01x13 - Mapperson's Daughter // Big h* Down

[bunniefuu]

♪ My name is Angela

♪ Hey, hello!

♪ Welcome to my very own show ♪

♪ I'll introduce my friends to you ♪

Oh no! It's Ninnypoo!

♪ Shoobee-doobee-doo wap-waa.

♪ My name is Angela

♪ And you are not

♪ Nanette Manoir is a stuck up jerk face snot ♪

And now to today's story, starring me.

And NOT starring Nannete Manoir.

It is Art, and today Mrs. Brinks is making us create

beauty out of wet paper maché.

I think we should name him Bennie.

It has a quiet dignity so typical of his species.

Isn't that right, Bennie?

Yes it is.

A talking beast?

How quaint.

It's not a beast, Nanette Manoir -- it's a giraffe!

Pardonez moi, Angela Anaconda,

it's just that I thought our assignment was to create a

work of beauté, which yours is most certainly not!

May I present, the blushing goddess,

Venus de Nanette!

Ooooh!

Perhaps next time even the four of you will be able to find

a more suitable subject.

Perhaps next time you will be able to take your stupid

Venus De Nothing straight to--

MAPPERSON'S! Mapperson's Ba--!

I've got to find the rest of this article!

What for?

It's probably just another bake sale or something.

Bennie!

Here it is!

Mapperson's Bakery, smudge, smudge,

grunion run, retired??

RETIRED?!

Hold on Bennie!

You'll make it through, I promise little one!

Don't do it, Mr. Mapperson! Don't retire!

If I don't get my daily dose of Cinnamon Swirls,

I'll lose my mind!

Look what she did to Bennie.

Don't worry Gina, I'm not retiring --

the bakery truck is.

But what about all the shut-ins who rely on

Mapperson's delivery service?

Don't you worry.

Soon as I pick a new face for the new truck,

we'll be back on the road.

Say, I don't suppose any of you kids would wanna have

your face on a truck?

Me? The Mapperson's truck facel?

I tell ya what, you just bring along a picture

tomorrow morning, and I'll be happy to consider

any of you.

You hear that!

One of us gets to be the new Mapperson's truck face!

Right, Johnny Abatti.

So whatever you do, don't tell anybody anything.

That way Mr. Mapperson'll be sure to choose my face,

or one of our faces to be the face!!

Where's your picture, Gina Lash?

I'm not entering.

People should buy Mapperson's pastries because

they're a quality product, not because they've been

dazzled by my good looks on the side of a truck.

Besides, I have issues with the exploitation of my image

for commercial gain.

Suit yourself, Gina Lash.

With one less face in the running,

my face's chance of having my very own face on it's

very own truck, is that much better!

I don't get it?

How did everyone find out?

Erm, I may have told a few people at the

pizza parlour last night.

And then you'll get your face on the side of a truck!!!

Don't tell anyone!

Shhhh!

Mr. Mapperson! Mr. Mapperson!

I hope it's not too late for me,

officially the prettiest girl in Tapwater Springs,

to submit a professionally photographed entry portrait.

Huh?!

So now on account of Johnny Abatti had to go and make a

public announcement, every face in the whole town has

got a shot at being the new face for Mapperson's

new bakery truck.

Well, almost every face.

And being the truck face is all anyone can think about.

Does anyone know who the patron saint

of baked goods is?

We'll need eighty reams of paper,

a gallon of toner, seventeen glue sticks,

and a fuzz buster.

If you two want to be my publicists,

you had better be writing this down?

Uh Gordy, you gonna eat that doughnut?

Doughnut!? That's it!

Enough about Mapperson's Bakery!

I can't take the pressure anymore!

Come on, Bennie, I'm withdrawing my picture.

But Gordy, you can't leave school in the middle of the

day, it's truancy, punishable by six weeks of -

is that chili con carne?

Another face bites the dust.

Forgive me, Mr. Mapperson but-- [SCREAM]

A BURNT MUFFIN!

It's a sign!

I should never have entered a contest fraught with such

earthly vanities!

Burnt banana nut!

Mr. Mapperson, this contest is taking your focus away

from your baking.

Call it off, before any more muffins fall victim to this

senseless dog and pony show!

Ah, don't worry Gina, there's hardly any faces

left in the running.

Candy May dropped out because she thought putting

her face on a truck would hurt.

Fact is, the only kids left are Angela,

Nanette, Johnny, and Jimmy Jamal.

Ahhh, minus Jimmy Jamal.

Well Johnny, I guess it's up to you and me.

Uh, actually, I'm out too.

Nonna said that if I use my face to endorse Mapperson's

instead of Abatti's, she'd give me the evil eye!

Hello John, John's little friends.

Nanette, what are you doing?

I've decided to give the town a little preview of my

face, so they can get used to seeing me everywhere.

Et voila!

Will ya look at that!

Walk around the block until I say so.

Go. Go.

So now I am thinking that if Ninnie-Poo can have an

impressive idea, maybe I can use my dad's Squeegee-Easy

to also have an impressive idea too!

♪ I'll wash his window and with some luck, ♪

♪ he'll put my face up on the truck. ♪

♪ Then that somebody will frown and fret, ♪

♪ cause he picked me and not - ♪

A-hem.

Nanette?

What a charming singing voice.

I'm surprised every dog in town isn't howling along.

Ahhhh!

You won't get away with this, Angela Anaconda!

Why I'm going to -

Wow! These windows never looked cleaner!

Nice job Nanette!

Nanette!?

I thought this would make it easier for customers to see

into your bakery and view the wonderful baked goods.

That's the kind of considerate kid you want

on a bakery truck.

This is about the face again isn't it?

I don't know why Mr. Mapperson just doesn't build

a truck shaped like a loaf of bread.

There's a Pope-mobile, why not a loaf-mobile?

Yeah but who wants their face on the side of a moldy

loaf of bread.

Don't you get it Angela?

The only thing that matters about Mapperson's

is the product.

That's it, Gina Lash! The product!

Mr. Mapperson, may I please have one of your delicious

muffins, on account of they are so delicious?

Huh!

I find them more than just deliciousmI find them

trés magnifique!

That's why I'll have three!

Well, then I'll have a baker's dozen!

Care to sample my new Double Chocolate Macadamia Sugar,

Sugar snaps?

Nothing makes me happier than sampling your

trés, trés bon confections.

Personally, I think it's quite rude to turn down

offered food, especially when there are children

starving in mainland China, don't you Angela?

I like your attitude Nanette.

Have you considered a future in baked goods?

Maybe I could have my face on a truck if I cheated too,

cheater-cheater, poodle-feeder.

So now that you have gotten your way,

my famous face friend, let's take this baby

for a test drive!

Ahhh!

You will scream like a Ninnie!

Poor Little Nin.

You're covered in mud.

But don't worry, my Dad's Squeegee-easy will clean you

in a jiffy.

Help me! Help me,

oh Angela, whose face deserves to be on a

truck much more than mine, you will scream!

Watch your step, I will say.

What's that you say?

I'm sorry, Ninnie- Poo but you'll have to speak up,

on account of I can't understand you,

cuz your famous face is full of dough!

Maybe you just need to be kneaded.

Time for your starring role, my little trés,

trés bon confection, which is French for "flat as a pancake."

Oh no, Ninnie-Winnie!

It looks like you didn't make the final cut,

my flat-faced friend!

Now, just a little cinnamon and sugar to make it taste

just right!

'Come and get it!' I will yell.

I don't blame you, Oo-La-Cheater.

Nanette and her fickle friends would leave a bitter

taste in anyone's mouth.

[COUGHING]

BLECHHH!!!

Ah-hem! You're gonna have to pay for them, y'know.

Uhm [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

Well Angela, I hope you're not too disappointed

by the results.

After all, you were trés out of your league.

Down, Bennie. It's okay.

It's Ooookay.

Thank you all for coming.

So without further a-dough, [CHUCKLE]

I give you the new Mapperson Bakery truck face.

Me? Oh, what a moderate surprise.

I only hope that - GINA LASH?!

[SCREAM]

But Mr. Mapperson, I didn't even give you my picture.

I didn't need one!

You're in the store every day.

What other face would I choose to grace the truck

but the one belonging to my best customer!

My fellow Mapperson's patronsm I'm afraid I must

decline this crown and my place on the truck.

I can not taint the sweet taste of poppy seed muffins

with the evil seeds of commercialism.

Oh, and besides the crown of rye,

you also get all-you-can-eat cinnamon swirls.

For the rest of my life?!

No. For the rest of the day.

Hmmm. Good enough.

No hard feelings, Angela Anaconda?

I know you wanted to be on that truck.

And you must be jealous of my all-you- can-eat

cinnamon swirls.

Actually Gina Lash, if I never see another

Mapperson's product again, I'll be just fine.

I suppose it makes sense that you won, Gina Lash.

You are Mr. Mapperson's biggest customer.

I'm so sorry that you didn't get your face on the truck

Angela, I guess you just didn't have the necessary

'je ne sais quoi', which is French for "life is rough."

Well for your information, Nanette Manoir,

you didn't get your face anywhere either.

Nanette: Au contraire, Angela.

Mr. Mapperson is using my face to represent

his brand new product.

Isn't that right, Mr. Mapperson?

Yep!

When I saw how much her poodle liked my muffins,

I said to myself: 'That's the new face of Mapperson's

Meaty-Munch Doggy Treats!'

Doggy treats?!

That's right!

Ahhh!

I guess you're right Nanette, life is RUFF!

Rrrruff! Rrruff-ruff!

[GIGGLE]

My Dad is the most perfect Dad in the world.

But today he is not so perfect,

on account of he has entered us in a square dancing

contest -- for square dancers!

Giddy-up, partner!

Gotta get ready for the father-daughter h*-Down!

Can't you and me do something fun instead?

This will be fun, Angel-fish.

You'll see.

Matching western outfits that match?!

Technically, they're called 'Duds.'

Dud is right.

I'll never be able to show my face in this town again!

Mrs. Brinks: Angela Anaconda!

Yee-Haw!!! Well, tarnation!

Blamed if it ain't 'ole Cowboy Bill hisself!

How's that mechanical bull I sold you, Spangly?

Oh, she's still a-buckin' like a pony in a

poppycock coop!

Spangly Jangles talks and spits like a real live cowboy!

He even looks like one too!

Well sir, I kin see y'all have mighty fine taste

in western duds, yessir.

And have I got jes the thang fer you, lil' lady.

Cool, real live spurs.

Maybe this h*-Down idea is not such a bad idea after all.

Now y'all are ready to square dance with the best

of 'em, yessir.

Nanette: Oh, you'll be square dancing with the best all right,

Angela Anaconda.

Blech!

It is Nanette Manoir, my most hated enemy

who I hate the most.

What is she doing here?

Howdy, you all!

Ah, we're here to purchase a whole "passel",

as they say of western wear, to donate to the less

fortunate participants in this year's h*-Down.

And Daddy says I can have my hand-made,

imported, kangaroo-skin boots hand- buffed

by an authentic old-west cowhand.

Merci beaucoup, Mr. Jangles.

Which is French for "do a good job."

You aren't actually going to wear that faux turquoise

bolo tie, are you, ol' chap?

Ah, heh, heh, uh, so um, Howell, ah,

how's business these days?

Booming, as usual.

Say, didn't you sell me a bull like that but bigger?

Funny, I don't recall ever paying it off.

You didn't??

Well, I'll have to talk to Gen-- er,

I mean, my uh, bookkeeper.

You do that, and have her send me a receipt.

I'm donating it to the h*- Down.

Another tax write-off, you understand.

Of course, the real big hit of the affair will be my

cactus flower and me do-si-do-ing our way to yet

another square dance victory.

What will that make it, daddy?

Two years in a row?

Three, kitten - three.

Well, I wouldn't be clearing a space for that trophy just yet.

Angela and I are entering the competition this year,

and uh, we might just give you a run for your money.

[LAUGHS]

[COUGHS]

Oh, you were serious!

Daddy, if the Anaconda's are going to be in this year's

h*-Down, oughtn't we buy Angela a proper western outfit?

After all, we are donating western wear to the

"less fortunate" participants.

And look-- Angela Anaconda's socks are so old they keep

falling down into her boots!

Now, Angel-Wings, I'm sure Nanette knows her offer is

entirely unnecessary.

C'mon Bill, it's not like your daughter couldn't use

some sprucing up.

After all, she's not going to get noticed for her dancing!

Alright, Howell! That's it!

You can insult my business, you can even insult my bolo,

but nobody insults my daughter's do-si-do!

Nobody!

I challenge you to a h*-Down Showdown!

Why, uh don't we make it a little more interesting,

shall we?

Say, if we win, I won't have to pay you the balance of

that mechanical bull.

Okay. But if we win, you'll have to buy ten more bulls from me!

Deal?

Deal.

And may the squarest dancers win.

Whoaaaa!

So now we have to learn how to square dance

on account of it is a h*-down show-down

and we don't know how.

♪ Swing yer partner, do-si-do. ♪

♪ Allemande left, to and fro. ♪

♪ Skip-to-m'-lou, don't step on 'er toes. ♪

♪ Promenade, an' 'round she goes. ♪

Princess, allow me to introduce Pierre,

world-renowned choreographer.

Enchanté.

Which is French for we'd better win."

You want to win?

Well, winning costs.

And right here is where you start paying in sweat.

Not bad.

♪ Sashay left an' sashay right. ♪

Me and my dad almost don't step on each other's feet

anymore except if my socks fall down and I have to pull

them up on account of they won't stay there.

I've got a way to make saggy socks a thing of the past.

Cowboy boots??

Not just any cowboy boots!

Cowboy boots with my patented sock-lock system.

They have two-way super-sticky-tape inside to

stick your socks to, so they won't sag ever again!

♪ Now turn 'em 'round just a little bitty, ♪

♪ hey look at you, you're steppin' pretty! ♪

♪ Allemande left but doncha roam, ♪

♪ grab yer partner, promenade home! ♪

Not bad!

Those Anaconda's don't stand a chance.

We're a shoe-in to win the h*-Down.

Those Manoir's don't stand a chance.

We're gonna wipe the dance floor with Nanette's baloney curls!

Yeah!

Whoooa!

Well, at least my socks stayed up.

Angela Anaconda, I can't believe you're wearing that

tacky outfit in public.

And after I offered to buy you some real western

clothes too.

Yee-Haw!!!

Spangly Janglesl?

Did you come to watch us dance the square dance?

[LAUGHS]

Mr. Jangles is one of the judges of tonight's contest,

aren't you, Jangles?

Here-- for all those "duds" I bought from you for the,

uh, "less fortunate".

Woo-wee!

Them's a lotta zeroes, yessir.

So what if Spangly Jangles votes for the Man-Worms

on account of they bought a lot of duds.

My dad says it is the Square Dance Caller who can make

you or break you.

Come on, people, work with me.

Let's get this do-si-do on the road!

Don't tell me he's the Square Dance Caller??

I'm afraid so, Angela Anaconda.

As well as our own private attaché,

which is French for "dance instructor".

Didn't I tell you?

I'm donating the caller too.

It's all for a good cause.

It's contest time, so if you dare,

grab your partners and form a square!

Yee-Haw!!!

Allemande left and do a twist,

do-si-do around like this!

All join hands, raise up to the middle,

hands out front like cakes on the griddle.

Mix it up, Petey!

Switch your partners! Don't be shy!

Time to dance with the other gal's guy!

What?!

But this isn't what we practiced!

Now that you have got the knack,

find your partner, switch them back!

My, my, my!

It's even bigger than last year's

and the year before that!

Maybe next year there'll be someone who's a worthy

square dance competitor.

Instead of just a square.

Howel: Good one kitten. [CHUCKLE]

Nanette Ninnie-wart, now you'll do,

everything I want you to!

Swing your partner, stub your toes,

put your fingers up your nose!

Skip-to-m'-lou right down in the dumps,

Now you are dancing in cow pie clumps!

Allemande left, into the sheep shed,

a real live cowhand buffs your head!

Do-si-do with the mechanical bull,

you'll never come off with

Two-way super-sticky-tape's pull!

The winner of this h*-down is me and my dad,

and you will lose because you are bad.

That's as close as you're ever going to get to winning

a trophy, Angela Anaconda!

And that's as close as you'll ever be to getting

paid for that mechanical bull.

Hey, Spangly, don't you think the crowd should give

the winners a big ol' western "Hats-off-to-ya?"

What?!

But Dad!

Why, that's right neighborly of ye to suggest!

Y'all are good sports, yessir.

Hey, folks, whadday say we give a big ol' western cheer

for the winners?!

Yee-Haw!!!

Yee-haw.

Dad, was that your doing?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, I had some two-way super-sticky-tape left over

from those boots I fixed for you and ImI didn't want it

to go to waste so -

Yee--OUCH!! My hair!

[LAUGHS]

See, Angel-Wings?

I told you the Father- Daughter h*-Down would be fun.

Like I said, my dad is the most perfect dad in the world.

♪