02x24 - China Cat/U.S. Acres: c*ck Dandy/Beach Blanket Bonzo

[bunniefuu]

I'm

Garfield!

- Why is it I get blamed

For everything around here?

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- 媻 friends are there... 媻

- ™ª to help you get started ♪

™ª to give you a push ♪

™ª on your way ♪

- 媻 friends are there... 媻

- ™ª to turn you around ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- 媻 help you swallow
your pride ♪

™ª when something inside ♪

™ª says to break on through ♪

™ª to the other side ♪

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you've got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulder ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park ♪

™ª or a shot in the dark ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- ™ª but friends will care ♪

™ª for you ♪

- We've got to stop that

Chicken from writing on my logo

Every week.

- Since it's the chinese

New year, I thought it'd be fun

To eat authentic chinese food,

Garfield. Garfield?

- I think they're getting

A little carried away

With the confetti.

- This kind of cooking

Goes back more than 8,000 years.

- Uh-oh. Couldn't we go where

The food is, like, fresh?

- According to the chinese

Calendar, I was born

In the year 7738.

- Really? I swear you don't

Look a day over 7,722.

- Would that be a table

For one, sir?

- No, table for two.

Food for 10, but table for two.

- Oh, you have a--

Aah!

- Gee, usually they don't

React that way until after

They see me eat.

- I guess I'll find us a table.

- Okay, but don't expect a tip.

- You can have one from column

"A" and one from column "b."

- I'll have all from column

"A" and all from column "b"

And...

"C" looks like a tasty column.

- Are you ready to order?

- I'll have the chow mein and

My cat will have

Everything else.

- Please, sir, you must not

Allow your cat to eat so much.

- What's going on around here?

- It is because of the

Orange and black
striped cat, sir.

Please, you come with me.

I will explain.

- You should have told me that

Dinner came with a guided tour.

- This screen tells a legend

Of the dragon and the cat.

- Handsome looking fella,

I must say.

- Many, many years ago, there

Was small village in china.

The farmers worked very hard

To grow their crops,

But everyone in the village

Was starving.

- I'm starving.

I haven't eaten since 1783

And it's already half past 1785.

- Because they had to give all

Their food to the fierce dragon

Who lived on top of mountain.

- [ Laughs ]

Mmm. I see we have good crop

Of snow peas this year.

Bring me more food.

More food!

- There was a man in the

Village who had an orange cat

With black stripes.

Soon it was his turn

To feed the dragon.

- This lasagna

Is for the dragon.

- No, not the lasagna.

Can't we throw him a few

Villagers or something?

- Be sure to give it to the

Dragon or he'll eat us,

O, mystifyingly obese one.

- So the brave cat set off

For the dragon's cave,

But he was very hungry.

- I'll just take one bite.

The dragon will never know.

- When it was his turn

To feed the dragon,

Something was missing: food.

- Please accept this dish of,

Uh, invisible food as a token

Of my master's respect.

- Hmm. Awfully small

Portion there.

- Oh, it's part of a low

Cholesterol diet type thing.

- Nice try, o, inexplicably

Stuffed and overfed one.

But if you don't give me

Some food, I'll eat you

And everybody else

In the village!

- Desperate to get out of the

Situation alive, the courageous

Cat devised a clever plan.

- Oh, you're just jealous

Because I can eat more than you.

- You think I fall off turnip

Truck yesterday?

Why, you less than half my size.

- Put your appetite

Where your mouth is.

I challenge you

To an eating contest.

- [ Laughs ]

I can eat rings around you.

- [ Hiccup ] excuse me.

I can't eat another bite.

- Aha! Your wager was you

Could eat more than i.

Now it is my turn.

My food is gone!

You ate everything!

- I guess that means I win.

- You tricked me!

- The dragon chased the cat

Far off into the hills.

Without the dragon around,

The people of the village

Had all the food they could eat

And were very happy.

As for the dragon and the cat,

They were never seen again.

But the legend was if an

Orange cat with black stripes

Eats all the food, the dragon

Will return and get his revenge.

And that is why a cat like

Yours must never eat too much.

- Well, that won't stop you,

Will it, garfield?

Garfield?

[ Yelling and fighting ]

- Something has happened

In the kitchen.

Oh, no!

- Garfield!

- I couldn't wait.

That was a long fable.

- Please, you take him

From here at once

Before the dragon comes!

- There are no dragons.

- Please!

- All right.

- Wait. I didn't get

My almond cookie.

- How could they believe

A silly folktale like that,

Garfield?

- Didn't get

My fortune cookie, either.

- Imagine, dragons.

What a ridic--

- The dragon found me!

Run for my life!

- Garfield, it's just a paper

Dragon costume for celebrating

The chinese new year.

- Oh, I knew that.

- Besides, even if that legend

Did happen, it was thousands

Of years ago.

- Hey, I waited a couple

Thousand years,

I can wait a little longer.

- [ Laughs ]

[ Clears throat ]

Oh, orson?

- Yes? Gee, no one here.

- Wrong side.

I'll get him this time.

[ Clears throat ]

Oh, orson?

- Oh, howdy, fun seekers.

Okay, like, I'm not in this

Episode, so I asked them if

They'd let me play the narrator

And they said, yeah,

But just speed along

So can we have

Some flashback music

And fancy dissolve?

All right, muchas gracias.

Anyway, it started

A couple weeks ago.

I guess the best place to start

Is with orson waking up, like,

In the morning, okay?

Orson always likes to get up

At the crack of dawn, man,

Which is why he was steamed

To find out it was 10:15.

- Roy was supposed to wake

Everyone up at 6:00!

- When you got a farm, there's

A whole heap of chores to do

And you've gotta get

An early start.

Well, roy--

- When do I come in, bo?

- Like, you're not in the

Story this week, egg-o, sorry.

- Huh. Well, I talked.

You gotta pay me.

- I know. Okay, like,

Now where was i, man?

Oh, yeah, it was roy's job

To wake everyone up,

Except he'd taken to wearing

His headphones to bed, man.

Wow, it was, like,

Rock-a-bye rooster.

[ Rock music blares ]

- Why the rude awakening, pig?

- Why the no awakening,

Rooster?

It's your job to wake

Everyone up in the morning.

- Like, roy promised to do

A better job of it from now on.

Before he knew it, man,

He was into a song.

- ™ª I didn't wake them up ♪

™ª this morning ♪

™ª like I'm supposed to do ♪

™ª I got to do my job ♪

™ª or they'll find someone new ♪

™ª I used to wake them up ♪

™ª at dawn's early light ♪

™ª using bells and buzzers ♪

™ª even dynamite ♪

™ª they said, no ♪

™ª stop that noise ♪

™ª then I found a finer way ♪

™ª to wake the boys ♪

™ª I'm so cool, I'm so hip ♪

™ª since I got my bugle ♪

™ª call me mr. Lip ♪

- Hey, man, do chickens

Have lips?

- ™ª you wanna wake up in the ♪

™ª morning that's what you said ♪

™ª then rise up ♪

™ª to the bugle music ♪

™ª that I play ♪

™ª I love to get you up ♪

™ª with this horn blowing blues ♪

™ª it's a whole lot hotter ♪

™ª than c*ck-a-doodle doos ♪

™ª I can blow, I can play ♪

™ª I can wake you up ♪

™ª swinging every day ♪

™ª I play blues, I play swing ♪

™ª I love to play my bugle ♪

™ª man, that's my thing ♪

[ Laughs ]

[ Plays bugle ]

- That was a pretty good

Song, man.

I'd give it an 85.

Nice beat, easy to dance to.

Anyway,

Up in the nearby hills...

- All set for my scene, bo?

Hey, am I gonna do my famous

Worm trap bit?

- Sorry, chicky-roo.

You're not in this episode.

- Aw!

- Anyway, man, up in

The nearby hills--

Sorry, not this week.

- [ Muttering ]

- Up in the nearby hills, there

Was a cave and in this cave

There was a bear with a bruin

Sized case of insomnia.

And if there was anything

This bear didn't like,

It was, like, bugle music.

[ Growls ]

- Now, roy's music has never

Been big with folks.

The leading music critic once

Compared him to the sound

Of a moose gargling,

Rather unfavorably, I thought.

[ Growls ]

- [ Plays fanfare ]

Charge!

[ Crash ]

- Like, that was the start of--

- So, into the breech go I

Sallying forth

And sallying fifth.

And where is the set

For our shakespearian episodey?

- That's next week, wade,

"Much ado about orson."

You're not in this episode, man.

- But I'm in costume.

- Sorry, wade.

- Oh, I am miffed.

Call my agent. Call the network.

Get me anyone on the phone.

- [ Sighs ]

Like I was saying, that was

The start of roy's problem.

Then came this pleasant

Reminder.

- Remember, if you miss one

More day of wakeup call,

You're fired.

- But i--but i--but i--

But i--but i--but i--

- Roy "but I'd" for about

An hour and a half.

So anyway, it was, like,

The next a.m.

When the sun came up

Over the hilltop.

Hey, man, cue the sun!

All right, better.

So at sun-up,

It was such a groovy morn,

Roy had forgotten

All about the bear, man.

[ Plays bugle ]

- Of course, it was still

Roy's duty to blow the wakeup

Call, so the next day,

He scoped out a way to protect

His little feathered body.

[ Plays bugle ]

[ Crash ]

- That's the second biggest

Electric can opener

I've ever seen.

- Now, the next day,

The rooster got an idea.

He figured maybe violin music

Would do it.

[ Bugle plays ]

[ Crash ]

- It's been that way

For a week now.

Like, no one's found

A solution for--

- Unto the sun must come

The moon, and what is the ocean

If it is not wet and water?

- Hey, wade, you're not in

This, man.

- I know, I know but

The costume's paid for

And I am gonna use it.

If the father is not the son,

Then how can the daughter

Be the niece?

- Hi, bo.

- Oh, hi, ors. How's our

Fine feathered friend?

- Please, orson, don't make me

Blow my bugle again.

I've suffered enough

For my music.

- Poor roy. I wish that bear

Would just go to sleep

For the winter.

- Hmm. Hey, like,

The sheep's got a brainstorm.

[ Whispers ]

- It might work!

- No one can deny, says the

World is the shape of a melon.

A melon? Perfect in shape

As it spins about the universe.

I, who dwell in the universe,

Know that the secret of all

Happiness lies not within

The lowly squirrel, but in

The beauty of a grilled cheese

Sandwich.

- It worked.

- What a great idea, bo.

- It's just that wade's speech

Would put anybody to, like...

- [ Yawns ]

- [ Snoring ]

- See you next time, folks.

Maybe I'll have a bigger role.

- On the skateboard of doom.

Can I but help to dance

The dance of a thousand...

- And now, nail down

The furniture, kiddos.

It's time for
screaming with binky

We're at the--shh-- golf course

Where the great golfer leo fudge

Is about to putt.

Leo's already won the $25,000

Funniest pants award.

If he makes this putt,

He wins $100,000.

- Hey, golf pro, don't miss!

This is a crummy golf course.

Where's the little windmill?

- We'll be back, I suppose.

- Hey, I want my pants back!

- No, thanks. I just wanna

Stand out here and eat

My ice cream num-num bar.

Shark! Shark!

- Boy, what you have to go

Through just for one ice cream

Num-num bar.

- Hey, cat, could I bury you

In the sand?

- Sorry, kid, the only thing

I like to be buried in

Is linguine.

- You want me to throw it

Again, boy?

- [ Barks ]

- Garfield's not getting the

Lunch I brought for all of us.

Guess I'm in luck, though.

I don't see him anywhere.

- Blecch.

How do gophers do this?

Now I need a distraction.

That'll do it.

- [ Whimpers ]

- Huh? Oh, odie.

I have to go meet someone.

Watch the basket. Make sure

Garfield doesn't get it.

- [ Woof ]

- Jon goes ga-ga

For a pretty face.

You wouldn't catch me

Doing that.

Maybe for lasagna,

But never for a woman...

- Hey, little kitty cat.

Can I please

Bury you in the sand?

Please? Huh? Can i? Please?

- Kid's got way too much

Free time on her hands.

Speaking french

Drives women mad.

Crepe suzettes?

Chocolate mousse?

French vanilla?

Hi, I'm garfield.

- Hello, garfield. I'm lola.

- Wanna go get something

To eat?

- Oh, I can't.

Bonzo wouldn't like it.

- Bonzo? Who's bonzo?

Bonzo.

- Listen to me, cat.

You stay away from my lola

Or I'm gonna make you sorry

You was ever born!

Come on, lola!

- That guy's strong as an ox!

He's probably almost as smart.

Maybe I'll watch jon in action.

Yeah. Then I'll know

What not to do.

- Hi. You live around here?

What's your sign? Que pasa?

- I think you've had

A little too much sun.

- Well, I've got a lot of

Women who wanna go out with me.

I'm thinking of having a raffle.

- Oh, the winner gets a turkey?

- Maybe we could go dancing?

[ Hums ]

[ Screaming ]

Well, arbuckle, you've made

A jerk of yourself again.

- Wait. You're kind of cute.

My name's tiffany.

- Oh, hi, tiffany.

I'm, uh, um, my name is, uh--

- Hey, if jon can get a girl,

Anyone can get a girl.

It just takes persistence.

Lola, here I come.

- My name is, uh...gee, I just

Got a letter this morning.

- A bouquet of seaweed for you.

- Why, that's lovely.

- Not really, but it was free.

I guess that big dumb oaf

Isn't around, huh?

And you're intelligent friend

Bonzo seems to have left, also.

- Aah!

- Boy, you'd think she'd never

Seen a cat before.

I'm not giving up.

I was wrong. I'm giving up.

- Okay, fine.

I'm gonna teach you a lesson

You are never gonna forget.

- Bonzo, leave that poor

Puny cat alone!

- Yeah, bonzo, leave that

Poor puny cat alone.

- You've been asking for it,

Fella.

- Hey, cat, could I please

Bury you in the sand?

Pretty please?

- Get in line. Somebody's

Already gonna bury me.

- What? You're afraid

To let a little girl

Bury you in the sand?

- You wouldn't mind it?

- Of course not.

- I can bury him in the sand?

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

- Okay, now, cat,

Where were we?

- I think you were about to

Let me go with a severe

Reprimand.

- No, that's not it...

Oh, I'm gonna teach you

Not to come near my lola.

That's what it was.

Oh, I'm gonna--

- My name is, uh...

I think it starts with a "j."

- Well, I hope you'll share

The picnic lunch I brought.

[ Rumbling ]

[ Groans ]

- I'll be yours forever

Or until bonzo

Gets out from under the sand,

Whichever occurs first.

- Oh, garfield, do you mean

That nothing will ever

Separate us?

- Garfield, wanna join us

For lasagna?

- It's been nice knowing you.

- Hey, love comes and goes,

But lasagna is forever.

- No, actually my name is...

Gee, I know it as well

As I know my own name.

Uh, jim bob.

No, jerry. Uh, jack...