01x03 - Old Best Friend/Crunch Pod

[bunniefuu]

Who's that girl? What's her name?
Is she cool? Is she lame?

Oh, you're talking about what's her name?

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Is she lame? Is she cool?
Is she breaking every rule?

Is she anybody's fool?

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann

BOY: Who?

GIRL:
Is that that girl from gym class?

-MOOSE: No, that's me.
-GIRL 1: Oh.

GIRL 2: Who is she,
and why does she have her own song?

PEPPER ANN: Did someone take my lunch?

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million!

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Much too cool for seventh grade

No one's cooler than Pepper Ann!

She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann!

Ooh, five bucks.

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

PEPPER ANN: It was destined to be
the worst week of my life.

The older "Grizzly Girls"
were already giving me a hard time.

But she changed everything.

She was more than a friend.

She was my Cubby Buddy...
[SNIFFS] ...Brenda.

[PEPPER ANN SIGHS]

We formed a bond that can never be broken.

You spent one week together
at Chubby Camp.

Okay, it was Cubby Camp
and it was intense.

[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]

Keep going! We're almost home free!

-Look out!
-[g*n c*ck]

-[g*nsh*t]
-[SCREAMS]

Go on. [SOBS] Save yourself.

I'll never leave you.

PEPPER ANN: She would do anything for me.

I still remember the day when I, um,
thought I'd never see her again. [SNIFFS]

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[BUS ENGINE IDLING]

We'll always have Cubby Camp.

[SOBS]

[MUSIC FADES]

And now she's moving to Hazelnut!

We know you're excited Pepper Ann
and we're excited for you, but...

It's been many a fortnight
since Cubby Camp, milady.

Yeah, what if you and Brenda
don't have anything in common anymore?

Don't worry. Brenda and I have already
agreed that if it doesn't work out,

we'll be totally up-front
and honest with each other.

Listen, Brenda and I are gonna have
a lot of catching up to do,

so we may want to spend some time alone,
you know, just the two of us.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

-[ENGINE IDLING]
-[METAL SCREECHING]

[SCREAMS]

Cubby hug!

These are my best friends, Nicky and Milo,

and they're gonna hang out with us
the whole time, okay?

Great. You can show me around.

All aboard the Brenda Express!

[IMITATING TRAIN WHISTLE]

Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug
a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a.

I can't hear you!

ALL: Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a.

Ba-rakes!

Okay. Uh, here's Hazelnut's
hippest bookstore.

Books? Ugh! They're just TV
in boring form.

Pardon my alliteration,
but this boxcar's bailing at Boringville.

-[BRENDA GRUNTING]
-MILO: Whoa.

BRENDA: Woo woo!

Chhhh-uga-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug
a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a...

And here's Hazelnut's coolest place
to play Crunch Pod.

Video Games? [CHUCKLES]

Gee, I think I know how to waste my time
for free, thanks.

Later, Cubby Ann.

-This caboose is cutting loose.
-But...

-Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a!
-Woo woo.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

BRENDA: Pulling into the station.
[SQUEALING]

PEPPER ANN: Woo woo.

Ooh. [SIGHS] This little engine
better get home. [LAUGHS]

Oh! Stay for dinner, Pepper Ann, please?
Please? Pretty please.

Oh. [HESITATES] I'd love to, but I can't.
I've got to...

uh, babysit Moose. Bye!

[PANTS]

[EXHALES]

-[GASPS]
-I'll babysit Moose with you!

[GRUNTS]

We'll braid her hair, play dollies
and stuff ourselves on Choco-Puffins.

It'll be kazoodles of fun.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey, Moose, ready?

Maybe some other time.

[GASPS] Is this the infamous Brenda
that Peppy has told me so much about?

Oh! Well she just can't stop talking
about you.

[GASPS] Hey, Peppy, why don't you two
have a sleepover?

-[GASPS]
-BRENDA: Really?

Yeah. If it's okay with your parents.

-Where's the phone?
-This way.

-BRENDA: I can stay!
-[GLASS SHATTERS]

What am I going to do?

Why don't you be up-front and honest?
Tell her it just isn't working out.

[GASPS] That's it!

Oh, Pepper Ann, this is the best...

Hey, are you okay?

You're glad I'm staying over, right?

You don't want me to go home, do you?

Don't you dare.

Good, because this friendship
means absolutely everything to me.

[GROANS]

PEPPER ANN: Pssst!

[WHISPERING] Is Brenda following you?

No. Why?

You're not gonna believe this,

but Brenda and I have absolutely...

-Ow!
-...nothing in common anymore.

Then why don't you tell her?

Right. Like I'm that mature.

There's my number one Cubby Bubby!

Hi, Micky!

It's Nicky.

But Micky is so much cuter.

Milo, Milo, bo-biddly-bilo
Filo, Filo, fee-fiddly-filo

Shmilo, Shmilo, shmo-shmiddly-shmilo
Toe tiddly fiddly Milo

-Oops.
-Ow.

Ooh. You'd better go to the nurse.

Uh, I... I better go with you.

But don't you and Brenda have to,
you know... talk?

[GASPS] Great!

Now you have more time
to watch my routine.

-Oops.
-I'll get it!

[PANTS]

[SCREAMS]

Phew!

Pepper, Pepper, bo-biddly-bepper

Fepper, Fepper, fee-fiddly-fepper

Shmepper, Shmepper, shmo-shmiddly-shmepper
Toe tiddly-fiddly Pepper!

I-said-uh-Pepper, Pepper
Bo-biddly-bepper...

Uh, Fepper, Fepper, fee-fiddly-fepper...

Shmepper, Shmepper, shmo-shmiddly
Shmepper...

Toe tiddly fiddly Pepper!

Pepper, Pepper, bo-biddly-bepper
Fepper, Fepper, fee-fiddly-fepper

Shmepper, Shmepper
Shmo-shmiddly-shmepper...

Toe tiddly fiddly Pepper!

I-said-uh-Pepper, Pepper
Bo-biddly-bepper...

[WATER DRIPPING]

Shmepper, Shmepper
Shmo-shmiddly-shmepper...

Toe tiddly fiddly Pepper!

The operation is a success!

[HEART MONITOR BEEPING]

[SHRIEKS]

Wanna go to Sparkle Me Mine?

Huh?

After school, wanna go
to Sparkle Me Mine?

All right, all right. Who's talking then?

Me! Me! It was me!

One hour detention after school, Pearson.

Yeah! [CHUCKLES] I mean boo.

Mr. Carter? May I have detention too?

We don't just give out detention
willy-nilly in these parts, Missy.

You have to earn... it.

BRENDA: We'll suffer together. [SOBBING]

Oh, goody.

BOTH: Whoa!

I've gotta keep movin'.

If I stay in one place too long,
she'll get me for sure.

-Pepper Ann...
-But...

Uh-uh. I can't tell you where I'm going.
It'll only put you in danger.

[SIGHS] I am gonna miss you guys.

Just tell Brenda the truth.

The truth? She can't handle the truth.

Come on, you owe it to her.
You owe it to yourself.

You're right.

I've been running for too long.

-Brenda, I have to...
-Pepper Ann?

[GIGGLES] You first.

-Okay.
-No, me first. [GIGGLES]

I have to be honest with you, Pepper Ann.

We just don't have anything
in common anymore.

Oh, don't feel bad.

I've grown and you've... changed.

I've made new best friends, Pepper Ann.

-I hope you understand.
-What?

-Come on.
-Brenda.

-Let's...
-Do...

-Lunch.
-And eat?

Goodbye, Pepper Ann.

We'll always have Cubby Camp.

Can you believe that?

After all we've been through together.

Brenda, Brenda, bo-biddly-benda

Frenda, Frenda, fee-fiddly-fenda

MILO: Wait a minute. That never happened.

PEPPER ANN: Shmenda, Shmenda
shmo-shmiddly-shmenda

NICKY: Pepper Ann,
now you're being ridiculous. I'm leaving.

PEPPER ANN: Brenda

RJ: Top of the morning to you.

It's six a.m. and you know what
that means.

Time to crunch the Pod.

RJ: Time for Hazelnut's annual
Crunch Pod video game competition.

Competition? [CHUCKLES]

Not with Milo Kamalani at the joystick.

He eats, sleeps and breathes video games.

[SNORES]

RJ: So come on out
and support Milo Kamalani

as he defends his Crunch Pod
video game title

for the third consecutive year in a row!

Fourth, fourth year in a row.
Didn't you get the fax I sent?

-[SNORES]
-[GLASS SHATTERS]

[YAWNS, SMACKS LIPS]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

-[GASPS]
-PEPPER ANN: Rise and shine,

champion of Crunch.

So tired.

-Need sleep.
-Sleep is for infants and old people.

Protein? Are you crazy?

How many times have I told you?
Carbs, carbs, carbs!

[GASPS] Not with the game hand!

Come on! Let me see that Milo magic.

Query, why are you so pumped about this?

Hey, I'm your friend. Your amiga.

Huh. I'm here to help you,
to lighten your load.

So drop and give me twenty! Now!

-[BUTTONS CLICKING]
-[ARCADE GAMES BEEPING]

You are so lucky to be on Team Milo.

-Anything for a friend.
-[DOOR SLAMS OPEN]

Papa in Himmel. He is not human.

Settle down. The champ is ready!

Let the games begin!

-[ARCADE MUSIC PLAYING]
-[KEYS CLACKING]

Go with the flow. Listen to the machine.

-[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
-[SCREAMS]

-[ARCADE MUSIC PLAYING]
-[KEYS CLACKING]

Work up a sweat. Earn that title!

[KEYS CLACKING]

BOY: No.

Homestretch, champ. One more to go!

Dang!

[GAME BEEPS]

Winner and still champion...
Milo Kamalani!

[LOUD APPLAUSE]

-I kiss your feet.
-Please worship at a reasonable distance.

Okay. The champ will now
take some questions from the crowd.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

You know, in my eyes,
everybody is a winner.

Amazing, isn't he? We're like this.

VIDEO MACHINE: Free game.

I don't care about the title.

-The glory lies in the game...
-[CROWD SIGHING]

I know what you're thinking,
"Where does he get his stamina?"

One word, carbs.

...because it's not whether
you win or lose,

it's how you crunch the Pod.

-[CROWD GASPING]
-[SOBS]

Poetry, man.

-Quick. Somebody write that down.
-[MACHINE BEEPING]

VIDEO MACHINE:
High score. High score. High score.

-High score.
-[ALL GASP]

Okay. Who's the joker?

Who dares to steal the title
from my best friend?

-Who?
-Um. Pepper Ann, it's you.

Okay. See, that was...
I was just standing...

then... and then I played the...

The king is dead!
Long live the queen!

[CROWD CHEERING]

No. No.

Wait. It was a m... mistake.
A malfunction.

We demand a rematch!

Hey, there's the champ.

Mind if I, uh, walk with you, champ?

-It's a free sidewalk.
-Where'd you get that hat?

Because that is the hat of a champion.

-I found it in the garbage.
-And I waste my time shopping.

-MILO: Thanks, you know...
-TESSA: Hey,

-new Crunch...
-Pod Champ!

-Your scrunchie...
-Is the freshest.

The central nervous system. [EXCLAIMS]

Compelling use of dental floss, Kamalani.

I give you an A.

Wow. An A. That really rocks.

MR. CARTER: Pearson,
I believe this is yours.

Crude. Hurried. Yet...

strangely brilliant.

I give it an A-plus.

Have you been pumping iron?
Cause you are looking really buff.

P.A., go sit in the fridge and chill.

I really don't care
that you got the high score.

You don't?

Why would I care? I'm in it
for the zen of the Crunch.

I thought you were upset.

Me? Upset? On fish stick day?

[SIGHS] Well, I'm glad that's settled.

CRAIG: Hey, Pearson.

[GROANS]

Nice Pod.

-[BOTH GASP]
-MILO: "Nice Pod"?

"Nice Pod"?

What do you know about Pods?
What do any of you know?

Especially you.

All you did was win the lottery.

But now all of these neophyte Pod wannabes
think you're the greatest thing on earth,

when, in fact, you're just a whack warrior
from the Planet Pretender!

Who's up for Choca-poodle?
Choca-poodle? Choca-poodle?

Look, I'm sorry you lost,
but you got to face the truth.

And the truth is, I beat you!

Hey, did I ever tell you
about the time a swan chased me up the...

-Novice!
-Hack!

-Don't just stand there.
-Don't just stand there.

-Bring it on.
-Bring it on.

NICKY: Can we be reasonable about this?

After all, we're all friends here!

Huzzah, and welcome to Burger Fortress.

I am Sir Helpsalot.

May I takest thine order?

Uh, I'll have a Fortress Frank
and, uh, a Jester Juice.

And for you, sire?

Gimme a Fortress Frank,
a Jester Juice and a Hot Suet Pie.

Okay. Make mine a Fortress Frank,
a Jester Juice,

two Hot Suet Pies and a Moat Shake.

MILO: Then I'll have a Fortress Frank,
a Jester Juice,

three Hot Suet Pies, two Moat Shakes
and a Battering Ramburger.

Enough!

This time, we finish it.

Taste cold steel.

On guard!

[BOTH GRUNT]

Now who's the best?

Pepper Ann.

Louder, you short-fingered barbarian!

-Pepper Ann.
-Louder! So the world can hear!

NICKY: Pepper Ann!

Help me.

Uh. Got a sec?

You guys have got to sort this out.

You two have got to find a reasonable way
to settle your differences.

This is not what I had in mind.

Here's the lowdown.

No high-sticking,
no jiggling the machines.

Choose your weapons.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[ARCADE MUSIC PLAYING]

Crunch crud, Kamalani!

Eat Pod, Pearson!

[MACHINE BEEPING]

ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!

-Fight! Fight! Fight!
-[ARCADE MUSIC STOPS]

-BOY: Huh?
-BOY 1: What?

-What's it?
-What?

-What happened?
-What happened, man?

-I dunno.
-[NICKY WHISTLING]

I've had it with you two!

I have tried reason.
I have tried kindness.

Well, no more Nicky Nice-Nice!

You two are best friends,
so you'd better start acting like it!

Ee... easy, cowgirl.

Dude, it's only a game.

What is with her?
I've never seen her like this.

She can't take the pressure.

We better get her out of here.

[CROWD MURMURING]

Hey, Emmet, I paid to see a fight.

-You trying to rip us off?
-CROWD: Rip-off!

-It's not my fault.
-CROWD: Rip-off!

-It's the blonde girl.
-CROWD: Rip-off!

-Blame the blonde girl!
-CROWD: Rip-off!

-It's her. It's her!
CROWD: Rip-off!

Rip-off! Rip-off!

You gotta learn to relax.

Yeah, no matter what
you're going through, it's okay.

-I'm here for you.
-And I'm here for you.

-I'm so glad you're finally...
-Of course, I'm here for her more.

But I've always been here for her.

Listen, Kamalani, you don't even know

-what "here for her" means.
-What are you talking about?

-PEPPER ANN: Yeah, that's what I said.
-MILO: You know she was my friend first.

Give her back to me!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

PEPPER ANN: I've known her
longer than you! Give her back!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES]