06x01 - Meet the Victims

[bunniefuu]

[host]: It's been 15 years
since our show first aired

and we're back where
it all began.

This abandoned summer camp
in Muskoka, Canada!

Back to the run-down cabins,
hungry bears, hungrier bugs,

the stinky outhouse
where contestants confess

[farting]
their secrets, and of course...

Chef's disgusting food.

Today, 16 new contestants
arrive and battle

to be the last one standing
and win 1 million dollars.

Someone's gonna
pick this up, right?

But winning won't be easy.
This isn't just a reboot,

it's a re-boot to the face!

Crazier challenges,
deadlier dares,

and a writing team
made up of angry monkeys

who want nothing more
than to see humanity fall!

As always, I'm your host,
Chris McLean, and this...

is Total Drama... Island!

♪ Hey what's up
I'm here to slay ♪

♪ Don't know why the rest
even bother to stay ♪

♪ I know the game
And I brought the skill ♪

♪ Crushing players' dreams
Yeah, you know the drill ♪

♪ I wanna be
I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

- Welcome back.
Now, let's meet the victims.

[laughing]
I mean, campers.

First up, Millie!

- In my parents' generation,
to achieve fame,

you'd have to write a novel,
win a Gemmy, or cure polio.

But my generation can get famous
live-streaming themselves

eating hot peppers
and vomiting while they cry.

All you need is a ring light
and a Wi-Fi connection!

So I thought, what better place
than Total Drama Island

to research the epic fail
that is my own generation.

- Welcome, Millie!
Just over here is fine.

Next up, Axel!

- I'm a survivalist
with a Primitive Survival
Rating of 9.7.

So when the Zombie Apocalypse
comes, I won't be scared.

[grunts]

But the zombies should be.

- Wow. You came
prepared for... everything?

Over there, please.
Next up, Priya!

- My parents are huge
Total Drama fans

and have been training me
my entire life

just in case
there was a reboot.

My very first bungie jump was
with my own umbilical cord.

[giggling]
There's nothing

I'm not ready for.

Scary challenges?
I've done 'em all.

[roaring]
Other players?

They'll all be toast!

- Next up, all around
fun dude, Zee!

- What's up!

I'm Ezequias, but my peeps
just call me Zee.

Breakfast soda.

I might not be the strongest,
or the fastest,

or like, try super hard, or
remember what I'm talking about.

Chris! My man, bring it in!

- No! Our next camper is Ripper.

- There's only two things
that make a man look weak:

caring about other people,
and eating mild chicken wings.

I don't care about anyone,
and I always order my wings
bum-inferno hot.

Did you know pooping
in a stranger's purse
on a bus is a crime?!

Yet, somehow, if I'd dropped
brown crayons in my own pants,

I wouldn't have
a criminal record!

Who's making these laws?!

Time for beast mode!

[grunts]

- Oh! Oh my!

- Take a long dreamy
gander, ladies.

'Cause once I win
the million bucks,

I'll be out of your league.

- I don't see a suitcase.

Was that your only shirt?

- Ah! Fart nuggets!
- We'll find you something.

Next up, Damien!
- Hey-o. Hey-o.

It's Damien time! I've never
heard of Total Drama Island,

but my friends dared me
to make an audition tape.

And if there's a million bucks
up for grabs,

count me in!
How hard can it be?

[sizzling]
[screaming]

Fire! Fire!

Hey, what's up, man?
I'm here for that million bucks.

Where it at?
- We don't just give it to you.

You have seen this show
before, right?

- Nope.
How do I get the money?

- Oh, you are gonna be fun!

Speaking of fun,
here comes Lauren.

- I wanna come on the show
and make a lot of new friends.

And then, watch them
get really hurt.

[expl*si*n]
Yeah. I'd like that.

- Welcome.
- You should stop looking at me.

- Well then, let's look
at our next camper, Bowie.

- I'm Bowie, and I'd be your
first openly g*y contestant.

FYI, I'm very competitive.

Swish! Last year, I was prom
King, and Queen.

You can never have
too many crowns.

So Total Drama,
I'm coming for that crown.

- Oh, here comes Chase!

- Woo-hoo!
What's up! I'm Chase.

You probably know me from
my live stream,

"3 Guys and a Girl
in a Beach House."

Except now it's just
"3 Guys in a Beach House"

'cause my girlfriend Emma,
out of nowhere, dumped me!

Anyway, we prank each other,
dare each other

to eat crazy stuff
and do wicked stunts like this!

Woo-hoo! Ow!

If you liked this video,
don't forget to subscribe.

Chris McLean!
Let's do this!

Woo!
- And next up... Emma!

- What the who now?
- Hey there!

I'm Emma. I'd be great
on Total Drama Island.

I used to be part of a fun
live stream with my boyfriend

and his buddies doing
all these crazy challenges.

I'm not part of that g*ng
anymore because my stupid

boyfriend Chase is now
my stupid ex-boyfriend

and I am never going to
see him again!

What is he doing here?!

- Babe?
[grunts]

- Oh. I like this one.
- Wow. Wow!

Intense.

You'd almost think we brought
you both here on purpose.

Up next, Mary Kate!

- Heya. Call me MK.

People think you win
Total Drama Island

by being strong but, nah,
people see that.

What you need
is a secret talent.

Know what mine is?
- Hey. Where's my wallet?

- Ha! I'm always underestimated.

Yeah, I'm comin'
for that prize money.

- MK, just over there please.

And now...
[sighing]

Caleb.
[soft music]

- Oh, my.
- Whoa!

[crashing]
- Wow. Sorry.

I just, um, I've never seen
anyone as handsome as you.

- No worries.
Happens all the time.

- Well, it's pretty clear
who's gonna win this thing.

$20 on that guy.
- Betting against yourself

seems wrong.
- Dis-o-gree.

If I win, I get the million.

But if I don't win,
and he does, I make $20 bucks.

- Our next two players
came as a packaged deal.

All the way from Northern
Alberta, Wayne and Raj!

- Dude, imagine winter time,
this lake turning to ice.

- Biggest hockey rink ever, bro!

[laughing]

- Sup' man, we're here, eh.

- Boys, your team is over there.

- Ah, sweet. Thanks, coach!

Guess that makes this
the other team then.

Whatcha think, Rajie?

- I'd be more impressed
with a clogged toilet.

- Oh yeah?!
Well, you two aren't...

You're both...
Then lookout, 'cause...

- Oh no, I think
this half-naked one's broken.

- Oh, be nice, Rajie.

Maybe it's his first day
with a new mouth hole.

[laughing]
[groans]

- Save it for the game.
- Don't tell me what to do!

[groans]
I'm gonna save it for the game.

- Our next camper is a bit
of a big deal.

Welcome Nichelle LaDonna!

- Yes. Hi. It's me.

- Nichelle LaDonna?
Star of the hit TV show

Hot Teen Ninja Detective Squad.

- I loved her in
Gorgeous People High.

- Be cool, be cool, be cool...

O-M-G, I am literally
the biggest fan ever!

- Okay.
- That was not cool.

- Our next arrival is Julia!

- So a little bit about me...

I think this show
is such an amazing platform

for me to share my personal
light and positive energy
with the world.

I'm an influencer, a Mandy
Bellville brand ambassador

and a proud citizen
of Mother Earth.

I can't wait to embark
on my Total Drama journey
of self-discovery!

Live in the sunshine, swim
in the sea, drink the wild air.

Crystals are real.
Prayer hands emoji!

- Welcome, Julia!
You can join the others--s

- Sorry, could you...
Thanks.

Growing.
#MyJourneyBegins.

- Um, remember the legal blah
blah contract you signed?

There was that bit about
no phones on the island.

- But, how am I supposed
to grow as a person

if I'm not telling my followers
I'm growing as a person?

- That is a question for someone
who cares about that question.

Give Chef your phone, please.
- Fine.

I'm stronger than you think.
- Wonderful.

Now all your phones.

- That's it.
I swear on the planet.

- On the planet, huh?
[beeping]

Wow.

- Bye, babies.

Don't worry, Mommy
will be back for you!

- Don't fret, your phones
will be safe...

at the bottom of this lake.

[screaming]

- That move was so cold
you could hang ball caps
on my n*pples.

- This team is
The Ferocious Trout.

This team; The Frogs of Death.

Your teams will compete
head to head in challenges.

If your team wins,
you're all safe.

- The losing team, however, will
attend a marshmallow ceremony

at the fire pit where they'll
vote on which team member

is the "loser'iest" loser
of the losers,

and that person is eliminated,
will immediately head

to the dock of shame
and be flown home

by the drone of despair.

[sighing]
I get such joy

seeing you accomplish
nothing except hurting

yourselves for my entertainment.

- Sorry, how are we...
getting hurt?

- He's never seen the show.
- Oh... That poor, poor,

sweet child.

- You'll find your cabins marked
with your team flag.

Go get settled.
We meet at the beach in one hour

for your first challenge.
Questions?

- Are the cabins co-ed?
[laughing]

Ow!
- Can I vote now?!

- I assume challenges get
postponed if it's too hot.

- Can I switch to the team
that has "death" in the name?

- Are we getting hurt?

- What if I don't have
a question?!

[horn sounding]
- Times up!

No more questions.
Beat it!

- This one's perfect.
- I'll take the top.

- Woo! Okay...

I'll grab a different bed.

- Whatever.

- Do you scream in your sleep?

- No.
- Huh. We'll see.

- Oh. I'm gonna try
the one way over there.

Uh-huh. Yep.
This one's way better.

[grunts]
- Do you need help?

- I really do.

- Hey! I called dibs
on the bed by the window!

- Oh. I didn't hear you call it.

You want the top or the bottom?

- I want whichever one you want.

Maybe we should fight for it.

- Um. I'll just take
a different bed.

- Yeah, you will.
Good call.

Boom. Nobody messes
with an alfalfa male.

- Our team has some
real hotties.

- For sure, eh.
- Okay.

If you're gonna talk about me,
I'll give you some privacy.

- So much more esthetic now.

Flowers always make
my soul feel happy.

- Oh yeah...

I'm much happier now.

- So, your ex...
What's up with that?

- I cannot believe
Chase is here.

This is my competition.

- Let it out.
What did he do to you?

Tell me everything.

- I don't wanna
get into it. Ugh.

When I win the million,
I'm donating half of it

to an animal hospital.

- Aww. That is something
I would never do.

An alliance starts
with two people.

I like Emma's vibe.
She's athletic, and
a little spicy.

That's who I'm after.

- Hey, campers.

It's challenge time!

Ferocious Trouts.
Frogs of Death.

Welcome to your first challenge.

- This challenge
is about learning to communicate

and trust your new teammates.

Two players from each team
will be tied together

at the waist and navigate
through this course

to collect two buckets
of disgusting fish chum.

Then, return to the towers
and place the buckets
on their platform.

- Nice!
This sounds super easy.

- Zee's right.
It does sound easy.

That's why the course
is loaded with booby traps.

- He said booby-traps.
[laughing]

- Shh. The coach is talkin'.

- Randomly scattered posts,
lobster traps,

messy mud puddles,
nests of m*rder hornets,

a pit filled with
hot coals and more.

These'd all be very easy
to avoid

if you weren't blindfolded,

which all bucket
carriers will be.

- Blindfolds.
Makes it hard to see.

- It does.

- Hey, man, where'd you get
the soda from?

- I have no idea.
- Wow.

Anytime someone
from my generation

says or does something dumb,

I make note of it
for my research.

My hand is already cramping.

- Each blindfolded duo
will rely on the voices

of two teammates who,
from the top of these towers,

will help get them to the
buckets and back again, safely.

Once both buckets
are on the platform,

the remaining four teammates
will carefully raise them

to the top of the tower
using these pulleys.

If they aren't careful,
one side will raise higher
than the other,

their buckets will fall, and
they will lose the challenge.

- The team that wins
this challenge will dine
on pizza and wings tonight.

The losers will be sending
someone home.

Teams, decide who's doing what.

We start in two minutes.

Campers...

Ready...

Set...
[g*nsh*t]

- Straight for 8 feet,
then go right!

- Straight! Straight!
Good. That's it!

Now left! Left!

- Whoa, dude, she said left!

- Her left is our right!

- Your other left.

[screaming]

- That looked like it hurt.

- Ow! That hurts!
- No pinchy!

- Ugh. Gross!

[chuckling]
- Bum.

- Hold up, I think
my shoe's untied.

[screaming]

- No! No, no, no!

You cannot put that on TV.

- The Frogs of Death
have the lead.

- Stop! There's a hornets
nest right above you.

- m*rder hornets.
Don't forget the m*rder part,
it upsets them!

- Just stay low and keep moving.

- If I get stung, can you
make sure it's not on my face?

- Um, no?

- Ouch! Ow
These things got sharp teeth!

- Chase. Ripper. Move forward
at a 45 degree angle.

- I don't speak nerd.
- This way. This way.

- Ah! Ow!

- Oh! Do not look
at Ripper right now.

- Ew! Turn around!

- Aren't we supposed
to get the buckets?!

- Not you!
She was talking to Ripper.

He tore the back
of his pants open

and there is a full moon
out there.

[chuckling]
- Ripper, that's wicked!

High Five!
[both]: Ow!

- Wow!

- Things are evening up.

- We gotta pick up the pace!

- Whoa!
- Oh!

- Guys, take your time!

Remember: slow and steady
wins the race.

- Exactly.

- Nah, we should
pick up the pace.

- Caleb's right. Move!

- You got it. Ow!

- Ow!
- Ouch.

- It's all good.
Wearing a cup!

- There's a mud puddle,
you should go around it.

- A mud puddle?

I think we'll be fi...

- Uh-oh! Unlike Julia's social
media posts, that was deep.

- You're like, really funny.

[coughing]

- Just keep moving. Come on!

- They could've drowned!
- You got this.

Straight forward!
- Thanks for the help, babe!

- I wasn't talking to you!
You are doing horrible!

And you don't get to call me
"babe" anymore!

- Why are you so mad at me?

- Are you kidding?!

- Oh!

Here's where we find out
what he did.

I bet he kissed another girl.

One hundred percent!

Straight couples...
Am I right?

- You cut the brakes
on my car!

- Straight couples
are messed up.

- You're still mad about that?!

- Of course I am!

You made me crash
into a pet store!

- You what now?
- Veer right!

- Argh! That's why
I'm donating 25% of the million

to an animal hospital.

- Wait, wait, wait,
I thought it was half.

- "I thought it was half."
- I'd hate to interrupt but...

- Chase and Ripper-Pants
are placing their buckets
on the platform.

- Nichelle! Wayne!

Run!
- Run? Are you crazy?!

- Gimmie your bucket
and get on my back.

Do it!
I'm a piggyback champ!

- Seriously?
- It's true, Wayner's won

the Prince Albert Piggyback
tournament three years straight.

- Pull...

- Boop-boop!

- Pull...

- They're heading right
for the hot coals!

Guys, wait!

- No! Keep running!
I'll tell you when to jump!

- What?!
- Pull!

- Jump!

[screaming]

- Pull!

[screaming]

- The Ferocious Trout
have won the challenge!

[cheering]

- Ferocious trout,
you can head to the Dining Hall
for a reward feast.

- And Frogs of Death.

Meet me at The Campfire
Pit tonight.

One of you is heading home.

- It's game over, boys.
It's game over.

[ ♪]

- Frogs, welcome to the first
Elimination Ceremony

of the season.
I'm sorry to say

one of you will be heading home.

Which one? Don't know.
- Emma.

You let emotions get in the way
and it cost your team the lead.

- Okay, I messed up...
because of Chase!

But from now on, my focus
is on helping my team win.

- Nichelle. Wayne risked
everything to try and win it,

but you slowed him down
because you were concerned
about your looks.

- Um, yeah!

And don't play like I wasn't
trying to win.

My bum caught fire!

- You've cast your ballots and
your votes have been counted.

If you get a marshmallow,
you're safe.

If you do not,
your time here is up

and you must immediately
leave the island.

Let's begin.

- Who'd you vote for?
- You, bra!

How 'bout you?
- You, dog! Hope we win.

- Seriously?! You're supposed
to vote for who you want

to eliminate.

- Oh, that's our bad.

- Sorry, coach. Sorry.

- Okay. Here we go...

Nichelle.

MK.

Bowie.

Julia.

Wayne and Raj.

You... are all safe.

Caleb. Emma.

There's only one
marshmallow remaining.

If I do not call your name,

you must immediately head
to the Dock of Shame.

Emma.

- What?!

- Yes! In your face!

I'm sorry, that was really...
Like, wow.

Your muscles are just,
they're so...

If I gave you my phone number...

- Caleb! Time to go.

- I don't get it.
Look at me.

How... Why am I going home?

I was the strongest player
on my team, I'm smart, kind.

This is garbage!

I should go back there
and give them a piece of my...

Whoa!

- Yeah, I might have mentioned
to a few people that Caleb

looked unbeatable
and voting him off now

might be our only chance.

I told you,
I came for the crown.

[screaming]

- Wasn't sure how
that drone thing

was gonna work out,
but I like it.

What's in store
for challenge number 2?

That's for me to know
and you to find out...

next time on Total Drama Island!

[ ♪]