01x03 - An Owl in a Thornbush

[bunniefuu]

What's wrong, mother?

Ruined.

Ruined!

That idiot has ruined us all!

We shall have to leave Rome!

Caesar has crossed the Rubicon.

He's on Italian soil under arms.

It's an act of gross treason.

With a single legion, if you please.

So not merely treason,
but suicidal treason.

Will that be all, domina?

Have you heard?

Strange.

A foolish thing to do.

One legion.

I wonder what he's thinking.

I remember back when I destroyed
the Illyrian pirates

there was one particular
old sea snake...

A Liburnian, if I recall.

Never mind the Illyrian pirates.
What is to be done?

I have already given word.

My legions are gathering.

And you'll crush him, yeah?

Without question.

The poor man is dead.

You are to take our Ubian cavalry...

and scout all roads
and defensive strong points...

between here and the City.

Advance until resistance is met.

If and when civilians
are encountered

deliver the enclosed proclamation.

If you encounter no resistance,
go directly to the forum...

and nail it to the Senate door.

- Sir.
- There will be no rapine

pillage or burning.

Any questions?

None, sir.

That will be all.

What makes your man Vorenus
so morose?

He is stonewall catonian.

He thinks we've committed
a terrible crime

a mighty sacrilege

and shall be severely punished
by the gods.

- He may be right.
- It's a crime if we lose.

If we win, it isn't.

I am merely pursuing
my legimate rights, Antony.

- Of course.
- Do you think we can trust him?

- Who?
- Lucius Vorenus.

Deep thirteenth, him.

He'd follow the eagle up Pluto's a*s.

I told you not to come here.

I had to see my son.

You've seen him. Now go.

And stay away.

Help me, Niobe.

I'm going insane.

You can't forsake me.

- I do.
- I won't give up.

Don't think I will.

You loved me once,
you will love me again.

- I never loved you.
- Lie to yourself if you want

but don't lie to me.

Stay away.

You know you will never see
your husband now, you know that?

Him and all the rest of them
are doomed.

You don't know that.

Everybody knows that.

That may be, but I made a vow.

Go.

Go.

I swear to Dis, if you don't go...

It's all right. He's going.

Just go.

You promised you would never
see him again.

I didn't want him here.
I told him to go.

It didn't look like that.

You could tell papa the truth.
It's not your fault.

If you and I spoke to him...

Never. You have sworn.

You thought he was dead.
Papa will understand.

He will k*ll us all.

You...

You often say that you are adept
with the women.

No idle boast neither.

There are girls from Narbo to Thebes
that scream my name by night.

I have no need of
your coital expertise.

My question more concerns their...
affections.

I'm your man for that to boot.

My wife, she...

You heard what she said,
she hates me.

What's your question?

How do I stop her
from hating me, obviously?

It's not obvious.

I thought you were making her
hate you with a purpose.

That was not my intent at all.
Why would I do that?

I don't know.

You're the clever one, you.
There might have been a...

thousand reasons.

- I love her.
- I require that she love me also

else I am merely her sl*ve.

I cannot tolerate that.

What care you what she feels for you

if we're all going to die
this week or next?

And so we are, but who will
honor my name when I am gone?

Who will pay Proserpina
and Pluto for my keep?

Who will pour wine upon my grave?

If it comes to that,
I shall do the honors.

It's the least I could do.

Thank you.

But it's not the same thing.

Besides...

You'll be dead too.

I'm planning on having a small party
this evening and I'll need you to...

Are you wearing perfume?

Just a dab.

It's horrid.

Horseshit suits you much better.

Now I need you to get more men
to stand guard outside...

to greet my guests when they arrive.

A party?

Is that wise, given how things are?

Perfume, advice...
Whatever next?

I'm just saying Pompey's mob
is out for blood.

- It's best to lay low.
- Lay low?

I'm not a lizard.
I will not be intimidated.

As you like.

Cost you extra though.

You've been paid
quite adequately already.

More men cost more.

I will tell Castor to speak with you.

I don't want more money.

What do you want then?

You know what I want.

Something like that.

- You forget your place.
- My place is with my family.

Say the word, and I'll go to them.

Do your job to my satisfaction and...

I'll see that
you're properly rewarded.

Thank you, domina.

Pompey's outriders.

His legions won't be far behind.

Us and the rest of the thirteenth
will be on crosses by market day.

Thank the gods my father...

didn't live to see his son
die a traitor.

Best to die now then?

- Come on.
- Wait!

We're not here to fight.

"Advance until resistance is met."

That is our orders.
That is what we do.

Why not? The boys are ready
aren't you, boys?

Let's have a go.

- Come on!
- No fight!

No! No fight now!

Damned idiot!

Form up and defend!

Remember your training!

Shields!

Hold your ground!

- Stand tall!
- Hold your positions!

Stay in place, you cowards!

Get back here!

Caesar's scouts...
are only thirty miles from Rome.

Thirty miles?

His speed is uncanny.

Of course, he has only a very few men
which makes a fast pace easier.

He is not leading an army
so much as an armed g*ng.

It is all highly irregular.

- Unethical even.
- Gods...

it is not even the w*r season.

Surely he does not think to
attack Rome directly?

I think that is exactly
what he will do.

How can he hope to succeed?

The problem is, at this moment

we have only three legions in arms
for the defense of the city.

Surely, three is more than enough.

Normally that would be true,
but most of the men...

are raw recruits like those
who fled from the scouts.

The rest... are veterans of Gaul.

Caesar's men. Not reliable.

Rome is undefended!

My legions are mustering
as swiftly as possible

but it will take at least four days
to assemble a force...

capable of defending the city.

Caesar is two days away.

You touch it with a needle.

What do we do now then?

We must make a tactical retreat
to the South.

A tactical retreat, mind you.

Leave the city?

Juno's c**t! Do you run mad?

You cannot speak to me in that tone.

My friends, let us cleave to
the matter at hand.

Is there no alternative

- to retreat then?
- None.

We shall withdraw to Corfinium
and rally my legions there.

Once they are gathered
and in good order

we will simply retake the city.

Caesar has no hope of reinforcement
until spring.

The towns of Italy will close
their gates to him.

We will have
an unassailable advantage...

in men and resources.

So in fact, this is
not a humiliating defeat at all...

but a rare species of victory?

Calm yourself, Cato.
You lack understanding of...

things military else you would see
that my actions...

have been perfectly correct
at all times.

You have lost Rome
without unsheathing your sword.

You have lost Rome!

Did you see?

Pompeian scum at our very door!

It's intolerable.

If Timon and his men weren't here,
they'd be burning down the house.

They are not that energetic.

This suicidal rebellion
has turned everyone against us.

I swear, if Caesar were here now,
I would stab him in the neck.

- He has ruined us.
- I'm not so sure of that.

But I think Pompey's position
is deceptively weak.

Think, think, think.
That's all you do, you silly boy.

All our friends have abandoned us,
cowards that they are.

We Julii are lepers now.

Let us not exaggerate.

Not all of your friends
have deserted you.

And that will be remembered.

You are good loyal people.

It's very tempting to abandon Caesar,
but to do so now

that would look like
we're mere... sl*ves to fashion.

You're staying to protect the house
but don't think for a moment...

that your master and I
will not return.

We will be back by the calends
at the latest.

When I do return, those of you I find
have not done their utmost duty...

will pay with their lives.

General, your escort is ready.

Gnaeus.

Durio...

is the escort ready?

Ready, sir.

Away then.

Husband, the treasury?

Yes, of course.

Durio.

You must secure...

as much of the treasury gold
as possible.

Take a detachment and open up
the Capitoline vaults.

There's not much time,
so do what you can.

Let's pretend we're Odysseus
and his friends

creeping out of the cyclops' cave.

We must be quiet as little mice,
all right?

Come.

- Sorry about all this.
- Do not say so.

I don't mind a little excitement.

All will be well, I assure you.

I have no doubt.

Let's away.

And remember...

no sound.

Break it down!

Here's a mercy.

Instead of living out our lives
in shame and disgrace

we are to be r*ped and beaten...

and torn limb from limb
by a raving mob.

These brutes will not let you pass,
I think.

You may stay the night if you want.

We would be delighted, thank you.

Wait, wait. Wrong way.

The Appian gate is to the right.

We're not going to the Appian.

What?

Of course, your best method
for pleasing a woman...

is the warm, beating heart
of an enemy.

I mean women will say
they don't like it, but they do.

It makes them wet as October.

That doesn't answer.

Well, failing that, talk to her.

Talk?

- But of what?
- That doesn't matter.

It's all about the tone of the voice.

You pretend like you're putting
a saddle on a skittish horse.

"There, honey. Shh, come now."

You know, that sort of thing.

- That's all?
- What else?

Tell her she is beautiful
all the time.

Tell her she's beautiful
every time you see her

even when she's not.

And what else?

Also, very important.

When you couple with her

there's a spot
just above her cunny.

It's like little button.

Now, attend to that button,
and she will open up like a flower.

How do you know this of her?

All women have them.

Ask anyone.

Very pretty.
Come up behind!

- Come with us!
- Sit up here!

You can make me happy!

It'll make me happy.

Here you go.

Up you come.

Come on!

I will k*ll Octavia,
and Merula tends to me

but if she cannot,
and I am taken alive

then you must k*ll me.

And then you must k*ll yourself.

Your survival would be inappropriate.

I would not think of living, domina.

Octavian, who would you prefer
kills you?

I am old enough to take care
of myself.

That's my brave little man.

Servilia.

Can my people be of any assistance
to you?

Thank you but I'm sure we can
manage by ourselves somehow.

Very well.

Mother, I would rather
it were not you k*lled me...

if you have no objection.

Why ever not?
You can't still be angry with me.

- Is that an order?
- Bona dea!

I feel like you have
never listened...

Cerberus is howling for us,
and still you plague me...

with your ridiculous feelings?

If you had only let Glabius...

- and I remarry, I wouldn't...
- Always Glabius!

I spit on Glabius!

- I piss on the wretch!
- That's right, mother

die as you have lived.

- Poison brimming in your soul!
- Listen!

I'll not argue with you.

Castor, be sure to
cut Octavia's throat...

before you cut mine.

Please, Castor, let mother do it.

I won't deny her one last pleasure.
It would be undaughterly.

Listen!

Consul Gnaeus Pompey Magnus
has left the city.

He commands all noblemen and knights
to do likewise.

Those that remain...

- will be considered enemies of Rome.
- Cowards!

You heard, then.

Don't know what good that will do.

Anyone wants to get in,
they'll get in.

Give us a hand, will you?

So your man will be back after all,
looks like.

It looks like.

You don't sound too happy about it.

Of course I'm happy. He's my husband.

If you say so.

I'm sorry.

I was just talking.

I talk too much.

I don't know, Rissa.

I try my best to love him, I do.

I don't know whether I want him
to come back.

I would not credit it
if I had not seen it myself.

Pompey's men deserting the city,
deserting Rome.

Half the Senate a horse.

- A comical sight no doubt.
- Gods.

We...

are in a damned awkward position.

If we stay...

we are declaring for Caesar,
for rebellion.

And if we go, we...

We are with Pompey and the Senate.
There is no middle ground.

So what is the answer?

Caesar is our dearest friend,
but what he is doing is...

I do not know.

You must decide.

Pompey then. We must go with Pompey.

The republic is more important
than any friendship.

- Do you agree?
- It's your decision.

- Pompey then.
- Pompey then.

We have no time to lose.

Tell your women to be ready
to leave as soon as possible.

I'm not leaving.

What do you mean?

I've waited eight years for Caesar.

I cannot leave now.

You cannot stay, not if I go.

Of course I can stay.
I can do as I wish.

Mother, all who stay
are enemies of Rome.

- Pompey has declared it.
- Caesar might prevail.

Yes, he might rule Rome for a week,
a month, a year even

but then some other ambitious man
will k*ll him and take his place.

And you then will be the mistress
of a dead tyrant.

Mother, we know what happens to them.

That is for the gods to decide.
I cannot help loving him.

A va, mother!

You... are blinded by untapped lust.

I'll get you a good big Cyrenian
at the market and have done with it!

You'd better go.

Don't be angry with me.

We may be parted for a long time.

Come.

Goodbye, mother.

Goodbye, my love.

Your daughter left.

- When?
- Just now.

I put a boy to following her.

I'll put a stop to this nonsense.

Fetch your men.

- What?
- Now.

Why have you not left the city?

I could not leave without seeing you.

It's not safe for you.
Everyone knows you're with Pompey.

Don't fret.

I'll be gone by sunrise.

- That's all I have.
- Thank you.

But this is not a robbery.

- Atia.
- I'll give you a moment...

if there are gods
you'd like to speak to.

One favor.

Let my men live.

Sorry.

It's orders.

Give me your sword.

What are they...

the stars?

Stars?

Holes in the celestial spheres.

Holes through which the light
of the heavens shine.

How big are these holes?

They're big.

They only seem small to us because
they're hundreds of miles away.

Big enough for a man
to climb through?

I suppose.

But man would never be able
to get up there in the first place.

I don't see why not.

- How?
- He could hold onto a giant bird.

- It doesn't work like that.
- Why not?

It's philosophy.

It's hard to explain.

Really, Numa,
that's quite unnecessary.

I beg you stand.

There shall be no formality here,
not between old friends like us.

A thousand gratitudes, Atia.

We humbly seek the protection
and friendship of your family.

Sadly, there are some people who say
that I am of the pompeian faction.

Are you not?

All of Pompey's faction
have long since fled.

You stay for fear your factories
and storehouses will be looted.

- I assure you, that's not true...
- Castor.

- Five thousand denarii.
- That much?

Please, let us not be vulgar.

I'll make the arrangements
immediately.

Where is your man Durio?

He is long overdue now.

Durio is the best man I have.

He won't fail.

But if not, what then?

How do we pay the legions?

- How do we feed them?
- I have not the least idea.

You fret like a woman, Cato.

Durio will return
with more than enough gold...

to feed and pay the legions.

By any road we'll be back in Rome
before spring, so stop worrying.

It makes no sense.

We should have been stopped by now.

Why is Rome not defended?

Our boys scared 'em off?

Soldiers of the republic do not run,
so it must be a stratagem or trick.

Then it's a good trick.

Unless the gods have abandoned Rome.

If Mars were watching,
he would not allow such a disgrace.

Maybe he was having a crap
and missed it.

It's that sort of disrespect
that has led us to this sad pass.

If the Gods are not respected,
then why should they help us?

Still no troops.

They will have flanked us, I expect.

Perhaps these drovers know something.

- Salve, citizens.
- Captain.

- You come from the City?
- We do.

How goes it there?

- You're Caesar's men.
- We are.

Fortune spreads her legs for you.

Pompey has fled.

The city is yours.

Why would Pompey flee?

You boys were too fast for him.

He couldn't raise his armies
quick enough.

Him and his men are retreating South,
and the Senate with 'em.

See? Wrong for once.

Well, enjoy your victory, boys.

- How much do you want for the girl?
- Not for sale.

What's in the wagon?

- Grain.
- Show us, soldier.

There's no soldiers here.

My mistake.
You all wear the soldier's boot

so I assumed you are soldiers,
but of course I'm wrong.

But why would nine good soldiers
be guarding a grain wagon?

I don't have to show you nothing.

My fidelity, always, domina.

I do not like to doubt you,
Proculus, but...

it's an age since I've seen you
at my morning levy.

Perhaps you have been unwell.
Goiters is it?

Goiters, as you say.

Fat, greedy men often find it so.

I shall k*ll an owl
that your good health continue.

Speak sense, you creature.

What vile trade is this?

Bringing corpses to honest doors?

Take it away!

See what you have done!

The city's unguarded.

It's true then.

The republic is fallen.

Yet the sky is still above us,
and the earth still below.

- Strange.
- The Gods are in no hurry.

They will take their time
in tormenting us.

Let's go back and see
what's in that wagon.

- Untie that girl.
- Not our concern.

We follow orders.
Advance until resistance is met.

- But that poor girl...
- You will do your duty.

You are a mean b*stard,
that's your problem.

You've no love in you.

You can talk sweet as you like
to Niobe, won't do you any good.

She won't believe a word.

'Ercule, you wake at last.

I was worried.

Water?

My poor baby.

It was not a dream then.

Glabius is dead.

He is.

I'm sorry.

Why do you look at me like that?

Like what?

- As if I...
- Did you?

- How can you ask me that question?
- Did you?

I did not!

And I'm tortured
that you would harbor such a...

- horrible notion.
- Look at me!

Daughter.

I swear on the masks
of all my ancestors...

that I had nothing...

nothing to do with
the k*lling of Glabius.

Who do you think did it, mamma?

The streets are full of corpses.

It could have been anyone.

"These are the words
of Gaius Julius Caesar

direct descendant of Venus,
proconsul of Gaul

glorious imperator
of the Northern legions.

Citizens, I have returned to Italy
with the sole intention of...

claiming my legal
and moral rights.

I have no desire for unlawful powers.

I will name no man an enemy
who does not so declare himself.

Even so, the property
of those enemies...

will not be appropriated...

and their person
will remain inviolate...

as long as their opposition
be peaceful.

Moreover, to any man
that has taken arms against me...

and now regrets it,
I gladly offer total amnesty.

However, those that continue
to use violence...

to oppose my legal rights

they shall receive that
which they seek to give.

Under the auspices
of Jupiter Capitolinus

these are the words of Gaius
Julius Caesar."

- What are you doing?
- I have done my duty...

and I have sinned enough.

I resign.

That's desertion!

I am a traitor and a rebel.

Why not a deserter as well?

You can't just leave the thirteenth.

Goodbye, Pullo.

To Venus The Birth-Giver,
I make this sacrifice.

I am Lucius of the Vorenian clan,
tribe of Stellatina

formerly first spear centurion
to the prime cohort...

of the thirteenth legion.

I have a wife.

Her name is Niobe.

Venus, let her love me
as I love her.

I give my blood to make it so.

Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

You're very beautiful.

I've come to see that...

it may be, through ignorance

that I have not treated you
as I should.

- As I should treat you.
- Please, don't.

When we married
you had only thirteen summers...

and soon enough I was gone.

But now you are a woman...

and I know nothing of women.

Soldiering is all I know.

Which is not useful.

I have been sullen
and untrusting and cold.

But I am not made of stone.

I can change.

I will swear on the life
of my daughter's son.

I will change,
if you would have it so.

Please, speak if you
would not have it so...

and I will leave without rancor.

- It is I have done wrong.
- How so?

I am...

I have not been...

The past is gone.

Can we start again?

I applaud you.

You're about to enter Rome
as a bloodstained conqueror

and yet you look as calm
as a cup of water.

I am glad I appear so.

Gracchus, something more cheerful.