02x20 - T.V. of Tomorrow/U.S. Acres: Little Red Riding Egg/Well-Fed Feline

[bunniefuu]

- What

- What are

- What are you

- What are you doing,

- What are you doing, garfield?

- What are y- guess., Garfield?

- Are you dancing?

- Nope.

- Are you upset?

- Nope.

- Are you hungry?

- Not for another two minutes.

- Are you trying to warn me

About something?

- Guess again.

- Oh, you're driving me crazy!

- Oh, he guessed.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

[ Music ]

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to help you get started, ♪

媻 to give you a
push on your way ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to turn you around, ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- 媻 help you swallow
your pride ♪

™ª when something inside says ♪

™ª to break on through ♪

媻 to the other side. 媻

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you've got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulders ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them, ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park ♪

™ª or a shot in the dark, ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- 媻 but friends
will care for you ♪

- Wouldn't I make

A great ventriloquist?

My lips never move.

- Ah, there's nothing like

A nice quiet evening at home.

Not around here, at any rate.

- Dr. Mendelberger,

Please report to emergency.

Dr. Mendelberger.

- Please, you've got to be

All right.

I can't live without you.

If you're not well enough

To come home soon,

I don't know what I'll do.

- Well, you brought it

To the right place.

This is the best

Electronics clinic in town.

- Please, speak to me.

Just one game show?

Just a commercial?

I'm desperate.

I'd... I'd even watch binky.

[ Gasp ]

- I'm not sure I can fix it.

This model is out of date.

- Out of date?

But I just bought it last year.

- Last year? Nurse!

Prepare the emergency room

At once!

You don't understand!

You have to keep buying

New electronics every year!

That's why we bring out

New advances!

- But that tv was working fine.

- That's not the point.

You have a record player, right?

And records?

- Yes, lots of records!

- And now they're not good

For anything. You have to buy

A cd player and compact discs.

Then once you buy

All the cds you need,

We'll make you throw them out

And buy something better.

That's how it works.

- Lucky they don't do that

With pets.

[ Odie barking ]

- This is our showroom

Of the latest models.

Pick out a new one

And we'll give you

A small trade-in

On your antique, worthless,

Obsolete, year-old set.

- But I don't want

To buy a new tv.

- Ah, your cat has picked out

One of our newest breakthroughs,

The taste-o-vision.

Like to try it, kitty?

It combines eating

And tv watching.

- Hmm, two of my three

Favorite activities.

Work sleeping in there

And I'm set for life.

- With taste-o-vision,

Whatever they're enjoying on tv,

You will experience.

- Good. Let's watch

Something italian.

- Dear, do pass the roast beef,

Would you please?

- Have some more

Mashed potatoes and gravy

And try the carrots.

Oh, and the corn on the cob

Is marvelous.

I also have some ham

If you'd like.

- I never want to leave here.

- Harry! Sorry

To interrupt your dinner,

But we've got an emergency!

- What is it?

- There's a mudslide

And the river's being
flooded with slime!

[ Coughing ]

- I guess I should feel lucky

It wasn't snow white

With a poison apple.

- Now this is the latest

Breakthrough in realism,

Three-dimensional television.

It makes you feel like

Whatever you're watching

Is right in the room with you.

- Sounds great. Let's hope

For a lasagna commercial.

- Hey, kids!

It's binky the clown,

Here to entertain you!

- Don't be afraid.

It's just an illusion.

It can't harm you.

- Oh.

- Here, have some custard!

- Don't worry.

I'll change the channel.

- Hi, everybody! Surf's up!

- Next program.

- And the wren lays its egg

In nests like these.

- See? A nature show for kids.

You're safe now.

- Phew!

- That is the story

Of the wren.

Next week we'll learn

About the octopus.

- Isn't this a boring program,

Odie? Odie! Odie?

Where is that mutt?

- This is just a tiny

Tape player. The kind

Joggers listen to.

- That's right,

And for our latest, greatest

Video breakthrough,

We have applied

The same principle to tv.

- Me? Jog?

How long have you been

Into science fiction, fella?

- This is the personal

Stereovision compact

Ultradigital walk-around,

Watch-around, jogger tv.

- Hey, not bad.

- Go for a little run

Around the block, p*ssy cat.

See how you like it.

- Gee, my favorite show's on.

- But how can someone

Wearing that thing

See where he's going?

- Hmm, an interesting point.

Maybe we need some
more research.

- This could almost

Make it fun to jog,

Especially if they could find

A way to let you do it

Sitting down.

[ Brakes screeching ]

Now what am I watching?

[ Horns honking ]

Sounds like one of those

Silly car chase movies.

[ Sirens ]

It's a disaster movie.

Boy, what lousy sound effects.

- Well, which new tv

Do you want to buy?

- I don't want to buy

Any new tv.

I want you to fix this one.

- I'm telling you,

It's obsolete.

This set of yours

Will never work again.

- Oh, no!

Combining exercise with tv

Kind of defeats the purpose

Of tv.

[ Crashing ]

[ Doctor groans ]

- That's a definite ouch.

- Garfield, you fixed it!

It just needed a little hit.

Now we can go home

And we don't have to buy

A new tv set.

- Great. Any chance of spending

The money we've saved

On a new nose?

- Imagine watching a tv set

That's more than six months old.

I don't get it.

How could someone not want

A fully three-dimensional tv?

How?

- And now our movie.

King kong.

- Help! Anyone!

Help! Help! Help!

- Whoopsie!

Help! Help! I am drowning!

Help! Help!

Going down for the third time!

Oh, help!

I'm a goner.

Save me.

Save me...

- Try standing up.

- Oh.

That would work too.

- Wow, look what I found, wade!

- Hey, someone discarded

This old movie camera.

- Wade, we can make

Our own movies with this!

- Oh, not i!

I am afraid of

Camera-type things and stuff.

- Wade, you're being

More ridiculous than usual!

- Well, I'm out to set

A new standard.

- I'm hungry, sheldon.

[ Laugh ]

- Oh, boy! Two chickens!

One that hasn't even been

Opened even, you know,

Don't you?

- Hi, orson!

- What's with wade?

- He's camera shy.

He doesn't want to be

In the movie I'm gonna make.

- I'll be

Little red riding hood.

- And I'll be the woodsman.

- Okay. Now do you think

We can get roy to play the wolf?

- I want billing

Over the title, script approval,

My own dressing room,

$3 Million up front

And 10% of the gross.

- I will give you

A cheese sandwich.

- Deal. Hey, let's do lunch.

Your people will
talk to my people.

Love you, orson.

Don't ever change.

Hollywood talk.

- Okay, like quiet on the set,

Everybody!

- Film is rolling! Action!

- Little red riding egg,

Take one.

- Here comes

Little red riding egg

Skipping through the woods

On my way to grandma's house.

Boy, I hope I do not run into

A mean old wolf.

- Where are you going,

Little red riding egg?

- Cut!

Roy, where is your wolf suit?

- Well, I thought I'd give

The film a little pizzazz.

Science fiction's really big

At the box office.

- Wolf suit.

- Wolf suit. No imagination.

- Little red riding egg,

Take two.

- Boy, I hope I do not run into

A mean old wolf.

- Where are you riding,

Little egg going red?

- Little red

Something or other, take 91

Or maybe even in
the hundreds, man.

- Where are you going,

Sheldon...

I mean, little red riding...

- Cut! Let's give up on this

And go do the scene

In grandma's house.

- I'll be in my dressing coop.

- Orson,

We don't have a grandma.

- That's right.

I gotta find someone!

- Wade?

- Yikes!

- Wade, it's me!

What are you doing
in this barrel?

- I'm hiding in here

So nothing can harm my person!

Ow! Definite ow!

- Boy, I didn't realize

How pathetic and ugly

This wolf costume looks.

Wait a minute!

I don't have a mirror!

- No! I cannot be in that film!

I'm afraid! I'm terrified!

- Wade, we need someone

To play grandma,
it's a lead role.

- Lead? Well,

Why didn't you say so.

This is it! My big break!

This could lead to movies,

Mini series, maybe even my own

Saturday morning cartoon show.

[ Knock on door ]

- Hey, roy!

Need you on the set, man.

[ Muffled screaming ]

- Okay. Now at this point,

The wolf comes in.

- The wolf?

- It's only roy in a costume.

He locks grandma in the closet.

Got that?

All right, action!

- Little red riding egg,

Take, oh, I have absolutely

No idea, man.

- This is my big chance!

I'm not gonna get locked

In any closet!

Aha, ugly wolf person!

No more will you terrorize poor

Defenseless grandma people!

- Why me? Why me?

- Why, you hideous wolf, you!

What a big nose you have!

And what big feet you have!

And what a big mouth

You possess!

Hey, roy, make it look real!

This is my big chance!

- Wade, look out!

It's a fix, wade!

- Roy, you are ruining

My big scene with roy here!

Would you like top billing?

[ Growl ]

- You know.

It's a real animal creature!

- Is it time for my entrance?

- Help! What big teeth he has!

[ Laughs ]

- I did it!

I got the unripe chicken,

You know,

And he's mine, all mine!

- That's the fox

And he's got sheldon!

- Hey, no perspiration, pig.

Okay, ready for your next scene?

- But I just want
the egg, you know.

- Hey, we're talking

Oscar material here, babe.

- Oh, what am I doing

In this thing?

- Like, every movie's

Got to have a car chase in it.

Remember mcqueen? Here.

Here's a stunt egg, man.

Now quiet on the set!

- Gee, I'm gonna be

A movie star, you know.

- Action!

Rolling!

- What's my motivation?

Hey, hey, wait! You can't

Do this to me, you know!

I want my... Call my agent!

- That car stunt is gonna make

A great ending for my movie.

Let's go get the film developed.

- I can hardly wait to see it.

- Gee, I had the feeling

Like we forgot something.

Eh, I guess not.

- Orson, help!

What's my motivation?

Wait! Come back! Help me!

Get me out of this!

[ Muffled screaming ]

[ Yawning ]

- You go out and play, pookie.

Huh?

Wait a minute.

I've been nailed into bed.

I suppose this was for putting

That lizard in your shoe?

- Now we're even.

[ Sigh ]

- Jon made my favorite

Seven-layer lasagna cake.

I hope he put in

Plenty of mozzarella.

Wait a minute.

Jon worked very hard

On this cake.

It would be wrong of me

To gobble it all down.

I'll just cut

A modest-sized slice.

There.

Come on.

You knew I was gonna do that.

You knew I was gonna

Do that too.

- Garfield? Guess what I've got

Behind my back.

- A sickening and disgusting

Evil monster?

- It's nermal!

- I was close.

- You two play nicely now.

- Hi, garfield!

Yes, I'm still

The world's cutest kitty cat!

- Whoopee.

- Face it, garfield.

I'm just the cutest thing.

In fact, if you look

In the dictionary under cute,

You'll find my picture.

- That's ridiculous.

Hey, he's right.

- Hey, let's play

Some cute games, garfield,

Or you tell me a cute story.

If you try to nap,

I'll just wake you up.

Garfield?

Are you going to mail me

To abu dhabi again?

- The kid learns fast.

- I'll put my cake

In the refrig...

Garfield!

- Oh, thank you.

Every dollar helps us protect

Poor defenseless animals.

My last stop is next door,

Mr. Arbuckle.

I'm sure he'll be...

- Garfield, I'm never

Going to feed you again!

- Oh, my goodness!

- Garfield, I don't wanna go

To abu dhabi! That's not cute!

- Garfield, come in here!

- Uh-oh, the voice of destiny.

[ Gasps ]

- Oh, you poor little kitten!

- Garfield,

You've done it this time.

I'm not going to feed you again

Until arbor day!

Gotcha!

Now when I get through with...

- Stop! Unhand that cat!

Don't worry, kitty cat.

I am here to help you.

Drop that pussycat!

- Gee, lady.

Thanks for the help.

- Refusing to feed your cat!

You are a disgrace,

Mr. Arbuckle!

And wrapping that kitten

To mail to abu dhabi,

What cruelty!

- But, I didn't...

- There are laws against

Not feeding your pets, you know.

- But, if i...

- I am harriet underberger

Of the park place

Pet protection!

I am going to check later

And, oh!

- Food, nourishment,

Sustenance.

- Mr. Arbuckle!

If this cat isn't well nourished

Before I return, I will call

The police to arrest you!

- But he's not starving!

He eats more

Than most armies.

I have to feed you

Or go to jail,

So I'm going to feed you

Like you've never

Been fed before.

- This is it,

My dream come true.

Food for days.

Ready, stomach?

It's ready.

- Ah, there isn't another bit

Of food left

In this entire house.

Have you had enough?

- I suppose so.

[ Sighs ]

- I'm exhausted

And I'm famished too.

I didn't get to eat.

Oh, well,

At least I won't go to jail.

- Mr. Arbuckle!

- Huh?

- I knew you were

The kind of man who would starve

A poor, defenseless pet!

- But I fed him!

- Yes, but you didn't feed him.

- Oh, no!

I forgot to feed nermal!

There's got to be some food

Here somewhere.

Please, there must be some food

Left to give nermal,

Isn't there?

[ Burp ]

Please, no! I'll feed him!

- Take him away, officer.

- I don't wanna go to jail!

I fed my cat!

I fed him half a supermarket!

- This is awful.

We're all out of food.

Come on, nermal.

We gotta spring the kid

From the slammer.

- Bring in this arbuckle case,

The one accused

Of not feeding his cat!

Are you arbuckle's cat?

- Yeah,

- Case dismissed.

- Oh, well,

At least I get a meal.

- Okay, arbuckle, you can go.

- Garfield! You rescued me!

- Well, someone has to do

The shopping.

The kitchen's empty.

Yuck! This is cruel

And unusual punishment.

- Yuck! This jail food

Is awful.

What could be worse?

[ Jail door slams ]

Garfield! Let me out!

Garfield, that was not nice!

- This is so much neater

Than mailing him to abu dhabi

And it saves on stamps.

- Garfield, being in jail

Isn't cute!

Garfield! Garfield!