02x01 - Creature Feature: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

[Clock chimes]

[Children shout]

[Growls]

[Knock on door]

Enter the domain

Of cinematic delight.

Hey, john.

- Nathan,
- my main man.

You know lisa.

Yeah, s-seen you around.

- Didn't know you were coming.
- Cool.

So this evening's selection,

From 1957,

Filmed in blood-curdling

Color...

I was a teenage tick.

Part teenager, part tick,

All terror.

- Yuck.
- Exactly.

- The yuck factor
- is a definite 10.

The dialogue is corny,

And the acting's not so good,

Except for evelyn nester,

Who plays margery.

I kind of have this thing

For her.

I don't really know why,

But the tick monster, way cool.

- Easily one of
- edward dewalt's finest films.

Edward who?

The director.

Uh, blood demons from hell?

Revenge of the dog woman?

I thought we were going

To the beach.

Nah, nate came over

To watch movies.

- John, listen. - Lisa just got
- her driver's license.

Genius. Let's get comfy.

Roll film.

So her dad gave her

His old truck,

- And she wants to drive down
- to this beach party.

Everybody's going to be there.

No, the plan was to stay up

All night watching movies.

Remember?

- Well, we'll do some of that.
- It's a long summer.

Is there a bathroom?

Right behind you.

Lisa allitor?

Did the prep suddenly declare

Befriend-a-geek week?

Don't stereotype people, dude.

I'm a geek and I'm proud.

But I'm not a geek.

Since when?

- Since 5:00 p.m. When I ran
- into lisa at mighty burger,

And she invited me to the party.

You?

She was kind of down.

I'm a good listener.

- She just broke up
- with her boyfriend.

Aha.

And I said I could only go

If you could come.

That would be like

Shawn mosley and amy chin

And jason hubley

And sand,

Lots and lots of sand.

Sand and shawn mosley...

Not a good combination.

- Can't just hole up a dark room,
- living in the movies.

- I would rather live
- in the movies.

The fools around here,

They don't get me,

- And you're
- the only person I know

- Who's into old movies
- and stuff.

But I'm into other stuff, too.

[Door opens]

So are we ready to go?

Oh, man.

[Singing along to radio]

♪ 'Cause I don't want you

Anymore ♪

♪ You keep prying,

There's no answer ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't

And I won't so just don't ♪

- Don't you love
- this song?

He hates this song.

It kind of grows on you.

♪ Can't and I won't

So just don't ♪

♪ So just don't ♪

♪ So just don't ♪

Lisa, I know.

- ♪ [Stops]
- if you're into beach parties,

- I got mega beach party movies
- back at my house.

Beach party m*ssacre,

Beach party blood bath,

Werewolf surfers from mars.

Let's get snacks

- And go have a beach party
- movie marathon.

I'll pass.

- How come you hang out
- with him?

He's so weird.

Whoa.

- Getting foggy. - [Lisa] yeah,
- what's up with that?

- And out of nowhere.
- I can barely see.

There was a fog like this

In the skin of death,

1978, Liberty pictures.

Three students were stalked

Through a strange fog

By a deranged plastic sur...

Who cares?

I hate those kind of movies.

Students were in a car.

They couldn't see a thing,

But they knew the plastic

Surgeon was out there.

No wonder no one

Ever talks to him...

Red light!

He had a razor sharp scalpel...

Would you shut up?

[Lisa]

I can't even see the road.

Something could be out there,

And you wouldn't even know.

Why won't this light

Change?

I don't believe it.

What?

There's a drive-in

Movie theater.

Where?

I don't see anything.

- It was there.
- I saw it.

Big deal.

[Unbuckling]

- John, what the heck?
- What are you doing?

I gotta check this out.

John!

What's wrong with him?

- Look. Call him and tell him
- that we're going.

He can catch a bus

Back to his house.

I can't ditch john.

I just can't.

Just drive over there.

- I'll get him back in the car.
- I promise.

- [Nathan]
- john!

Oh, man, john was right.

Look.

Isn't that the movie

- You guys were supposed
- to watch tonight?

That's just weird.

Is this amazing or what?

It's pretty cool, john,

But we gotta go.

- Did you see
- what's playing tonight?

I was a teenage tick.

Yeah, I saw.

How mysterioso is that?

- Did you even know this place
- was here?

[Nathan] uh-uh.

Me neither.

And how would I not know

Something like that?

I'm, like, mr. Movie.

Oh, man, check out

The snack bar.

[Laughs]

Oh, brother.

♪ We've got popcorn, chips,

And candy ♪

♪ In the lobby

Where it's handy ♪

♪ Hurry and we won't be slow ♪

♪ Grab your snacks

And enjoy the show ♪

♪ Come in where

The treats are... ♪

This is so great.

[Door opens]

Hello? Is anybody here?

John.

What?

We've got to go.

Yeah, yeah, I know,

- But everything's so retro,
- and...

Scope the walls.

I own all those posters.

This is almost like my room.

It's pretty weird all right.

I hate all this cheesy

Old-time stuff.

I want to go.

I'm sorry, lisa.

Really.

Just give me a minute,

And I'll get him back

In the car.

I promise.

Okay.

Dang it.

John?

The projection booth.

John, are you in there?

If he is, he shouldn't be.

It's trespassing.

Dude.

Dude.

You're trespassing.

Nowadays everything is digital.

This is totally old school.

Okay, let's pack it up,

Children, and return

To the vehicle.

And look. It's all set up

And ready to go.

I'm in heaven.

- Dude, we have to watch
- the movie.

- It's like we have
- our own private movie theater.

Do something.

John.

Hey, you're shaking me.

I know, because I need

To get your attention.

Read my lips.

We are leaving.

We are leaving now.

Just walk out.

- You don't want to watch
- the movie?

No.

You break my heart.

Listen, we'll go

To the party with lisa,

And then tomorrow you and I

Will come back here.

- But I'm sure this place
- will still be here tomorrow.

Of course it will.

It was here tonight.

Dang it, john.

Where did he go?

How would I know?

He was standing right there.

I don't know where he went.

- [John]
- nathan, you guys.

John, where are you?

I can barely hear you.

I'm up here.

Up where?

Here.

Young man, what are you doing

In my laboratory?

- What am I doing
- in your laboratory?

That is a really good question.

And I'm waiting

For the answer.

Yes, yes, I see that.

I know what I'm doing

In your laboratory.

I am a university student,

And I was sent here

To assist you.

This is impossible.

Yow!

You look young to be

A university student.

I skipped a grade.

Should we pull the plug?

Pull the plug on john?

Never mind.

- Go ahead and put on
- a lab coat.

You can help me

With my experiment.

We need some volume.

- The speakers.
- Come on!

Where does this go?

Roll up the window a little.

Daddy.

Oh.

This is my daughter, margery.

I know.

I saw the movie.

Excuse me?

- Forget it.
- I'm john.

Oh, I love that name.

John? She loves

The name john?

Dermacentor andersoni,

Or commonly called

The rocky mountain tick.

Yes, and you are studying

The proteins of its saliva

For its possibilities

In promoting

Immune response in humans.

Correct.

Gosh, how did you know that?

I know a lot of stuff.

John.

John!

I don't think he can hear you.

- Dr. Wright, I need to warn you
- about dr. Mangle.

Dr. Mangle, my most trusted

Colleague?

He is so jealous of your work,

And besides that

He's criminally insane,

And he made this serum

That will turn humans

Into giant ticks,

And he's going to inject it

Into your daughter.

[Gasps]

Hah!

You watch too many movies,

Young man.

And you haven't watched enough.

[Cell phone rings]

What's that,

Some sort of alarm clock?

Something like that.

Hello?

It worked.

John, it's nathan.

- How the heck did you get
- inside the movie?

I have no idea,

But it's totally cool.

I have to save margery.

Isn't she hot?

Ah, dr. Mangle.

- I gotta go.
- The villain just entered,

And you probably shouldn't

Call me here.

No, no.

I'm running out of battery

Anyways.

He's got a lot of nerve.

Dr. Mangle, I would like you

To meet john.

John, this is dr. Emile mangle.

- [Clicks heels]
- ah.

[German accent]

We can always use new blood

Around here.

Yeah.

Dr. Wright, I need some help

Recording some data.

If you don't mind,

I would love to use margery

For said purpose.

♪ [Ominous]

- Am I the only one
- that heard that?

♪ [Continues]

Heard what?

Never mind.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Call him again.

- You can't be alone
- with mangle.

Well, somebody's jealous.

Yeah, mangle, of your dad.

[Cell phone rings]

One second.

Did you like that line?

"Yeah, mangle, of your dad"?

Not bad, huh?

I'm having so much fun.

How do I look?

Stupid.

Turning off my phone.

But no, don't.

Aah.

John, listen to me.

Emile is brilliant

And loyal.

- And you have a schoolgirl
- crush on him.

Can you blame me?

- I think you're young
- and impressionable.

You don't see that mangle's

Going to use your innocence

- To further
- his own twisted agenda.

♪ [Romantic]

But I do see it.

Even if you never give me

Another moment's thought,

I'm going to use

All the power that I have

To protect you.

Gee, nobody's ever said

Anything like that

To me before.

Oh. I hope they get together.

What are you talking about?

- He's trapped
- in a make-believe world.

You're right.

I got lost in the story.

Darling, shall we go?

I have been doing my work

In my basement laboratory.

You mean that isolated cabin

Where no one can hear

The screams of your victims?

Oh, john,

Don't be silly, now.

Listen to him, you airhead.

You wanna tell me

What's going on here?

- Projectors don't just turn on
- by themselves.

Well, this one did,

- And it sucked my friend
- into the movie.

Officer, this place

Is haunted.

I've heard that one before.

- I'm telling you
- that projector is possessed.

Stand back, sir.

You, too, ma'am.

Aah!

- That's my friend.
- That's john.

Is he a peeping tom?

It's a movie.

Stand back.

The heck.

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Where am i?

[Squishing sound]

[Screaming]

Oh, man, there's got to be

Something we can do.

Ew, that's so disgusting.

- [Man on radio]
- unit 684,

Report your status.

Over.

[Southern accent]

This is unit 684.

Incident investigated.

No ill*gal activity observed.

Situation under control.

Over.

10-4.

[Laughs]

That's enough.

Back!

[Prod zaps]

Back!

We have other fish to fry.

Or blood to suck.

[Maniacal laugh]

Back to the laboratory!

Back! Back!

[Chuckles]

Gets me every time.

Show this tiny little cabin.

On the inside it turns out

To be this ginormous lab.

[Sighs]

Edward dewalt, I love you.

[Muffled cry]

Help.

Margery.

Oh, john, I'm so glad

You're here.

Dr. Mangle is evil.

Duh.

Where's mangle?

I don't know.

Are you going to cut me loose?

Oh, yeah, right.

Nathan, I got it.

What if we cut

The film?

Cut the film?

Interesting.

Oh, I think I have

Manicure scissors in here.

We've got to get out of here.

John, I'm sorry

I didn't listen to you.

Gee, margery,

- If only you'd known how many
- times I've watched you.

Hm?

- From afar.
- Mm.

Aw.

What are you doing?

Sorry.

- Can I ask you a question?
- Mm-hm.

Do you like watching movies?

More than anything

In the whole wide world.

Cool.

[Screams]

Hurry up!

What the?

Back! Barry,

Try to control yourself.

Barry? You mean barry bernbaum,

Your former student assistant?

I wouldn't say former.

He'll still get class credit.

- Looks like you've got yourself
- a nervous tick.

You know what they say.

There is a sucker born

Every minute.

- John was right
- about one thing...

The dialogue is terrible.

The scissors!

Margery, try not to think of

Barry as a revolting monster.

Instead, think of him as the

Future father of your children,

Your thousands of children!

You're mad, mangle.

- You'll be singing
- a different song

- When your mouth looks
- like barry's.

Hey, this was on the floor.

Good old dad.

[Gasps]

Do it. Cut the film.

Now I'm not sure.

What if we cut the film,

And john doesn't come back?

It would be like k*lling him.

I don't know.

No, please don't.

No.

Don't! Please no, don't.

- We don't have a choice,
- do we?

I don't think so.

What do you think?

Just do it.

[Film flapping]