02x09 - #TheGreenRoom

[bunniefuu]

♪ Whoo! ♪
[theme song playing]

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side ♪

♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow! ♪

This disciplinary hearing

is to determine
whether or not Jessica Cruz

is in violation
of Green Lantern Code

three dot four dot eight-zero,
Article V.

This alien menace
went on a rampage in Metropolis

that threatened
thousands of lives.

Yet, despite being
on the scene,

Officer Cruz refused to attack.

Jessica Cruz, how do you plead?

Look, kid, I know
pacifism is your thing,

but you could lose
your ring here.

Just admit you messed up and throw
yourself on the court's mercy.

I don't need to plead.

I've already
absolved myself with this.

- Have you read it?
- Uh, yeah. Of course I have.

I found it quite,
uh, wordful.

I object!

- Hal! What are you doing here?
- Saving your bacon.

Trust me, Jess. I've been through a
ton of these disciplinary hearings.

And lucky for you,

I've learned that a Lantern
is entitled to a peer advocate.

Huh? So I signed up. What do
you know, you approved it.

You spelled my name wrong.

No. You spelled
your name wrong.

Oh, yeah, I forgot
the silent "P", didn't I?

Look, come on, Jess.
You heard Kilowog.

Your ring is just take here. Can
you imagine life without it?

How would you rescue
a kitten in a tree

or hail a taxi
or open a can of soup?

A ladder, taxi app, can opener.

But I'm not worried
about losing my ring

because everything
is in my report.

I have faith in the system
and I shall be exonerated.

At least let me stay
for moral support.

Fine. Just sit here
and stay quiet.

Jessica, I won't say a word.

- Let us begin.
- Objection!

- Immaterial.
- Overruled!

You're overruling
your own lawyer?

- I just want him to be quiet.
- [Kilowog sighs]

As stated, Officer Cruz's
failure to act

allowed this creature's sonic
blast to nearly destroy the city.

Circumstantial hearsay!

- Why are you speaking?
- Relax.

I'm calling your bluff.

Your Honorettes,
I am just a simple man.

A man who deals
in simple truths.

Ugh. He's half right.

But isn't that
why we're here, the truth?

Now, while I respect Kilowog,

let the record show that he was not
even present during said event.

In fact, Mr. Kilowog,

did you or did you not actually
see Officer Cruz not do

or not-not do anything
to not prevent

or not-not prevent
this alleged disaster?

I don't know
how to answer that.

Aha! So, you have no proof

that any of these damages were a direct
result of Green Lantern's negligence.

Exhibit A.

We saw everything

and it was a direct result
of Green Lantern's negligence.

- [spits]
- This is why I said to be quiet!

So, uh, how do we feel
about a plea bargain?

Absolutely not!

I have done nothing wrong.

If everyone could just turn
to page 389,

subsection G, paragraph 98...

Your report, I know.
Don't worry, don't worry.

- I call my first witness, Kara Zor-El.
- [screams]

The old space hippo really
stepped in it this time.

He's putting your BFF
on the stand. Ha.

But I already have Kara's official
statement written in here.

My witness!

I'm supposed to say
"your witness" when I'm done.

But based on
your performance so far,

have at it.

Hey there, Kara,
looking super today.

You wanna tell me what the
heck is going on, Harold?

I was front row
at a concert.

Okay, I'll make this quick.

Were you present last Tuesday

when an alleged monster
destroyed Metropolis?

Oh, oh, I was there.

That monster and its big mouth
were tearing the city apart.

I was ready to knock
that bad boy into next week.

But just as I was about to deliver
the old Supergirl special...

- Wait.
- [grunts] ...I smack into one of Green Lantern's walls.

[spits]

I still can't get the mackerel
stink out of my cape.

And what happened next?

Next? Jerky-Mc-Screams-a-lot
totals the city's metrobelisk

which ticked me off even more

'cause it's like the only
monument in Metropolis

that doesn't honor
that lamoid Superman.

So you could have stopped this thing
if not for Green Lantern's actions.

If you would just
read the report...

Come on, kid. I know you
don't agree with this trial,

but it's not too late
to change your plea.

You don't want
to lose your ring over this.

Wait. Wh-wha... No.

Jess could lose her ring?

No, I-I didn't mean to...
[screams]

Officer Jordan, do you have any
response to this most recent testimony?

Yes, I do. This actually
just proves my case.

If the mighty Supergirl couldn't
stop this monster, no one could.

Therefore, aggressive or not,

Jessica would have not been able to stop
the beast or prevented the damages.

Next witness, Hawkman.

Hawkman, what do you remember
about the events of last Tuesday?

[Hawkman] I heard alarms,
got there,

saw the thing, pounded it.

Thing flew off scared.

It's that simple.

Had Officer Cruz
been aggressive,

this disaster
could have been avoided.

The prosecution rests.

Very well. Then, we shall
adjourn to deliberate.

Unless Officer Cruz
has anything to add.

Finally. Yes, I have
much to add.

Stated here is everything you need to know.
[clears throat]

"Foreword,
The Heroism In Pacifism."

- "Ever since I was a little girl... "
- Huh?

Come on, Jess,
we're getting k*lled!

Nobody reads these things!

Hal, think, Hal, think.

I call a surprise witness!

Uh, Garth.

Garth?

- Surprise.
- Huh?

Garth, you were there last Tuesday at
the sonic beast incident, were you not?

Oh, no. I had a podiatrist
appointment on Tues...

[sneezes]

"Keep cool, kid,
and just read this.

I, an upstanding citizen,
was there Tuesday

and I witnessed... PJessica?"

The "P" is silent.

"...Jessica Cruz pummel
a giant beast mercilessly.

Thanks, kid, I'll sneeze you
ten bucks in a sec."

What are you doing?

This foolishness
is going to cost me my ring.

No, your blind belief in the system
is gonna cost you your ring.

Look, I may have
made some mistakes.

But do you actually think those
eggheads are going to read this thing?

I'm sorry, Hal, you're fired.

- [gasps]
- We shall now adjourn to deliberate.

Stupid report.
This is all your fault.

[grunts]

[toy duck squeaks]

[sighs]

Huh? [gasps]

After careful deliberation, we
are ready to issue our ruling.

Before you issue anything,
I must ask,

did you read my report?

Mmm... Of course, we did.

We found it quite wordful.

Hal was right.

However, this tribunal
finds you gui...

Hold. The defense un-rests.

Unresting is not a thing.

I'm pretty sure it is because I
had to un-fire myself to do it.

I demand to call
one more witness.

Officer Jordan, you have made
a mockery of this tribunal.

And frankly, we now question your
judgment as a Lantern in general.

Therefore, we shall
grant this witness.

However, if we still find
Officer Cruz guilty,

we will revoke
both her ring and yours.

- Hal, don't!
- I accept.

And I call to the stand
Kongulon the Getalor.

[screaming]

[sonic waves blaring]

Kongulon, your collar.

[sweet female voice]
I do beg your pardon.

I am constantly forgetting to
activate this universal translator.

Imagine my embarrassment
last Tuesday

when I forgot it altogether
and left it home.

On my home planet,

I am an officer
of the law as well.

I just received a tip

that a juvenile prankster

planted a world-destroying b*mb
on Earth,

in a city
known as Metropolis.

World-destroying?
[chuckles softly] Some prank.

We Getalorpians have a
different perception of time.

Actually, in your time, this b*mb
was planted millions of years ago

when Earth
was but a rock in space.

I'd liken the social hijinks
to the Earthling-used ritual

of putting firecrackers
in a mailbox.

Go on.

Prank or not, I had only a few Earth
moments before the b*mb exploded.

In my haste,
I left my translator at home.

So any attempts to summon help
became rather... devastating.

So you were just
trying to warn us?

Indeed.

And Officer Cruz, you were...

Using the translator on my ring
to communicate.

Together we figured out that the b*mb
was buried beneath the metrobelisk.

Point of fact, I was
en route to Metrobelisk

when that brutal
Kryptonian intercepted me.

But fortunately,
Green Lantern intervened.

[sonic waves blaring]

[Supergirl grunts]

This allowed me time
to extract the b*mb.

Unfortunately, that's when a winged
buffoon began to as*ault me.

- [bang]
- [thuds]

Time scarce, I feigned injury,

and with the help
of Officer Cruz,

I was able to abscond away
with the expl*sive

and detonate it
in the safety of space.

[explodes]

So if I had used my fists instead
of my mind, Earth would be no more.

In fact,
it's all in her report,

which, by the way,
was a fascinating read.

Officer Cruz, in light
of this testimony, we...

You'll find me not guilty,
read all officers' reports

before passing judgment
and rethink your policy

on violence being
the only solution.

[sighs] Fine.

But don't tell the Blue Lanterns,
or I'll never hear the end of it.

I'll write up a report
for your new policy

that's so long they won't
get through the title.

You were right.
They didn't read it.

But then, how did you know
to call Kongulon?

Simple. I read your report.

Well, I skipped
to the last page.

Hal, thanks
for being there for me.

Ah, come on. We're friends.

Hal Jordan never leaves
a friend hanging.

Hello? Can someone
give me a ride home?