01x20 - The Martyrdom of Saint Nanette // The Crossing

[bunniefuu]

♪ My name is Angela

♪ Hey, hello!

♪ Welcome to my very own show ♪

♪ I'll introduce my friends to you ♪

Oh no! It's Ninnypoo!

♪ Shoobee-doobee-doo wap-waa.

♪ My name is Angela

♪ And you are not

♪ Nanette Manoir is a stuck up jerk face snot ♪

And now to today's story, starring me.

And NOT starring Nannete Manoir.

So now I am thinking it is a lot easier to listen to one

of Nanette's unFrench reports about France

when you are not really listening.

Angela Anaconda is so much better than me that I just

want to kiss her feet!

And so Marie Antoinette will live on in memory

forever wherever people eat brioche,

which is French for "peasants can't afford it."

And furthermore- Oops.

Sorry, my child.

Pardonez-moi!

You are pardoned, Gina Lash.

Josephine, what is the meaning of this?

Not only are you interrupting Nanett's inspired lecture

about pastry in the French court, but you are late!

Not to mention soiled about the forehead.

Forgive me, Mrs. Brinks, I was in church.

For today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.

Today we wear ash on our foreheads and make a

sacrifice for forty days of something

that is important to us.

I gave up wearing my glasses.

My goodness.

Such a sacrifice!

Yes, yes, it's very nice.

Thank you, Mrs. Brinks,

but mine is a small sacrifice compared

to the lives of the martyred saints,

who truly suffered and sacrificed for their beliefs,

and now live on in memory for eternity.

And your eternal goodness, my dear,

should be a lesson to us all.

Eternal goodness.

Excuse-moi, Mrs. Brinks, but if I may make a suggestion,

perhaps the whole class should try making a sacrifice.

I for one feel that regardless of race,

religion, colour or creed, everyone should have the

chance to live on in memory for eternity.

What a wonderful idea!

Your soulful words and penchant for self-sacrifice

touch my very heart, Nanette dear.

I'm sure that there's a sainthood out there with

your name on it.

Hmmm, yes, "Saint" Nanette.

Saint Nanette??

So thanks to Ninnie-Poo, there is now a lot of

deciding to be done about what we are going to sacrifice.

I bet I can guess what you are going to give up,

Gina Lash - Cinnamon Swirls -- on account of they're

your favorite of favorites.

True, but I was thinking a bolder choice would be

chocolate and all chocolate related baked goods.

After all, what kid has ever attempted that sacrifice,

let alone pulled it off?

[INHALE]

Inspired by Gina Lash's courageous act,

I will sacrifice the very thing I admire,

adore and worship most.

This may shock you Gina Lash,

but it is you and you alone who I must give up.

For the next forty days, I will remain three body

widths away from you [WHEEZE]

at all times.

Technically speaking, three of my body widths are

somewhat, uh, wider than that.

Gordy: If you think I've gone too far with this thing,

you can call it off at any time, Gina Lash!

Hey, what about me?

What should I give up?

You definitely should give up sh**ting spitballs,

Johnny Abatti, on account of everybody hates it so much

on account of you love it so much.

Okay.

But if I'm gonna do that, I better make this last one

a good one-

OW!

Ow, ah what is that?

Well, it's your turn, Angela.

Have you decided what sacrifice you are going to make?

I know, Angela Anaconda, maybe you could give up

being low class.

Oh, I forgot.

You can't.

[CACKLE]

Maybe you should give up having baloney for brains.

Wait a minute! I've got it!

My sacrifice will be to stop, um,

letting my imagination run wild when I think about,

um, other people.

Hey, what is Nanette doing wearing my clothes?

I'm sorry I'm late, Mrs. Brinks,

but I had to walk all the way to school.

For you see, as my sacrifice I have taken a vow of poverty

and given up my chauffeured town car as well

as my magnificent wardrobe.

Oh how horrible!

She's gone from riches to rags!

She's shopping off the rack!

Yes, it's not easy wearing clothes as tasteless

as these, but I'll manage, somehow.

Tasteless?!

Class, scrap the lesson plan!

I want everyone to write a hundred word essay entitled,

"Why I Believe Nanette Manoir Should Be

Crowned the Next Saint."

Oh, she'll be crowned all right.

Angela, this means you too!

And remember class, penmanship counts.

We're sending these in to the Pope!

Good thing I have given up thinking bad thoughts on

account of if I could, I would definitely

be thinking one now.

What wouldn't I give for one chocolate sprinkle?

Absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder.

I feel your pain, Gina Lash!

What are you having for lunch, poor Nanette?

Poor, poor Nanette?

Just this meager bowl of gruel,

which is French for "really disgusting soup."

For you, my friend.

It's the finest quality Swiss chocolat from my

former life of wealth and flawless taste.

Alas, we poor children don't eat sweets - except for the

small chocolate coin we get once a year from Saint Nick.

I'm not thinking about her. I'm not thinking about her.

I'm not thinking about her.

Phew, that was a close one that was close!

I guess the only way for me to stop thinking about

Ninnie-Poo is for me to start thinking about

something else.

The best way to keep your mind occupied is by doing

arts and crafts.

A good hobby has saved me on several occasions from

racing back into the arms of Gina Lash.

Which is easy, on account of you have never been

in the arms of Gina Lash.

True, mmmya, And, and I don't even think about it,

because I'm so busy making origami.

[doorbell rings]

Hello, Mrs. Anaconda.

I have cleaned out my closet of all my beautiful earthly

designer belongings and I am giving them away

to the needy.

Oh, look at this darling sweater!

And it's Angela's size too.

We'll take it!

I'm still not thinking about her,

I am still not thinking about her.

You know Angela, the beauty of origami is that

you really don't need scissors or other sharp instruments.

That may be so Gordy Rhinehart.

But now I am thinking that a hobby is not enough.

Hmm, if only there was a place I could go.

I think it is work-ing on-account-of my brain

is not think-ing.

This rocks!

What am I thinking?!

I got to get out of here.

My brain needs fresh air!

Too bad the air out here is not that fresh on account of

Ninny Wart's clone club is stinking it up.

Not to mention the original air stinker- upper,

Nanette La Pee-Yew.

This acting poor thing is getting old fast.

How many more days until I qualify for sainthood?

I mean, I want to be immortalized for all

eternity, but this is taking forever.

I knew it!

Saint Nanette has been faking it all along.

Hark!

It is Little Nin, who wants to be the Patron Saint of

Phony Fibbers.

Too bad you skipped the suffering part,

but maybe I can help.

First, you will need to wheel this wheel of stinky

French cheese up this mountain of gruel,

which is as grueling as it sounds.

Watch out for skiing Josephine,

who still cannot see you.

Gina Lash has just what you need to wash off the waste

and sweeten your spirits.

Mmmm, chocolate.

Good thing I know where you can get squeegie-clean,

oh chocolatty-cheater.

Aaahhh!!!

And now that your suffering is complete,

it's time to get your wings.

Sorry, Ninnie Poo, no room for fakes at

St. Peter's pearly gates.

But look, here's good Saint Nick to give you something

for your trip to where you are going,

down below.

Hope you like hot chocolate!

Something tells me tomorrow is going to be a very good day.

Simmer down, class.

Our little Nanette wishes to spread

her saint-like good will.

I am collecting canned goods for poor children who don't

have their own personal chef to cook for them.

Are you sure you are not collecting cans of goodies

for your next picnic, Nanette Manoir?

Why, Angela!

I am shocked and sorely disappointed.

But I saw her cheating, Mrs. Brinks!

I really did.

That'll be quite enough.

But because the school board has threatened to fine me

for violating the separation of church and government

policy, anyone who wants to abandon their quest

may do so, starting now.

[CHEERS]

I cannot believe you people.

Whatever happened to sacrifice?

I for one intend to keep depriving myself of worldly

goods, at least until my application for sainthood

is approved.

Josephine, no!

Nanette, is that caviar?

Yeah, Nanette.

What was that you were saying about sacrifice?

Oh forget it.

Never mind.

Forget it? I don't think so, Little Nin.

On account of this day will live on in our memory

for all eternity.

[LAUGHS]

Today is my lucky day 'cause Gordy Rhinehart let

me take care of Sherman, our class chick even though it

is really his turn on account of he was the only

one to beat Sherman at tic-tac-toe.

Yes!

Too bad for Gordy he's allergic to chicken feathers.

A-a-a-and STOP!

Hey, Angela, I can't hear nothin'.

You think maybe Sherman croaked?

He is kind of quiet.

Maybe I better see if he's okay.

SHERMAN!!!

I said - a-a-a-and STOP!

But Ms. Jenerette!

You have to save our chicken on account of he just escaped!

Sorry, kiddo.

I am strictly forbidden from leaving my post,

even for chickens.

But Ms. Jenerette, he's about to get eaten by that CAT!

[GASP] Not today, little sister.

Here, take my official Crossing Guard stop sign.

And whatever you do, don't let anyone cross!

Hold tight, little fella! I'm comin'!

A-a-a-and STOP!

A-a-a-and why should I?

Because Ms. Jenerette said I'm not allowed to let

anyone cross on account of I'm not allowed to.

I'm not "anyone," Angela Anaconda.

And if you don't let me cross,

I'll be late for my apres midi salon treatment.

Hurry, ma chérie!

Or we'll be late for our mud bath and manicure.

I can't, Mother.

Angela Anaconda won't let me cross.

That's right, on account of Ms. Jenerette told me not to.

Don't be silly, Angela dear.

Ms. Jenerette surely wasn't talking about us,

she was talking about, well, others.

Come, Nanette.

Here's your bird, kiddo.

Thanks for saving our chicken.

A-a-a-andCROSS!

You mean to tell me you made my precious Nanette late

because of a chicken?

That is totally unacceptable.

Somebody is going to pay for this!

Maybe we should have spent less time teaching Sherman

tic-tac-toe and more time on traffic safety.

[SNEEZES]

So today, on account of Sherman caused so much

trouble yesterday, I am keeping him safe and

securely fastened in his box with my brother Derek's belt.

Hey, where's Ms. Jenerette?

Bonjour, pedestrians.

If you're waiting for Ms. Jenerette to help you cross,

I'm afraid you'll be here all day.

No we won't.

Ms. Jenerette is the most dedicated crossing guard of

all the crossing guards of Tapwater Springs.

Au contraire, Angela Anaconda.

She was the most dedicated crossing guard of all the

crossing guards of Tapwater Springs.

she's now the most fired crossing guard in all of

Tapwater Springs.

Mother had her dismissed.

Ms. Jenerette?

Dismissed?

But how are we supposed to get to school?

Well, I would give you a ride,

but I really don't want to.

Guys, check it out!

They got snacks in here and everything!

[COUGHING]

What is the meaning of this t*rd?

We're sorry, Mrs. Brinks, but we couldn't cross the

street on account of somebody's mother got

Mrs. Jenerette fired and we had to take the long way.

Excusez-moi, Mrs. Brinks, but somebody's mother was

only thinking of the boys and girls of

Tapwater Springs.

How civic-minded of your impeccably groomed mother.

As for those of you who were unable to make it to school

on time today...

I feel like it's all my fault that Ms. Jenerette got fired.

[COUGHS]

Well, you could always give her flowers.

Nothing says "I'm sorry" like daffodils and pansies,

ooooh, and an accent of babies breath!

I don't know if Ms. Jenerette's the daffodils

and pansies type.

How about double-fudge brownies?

Everybody's the double-fudge brownie type.

You both might have good ideas,

but you both also have no idea how to clap erasers.

Here, watch me.

Show us again.

[SIGHS]

Whoa! Slow down, speedy!

A-a-a-and stop!

Oh, hey there, Angela!

Need to cross?

I still got my stop sign!

No thanks.

I just wanted to bring you these flowers-

A-a-a-and CROSS!

They're for you on account of I kinda caused you

to lose your job.

Ahh, don't sweat it, kid. I don't blame you.

I blame those pesky Manoirs.

Really?

Sure.

Besides, it's not a total loss.

I'm still a crossing guard,

Why, today I even helped a family of chipmunks

cross the road, heh.

That ain't too bad, huh?

But this was awfully nice.

Thanks.

Duck!

[SCREAM]

My brand new monogrammed picnic sneakers!

Soaked!

I thought your job was to prevent accidents,

not cause them!

Someone's going to pay for this!

Heh, heh. Want me to put those in, ah, water for you?

So now, on account of I got Ms. Jenerette fired from two

jobs, I am bringing her these delicious double-

fudge brownies like Gina Lash told me to.

Hey Ms. Jenerette.

I heard you were the new assistant to the assistant

to the principal, so I brought you these just for you.

I appreciate the thought, Angela,

but right now I'm in charge of coffee and filing and you

best not distract me.

But aren't you going to at least try one?

You can file them under "D" for "delicious"!

Well, I suppose I could have just one.

Okay Claudette, pull these files!

And the principal wants a cup of decaf ASAP!

Um, if it's not too much trouble.

Don't worry, Ms. Jenerette, I'll get the coffee!

Angela, maybe you shouldn't.

My perfect file of awards and achievements!

Ruined by cheap domestic coffee!

Whoever's in charge of coffee and filing's really

going to pay for this!

Heh, heh. Want me to make a fresh pot?

I feel terrible, Sherman.

Every time I try to help Ms. Jenerette,

I just make things worse.

And even though a lot of it is nosy Ninnie's fault,

I still wish I could undo what I have done.

Oh well, at least I have you, Sherman.

Scram!

Peck on someone your own size!

Sorry, ma'am!

Ms. Jenerette?!

What are you doing here?

Just trying not to get arrested.

Gosh, I feel like everything has been my fault.

Ahh, what's done is done.

Let's face it, I just don't have what it takes

to be a crossing guard.

That's not true, Ms. Jenerette.

You're the best crossing guard Tapwater Springs ever had.

Being a crossing guard's the only thing

I ever dreamed about.

Now I'm washed up, a useless,

worthless has-been.

Why oh why did that chicken cross the road?!

Heh, well, uh, maybe Sherman and I better go now.

I have to wake up early tomorrow on account of

I have to take the long way to school.

What? The long way?

There's no crossing guard on account of they haven't

replaced you.

We have to either take the long way to school or take

our chances dodging rush-hour traffic.

Dodging rush-hour traffic?!

Kids have enough problems these days without having to

worry about dodging rush-hour traffic!

Yeah, like trying to dodge alley cats when we have to

take the long way.

I cannot allow this travesty to continue.

I'm gonna go get me a job back!

HUNH?

And so, with the birth of this stoplight,

crossing guards are hereby obsolete!

A stop light?!

They've replaced me with a stop light?

Oh, hello Ms. Jenerette.

Care to cross safely for a change?

[GROAN]

I'll show you a change, Nanette Manoir.

So now that you are the class chick,

I guess it is up to me to take care of you!

Why so quiet, Ninnie-pooh?

I don't hear a peep.

Perhaps I should check to make sure you haven't croaked.

Why Ninny-bird?!

This cramped little shoebox is a foul place for someone

as refined as you.

"How about a little fresh air?"

I will say.

Cheep, cheep, cheep.

Oops!

Don't look now, my little Chick- a-ninnie,

but here comes an alley cat you'll most definitely want

to dodge.

"Help me! Help me!"

you will plead.

"This alley cat looks awfully hungry and as a

Manoir I have been bread for good taste!"

Don't fret, c*ck-a-Ninnie Doodle,

Gordy Rhinehart is here to save YOU.

Too bad he is also allergic to your fake French feathers.

"Help me, Angela Anaconda, who was right about

Ms. Jenerette being better than a stop light could ever be!

I'm drowning in a pot of cheap domestic coffee!"

you will holler.

Worry not, my little chickadee,

I know just the place to keep you out of danger.

Your perfect file of perfect awards for your perfect

achievement of perfect obnoxiousness,

where I will file you under "N" for "Na-nuisance."

Oh brother.

Looks like the light's gonna change.

Aidez moi, which is French for, HELP!

Don't just stand there.

Save my precious Nanette!

Yes, ma'am!

[SCREAM]

My brand new ribbon cutting ceremony dress! Ruined!

Mother, do something.

Count on it, Princess.

Claudette, that light is positively dangerous.

I demand it be dismantled immediately.

No problemo.

It'll be my pleasure!

And make sure we get Ms. Jenerette back!

Yes, yes. Of course.

And don't forget her sign.

And a raise!

Fine, fine, fine.

[CHEERS]

Yup, it's a dirty job but I love it!

♪