02x14 - #TheMinus

[bunniefuu]

♪ Whoo! ♪
[theme song playing]

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side ♪

♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow! ♪

At the risk of sounding
like a pawn

to the education-industrial
complex, I have to admit...

I love report card day!

If my GPA is up this term,

Jeremiah will finally
let me have my car back.

[shudders] Let's see.
"D-Minus"?

Guess who's
back on the road!

"B". "A".

"B!" Oh, my gosh,
it's finally happening.

An "S" for satisfactory
in test prep!

My grades spell "Babs"!

Diana, is everything okay?

Oh, yes. It is just that there is
an unusual symbol next to one of my "A's".

- Perhaps it is a smudge.
- That is a minus.

[Zatanna] You got an "A-minus".

Uh, me-noose?

You know,
like not quite an "A".

But better than
a "B" plus.

But I have always achieved
straight "A's".

Clearly, a misunderstanding
has transpired.

A misunderstanding
that shall be rectified immediately!

- [door closes]
- [muffled speaking]

[Diana crying]

It appears this
me-noose is legitimate.

Now, if you
will excuse me,

I have some "totally not related to the me-noose"
business to attend to.

- Diana, that's the...
- Uh-uh, she probably wants some alone time.

[Diana grunts]

You know,
to vent a little.

- [Diana grunting]
- A lot. Give her a sec.

[Diana grunting]

Getting it out
of her system is all.

- See?
- [Diana shouts]

[whimpering] Maybe give her
just one more second.

Is she still breathing?
Someone should check.

Yeah, she hasn't moved from that couch in five days
to even brush her teeth.

I'm not going anywhere
near where she breathes.

Well, one thing's for sure.
It's on us to cheer her up.

Whenever I am
feeling down,

I find it helpful
to re-center and refocus.

[inhales deeply]
Breathe in the outer peace,

[exhales]
and breathe out the inner chaos.

You try.

- [sighs]
- [fly buzzes]

[Kara grunts]

Oh, yeah! See that?

Punching stuff just
makes you feel better.

Come on,
let me show you.

[party horn blowing]

I call this my party hat!

Because wherever you go,
the party is at!

Nothing like a little
makeover magic to put a smile on your face.

[tears flowing]

Eh, this isn't working.

We're not addressing
the real problem.

The reason Diana
got that minus

is because she's spread
way too thin.

See, Diana,
on Themyscira,

you only had to focus
on being a warrior and a princess.

But now you're also
a superhero, a student, a team leader...

and, well actually, here,
I made this chart.

[all] Wow!

Oh, hold on...

Soup kitchens,
volunteer tutoring.

Wait, you've been giving
our dogs baths?

That's why Krypto
stopped smelling like sardines.

Thank you, Karen.
This presentation has been most enlightening.

And with Zeus as my witness,
I swear to never again spread myself thin.

I'm so glad to hear that.
Now you...

Because from this day forward,
I shall only spread myself thicker.

You shall what now?

[Diana] Karen is right.

I cannot let a single,
yet unforgivably reprehensible, transgression

like a me-noose keep me
from fulfilling my responsibilities.

And now that she
has streamlined each of my duties for me,

I am sure to never again
reek of failure.

N... no. Diana.

My chart is supposed
to show you that you're maxed out.

Not for long.

I must write
to Themyscira at once.

[mimicking crowing]

Uh, you're not sending away
for a magical shell or anything, right?

Magical shell?

- Oh, do not be silly.
- [hawk screeching]

I have requested
the Mystical Fruit of Hermes.

You see, when an Amazon
prepares for w*r,

she eats a sacred fruit
that grants her boundless energy.

And now I shall once again
call upon its strength.

[chews loudly]

Can't forget my to-do list.

It's not a to-do list.
[groans]

And now giving the rebuttal
from Metropolis High School, Diana Prince.

In closing,
I will simply say this...

if we ever hope to grow
as a society,

we must put ego aside
and accept this immutable truth...

pineapple has no place
on a pizza pie.

[crowd cheering]

Uh, Diana?

Did Science Club really need
to meet on the debate stage?

Yes. Oh, and next week
we meet during Gymnastics Regionals,

so be sure
to bring your leotards.

[upbeat music playing]

[grunting]

[buzzer sounds]

[all cheering]

[chomping]

- [all screaming]
- [robot growls]

All right.
Let's get to smash...

[grunting]

[screams]

Come on, guys.
We don't want to let our heart rates drop.

[muffled music playing]

[water splashing]

- [dog barking]
- [camera shutter clicks]

[Diana grunting]
Eight, nine, two, two, five, six.

Uh, Diana, you busy?

[barbell thuds]

No, no. I'm just
squeezing in a few reps

while brushing up on Neruda
and reciting pi to its hundredth place.

So, uh, I couldn't help
but notice

you've been acting
different lately.

Indeed, I have.

Thanks to your chart,
I have never been so productive.

Uh...

In fact, I've nearly forgotten
all about this shameful

and indelible indignity
left behind by a contemptible me-noose.

About that...

You know, a lot of people
would be proud of an "A-minus".

As well they should be.

But I must hold myself
to a higher standard.

Why?

Why? Well, you see,
because I...

Time for squat cross,
Shakespeare,

and the recitation
of the periodic table of elements.

One, H, hydrogen.

Guys, I'm really worried
about Diana.

Me too.
She is in a total overdrive.

Don't worry.
I got a plan to get our Diana back.

- [sundae smashing]
- We trash these things.

Hmm. Are we sure
that's the answer?

These look harmless
and kind of delicious.

Uh, Babs,
I wouldn't eat...

[chomps]

Babs? Are we okay?

Okay? Yes. Very okay.

Are you guys okay?

After all, I'm sitting here
watching you bounce all over,

unless, of course,
you're sitting over there

and I'm bouncing
all over...

which come to think of it,
makes way more sense!

The fruit's not
the problem, guys.

[Barbara whooping]

Well, not the
whole problem.

We need
to get rid of that chart.

Of course.
That makes total sense.

Diana is subconsciously using the chart
as a way to keep her mind preoccupied

in order to avoid having to think about her
self-perceived failure.

The "A-minus" or me-noose,
as she so adorably puts it,

it's a classic denial tactic.

Side note, the "A" in Babs
on my report card was in Psychology!

Wazzup!

[Zatanna] Uh, Babs, honey,
you can come down now.

Okay, so here's
the plan.

We swipe Karen's stupid to-do list

while Diana's not looking.

Kara, Diana's the most
rational among us.

If we share
our concerns with her

with both love and respect,

I'm sure she'll hand over
the chart willingly.

I will hand over
no such thing!

[hissing]

Okay, she's a bit more
obstinate than I thought,

but there's
one technique...

Quick. Karen, swipe your stupid to-do list
while she's not looking.

[grunts]

I have no time
for such games!

[Supergirl grunting]

So, first off, sorry about this.
Quick question.

Does eating the fruit
always leave this weird aftertaste?

It's like something in between
smoked hickory, the color mauve and time itself.

Give me what
is rightfully mine!

You can have it back
if you can figure out which one it is.

[chanting spell]

I am so taking that spell
out of the rotation.

Really didn't
want to do this.

[growls]

[screams]

[Bumblebee]
Supergirl, over here!

This has gone
on long enough, Karen.

Diana, I'm sorry.

I thought this chart
would help you see

that in the big picture
getting a dumb minus isn't a big deal.

I mean, look at
what you're doing to yourself,

to us, and why?

Because you can't accept
that something you did wasn't perfect?

You know, since we met,
I've made a lot of mistakes.

But you're always the first
to tell me that it's okay.

Now, after all this,
I finally realized

that no one has ever said
the same is okay for you.

So I'm doing
it right now.

Diana, it's okay
not to be perfect.

Because no matter what,
you're still an amazing hero,

leader, student
and, most importantly, friend.

Thank you, Karen.

I think you know
what to do with this.

Thank you, sisters.

Never again shall I let
any me-noose come in between us.

Uh, girls?
Any chance we could move this

end-of-a-hard-learned-lesson
hug a few feet upwind?

[yelps]

[barks]