01x04 - Psychic Moose/Doll and Chain

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Who's that girl? What's her name?
Is she cool? Is she lame?

Oh, you're talking about what's her name

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Is she lame? Is she cool?
Is she breaking every rule?

Is she anybody's fool?

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

MALE VOICE: Who?

FEMALE VOICE:
Is that that girl from gym class?

-MOOSE: No, that's me.
-FEMALE VOICE: Oh.

FEMALE VOICE: Who is she
and why does she have her own song?

PEPPER ANN: Did someone take my lunch?

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million!

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Much too cool for seventh grade

No one's cooler than Pepper Ann!

She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann!

Ooh, five bucks.

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

[MUFFLED HUMMING]

Excuse me!

Did my daughters just walk past
each other without saying "hello"?

-Hey.
-Hey.

Anyone for a family trip to Freezy Pleezy?
I'm buying!

-I'm busy.
-I'm busy.

Who's up for Contortie?

-No, thanks.
-No, thanks.

Whoa. Oof!

What a lovely Saturday morning.

Why don't you girls
go to the park together?

-TV's on.
-Bad cement at the park.

LYDIA: Margaret Rose Pearson!

Pepper Ann Pearson.

-Sit!
-[STEVE MEOWS]

Now, the two of you
are not leaving this couch

until you have a heartfelt,
loving conversation.

Well? Communicate, share. Be sisters!

Oh, I can't believe you two.

When was the last time
you spent time together?

PEPPER ANN: Sister for sale.

Cheap.

Friends come and go, but your sister
will always be your sister.

Take me and Janie.

We've had our differences,
but we are always,

-always there for each other.
-[PHONE RINGING]

Do it yourself, Janie.

So, today, we are having
family day at the mall.

Now, we may not be the conventional

"family" but for the love of Mike
that doesn't make us strangers!

Who's Mike?

While I'm at work,
you two can "hang" together

and when I'm done,
we'll all have dinner, maybe see a movie.

What do you think? Good.

Trust me, you will love
spending time together.

Bye!

-See ya at five?
-'Kay.

Hey, PA. Whatcha doing?

-Uh, having family day.
-Ditto.

I disagree, man, you lose your momentum
in a two-player game, it's just not...

Hey, isn't that Moose?

[SCOFFS] Yeah, right.
Like Moose would be at the psychic's.

Moose?

Why would Moose be hanging out
at the psychic booth?

'Cause she's psychic.

I think your hat may be on
a little too tight, Mi-loco amigo!

Fine. Believe what you have to.

Hmm.

[CLOCK TICKING]

What is this?

-I don't know where she is. I...
-My two girls enjoying each other!

Oh, I almost forgot.

Pepper Ann, look what we got in today.

-I want you to try it on.
-Mom, Peppie wouldn't wear that.

Say no more. Moose is right.

So, what's for dinner?

I'm in the mood for...

-Italian.
-Exactly.

She's not psychic.
Everyone likes Italian.

The Grazie Grub it is, then!

Later, Ezzy.

-You're friends with the mall psychic?
-We got a lot in common.

PEPPER ANN: Hmm.

-Do I want a tattoo?
-Yeah.

Tsk! Everybody knows that.

-What's my favorite flavor of Chillade?
-Boobleberry.

-Who doesn't like Boobleberry?
-[DOORBELL RINGING]

PEPPER ANN: Okay then, who's at the door?

MOOSE: Aunt Janie. She forgot her keys.

I forgot my keys. [GIGGLES]

Uh... Coincidence?

AUNT JANIE: Whoo-hoo. Ding-dong.

-Okay, what do I want a tattoo of?
-The international symbol for recycling.

[STUTTERS]

At least I'm doing my part!

Milo, you were so right
about Moose being psychic.

Some say I have a knack
for the paranormal.

-Pepper Ann!
-I even tested her!

-She knows everything about me.
-NICKY: So?

So? Moose used to get me
mixed up with Steve the Cat.

NICKY: Pepper Ann, don't worry.

If Moose were really psychic,
they'd hunt her down

-and make her tell them things, or...
-VERA: Pepper Ann Pearson,

please report to the principal's office.

We have your, uh... your Moose.

-[SHORT SCREAM]
-They've got her! Go to her, Pepper Ann.

Run.

Today's story is one
that any mother can recognize.

What would you do if you found out
your child was a "little psychic?"

On a very special That's Entertaining.

It's gonna break my heart to let her go,

but once she found "the gift"
we knew what we had to do.

-[SOBS]
-Little Moose will soon embark

on a four-year mall tour,
sharing her power with the world.

Lydia Pearson says she's thankful
that she still has her other,

non-gifted, child.

Stop that or I'll throw
your shoes in the commode.

Let her go!

She's too young to headline a mall tour!

Pearson! Please tell your sister here

that skateboarding
on school surfaces is strictly forbidden.

It's not safe for you here.

I know, but I'm only two years
away from my pension.

Peppie, what are you doing?

-Shh. You're stickin' with me for a while.
-'Kay.

How come you're hanging out
with me so much?

'Cause, you're my sister. My confidante!

I love you! Don't forget the back.

-Come on, just one question.
-No! She's a person, not a pastime.

I'll give you my Sugar Coated Sugar prize!

I'll give you my Serena the Dolphin
Princess poster.

MILO: Are people from Uranus
still considered Martians?

Uh... Yeah.

Will fat-free mayo ever taste
as good as regular?

-MOOSE: No.
-Oh!

Dude, what am I going to be
when I grow up?


-Yourself. Only older.
-She's good.

-That's for me.
-She's really good.

Hey Moose, ready?

You're going with them?
But we're hanging out.

-I still have questions! What about me?
-Peppie, you don't snowboard.

SNOW BOARDER: Moose, how's the snow today?

I won't let you exploit her!

Oh sure, it starts out
with an innocent question,

but who knows where it will end?

PRESIDENT: Oh my, that uh,
that is a pertinent question.

Well, as we build this bridge
into the 21st century,

the individual
who will shine out loud is...

-Oh, boy...
-Sarah Ferguson, former Duchess of York.

[CHOMPS]

I'll protect you Moose.

-Will my knees stop hurting?
-Uh-huh.

-[CHUCKLES] A Dusk Dimension marathon.
-Cool.

Since when do you watch
The Dusk Dimension?

Since birth.
It's the one with the eye transplant.

"Darling, I can finally see

"but why didn't you tell me
you were so ugly?"

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Make sure homework's done
before you two watch TV...

[SIGHS] ...together!

PEPPER ANN: Oh, man,
I have a geography test tomorrow.

-You'll do fine.
-Really?

Do you know that? 'Cause I haven't really

-studied at all, and I...
-Shh.

-Watch the show.
-Cool.

Now I can finally write that book,

but... who will read it? [SOBS]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

[SIGHS]

The population of Guyana?
Capital of Botswana?

The northernmost city in Nicaragua?

The deepest ravine
in the San Joaquin Valley?

Yellow Sea? Red Sea? Black Sea?
Aren't they all blue?

Moose!

-MOOSE: Yeah?
-I totally failed my geography test.

Really? Your homework was so easy.

-[GASPS] Maybe you lost your powers!
-What powers?

Shh. Don't talk too much.
We'll get them back.

-Quick, did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone?
-I don't know. What movie was he in?

-[KNOCKING]
-Hey, Ezzy.

[SIGHS] You've come!
You heard her psychic cry for help and...

Peppie, you're scaring me.

Help her.

Girlfriend, if I were really psychic
you think I'd be working at Hazelnut Mall?

Let's roll, Moosetopher.

Wait a minute. That's what you had
in common, skateboarding?

-Uh-huh.
-But...

no, all that stuff at the mall

and that day, you knew Aunt Janie
had forgotten her keys

-and the...
-Yeah. She did it again.

But you knew everything about me.
What I wanted to eat or do and...

Of course I know that stuff.
We're sisters.

You thought I was psychic?
Is that why you were hanging out with me?

Well...

at first I guess, but then
I actually started to have some fun.

I don't know!
Why did you hang out with me?

-'Cause you're my big sister.
-Oh!

-Wanna come with...
-PEPPER ANN: Nah.

-Wanna rollerblade instead?
-MOOSE: Nah.

BOTH: Later, Sis.

-Hey, PA, what's going on?
-Bonding with my sister.

-That's sweet. Vidiots?
-Yeah.

-Hey.
-Hey.

Lydia Pearson, you are a miracle worker!

LYDIA: Peppie! Did you remember
to feed the fish?

Yeah.

Did you remember to feed the cat?

-[MEOWS]
-PEPPER ANN: Yeah.

[SNIFFS]
Did you leave something in the oven?

He cried?

It's out! Oh! I can't believe he cried.

What's up, party people?
Mr. Finky's in the house!

Go Finky, go Finky, go... [GROANS]

Today we'll be rappin'
about the big "R," responsibility.

Tsk. Responsibility?
Tsk-ha! What does he think we are?

Babies?

MR. FINKY: I'm giving each of you dudes
and dudettes a doll.

To take care of for one groovy weekend.

That's one weekend
where you won't eat, sleep,

breathe or go anywhere without your doll.

Your doll will be your life
and your life will be your doll.

Only the responsible survive!

Hasta la bye-bye!

Yeah, hasta la freak show is more like it.

There is no way I'm letting that lame
homework assignment ruin my weekend.

Like taking care of a doll
will teach us anything about anything.

Man, I am so glad
I have a friend like you.

You totally always know
where I'm coming from.

So, you ready to... what the...
[STIFLED LAUGHS]

The accessories of responsibility.

Whoa. If I'm gonna make Daddy & Me class,
I'd better put the kettle to the metal.

Apple, sled, Lesser Antilles,
Cokie Roberts.

Hey, Nicky, wanna try the new
inside-out-crust pizza at Pizza Pit?

Oh, I'd love to Pepper Ann,
but I've got to get little Madison ready

for her interview at TOT U.

It's the highest rated preschool
in the Tri-Seed area.

A good twelve percent
go straight on to Harvard.

-Okay. Good luck I guess.
-[GASPS] Pepper Ann, your doll!

What?

I got her.

Oh Pepper Ann,
you have to be more responsible.

Ooh. There's that "R" word again.

Come on, I'm very responsible.
You know me,

-Ms. Responsibility.
-Sure.

You're responsible for that political riot
in language lab last week.

Révolution!

STUDENTS: Révolution!

And, like, that ten car pileup
at the drama club car wash?

-Hey there, wax your tires for ya?
-Uh, Miss!

-[CRASH]
-STUDENT 1: Oh, no. Not again!

-I can't believe this!
-STUDENT 2: Hey wait! Are you okay?

Hey, I...

You...

Shut up!

Ugh! The masses
are always so uber-critical.

Huh?

I know just the thing
that'll make them change their polka.

A stroller?

Not just any stroller.

The Strollmeister 3000.

This baby is pure strolling machine.

I wouldn't dream of putting
little Gustaf in anything else.

And I can tell that a responsible
person like yourself

demands top of the line safety
and protection for your kleine liebshkin.

Darn tootin'.

See, I told you I was responsible.

Pepper Ann,
being responsible is more than...

Maybe you should worry more
about getting little Wisconsin

into baby college and less about me and...

-[GASPS] Erma?
-There she goes!

I got her.

Um, can you, like,
mix Baby Togglers with Giraffables?

Yeah, but it makes it so hard
to accessorize.

I got her.

Next to your adorable little Monica,
my Veronica looks...

Totally cute, just like her mommy.

I got her.

[SCREAMS]

[SHUDDERS]

[STRUGGLES]

Erma!

Let. Go. Leggo.

Help, sis! She's stealing my dolly. [SOBS]

-Sis?
-[SIS GRUNTS]

-[GRUNTS]
-[PEPPER ANN GROANS]

[GROANS]

I gotcha! [SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

PEPPER ANN: No!

Take me instead.

And that's what happened, Mr. Finky.

So technically,
I didn't really lose her.

You think he'll buy it?

Is that what you're looking for?

Oh, Erma, you naughty little... [SCREAMS]

[STEVE MEOWS]

Hmmm.

Don't worry, Erma, I'll save you.

[GASPS]

[GROANS]

[GASPS]

[STRAINS] Ack!

Maybe I'm not as responsible as I thought.

[GASPS]

The croquet set. Of course.

[WAILING]

-[WAILING]
-No.

What now, Ms. Responsibility?

I can handle it.

[WAILING CONTINUES]

Don't cry, Erma.

My name is Barfey,
the friendly purple, uh... thing.

Hi Barfey! I'm Moose's sock, Stinky!
[CHUCKLES]

[WAILING]

Huh! Rock-a-bye baby
Rock-a-bye babe!

[WAILING]

Guess what? Monkey butt! [LAUGHS]

-Huh!
-[ERMA WAILING]

PEPPER ANN: Dear kind stranger.

Please take care of my little Erma.

-She needs someone... responsible.
-[WAILING]

Signed, Can't Handle It In Hazelnut.

[SOBS] P.S. diaper wipes
are in the pink unicorn bag.

-[WAILING]
-PEPPER ANN: Goodbye, Erma.

[SNIFFLES] Don't look at me like that.

Believe me, it's for the best.

-[SNIFFLES]
-[ERMA WAILING]

PEPPER ANN:
This shouldn't come as a shock to anyone.

I never said I was the "responsible" type.

Oh, sure, maybe one day
I'll learn how to be responsible.

But until then, I'm just gonna have
to live with the taunts and the ridicule.

Oh, there goes Pepper Ann.
She's not responsible.

The Pearson girl? Irresponsible.

Oh, don't give Pepper Ann that job,

she couldn't even take care
of a doll for a weekend.

Oh, oh, sorry, girls
I had to work late and...

[GASPS] Oh, Pepper Ann,
you're a life saver.

-And so responsible.
-Me?

You?

Her?

Darn tootin'!

-Where are you going?
-I gotta finish my homework!

Oh please still be there, Erma, please.

[ERMA WAILING]

PEPPER ANN: Erma!

-[WAILING]
-Oh, Erma!

Oh! Ah!

Pepper Ann?

Uh, Nicky, well, what are you doing here?

-It's my house.
-Oh, right.

Wow, Pepper Ann.

You've really established
a bond with Erma.

That's important in a doll's
early stages of development.

See? And you were worried.

[CHOMPING]

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme!

This is the flyest,
most well-adjusted doll I have ever seen.

That's why they call me
Ms. Responsibility.

By the way, did you remember
to finish your chemistry project?

[GASPS] Uh-oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]