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02x06 - Rupert and the BIGsmall Machine

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Rupert". Aired: 7 September 1991 – 19 June 1997.*
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Rupert is a very intelligent and witty bear, and he has many friends from every corner of the world.

02x06 - Rupert and the BIGsmall Machine

Post by bunniefuu »



(Giggling)

Yahoo!

Whee!



(Thunder crashing)

What a way to start a

holiday.

I love the sound of the rain

at night.

It’s so restful!

I couldn’t agree more, dear.

After all, that’s what holidays

in Sandy Cove are all about!

Rest and relaxation.

Your move, Rupert.

Hmm.

It looks as if it’s never

going to stop raining.

I’m sure tomorrow will be

bright and sunny, Rupert.

I hope so.

(Thunder crashing)

Wow!

Oh, my!

(Thunder crashing)

(Rupert gasping)

Look!

What is it, Rupert?

There’s a plane out there,

and it looks as if it was going

to crash!

A plane?

In this weather?

I don’t see anything.

(Thunder crashing)

There!

(Mr. Bear laughing)

What’s going on?

Well, it would appear that

the pilot was able to make an

emergency landing... right on

that lampshade over there.

(Thunder crashing)

(Rupert giggling)

But it looked so real.

I should have known better.

Nothing ever happens in Sandy

Cove.

Which is precisely why I like

it here.

Aha!

Ha, ha, your move, Son.

Oh, I suppose that’s game!

I suppose it is.

(Seagulls cawing)

Listen to this, Rupert.

"Things to do in Sandy Cove."

This morning, there’s an

exhibition of driftwood art at

the Village Hall.

Driftwood art?

The Ladies Auxiliary is

holding a woollen and baked

goods sale.

Oh, it’s opening day at the

Seaweed Museum!

Seaweed Museum?

It says here there are

different varieties of seaweed

found in this area.

Well, that settles it.

We’ll go to the Seaweed Museum

first.

Actually, Dad, I think I’d

rather go beachcombing, if

that’s all right.

You go right ahead, Rupert.

You can meet up with us later if

you want to.

You’d better take the paper

so you’ll know where to find us,

Son.

I’ve marked out the entire day's

itinerary.

Thanks, Dad.

Bye!

MR. BEARAnd Rupert, keep

your eyes open for seaweed!

You never know.

He might discover a brand-new

variety, the th variety!

Wouldn’t that be something?

Yes, dear, that certainly

would be something.

Strange, it’s metal!

And it’s such a bright yellow.

Seaweed?

Hey!

(Giggling)


It’s "grayus velitus."

Around here, we just call it

green velvet.

It’s one of different

varieties of seaweed found in

this area.

(Chuckling)

So I’ve heard!

Is this the only kind that hits

you in the head, or do I have to

watch out for the other

varieties, as well?

(Giggling)

Sorry about that.

I didn’t mean to hit you.

I was just looking for something

to do.

You know what they say.

BOTHNothing ever happens in

Sandy Cove.

(Giggling)

I’m Frances.

I’m Rupert.

You’re lucky, Rupert.

You’re a tourist.

You can go home soon and have

some fun.

How do you know I’m a

tourist?

I mean, does it show?

"Things to do in Sandy Cove."

(Giggling)

The driftwood art exhibit.

The opening day of the

Seaweed Museum.

A walking tour of the local

rock gardens.

A golden age lawn-bowling

tournament!

A-- major jewel theft!

A major jewel theft?

It doesn’t say that here.

Look!

"The Tiger’s Eye, a priceless

ruby the size of a tennis ball

was stolen yesterday from the

National Museum."

"The daring theft is thought

to be the work of the infamous

jewel thief known as the

Chameleon."

"Scotland Yard’s top agents

are on his trail.

Some think the thief made his

escape in a small plane."

I thought I saw a plane last

night, in the storm!

My dad said it was just a

reflection, but--

What?

No one would fly in that

weather!

Unless he was making an escape!

There’s something else.

The plane looked as if it was

going down.

That means the Chameleon

might be right here in Sandy

Cove!

Yes!

There’s only thing wrong with

that theory, Rupert.

What’s that?

Nothing ever happens in Sandy

Cove, and certainly nothing that

exciting.

Oh, right.

But it can’t hurt just to

look around a bit for suspicious

characters.

Heh, heh, okay!

Besides, anything’s got to be

more exciting than seaweed.

This seaweed is simply

fascinating!

"Grayus velitus."

That means green velvet.

Poor Rupert, he doesn’t know

what he’s missing.

How many varieties did you

say?

Aha!

There’s a suspicious character

if I ever saw one.

Look at that coat!

That’s a very suspicious-looking

coat.

Don’t you agree, Inspector?

Very suspicious indeed,

Inspector.


But wait!

Look over there.

I think that character is even

more suspicious.

He has a walking stick!

Ah, yes.

There’s nothing more suspicious

than a walking stick, except a

hat!

Only an incredibly suspicious

character would wear a hat like

that.

Inspector, I think we’ve found

the Chameleon.

(Rupert chuckling)

There’s only one problem with

your theory, Inspector.

What?

That’s not the Chameleon!

That’s my dad!

(Rupert laughing)

But you must admit, it is a

suspicious-looking hat!

Very suspicious indeed,

Inspector!

FRANCESI think we’ve really

found him this time!

Yes, he has a coat!

And a hat!

And a walking stick.

All three necessary features

of--

BOTHA very suspicious

character!

What’s he looking for?

Something suspicious, I’ll

wager.

Something yellow!

(Gasping)

He’s seen us!

FRANCESWhere did he go?

I don’t know.

He just disappeared.

Hello!

(Gasping)

Oh, I’m so sorry.

Did I startle you?

Of course not!

It’s probably just an old

fox’s mind playing tricks on

him, but were you two by any

chance following me just now?

Well, we were just kind of

playing a game.

We were pretending we were

Scotland Yard inspectors.

Oh, my!

Well, the way you two had me

under surveillance, I might have

believed you were from Scotland

Yard!

Really?

Oh, yes, most definitely.

We’re very sorry if we

bothered you, sir.

Not at all!

And my name is Nigel.

I’m Frances, and this is

Rupert.

It certainly is a pleasure to

meet you.

I’d love to stay and chat for a

while, but I must be off.

In any event, I wouldn’t want to

get in the way of your detective

work.

Goodbye, then!

BOTHGoodbye!

(Giggling)

I think I’ve had enough of

looking for suspicious

characters.

(Laughing)

Me too!

But what can we do now?

Well, the tide’s still out.

So?

So, let’s go!

But where are we going?

The old lighthouse!

The old lighthouse has been

abandoned for years.

There’s a cave, and all sorts of

passages and tunnels we can

explore.

That sounds exciting!

Perhaps, but believe me,

nothing ever happens there

either!

(Both laughing)


Boss, it looks as though we

have a couple of uninvited

guests!

(Snickering)

Yes, we must take care of

them!

The tunnels are over this

way!

(Gasping)

RUPERTThis way!

Is that the plane you saw

last night?

I’m certain of it!

It looks as if it’s been hit by

lightning, and this piece of

metal I found on the beach

matches it.

This could be the Chameleon’s

plane!

Frances, we’ve got to tell the

police!

I don’t think that's a very

good idea.

Who-- who are you?

Who is he?

Heh, heh!

He is the infamous Comedian!

BOTHComedian?

I mean, heh, Chameleon!

Heh, heh, sorry, Boss.

Ugh!

Good throw!

Heh, heh!

Now you catch!

Whoa, ugh!

Come on, Rupert!

Hey!

After them!

FRANCESThis way!

(Splashing)

HENCHMAN #Get them!

Here they are, Boss!

Heh, heh, I’ve got you!

(Frances screaming)

Heh, heh!

(Bird cawing)

Shoo!

Ahh!

Ugh!

(Rupert gasping)

Oh, no!

The tide’s come in!

We’re trapped!

Heh, heh!

Now we’ve got them, Boss!

Uh-oh!

NIGELHello!

Nigel!

Are we glad to see you!

Well, it’s certainly nice to

be appreciated.

What were you two doing out

here?

It’s a long story.

But first, let’s get out of

here!

FRANCESWe found a sea plane

inside the cave, and then two

men tried to capture us!

Yes, one’s short and fat, and

one’s tall and skinny.

And one is the Chameleon!

The Chameleon?

He’s an infamous jewel thief.

(Laughing)

Well, I see we’re still

playing detectives.

We’re not playing!

The Chameleon stole the Tiger’s

Eye, but then his plane went

down in the storm!

I saw it last night from my

window, and then today I found a

piece of the plane on the beach

just like...

Go on, Rupert.

Just like the piece you

picked up.

So, what were you doing out

here, Nigel?

Oh, I was fishing!

When I saw you and Frances on

Lighthouse Rock, I thought you

might be stranded.

But you don’t have any

fishing gear.

No fishing rod, no tackle box,

no-- no worms!

You two really are very

clever, aren’t you?


Who are you, really?

Scotland Yard!

You’re a special agent!

years next month!

They want me to retire, but I

can’t go just yet.

Why not?

You certainly must be old

enough.

Uh, I mean...

Well, I’m old enough, all

right, but I can’t go until I've

solved just one last case.

The Chameleon!

Exactly.

I’ve been on his trail for over

years!

I’ve come close to capturing him

many times, but he’s always

slipped out of my grasp.

But he’ll not escape me this

time!

That is, if I can get a little

help from you two.

BOTHFrom us?

Yes, as you might imagine, I

don’t get around as quickly as I

used to.

(Bones cracking)

You two are young and fast.

Will you help me catch the

Chameleon?

BOTHOf course!

Marvellous!

But you mustn’t whisper a word

of this to anyone.

Not a soul!

BOTHWe promise!

Now, the operation will begin

at midnight.

Here’s what I want you to do.

There it is!

NIGELAre you sure you know

what to do?

We wait here until we see a

signal.

That’ll be from two more

Scotland Yard agents who are

backing us up.

Very good!

We return the signal, they

pick us up...

And we lead them up the

cliffs to the old lighthouse.

I’ll go round to the far side

to cut off his escape route.

When we rendezvous at the

appointed spot by the

lighthouse, we’ll have the

Chameleon cornered!

This is definitely not

boring!

Definitely!

It’s starting to get boring,

Rupert, and cold!

Where are they?

And the tide’s coming in too!

There!

It looks as if our visitors

have returned.

Heh, heh, heh!

Perhaps they’ll make it a

permanent visit!

(Laughing evilly)

FRANCESWhat could have

happened to Nigel?

I don’t know.

Maybe he’s been captured too.

Maybe-- Frances, what are you

doing?

I’m rocking from side to

side.

I can see that, but why?

Ugh!

Oh!

Are you all right?

I think I broke something.

Oh, no!

Oh, yes!

I broke the chair!

(Giggling)

Fantastic!

Let’s go!

(Banging)

It’s no use!

We’ll never get out of here.

This is terrible!

It’s just--

HENCHMAN #It’s just not

fair!


Keep your voice down!

Oh, yes, you tell me to keep

my voice down because you think

you are the boss!

But when is it my turn to be the

boss?

We agreed that whenever the real

boss went away, we would take

turns being the boss, but we

never get to my turn!

So, what is your point

exactly?

I want my turn!

I want to be the boss!

I want to be the-- the--

Canadian!

The Canadian?

It’s the Chameleon, you

nincompoop!

(Gasping)

Shh, hurry!

Now listen carefully, there’s

been a mishap.

My two agents have been

captured.

They’re being held in another

cell upstairs.

We’ve got to rescue them.

I’ll look after that.

My boat’s moored just below.

I want you to take it, go to the

police, and bring help as fast

as you can!

Now go!

What are you doing, Rupert?

We’ve got to hurry!

Yes, but not to the boat.

Can you get us to that shortcut

we took this afternoon?

I think so.

I think I figured something

out.

Good, we got here first.

I’m going to use the plane's

radio to alert the police.

You keep watch.

Rupert, be careful!

The radio, the radio!

Someone’s coming, Rupert!

(Whistling)

The Tiger’s Eye!

Ha, ha!

(Splashing)

(Engine sputtering)

Oh, no!

Rupert!

Rupert!

Hello, Nigel, but that’s not

your real name, is it?

What do you mean?

You’re the Chameleon!

Oh, Rupert.

When did you figure it out?

When I heard your two

partners arguing over who was

going to pretend to be the

Chameleon.

Very clever.

You know, I got the idea of

playing detective from you two.

But why did you let us go

just now?

You could have left us there.

Oh, no, I couldn’t leave you

two in the hands of my

assistants.

They may not look it, but they

can be pretty rough customers,

especially when they realize

they’ve been double-crossed.

So, what are you going to do

with me now?

Yes, what indeed am I going

to do with you?

Oh, why can’t there just be a

button marked "start"?

My fault?

Why is it my fault that those

two brats escaped?

I’m the boss, so naturally it

cannot be my fault!

But if you’d let me be the

boss once in a while, then it

wouldn’t be my fault!

Well, what is the real boss

going to say when he finds out

that we let them escape?

It’s gone!

(Gasping)

I don’t believe it!


We’ve-- we've been

double-stitched!

That’s double-crossed!

In any case, it is your

fault!

I’ve already told you, it

cannot be my--

(Engine starting)

Hey!

Stop, thief!

(Splashing)

You can be the boss now.

I don’t want to be the boss

now.

I don’t want to be the stupid

Accordion ever again!

That’s Chameleon, you

nincompoop!

(Gurgling)

NIGELThere’s a small island

a few hundred miles from here.

I’ll drop you off there, Rupert,

and I’ll radio the authorities

to pick you up.

You know, I’ve been in this

business for a long time.

You’re the only one who's even

come close to catching me, and

I must say I’ve really quite

enjoyed it, Rupert.

Rupert?

Goodbye, Nigel!

Rupert!

Rupert!

(Nigel laughing)

He’s quite a boy, that

Rupert.

(Gasping)

Quite a boy.

Rupert, you did it!

No, Frances, we did it!

MR. BEAROh, Rupert, you

won’t believe the number of

exciting things there are to do

today.

Rupert?

Frances?

I think the children are a

little tired, dear.

Well, that’s what we're here

for.

Rest and relaxation!