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Chicken Coop (2024)

Thanksgiving & Drama Movie Collection.
(Philosophical/Docudrama/Melodrama/Psychological/Anthropological/Teen/etc.)

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Thanksgiving, Dramas Movie Collection.

Chicken Coop (2024)

Post by bunniefuu »

(no audio)

(slow melancholic music)

(chickens squawking)

(birds chirping)

(chickens clucking)

(slow melancholic

music continues)

(melancholic music)

(melancholic music continues)

(melancholic music continues)

(melancholic music continues)

- [Isaac] Someone once said,

"Time is what we want most,

but what we use the worst."

Maybe I'm misquoting, but

it was something like that.

- [Tania] Isaac, what

are you doing up there?

(melancholic music)

- I don't know.

- [Tania] Well, when

you're done come down,

we've got work to do.

(slow melancholic music)

(chickens clucking)

(sirens wailing)

(sheets rustling)

(Tania sniffles)

(Isaac groans)

(Tania sighs)

(Isaac sighs)

- This is supposed

to be my vacation.

- We have an hour till

the lift shows up.

- Can I even while

you, you know?

- (sighs) Let me

ask you a question.

- What?

- What happened to

that crazy hillbilly

with a guitar that

I fell in love with?

The one that used to

always make me laugh?

- I wasn't no hillbilly.

- You wasn't no-

- (chuckles) Shut up.

- Hillbilly.

- Shut up. I can

still make you laugh.

- It's not really funny

when I'm always in the

middle of the joke.

- Isn't that what they warn

you about, marrying funny guys?

They're great until

they start using you

for their comedic material.

- (sighs) I should've

listened, shouldn't I?

- Hm, I don't know, maybe.

- Hm, kidding, Isaac.

(Isaac groans)

- I can still make you laugh.

- (giggles) No, that's

ticklish, stop! Stop!

In a Christmas kind of way

You can feel

that winter glow

- Not gonna be much of a

white Christmas this year.

Hardly any snow on the ground.

This whole area looks different.

Look at all these

new subdivisions.

There's a wind

out in the chill

- What is it?

- Hmm. There's cheese

in this burrito.

- Well, should I ask him

to turn around and go back?

- No, it's fine.

We'll just wait till we

get to your dad's house

and we'll ask if he

has a granola bar.

I'm sure he has something.

- I don't think I've seen

him eat a granola bar ever

in my entire life.

The man keeps chickens.

Ipso facto, he eats

eggs for breakfast,

probably with some

cheese sprinkled on top.

A couple of strips of bacon.

- He's gonna get cancer.

Showering houses with care

Santa's reindeer is there

- Hey, could you do me a favor?

- What?

- Could you not mention

the vegan thing?

- He doesn't know?

- (scoffs) I do not wanna have

that conversation with him.

- How are we supposed to

eat in front of your father

without him knowing?

(bag rustles)

(soft slow bright music)

- I'm gonna have clients

up my a*s next week

because I wasn't in my office.

- Can't it wait?

Geez, I dragged you out here,

this is what you wanted to do.

- Do you like that

nice house we live in?

- God, who sh*t in your

cereal this morning?

Maybe shouldn't even be eating

anyways because. (sighs)

- Hey, you wanna hear a joke?

- No.

- You gonna like it.

- No.

- A vegan, an atheist,

and a CrossFitter

walked into a bar.

And I only know that

because they told everyone

as soon as they

introduced themselves.

Christmas kind of way

- I'm not playing

this game with you.

Kind of way

- I didn't have

cereal this morning

because you wanted to

get a $15 vegan burrito.

- You called and he answered.

- Of course he answered.

He has a home phone

and no caller ID.

- Well, he didn't hang up.

All the perks of magic snow

- Look, my sister

didn't talk to my mom-

- I get your point.

- For like six years.

- I've heard the story.

And you're right,

he didn't hang up

and now we're here.

- I know.

I'm just saying

this is the right thing to do.

(soft gentle bright music)

Don't you love your father?

(soft gentle bright music)

(gentle bright music)

Oh, leather scent

(tires crunching)

From dreamers now absent

Small tidings seem so large

In a Christmas kind of way

(car door thuds)

(car engine rumbling)

- [Tania] Where are the horses?

- [Isaac] Don't know.

(knuckles rapping)

(footsteps thudding)

(Abe sighs)

- Hi! (chuckles)

Oh, good to see you.

- Didn't gotta knock, you know?

- [Isaac] Well, I

don't have a key.

- I don't lock the doors.

Been here 30 years.

Who's ever tried to

break into this house?

I don't even think that sliding

door there even can lock.

You guys grabbed some food?

- [Isaac] Yeah, that's for us.

(bag rustles)

- What's that?

- Some, uh, breakfast burritos

from some hipster joint

Tania found on Yelp.

- Oh, well, I was

about ready to go out

and get some eggs,

but that'll do.

(bag rustling)

You ain't eating?

- My stomach is

feeling a bit upset.

- Oh, I'm sorry to

hear that, sweetie.

I got Tums and Pepto in

the medicine cabinet.

- Uh, I, I'm okay.

- No, no, I insist.

Can't have you suffering

all day. Hold on.

- Just eat the burrito,

it'll make everything easier.

- No, I'm gonna

order my own lunch,

because every time you order

something it goes wrong.

- Every time?

- Every time. It's just-

- Well, it looks like I'm

outta the pills, actually.

I've had some problems, but

always had a cast-iron stomach.

(scoffs) No longer though.

(drawer whooshes)

(cutlery clatters)

(Abe sighs)

Mm.

(spoon clatters)

Mm. Here we go.

- Oh! Thanks, Abe.

- Yeah.

(Isaac chuckles)

- Mm.

- Mm!

- There you go.

So, uh, what time was

your flight this morning?

- [Isaac] We actually flew

in yesterday afternoon.

- Oh, yeah, I, I

got up around 6:00

and cleaned the place

up a little bit.

Anticipation y'all was arriving.

- You didn't have to do that,

Dad, you got a bad back.

- I can push the

vacuum just fine.

Besides, I had needed to

get the spare room ready,

and all that stuff.

- We were actually planning on-

- We got another

Airbnb for tonight.

- No, absolutely not. That is

an incredible waste of money.

- We didn't wanna be a burden.

- Not a burden.

- Dad.

- Cancel the reservation.

- We don't want you to

have to worry about us.

- Cancel the reservation.

You're not burdening anybody.

(Abe sighs)

- Fine.

I'll go call 'em right now.

- Okay. Wanna go help me

feed the chickens, sweetie?

- You should really

lock your doors.

- You know, you big-city people,

you can't solve any

of your problems,

so people think they can

break into your place

and steal all your stuff.

I heard in LA that you

can steal up to $900 a day

with absolutely no

legal repercussions.

Is that true?

- People get robbed at Christmas

more than any other

time of the year.

Did you know that?

- Well, did you know that a lock

don't keep anybody out if

they really want to get in.

You know what does?

- What?

- b*ll*ts. I got plenty of them.

(chickens squawking

and clucking)

(gentle bright music)

They ain't gonna bite, you know?

- I'm not scared

of chickens, Abe.

- (chuckles) You just

looked hesitant, is all.

(soft gentle bright music)

(Abe sighs)

(door clicks)

I did used to have a, a

rooster, he'd slash at ya.

Nasty little pecker.

But he got me one

too many times,

so I went and

chopped off his head.

- Really?

- Yeah, and didn't

even taste any good.

All sorts of chewy, you know?

- Why don't you

just let 'em out?

Let 'em run around,

eat some of the bugs?

- Well, I used to

(chuckles) unti- 'til they

started getting a taste

of old Dale's strawberries.

He was not happy about that.

- Well, why don't you just

put in a better fence?

- Oh, you got any idea how

much fence costs nowadays?

Can't afford to be

putting up a new fence,

just so some silly chickens

go around, free-ranging it.

I got a whole acre here.

- Well, we can

help you with that.

- I don't want that kinda help.

See any more?

- What?

- Eggs.

- Uh, sorry, I got distracted.

(chuckles) I was just

admiring the chicken coop.

- Isaac actually

helped me build it.

Nicest chicken coop I ever seen.

Better than my damn house.

(chickens clucking)

(bag rustles)

Be careful now, it

doesn't hold a full bag.

There. That, that's

good, that's good.

Fair trade.

(chicken clucking)

(gentle bright music)

- Mm.

They're so adorable.

- [Abe] Delicious too.

We'll have to slaughter

one for you while you here

so you can try it out.

- No!

No, I don't want you to do that

because they're so cute.

I couldn't, I, I mean,

I couldn't bear to

eat them, they're-

- You know, food's gotta

get to your table somehow.

- I just would prefer

that you didn't k*ll

any of the chickens

while we are here.

- Suit yourself.

Hey, if it was, uh, summertime

and the garden was

going, would it be okay

if I snuck out there and

k*lled you some lettuce?

(Abe chuckles)

(chickens clucking)

You know what I seen on

YouTube the other day?

I seen where

scientists are learning

about the ability of plants to,

to feel things and

remember things.

There we are.

(Abe groans and sighs)

Like a tree.

How's a tree know to grow

its root around a rock?

(Abe speaking faintly)

That every time there's

a drop. (speaks faintly)

So scientists started

dropping it over-

(guitar strumming)

(Abe speaking faintly)

Season up. It had learned

the drop was safe.

- [Isaac] He's gonna

talk her ear off all day.

(Abe speaking faintly)

(Isaac sighs)

(slow gentle guitar music)

(Isaac groans)

(slow gentle guitar music)

- Oh, and, and the smell

of freshly cut grass,

you know what that is?

That's the grass telling

others that it's in trouble.

Yeah, every time while

you're out there,

think about that now.

(wind chimes clinking)

(chicken squawking)

(gentle bright guitar music)

- Wait!

Aren't you gonna

wash your hands?

There's chicken poop out there.

- [Isaac] Tania!

(gentle bright guitar

music continues)

(Abe chuckles)

(water splashing)

- I'm sorry, sweetie.

Been a while since a

woman been in the house.

Forgot my manners.

- Abe, do you have

a pen and paper?

I was gonna

start a list.

- Yeah.

Yeah. A thing to grab, hang on.

- [Tania] Okay,

so "fix the pipe,"

is at the top of the list.

Is there anything else?

- I was thinking about

that pile of stuff

I have stored in the garage.

This would've been a

great opportunity to

move it outta here

if we had thought ahead

and rented a truck.

- There's probably

some kind of nest now.

We got a big mouse problem

out there in the garage.

Neighbor's cat's been

slacking off, so there's that.

- Do you have any

Christmas decorations?

- Yeah, yeah. They're gonna

be out there in the garage.

(gentle bright guitar music)

Yeah, his momma used

to do all that stuff.

(door thuds)

- You're grayer

than you used to be.

- Yeah, well, so are you.

Okay.

So,

whose idea was this?

- Coming out here? Both of us.

- So you would come up to

help me after my surgery,

but you wouldn't come up

for your mom's funeral.

- I was stuck in China, Dad.

- Yeah, I know.

(chickens squawking)

Yeah, I started noticing

the pressure go down

when I's out watering

the chickens.

- You're gonna make me crawl

into the house, aren't you?

- Yeah, first we

gotta find the leak.

- Where's the pipe at?

- That's a good question.

Somewhere around here.

(Isaac sighs)

(chickens squawking)

- This has gotta be the worst

time of year to dig a hole.

- That it is.

(birds chirping)

You gonna dig in them clothes?

(Abe groans)

(Abe groans)

Here you go!

(Isaac exclaims)

Oh, and uh, I got you a hoodie.

I think you're gonna like it.

- They made a hoodie version?

(quirky upbeat music)

Why do you have that?

- They had 'em at the caucus.

I wanted a hoodie.

- I can't wear this.

- [Abe] Yeah, that's all

I can spare for yard work.

- Are you serious?

- What, you afraid one of

your LA friends gonna see you?

- Why?

(quirky upbeat music)

(oven rack clatters)

- What the hell is that?

- What is what?

- Turn around!

- No.

- Isaac!

(Abe chuckles)

- [Abe] No. Ruining a perfectly

good piece of clothing.

- Now it's made for working in.

- Now you gotta

clean that brush.

Isn't it kinda cold,

all that wet paint

all over your clothes?

(water splashing)

You know, you could have

just worn it inside out.

At least you know how

to treat that paintbrush

better than you

treat your clothes.

Of course (scoffs) you

probably don't even remember

what it's like having to

actually pay for clothes.

- What are you talking

about? We pay for clothes.

- Yeah, when you

make $200,000 a year

buying clothes probably

feels like, I don't know,

buying food off the dollar menu.

- I make more than that.

200,000? That's barely

middle class in LA.

- Oh, you giving

me a heart attack.

- I know, gave me a heart attack

when I first moved out there.

House like this would be

worth a couple million.

- Hm.

You know, I think, uh,

shoveling some dirt's

gonna do you good.

- Hey, MAGA boys!

Want some water?

- [Isaac] Yeah!

- Well, I'm good.

I'ma go inside and get a soda.

- You sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

I got one waiting

for me in the fridge.

Beside, the doc said I need

to walk more anyway, so.

- Looks like we might

stay together after all.

- [Isaac] Hey, Dad,

you got any gloves?

- Why, your sissy little

hands can't take a shovel?

(quirky bright music)

- He is having fun. See?

This is going well.

- Too well.

I know my father,

he tortures people

through the guise of humor.

- Sounds like

someone else I know.

(Isaac scoffs)

Don't forget why we're here.

- I'm not. I promise.

(sighs) But we should have

stopped at the hardware store

for some decent gloves

and a decent shovel.

Look at this piece of sh*t.

- Quit stalling.

- Isn't there something you

should be cleaning right now?

(airplane droning)

- [Announcer] Today we

have a very special episode

lined up for you.

We have the privilege

of sitting down

with a remarkable and inspiring-

(car engine rumbling)

a renowned yoga teacher,

wellness advocate,

and a true embodiment

of clean living.

(airplane droning)

(birds chirping)

With students from

all walks of life.

(footsteps crunching)

(Tania sighs)

- There's no recycling. Really?

(birds chirping)

(mouse squeaks)

sh*t!

(gentle upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- Like my entertainment?

Hired him myself off a,

off a, a Greg's list.

(chuckles) Yeah, he ain't bad.

- He'd be pretty handsome

if you clean him up a bit.

- You couldn't

afford to hire me.

- Abe, what do you plan

to do with the mice?

- I was planning on k*lling 'em.

- What if we move them?

- Move 'em?

- Yeah, they make these

little humane traps

where you can capture the mice

and then you just release

them away from the house.

- So they can go do damage

at somebody else's property?

- What if you just let me

release them in the woods?

You know, I, I saw

some trees over there.

You could-

- Look, yeah,

I can understand that

you don't want me

to k*ll a chicken, sweetie,

but these are mice.

An invasive species

of mice even.

- An invasive species of mice?

- Will you please just let me

deal with them humanely?

- I'm not stopping you.

- Isaac?

- Are you asking me?

You've already

made up your mind.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Hey, will those traps

keep 'em from biting you?

I tried catching one

with a cup last year.

Little sh*t damn near

bit my finger off.

- [Instructor] Hey,

what's up, guys?

Over the past couple

years I've made

a couple of DIY mouse traps.

They're all super cool.

They're earth-friendly.

And the one super

awesome thing about 'em,

is that they're all

capture and release.

So if you wanna pick any

one of 'em. (speaks faintly)

(gentle upbeat music)

(bottle cap clatters)

(Tania gulping)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(mouse squeaks)

(trap twangs)

(Isaac groans)

- [Isaac] Yeah,

I'm not seeing it.

- Yeah, looks like you need

another six inches or so.

About another shovel's head.

- The soil's impossible to dig.

It's all stones on top,

and then get through

that and it's all sand.

Can't fill up the shovel.

- Well, I know I put the

damn pipe in there myself.

- What happened?

- Do mice have rabies?

(Abe and Isaac laugh)

- I- I take it they didn't take

too kindly to your advances.

- Do you have any sort of,

uh, uh, mouse stuff?

- Mice stuff? What, like poison?

Now what do you want with

poison? That's not very humane.

Suddenly you get bit

and you wanna go all

weapons-of-mouse destruction.

But I tell you I got bit,

it's like, "Ooh, let's

just put 'em on a truck,

we'll go on down the

road, drop 'em off,

see if they can kumbaya

their way back home."

- Abe!

- (scoffs) Am I

right or am I right?

- Do you have any mousetraps?

- Well, I looked this

morning, I didn't find any.

I was thinking

about getting, uh,

one of them industrial ones.

You know, over at

the Smith & Edwards.

- Is it that bad?

- Oh, yeah.

Don't be surprised if

tonight they start nibbling

on your toes while

you're tryna sleep.

(Tania exclaims)

- Where you going?

- Trying to make the

swelling go down.

- You sure you

don't want one of us

to take care of the mice?

(gentle upbeat music)

(mouse snuffling)

Do you have any sunscreen?

- No.

You know sunscreen

give you the cancer.

I read that on the, on

the YouTubes, I think.

- [Isaac] Maybe, but at

least it stops the burning.

- Oh, a tan will do you good.

(groans) Get you ready

for beach season.

How often you go?

- The beach?

Tania goes every once in a

while, but I'm usually at work,

so maybe once a year.

- Man, if I lived

out there, I'd,

I'd go to the beach every day.

Gotta make some time for fun,

or what's life for anyway?

- I don't know, Dad,

some people have bigger

ambitions than that.

Sometimes you wanna

start a business,

leave a mark on the

world, have a nice house,

not be worried about where

your next meal's coming from.

- What good's being able

to afford a nice house

and all the nice meals, if,

if you don't enjoy it though?

- What, so you

can have more time

to dig holes in the

ground looking for a pipe?

This what you call enjoying it?

I could hire someone to do this.

Put some money back

in the economy.

Help a Mexican immigrant

keep a roof over his head.

- Hey, you know, if I hadn't

just had back surgery,

I'd be out there

digging them holes,

looking for that pipe myself.

Smell that? That's

nature right there.

Feel that breeze,

that sun on your skin.

Yeah, this ain't

work. This is life.

This is living.

- It's easy for you to

say, sitting in that chair.

Also, it's freezing cold

and it smells like cows.

- Well, you know, it'd

be considerable less fun

if I hired a Mexican to do this,

because you know, he'd

just dig the holes

and not complain the whole time.

- Not complaining.

I'm just saying, if

this was my house,

I'd have someone do this for me.

I'd hire somebody. That's all.

- Why didn't you hire

somebody to do it for me then?

Would've saved you

money for the flight.

You didn't see me in so long,

what's it matter to you anyway?

- Look at this sand. It

just slides right off.

(Abe groans)

(Abe sniffles)

- Oh, yeah,

looks like another dud.

You know, this probably

be a whole lot easier

if you used my post hole digger.

- Your post hole digger?

- Yeah, you didn't

know we had one?

- I didn't see it.

- Well, it wasn't in the garage.

- Where was it then?

- Over yonder in the shed,

next to the good shovel.

(Abe chuckles)

- Why didn't you say something?

- Well, you started digging,

I didn't wanna interrupt you.

- Ah, yeah.

(Abe chuckles)

Yeah, I'm sure you didn't.

(chickens squawking)

- [Abe] Still hurts?

- Yeah, that's what

happens when you play

with those evil little shits.

- I figured that out.

- Hey, you want a soda?

- I'm good, thanks.

- Come on, I got all

kinds of things in here.

Might even have some hot

chocolate hidden away somewhere.

- I don't drink caffeine

and I don't drink sugar.

- Didn't you have orange

juice this morning?

Ain't that sugar?

- It's from fruit,

that's different. (sighs)

- Is it?

- Well, thank you, Abe.

(shovel clatters)

(chickens squawking)

(Abe groaning)

- Hey?

- Yeah, I'm okay.

Hey, when did you get

rid of the horses?

- Uh, two years ago, maybe.

Saddle business was growing

and I just didn't have time

to take care of 'em

like you supposed to.

So I gave 'em to a, a

old cowboy up the road.

Give 'em the

attention they need.

You know, you don't,

you don't ride 'em

and work 'em regularly,

they, they get antsy

(chuckles) and things

can get kinda western.

- You wear a helmet at least?

- (scoffs) Boy,

boy, ain't no cowboy

be wearing no

helmets around here.

- Ain't no cowboy if

you don't have horses.

- Fair.

Yeah, last of my riding

days are probably over.

- Are you sure this is the area

where you put down the pipe?

- Uh, somewhere

around here, yeah.

- Goddammit.

- Hey!

You better watch your mouth

around here. You better, son.

- Dad, I'm 35.

- And I'm still your father.

(Isaac sighs)

- Let's take a break.

(bottle thuds)

- Hey! Hey, don't leave

that bottle there.

- [Isaac] Coming back.

- Just like you Californians,

you whine about the environment

and your cities are

covered in more,

more trash than anywhere else.

(door creaks)

(soft gentle music)

- It's bigger than

it used to be.

(door creaks and thuds)

- Yeah well, that's where

the horse stall was.

(Abe clears throat)

I cut out this wall

and sealed up this end.

Now I can lay out my hides

and make my cuts, no problem.

And I gotta, even got a

place to put my scraps.

- This is good, Dad.

(soft somber music)

- Took your mama passing

before I could really

make this shop work.

I was saving up the money,

but I always had you

and your brother to worry about.

Yeah, but now with

y'all being successful

and your mama

passed, I got, I got,

got no reason but to do what

I wanted to do all along.

- Could have made the

shop work before then?

- Nah, you can't

take a risk like that

when you got a

family to support.

When you have kids,

you'll understand that.

- Dad, I already

own my own business.

- You're welcome.

- What's that supposed to mean?

I paid for my own schooling.

- You paid for your tuition.

But let's say, let's say

you, you had to drop out,

or say, say you got

sick or something,

you had to come home.

You lived here rent-free

in the summers. Remember?

What if your business failed

and you had to start

paying off that loan?

Where'd you go?

- I could've-

- You stay with family.

(soft somber music)

You know, as a man

responsible for,

for you and your brother

and your mother's wellbeing,

I- I- (sighs) I couldn't

just quit my job

at the drop of a hat.

We'd end up living in a van

down by the river, right?

- But you would've been

doing what you wanted to do.

- Yeah. Thank God you're

doing what you wanna do.

I'm proud of that,

son, I really am.

But I couldn't do it. Not then.

But now I got my, my

little Army retirement,

you know, covering

the mortgage and,

and I got time to play.

(soft somber music)

(Abe sighs)

(hand slaps)

Becoming a bit of a

lost art, you know.

- Oh, yeah? Why is that?

People don't wanna

slaughter animals

for the materials anymore?

- Nah, they don't

care about that.

Saddle work.

They make these manufactured

saddles now by machine,

and they uh, they, they

wear out really quick.

But they're cheap, and you know,

cowboys today, they can't

afford a good saddle.

Now most of my

customers are rich dudes

who do other stuff for a living,

but on the weekends they

fancy themselves a cowboy.

Yeah, they're all

doctors and dentists

and lawyers, like you.

(door creaking)

- I was wondering

where you guys were.

(door creaks)

(door thuds)

(bells clanging)

- How's your hand?

Want me to kiss

it, make it better?

- No.

- [Isaac] What's up?

- Uh, Abe was talking about

getting Chinese earlier.

Do you want Chinese?

- Yeah, Chinese sounds good.

- Okay. All right,

so rice and veggies?

- If you want rice and veggies,

you should order rice

and veggies for yourself.

You getting a plate or

ordering everything individual?

- Are you going to

that China King place?

'Cause I'll take them

over Panda any day.

- A plate.

So you can get white

rice and an entree.

- W- white rice, no,

uh, I want chow mein.

And you can get, uh, two

sides, I think. Right?

- Chow mein it is.

Uh, and yes, you

can get two sides

or you can double it.

Veggies?

- I would like ham fried rice.

(slow soft bright music)

- Ham fried rice?

- Yes.

- Ham fried rice? You sure?

- Yeah. In fact,

here's my whole order.

Ham fried rice with a side

of sweet and sour pork,

and kung pow chicken.

(slow soft bright music)

- Okay, then.

- Okay!

- Hey, hey, hey, uh,

what about my order?

Or am I just getting

the chow mein?

- I'm sorry. What do you want?

- I'll have what he's having.

- Got it.

(door creaking)

(door thuds)

(bells clanging)

- That mad about the mice, huh?

(upbeat music)

(chickens clucking)

It is exhausting watching

you fumble around

looking for a pipe like that.

- Yeah, well, you can go inside.

(sighs) Watch some

TV or something.

You don't have to

stay out here with me.

- Yeah, I watch enough TV.

- This give you some

kind of satisfaction?

- Hm. Satisfaction's not

quite the right word.

- What is the right word?

- (sighs) Word escapes me.

Sorry, son, getting old.

Yeah, the old nogging

don't work like it used to.

Raising you two knuckleheads

sapped it outta me.

Gave you all the smarts I had.

- Back's going.

Memory's going. What's next?

- Me, I guess.

What kinda law you

practice anyway?

I- I think I need a will.

- Don't you know that?

- [Abe] How am I

supposed to know that?

- I don't know,

aren't we friends on

Facebook or something?

(sighs) Entertainment law.

- Entertainment law.

- Yeah.

- (stammers) That's like when

somebody sues somebody else

for stealing their song?

Like that, uh, oh, what

the hell's that guy's name?

Uh, Ice something? Ice.

- Ice-T?

- Nah, not the "Law

and Order" guy.

Uh, white guy. Dumb haircut.

- Oh, Vanilla Ice.

- That's the one.

That's the one.

Like him stealing that,

uh, David Bowie song.

- It's a Queen song, Dad.

Bowie's on it, but

it's a Queen song.

- No, no. That ain't right.

- [Isaac] You can pull it

up on my phone, if you want.

- Eh! So you, you

help sue people then?

- Nah.

- Well, ain't that

what lawyers do,

is perpetuate our

sue-happy society?

- [Isaac] It's not what I do.

- Well, what do you do then?

- Artist legal representation;

contracts, negotiations.

Firm also handles

legal clearances.

So if you want to

use a brand name

or a copyrighted

image in a movie

or TV, we help

with that process.

Make sure the correct paperwork

gets filed, stuff like that.

- So you're paper-pusher?

- (sighs) You wanted

me to go to school

and make a lot of money.

So I went to school

and I chose a path

I reckoned will

make a lot of money.

I wanted to be a

musician, remember?

- Oh yeah. Yeah, I remember.

I remember you and

that band of yours

in the garage 'til

all hours at night.

Just waking up the neighbors

and scaring the hell

outta the horses,

that's what I remember

- You said, and I quote,

"I just want you

to be secure, son.

Go to college, get a job.

You can do the

music on the side."

- You just said you're

doing what you wanna do.

- What I want now and

what I wanted at 18

are a different story.

I am doing what I want now.

Well, not now, now.

Now I'm digging

holes in the ground,

looking for a phantom pipe

that I'm pretty

sure doesn't exist.

- At least you're

getting faster at it.

- I know.

(shovel thuds)

- You like it, the

contract thing?

- I like having my own business.

Even if it is paper-pushing,

as you put it.

Coming from a man

who makes his living

as an artist now.

It's pretty rich,

you giving me sh*t

for having a real job when

you begged me to go to school.

That's funny, isn't

it? It's real funny.

- First off, I'm a

craftsman, not an artist.

And second, don't swear.

(Isaac laughs)

- As a man who talks

to artists every day,

let me tell you that saying,

"I'm a craftsman,

not an artist,"

really underlines

the artist part.

You just don't wanna

be known as an artist,

'cause you think it sounds

feminine or something.

- Not feminine.

Just sounds fake.

- Well, like it or

not, you're an artist

and your son is a businessman.

(shovel thuds)

- So how much money you

making over there anyway?

Really? Come on, gimme a number.

- Ah, like I said

before, I make a lot.

- Well, you go to the

beach once a year.

You haven't seen your

family in five years.

Your wife put you up

to all this, or what?

- It takes a lot of money to

keep up our quality of life.

All right?

- Is, is that why you

don't have any kids?

Some kind of workaholic?

- I don't wanna talk about this.

- Well, I'm just asking.

- I'm just not answering.

- That's why you're stuck

in China, wasn't it?

You were working.

Even though your mom

had just died and,

and we're all here

planning the funeral,

tryna get ready for-

- I said I don't

wanna talk about it!

(shovel thuds)

(water hisses)

(water sloshing)

(chickens squawking)

Well, I found the pipe.

- [Abe] All right, you

can't, you can't wait

to get into that new

crawl space. (chuckles)

- [Isaac] That's true. It's

the best place on Earth.

- [Abe] You ain't

gonna say grace first?

- You didn't have us

say it this morning.

- Well, I forgot this morning.

Important thing, (sighs) is

that we don't forget now.

Would you like to do the honors?

- Fine.

- Wonderful.

- Mm-hmm.

(Tania clears throat)

- Please, God,

please bless this

great harvest.

We would also,

we thank you so much.

Amen.

- Amen. (clears throat)

- That was a great

effort, honey.

(Isaac clears throat)

- How's your food?

- Mm.

You have no idea, babe.

This is, it's delicious.

- Mm.

- How's the veggies?

- It's fine.

A little under

done, but. (sighs)

- Yeah, I eat too much

of that salad-y stuff,

gives me the diarrhea.

- As you can see, I'm eating.

- I'm just saying,

in about 30 minutes,

you gonna be pissing backwards.

- Dad!

- Okay.

- What? Oh, apologies.

Lady in the house.

(gentle bright music)

(sirens wailing)

(gentle bright music continues)

(Isaac groans)

- (gasps) There it is.

(gentle upbeat music)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(water sloshing)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(door thuds)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

- [Isaac] What's wrong?

- Catch any mice yet?

You know, every time

you start feeling bad,

you just think about

that little runt

tryna chew your finger off.

- I didn't put water in it.

- If you're gonna try that

catch and release thing again,

make sure they don't get out

and chew through the

seats in Dad's car.

- Do you think I'm that stupid?

- [Abe] All right, kids,

come on, play nice.

The young lady wants to

pretend she's St. Francis,

let her pretend, come on.

(door whooshes)

(chickens clucking)

- [Isaac] (groans) Swap me.

- Make sure you don't get any,

uh, dirt on the pipe there.

It won't set right.

- I know. Okay, got it, here.

Get it, get it. Okay.

- (scoffs) You

don't have to count.

- I'm following the

instructions, 30 seconds.

- [Abe] I- if it's

set, it's set.

Just wait 'til it feels right.

- Do you want this thing

to start leaking again?

- Whatever you say.

- 10, 11, 12, 13,

14, 15, 16, 17,

18, 19, 20,

21, 22, 23,

24, 25, 26,

27, 28, 29

and 30.

(Isaac groans)

- Let's go turn the water on.

- Hold on, give me

that, gimme that can.

(sighs) Says to wait four hours

before you turn

the water back on.

- That'd be good in

20 minutes, I bet ya.

Ain't no PVC glue takes

no four hours to dry.

- You wanna stoop down in there

and do all that work again?

Yeah, seeing as I'm the one

who has to do all the work

and doesn't want water

filling up that trench,

I say we wait the

instructed amount of time.

What do you want

me to do with this?

- Ah, just put it

back in the garage,

next to the paint can you

used to ruin my hoodie.

(Isaac sighs)

(door squeaks)

(can clatters)

(door thuds)

(slow melancholic music)

(footsteps tapping)

(slow melancholic

music continues)

Uh, I'm gonna take a nap.

Wake me up when that, uh,

four hours is up, right?

Like I say, watch, watching

you fumble around, exhausting.

- All right, sleep tight.

- Yeah.

(door whooshes)

(slow melancholic music)

(soft gentle upbeat music)

- (sighs) I don't

think that's gonna work

without water, hun.

- [Tania] sh*t!

- Got you, one with nature,

but you forgot, nature

doesn't play fair.

- Please don't.

I, you and your father have

been ganging up on me all day.

Look, I love that you

two are getting along,

but I'm getting a

little sick of it.

I was gonna get Abe's SUV

and go, um, get

Max's kids' presents.

- Hm.

- So?

- Okay, yeah.

Do you think we could, uh,

stop on the way

and get me a soda?

Dad offered me one earlier

and I've just been

really craving it.

Not a can, like a biggie

cup from the gas station?

I'm not gonna get cancer

from one sippy drink.

- Sippy drink?

I read a study that

says carbonation

actually makes

your bones brittle.

So you're gonna have a bad

back just like your dad.

- Show me an old man over 55

who doesn't have a bad back.

- Fine, get yourself a soda,

maybe some beef jerky

while you're at it.

You can enjoy your

little dessert vacation

while you can, because

once we have kids,

that's it, it's over.

- Wow. That's what you're gonna

be like when we have kids.

Okay, sweetie, whatever you say.

- [Tania] Don't say that either.

- Don't say what?

- Sweetie.

Your father calls me

that all of the time

and it makes me nauseous.

(slow upbeat music)

(slow melancholic music)

(somber music)

(g*nf*re banging)

(door clicks)

(Isaac exhales sharply)

(Abe sighs)

(Isaac groans)

- You ready?

And so you gotta

go around the beams

and then make like a

U-turn to the right,

and then it'll be off

in the corner there.

- So like where you're standing?

- Yep. Right about here.

- Dammit.

- You're gonna want

some goggles too.

(box thuds)

You still afraid of spiders?

- I'm not particularly

fond of them.

- How about mice?

(Isaac sighs)

Yeah, you can't go in

there on your knees.

You ain't tall enough.

- [Isaac] I remember.

- What?

- [Isaac] Nothing.

- What?

- Nothing!

- Huh.

(gentle upbeat music)

(Isaac sighs)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(Isaac sneezes and grunts)

Bless you!

- Shut up!

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(Isaac groaning)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(Isaac continues groaning)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(Isaac continues groaning)

Oh!

sh*t.

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(Isaac groaning and exclaiming)

Here we go. (groans)

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(Isaac sighs)

Okay, I'm turning it on!

(wheel squeaks)

- Is it on?

- Yeah!

- Okay. Wait there.

- What?

- [Abe] Well, if there's a leak,

you're gonna have to crawl

back in and turn it off.

Wait a minute. I'll look at it.

(gentle upbeat music continues)

(footsteps thudding)

(mouse squeaking)

(chickens squawking)

(birds chirping)

(chickens clucking)

(chickens squawking)

(birds chirping)

(footsteps rustling)

(birds chirping)

(paper rustling)

- I was just

thinking, might wanna

take that mouse trap

bucket thing of yours

over to the shed.

I don't want 'em getting

into my, uh, chicken feed.

- Ah, where's Isaac?

- Oh, he's under

the house somewhere,

waiting for me to tell

him there's no leaks.

- Good. Leave him there.

(gentle bright music)

- You know, it's gonna be nice

having everybody over this year.

I can't remember last

time that happened.

(tree rustling)

- [Isaac] Dad, where

are you? (groans)

(Isaac gasps and coughs)

(gentle bright music continues)

- How about lights?

(gentle bright music continues)

Yes, y- y- yellow jackets,

that's just what some folks

call the yellow wasps.

But I think that is

actually the term for them,

ones that live underground.

We don't get many of

those around here,

but, uh, but technically

they're all wasps.

But the hornets, now

hornets are bigger

and they also, their abdomens

are shaped different.

Like on a wasp, the, the,

the top of their abdomen

is, is rounded.

But on a, on a hornet,

(exhales) straight line.

- [Isaac] Tania!

Tania!

(gentle bright music)

- Wow, how do you know so much?

- Oh, I just got a

couple extra trips

around the sun on ya

there, sweetheart.

And I may have, uh, dabbled

in beekeeping here and there.

(gentle bright music)

(mouse squeaks)

- [Isaac] (exclaims)

Don't you dare!

- [Abe] Isaac!

- [Isaac] What?

- [Abe] Looks good!

- [Isaac] Good!

(Isaac groaning)

(Isaac sighing)

- Okay?

- Yeah.

- You are covered in

all sorts of crap.

- You think?

- [Abe] (chuckles) The

pipe looks good though.

Nice and dry.

- Took you that long

to figure that out?

- Well, I had to make sure.

(chuckles) You didn't

wanna go crawling

back in there again, did you?

- (chuckles) The

cumulative amount of time

I would've spent re-fixing that

pipe would've been far less

than waiting on your dumb

a*s to tell me it was-

- Hey! Hey, knock

off the swearing.

- Hey, you swear all the time.

- Yeah, do as I say,

not as I do, son.

- (chuckles) That's what

terrible parents always say.

- Go and get cleaned

up. We're done for now.

- I gotta go fill in that hole.

- Nah, leave it overnight.

And if it springs a leak,

we'll see it in the morning.

Go on, get a shower.

(water splashing)

(knuckles rapping)

- [Isaac] What?

- [Tania] What do

you want for dinner?

(Isaac grunts)

- What?

- [Tania] I said, what

do you want for dinner?

I'm gonna grab some.

- (sighs) Honey,

we're gonna gain

20 pounds this week if

we eat out every meal.

- Well, do you wanna cook it?

- [Isaac] Well, no.

- [Tania] Yeah, didn't

think so. What do you want?

- Whatever dad

wants I'm fine with.

- Abe said he wants

fried chicken.

- Okay, get some fried chicken.

- Isaac!

- Just go.

You can have a bowl of

coleslaw if you feel guilty.

- There's mayonnaise

in coleslaw!

(shower door thuds)

(water splashing)

(footsteps tapping)

(slow gentle bright music)

(suspenseful music)

(slow gentle bright music)

(water sloshing)

- Change your mind?

(slow gentle bright music)

(slow gentle bright

music continues)

(car engine whirring

and rumbling)

(soft somber music)

(door thuds)

(car tires squealing)

- (sighs) You don't

have any beer?

- Oh, I never was

much of a drinker.

- [Isaac] I always forget

about the sunsets out here.

They're pretty back home too,

but there's something

different about 'em out here.

- Oh, hey, you remember

my friend Scott?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- And why?

- Well, Scott liked beer.

Scott liked beer a lot.

And when his wife died, Scott

grew liking beer even more.

And Scott got so fat.

- (laughs) Really?

- Oh, hell yeah.

Skinny Scott got, got

so fat. (chuckles)

(gentle somber music)

Why don't you have

any kids, son?

Been married long

enough, got a good job.

What's going on?

You don't want any?

You c- you could

always adopt, you know?

Yeah, I wouldn't

mind having a little,

I don't know, African grandkid.

I, I'd love him just

like I would anyone else.

- (sighs) We'll see.

(car engine rumbling)

- Hey, where you going?

- Check on that

pipe one more time.

(gentle bright music)

(gentle bright music continues)

(gentle bright music continues)

It's so much smaller

than I remember.

(gentle bright music)

(gentle bright music continues)

(chickens clucking)

(children shrieking

and chattering)

(soft suspenseful music)

(chickens clucking

and squawking)

I'll say it.

Dear God, thank

you for this meal.

Please bless it to

nourish us. Amen.

- Amen.

- Amen.

Short prayer, right?

- Dad?

- Isaac, no problem.

I'm just saying it's

kinda short, that's all.

- And how's the salad?

- It's good.

- Gonna be expl*sive

tonight, sweetheart.

- Can we not say that?

- Like I said, my manners

ain't been too good

since there ain't been

a woman in the house.

Too much gutter

talk at the table.

You're right. I'm

sorry, sweetie.

- No. That.

- [Isaac] Tania!

- Isaac!

- [Abe] What?

- Sweetie. Can you

stop calling me that?

Or sweetheart or any other

form of derogatory speech?

- Derogatory?

- Yes, derogatory.

- [Abe] Sweetheart?

- It's belittling.

- I- I- I don't understand.

- It's, (sighs) it's a

different world, Dad.

- So w- what, is

it like sexist now

to, to call somebody a

nice name like sweetheart?

- It's belittling.

- [Abe] Well, what am

I supposed to call you?

- He's an old man.

Just leave him alone.

- You could call me by

my name for starters.

- Old man?

You, you know, it is just

like you Californians

to take a kindhearted

term of affection

and turn it into some

kinda pejorative.

- That also.

Can you please stop

insulting my state?

- Will your state's citizens

stop being an insult

to my country?

- It's not 1940 anymore.

I don't wanna be called

sexist pet names.

Pet names are for pets.

I'm not a pet. Do

you understand me?

- Yeah. Yeah, I understand ya.

Jesus, is that time of

the month or something?

What's with everybody?

- Dad!

- Cannot believe this.

Oh my God.

- What?

I- I use a, a, a

term of affection

for my daughter-in-law

here and I'm the bad guy?

(insects chirping)

(Tania sniffles)

What, you ain't

gonna talk to me now?

Just gonna cry in your salad.

- No one's crying.

- No one's crying, Dad.

- Well, (sighs)

you could be crying

in some delicious fried

chicken right about now.

(paper rustles)

- I don't eat chicken.

I don't eat any animal

product of any kind.

- Honey!

- Isaac, watch it.

That's a pet name. Derogatory.

- I'm vegan, Abe. Oh!

And guess what, so is your son.

We're both vegans,

but he's too scared

to be honest with you,

so in spite of his beliefs,

he's eating fried

chicken with you.

- [Isaac] Hey, we

talked about this.

- God, Isaac, be honest!

Christ, be honest.

You haven't seen

your father in years

and you think he expects

you not to change at all.

We're vegan.

We are health conscious and

against cruelty to animals.

- You know, that's the

problem with you vegans.

- [Tania] What?

- [Abe] You think I'm not.

- You eat meat, don't you?

- I do. And I eat eggs too.

But look at my

chickens out there.

That is the Taj Mahal

of chicken coops.

Ain't nobody live

better than they do.

And there's not any rooster

out there right now,

so w- w- when I

pick up their eggs,

it's not like I'm taking

their babies or nothing.

They produce 'em on

their own and I eat 'em.

And in return, I treat

them like queens.

If I gotta k*ll a rooster or

something, I make it quick.

I don't let 'em suffer.

You know why?

Because I, too, am against

cruelty to animals.

- You are eating fried chicken.

Fried chicken from

chickens bred on a farm,

bred to be so fat

they can't even walk.

- Well, you didn't want

one of my chickens.

- I don't want any chickens!

There are so many things

to eat besides meat!

(Tania sighs)

- [Abe] You didn't have any

stomach problems today, did you?

- No, I didn't.

Because someone had to

lie about their beliefs

and I had to go along with it.

- [Isaac] (sighs) That's

not what I believe.

- [Tania] Yes, it is.

- No, it's not.

I'm a vegan because

you are a vegan.

And I've tried desperately

to avoid these

stupid conversations,

so I went along with it.

But you have that

jumbled in your mind now

and you think that I bought

into your new age bullshit!

But I never did.

- Don't swear at the table.

- You said you feel

better when you eat vegan.

- Of course I feel

better when I eat vegan.

How, sh*t, how can

you not feel better

when you're eating

that many vegetables?

- Do not swear at this table!

- Weren't you just talking

about expl*sive diarrhea

a second ago?

- I don't care. I got a rule.

- I'm a vegan because with you

veganism is more convenient.

That's it. That's all.

But guess what?

When I go to lunch

with the guys at work,

sometimes I'm not a vegan.

- You are being such an as*h*le.

- (chuckles) Yeah, sure,

I'm being an as*h*le.

You just yelled at

me to be honest!

Well, you know what?

Sometimes honesty isn't so nice!

The diet is not the

only fad of yours

that drives me nuts, trust me.

- While you're on your

soapbox right now,

why don't you just

start listing off

all of the problems

you have with me?

- Hey, it's been a long day.

We, we don't need to

do this right now.

- I'm not going to. I'm done.

(insects chirping)

(paper rustling)

- Well, I'm not. (sniffles)

You guys can make snide

little comments all you want,

but the second it

comes to real talk,

you tuck your tail

between your legs and run.

You didn't talk to your

own father for years

because you wanted to avoid

one uncomfortable conversation.

You had an image to uphold.

You wanted to keep appearances.

You just can't have a

single ch*nk in your armor.

- Yeah, well thank you

for waving our dirty laundry

in front of my father.

I really appreciate that.

- What the hell is

she talking about?

- Nothing, Dad, it's fine.

- It's not fine.

If it was fine, we wouldn't

be having this conversation.

- What are you talking about?

(Tania exhales deeply)

(Tania sniffles)

- Go ahead.

- What?

- Go ahead.

- What?

- No.

- If you don't tell him, I will.

- God, can't you just leave it?

We're here, aren't we?

I'm here! I took

work off to be here!

We're eating dinner together

and you're ruining it!

(insects chirping)

- He suspects something.

Just tell him.

- Why are you pushing

me to do this right now?

- Because I love you.

(Isaac sighs)

(Tania clicks tongue)

Well, then I don't

really have a choice.

Abe, the reason

your son couldn't make it

to your wife's funeral-

- Tania, stop it!

- He wasn't stuck in

the mountains in China.

- Don't do this!

(insects chirping)

- He was in the Pacific-

(chair clatters)

He was in the Pacific Palisades,

touring the house

of a big rockstar.

And he didn't have

the nerve to tell him

that he needed to fly out

and be with his family.

That his mother's funeral

was more important

than this stupid

beach house mansion

with gold records on the wall.

He couldn't be a man.

Not in front of a big

celebrity, he couldn't.

- Son, is this true?

- I didn't want him to go.

We almost got divorced

after that fight.

But eventually he came around

and he felt bad

about it for years.

(Isaac sniffles)

He hasn't talked to you since.

Nor did he expect

a call from you.

(insects chirping)

- Tell me you didn't.

- Dad, I'm so sorry.

(chair clatters)

(Isaac sighs)

- Who was it?

(Isaac sniffles and gasps)

- What?

- The celebrity?

- (sighs) Robert Trujillo.

(sniffles) He's a bass player.

Are you never gonna

talk to me again?

- [Abe] Ain't like we

ever talked much before.

- Dad, I thought it was a,

an important opportunity.

(Isaac panting)

- And what about your mother?

What about that opportunity?

What about the opportunity to,

to grieve with your family?

(Isaac sniffles)

I didn't raise you

to be so selfish.

- Selfish?

If I was selfish, I

would've told you already.

I was trying to

protect your feelings.

- If you weren't selfish,

you would've come home

for your mother's funeral.

Doesn't matter what's

going on in your career.

Nothing, and I mean it, son,

nothing's more important

than your family.

- Dad, it's,

it's more complicated than that.

- No, it isn't.

Don't let any of those

soulless LA freaks

tell you any different.

- Yeah, well, it's

not like you tried

that hard to get ahold of me!

(door thuds)

(fist bangs)

Shows how much you

care about family.

(Isaac sighing)

(soft somber music)

(cutlery clatters)

(soft somber music continues)

(phone ringing)

(Isaac sniffles and sighs)

(Isaac clears

throat and sniffles)

Hello?

Oh, good, good.

That's perfect.

(insects chirping)

(wind whooshing)

(chimes clanging)

(door clicking)

(Isaac sighs)

You not gonna stay

in a hotel tonight?

(scoffs) I thought

you'd be packing.

- Did you want me to?

- No.

(door thuds)

I don't think we'll be

welcome back again though.

Not that I blame him.

(Tania sighs)

This was supposed to

end happily, remember?

(clothing rustles)

(Isaac groans)

(Isaac sighs)

(sheets rustling)

- You know, one stupid mistake

shouldn't break

apart a whole family.

(Isaac sighs)

(insects chirping)

(wind whooshing)

(car engine rumbling)

(car door clicks)

(soft suspenseful music)

(car doors thud)

(suspenseful music)

(Tania sighs)

(footsteps tapping)

(soft suspenseful music)

(door creaks)

(soft suspenseful music)

(soft suspenseful

music continues)

(paper rustles)

(soft suspenseful

music continues)

(footsteps tapping)

(clock ticking)

(soft suspenseful

music continues)

(vase clatters)

- What the hell was that?

- What the hell was that?

- It was probably just

Abe getting some soda.

- What?

- I said it was probably

Abe just getting some soda.

(soft suspenseful music)

(clock ticking)

(object clicks)

(soft suspenseful music)

(soft suspenseful

music continues)

(object rattles)

Does your dad have a cat?

- My dad hates cats.

- What if they found?

- Shh!

(insects chirping)

- Are you calling the police?

- No, you call the police.

(soft suspenseful music)

(soft suspenseful

music continues)

- Who you calling?

- I'm calling my dad.

(phone ringing)

(phone continues ringing)

(phone continues ringing)

- Come on, pick up.

- I thought you were

gonna call the police.

- What if it's

nothing? I don't know.

(suspenseful music)

(phone ringing)

- [Abe] This is Abraham.

Leave a message.

Make it funny. I

might call you back.

(tone beeps)

(soft suspenseful music)

(object clatters)

- I still hear footsteps.

Why didn't he pick up?

- Why do you think

he didn't pick up?

Then again, he still

doesn't have caller ID.

Maybe he's asleep.

- How could someone fall asleep

with the phone

ringing like that?

- I don't know. Stop

asking stupid questions.

(hand slaps)

- What the?

- Get out there!

- You get out there.

- That is not my job.

(soft suspenseful music)

- Fine, you want me to

be a man? I'll be a man.

- What are you doing?

No!

- Yes.

(zipper rasping)

- No! I got pepper

spray in my purse.

- Why don't you get

your pepper spray

and go out there and

see what happens?

What if they have g*ns?

- What if it's nothing?

What if it's Max

dressed as Santa Claus,

he's putting presents

under the tree?

- Well, if it looks like

Santa Claus, I won't sh**t.

(g*n clicking)

- I think I'm having

a panic attack.

- Stop it! You're giving me one.

(Isaac exhales sharply)

- Oh, please be careful.

(Tania groans and pants)

(soft suspenseful music)

Wait!

We still love each other, right?

- I guess.

- Good enough. Go ahead. (gasps)

(door rattles)

(Isaac yelling)

(dramatic music)

(Isaac continues yelling)

(sniffles) Oh, hi,

we have an emergency.

(Isaac yells)

(dramatic music)

(Isaac grunts)

(car tires squealing)

(car engine rumbling)

- sh*t!

- [Abe] What they take?

- I don't know. I didn't

have time to look.

(Abe grunts)

(Abe groaning)

(door thuds)

- [Abe] (sighs) Not my TV.

- Well, looks like they

got the big present

for Max's kids too.

- Is it safe?

- Yeah. Come on in.

- Did you call the cops finally?

- Well, they're on their way.

- Oh, my back.

- You didn't sh**t

anyone, did you?

- No.

You would've heard it.

- [Abe] You been surrounded

by a bunch of

liberals, does for you.

(Abe exhales sharply)

- I hate g*ns.

- You put install

locks on that list.

- Yeah. Get another dog.

- Hold me, you idiot.

(Tania sighs)

(sirens wailing)

(clock ticking)

(sirens continue wailing)

(soft somber music)

(birds chirping)

(melancholic music)

(melancholic music continues)

(chickens clucking)

(melancholic music continues)

- You know, I was robbed once

when I first moved

out to the big city.

Working on finishing

my graduate degree,

I was living in that, that

crappy little apartment.

Some tweaker came in the window.

He took my computer

and my guitar.

At least you got

your stuff back.

Of course, it's not really

the stuff getting taken

that's scary, it's more the

feeling of vulnerability.

- Why did you never tell your,

your mom and me about this?

- I guess I just

didn't wanna worry you.

When was the last

time you mopped?

- Oh, hell, I don't remember.

(soft melancholic music)

(Abe groans and sighs)

You know, I'm glad they

didn't put a crack in the TV.

That would've been

a real tragedy.

(broom clatters)

(water whooshing)

- Hey, Dad?

- [Abe] Yeah.

(Isaac sighs)

- I'm sorry that I didn't

come to Mom's funeral.

The truth is, I.

The truth is, I couldn't

stand to be here.

I- I couldn't stand to

be here without her.

I thought that if I,

if I just stayed busy,

kept living my life,

if I didn't

acknowledge that she

was, you know, (sighs)

that she was gone,

thought it would be easier.

(chimes softly clanging)

- We all make mistakes, kid.

(Isaac sighs)

I've had plenty of time

to think about mine.

I should have called.

- I know we don't really

say this in our family,

but I.

(chimes softly clanging)

- I love you too, son.

(chickens clucking

and squawking)

(birds chirping)

- Come on! Ooh!

Should we tell him?

It would make his

day a lot better.

- Nah, let's keep with the plan.

Save it for Christmas

Eve when everyone's here.

- Mm.

Taj Mahal of chicken

coops, my a*s! (chuckles)

Ooh.

- [Isaac] Oh, I almost

forgot to tell you.

- [Tania] What?

- Dad gave me a g*n.

- Not funny.

- (chuckles) It's true.

- Not funny.

- No one's joking.

(Tania exclaims)

- [Tania] You know that

hillbilly thing I said?

Yeah, I don't want that

version of you back.

- Well, he's coming back,

whether you like it or not.

Where'd that MAGA sweatshirt

go? It's chilly out.

- You are-

- I don't know

if it was that phone call

or another one that came later,

but at some point my

father was informed

that a curious intern

had noticed something odd

about the x-rays taken

before his back surgery.

After some tests, my

father was diagnosed

with a terminal cancer.

(phone ringing)

He lived just long enough

to be able to hold

his newborn grandson.

(birds chirping)

He didn't ever wanna let him go,

but eventually he had no choice.

(birds chirping)

(ventilator whooshing)

(ventilator continues whooshing)

(monitor beeping)

(chicken clucking)

(traffic droning)

(footsteps thudding)

(no audio)

(door creaking)

Sorry, I'm coming.

I just got distracted.

- It's okay.

He was getting fussy, so I

just put him down on the bed.

And Max hasn't even

gotten the truck yet,

so we've got some time.

- What are we gonna

do with his chickens?

- (scoffs) I don't know.

I think your father's

gonna have us eat them

in his honor or something.

- Do you remember

when you were vegan?

- I still am.

- I often wonder how

long someone can be vegan

and not realize gelatin

is an animal product.

- Shut up.

Where you going?

- Check on my son.

(door creaks)

- Hm!

(door thuds)

(slow melancholic music)

- [Isaac] I love you.

(slow melancholic

music continues)

(slow melancholic

music continues)

(melancholic music)

(melancholic music continues)

(melancholic music continues)

(melancholic music continues)

(melancholic music continues)

(melancholic music continues)

(melancholic music continues)

(melancholic music continues)

(slow melancholic music)

(slow melancholic

music continues)

(slow melancholic

music continues)

(no audio)