02x04 - An OtterBiography/GreenSleeves

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

Who's that girl? What's her name?
Is she cool? Is she lame?

Oh, you're talking about what's her name

-Pepper Ann
-Pepper Ann

Is she lame? Is she cool?
Is she breaking every rule?

Is she anybody's fool?

-Pepper Ann
-Pepper Ann

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

BOY: Who?

GIRL: Is that that girl from gym class?

-BOY 2: No, That's me.
-GIRL: Oh...

GIRL 2: Who is she,
and why does she have her own song?

BOY 3: Did someone take my lunch?

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million!

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Much too cool for seventh grade

No one's cooler than Pepper Ann!
She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann!

Iceberg dead ahead.

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[WHISTLES]

-Let's do this.
-Milo, what are you... Oh!

Why aren't you in your flage?
Where's the tranq g*n?

Milo, we're not kidnapping Nicky.
Didn't you get my communiqué?

-[BEEPS]
-"Operation Lil Kiwi is a no go."

Scroll down.
"Friendship is about suppot."

Support!
I realized friendship's about support!

As in, not abducting people
against their will

to stop them from playing field hockey.

Nicky feels she needs
to be more well-rounded

to get into that Ivy League summer camp.

And even though Nicky's about to step
into a bloodstream of death...

[GRUNTS]

...all we can do is be here for Nicky.

All right, girlies. Listen up!

I've spent the off-season going over
why we didn't win one game last year.

It all pointed to one thing. Motivation!

And what better way to gas your heaters

than with Shania,
our new field hockey mascot?

MILO: P.A., check the otter!

A costumed mascot for Hazelnut
to call its very own!

All hail Shania!

[CHUCKLES] Geez. I wonder what poor geek
they got to fill the fur.

-[WHISTLE BLOWS]
-[GRUNTS]

-[GRUNTS]
-[GIRL 2 GRUNTS]

[NICKY GRUNTS]

Great Caesar's Fuzzy. [GASPS] No!
Milo, she'll be mashed to a thin paste!

Support, P.A. Remember, support.

-Rock on, Nicky!
-[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

-FEMALE VOICE 1: Oh, no!
-FEMALE VOICE 2: Is she all right?

COACH: Pearson.

Let's take a walk.

Now, I've been watching you, Pearson,

and the one thing you don't lack
is unbridled, unfettered,

albeit misguided enthusiasm.
Bottom line, I want you to be my Shania!

-No.
-Great! You start next game.

-Here's a coupon for the dry cleaning!
-Coach Doogan, that was a "no,"

as in, "There is no way I'm ever going
to put that giant otter head on,

"and prance around in front of people
like a mutated leprechaun."

Listen up, Pearson.
You put on the tail and teeth,

or I'll have you doing laps
'til your social security kicks in!

[GRUNTS] Whoa... whoa. [MUTTERS]

-Whoa! [GROANS]
-[THUDS]

-Oh, P.A. You look wonderful.
-[MEOWS]

Look at it this way, Pepper Ann.
At least no one can recognize you.

Hey, Peppie.

That's it! I can't do this!
I'll be forever branded "Otter Ann!"

-I'll be the laughingstock...
-[CROWD LAUGHING]

...of Hazelnut proper!
I'll have clams thrown at me! Forget it.

Pepper Ann, when life gives you clams,
make clam chowder.

P.A., you're funny! You're peppy!

Your lanky frame is complimented
by the synthetic fur!

You too can join the ranks
of mascotly maestro hood!

Nicky,
when will my social security kick in?

Never, Pepper Ann.

The baby boomers will squander it all
on pad Thai and Neil Diamond albums.

PEPPER ANN: sh**t.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHOMPS]

I got beatboxage ready to unleash
a spirit storm.

[GRUNTS]

Go!

-Hazelnut Middle School Field Hockey?
-Hazelnut Middle School Field Hockey?

Go!

-Hazelnut Middle School Field Hockey!
-Hazelnut Middle School Field Hockey!

-All right!
-All right! You go get 'em!

PEPPER ANN:
Nicky was right. No one recognizes me!

I'm free to act like a total nimrod!
[CHUCKLES] I'm free!

-Go!
-Go!

-Hazelnut Middle School Field Hockey!
-Hazelnut Middle School Field Hockey!

-[GRUNTS]
-[CROWD CHEERS]

-[GROANS]
-[GASPS]

-[SOBS]
-[PEPPER ANN CHUCKLING]

-Don't say it, I know. Lunch is on you.
-[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

PEPPER ANN: [CHUCKLES] Seriously,
are you okay? I'm really, really sorry.

Still getting used to the head, you know?
[CHUCKLES] Hey, Jorge!

Can you set up Craig here
with a couple dogs, and a... [SNIFFS]

...limeanated Chillade?

And Jorge, don't skimp
on the kid's kraut, man. [CHUCKLES]

I'm watching you, pally.
Later, Craig Bean.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

PEPPER ANN: It was a... a freedom rush.

I've cast off the chains
of Middle School conform-nicity.

I don't need to worry
about what people think anymore!

That's their world, guys. Not Shania's.

You collided with Craig Bean
and played it off as a joke.

You took his hand.

What are you guys talking about?
I didn't even see Craig today.

Or he didn't see you.

P.A., you rolled him and then bought him
compensatory dogs and 'ade.

Twas the dizzying might of mascot.

I remember. I spoke. Craig...

"Lunch is on you." Who was I?

Don't you see, Pepper Ann?

The otter costume has afforded you
the anonymity to be completely yourself.

Sans the crushing weight
of your own self-consciousness,

you were free to just be you.

-[ROUSING MUSIC PLAYING]
-[CROWD GASPING]

Oh, Shania! Your wacky antics
have forever captured my heart!

Shania! Shania! The Otta's on fiya!

Shania! Shania! They don't come no flya!

The scoreboard goes hiya
Thanks to Shania!

CRAIG: Not bad for an endangered species.

PEPPER ANN: Thanks. Actually,
I just learned to walk upright last week.

CRAIG: And now you spin hockey sticks.

PEPPER ANN: [CHUCKLES]
What can I say? Evolution rocks.

CRAIG: Hey, Shania. Cool chitchat.

PEPPER ANN: [LAUGHS]
It's spirit storm time! Late.

-[CROWD CHEERING]
-[HOCKEY PLAYERS GRUNTING]

I can't believe this! I'm Jekyll and Hyde.

I'm... I'm... I'm Harry Schnitzer
and Mick Snot!

-Don't worry, Pepper Ann. We'll...
-"Worry"? [CHUCKLES] This is great!

All I have to do is find a way
to wear the costume 24/7,

-and Craig will be mi...
-Careful, P.A.

With Ot-power comes Ot-responsibility.
Use, don't abuse.

[CROWD CHEERING]

-Five, four, three, two, one!
-Five, four, three, two, one!

-[TIMER BUZZING]
-[CROWD CHEERS]

-Hey. Walk you home?
-PEPPER ANN: Okay. Cool. Definitely.

-You, uh, need to change?
-PEPPER ANN: Uh... Nah.

So I said, "Yo! Freezy Pleazy's
Pecan-Dipt Sleetzcups rule!"

-Um, which way to your house?
-PEPPER ANN: Oh, yeah, it's... uh...

Actually, I think it would be chill
if I walked you home.

So, maybe I'll catch you
at the Freezy Pleazy sometime.

PEPPER ANN: Maybe.

Probably.

Craig Bean may catch me
at the Freezy Pleazy sometime.

Craig Bean.

[MELODIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, Peppie.

PEPPER ANN: So I said,
"Thanks for letting me walk you home."

-[CHUCKLES] Do you believe that?
-Did you say it, P.A, or did Shania?

Pepper Ann,
you're using the costume as a crutch.

You can't keep up this charade forever.
The season will end, Shania will end.

You've mastered being P.A on the inside
and the otter outside.

Now it's time to master the reverse,

-to find the otter within.
-[SCOFFS] You don't get it!

If I ever spoke to Craig
without the costume, I'd be... [GRUNTS]

-[GRUNTS]
-[CROWD GASP]

-Tell him.
-Floor on you, pal daddy-o? Rice is nice.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Bye.

-So, uh, Nicky likes you.
-[GASPS]

Maybe Nicky's right. I'm the same person
he's been talking to this whole time.

Maybe he would like me
without the costume.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, like he liked you
in the hallway just now?

Without the costume
you're just another goofy,

lovestruck seventh-grader
fishing for a grin and a pat on the head.

C'mon, accept.

I accept nothing!

Craig likes talking to me,
not the Hazelnut Middle School Otter!

[GASPS] You are not going to...

Tell Craig the truth?
That's exactly what I'm gonna do!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

What up, gurleene?

PEPPER ANN: Craig,
I have something I need to tell you.

Prepare yourself. Whoa! Whoa... whoa
[GROANING]

Whoa! Whoa!

-Hey, are you okay?
-PEPPER ANN: Sure. Totally.

-Absolutely. Yes.
-Good, cause I wanted to talk to you too.

PEPPER ANN: You may not
after what I have to tell you.

Craig, this is going to come
to you as a shock...

I just wanted to say it's been really
great just getting to know you.

-My true identity is...
-I really think you're something else...

-...Pepper Ann!
-...Pepper Ann!

You knew who I was?

Yeah. You think I just wanted to hang out
with a giant otter? [CHUCKLES]

-[WHISTLE BLOWING]
-Looks like the game is starting up.

-Check you later.
-[CROWD CHEERING IN DISTANCE]

He knew who I was...

the entire time!

That means...

You don't need the costume.
He really thinks you're cool.

He really thinks I'm cool. [EXHALES]
Uh-oh! Otter down!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING]

You rock! You rock!

Really? You weren't distracted
when I hit that high C,

and shattered the bagel display case?

Are you kidding? That rocked! That rocked!

Have you thought about bottling
your sweat and selling it?

I'm just grateful for the chance
to perform and perfect my craft.

Nicky, this place is beneath you.
You're ready for the big time.

-You're ready for the Rialto!
-[GASPS]

Please. Only the best musicians
in Hazelnut play the Rialto.

There is no way...
You really think I'm ready?

Are you kidding? [LAUGHS] I wish
I could play an instrument like you.

You can, Pepper Ann.
All it takes is hard work and dedication.

Really?

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, WHISTLING]

[INDISINCT CHATTER]

PEPPER ANN: Sign me up!

LYDIA: Uh-huh. Like I signed you up
for karate lessons,

skating lessons,
conversational Yiddish lessons?

Oh, Mother! Mother, Mother, Mother.
I was young, naive, dare I say, foolish?

I'm older, more mature now.

Well, that's refreshing to know. Biscotti?

Sadly, my answer is no.

But if you still want to take
piano lessons in a month,

-we can discuss it then.
-But Mom! That is so not fair!

I love the piano.
It's my calling, my destiny. Please!

I wuv you, Mommy.

[SLURPS] Oh, all right, Peppie.

But you better not quit this
like you did the others. Is that clear?

Get me my checkbook.

Music is life.

It is the air we breathe,
the sun that warms our bodies...

Mr. Clapper, will you teach me
to play "Let 'Er Rip" with my butt?

And we begin!

Okay. Um... Uh... No. No!

One, two, three. One, two, three.
Stay with me.

Boy, I love you, boy, you ain't no toy

-It's one of my own pieces.
-[CRIES]

And practice clapping two hours a day
until next week's lesson.

That's it? But I still don't know
how to play anything.

[CHUCKLES] My dear,

I'm afraid, you won't know
how to play anything for a long time.

Lousy, lame, good-for-nothin' lesson.

What did you expect?
You can't take one piano lesson,

and suddenly become teen sensation,
Taylor Hanson!

It takes years
of hard work and dedication!

[GASPS] That's it!

Well, I'm glad
you've finally realized that I'm...

The PianoBrite 2000
comes with three different backbeats.

Ska...

house...

and my personal fav, samba!

But wait, that's not all!

The PianoBrite comes pre-programmed
to play up to one song!

The keys light up,
telling you what notes to play.

Follow the lights, and even a beginner
can play like a maestro!

-Whoa! What song does it know?
-"What song?"

Only the song that has warmed
our hearts for generations.

-Only "Greensleeves."
-"Greensleeves."

Eyes front, children!
Let's warm our instruments.

Good. Next!

Brava. Next!

[GRUNTS]

[MONITOR BEEPS]

["GREENSLEEVES" PLAYING]

[CROWD CHEERS]

MALE VOICE: Bravo! Yes!

Do you hear that? They love me!

But you can't really play!
You're deceiving them!

You're a real "the cup's half-empty"
kind of gal, aren't ya?

I can't believe it.
She just started lessons yesterday.

Who needs lessons
when you're bursting with raw talent?

[INHALES] I'm gonna go see
if I can be P.A.'s roadie.

Later, Nicky.

Pepper Ann, I had no idea you had
such a wonderful ear for music.

Yeah. For most it's about hard work
and dedication,

but for a gifted few like me,
it's about raw talent.

Maybe we can even play
some duets together! How about it?

-Beethoven's 9th in C minor okay with you?
-"C minor"? Uh... Sure. Okay.

Um, yes, "Greensleeves"
is a very nice song, but I said Bee...

Well, love to chat, but Mr. Clapper's
asked me to do a set

at Knuts' "Jazzy Jazz Pizzazz" hour.
Call me!

["GREENSLEEVES" PLAYING]

Extry! Extry! Read all about it!

Is the next Mozart right here in Hazelnut?
All signs point to "yes."

This grand dame with a baby grand
has captured our hearts and our...

Don't you think this is getting
a little out of hand?

[SCOFFS] No way. You're the only one
who's making a big deal out of this.

Oh, that's right, Fanny!
She is a genius, a prodigy, a...

-[MUFFLED CHATTER]
-No, I don't think

she gets it from her father.

[CLOCK TICKING]

Will you sign my Fuzzy?

Okay, maybe a little out of hand.

But what's the harm? My music
is bringing people joy and happiness!

-Hey, Nicky! Where ya headed?
-Violin lesson.

Those of us who aren't "bursting
with raw talent" find it helpful.

Did ya catch PA
on Musically Correct last night?

Man, was she on fire!

Then P.A. gave little Timmy her scrunchie,
and, Nicky, he actually spoke.

-For the first time since...
-[ELAVATOR DINGS]

["GREENSLEEVES" PLAYING]

-[ELEVATOR DINGS]
-...getting her own stamp. And check this!

The Rialto called, and practically
begged P.A. to perform there this weekend.

What? They begged her to do what?

I have been trying to play the Rialto
since I was prenatal!

Pepper Ann learns one stupid,
little ditty,

-and they're begging her to play there?
-Nicky, you're hurting me.

I can't take it anymore. Everywhere I go
it's "Greensleeves,"

"Greensleeves," "Greensleeves!"

Don't you think it's odd
that that's the only song

-she knows how to play?
-Nicky, repeat after me. [INHALES]

In with the love...
[EXHALES] ...out with the jive.

You don't have to feel threatened.
After all, you encouraged P.A.

to get in touch with her inner musician.

This should bring you two
closer together as artists.

C'mon, Nicky.
Put the friend back in "friendship."

[GRUNTS]
I bet teen sensation, Taylor Hanson's mom

doesn't make him take out the trash.

-[GRUNTS]
-Pepper Ann! I'm glad I found you!

I wanted to apologize. You've always
been so supportive of my music,

and I've acted like a petty, jealous fool.
Say you'll forgive me?

-Uh... Okay.
-[GASPS] I'm so relieved!

And I want to help make your performance
at the Rialto the best it can be.

I'll handle all the details.
All you have to do is play.

Did you hear that? "Play."
Not "follow lights on a keyboard!"

What do you want me to do?
It's too late to tell the truth now!

I have to give the people what they want.


[SIGHS]

Pepper Ann, thank goodness you're here.
You're on in five.

Where should Milo plug in my keyboard?

Oh, no. I told Milo to leave that ratty,
old thing at home.

This is the Rialto, this is the big time!

I can't use that! I can't play on that!
There are no lights on that!

Lights? What lights?

The lights I follow on the keyboard
that tell me what notes to play!

What are you telling me?
That you've been following lights

on a keyboard this whole time?

-Is that what you're telling me?
-No, not exact...

Yes. Don't panic.
We'll figure a way out of this.

We? Oh, no. You're the one
who's been lying to the whole town!

You're the one who's disgraced
the good name of the Rialto!

You're the one who's ripped the "friend"
out of friendship,

and now
your ship's going down alone, baby!

Please! You can't let me go out there!
They'll tear me apart!

I wuv you Nicky.

[SIGHS]

[ALL GASP]

-It's a miracle!
-Stop the music!

I have been deceiving you.

I don't know how to play the piano.
[INHALES]

I have been following the lights
on the PianoBrite 2000.

On sale now at Novelty Nest for the low,
low price of $19.95!

Oh! Can it play, "Ist Das Nicht Ein
Schnitzelbank"? [GROANS]

I wanted to be appreciated,
but I didn't want to put in the hard work

and dedication necessary.

I want to tell you good people that,
uh, I'm sorry.

I'd like to introduce a real maestro.
Someone worthy of your admiration,

who deserves to be performing
at the Rialto.

DIETER: Oh, thank you Pepper Ann.

Ist Das Nicht Ein Schnitzelbank

-[GROANS]
-The amazing Nicky Little.

[GASPS] Huh? Uh...

[CHEERS, WHISTLES]

Thank you. I'd like to dedicate a song
to one of my best friends.

["GREENSLEEVES" PLAYS]

[SIGHS] How many times
are we going to have to hear that song?

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES]