01x06 - Egeria

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I was thinking...

I was thinking...

You and I might
go away to Baiae.

After next market day.

It's supposed to be nice there...

- and seeing how crowded it's been...
- That's a lovely idea, but...

But what?

I can't leave Lyde alone.

- She needs me.
- She needs you.

Evander's been missing
for two months.

Something bad has happened.

Very likely something bad
has happened.

Very likely he is dead!

Pullo, awake!

Wake up! Mark Antony's waiting.

Mump off and die, you pigfucker.

Right.

Thank you, my honey.

You shouldn't thank sl*ves.

- No harm in it.
- It's bad for discipline.

Happy again this morning?

Niobe, then?

- How's she going?
- I don't understand her.

All the hoo over her sister's
damn husband.

Women. Maybe she's... she's...

She's what?

I don't know.

Women.

Mighty vice-conqueror of Gaul...

Mars and Bellona swell with pride
at your doings.

- And I say...
- Good Juno, what cac you speak?

Would you just get on
with your point, man?

Immediately, Your Honor.

- I...
- Publius Servilius is here.

Good. That'll do for this crowd then.

- Off with you.
- Why...

No, off with you!

Master of horse and people's tribune
Mark Antony...

will receive your petitions tomorrow.

Vorenus!

Out!

Cynthia.

A pear, my love?

Servilius.

My dear old friend.

How are you?

Healthy healthy, I... thank you.

Forgive me, have we met before?

Have we not?

No idea.

I always pretend so with civilians.

It's more politic, nay?

And this must be your beautiful wife,
whose name escapes me.

Poppaea.

A flower.

You'll excuse all the bustle.

I found Pompey's taste
in decor rather dull.

I like a little more color.

As you say.

You shall make it lovely,
we are sure.

You'll forgive me if I talk business
with your husband?

Of course.

Pretend I am not here.

Impossible.

But I shall try.

Now then...

I'm sure you're aware that Caesar...

has left me in charge
whilst he is in Greece.

- Yes.
- Off having fun...

chastising Pompey et al.

Left me here to scribble and quibble
like a damned civilian.

However, I am determined
to make the most of it.

I shall be a good politician,
even if it kills me.

Or if it kills anyone else
for that matter.

So you are, it seems,
the most senior senator left in Rome.

I have that honor.

And a turnabout pompeian to boot.

Which is why I thought
it could be amusing...

if we made you consul for this year.

Consul?

- That's most kind...
- Allow me to finish speaking.

When the Senate next meets...

there are a couple
of legislative items...

I wish to see enacted immediately.

I am sure you will be happy
to assist.

- I...
- Item one.

The Senate will ratify
Caesar's election...

as your co-consul
for the coming year.

But he is dictator in any case.

It sounds so much better
if he is consul.

It's more amicable.

- You got that?
- I... I do.

- I... I have...
- Item two.

You will propose the following law.

Forthwith,
in every province of Italy...

one third of all those employed...

at laboring with cattle
or in agriculture...

must be freedmen or citizens.

I don't understand.

Too many sl*ves, you see?

They've taken all the work,
which causes unemployment...

amongst the free populace.

Now, we need to create more jobs
for our citizens.

But it will be hugely expensive!

It will.

But only to those few rich men
who own all the land.

And they shall
have the consolation...

of having done something
eminently patriotic.

It seems rather... extreme
to say the least.

Ruinous even.

You may well be right.

But frankly, I do not care
whether it is the rich, poor or...

indeed both that suffer.

Caesar wishes this law to be made.

He is my friend,
I will have it made.

If you prefer, I could always
bypass the Senate...

call an assembly of the people

and you can put
your arguments to them.

A fine orator like yourself
might just persuade them...

that Caesar is wrong.

- That won't be necessary.
- Good.

Good.

That's it then.

I don't know what to say.

Say nothing then.

It's often best.

You know Posca of course,
Caesar's creature?

He'll take all the details.

Poppaea...

My dove...

if your husband
should die...

come to me, we will marry, neh?

So...

Keeping their promises, isn't he?

What?

Caesar and Mark Antony,
doing right by the people.

That was your worry, wasn't it?

That Caesar would turn out to be
just another tyrant sort?

But here's him and Mark Antony
getting jobs for the unemployed.

You can't complain
about that now, can you?

He negotiates with a wh*re
and a dwarf at his side.

You think Cincinnatus or Marius
or even the Grachii...

- would demean themselves so?
- Who?

Mark Antony has his odd ways,
there's no denying that.

I'm not going home. I need a drink.

- Drink? You?
- I. Drink.

What of it?

I'll not argue.

- Sorry.
- You need to calm down lately.

How can I be calm?
Two months of this.

- Aren't you done yet?
- Will you sit still?

Won't catch a pretty new husband
with a sour face like that.

I don't want a new husband.

I want Crito.

You can't stay married to a drover,
not now that your father's a prefect.

- It wouldn't be right.
- I told her.

Far too low.

Fortune blessed you,
you haven't paid out dowry.

Listen, don't worry...

we'll find you
someone nice, and proper status.

I don't want anyone!

You can't be unmarried.
It wouldn't be decent at your age.

- Decent she says.
- What's that supposed to mean?

You know what it means.

- You hold your tongue...
- Or what?

What will you do?

It's all right, sweetie.
It's all right.

I thought it was going well
for a while, but now...

Maybe I should beat her,
do you think?

I don't know.

That only works if you keep at it.

A good thrashing
once or twice a day...

till they're docile.

But then they don't look so good.

It'd be a shame to mark up
a beauty like her.

She is.

She's a beauty.

She is that.

sl*ves, money, everything.
What do I get?

Nothing, that's what I get.
A house full of wailing.

My wife won't even couple with me.

Why not?

Says she can't
while her sister stays.

What's her sister to do with it?
What difference should that make?

What is wrong with her?

What is wrong with her?

What is wrong with me?

That I'm served this way?

You should leave her, maybe,
seeing as she makes you so unhappy.

No! I will not leave her.

I'd rather die than leave her.

It's all right, lamb.

It'll be all right.

Who, I say...

faced with the overwhelming force
of the figures and the arguments...

I have here marshalled...

could resist
their overwhelming conclusion?

Therefore...

I ask you...

honored conscript fathers...

to support me
in this important and...

patriotic legislation which will...

Does anyone wish to speak
against the motion?

No opposition voiced.

No division required.

Motion carried.

It's empty.

If there's no wine, water will do.

Thank you, my dove.

So, Lyde, I was asking around,
you know..

about your man there, Evander.

Asking around?

See if I could find out anything
for you.

Only, I know a few
shady characters, see?

Types that might know what's
what when a man's gone missing.

Anyroad, they tell me...

that he got himself
into some trouble...

with some nasty Greek boys
across the river.

Gambling debts, they say.

Gambling?

Evander never gambled.

Well, sure it's the sort of thing...

a man keeps quiet around his wife,
isn't it?

What are you saying?

I'm sorry to say it
but it looks like...

he's not coming home.

Dead, looks like.

Are you sure?

So they tell me.

Dead. k*lled.

It isn't true.

My advice.

Best forget about him.

Best get on with your life.

It isn't true.

It's not so bad.

You've still got people
that love you.

Look to them.

Isn't that right, Niobe?

Best she gets on with her life.

Best she looks to the people
that love her.

Forget Evander.

Forget the past.

I'm away.

Need a drop of wine
to set me up for the day.

No!

Lyde...

please don't.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

It's too late for sorry, isn't it?

You weren't sorry
when you were f*cking him, were you?

You weren't sorry then.
I piss on your sorrow!

I will not shh. You shh!

You're a thief and a wh*re
and you stole my husband!

I stole nothing!

He came to me! He came to me!

I never loved him.
I love my husband!

And if you'd done...
If you'd been...

If I had done what?

If I had given him a child.
Is that it?

I am sorry. Please forgive me.

Please forgive me! Forgive me!

I curse you, sister!

By grace of the Furies, I curse you.

I'll keep your secret...

for the sake of the child...

but don't you ever...

ever speak to me again.

Be careful!

Bravo. Bravo.

A little blood lust
suits you, Octavian.

You look very handsome.

- Does he not?
- He does.

Titus Pullo is a good teacher.

It's a pity Caesar isn't here.

He'd put you on his staff
immediately.

Perhaps you should go
and join him in Greece.

Get some real pompeian blood
on your sword.

- Don't be silly, mother.
- Why not?

If we are not quick,
Pompey and Cato...

and all those fools
will be dead...

before Octavian gets his chance
to shine.

- He's still a child.
- I am not.

He is not.
He is quite the little man now.

I should think
there's more to manhood...

than swordplay.

Octavian...

- have you penetrated anyone yet?
- Mother, please.

Does that mean you have
or you haven't?

- Haven't, but...
- Titus Pullo...

didn't I tell you
to sort that out?

I'm sure I did.

I'm... sorry, ma'am.
I'll see to it.

Do that.

Don't worry, darling.
There's really nothing to it.

Once you're in the saddle,
as it were

it'll all come naturally.

Isn't that right, Pullo?

That's right ma'am.

And none of your sordid soldier's
she-wolves, mind you.

Something clean and pretty.

Clean and pretty it is.

Good.

I'll get Merula make you a toga.

What else?

Perhaps you can arrange
he k*ll someone.

That will happen in due course.

We Julii always have
the needful enemies.

Health to my child.

A daughter.

I wish for a son, a healthy son.

Good night, then.

Good night.

Husband.

What's all this?

I thought it might please you
if we had some time alone together.

I sent the girls and Lucius
to Clarissa.

- And Lyde?
- She's gone to a friend's.

- Please, sit down.
- I've already eaten.

But...

I can have some more.

Excuse me.

Sit down with me.

- That's all right.
- Really, sit.

I can't finish all this on my own.

The calendar is correct...

if you would like
to have me tonight.

I would.

I'd like that.

My dear Mark Antony...

I hope this finds you
in better health...

than my hopes for victory.

I chased Pompey from one end
of Greece to the other...

and he resolutely refused to fight.

I thought this was
his usual obtuseness...

but the old man has
some sense left in him yet.

While avoiding battle...

he has gathered a good
ten legions from the East...

and I find myself badly outnumbered.

Now the cat barks at the dog,
and Pompey is chasing me.

I can outmaneuver him for a while,
but not forever.

My men are tired and ill-supplied...

and we shall soon
have to stand and fight.

I ask you to bring
the thirteenth here...

as speedily as you are able.

Damnation.

Shall I summon the legion legates?

No. Wait.

I must think on this.

This is lovely.

It's just your coloring.

A little loud.

I'd prefer something plainer.

What's the point in plain?

We shall take it.

But this one...

Divine.

- Divine.
- Antony will love this.

He likes me in Eastern styles.

- How much for both?
- Five thousand.

- You are a thief.
- Four and a half then.

Three.

Can we afford such expense?

Things as they are
with Caesar in Greece...

surely we should be more prudent?

Don't worry out a thing, my dear,
I'm thinking ahead.

Titus Pullo is here, dominus.

Tell him I am unwell.

He may come back next week perhaps.

Tell him nothing of the sort.

Octavian will be ready to see him.
in one moment.

And give him a purse.

You've put off this moment...

- long enough, my dear.
- Mother...

You will penetrate someone today
or I will...

burn your wretched
books in the yard.

Off with you.

Coming through.

Noble coming through.
Make way there.

Don't worry, young master.

There's nothing to it.

If there is nothing to it,
why is such a fuss made of the thing?

You'll soon find out.

Vai, vai! Be off with you!

This isn't no infantry f*ck,
thank you very much.

Now now, my honey, calm your stomach.

We've come for the young master here.

And we're well coined.

Excuse me, of course.

I meant no disrespect.

We're honored to service you,
young master.

And what would be
the young master's pleasure?

First-timer.

Nothing too savory.

I'm sure we have just the thing.

Something exotic, perhaps?

Or else something young?
Light, simple.

Little bit skinny, isn't it?

Won't know he's been, will he?

Won't know you've been.

More substance,
yet still nymphlike...

graceful.

This one's fresh off the boat...

- That will be fine.
- Hold on, young master.

No point hurrying.

Big decision, this.

- Let's have a look at...
- This one is perfectly adequate.

You will be utterly satisfied,
I assure you.

Egeria, go prepare yourself.

If we might dispense
with the pecuniary details...

Right.

What's your price then?

One thousand.

Gerrae!

I could have half the wh*res
in Narbo for that, and their mothers.

We're not in Narbo,
whatever that might be.

All right, my dove.

We'll pay.

But the girl better f*ck him
like Helen of Troy...

with her a*s on fire...

or I'll know the reason why.

Speak.

Gnaeus Pompey Magnus
sends greetings.

He hopes you find his house
satisfactory.

It'll do.

- Get to his point.
- His point.

Caesar is doomed and you with him
unless you make a separate peace.

And?

If you do, Pompey
will be merciful and generous.

How?

He will give you your life.
A province.

Money enough
to preserve your dignity.

What makes him think
I value my life so high?

Why have you not left for Greece?

Do not smile at me.

Return tomorrow.

I will give Pompey his answer then.

Not that way.

And disguise yourself.

Dismissed.

You take clothes down?

That's an interesting accent.

No understand.

Where...

are you from?

Where from...

Don't know.

You don't know where you're from?

Rome take me very young.

k*ll mother, father, brother.

Take me.

I see. Sad.

Turn over, would you?

On your hands and knees.

Nice place, this.

Clean.

I don't suppose...

- Seeing as I'm with the quality...
- Not a chance.

No no no.
No, do it for real. Fight.

Come on, fight damn you! Fight!

That's better!

Good.

Brava, Cynthia! Brava!

Brava!

No, don't be so silly,
it's just a scratch now.

There there.

Yes, Posca, what's it?

I am to remind you of your dinner
tonight with Atia of the Julii.

Sons of Dis.

Now, run along.

Where is he? Where he'd be?

Busy man. Politics.

Politics? He promised he would come.

Castor!

Send a man to Pompey's...
I mean, Mark Antony's villa...

and enquire his whereabouts.

Antony's whereabouts.
Immediately, Domina.

Do not say it is I who sends to ask.

Not you sends to ask.

Stay. He'll know it is I who asked.

Send no one.

I will send no one.

If he comes, he comes, I don't care!

Welcome, dominus.

Sorry to be so horribly late.

Endless business.

- Will you forgive me?
- Of course.

I confess, I had quite forgotten
you were coming.

So this is a lovely surprise.

Excuse me a moment,
I will go and dress correctly.

Here he is, young Apollo!

How was it?

It was...

- pleasant.
- Pleasant?

I should say so.

How was he?

Like bull.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

Tell me.

Mark Antony does not intend
to go to Greece to help Caesar.

I have sworn loyalty
to a man of no honor.

You don't have to go to Greece then.

- We'll be together.
- It's true, but still.

Haven't you always said
Caesar's cause is wrong?

That is not the point.
There is a moral principle involved.

What an idiot you are.

Not hungry?

After so many years
of soldier's porridge...

I am easily sated.

Well, these last news from Greece
cannot have improved your appetite.

Hardly.

And is it really so bad?

Caesar always finds a way to win.

Pompey has gathered ten men
for every one of Caesar's.

Arithmetic has no mercy.

I'd feared it was so.

What do you intend to do then?

I don't know.

You've become a powerful man.

The people love you.

Only because they don't know me.

You could be the first man in Rome,
if you wanted.

I hadn't thought about it like that.

Well, you should.

You should think about that.

I'm thinking about something
entirely different.

Water.

I could sleep for a week.

I've been thinking.

We should get married.

Married?

Why should we want to do that
of all things?

Perhaps I love you.

You're joking.

For a moment there,
you had me worried.

I'm not joking with you.

My dear woman.

Please, don't worry,
I'm not going soft on you.

I'm thinking strategically.

If Caesar is defeated...

I can't very well
form an alliance with the pompeians.

- I need protection.
- True.

What's in it for me?

- If Caesar is defeated...
- then I will be defeated also.

Only if you join him in Greece.

But if you stay in Rome,
you will be very well situated.

You have the people with you,
you have possession of the city.

You only lack money.

And whilst your name
is perfectly respectable...

- I am no patrician.
- Exactly.

But allied with my house...

you would have both
coin and nobility...

to make yourself king
if you wished it so.

And you would be queen.

I would be your loving
and obedient wife.

If only I were willing
to desert a friend.

A man of your own blood.

Too honorable for that, are you?

I like to appear so.

But I don't think you'll die
for the sake of appearances.

Will I not?

Caesar will die in any case.

But you are far too clever
to share his fate needlessly.

I had not realized until now...

what a wicked old harpy
you really are.

Get out.

Get out!

Thank you, Pullo.

Hold up! Stand to!

In bed in daylight, what luxury.

Wickedness.

Father!

That dwarf is asking for you.

Excellency Mark Antony...

orders thirteenth legion
to muster on the Field of Mars.

Why? Where are we going?

Greece.

Tribune!

What shall I tell Pompey?

Of course.

Excuse me.

I had forgot you.

His skin is a little dry.

Have him well-oiled
before he is presented.

Bona dea.

I am afraid to ask.

Gifts for Servilia.

How fine you look!

Let me see.

I am so proud of you.

You're a real man at last.

Why are we giving gifts to Servilia?

The old crow stands in well
with Cato and the rest.

When Caesar and his dog Antony

- are defeated...
- If they are defeated.

When they are defeated,
we'll need her good will.

And this will buy it, you think?

I do not see why not.

A large p*nis is always welcome.

You think it's not enough?

After what you did to her?

What I did?
What did I do to her?

Please! I'm not stupid.

It was you made Caesar renounce her.

What if I did? She doesn't know it.

Does she not?

She's not stupid either.

Servilia has no guile in her.

If she knows it we would certainly
have heard about it.

- You know best.
- I'm sure.

In any case, you will
take the gifts to her...

and see what she's thinking.

She's always been very fond of you.

And you will go to Mediolanum.

- Timon will take you.
- Mediolanum?

Yes, they have
a very good academy there.

- I don't understand.
- You're a man now.

Rome's not safe for men of the Julii.

His toenails are ugly.

Have them cut and painted
and put some flowers on his head.

And send over some ice.

Six barrels, say.

Six barrels of ice.

Don't look so foolish.

I know what I'm about.

Your mother's too kind.

To what do I owe this generosity?

It's a gesture of friendship.

Friendship.

Thank your mother for her...
friendship.

I hope one day to reciprocate her...

friendship.

Good.

Excuse me.

Wait.

Please, forgive my ill humor.

There's nothing to forgive.

I have known you
since you were a little girl.

You have a good soul.

I know that
whatever others might do...

you are blameless.

I know that.

I... I do not...
That is, I cannot...

It's all right.

There's no need.

Tell your mother
that I am grateful for the gifts...

and that I treasure her friendship
as always.

You must come and visit me again.
Will you?

I will.

Promise?

I want there to be no ill feeling
between us.

I promise.

You be a good girl.

Do as you're told.

I'll wait for you outside.

Bellona protect you.

And Juno keep you.

A fleet of ships
has set sail for Greece...

carrying the army
of general Mark Antony.

This month's public bread
is provided by...

the Capitoline brotherhood
of millers.

The brotherhood uses
only the finest flour.

True Roman bread,
for true Romans.

This is cac, this is!
I'm wet through.

We're perfectly safe.

A very good offering
was made to Triton.

If Triton can't keep me drier
than this, he can suck my c*ck!

Why can't you learn
to keep your fat mouth shut?