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02x14 - Basket Brawl/U.S. Acres: Origin of Power Pig!/Cactus Jake Rides Again

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Garfield and Friends". Aired: September 17, 1988 – December 10, 1994.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Show features animated story lines adapted from the comic strip Garfield and Davis's other comic strip U.S. Acres.

02x14 - Basket Brawl/U.S. Acres: Origin of Power Pig!/Cactus Jake Rides Again

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Flapping

[ Flapping ]

- There's a familiar sound.

You keep doing this, garfield.

We have got to put a stop

To it.

There, this venetian blind

Should do the trick.

[ Clatter ]

- I'm in pain, real pain.

Pain, pain, pain.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

"Garfield and friends."

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to help you get started ♪

™ª to give you a push ♪

™ª on your way ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to turn you around ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- ™ª help you swallow ♪

™ª your pride ♪

™ª when something inside's ♪

™ª got to break on through ♪

™ª to the other side ♪

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulders ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them ♪

媻 they're even there

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park ♪

™ª for a shot in the dark ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- ™ª but friends will care ♪

™ª for you ♪

- I can't believe we get

Away with this every week.

[ Music ]

- Good afternoon.

We're coming to you live from

Beautiful arbuckle stadium

For today's do-or-die meeting.

Hi, everybody.

This is chick mouse.

- And biff rat.

- Bringing you all

The play-by-play of today's

Exciting competition.

A record crowd has turned out

To see if the combined might

Of jon arbuckle and his team

Can stop the awesome

Garfield express.

- Arbuckle is briefing his

Men now, so let's look in

On the locker room, shall we?

- I'm counting on you all.

The last eight times

We've tried to go on a picnic,

Garfield has eaten everything

Before we got out of

The driveway.

Men, our goal is to get food

Into this basket,

And remember, the opposition

Will stop at nothing.

Are there any questions?

- Yeah, we got any mayo?

- Biff, I don't know

About you, but my money's

On the cat, he's unstoppable.

- Well, that's true, chick,

But he's also lazy,

And if I'm not mistaken--

- Excuse me.

Here comes the arbuckle team

Onto the floor.

Arbuckle, odie, and nermal--

They've all trained for

Months for this moment,

And they're counting heavily

On the home-court advantage.

The referee has the grapefruit.

We're ready now for the start

Of the game.

Here's the toss of the ball.

Odie goes for it, but he's

Out-jumped by garfield.

Garfield tips the ball to...

Garfield, pull-down pass

To garfield.

He dribbles down the middle,

He pulls up a 15-footer,

It'll count if it goes!

It goes!

[ Cheering ]

- Garfield off to a strong

Start, and the crowd loves it.

- Now arbuckle into nermal,

Nermal to odie,

Odie back to nermal.

Nermal fakes him out, charges

Down the floor for a layup.

Nermal has it,

He blows the shot!

Garfield rebound.

Throws a 60-foot pass

Back to garfield.

He's got it!

He's in three-point territory.

He puts it up, it's on the way!

It's good for three.

[ Cheering ]

- The arbuckle team is being

Out-hustled and out-muscled,

While the garfield express

Is firing on all cylinders.

Now nermal in

With a seven-layer cake.

Nermal off to odie,

Odie dribbling down court.

Can someone please clean up

That dribble?

Odie looking for an opening,

Stolen by garfield.

Garfield down court.

What a play by garfield.

He takes it with five seconds

On the clock, four, three,

Two, he swings it up.

He shoots right into the sky

And he makes it,

And that ends the first half.

Arbuckle leads his team off

The floor and, boy,

They don't look too happy,

Do they, biff?

- They sure don't, chick.

Say, I'm down here now

In the stands with garfield's

Number-one fan.

Excuse me, what do you think

Of the game so far?

- [ Imitates jack nicholson ]

Well, the cat's really good,

But we're having a little

Trouble getting refreshments

Here in the bleachers.

- Well, why is that?

Oh, I see.

Well, the cheerleaders are

Coming onto the court now,

And I think they're--yes.

- Lasagna! Yay!

- They're leading the crowd in

The wave, chick, back to you!

- Thank you very much, bif.

Arbuckle, fans, is laying out

Strategy for his team

In the kitchen.

- Now, odie, I want you

To guard the meatloaf,

And nermal, if he gets near

The pies, it's all over.

[ Barks ]

™ª our back's against the wall ♪

™ª we've got to buckle down ♪

™ª gotta get around that cat ♪

™ª or he'll eat us of town ♪

™ª a winner never quits ♪

™ª a quitter never wins ♪

™ª just when garfield ♪

™ª thinks it over ♪

™ª that's when our team begins ♪

™ª to fight, fight, fight ♪

™ª pass the turkey ♪

™ª don't get let him get ♪

™ª one bite, pass the ham ♪

™ª we're charging, charging ♪

™ª charging, pass the bread ♪

™ª and pass the margarine ♪

™ª we'll bring that ♪

™ª flabby tabby to his knees ♪

™ª sling the soybean ♪

™ª pass the pasta ♪

™ª pinch the peas ♪

™ª come on and fight, fight ♪

™ª fight, fling the fritters ♪

™ª don't let him get one bite ♪

™ª flip the chips ♪

™ª we're pressing, pressing ♪

™ª pressing, toss the salad ♪

™ª and the dressing ♪

™ª we'll knock that ♪

™ª tubby tabby to his knees ♪

™ª hurl the hotdogs ♪

™ª jam the jerky ♪

™ª chuck the cheese ♪

[ Cheering ]

- Arbuckle knows if this

Squad has any chance of

Saving this lunch, they have

To work on defense.

Wait, here they come.

Ready for the second half.

Nermal looking

For an open man.

He passes off to odie,

And garfield steals the ball.

Garfield goes for

The fast-break down court.

Odie in hot pursuit.

Odie dribbling again.

Garfield fakes left and he

Faked odie right into

The popcorn machine.

Let's see that one again

On instant replay.

Garfield just exploded.

He fakes left, and watch--

Odie didn't have a chance.

This is odie's first start

In the major leagues,

And with all that popcorn,

It looks like he could use

A little bit more seasoning.

Arbuckle looks upset.

There's time for

One more play, and his men

Haven't scored yet.

Odie has the ham.

He's dribbling down court.

Now he's dribbling up court.

Now he's just standing there,

Dribbling.

Somebody get a mop, please.

A no-look pass to nermal.

Nermal back to odie.

Odie to nermal.

Where's garfield?

- Uh-oh, I'm in.

- Nermal makes a fast break

To the basket, he does a 360

Turn underneath, he lays it up.

It's good-bye nermal.

It's kept alive once, twice,

The rebound to garfield.

Garfield charging

Down the court, odie guarding

Garfield closely.

They're really

Playing catch-up.

- Ketchup? On ham?

- I said catch-up.

Garfield passes to garfield.

Nermal the guard.

The shot is up,

The ham is up.

The ham rockets down court

All the way.

- Get it!

- Garfield, odie, and nermal,

All moving back to get it,

And it's garfield under it!

Six seconds left

On the clock, five, four,

Three, the shot is up.

It rims the basket. It's in!

No. It isn't.

Yes, it is. No!

It's in. It's a score!

And that's the old ballgame!

It's over!

Oh, a magnificent

Performance, both on offense

And defense by garfield.

Truly remarkable.

This place is bedlam,

We're gonna see if
we can get a few

Words with the champ.

Garfield, congratulations

On a great game.

You devoured an entire picnic.

You've got to be proud.

- I am, chick, real proud.

And I'd also like to say this

Is probably the dumbest

Episode we've done

All season.

[ Odie barks ]

- What do you mean

I cheated?

You're just a sore loser.

[ Barking ]

- Guys, guys, relax.

- How about a rematch

On thanksgiving?

You bring the turkey.

Aah! Aaah!

- Tune in next week for the


Good night, everybody.

[ Barking ]

- What do you mean

I fouled you with a meatloaf?

- According to this book, wade,

You can change your life

If you do what it tells you.

- Oh, tell me, tell me,

Tell me.

- Cluck like a chicken

And stamp your foot

Three times.

[ Muttering ]

Bock-bock--

Bock-ohhh!!

- I said three times, wade.

- Oh.

- This was our biggest

Harvest ever.

Boy, would my brothers love

To get their hands

On all this.

- Why do I have to have

First guard duty?

This is as much fun as

Watching snails tap dance.

- Roy, we all have

To take turns.

Now, I want to get back

To my book.

- Ha! What a waste of time.

Guarding a bunch

Of vegetables.

- Orson's brothers

Are miles away.

- I worry too much.

There's no danger

Anywhere around.

I've got to get

Hold of myself.

- This is bo-o-oring.

But I know how

To liven things up.

[ Humming ]

- Oh, hi, roy.

- Wade, listen carefully.

I am about to lie to you.

I will say something

That is untrue.

This is all part of a trick.

Do you understand?

- I understand.

- What I will say next

Is the lie.

Ahem. Oh, look, wade, giant

Knockwursts are attacking us.

- Giant knock--

Giant knockwursts?!

Oh, help! Help!

I knew this would happen!

Oh, help!

Giant knockwursts!

Get some help!

Get some mustard!

- Giant knockwursts?

- Hmm.

- How are we going to get

Those vegetables, brothers?

- You got an idea, wort?

- I know we need giant

Knockwurst costumes.

- Giant knockwurst?

- Yeah. Go find one

And meet back here.

We're going to get every last

Radish in that barn.

- You're so brave, orson,

And I'm so--so not brave.

- Oh, I'm not that brave, wade.

- Oh, yes, you are.

You're power pig.

- I became power pig because

I was afraid just
like you, wade.

- Could we have a flashback,

Please?

I love flashbacks.

- Okay. Flashback.

It was when I was younger.

But, guys,

I don't want to play croquet.

[ Laughing ]

- I had to escape from

My brothers, so I escaped

Into books.

I read all kinds of books--

Hardcover books,

Paperback books.

I even read comic books.

They were mostly of

Super-guys, and I really

Wanted to be one.

I trained and I trained,

And I made myself a costume,

And then one day I became...

- ™ª power pig ♪

™ª power pig ♪

™ª what a big pig ♪

™ª that's power pig ♪

™ª this pig is afraid ♪

™ª of nothing ♪

™ª mobster, monster or storm ♪

™ª he dons his cape ♪

™ª for justice ♪

- Plus, I like the uniform.

- ™ª he's the dashing ♪

™ª and daring hero ♪

™ª that's what he'd like to be ♪

™ª but it's just that his cape ♪

™ª and goggles go exceedingly ♪

™ª well with pink ♪

™ª he's our favorite champion ♪

™ª the barnyard's ♪

™ª claim to fame ♪

™ª a defender of ♪

媻 defenseless, but he's

™ª a little off on his aim ♪

™ª so if you're ♪

™ª in a tight spot ♪

™ª and need help ♪

™ª to save the day ♪

™ª make sure the spot ♪

™ª is not too tight ♪

™ª 'cause his tummy might ♪

™ª in the way ♪

™ª tower pig ♪

™ª I mean, shower pig ♪

™ª uh, I mean, flower pig ♪

™ª no, it's power pig ♪

- Bravo, what a flashback!

Author, author!

- Anyone can be a
superhero, wade.

You just have to believe.

- Are we ready for the plan?

- Almost. Where's mort?

- Hey, that don't look like

A giant knockwurst.

- I couldn't find a giant

Knockwurst costume.

I'm a vienna sausage.

- Oh, no. It's--

It's the attack

Of the giant knockwurst.

- And one vienna sausage.

- Move, or we'll

Put you in a bun.

- Yes, sir, I'm moving.

- Nice crop this year.

- Orson, it's your brothers.

- It's my brothers.

- That's what I said.

- This looks like a job

For power pig.

- Ha! Power pig

Is in the bag.

I got the runt.

Let's get the rest

Of the veggies.

- Orson is a prisoner!

I must do something decisive.

Yeah, I'm going

To get out of here.

- Anyone can be a
superhero, wade.

You just have to believe.

- He's right.

This looks like a job

For wonder wade!

™ª ta-da-da-da ♪

- Let us not forget

The watermelons.

- Unhand all fruit,

Evildoer.

Wonder wade is here

To stop you.

- And what are you gonna do?

- This!

- Ha! Come on, brothers.

- Where are those

Watermelons?

- Over there.

Don't worry, they're coming.

- Whoa!

- What happened?

- You did it, wade!

You got rid of them.

- I did?

Ha ha! Yeah, I guess I did.

I guess you were right, orson.

Anyone can be a super-guy.

- Beware, vegetable thieves.

The red rooster

Is on the job.

Ha ha! Uh, where'd they go?

- Too late, roy.

- Well, maybe not anyone.

[ Music ]

- Yee-haw!

- It's great that they

Decided to hold the regional

Championship rodeo

Right here in our town.

- All this beef and not

A cheeseburger in sight.

- Billy bob bo benson has

Stayed on till the whistle

To win the bull-riding event.

And now here comes

The rodeo clown.

- He-e-e-ey, boy!

[ Bellows ]

[ Cheering ]

- Thank you, thank you kindly.

And y'all ought to be here

Tomorrow when I win

The trophy as all-around

Cowboy. By riding

The one horse on this year's

Rodeo circuit that has never

Been ridden to the whistle--

Certain death.

- Certain death?

Hey, wasn't that the horse

At the polecat flats

Dude ranch?

- Huh?

- I've got to see

If it's the same horse.

[ Neighing ]

- Save your energy for

Tomorrow so as you can unload

That uppity billy bob bo

Benson bingo and win

That cash bonus.

- Cactus jake?

You probably don't

Remember me, but--

- Of course I do, garfunkel.

Where's your pal shorty?

- Uh, that's arbuckle.

As for shorty, he's around.

- Odie, I'd like you to meet

An old friend.

[ Horse neighing ]

- Here, eat, you mangy bronc.

- Following the rodeo

Circuit must be

An exciting life.

- Yeah. Of course,

Living in motels is hard

On an old fellow like me.

Did you ask me to stay

At your house?

- Stay at my house?

- Thank you.

Don't mind if I do.

- Uh, yeah.

There's a hay truck

In my driveway.

[ Mooing ]

My--my backyard!

- As the old saying goes,

Where there's hay,

There's livestock.

- Just put this

On mr. Garfunkel's account.

- What's going on here?

- Well, I couldn't leave

Certain death all by hisself,

Could i?

No need to worry

About dinner--i'm cooking.

Cooking up a mess of my

Super-deluxe mexicali chili.

It puts hair on your chest.

- I already have hair

On my chest, but here goes.

[ Slurps ]

[ Train whistle blows ]

Unbelievable.

Food I can't eat.

It's a good thing there's

Some lasagna in the freezer.

[ Beep, ding ]

That microwave takes forever.

There's nothing like

A before-dinner snack.

Wild horses couldn't get this

Lasagna away from me.

No. On second thought,

Wild horses could.

Bon appetit.

I'll be safe inside.

- ™ª oh, give me a home ♪

[ Odie howling ]

™ª where the buffalo roam ♪

™ª where the deer ♪

™ª and the antelope play ♪

- I was safer with the horse.

- ™ª were seldom is heard ♪

™ª a discouraging word ♪

Like "work."

™ª and the skies are not ♪

™ª cloudy all day ♪

[ Gasps ]

- Cactus jake,

This chili is...hot.

- It clears out your sinuses,

Don't it?

I'm going to put some

In this thermos for tomorrow.

It gets better when it's aged.

- You are leaving tomorrow?

- Yep, after certain death

Dumps old billy bo bob benson

Bingo, I'm going to get

A great big cash bonus.

[ Snoring ]

- Enjoy cactus jake

While you can, folks.

This is his last appearance

On my show.

- Leaping prairie dogs

Get up, everybody, get up.

Well, I'll be a lazy,

Good-for-nothing, low-down,

Saddle tr*mp.

I didn't hear the rooster

Crow this morning.

- We don't have a rooster.

- Well, it's almost noon,

And certain death has to be

At the fairgrounds.

- Well, you better hurry.

- If I don't get that money,

I'll have to stay here.

- Hurry! Get to the fair.

- What's the matter

With you, certain death?

[ Snoring ]

- He's been eating lasagna.

No wonder he's sleepy.

- Who fed the horse lasagna?

- I hope he snaps out of it.

Come on, certain death,

Please wake up

And be your mean, mangy,

Ornery, outlaw self again.

- Ha ha ha ha! Well, I hope

You're ready to retire

That fat, lazy horse today,

Cactus jake, because I'm

Going to ride him.

- Oh, if certain death

Don't buck,

I don't get my bonus.

I might even have

To move in here with you.

[ Odie whines ]

- Oh, no! I got to stop

Cactus jake from becoming

A regular.

And I think I know how.

It's time for shorty

To ride again.

- Hey, shorty, how's about

Giving me a hand in there?

- Hey, there's your pal

Shorty.

- Oh, no. It's probably--

Oh, no.

[ Odie barking ]

- Hey, certain death,

Snack time.

- That all-around cowboy

Prize is as good as mine, boys.

- And now, coming out of

Chute five, on certain death,

Billy bob bo benson.

[ Grunting ]

- Better luck next year,

Billy bob.

[ Cheering ]

- Ha ha! You sure saved

My bacon, shorty.

You're mighty small

For a cowboy, son,

But it don't matter 'cause

You walk tall.

Well, I guess

Certain death and me

Will be hitting the trail.

We've got to get to gettin'.

I got a lot out of our

Association.

- And I got a great idea.

This is great.

It leaves your hands free to

Change channels while you eat.

[ Gulp ]

Boy, those cowboys

Know their stuff.

[ Theme music ]