Divorce (2024)

[bunniefuu]

Let's cut to the chase, Jacek.

Of course, Father.

Tell me, why should we deem

your sacrament to be... null and void?

Our sacrament should be deemed

null and void, sir,

as, in actuality,

we were divorced years ago.

And...

...Magosia has a new husband now.

And I... well, have a new fiance.

Okay. And?

And...

ONE MONTH EARLIER

60 YEARS

WE LIVE HERE, WE WORK HERE. HOORAY!

Kid's covered in blood,

and my boss, she's just glaring at me.

-Have you gone completely mental?

-He started it.

-So you knock his teeth out while playing?

-That was unintentional.

Andrzej. Seriously, this is amusing?

So what was I supposed to do?

I have no idea, Ala. How about nothing?

Definitely not knock his teeth out.

It was just one tooth, you know?

Don't be such a smart aleck!

Want the cost to get his tooth fixed

to come out of your allowance?

That's what I thought.

-Oh, pardon me, I'm terribly sorry.

-Robert?

-Uh, is this my taxi?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah

To the college?

Yes, yeah.

It's a bit of an unusual situation.

I have to take my family home too.

You don't mind, do you?

Uh...

Um... Okay.

Hello.

Hello.

And if I wanna do something else?

Like?

I don't know. Ping-pong?

Ping-pong, huh?

Really?

What a great idea.

Is that Jacek?

Hey, Jacek.

Hi. Uh, you know what?

I can't reach Goka.

Yeah, my phone's turned off.

I had a concert.

What's up? Tell me.

No, not much. It's just...

Obviously, there's something. Just say it.

Well, uh... I...

I just wanted to tell you my mom died.

-Oh gosh. I'm... I'm so sorry.

-My condolences.

The funeral's the day after tomorrow,

and I thought that...

Here.

Hold on.

Does Ilona know?

If you want, I can call her.

No worries. Of course.

You take care. See ya.

-Hello there!

-Hi.

Good to see you.

-Nice to see you.

-We are having the best Polish beer.

-Cool. Have fun.

-Is something wrong?

Yes, I need to speak to you.

Go into another room.

So what's up?

Hmm?

So, listen,

your grandma's passed away.

I'm so sorry.

Uh, sorry, which one?

Kazia.

Oh Jesus! Wow. Don't scare me like that.

I thought you meant your mom, not Dad's.

No way! You know how tough she is.

Come on.

Mom...

It's true though. You know it.

I mean, it's still terrible

that she passed away. Poor Dad.

Poor Dad.

Your voice sounds a little hoarse?

Mom, is something burning?

Oh dammit.

Don't exaggerate. Oh, hey.

KAZIMIERA NIEDBALSKA

LIVED 81 YEARS, DIED ON 5/13/23

-Hey.

-Hey. Thanks so much for coming.

-How are you holding up?

-I'll be okay.

-My mother...

-Hmm.

Who would've thought?

Gone, just like that.

Did she ever smile?

Oh... don't be ridiculous.

When?

When Ilona was born.

She was happy then, sure,

but she didn't smile. I remember.

I always wondered about her.

I could never tell if she had a headache

or something, or just didn't like me.

-Magosia.

-Yeah?

-I have a favor to ask.

-Oh?

-A huge one.

-Really?

Monika and I...

We just got engaged.

-Well, then, congratulations.

-Thanks.

So I have a request.

Will you please divorce me?

Again? How?

Not again, just differently.

-Through the church.

-Oh.

-It's a simple form.

-Mm-hmm.

I'll send it over.

You just have to sign it. It's as easy...

-Sorry. Listen...

-Hmm?

Roman and his family are here.

Shall we take a picture?

Listen, Roman and his family are here.

-So maybe we...

-Honey, stop it. I was just saying that.

-So?

-Magosia?

-Will you take our photo?

-We'll be right over.

-Yes. Yes.

-Yes?

-What do you say?

-Come on, Mariana.

-Yes, yes.

-Yes?

-Yes.

-Right now, yeah?

-Can I count on you?

-Yes. Mm-hmm.

-Right now. Mm-hmm.

-So?

-Yes.

-Oh, great.

DIVORCE

A court for church?

Sounds like another great tradition,

like the Inquisition.

Nah, I think it's just a name.

It's not like they're putting us on trial.

Why even agree to go, then?

Don't we have enough problems?

It was at his mother's funeral.

How exactly am I supposed to say "no"

in that situation?

Besides, the issue is moot anyway.

The church wedding was his plan.

-I'm sure his young bride is the reason.

-Yeah, the issue is moot, huh?

We'll see when you end up

with all these churches to visit.

It's not even at a church.

It's at the, uh, curia.

-Mm-hmm.

-Or something.

At the diocese bishop's?

-Yeah, that's where.

-Mm-mm.

-You're screwed, then.

-How so?

All I needed was a document

to become a godmother,

and they screened me

as if I was applying for a loan!

-But you got the note?

-As if!

I was able to get

a fake certificate online for 200.

Ala?

Are you going to eat with us?

No!

I didn't think

there'd be so much paperwork.

I think my grant application

had less pages.

Did you get a response from them?

Yeah. Six to 12 weeks,

whatever that means.

-Maybe you'll get your divorce by then.

-Don't even joke like that.

"How would you best describe

your marital relations?"

Relations?

"They were just fine."

"How regularly were you performing..."

Oh my God! No!

How often were we screwing?

You're joking.

"How regularly were you performing

your conjugal duties?"

Next they'll wanna know

if you had orgasms.

What should I put down?

Uh, how many times a week, or what?

-What?

-Nothing.

-We were 20 years old.

-I didn't say anything.

Write what you want.

Should I put less?

To make it look better?

Oh, come on!

Don't act like you were any different.

Fine. "Maybe less."

There, perfect.

Excellent.

All right, good job today,

and tomorrow just be enthusiastic, okay?

-Can we pick the next song?

-You promised you would let us.

Hm.

All right.

-Yes!

-Perhaps that, uh, one piece that...

Oh, I like that.

You're already applauding,

and I haven't even told you all the news.

I was able to set up

the next gig for your ensemble.

The opening of a train station

in Soroczyce.

Whoa.

The minister himself

will be there.

So it's important we do our best.

It's a great opportunity.

There's no doubt about it, guys.

-To do what?

-Ala.

Hey.

Okay, who is the comedian?

Excuse me.

Is this how you're going to act

in front of the minister too?

Hello?

-Mrs. Magorzata Kubiak?

-Yes?

I'm calling from

the Warsaw Metropolitan Court.

Court?

I'm calling to see when I can schedule you

to come in for questioning?

Wait, uh, questioning about what?

It's in regards to

your declaration of nullity of marriage.

Uh, I thought

I wrote everything down on that form.

We still have a few questions.

Please come at 3 p.m. tomorrow.

FIRST INSTANCE

Come in, please.

Good afternoon.

-God bless.

-Right, God bless. Sorry.

-Mrs. Kubiak?

-Yes.

Water? Coffee?

Hmm... Perhaps a coffee.

Mm.

WADOWICE FOREVER!

Thank you.

Now I'll ask some questions,

and all you've got to worry about

is answering them honestly.

-Like in confession. You understand?

-Mm-hmm.

This is Aniela, our notary public.

She's here to make sure

everything goes according to procedure.

When were you and Mr. Jacek Niedbalski

joined in holy matrimony?

In the year 2000, so 23 years ago.

-But now you're living with someone else?

-My husband.

Uh... with my second husband.

We have a daughter together.

I also have a daughter

from my first marriage,

which was, uh, to Jacek.

Please tell me, um,

Mrs. Magorzata,

did you ever try reconciling?

Why not renew the sacred bond

that you made with Jacek?

I can't renew it.

I, um... well,

I got remarried already.

Not in our eyes.

Sometimes it happens that the spouses,

with the help of the Holy Ghost,

think things over and reconcile.

Think over what, precisely?

God works in mysterious ways.

Wait. Would it be all right

to ask you a personal question?

Mm-hmm.

-How old are you, sir?

-It's "Father."

Yes. Um, sorry.

But, really, how old are you, Father?

Me? I'm 28.

Mm.

-May we continue?

-Yes. Yes, of course.

In your questionnaire,

you wrote that your marriage

should be annulled

because you entered into it

"on account of a surprise pregnancy"?

It wasn't planned.

Before the wedding.

And how old is she now, your daughter?

Twenty-three.

But she has a boyfriend, so...

I think I have everything.

The witness.

We just need a witness' name,

and we can send this to the tribunal.

A wedding witness?

The court requires

the questioning of a witness

who will confirm your testimony.

It can be anyone you knew back then.

Uh... your parents, a friend who went.

But I'm no longer in contact

with those people anymore.

Well, for instance,

Mr. Jacek had named a Mr. Waldemar.

-Waldemar...

-Miszczyk.

-Miszczyk.

-Miszczyk?

You weren't aware? That's interesting.

Uh, when will he be in?

Unfortunately, I cannot divulge that,

being a party's witness.

The meeting's already over,

If you're still in the area,

could you turn around and come get me?

All right.

Yeah, it was kind of crazy.

No, no, no, no.

Wait a second.

Listen, all right?

Uh, I need to do something real quick.

Let me call you back.

That's who responded. Absolutely.

And as for the year, well,

it was, uh, 2000, or... no, 2001, I believe.

It was just after their wedding.

We went camping,

and we all stayed in tents,

laughing, singing, s'mores by the fire.

-You get it, Father.

-Yeah, a youth retreat.

Oh.

And the weather was the worst.

Mm. It rained cats and dogs, constantly.

I remember hiding in our tents

and falling asleep listening to the rain.

Peaceful, isn't it?

Uh, and... late at night,

I hear someone outside my tent,

and... the flap rustles.

I still remember

the sound it made perfectly.

The zipper.

It went... zzzt!

Magosia.

Gosh, darn it.

-What are you doing here?

-Me?

How about you?

Or better yet, why is Waldek here?

Waldek? We're doing business,

and he wanted to help.

-What business?

-Y'know... Well, that...

Hold on a sec.

Hi there. Praised be Jesus Christ.

"On July 20th at 1 p.m. in room 203

to commemorate the bishop..."

Goka, it's not nice to eavesdrop.

-But we're not eavesdropping.

-Aren't we?

-Stop it.

-Goka, let's go.

Would you quit?

I'm just waiting around.

-Please...

-Let go.

"Waldek... there's something I gotta say."

And she leans in,

and at the time,

well... I had a girlfriend too.

Just so that you know, Father.

So she leans in, and I think that,

um, she wants to tell me something,

and then... yoink!

Grabs me by the back of the head

and, uh, starts touching it.

It was unbelievable.

'Cause... I mean,

she was the wife of my friend.

Hey. What is he saying?

Excuse me.

What is this drivel?

-Magosia... what are you doing here?

-Shall I demonstrate for them?

-Jacek, get in here.

-Mrs. Kubiak, what are you doing?

Outrageous.

Come here!

-Praised be Jesus Christ forever...

-We were in the woods camping.

Jacek drank too much,

and he was snoring super loud.

I went for a walk

because I couldn't sleep.

-Gosia...

-And then it started raining.

To get out of the rain,

I get into what I thought was our tent.

-And it's the wrong tent.

-It was mine, obviously.

Because it was dark.

I was there by accident. Not by choice.

-As soon as I realized...

-Gosia...

I returned to Jacek,

didn't I? Speak up.

Well...

...I mean, that was over 20 years ago.

-Who can remember?

-Suddenly you can't remember?

How about you? How'd it go down, Jacek?

What's going on here? Father.

Please, everyone...

please leave the premises immediately.

Sure. Let's go.

Actually, you know what?

I've given it some thought, Father.

and you were right.

Let's just forget my application.

You're right.

I think my feelings have rekindled.

I think I should fight for this marriage.

Jacek, I think I still love you.

-But you have a husband.

-What husband? From my civil marriage?

Father, hang on...

Wait, don't record what she said.

No, don't take this down!

Please, Father!

TAKE CARE

AT RETIREMENSit down.

The best musical ideas

come to us from two places,

both from here... and here.

But when you played yesterday,

it didn't come from your hearts

or your heads.

And why is that? I mean,

we're performing for our minister soon.

You don't want to bore him too, do you?

Ala, will you please step forward?

Play this.

And stop.

Now play the same thing, but with a smile.

-With a smile? How?

-Just smile while you're playing.

Stop. Wrong.

Inhale, take a deep breath.

Smile and play.

Perhaps, Krystyna, maybe I should

work out this kink with them?

Pay attention.

Simple, right?

Practice that.

Just practice. It'll get easier.

Question?

Can't we play something

a little more interesting?

Right. Something more upbeat?

Band is a team sport.

You don't always get to do what you want.

I think we should play something

more classical for the minister though?

Yes, keep practicing.

We've got...

Mrs. Magorzata Kubiak?

Yes, that's me.

May we have a word?

-I'm Father Przemysaw Niesporczak.

-Mm-hmm.

-From the tribunal.

-Mm-hmm.

We wanted to inform you in person.

The court deemed

your petition unjustified.

-Oh yeah?

-I'm afraid so.

Ah, but... our records indicate

you were open

to withdrawing your petition.

Actually, I was just pulling his leg.

Just ask Mr...

Father, you were there. Will you...

-What's this?

-Just a formality.

To close the case,

just sign at the bottom.

Hmm?

Ah!

I don't understand. If we lost the case,

what's the point of us withdrawing?

Uh... am I missing something here?

I don't get it?

Like Father Przemysaw said, uh,

it's just a formality.

You lost the case

in the first instance court.

So am I right to think that if

the next instance is able

to push forward our application, then

we can have our divorce?

-A declaration of nullity of marriage.

-Right, that, uh-huh.

Not necessarily.

Um, it could turn out

that it requires, um,

a ruling from the Roman Rota.

Maybe even that of the Tribunal

of the Apostolic Signatura of the Vatican.

Which is both time-consuming

and labor-intensive. For all of us.

And, well, you've got

your own life to worry about.

It's much easier... to pull your petition.

Wouldn't it be simpler

to just give us a divorce?

-A declaration of nullity.

-Right, a declaration of nullity, mm-hmm.

Magorzata,

mm... we, as an institution,

entered into an agreement with you. Okay?

We agreed to marry the two of you

based on that agreement.

Except now you want us to pretend like

there were no terms to that agreement.

As if our agreement never took place.

Hence, the need for a trial.

Hence, the meeting

with the defender of the bond also.

Who, now? What?

The defender is very important.

They will familiarize themselves

with your petition,

mm, and they'll try to argue

that your position has no real merit. So...

They're there to defend

that sacred bond of marriage.

You guys, what marriage?

We haven't been together

for over 20 years.

That's not what our records indicate.

I don't know what else to say.

So you see,

it's not an easy position we're in.

Oh, it isn't.

Everything will come to light though.

What will come to light?

Well, for instance,

your daughter was born out of wedlock...

and stopped attending religious classes.

Uh, come again?

Um...

Sorry, how's that relevant to this?

Pretty much everything is relevant.

I've heard quite enough.

We'll see what the Vatican says.

Take it to the pope himself.

And so you know,

I told her to stop attending. Thank you.

Great meeting.

Yeah, cool.

Doesn't this look awesome?

We've done it.

Listen, I'm sick of this,

but I'm home now, so I've gotta go. Bye.

Check out what we prepared for dinner.

Just her and me.

Uh, how come nobody told me

you quit your religion classes?

Oh... Mm.

-Dad knew.

-What?

I didn't think it was a big deal.

Do you really want her attending anyway?

-That's not the point!

-Did something happen?

No, it's just that they knew,

and I didn't.

Who is "they"?

Two priests came

and saw me at school today.

And they acted like... well, like the Mafia!

Threatening what will come to light,

you know? It's absurd.

-Did you hear Filip quit the band?

-Oh?

Yeah, we're down a trumpet.

Well, thanks very much.

You're probably the reason he quit.

-Hey.

-It's not my fault he quit.

Oh, is that what you think?

He's been talking about it for six months.

And you're just telling me this?

Is it really that hard to understand

that no one's feeling it?

Hey, hey, hey.

And now we're getting gigs

that make no sense.

The verdict?

-Huh?

-Mm-hmm!

That's what I'm talking about!

So? Shall we eat?

Let's not go into details, all right?

It didn't work out.

And that's okay.

Look, I don't wanna

cover for you, all right?

I just don't.

I'm done doing that.

Hi there.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Only half an hour.

I'm Aniela Mikowska.

Are you aware of the role that I play?

Yes, we've already met previously.

That makes you the defender... well, sorry,

the defendress of the bond, doesn't it?

Uh, defender.

And it's my job to attempt

to mend your broken marriage.

Although, I suspect you're here

just to get this rubber-stamped.

Uh... if we can.

-I've read your case files.

-Mm?

You know, marriages like yours

nearly always end in divorce.

That's right.

Sorry, like what?

Dysfunctional and pathological.

Sure, it wasn't perfect,

but our marriage...

-Dysfunctional and pathological?

-It was...

Upon entering matrimony, you explained

that you were already pregnant?

We got married

because we loved each other.

Of course, Magosia.

Thanks a lot. Your verdict gets sent

to the diocese tribunal.

Excuse me, Ms. Aniela.

Please, isn't there anything we can do

to get you to give us that stamp today?

I'm afraid that doesn't exist.

-Uh-huh. Look what I managed to pick up.

-Yes, you picked a winner.

Will you hold this?

So I guess things are all right?

Not even a little.

Are you kidding?

We saw this strange woman.

A woman? How come?

I thought only priests were over there.

Well, she was a layperson.

A... defender of the bond of marriage.

What, ours?

Yeah! No, Andrzej. My bond with Jacek.

So this was a meeting

to get you back with your ex-husband?

Well, I guess that's right.

And she called us pathological.

Us?

Not us. Jacek and I.

Darling, we didn't have a church wedding.

To them, you don't exist.

So how'd it go?

Well... it could've gone better.

For who?

DEFEAT THE DRAGON

Excuse me a second.

Uh, hold on a sec.

I checked online,

and there are, uh, a few options.

I don't wanna suggest

doing anything ill*gal,

but the online forums say

greasing a palm or two

might make things go quicker.

-Gosia, I've already tried that.

-All right.

Then we're gonna have to agree

on a version of events.

Sure, of course. What's that?

Hold on a sec.

Let me, uh, put you on speaker.

We could tell them...

that you were impotent the entire time.

Impotent? And, what,

we bought our kid online?

I don't know.

So far that's my favorite option.

Um, perhaps what you had was

a mental illness you never told me about?

And I'm not in treatment?

And they'll still remarry me?

Seriously, Goka?

Hmm. You're right.

So... okay, then...

Ah, here we go. You're an alcoholic.

So why is it

all these options put me at fault?

Because this whole thing was your idea.

Hold on just a second.

Suppose you were drunk

when you said your wedding vows.

Well, then you could've...

forgotten the wedding even happened.

Honestly, that's a good plan.

Goka, can't we talk to them

like normal people would?

Are you serious?

Yeah. Let's just sit down with them

and talk like adults.

Uh, all right.

SECOND INSTANCE

Please, come in.

Damn.

Praise be the Lord.

Forever and ever, amen.

Um, excuse me.

Um... where is, uh, Father Przemysaw?

Not here. He was transferred.

All right, let's get to the point,

then, uh, Jacek.

Of course, Father.

Tell me, why should we deem

your sacrament to be null and void?

Our sacrament should be deemed

null and void, sir,

as, in actuality,

we were divorced years ago.

And?

Magosia has a new husband now.

And I... well, have a new fiance.

Okay. And?

And...

-Magosia has a new husband.

-Well, I wouldn't say he's new.

We've been together

for 17 years.

Let me rephrase.

Why do you want to be remarried

with a church wedding?

Hmm. Well, to be totally honest with you,

I've grown up.

I've changed. I'm more mature now.

Why not just marry with your registrar?

Why bring the church into it again?

Aww, why the unkind tone, Father?

It's not even about me. It's about...

I apologize for the personal note,

but Monika's grandma is 94 years old.

-Pelagia, I mentioned her. -The short one.

-Mm-hmm.

And,

well, she's been dreaming of seeing

her granddaughter's white wedding.

Like any grandma would.

Unfortunately, her health is, you know,

on the decline and... and...

and we're not sure if she'll...

She donates weekly at Mass.

In hopes the wedding happens soon.

Hmm.

"Surprised by an unexpected... pregnancy."

I don't know what that means.

How can any pregnancy be a surprise?

The Virgin Mary?

Uh... Father Marian doubts

the strength of your arguments.

Mm...

I was drunk.

I didn't want to say it earlier,

um, but I was totally wasted,

boozing the whole day.

While at the altar. You know,

I mean, during Mass. During the service.

Well, that's a shocking twist, huh?

Did you just come up with that?

No. Why would I do that, Father?

I was... just ashamed to admit it.

-And... how drunk were you?

-Embarrassed...

-How drunk was I? Difficult to recall.

-Were you able to stand?

Yeah, sure. I could, um...

-So you were just tipsy.

-No, more than that.

-I was more than tipsy.

-Oh, that's right.

-I remember this, um...

-You know, there was a smell.

Yes, there was the smell of alcohol, yeah.

Honestly, I thought

it was from the priest.

-Goka, come on.

-Well, I'm sorry, but...

Oh, and the wedding ring.

He went for the wrong finger.

I did.

The priest was helping me tremendously.

He helped me put the ring on.

I mean, he... helped me do it.

-Well, he put it on the right finger.

-Right, he fixed my mistake.

At the time, I thought it was nerves.

-And actually...

-Gosia...

-You know what, Jacek?

-Please calm down.

I just can't believe you.

You're such a pig.

And a drunk.

-Drunk pig, yep.

-Gosia...

Ow!

We'll just check to be sure.

In the face, really?

He's got our wedding video.

Where did they get that?!

-What do you mean, where did they get it?

-Huh?

I gave it to them.

They asked for

any case-related things that could help,

so I gave them a copy.

You had it all this time? Really?

It's a keepsake.

I didn't know about Grandma Pelagia.

HDMI.

We're totally screwed.

Dear newlyweds, you have just...

Oh, look,

there's Father Czesaw.

...which has reminded you

of the dignity of human love and marriage.

And so, in the presence of the church,

I ask you to state your intentions.

Magorzata and Jacek,

have you come here freely

and without reservation

to give yourselves

to each other in marriage?

-There, I staggered.

-Yes. Yeah, clearly.

Where? I didn't see it.

...good times and in bad

till death do you part?

I'm sort of wobbling

to the left then right.

-Yeah.

-It's clear as day.

Oh, and that goofy smile.

Vodka-induced.

Uh-huh.

Oh. There it is again.

Can we skip ahead

to the blessing of the rings?

A little further.

Go on, go on, go on,

go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on.

Okay, there.

-Let us rise for the hymn.

-Louder, please.

Accept these rings as a sign

of the marital bond you have contracted.

Magosia.

Take this ring...

...as a symbol of my love and fidelity

in the name

of the Father,

and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit.

Are you serious?!

Jacek, take this ring

as a sign of my love and fidelity.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son...

What's next?

Next? Uh...

-I believe it's the wedding party.

-Turn it off.

Listen, my children.

I don't see any kind

of proof here that would

validate your argument.

Say again?

-So what are we gonna do now?

-Nothing. Go with God.

Excuse me.

Can I offer you a suggestion?

You may want help handling this.

-A lawyer?

-Mm-hmm.

Who understands

the intricacies of our system.

It's worth considering.

So it's not over yet?

Just be sure to mention

you were sent by Father Tomasz.

Can I offer either of you

something to drink?

Um. Yes, please.

-Sounds great...

-No, thank you.

-Okay.

-You must have a dachshund?

-A dachshund lover, eh?

-That's not what that is.

-Hmm.

-So you're in the process of...

A church divorce.

Declaring the nullification

of your marriage.

Right.

And are you interested

in a one-time consultation,

or to be represented

through the whole trial?

How about we start with a consultation

and see how it goes?

-Mm-hmm.

-Of course.

Please help us.

What do we need to have to get a divorce?

Uh, nullification

of marital relations, that is.

-Nullity of marital sacrament.

-Mm-hmm.

A good reason.

Well, we do have a good reason.

-It doesn't seem to matter.

-Yeah, really.

Ah, but I'm sure you know

some clever loopholes and tricks

that could make this whole process

quicker and easier.

Let's be very clear.

I am very religious,

and I'm certainly not here

to help you cheat the church.

But you are a lawyer,

are you not?

-An advocate of canon law.

-Of what, now? Whose laws?

Everything I present has to be done

in accordance with canon law.

Right, of course.

The trial only works here

if your statements are honest.

If that were truly the case,

we wouldn't need a lawyer.

Mm. Yes, that's just it.

I've already read your case file.

-Can I please ask a few questions?

-Yes.

-Are you an alcoholic?

-Yes.

No. You were.

I drink way less than I used to

because it used to be much more.

And how drunk were you at the wedding?

I mean, what's the definition of "drunk"?

Let's start with that.

Because the term is very fluid!

I don't know when a person starts,

you know, being drunk.

Let me rephrase.

Uh, is there any proof that you know of?

That you were drunk.

Well...

um...

no.

-Hmm.

-Our word isn't enough?

You have to understand.

It's too easy to get a divorce now.

If any sacrament could be made

null and void... as easy as that,

then what worth would any of them have?

Why would we even need the church?

That's a great question.

-Let me advise you on something.

-That's why we're here.

I would get someone

to corroborate your story.

Although they have to speak the truth.

-Uh-huh...

-And that will help us?

It will at least lend credibility

to your line of defense.

Because so far, I wouldn't

nullify anything.

-A witness.

-Mm-hmm.

Good thinking.

Thank you so much for your advice.

That'll be 950 zlotys.

How much?

Hmm.

Oh, Father Tomasz sent us.

Oh.

Give him my best regards, will you?

So, what, do you bet Father Tomek

is getting a nice cut from the lawyer?

Oh, I'm sure.

Wait. Hold on. Hold on.

-Thirty-six minutes in, do you see?

-Hang on.

-And?

-Isn't that a friend of yours?

Mine? No. Has to be your friend.

Never seen him before.

Is he one of your cousins?

Oh, you're right! That one is. Yeah.

Yeah, but we agreed

not to involve any family.

Okay. How about this guy?

This guy?

I know who that is! Mm...

The guy who smashed his head on the curb

and had to call an ambulance?

Jesus, that is him!

-Shots!

-My college buddy Piotrek.

You put it on your eyes. Right on there.

-Like that.

-No!

Here we go. Are you ready?

Give him a call!

He won't remember a thing.

He was drinking before the church.

Finally, some luck!

Right. He'll tell the truth

'cause he'll remember nothing.

Piotrek...

He's perfect, I think.

I love you guys,

and I'll never forget this wedding!

Perfect, isn't it?

We've got our man.

Here's to our success.

Now kiss! Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!

Hey.

You startled me.

Uh, are you hungry?

-Want me to order us some food?

-No, no. We... ate after practice.

We're looking for a witness

from the wedding to...

Never mind.

-Can you drop Ala off tomorrow at 11:00?

-Okay.

Wait, no.

I can't.

I've got this meeting with Jacek tomorrow.

Hmm. Okay.

His Facebook made it look like

he's living in his grandparents' house.

I think I went there once for some party.

-You were there.

-No.

That wasn't you?

Never mind.

Either way, Piotru will be there.

All will be good.

We'll see, I guess.

There he is!

Misia, Kasia!

-Eh!

-Long time no see!

Hiya, Piotru.

What's up, man?

Look at you. You lost weight!

-Hello there!

-Gosia.

Jacek.

Dude, you were at our wedding

back in 2000.

Oh, uh...

-"Ah..." Remember?

-Right?

-Don't pretend you forgot.

-Does ring a bell, kinda.

We were just driving, and I was like,

"Didn't Piotrek used to live around here?"

And I was right!

-So we thought we'd drop in to see you.

-Yeah.

Well, hi!

-Friendship never dies, right?

-Yeah...

You gotta admit, Piotru,

things have gone to the dogs, huh?

Oh, no, I don't drink anymore.

Oh, don't give me that.

Twelve years clean.

Not even a shot?

-Listen, Jacek and...

-Goka.

Goka. If you guys need your washer fixed,

I'll give you guys a great deal.

Piotru, we don't need that.

We need a divorce.

That's why I'm here,

'cause I need your help.

-Help with what?

-We need your help in court.

What? In court?

Hey, relax.

All you'd have to do is be honest.

Honest about what?

Well, what do you remember

from our wedding?

Well? Give it a shot.

-Not much. Um...

-I'll refresh your memory.

Do you remember

what you were offering people

in front of the church?

The homemade stuff.

-Ah!

-Eh?

-Ani...

-Anisette! Right?

-Anisette!

-That's it!

-I thought it was aronia.

-No, anisette.

God, just hearing that word

gives me the shakes.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what it was!

You know my late father

used to moonshine it?

He passed?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Ah, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, thanks. I thought I was

the only one who drank it. A liter.

-No, no.

-Yes, yes.

-He drank with you.

-Way too much. We all had too much.

-Yeah. Seriously.

-You, me, and your dad.

-Oh yeah, I did...

-Those were the days.

Uh, so why do you ask?

Well, Piotru,

you just have to repeat all that.

-In court.

-Repeat what?

Just that he was

heavily intoxicated at the wedding.

Just a sec. Uh, what kind of court is it?

Uh... just a regular church court.

I guess, like any other.

-Hang on.

-What?

-I'm not doing it.

-Seriously? Piotrek!

"Church court"?

Piotru!

Piotrek, my mom passed away.

What do I care?

You want me to lie to the church?

I'm f*cking reformed now.

To some of us,

sacraments still mean something!

-It's nothing like that, I promise.

-Then what?

Just be honest.

Just the truth,

that's all we're asking. We need you.

That would really mean a lot.

Goodbye.

Find yourselves some other sucker.

-Hey.

-Two thousand?

Oh, please.

Three!

-The potatoes are great. Next time.

-Yeah, okay.

They should make a TV show about you all.

-I didn't cook enough.

-Great catching-up.

-Talk soon, all right.

-Definitely!

-These look great. Thank you.

-That's a nice model...

-Bye girls.

-Right? An oldie but a goodie!

-See you soon.

-How many miles you got on her?

-Only 50,000.

-Nice. Good seeing you.

-Piotru.

-Mwah. Bye-bye.

What was that about people never changing?

Well... it's true.

-Is it?

-Mm-hmm.

And Piotru?

Oh, well, he's an exception.

Mm-hmm.

Relax, it gets checked weekly.

Hold on.

We're good.

-You'd better pull over.

-Ah f*ck!

-No, I wanna drive it like this.

-It's probably just the radiator.

-Pull over.

-Okay, fine.

I'll call Andrzej.

He'll come help.

I can manage.

"Andrzej."

Argh!

Oh damn.

Ow. Oh, you piece of sh*t!

Yeah.

So.

-Radio?

-No! Don't.

The battery will drain.

-Then it won't drive?

-Not even a little bit.

-Then we'll be stuck here forever.

-Okay, then I won't turn it on.

I remember now.

What?

Another time we drained the battery.

If only the car's movements

could've recharged the battery.

The car was bouncing

like it was in a rap video.

Oh, come on, please!

We were simply young and foolish,

and we wanted to do it anytime, anywhere.

That's just it though.

We were horny 24/7 when we were young.

That's beautiful.

-Yeah, I guess it was beautiful.

-You guess?

But you get older, and you'd rather do it

where there's more comfort.

For instance, Monika and I,

we're always doing it in the car.

Seriously?

Yeah, what?

Goka, tell me,

why I would lie about that? Please.

It's just... I don't get

why you would tell me in the first place.

-'Cause we were just talking about it.

-All right, and?

-What?

-It doesn't hurt your back?

-Well, yeah.

-Exactly, so...

"Exactly," yeah...

-What now?

-Nothing.

I guess some things

take years to understand.

Like what things?

Like the reason we ended things.

-Oh! Really?

-Yup.

It didn't take years.

I knew from the very start

that you were immature

and entirely self-centered.

-Irresponsible, constantly disappearing.

-Exactly.

-It's true.

-That's why.

-That's how it was.

-Uh-huh. Right, of course.

Why did we split up, then?

Just tell me, who in their right mind

expects a 20-year-old kid

to grow up overnight? Who?

Maybe the 20-year-old girl

having his child?

I didn't want kids.

I didn't want kids either.

And we had one. We have one!

And when you do have children,

you have to grow up just a little.

However, you wouldn't, so I had to.

And I was also only 20.

It wasn't that bad, Gosia.

Actually, it was, Jacek.

You remember, don't you?

I only remember

the best parts of it, Gosia.

And I'm not that guy anymore.

-This is what it's like, talking to you.

-Like what?

That's not what this is about.

No, no, really.

Jacek, I'm glad you've finally grown up.

I'm rooting for you.

Don't you get that it's about time?

If I had to guess,

it's your cylinder head.

Just what I thought.

The worst, right?

Actually, it's an easy fix.

But you flooded it, so you're stuck here.

I'll give you a ride.

You'll have to get it towed.

That was the plan.

Ilona is coming next Saturday.

-Oh?

-Yeah.

She wants us all

to meet her new boyfriend, Tomek.

It must be serious.

We're having a party, then, eh?

Mom, listen, uh, I'd like to quit.

Quit what?

The orchestra.

Seven years of work wasted,

but cool. For ping pong?

Mom, a gig at a train station? Seriously?

Not just at a train station.

It's the opening of a train station!

Don't you know

it's been there for 40 years?

They closed it two years ago,

and they're only reopening it

because of the elections or something.

GRANT REJECTION

Hey, don't you think

it's kind of interesting

that... something so ordinary...

...as nudity is normal

in one country in Europe,

but it's taboo in another?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, but it's also their religion.

You know all that stuff

is hard to argue, right?

Mm! Speaking of which,

Mom told me you guys are divorcing again?

-Yeah!

-And how's it going this time?

-Uh... pfft. It's going.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, it's going. We're trying to.

-Uh... it's going, yeah.

It's sorta going.

We're at the, uh, the second instance.

Uh, we, uh, we filed an appeal,

and now we're waiting for a decision

from someone at the Vatican.

-The Vatican?

-Mm-hmm.

-Wait, so now the pope's gonna weigh in?

-Uh-huh.

That'd be funny, right?

I guess you could say that. Sort of.

We'll see.

Honestly, we don't know

how it'll turn out. That's the truth.

Um, what are you talking about?

I mean, you don't know how it'll turn out?

How else could it turn out?

Well, I don't mean we don't.

I mean, we do know how it'll turn out.

We're just not sure when, so...

-I don't get it. "When"?

-Yeah.

Um, you know that, uh,

that Dad already booked everything

for September.

I mean, I told my family

not to go anywhere around then, Jacek.

-Monika, I'm just saying we're not sure.

-I seriously don't believe...

-However...

-Listen.

Obviously, we're doing

everything that we can.

-Right.

-We really are.

-And if it goes on till September?

-Okay, stop.

I gotta say,

it's pretty unorthodox in Poland to see...

well, such a blended family

sitting calmly at a table together.

But look how much we had to drink.

Your first and second daughters.

Father and mother.

Uh, um...

Hey there.

Don't forget the random guy

who's been responsibly raising Ilona

since she was seven.

Oh, so I guess

I'm the irresponsible one, then?

Your words, not mine.

-Bro, I taught her how to ride a bike.

-Yeah?

He did,

and I've still got a scar as proof.

Okay, but you can ride it now.

Okay, guys, can we just, uh...

Don't make me drink alone, guys.

Let's toast to being happy

and... partially responsible, right?

What's up? You wanna go home?

Listen...

-If you wanna go home, go.

-Let's head home.

-Okay.

-Straight home.

-I'll get it.

-I already said that.

-You did?

-Actually, can we split it?

No, tonight's my treat.

Please round it up, okay?

-I'm gonna hit the ladies' room.

-I'll come with.

Um, by the way, thanks.

For, uh...?

For giving us the divorce.

Ah.

Well, it's just, I feel like a lot of exes

would object out of spite.

-Yeah, probably.

-Right?

Yeah, you're right,

but we've been divorced almost 20 years.

I mean, I think it would be different

if only two years had gone by!

Yeah, well, I'm sure

the whole white wedding thing

might seem, like, silly and all.

-I guess we all have a dream.

-We sure do.

And I get to have mine come true

'cause of you, Gosia.

Well, if I was a good friend,

I'd tell you to run!

-From Jacek?

-That's right, Jacek.

He has no clue

what he's getting himself into.

I really like to hear that!

Yeah, she looked so cool. This is our cab.

-Awesome.

-We got this one.

-See ya.

-Bye.

Bye!

-Where's ours?

-Hey, don't shower.

-Yeah, we need one.

-I want you dirty tonight.

So, hey, guys,

Monika's got to work tonight.

-But we don't, do we?

-Should we do some bar-hopping, then?

Hopping, skipping, whatever,

as long as we have fun!

Get to know your future pops, right?

All right? Come on, let's do this.

-Gosia?

-Uh...

Oh, why don't I stay for a little?

Mm... What do you say? A bit longer, honey?

I wanna stay out too, Dad.

Get in the cab, okay?

-Right now. You have school.

-I don't have school.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-Bye.

See ya.

Okay, where to now?

-Um...

-There? There? There? There?

You've got it all wrong.

-Because she was...

-She was six years old, not seven.

And it was Barcelona!

Come on!

-Guys, I'm not sure.

-It's fine. Great place.

-Seriously?

-Ugh...

-Here we go.

-Where should we sit?

I don't know

how it is where you live.

-To the bar, right? Come on!

-Here, we let the person exiting go first.

I see you're on a diet, Dad.

Monika gets pissed when I eat red meat.

-There goes your diet.

-But you know me!

Excuse me, where is my drink?

-Oh, we'll go grab them. Let's go.

-Let's go.

-Wait a second.

-What are you doing?

-I gotta.

-Try to save me a bite.

I've gotta, I've gotta.

So how long do you give them?

Your dad?

Monika can handle it.

I talked with Ala. Apparently,

stuff's been kinda rough at home.

She's just being dramatic.

You know,

life and relationships can be difficult.

And Ala adds to that difficulty.

Well, maybe she wouldn't

if you'd try to cut her a little slack

every now and then.

I do. All the time.

If she wants to quit music class,

she can go ahead. It's her decision.

Yeah, but it's obvious

you're totally upset about it.

-Oh.

-And she is at a really tough age.

Yeah, I'm aware. I live with her,

so, yes, that's very apparent.

You did none of that.

Well, yeah.

I did everything you wanted me to.

Exactly right.

In hindsight, that might have not been

the healthiest solution.

-Don't say that.

-Hey, I'm just playing.

-Show a little empathy.

-You're an amazingly great mother.

-Oh.

-I mean it.

That's all you left?!

I'll talk to Andrzej. You need

some more meat in your life, I think.

-What happened with the drinks?

-We got little ones.

-Vodka is a drink.

-Yep. Straight vodka.

-Cheers, you guys.

-Seriously?

-All right.

-Mom.

Oh!

This piece of floor is mine!

So don't tell me what to do!

Remember this one?

This piece of floor is mine!

So don't tell me what to do!

Whoo!

This piece of floor is mine!

So don't tell me what to do!

Well... I just...

-You just what?

-I haven't gone out like this in forever.

-Would you cut that out? Stop smiling.

-That's pretty sad.

-Goka...

-I've got kids and everything, Jacek.

Life is too short.

You gotta live it to the fullest.

I'm aware.

-Oh?

-What are you proposing?

"What are you proposing?"

-What are you doing to me?

-Hey...

-Where are you going?

-What?

Dear, if I took you

into that back alley...

Yeah?

...we wouldn't even have to confess it.

Confess what?

It's not a sin with your spouse.

You're just the same as always.

Morning.

Hey.

A "thank you," perhaps?

Hmm...

Wait a sec, wait a sec. What's up?

-Nothing. Nothing.

-Wanna talk?

Actually, I'm booked for a ride.

-Don't you think it's important?

-Well, so's the ride.

Five minutes? You don't have five minutes?

Are you busy later or something?

Stuff with Jacek?

Andrzej...

Julka and Gabrysia are sick,

and Bruno's got food poisoning.

Yeah, and I think Jacek's,

uh, maybe out of town too.

Marek's

with his grandparents this week.

Uh, all right, let's tune up, guys.

-We're still practicing?

-Yes, we are, okay?

-A flat.

-Uh, just a second.

Do you have a moment?

What's going on here?

Look at the state of them!

Some of the kids are out sick.

What can I do about it?

They're fine all year,

and all of a sudden, they're all sick?

All of this started with your daughter.

So I got a call about the, uh,

the opening for that train station.

They're asking if they should

hire an army band, since we shrunk.

-How do they even know we shrunk?

-That's beside the point.

Well, anyway, I heard

that the station's been running for years.

So? What does that matter?

It's closing for the opening!

So I need you to get this sorted,

or I'll have to find someone who will.

-Oh, hey, I didn't realize you were home.

-Does it make a difference?

Ala.

Can I say something?

-Do whatever you want.

-Please just listen to me for a second.

I just want you to know that I'm going

to respect whatever decision you make.

All I'm asking is that you...

you sit down

and think it over calmly one more time.

Don't make your choice out of spite.

I mean, don't make it about me, or...

or that awful factory gig.

Think about yourself and no one else.

I'd just hate for you

to have regrets later on

that you quit clarinet

after seven years of hard work...

...because you and I were having,

y'know, a rough moment.

-Okay?

-Okay.

Thank you.

You know that Dad

didn't receive the grant?

No.

Yeah, he got a refusal letter.

I don't think he wanted you to know.

You know, I think

that Dad really needs you right now.

THIRD INSTANCE

God bless.

God bless.

Bless you.

We're connected. We'll begin soon.

Connected to what?

We'll be conferencing

with Father Giuseppe in the Vatican.

Look, look, look.

Please bring in the witness.

Witness?

Czesaw.

Thank you for coming

from such a distant corner of our country.

Firstly, do you recognize

these two people, Father?

-God bless.

-God bless.

-Of course I do.

-When did you meet them?

May 31, 2000.

When I united them

in holy matrimony

at Saint Florian's church.

Was there anything

you found suspicious that day?

Anything that might give reason

to invalidate the sacrament?

No.

Were you not... under the impression

that one of the newlyweds,

during the ceremony,

was visibly

under the influence of alcohol?

I mean... did you detect a smell?

Such a condition would in fact qualify

as grounds for challenging the marriage.

Absolutely not.

I see. Very well.

And finally, Father Czesaw,

both spouses suggest

that Mr. Jacek was initially intending

to place the wedding ring

of Ms. Magorzata

on the wrong finger.

However, at that point,

you intervened and directed the groom

to the correct finger.

Is that true?

No, it is not. Not in the slightest.

I watched as the groom immediately

placed the bride's wedding ring

on the correct finger.

Thank you, Father.

I have no further questions.

Actually, I've got a question.

Excuse me?

Yes, I've got one question,

uh, to ask Father Czesaw.

I think I'm allowed.

You know, as a party in these proceedings.

Please.

Uh... let's see.

September 21st in 2001...

Yeah, 2001.

Remember that day, Father?

Ah, please, um...

If you'd refresh my memory.

Well, that's when

our daughter Ilona was baptized.

Oh, of course.

And, um,

there was this moment when

I had put Ilona, you know...

in your arms and she was crying.

And...

Yes, well, it was a few moments

before she calmed down after the rites,

but, uh, well, you know, it's not unusual.

-Mm-hmm.

-Um...

I don't understand what your point is.

Uh, it's that...

we actually baptized Ilona in Bydgoszcz.

In Jacek's, uh, family parish.

So you're lying, Father.

You're lying through your teeth.

I challenge this witness' credibility.

And, um, we demand

that you retract his entire testimony.

Uh...

We'll have to ask for, uh,

a bit of extra time

in order to deliberate

on our next, uh, steps.

-I propose we postpone the hearing.

-No!

You're not gonna postpone a thing!

Sorry, but I've had enough.

You're not postponing anything.

I refuse to wait any longer for this!

Look, the truth is I wasn't drunk.

I was only 20 years old.

I was foolish and young.

And the church and my folks

ordered us to walk down the aisle.

Marry each other.

And swear vows eternally to each other.

That's sickening.

Let's be honest.

If I was drunk,

I'd have sobered up and left the next day.

Instead, it took me seven years

to know I had to leave her.

Yes, seven years

to realize that this wonderful woman

needed someone else,

who would be able

to take care of her, and... and...

and who would treat her properly

and be there!

Because I never was.

And for that, I am very sorry.

We were 20 years old.

Twenty years old!

I was immature.

Is that different now? I don't know.

But I want a wedding,

in the church, with the woman I love.

And what do you wanna do?

What do you want?

You want to have us hanged?

I'm over lying to win this.

You understand?

I'm sorry I lost my temper.

Very well.

I think that's enough for today.

We've learned all that we needed to.

Please await

the final verdict. It'll come by mail.

All right.

Unless Father Giuseppe has

any other questions he'd like to ask?

"Excuse me. The connection froze."

"Did I miss something?"

This whole thing's absolutely absurd.

I gotta run. I'm late for this thing.

Ugh, f*cking hell. You need a ride?

No. At this point,

it'll be faster to walk.

-But...

-Okay, see ya.

-Hold on a sec, Goka. Hang on.

-What?

Thanks, all right?

Seriously, thank you.

Don't thank me just yet.

We don't know what the...

I know, but thank you

for being here with me,

so we could go through this together and...

...I'm really grateful for everything.

You're welcome.

And I'm grateful to you too.

I think it was, um,

worth it to be reminded

why we fell in love.

Hey, best of luck at the concert!

Ma'am, aren't you running late?

Yes, I'm terribly sorry,

but we can head out.

Ah. Thank you all.

Such a warm welcome.

Yeah, I guess I deserve it, don't I?

Is this the right direction?

According to the GPS, it is.

Couldn't we have taken the highway?

I'm following the directions.

How far is it?

-About... a kilometer and a half.

-Ah.

And it's 12 minutes.

For one kilometer?

Could you maybe

just kinda step on it a little?

Ma'am, if I try to step on it

on this road...

What happened?

Let's go find out.

-See that? Now we've got a flat.

-Now what?

-I'll call roadside assistance.

-How long will that take?

It'll definitely take

more than 12 minutes.

Okay, listen up. Everyone grab

your instruments. We're walking.

We all know

the importance of the railroad.

I am certain... that this investment,

which was able to be completed

thanks to the ministry's funds,

will contribute to the further development

of this municipality,

as well as the province

and the whole region in its entirety.

Listen, where the hell are you guys?

They're going to have a priest

give a blessing, then you're next!

I need you to call me now!

Are we even going the right way?

Well, fingers crossed.

Move aside for that tractor, guys.

Move over.

Hello, sir.

Can you please tell us where

the train station opening's going on?

-An opening? I don't know about that.

-Yeah.

There's a train station there,

but it's open already.

Is it far?

Roughly two kilometers.

Thank you kindly, Minister.

We would now like to ask the bishop

if he would ceremoniously blast...

er, bless the railroad tracks,

so we can ensure

they will serve all the residents

and the guests who may

come visit the city of Soroczyce.

Okay, kids.

Here's what's up.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the formalities are over,

and it's time for the musical performance.

Or it looks like we might...

...have a change of plans here.

With that, let's move on to,

uh, the formal ribbon-cutting.

Thank you.

Ala!

Um, do you think you could, uh,

ride back with the band?

I'd like to chat with your dad.

Bye-bye, thanks.

See ya.

Hi.

Hi.

Thankfully, you have great reflexes.

In general, you're...

you're great.

And it's really great

that you're always so patient with me.

And you're so understanding.

I don't have to explain anything.

And everything's just so much easier...

with you here.

And I'm a great cook.

And you're a great cook

on top of all that.

And...

and all of that is...

all of that is,

like, a really big turn-on, Andrzej.

So, I mean, if you...

...if you wanted to, um...

Stop talking.

Mm.

THE VERDICDearly beloved.

We're gathered today to join

the two parties we have here,

Jacek and Monika, in holy matrimony.

With an eternal bond...

that shall not break.