02x09 - Pros and Cons/U.S. Acres: Rooster Revenge/Lights! Camera! Garfield!

[bunniefuu]

- I'm

- I'm bored.

I'm bored, bored, bored, bored,

Bored, and also bored.

I should control my own destiny.

I'll create an exclusive

Country club resort.

First some sand, then the usual

Resort accoutrements.

- Hmm, I have to call

An emergency meeting

Of the membership committee.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- 媻 friends are there... 媻

- ™ª to help you get started ♪

™ª to give you a push ♪

™ª on your way ♪

- 媻 friends are there... 媻

- ™ª to turn you around ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- ™ª help you swallow ♪

™ª your pride ♪

™ª when something inside ♪

™ª says to break on through ♪

™ª to the other side ♪

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you've got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulder ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park ♪

™ª or a shot in the dark ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- ™ª but friends will care ♪

™ª for you ♪

- Eat and be lazy, kids,

And someday you'll have

Your own show, too.

- This looks like a great new

Game you found, garfield.

Six. I move one, two, three,

Four, five, six spaces,

Collect $50 and take a card

And follow instructions on it.

You lose. Your cat gets

Everything in the refrigerator.

[ Burps ]

- Garfield, I'm not wild

About that game.

- If there's anything I can't

Stand, it's a sore loser.

- I'm too tired to go buy more

Groceries, and if I send you,

No food will ever get back here.

I know. Odie!

- Ta-da.

- Odie, I want you to go to

The market for me.

- A move which will henceforth

Be known as mistake number one.

- Just give this list and the

Money to the grocer and he'll

Give you what we need.

Okay, boy?

- Yeah.

- Garfield, let's give

That game another try.

- Four. One, two, three, four.

Take a card.

You lose. Your cat

Gets everything in the cupboard

Where you keep the canned goods

And those little cookies

He likes.

- You mean I win again?

- Your cat gets everything.

Your cat gets everything.
Your cat gets everything.

I should have known.

Your cat gets everything.
Your cat gets everything.

- Hey, dog.

- Huh?

- Yeah, you.

Where you going?

- [ Mumbling ]

- Going to the store?

- Mm-hmm.

- Uh-uh.

- Uh-uh?

- You see my friend, you are

Making a common error.

You are assuming that to buy

Things, you have to go

To a store.

- Huh?

- Stores pay rent and they

Pass their cost on to you,

The consumer.

I, on the other hand,

Pay no rent.

That means lower prices

For you, my friend.

In fact, you're in luck because

Today only we have a special.

This beautiful all nylon

Designer sock is yours for a

Limited time only for the price

Of--uh, for the price of--

Gee, what a coincidence.

That's about right.

- Huh?

- No, don't thank me, my

Friend, just stop in again when

You're in the neighborhood.

- Let's review, odie.

I gave you money and sent you to

The store for eggs, milk,

Bread, diet soda and carrots.

True?

- Uh-huh.

- Instead you return with no

Money and one dirty sock.

Also true?

- Uh-huh.

- Makes perfect sense to me.

- Odie, I've lost all respect

For you.

- [ Whimpers ]

- It's no big deal.

I didn't have that much

To begin with.

What happened, boy?

Even jon can't make stew

Out of this.

- [ Mumbles ]

- There's an easier way

To find out.

Luckily, my favorite show is on.

- We now return to "garfield

And friends."

This beautiful all nylon

Designer sock is yours for a

Limited time only for the price

Of--uh, for the price of--

Gee, what a coincidence.

That's about right.

- Huh?

- This calls for drastic

Action.

I may even have to

Leave the house.

I'll need lots of this

Play money and a disguise.

Where can I find clothes

That make you look like a jerk?

Of course. Where else?

Jon's closet.

Here I come, boy.

I have lots of money, boy.

I'm so stupid.

I hope I don't get taken.

Pigeon approaching.

- Psst. Hey, cat, come here.

- Yah?

- Where you going?

Going to the store?

- Uh-huh.

- Uh-uh.

- Uh-uh? I can't not.

I lost one of my owner's

Favorite socks

And I have to find a replacement

That looks like this.

- Hmm, that is one

Familiar looking sock.

- I borrowed some money

To buy a new one.

Do you think this is enough?

- Stay right there, my friend.

I think I know precisely where

You can find that sock's mate.

[ Whines ]

- Here, boy, hold this.

- Hmm?

- Hey, dog! Where are you,

Doggie? Doggie, where'd you go?

Sorry, my friend.

This sock has been recalled

To the factory

Due to a defective heel.

Here's your money back.

See you around.

- Huh?

- Oh, boy, big bucks

Here I come.

Hey, cat, where'd you go?

I got your sock.

Cat? Cat? Cat?

[ Whines ]

- No, odie, I'm still very

Disappointed in you, losing

The money like that.

I trust you with one job

And you--odie, you got

The money back.

Oh, I'm sorry I doubted you.

I'm going to the store myself

And get the groceries.

- Which you should have done

In the first place.

Come on, I'll teach you

A new game.

Three, four, five.

I win again.

You now own me all your desserts

Until the year 2143.

- Ooh.

[ Door closes ]

- Ah, jon's home.

You know, odie,

No one with any sense

Would trade the grocery money

For an old sock.

- No comment.

- Okay. We're all gonna race

To that tree.

On your marks, get set, go!

- Ha! Eat my dust, you turkeys!

- Well, I guess wade won.

[ Crash ]

- So to speak.

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to help you get started ♪

™ª but once you get started ♪

媻 who needs 'em? 媻

I love that song.

- [ Laughs ] I love it.

I can't wait.

[ Boing ]

Perfecto.

- Hey, I don't know what

He's doing either, folks.

I only know it's trouble.

- Hmm, violets are blue...

Roses are red...

Here comes creamed spinach...

Right on your head!

- [ Laughs ]

That's gonna be great.

Roy, why did you drop 50 pounds

Of creamed spinach on me?

- Because I couldn't find

Any stewed tomatoes!

[ Laughs ]

- I'm going to go shower now.

- Roy, practical jokes

Are not nice.

- They're not supposed

To be nice.

They're supposed to be funny.

Maestro.

™ª to me there's nothing better ♪

™ª than a practical joke ♪

™ª it just felt so good ♪

™ª to give that pig a soak ♪

™ª I like to pull a prank ♪

™ª on someone every day ♪

™ª now tell me spinach on a pig ♪

™ª is not a funny display ♪

I gotcha!

™ª you lose, I win ♪

I gotcha!

™ª and I'll getcha again ♪

™ª you can't play a joke on me ♪

™ª I'll smell a rat ♪

媻 because the prankster

™ª gangster never falls ♪

™ª for that ♪

™ª I am just too sneaky ♪

™ª no one ever gets me ♪

™ª I can spot a prank ♪

™ª before you count to three ♪

™ª I am a professional ♪

™ª I'm always aware ♪

™ª you never know when there's ♪

™ª a joke out working somewhere ♪

I gotcha!

™ª you lose, I win ♪

I gotcha!

™ª and I'll getcha again ♪

™ª you can't play a joke on me ♪

™ª I'll smell a rat ♪

™ª because the prankster ♪

™ª gangster never falls ♪

™ª for that ♪

- Roy, one of these days

You're gonna be sorry for

Playing your practical jokes.

- You're going to get me

With one?

Well, in case you missed

The song, boobula,

I am too smart for that.

- Bad rooster!

I hope you get him

And get him good.

- Play a big trick on him,

Orson.

- Yeah, he deserves it.

- Hey, what evil, underhanded,

Sneaky, not nice thing are you

Thinking of doing to roy, boy?

- The sneakiest thing

I can do: absolutely nothing.

- h*-hum. No doubt orson is

Planning some amateurish trick

To get even with me.

Some pathetic, feeble jest.

- Hi, roy. Care for

An ice cream cone?

- Sorry, you absolutely

Trickster, you.

- But, roy--

- To think I would fall for

The old hot pepper and chili

Ice cream trick. Why, that's--

- Mm-mmm. Great ice cream,

Orson.

- A taste delight

In every bite.

- How come you dropped yours,

Roy?

- Huh. Well, I guess

He's still planning something.

- Oh, roy, don't use

The bridge!

Some of the boards are cracked!

- Nice try, waller breath, but

I'm not going to fall for it.

- Roy, I'm not going to play

A trick on you.

- Oh, sure. That's what you'd

Like me to believe, then whahmo!

You won't get me, pig. Never!

- Are you going to play

A trick on him?

- I don't have to. He's doing

A terrific job on himself.

- He's got to have something

Real rotten planned.

Boy, I'm thirsty.

Oh, no, you rigged the pump

Didn't you, orson?

I'll go into the barn.

No! You want me to go

Into the barn, don't you?

Probably drop a cow on me

Or something.

I'll stay outside.

No. He wants me to stay outside.

He normally has the outside

Booby trapped.

I'll be okay, just so long as

I don't walk on the ground.

- I'm looking for roy rooster.

- Me?

- Uh, yes. I am your local

Rooster ranger.

I am in charge of seeing

That roosters are assigned

To farms where they are needed.

- Orson in a pathetic

Disguise.

Oh, yes, sir,

Mr. Rooster ranger, sir.

What can I do for you?

- Just wanted to make sure

You're happy on this farm.

- Hey, wade, your friend orson

Came up with an even lamer

Trick that I expected.

Watch how I play along.

- Orson? Where?

- Oh, no, mr. Ranger, sir.

I can't stand it here.

Please, please assign me

Anywhere else.

Send me to the south pole.

- I can't do that.

- But you have to!

[ Crash ]

- Mr. Rooster ranger, send me

To the south pole or I'll cover

You with one coat.

- You get away from me

With that!

- Please, mr. Ranger,

I've been a bad boy.

I deserve to go

To the south pole.

- Now, let's talk this over.

Aah!

[ Splat ]

- Welcome to your waller,

Orson. [ Laughs ]

- Give it up, orson. I was too

Smart to fall for your trick.

- What trick?

- Your dressing up as that

Stupid range...range...ra...

- I'm transferring you

To the south pole for this.

- The south pole?

[ Teeth chatter ]

- No! No! I'll freeze

My feathers!

I won't go! No! No!

- [ Laughs ]

He fell for it.

- It was a trick?

- Orson, I thought you said

You weren't gonna play a trick

On roy.

- I didn't.

- But that doesn't mean...

I wouldn't.

[ All laugh ]

- [ Yawns ]

- Let's see, monday I slept.

Tuesday I slept.

Wednesday I slept,

But yesterday I slept.

That's a full week.

I think I'll take today off.

- What makes you think you can

Just sleep all day?

Oh, no, you're not just going

To sleep all day.

You're going outside.

You're going...out

In the fresh air.

- Fresh air is bad for you.

Bugs fly around in it.

- Stop the car.

This cat

Is what I've been searching for.

Am I right?

- You are right,

Mr. Fettuccine.

- You're just what I'm looking

For to be in my new movie.

I am the great film director

Federico fettuccine.

Bring this cat

To my studio tomorrow morning.

I'm going to film my latest,

Greatest motion picture

Master work!

Am I right?

- You are right,

Mr. Fettuccine.

- See? They know.

- Well, how about that?

Looks like you're going to be

A movie star, garfield.

- Me?

Me? They want me?

Can it be they want me?

™ª no cat is any brighter ♪

™ª no cat looks any righter ♪

™ª on the screen ♪

™ª I see what they mean ♪

Me? They want me?

Well, of course, they want me.

™ª no cat is any wittier ♪

™ª no cat is any prettier ♪

™ª to see ♪

™ª I'll be come a big star ♪

™ª and I'll earn the reward ♪

™ª that every actor dreams of ♪

™ª the a-cat-o-me award ♪

Thank you.

Yes, autographs are free.

Anybody?

™ª thank you for wanting me ♪

Yes! I realize now

That you like me.

You really like me.

And I want to thank

The little people

Who helped me so much.

Unfortunately,

I don't know any names.

- Garfield. Garfield.

I said you have

A hard day tomorrow.

You'd better get your sleep.

Look who I'm saying this to.

[ Bell rings ]

- Could we have it quiet?

Quiet on the set!

- Where is my star?

We need fluffy on the set.

- Here's fluffy,

Mr. Fettuccine.

- Now, this will be my

Greatest scene in my greatest

Movie. Am I right?

- You are right,

Mr. Fettuccine.

- In that case, lights!

Camera! Action!

- Oh, gee, fluffy, I have

A feeling something not nice

Is gonna happen.

- Cut! [ Whistle ]

- Stunt cat.

Roll 'em.

- That's a print. Next.

- I consider myself the author

Of all of my movies.

I write them,

I direct and produce them,

Edit then take the film

To the theater

And I make the popcorn.

- The studio tank

Is all ready, mr. Fettuccine.

- This will be my greatest

Scene. Am I right?

- You are right,

Mr. Fettuccine.

- All right. Are you ready?

Never mind. I am ready.

This is enough. Roll 'em!

- Gee, fluffy, I hope that

Mean old shark doesn't find us.

- Cut! [ Whistle ]

- Stunt cat.

Roll 'em!

- That is a mechanical shark,

Isn't it?

- In a federico fettuccine

Film, we only have realism.

Am I right?

- You are right,

Mr. Fettuccine.

- Cut! That is a print! Next!

- This is show business? Aah!

The song is wrong.

Everything about this business

Isn't appealing.

Let's see what

The next scene is.

[ Gasp ]

Well, this calls

For a little rewrite.

- Ha ha! Are we ready

For the next shot?

Where is the stunt cat?

- Pouring honey on your chair.

- Ready? Roll 'em!

- Gee, fluffy, I hope that

Nasty old bear doesn't get us.

- Cut! [ Whistle ]

- Stunt cat!

Roll 'em! Release the bear!

[ Growling ]

[ Sniffs ]

- The cat! Attack the cat!

Help! Help!

I hate actors who ad lib.

You will protect me.

Am I right?

- You are wrong,

Mr. Fettuccine.

- We might as well take lunch.

I believe your cat is fired.

- Well, garfield, there goes

Your big career in the movies

And my money.

[ Whistle ]

- Stunt cat!

- I love show business.