02x08 - The Lasagna Zone/U.S. Acres: Sleepytime Pig/Yojumbo

[bunniefuu]

- Oh,

- Oh, good

- Oh, good morning,

- Oh, good morning, garfield.

- Oh, go- hi, there.garfield.

- Oh, thanks, garfield.

- You're welcome.

- Garfield, you're everywhere

At once. How do you do that?

- Magic.

- Amazing. Simply amazing.

- Thanks, guys.

- Don't mention it.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- 媻 friends are there... 媻

- ™ª to help you get started ♪

™ª to give you a push ♪

™ª on your way ♪

- 媻 friends are there... 媻

- ™ª to turn you around ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- ™ª help you swallow ♪

™ª your pride ♪

™ª when something inside ♪

™ª says to break on through ♪

™ª to the other side ♪

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you've got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulder ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park ♪

™ª or a shot in the dark ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- ™ª but friends will care ♪

™ª for you ♪

- Hey, you chewing the gum.

I hope you brought enough

For everybody.

- I'm bored. Really bored.

I'm so bored. Bored am i.

I am so bored,

I would do absolutely anything

To get my mind off how totally,

Utterly bored I am.

[ Whimpers ]

- I'm not that bored.

[ Horn honks ]

- Well, what have we here?

- Huh?

- Oh, thank you! Thank you!

Thank you! I take back

One-third of all the rotten

Things I ever said about you.

- Garfield, enough already!

I didn't expect you to be so

Excited about our new satellite

Dish.

- Satellite dish? Crumb!

I thought it was

My new supper bowl.

- There. All hooked up.

But what's that little sign?

Caution: avoid getting tomato

Sauce and/or mozzarella cheese

On satellite dish.

Manufacturer will not be

Responsible for side effects.

Odd. I wonder why

That warning is there.

- Now we can get 100 channels,

But I don't want you watching

All night.

- But there are movies on,

And sports and game shows

Where people dress

Like large chickens.

- I'm going to bed garfield.

[ Yawns ] try it out.

Oh, and whatever you do,

Don't get any tomato sauce

Or mozzarella

On the satellite dish, okay?

- Why would I do that?

- Here's the satellite tv

Listings.

And I'm serious, garfield.

If you watch too much tv,

You're going to turn into one.

- The all yo-yo champs.

The news in pig latin.

Here's a documentary

On clipboards through the ages.

Hey, who says tv

Can't be educational?

Microwave lasagna and a tv set.

What more could one want

Out of life?

Do the honors, odie.

- Ruff.

- Uh-oh, bad picture.

Jon must have

Hooked it up wrong.

I'll go move the satellite dish.

- Huh?

- If I want to watch a western,

I'll point it toward texas.

- Consider, if you will, the

Case of one garfield the cat.

The life of this feline consists

Of sleeping, eating, annoying

Small puppies and postal

Employees, eating some more,

And watching anything

And everything on television.

- My lasagna!

- A chance meeting

Of marinara and mozzarella.

A manufacturer's warning

Unheeded.

Now garfield the cat

Finds himself on the wrong end

Of that cathode ray tube.

Don't touch that dial,

For you're in...

The lasagna zone.

- Hmm?

[ Thunder ]

- Lightning gives him power,

Igor.

Observe as my creation

Comes to life.

Oh, look onto the face

Of the monster, the face that

Will terrorize all of mankind!

[ Evil laugh ]

- Have you seen where

My lasagna went?

Hey, where am i?

And how come

I'm in black and white?

I'm in the movie.

Odie, I'm a tv show,

And I think I may be a rerun.

Get me outta here!

[ Barks ]

- Now I'm on another channel,

And I've been colorized.

Well, at least this is better

Than the monster movie.

- And the pack is racing

Downfield!


With a collective iq of 80.

- 50! 60! This is one of the

Longest touchdowns in history!

- Odie, change the channel

Quick!

Uh-oh. Looks like a western.

- I'll bet $20.

- I'll see your $20 and I'll

Raise you $30 and a gold watch.

- Well, I'll see your gold

Watch and raise you

A million dollars.

- I'll see your million dollars

And raise you a million dollars

And the klopman diamond.

- I'll see your million dollars

And the klopman diamond

And raise you my horse.

- I'll see your horse

And raise you a grand piano

And the mayor

Of davenport, iowa.

- All right, I call!

Show me your cards!

- Ha, you got the old maid.

I win.

- Why you lilly-livered,

Sidewinding, lowdown--

- Quick, odie, channel change!

- This is not much better.

Try again.

- [ Roar ]

- Odie, this is the worst

Place I could possibly be.

- Hey, jack!

- Correction. This is the

Worst place I could possibly be.

- Hi, friends. Chip tooth here

For chipped tooth used pet

Emporium, the city's largest

Dealer in new and used

Household animals.

Folks, we're swamped with pets

And we've gotta clean them out

And make room for

Next year's models.

Here's a 1978 wide bodied

Pussycat with all the standard

Equipment: whiskers, claws,

Fleas, the works!

- Oh, no. I'm being sold

Like a used car.

I hope he doesn't try

To check under the hood.

- Folks, take it home for

A free 10-day test drive.

Have your mechanic put it up

On the rack and check it out.

And if you order before

Midnight tomorrow,

We'll throw in a free muffler.

- A pun.

Oh, no! I better get out of here

Before someone gives me

A smog check.

Odie, help!

- Oh, no!

- Odie, help! My vertical hold

Is slipping! Odie!

- Garfield? Garfield?

I knew it. I knew

You'd watch tv all night.

- What? Huh?

- Like I told you, one of

These days you're gonna

Turn into a tv.

- It was just a dream.

That's all. A dream.

I didn't wind up in the tv

And odie didn't break

The remote control.

- Submitted for your approval,

Garfield the cat, lover of fine

Food, who learned the hard way

That there's some tv dinners

Even he can't digest,

Here in...

The lasagna zone

- Imagination is a wonderful

Thing, guys.

Just concentrate

And you can turn a silo

Into anything.

- Anything?

- Anything, like rapunzel's

Tower...

Or a giant ice cream cone...

Or a rocket ship...

Or even a--

No, the farmer's gonna

Be really angry about this.

- That's some imagination.

- I'll say.

[ Trumpeting ]

- Enough!

Thank you.

[ Plays off-key ]

- We gotta do something

About roy.

- Gee, orson,

You look terrible.

- Yeah, I didn't sleep a wink

All night.

- I guess our local sandman

Made a mistake.

- Don't worry, orson, we'll

Find a way to put you to sleep.

- I sure hope so.

[ Telephone rings ]

- Old wives tales unlimited.

May I help you?

Nope, the fairy godmother

Is booked solid till

The end of the year. Bye.

[ Telephone rings ]

- Old wives tales unlimited.

What? The sandman didn't

Get there to put you to sleep?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Our regular sandman is out sick,

So we hired a temporary

And he's new in the business.

A lot of people

Got skipped last night.

I have a very boring leprechaun

I can send over.

Try to give your boyfriend

A break and look what happens.

- Okay, that takes care of

The president of brazil.

Uh, orson pig is next.

Oh, boy, I'm in trouble.

The sun's up already

And I'm way behind.

- Orson, there has got to be

A way to put you to sleep.

- Hey, how about exercise?

That makes people tired.

- Yeah, all we have to do

Is wear you out.

- Okay. I'll try anything.

- ™ª pick up your leg ♪

™ª put it over your head ♪

- What a bizarre exercise.

- ™ª now dance on your hands ♪

™ª till your face turns red ♪

- Are you sure this is

Gonna get me to sleep?

- ™ª lie down on the ground ♪

™ª and bounce up with a leap ♪

™ª do it over and over ♪

™ª till you fall asleep ♪


™ª you want some sleep ♪

™ª well, you're gonna have ♪

™ª plenty ♪

- Gosh, I already feel

Like a nap.

- ™ª you're not keeping up ♪

™ª drop down and give me 20 ♪

- Hup two! Hup two! Hup two!

Hup two! Hup two! Hup two!

Hup two!

™ª you're gonna be beat, pig ♪

™ª you're gonna relax ♪

™ª right after you do ♪

™ª 10,000 jumping jacks ♪




媻 lay it down. 媻

媻 stretch it out. 媻

媻 now turn around. 媻

媻 run in place. 媻

媻 don't you stop! 媻

™ª I'll make you exercise ♪

媻 until you drop! 媻


Well, feel sleepy?

- Not at all.

[ Snoring ]

- Okay, so my aim

Was a little off.

- A glass of warm milk

Always puts me to sleep.

The cows in the dairy barn

Donated a whole pailful to you.

Just drink this milk and

You'll go right to dreamland.

- Well, how do you feel?

- Moo.

- Okay, I can see this

Situation calls for

Drastic measures.

[ Whistles ]

Counting sheep is guaranteed

To make you fall asleep,

You know.

That's my niece shirley.

That's my uncle bill.

That's my half-cousin ralph.

- Okay, everybody out

Of the barn!

I think I'll do better

On my own.

What a mess!

I can't go to sleep

Until I clean this place up.

Where's the broom?

- Nighty night, orson pig.

Oh, no. Oh, I'm ah--ah--ah--

Allergic to wool!

Ah-choo! Ah-choo! Ah-choo!

- Nothing is going to put me

To sleep.

I might as well do my chores.

- Murray, that pig

Is still awake.

You're not doing your job.

- Oh, you're right.

I'll have him in dreamland

In no time.

[ Snoring ]

- Huh? Mr. Porker is snoozing

On the job.

He needs a personal

Wake-up call.

[ Trumpet ]

- Huh? What?

- He's awake again.

[ Snoring ]

- Boy, talk about lazy.

[ Trumpet ]

- Murray, you are the worst

Sandman I have ever seen.

Turn in your sand.

You're history!

- Oh, well, there are other

Ways to put people to sleep.

I could be an anesthesiologist

Or a hypnotist

Or I could run a tv network.

- I wonder what it'd be like

To be a wild animal

Here in the zoo.

I'd change this stupid sign.

I'd look real fierce.

[ Roar ]

- And I'd scare

All the spectators.

- [ Screaming ]

- That was a pretty convincing

Performance, if I do say so

Myself.

[ Growls ]

- The sushi looks great, liz.

Raw fish on cold rice, huh?

Huh? Garfield,

What are you doing here?

- It's okay, jon.

I was getting kinda tired

Of waiting for him to show up.

That's the armor of a yojimbo.

- Yojimbo?

- Mm-hmm, that's a samurai

Warrior who works as someone's

Bodyguard.

Eat as much sushi as you like.

- Don't mind if I do.

- Garfield!

- Believe me, you didn't miss

A thing.

The rice was okay, but

They forgot to cook the fish.

- I always felt that samurai

Warriors were so heroic.

- Say, good-looking, can I be

Your urban samurai?

- Samurai's are ancient

History, which is what you'll be

If you don't knock off those

Corny lines.

- Okay, fine.

- There ain't room enough in

This town for the both of us,

Toshiro.

What does this yojimbo guy got

I haven't got, anyway?

Okay, so he can see his feet.

Big deal.

I am yojumbo, protector to all.

- Hurry up, garfield.

- Hey, I can't stand

Seeing someone so beautiful

With someone so ugly.

- Gee, I didn't think

They were that bad looking.

- Hey, cutie, how's about

Dumping this chicken

And taking up with a real man?

- Who's a chicken?

- Jon's about to get

His drumsticks broken.

- You take that back or I'll--

- Shut up! Why don't you and

The fur basketball split and

Leave me with chickie-poo here.

- Let's get out of here.

- Good idea.

- Hey, are you gonna let him

Get away with that remark?

- What a wimp! What a shrimp!

What a wimp-shrimp! [ Laughs ]

- Boy, if I weren't wearing

My good suit, that guy would've

Been sorry.

- It's okay, jon. There was

Nothing you could do.

I guess the day of the yojimbo

Really is gone.

- Look at it this way.

Chicken's 2 bucks a pound.

That means you're worth

About $310.

- I let that guy push me

Around.

Liz must think I'm a real wimp.

[ Odie whimpers ]

- And I'm going to do

Something about it.

[ Barks ]

- The samurai yojumbo

Is reporting for bodyguard duty.

Hey, a wimp like jon needs

Protection.

I'm here to protect jon

From evil!

And also tooth decay.

- Huh?

- Garfield, I'm going to take

Some lessons in the martial

Arts.

- Wait. Yojumbo will see

If it's safe.

- Whoa!

- Seems to be no danger here.

- Hyah! Ha-yah!

Ha! Hyah!

Hyah! Yah!

- Welcome to the sakamoto

School of martial arts.

I am sakamoto-san.

- I want to learn

To defend myself.

I want to tap my inner strength.

I want to feel the power

Of the universe within me.

I want to--

- Ah, you want to impress

Pretty lady who thinks

You are a wimp. Very well.

Come, I shall show you

Some basic techniques.

- Notice a pattern emerging?

- To channel your inner

Strength, it's necessary that

You assume the stuffed vulture

Position.

- Stuffed vulture?

Okay, tell me how.

- Okay. You crouch and put

Your left arm behind your back,

Then shift your weight to the

Right and see what's left.

- I wonder how jon's

Making out.

Gee, I don't know why,

But somehow jon reminds me

Of a stuffed vulture.

- You have done well, my son.

- How can you say that?

- You're still alive.

- Thanks for going out with me

Again, liz.

You know, if we run into

That bully, you know what

I'm gonna do?

- The four-minute mile?

- I'm gonna stand up to him.

I'm gonna show that baboon

What I'm made of.

- I have a feeling we're all

Gonna see what jon's made of.

- Okay, clown.

What are you gonna do?

- Just one second.

- I'm gonna call the police.

- All right.

Now, are you properly terrified?

- Okay. I'm through being

Mr. Nice guy!

You're history, pal!

- This looks like a job

For yojumbo!

Ha-hyah!

Yah! Yah!

Question. What am I doing!

Do the words run for your life

Mean anything to you?

- Grease g*n.

- Hey, look out!

[ Siren ]

- Jon!

Jon, are you all right?

You defeated that tough guy.

- Actually--

- You are my urban samurai.

- Yojumbo say he who do all

The work seldom get the credit,

But had better get

A big dinner.

Hyah! Yah! Hyah!