry. Bye!
- There you go!
- Do you like it?
Oh yeah! I mean... Oh yeah!
This is so dope!
- Yes, it's great.
- It's really nice.
- With this, you...
- f*ck yeah!
I'm happy for you
but you really shouldn't
film and drive at the same time.
- Lemme take it. It's safer.
- OK. But keep filming me.
- Let's sh**t that vlog!
- Yeah. Just watch the road.
- Yeah, nice!
- Look at me, in my spaceship!
Very, very nice.
- There's no train!
- Of course, there is your train.
- There's no more train.
- It's here, I promise!
Hold on!
f*ck! Wait for me.
- f*ck, it's gone.
- No way.
f*ck, that sucks, man!
I told you so!
f*ck, I know... I f*cked up!
- f*ck!
- f*ck...
Dumbass!
Stphane...
It's OK. It's OK, Stphane!
Stop it, Stphane.
I'm sorry.
Hi, Do you work here?
I know him. He's a friend.
I'm sorry.
- Don't worry, I'll just carpool!
- No, no...
I'll find a way!
- I'll drive you home.
- But, Stphane...
Just get in the car.
I will fix this.
- Move!
- Alright.
I'm so sorry.
- Hello? Yeah, sorry, Christian.
- Easy, Stphane.
Yeah, yeah...
Yes, hello?
Postpone the party to tomorrow night
because I can't make it.
What should I do...
You already knew?
Well, that's how it is.
Look, I'm sorry.
No, it's not a big deal!
I will figure it out!
- No way, I'll drive you home.
- No, just drop a little further away.
No, I will drive you home, period!
It's not negotiable!
Come on!
Come on!
First, I want to thank you
for this morning.
You were incredible!
The tall guy who made the explosions
even told me:
"This girl, she's got something
going on. She's gifted."
But it's no news for me,
because, I already knew that.
That's why I chose you.
Tomorrow,
RTS is finally set at 7.30 a.m.
because we have a lot on our plate.
RTS means "ready to sh**t".
This is classic cinema lingo.
You better learn it,
if you wanna have a career!
Just saying!
What's that?
What's the matter?
Is it the scenario?
It's the kissing scene, right?
Well, if you're not
a part of this film...
The contest is over.
I can't win the contest
without a film.
That's common sense, you know.
Look, it's OK! I don't wanna
jeopardize our friendship.
I'll find a way!
Don't worry, Lati!
Alright.
Take care.
f*ck...
- This is awesome! Look at this, Tim...
- What's that?
The reverse screen thing is really cool.
Not long ago,
actually, it was a few years ago now,
I helped a young singer
who had participated in a TV talent show.
That's how he became famous.
He recorded a few albums...
Yes.
- You don't drink?
- Yes, I do.
And one day,
he just stopped everything.
He went through a dark phase
and wanted to quit.
And well... I can humbly say
that I got him back on his feet.
OK.
He went back to it
and he released several new albums.
So he's famous now.
Yeah I think he's famous. But you know
I don't care about those things.
Famous or not.
Do you remember his name?
Um... I don't remember.
It was Damien...
Damien Dor.
Something like that.
Julien Dor?
- Julien Dor, yes, exactly.
- No way!
You know, you remind me of him,
Like him, a guy very talented,
but a little bit depressed.
- Have these gentlemen chosen?
- Yes.
- Black Forest cake for me.
- I'm out of it.
It's hard to store properly
and both of our fridges are down.
- How about a floating island?
- No, thanks.
We should probably go soon, Stphane.
Let me finish my drink and...
What you doin'...
f*ck it !
- Watch out the step.
- Yeah.
Oopsie!
Are you ok, Stphane?
Are you sure you can drive?
Um... no.
In this condition...
OK, I give you the car key
and you drive.
I don't have a drivers license.
So what do we do?
Um, what do we do, um...
Honestly, the best thing we could do
is that I drive us to my place.
It's close!
We sleep there and tomorrow,
I'll drive you home.
OK?
- Let's do this, buddy? Check!
- OK. That's probably the best choice.
- Let's go! Check!
- Check!
- Have we arrived yet?
- Are you filming?
- Film me.
- Yeah.
- I have a story for you.
- OK.
- Have you ever played rugby?
- Um, no.
I used to play a lot when I was young.
And one day, we lost a game.
It happens sometimes.
And in the locker room,
in the shower...
there's that Pierrick guy
who comes in,
he was under or above...
I don't remember his height.
But he wasn't in the team.
He came to me and said:
"My friend over there...
He said that he f*cked your mum."
He said something stupid like that,
That as*h*le!
And then I did something stupid too
and I tried to punch him in the face.
But little did I know...
He had 2 friends
who were waiting for me.
- At the corner.
- Oh, sh*t.
They started
to beat the sh*t out of me.
I mean, yeah I gave the first punch
And they beat me so hard,
you know.
My ribs were crushed
and my teeth, same.
Holly sh*t, man!
Yeah, it was... I was pretty bad.
It hurt so much.
I know right.
My face was completely...
Just by talking about it now,
I can still taste the blood in my mouth!
It was awful.
I felt like trash. Covered in blood.
Humiliated.
But I thought about it lately,
and that wasn't the hardest part.
Wasn't it?
No.
The hardest part really was...
When I came back home
that night
my mother opened the door.
And...
It took her something like 8 seconds
to recognize me.
And it's...
It's quite long, 8 seconds,
to recognize your son.
- Yeah.
- You know.
That really...
crushed me.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
Anyway, it's all going
to change tonight because...
Pierrick lives right here.
- Can you see this window?
- Yeah
- Can you see him?
- The guy?
Yeah, look at him.
He's handsome, isn't he?
- So, we're gonna do something.
- Yeah.
- I'll go see Pierrick.
- OK.
- And you're gonna film what Imma do.
- What do you mean?
No, we should go back home,
Stphane. Let's go?
Plus, you are a little drunk, this
is not how you are going to fix this...
- Haven't you listened to my story?
- I have.
- You're on his side?
- No, not at all, Stphane.
I don't know this guy.
All I'm saying...
I have a shotgun in my trunk.
Are you kidding me?
Stphane, don't f*ck with me.
- I can't take it any more.
- Let's go home... What?
- Tonight is the night.
- No, stop it. Stop! Stphane!
Oh, sh*t!
Did you fall for this?
Ha, he fell for it.
Holly sh*t!
I don't know where we are, I don't know
this guy. It's just a camera prank!
You can say that again!
Nice range of emotions.
- Really ?
- Yeah.
Hey, I didn't do this to impress you,
it was just a prank.
Stphane, I think that you are
a f*cking great actor.
Stop it!
Yes, you are! The emotions...
You got me, big time.
f*ck!
It just exploded.
What's happening?
The fuel hose broke. Get out.
- It's ruined.
- Oh, f*ck!
Grab your bag,
We will just walk.
- Let's go quickly.
- Really?
Yeah, it's already late.
And I'm very tired.
- Come on!
- Is it far?
We're almost there.
Are you OK?
There you are. Good.
Are you sure?
We can just let the car here?
I'll come back for it later.
My ears are burning.
Is it the right way?
- Where are you?
- Over there.
Yes, I'm sure!
it's in that way but where exactly...
- It can't be. I can't see anything.
- Wait...
- Great!
- What is it?
Night mode!
Do you have a torchlight?
A light, um...
That would be very helpful!
Wait, it's here.
- What?
- It's here!
Let me introduce you to Marilyn!
- That's a boat, Stphane.
- Yes.
We can jump in, and it will take
us directly to my island.
Really?
Didn't I tell you?
I live on an island.
I didn't know.
What?
Can we sleep in it?
Are there any beds?
- OK, we will sleep on the boat then.
- I'm very tired, Stphane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here.
So?
Well, I'm going to bed, Stphane.
Thank you for everything.
It really was a nice evening.
I enjoyed the restaurant a lot.
Thank you very much.
- But right now, I'm exhausted.
- Alright.
Actually, I thought
that we could get to know each other.
What about tomorrow morning?
We're gonna wake up early so.
- And we could talk then.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's just that
I felt like talking right now.
I saw today that you were
very talented at what you were doing.
I'm just curious to know the person
Who's gonna sleep in my boat.
Talented, maybe not...
Come on, I know you want it too.
Those are small glasses.
One last drink for the road.
Some people say,
it's all about charisma.
You've got it.
- I've been told the opposite.
- No.
I was a stuntman
for the film industry.
I worked with big names.
Since I was 20, I've been doing
stunts and explosions.
Yeah.
You know some people...
Sure. With pleasure.
Who, for example?
Who?
You can't say those things...
- Delon.
- No way, Alain Delon?
He's a good friend of mine.
- He even came here.
- On the boat?
For example...
Could you reach out to those people?
If we were to make a film.
Yes, but it would have to be
a great film.
I want you to have fun.
Look at that sweet face!
- I want you to have fun!
- Me too.
- Do you have your own style?
- Yes, I do.
You know what? Write it down
and I will make it happen!
World w*r II, For example,
I'm very passionate about it.
But for those type of films,
You need a lot costumes, explosions...
And that's the main problem:
I don't have the means.
- f*ck! So what do we do?
- I have the same question.
What?
You've got me. You've got me.
That's right!
You know how to make explosions.
- Yes, yes.
- Yes.
What kind of stories do you like?
Most of the time, I like love stories.
I like love stories.
I need a little bit of suspense,
a little bit of action...
- Yeah.
- That's it.
Maybe an American soldier.
Yes, that is great.
- What are you looking at?
- Hold on a second!
- Are you filming?
- Yes, I am!
It's the type of night,
we will never forget!
Yes, it's true.
- We've already started the film.
- Yes.
- In a way.
- Yeah, that's right. That's right.
Check it out!
It's beautiful.
- To Hollywood!
- To Hollywood!
It could be an American soldier
who's trying to protect
a young Jewish girl.
- Yes, that works.
- and she is on the run.
- Poor them!
- Yes, indeed, poor them.
They suffered so much
It was not fun at all, back then.
No, it wasn't!
And there might be a villain.
A n*zi!
And also, a love story. A love triangle.
With the 3 of them. I mean, I don't know.
- A love triangle?
- Yes, a love triangle. Maybe?
With the n*zi guy?
I've just realized...
What you were telling me...
I'm not really into that type of thing!
- No problem.
- I can't put Delon on that!
Let's keep an open mind.
Let's be honest, back then,
life wasn't black or white.
At that time,
the Nazis would make the woman
sleep with the dogs
and they put barbed wire
inside their sexes.
I didn't know that.
I'm telling you right now,
So forget about the love triangle.
- OK.
- It's a duo.
Which actor should we cast
for the American guy?
I don't know.
- A French one?
- Yeah.
It could be a French guy
with a good American accent.
douard Baer?
No.
- You ?
- No, I'm just thinking with you.
- Would you like it, Stphane?
- Stop it!
- No, no...
- You wanna play the american soldier?
- Why not, after all.
- Yes, why not... No.
- You need the accent.
- Yes.
Yeah?
No, I'm just talking sh*t.
We are drunk.
No, why not.
For the n*zi...
You don't want to act in it?
I was never offered to act
but I can act.
Im going to check
If I have a friend that could do it.
You're not drinking?
I am, but I'm starting to feel sick,
so I drink slowly.
Are you kidding me?
Well, I'm not a drinker like you.
I'm not much a binge drinker.
Stphane?
Stphane?
Be careful...
Stphane?
OK!
Cheers!
- To cinema!
- Yeah.
Karaoke!
Karaoke!
OK! OK!
I'm giving up the film
about the FBI.
For the contest,
it will be all about him.
I don't know, I keep thinking
that I have to film him.
Maybe I could make
a documentary about him,
without him knowing about it.
Yeah, I think Imma change my plans
because...
He is incredible.
Timo...
Timo
How are you?
Did you sleep well?
- Have we arrived yet?
- Yeah, yeah. Here, that's for you.
- What is it?
- A small gift.
- Why?
- For my friend Timo.
- Are you happy?
- I'm moved, Stphane, but...
And the craziest part is that
it is my birthday today.
Are you kidding me?
I swear, I didn't know.
- Really?
- I had no idea. That's crazy.
I can't keep it.
It's very expensive.
No, it's my pleasure.
OK, thank you.
- Well, you're welcome.
- Thank you a lot.
- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm coming.
Come here.
- I'm filming a making-of just for fun.
- Yeah, right, come here.
Look what I have for you.
There you go. Have a look.
This is where I live.
I thought of this place for the set,
but...
- It's wonderful, Stphane.
- Is it?
It's gorgeous.
Here we are.
This is the place.
Welcome to my home.
Nice.
This is it!
- OK, alright!
- Look!
Holly sh*t!
- So you have a bedroom here.
- Yeah.
A big one, roomy.
- Great. It's yours I guess.
- No.
- Here is the dinning room.
- OK.
- Look.
- It's nice!
Isn't it?
A lot of movie stars ate here.
- Really? Like who?
- I can't tell you.
- Come on, just one name!
- Some French ones, some american...
- Really? like Clavier?
- The living room... Clavier? No!
You can film.
You have the... Have a look!
OK.
Great. Oh, yes!
- Let's check out the kitchen.
- That works for me.
My own personal pizza oven
that I built myself.
- Do you live here all year long?
- Yes.
- Really?
- Yeah. I'm simply well organized.
Alright.
So here is the...
Is this your dog?
Um, yeah, yeah.
Here is the love room,
if you know what I mean.
Nice!
- This is Canet's. He forgot it.
- Canet...
Guillaume Canet.
- No way.
- Himself. "Astrix".
How many rooms are there?
This is yours.
- No, it's not mine. Guest room.
- Yes.
All the furnitures,
it's Jacquou le Croquant.
- How about that, nice uh? See?
- Oh yeah.
- To host your guests.
- This is awesome.
And here, look...
It's your bedroom.
Cool.
- The light is right here.
- Yeah.
Do you think I could get
a king size bed?
Unless... No, it's fine.
It's really fine.
I was just asking, as I saw
a lot of rooms with king size...
- But you're alone.
- Yes, I'm alone, it's true...
- So this is the patio.
- Yeah.
If you want to drink something.
Nice.
- We're pretty much isolated.
- Oh yeah.
You can scream all you want,
no one will hear you.
Go, scream. Scream.
Scream "help", I'm choking you, Tim.
- Go, scream "help". Scream!
- Help!
- One more time.
- Help!
No one will come.
So we're going to be good for the film,
the explosions and all that,
we won't be bothered.
- OK. Good.
- See?
That's why I thought
about this place to sh**t.
But there's no service.
Big, big, big, big, big, big
fan of chess.
- OK.
- Look,
the bishop that takes the...
Alright!
- The pool!
- Yeah, I see!
Indulging yourself, as I see.
Alright, let's go location scouting.
Wait, I'll show you a thing before.
So we have all this stuff
if we want to use it.
I think what we need is here.
Holy cow!
All the period costumes.
It's great. We'll have so much fun.
- Unbelievable. It's perfect...
- No, please.
- What?
- Don't film around here.
- It's for the behind the scenes...
- What for?
I'm asking you
not to film this room.
Why?
Too bad, because it's really...
OK.
- OK? Good boy. So...
- Yes.
So, n*zi costume.
What do we have? This one.
- See? This is great. Yes.
- Nice. It's a real one?
There's another one
we could use, but it's different.
I have other nearby.
But I can show you pictures.
I can easily show you, see.
What do I have...
I have the hiking n*zi costume.
They used to go hiking.
- The skiing n*zi costume.
- They didn't use...
Hiking-forest n*zi... What?
- They didn't ski.
- Yes, they did.
There's the scuba diving one.
Because they used to do snorkeling.
They were spies...
- Let's focus on the classic ones.
- I have 6 beach modes.
- A classic n*zi works just fine.
- Yeah.
What do we have
for the US soldier?
- US soldier, OK.
- Do you have something?
Wait, let me think.
I think that I... have nothing,
WWII, US soldier...
Ah, sh*t.
You have nothing at all?
For the US soldier.
I have a costume
from the Civil w*r era.
- The Civil w*r.
- It could be nice.
I don't know if that works,
but, why not.
-Does it look legit?
- Honestly, yes, it does.
OK.
Good news:
the actress who'll portray Bianca is in,
she called this morning,
she will join us.
- No way!
- She's from Clermont, she's nice.
- I'll propose her this one...
- Is she pretty?
Why this question?
Yes, but that's not the point.
- Shall we continue? The scouting?
- Yes, Let's go!
We'd better be careful because
there are wild horses on the island.
No way! Can we use them?
- Use them? What for?
- For the film.
For the film, yeah.
But we would have to catch them...
- How many do you want?
- At least one would be great.
Indeed, that would be great.
Alright. OK. Let's do our best.
Oh, sh*t!
Bathing suit women 1900
This is awesome.
Woman dresses
- Are you filming?
- No, no. Not at all.
I was checking out the rushes.
- It looked like you were filming.
- No, it was just the pool rushes.
Oh, yeah? Good.
- You scared me.
- Do you need a dog for the film?
I don't think we need a...
You will see,
there are lot of nice spots!
Yeah.
What is it?
This is my quad!
We'll explore the island faster that way.
OK, cool.
Don't worry.
You can sit right behind me.
Alright.
Tim, what are you waiting for?
Come on!
- It's too dangerous.
- Come on!
I'm not sitting on that.
Don't you have any bikes
or anything else?
Not I don't but don't worry, it's safe!
My friend has just added
a helicopter turbine.
It's safe!
I will never get on this, Stphane.
I'll find something else,
but it will be a lot slower.
OK.
Come on!
This is awesome!
This is cinema!
Now, we're making cinema!
- Which one do you want?
- Yeah, come on, Stphane!
- Which one do you want?
- The white one.
- This one? OK, Hold on.
- Yes!
Wow, the white one!
This is the one I want.
- Stphane, I want the white one!
- Shut up!
I know what I'm doing.
You're such a pain in the a*s!
They are too fast,
how can we catch them?
OK...
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Will you stop it? How old are you?
This is going too fast.
OK, I'll slow down.
- OK Imma go.
- Yes.
You stay here.
OK...
- You're sure you know what you're doing?
- Yeah.
- Is it safe?
- Shut up.
Holy sh*t!
Be careful!
Stphane?
Oh, sh*t...
Stphane?
- Untamable.
- What?
It can't be tamed.
- We'll see later for the horse.
- So, do we continue without it?
- Eh?
- We give up on the horse thing?
- Yes, For now, no horses
- Too bad.
Yeah.
This is a horse too.
Oh course.
Watch out, Stphane. You OK?
Yes. I'm falling.
Oh, sh*t!
Let's take a break, Tim.
- A 30-minute break.
- Yeah.
Yeah...
sh*t...
He has g*ns all over the place.
Holly sh*t!
It's right here.
We're gonna make a film. OK?
So you stay nice.
We're gonna make a film.
Oh, darling.
You're tired, aren't you?
Yes, you are.
Alright!
Let's go!
Tim... Tim?
Timo!
OK, making-of camera...
1st take.
So, for this scene,
it's gonna be simple.
- You just got back from hunting...
- Yeah.
So, you're pretty tired.
We want to feel how tired you are.
OK.
You came back empty-handed,
so you're quite disappointed.
- Stphane, are you ready?
- Yeah.
Look at the fire...
not the camera.
So now, it's the moment
when Bianca arrives
and knocks at your door.
- Because a n*zi is after her.
- Yeah.
- So she needs some help.
- Alright.
- And the US soldier will...
- Bianca, are you listening?
- Listen to Tim, he's the director.
- Yes. Yes.
- No, no... She didn't get it
- No.
Just stay right here. Here
Perfect.
Very good.
- You didn't give me the signal
- Oh yeah, right. Sorry.
- As you want.
- Sorry, my bad!
You say one thing, then another.
It's pretty confusing
Sorry, so I will say "action",
then the "knock, knock".
Knock, knock.
Don't worry, Miss,
I... I'll take care of you.
Let's get you a cup of tea
to bring you a little comfort.
So, what is happening to you,
my young lady?
- Repeat the line again. Maybe?
- Yeah.
So, what is happening to you,
young lady?
sh*t...
OK. Say it again.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. One last time.
So, what is happening to you,
young... lady?
I'm desperate.
Oh, why is so?
Someone is after me.
Who is after you?
Tell me!
By a Third Reich n*zi soldier.
Ha, I hate those people!
Where is this g*dd*mn n*zi?
What the f*ck is he doing?
This is so weird...
Stphane?
There you go, Tim.
Thank you.
- Are you filming?
- Yes, if you don't mind.
As long as you don't film me
when I'm taking a sh*t.
No, no, I...
No.
Oh, sh*t, I'm sorry Stphane
but I don't eat meat nor cheese.
But it's OK, I'll eat some bread.
Are you a vegetarian,
a plant-based eater, a vegan?
- Plant-based.
- It's ridiculous.
I don't get it.
Someone explain this to me.
What do you eat? Soil?
Vegan means
that I can't eat dairy product.
- There is some grass outside!
- OK...
We had Rock n Roll and the rockers
And you, have guys who eat...
well, nothing.
Vegetarian, let me laugh.
What do you eat?
- Nice vegetables...
- Nice vegetables, OK.
- It's boring.
- No, vegetables are great.
Not only that,
- we eat cereal, rice, wheat, quinoa
- Great...my mouth is watering.
- You do what you want.
- Don't be narrow-minded.
I'm not narrow-minded.
I'm actually the opposite, I'm more open.
Look, do you want some?
- No.
- You're narrow-minded.
- Where does she come from?
- She's Ukrainian.
She is a performer
at a circus in Clermont
But she originally comes from Ukraine.
- What do you perform at the c...
- Funambulist.
She's a close friend,
She's like my daughter.
- Alright.
- Yeah.
I told you about my daughter
in New York whom I don't see often.
She, over here, is my 2nd child,
I care for her.
She's very precious to me.
Aren't you?
Bianca?
I love you so much.
I'd like to tell you
that you look great on the screen.
It's true.
- You were doing great, you...
- You were impressive.
- Impressive.
- You look good on camera.
Do you know Hugh Grant?
Hugh Grant.
I've been told that I look like him.
No.
White wine, anyone?
OK, but just a drop.
Alright, you have nothing
to worry about.
- You are sleeping here so...
- Yes.
Cheers, Bianca.
Cheers!
Well, I think you are a nice girl
It's too bad that
you understand me better
I would have loved
to spend more time with you.
I mean, I'm just stopping by
I'm not gonna stay here very long
but... Anyway.
It's not the time you stay that matters
I mean...Maybe, I don't know.
I have to say that i'm having
a great time with you
Do you understand me?
Do you understand
when I speak?
sh*t!
I stumbled on something right here.
I must have stepped on something.
I made a mess everywhere.
We'll clean it up.
Can you help me?
Can we do it together?
Yeah, yeah.
I tell you.
We need more of this thing
to clean it up.
I have 2 more.
Oh, you want to go to sleep?
Bianca is heading to bed.
So soon.
So you clean that up
and I'll go tuck Bianca in bed.
- Her room is on the other side.
- OK.
Come on, Bianca
Good night, Bianca.
See you tomorrow.
You continue. I'll be right back.
The night isn't over.
I'm not done with you yet!
Ouch.
Alright.
Keep going. Keep going.
Watch out.
Watch your feet.
The light...
There is not light, Bianca.
There is no light.
Okay, Bianca ?
Take this.
Here.
Tomorrow, you will get the same.
Here.
In addition, okay ?
Good night, Bianca.
I'm closing the door.
No, no, no.
Bianca.
Bianca.
No.
You were such a good girl all day
you're not going to get angry now.
I'm not going to lock the door,
Bianca.
Ok. I lock the door, then.
It's on you, Bianca.
I can't believe it.
Hi, everyone.
I'm so happy.
I've been thinking
and I have a brilliant idea.
I will take his film seriously
from now on
because, at the end of the day,
there is some potential.
OK, at the first look, he...
He seems a little bit dumb.
After all, why not. Why not.
This can work.
I mean,
he's got that friendliness...
that an audience can appreciate.
Also, he's got...
I don't know, he believes in me...
in my vision, my talents and...
For the contest, it's great,
because...
Worst case scenario:
I show up with 2 films,
a documentary about a loser,
and a great w*r film.
So, I don't really know...
Now what?
What?
What the hell is he doing?
Where is he?
Where is he?
Timo?
Timo, I'm here!
- What is happening?
- One minute.
I was thinking... I couldn't sleep
so I woke up and I told myself:
If there are a lot of explosions,
because we are in a w*r zone,
you can just eject me from there
you know,
this is a system that could eject me.
- That's not bad.
- It's pretty simple.
The thing is...
it's a little basic because I'm alone.
- Yes.
- That thing over here... Bang!
- Stphane! Stphane!
- f*ck! OK, no. My bad!
Could you just cut
the red cable?
- OK
- Red.
Red?
- This one?
- No, no!
Stphane?
Come on.
- Where are we going?
- It's a surprise!
Wait here.
- Don't move.
- OK.
What is this all about?
I don't get it, Stphane.
What is it, exactly?
For the final scene.
Is it supposed to make
some sort of explosions?
Yeah, right behind me as I'm walking...
First of all,
we can't work with all that noise.
- Can't you remove it on your computer ?
- No, I can't.
So, let's just record
the sound afterwards then.
But those lights
won't make any explosions.
Yes, they will, we'll see some lights.
No, at top, it will give us
a Christmas vibe,
certainly not an expl*si*n one!
Oh, oh, warning!
Fire!
Could you reproduce
that fireball you made
the first time you helped on my film,
one more time.
No, no, I don't want
to f*ck up my field.
But, nature... will grow back,
eventually, it's not...
- It doesn't always grow back.
- Yes, it does.
- No, sometimes, it doesn't.
- When there are fires, it does.
Yes, it does.
Yeah? Go check the Amazon rainforest
and see if you can pick daisies.
So you don't offer me any other
options, it's all set and done?
Yeah.
OK. So, let's do this.
- You'll fix it on the computer.
- I'll see what I can do.
Great. Everyone is happy.
Year 1945.
The w*r is still raging
throughout Europe.
France is on the brink of downfall.
Only one man can save the nation.
But not only the nation.
He can also save a young woman.
His name is...
Vivien McAlister.
Timo, look.
I've found this for the film,
I completely forgot I had it.
- Awesome!
- It's a LeMat.
This is very,
very cool for the film.
It's a 10-shot one,
which is extraordinary,
because normally, it's only 6.
But this one has 10 shots!
- Is it a real one? Is it loaded?
- Yeah.
No.
What would be nice,
in order to show her that
you are still in the prime of life...
Yeah.
You could come in that way
and you could hop like that.
Like George Clooney.
So, Bianca...
- Well...
- Come on. It's gonna be great.
- I'm not jumping, Tim.
- Yes, you are.
Bianca...
Good news: I can't see anymore Nazis.
She is cold.
Oh, are you cold?
Don't move!
Imma give you a little something
to get you warm
- Stphane, no, this doesn't work!
- Why?
Just no.
It doesn't work because
it's not a jacket from that period.
What's written on it ?
"The professionnal", from when
I worked on "The professionnal".
- 1st film with Belmondo
- That doesn't make any sense.
That just doesn't make any sense,
Stphane.
There you go, Bianca.
If you're cold...
There you go.
Oh, my child...
Oh, I forgot to put on
the American accent.
Yeah right...
- I do it again.
- With the American accent...
Hold on, there will be music
over this scene, anyway?
- When?
- For the scene.
No, not at all.
- No?
- The music is only for the final scene!
Have we chosen yet?
Because I've got a little idea.
Yes, I know what to put on.
Are we thinking about the same thing.
Let's say it at the same time.
1, 2, 3...
- Le temps des cerises.
- No. It's not that one for me.
I'll put this one.
- No! Mine!
- I've planned it for so long. I want it.
It's been everywhere, poor you.
- Never.
- Yes, it has.
- But mine...
- Wait... Wait for it, Stphane!
Give me a minute,
that's my favorite part.
So I'm walking at that moment...
Yeah, wait for it... Wait for it...
3... 4. 3... 2...1...
Yeah...
That's good, gotta admit.
But check out mine.
It will work just as fine.
No!
- What's the title, again?
- Le temps des cerises.
Take it easy, oh!
Look at me! Tim!
Slow motion.
You are not telling
the same story with this.
- It has nothing to do with our story.
- It's full of nostalgia. It's brilliant.
Yes, there is a w*r,
but there's also life and hope.
But this is not epic.
We won't use this one.
Alright. We'll talk about it later
Let's take a break.
- Are we sh**ting the scene?
- No, we take a break.
We didn't even do it!
I messed up my accent! Tim!
It's a complicated day.
a very complicated.
Well, the major problem
is Stphane.
He messes up everything,
He doesn't understand anything.
He is stubborn, he is rustic,
he is annoying, he is not subtil...
I'm having a hard time
with the close-ups.
I can't sh**t any.
His skin texture...
is very particular, I don't get it.
It seems that
he has a weird skin condition.
I don't know how to tell him.
I can't.
I can't just say:
Stphane, I can't film you up-close
because you have a weird skin condition.
Your skin doesn't look right.
He doesn't know that kinda thing!
As for me, I know that because I've read
all the books about the WWII.
I know what happened.
He is stuck in his own world
with his references, He's annoying.
And his taste in music,
is just awful!
And I don't want to save him.
I'm not his savior.
Bianca is not much better.
She's catastrophic.
She doesn't understand anything.
She just stares at the camera
like an idiot.
And then she looks at me, like an idiot.
And I try to give her directions,
advices on her acting...
I try to direct her, but...
f*ck...
Cinema ain't easy.
But I have to stay hopeful!
Tomorrow,
I'll talk to him face to face!
and say: "Listen to me, Stphane...
now...
this is my vision of cinema,
it's not your vision of cinema.
Whether you like it or not,
it's my movie that we are making.
Not your film, but my film.
Did you hear me right?"
I'm just trying a few things.
I would like to bring an extra
bit of romance into the scene.
Alright... Simple.
Very simple. Very soft.
I want something delicate! OK?
That's very important.
So Bianca, what I would like is...
I want Stphane... to kiss you.
On her forehead?
- No, on her lips. Obviously
- What?
Timothe, why you do me like this?
What are you doing?
It's a love story, Stphane.
A love story, yes but between
a father and his daughter.
Yes, it is. Yes.
I don't know. For me,
it's not that at all. As for me...
This is what we agreed on.
- No...
- Yes, we said it...
He lost his daughter, so he replaces her
with this young Jewish girl.
Stphane, Keep in mind
that you're feeling really lonely,
it's during a w*r.
So, it's been a long time
since the last time you saw someone.
So what now? Are we sh**ting
some sort p*rn*graphy now?
It's not like that...
Maybe you're not the hero
you thought you were.
Maybe you have some hidden vices,
just like everybody else has.
Plus, sorry, but this is w*r.
Yeah maybe among the Nazis,
Some weren't as bad as the others!
- And maybe the Americans...
- Here you go again!
- Ok Imma stop you right there
- But it's important...
This is bullshit!
Otherwise, this movie
will have no substance!
It's a really beautiful moment.
It really matters to me!
This is really something unique
and there is...
- You're forcing her.
- Not at all, I'm not forcing anyone.
- She's very comfortable.
- No, She isn't comfortable at all.
Yeah, You're right, this is how I look
on a f*cking deckchair.
Let's ask her.
Do you feel comfortable?
OK, let's do this instead...
In order to the audience feel that
yes, you are very nice, but also
that there is a little bit bad...
maybe...
Let's try something.
Just choke her.
- Just choke her. Let's try.
- Enough! Enough!
- Ok, That's it! I'm done!
- What the hell are you doing?
- You are going way too far!
- How?
- Choke her? Poor girl.
- It's a film!
- This is cinema...
- She's Jewish!
Don't you believe that Jewish people
have suffered enough already?
It has nothing to do with that.
It's a film!
You want me to choke another one?
Stphane, wake up, for f*ck's sake!
We're making a film.
I've been busting
my a*s for the last two hours...
And what about me?
I'm being proactive!
You're annoying,
you've been busting my ba*ls
since we started this morning
You have a shitty personality.
It's not because you're louder
that you're right!
Yeah, you can shout,
but you're a lonely mythomaniac!
- Without me, no film!
- Who are you trying to scare?
- You are scared
- No!
No one believes you!
I don't buy your shitty stories!
You're pissing me off!
This film will suck ba*ls!
Go take a walk by the lake
like the lonely dumbass that you are!
There, I said it!
You're all alone!
If I go through this door
and it's over between us.
OK.
You are not going to hold me back?
So I would like you to be sad...
because the soldier left.
You are so sad
that your burst into tears.
And action.
So, Bianca...
If you don't cry,
we won't understand
that your character is sad.
And... the scene will be a flop.
The US soldier is gone.
So you are sad.
Now, you're in danger all over again.
So you cry.
OK, try to cry.
When you hurt yourself, you cry.
When we fall, get insulted,
humiliated...
We cry.
You've been there, right ?
With the other dumbass ?
You know what I mean?
When you get hurt, when someone
pinches you, you start crying.
If I give you a chinese burn.
It hurts, doesn't it?
You'll cry over this.
Make the tears come out.
Do you understand?
Now, Please give me something
otherwise, the film won't work.
Come on, please.
For instance, if someone slaps you.
You cry.
Should I slap you a little?
Do I need to do that?
Tell me, should I slap you a little?
So that it works.
For this f*cking film!
Everything's OK?
Um, yeah,
we were just trying things out.
- I want to apologize...
- I am so sorry. I've been a...
- No, I was an a*s.
- Stphane, my bad. I'm sorry.
Right now...
I don't even know what I'm doing.
It feels like the film
is turning into...
I don't feel so well.
- I'm so sorry for all of this...
- It's OK.
- I didn't mean it.
- It's OK.
You've been so nice to me.
- So this is for the film poster.
- OK.
Let's try to do something nice,
in the tone of the film! OK?
Let's go.
Bianca, come over here.
- Right here. Or maybe...
- There?
Yes, that's what I thought.
To the right.
And then... maybe...
Are you sure? It's weird.
A little bit... Like, lavishly
Like that.
- Are you sure, Tim?
- Yes.
Let's do this.
- Hold on a minute.
- What?
Come here, you've got to be
on the poster, it's your film.
No?
The director can't be
on the poster.
Come on, it would be fun,
All the team is on the poster.
We're making this film together,
the three of us.
This film is gonna be great,
you have to appear on it.
- You didn't set the thing to...
- Um, no.
No, I had a feeling.
Don't film...
I don't know,
I keep thinking that...
I have to film him.
Maybe I could make
a documentary about him,
without him knowing.
He messes up everything,
he doesn't understand anything.
Tomorrow, I'll talk to him
face to face and say:
"Listen to me, Stphane... now...
This is my vision of cinema.
We are not making your film.
We are making my film
Do you hear me right?"
Worst case scenario,
I show up with 2 films:
a documentary about a loser,
and a great w*r film.
Stphane?
- Stphane, where is the camera?
- Yeah, wait a minute.
sh*t.
OK, Stphane,
so this is an important scene.
I mean they all are, but this one
more than the other ones.
This is when the US soldier
really wants to scare the Nazis.
So, he gives his best shot:
explosions, big time.
I see.
I'll add them on the computer,
as we said.
But through the intensity
and the acting, we have to feel that...
the situation is critical, OK?
And this is for the documentary
or the film?
I'm confused.
Sorry?
Let's go.
OK, let's go!
So I start the music...
Alright, are you all set?
This is great, plus,
it doesn't make too much noise.
Position, Stphane! Let's go!
Test.
Test expl*si*n.
Awesome.
OK...
Well, let's go. Silence!
Camera...
Action, Stphane!
Stphane?
What is this...
Stphane, what is it?
Oh, sh*t!
He's sh**ting at me!
He's sh**ting at me!
Stphane!
Stphane!
Stphane, stop! Stphane!
Stphane!
I'm sorry!
Now, follow me!
Come on, Tim!
Come here!
- I'm sorry, Stphane. I apologize.
- Put this on!
Please...
I apologize.
Please...
Just stop everything.
I stop everything!
Put the costume on, Timothe.
- OK...
- Come on.
Timothe...
Put this costume on.
Even for the documentary,
it's perfect.
- I'm sorry.
- It's OK.
I'm sorry for the documentary,
Stphane...
-I'm sorry.
- It's OK.
I'm sorry.
This is it.
Help... Help...
No, don't bother.
- Help...
- Tim, don't bother.
OK...
We finally have our villain,
haven't we?
OK.
Don't worry.
You'll play that n*zi just fine.
You are in the frame!
What was that scene again?
When the American kills the n*zi,
right?
He enters
and the American shoots him, right?
That's right.
Let's go!
You want to make this film,
or what?
We can finish it tonight, Tim.
As you want.
Go to your position.
Let's go, step out.
Close the door, Tim.
Action.
Action, Tim!
I can hear you.
Action, Tim!
Happy birthday!
- It's not dangerous, is it?
- No!
3... 2... 1...
Oh, Make a film.
What is it?
Who is this from?
It's cute.
This is where our show ends,
Thank you...
Sorry Antoine, if I may...
I want to give, a shout out,
while I'm here.
A friend of mine that
I haven't heard from in a while
His name is Stphane.
Stphane Gerlin,
if you're listening to this...
Well, you've been very important to me
during a tough period of my life.
And I'd be so glad...
Wait, Stphane Gerlin,
the Stphane Gerlin?
Oh, yeah, right.
You're right, you know him.
We all know him,
at one point or another,
he gave us precious hand.
Don't you worry.
I'm sure that Stphane
will come back at some point.
Stphane is never very far away!
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Stephane (2023)
Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341