01x11 - Best of Breed/U.S. Acres: National Tapioca Pudding Day/All About Odie

[bunniefuu]

- Dogs

- Dogs are

- Dogs are the

- Dogs are the most

Ridiculous thing on this planet.

Odie does that all day,

Day in, day out.

No dignity. No brains.

No anything.

Look how he embarrasses himself

To entertain jon.

It's absolutely disgusting.

It's...

- Here, boy,

Have a nice juicy ham.

- [ Panting ]

- Hey a ham's a ham.

- [ Panting ]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

[ Music ]

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To help you ♪

♪ Get started, to give you ♪

♪ A push on your way ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To turn around ♪

♪ Get your feet on the ground ♪

♪ For a brand-new day ♪

- ♪ They pick you up ♪

♪ When you're down ♪

- ♪ Help you ♪

♪ Swallow your pride ♪

♪ When something inside ♪

♪ Says to break on through ♪

♪ To the other side ♪

- ♪ Friends are ♪

♪ Someone you can open up to ♪

- ♪ When you feel ♪

♪ Like you're ready to flip ♪

- ♪ When you've got ♪

♪ The world on your shoulders ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ To give you a tip ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ When you need them ♪

♪ They're even there ♪

♪ When you don't ♪

- ♪ For a walk in the park ♪

♪ Or a shot in the dark, ♪

♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ I don't care ♪

- ♪ But friends will ♪

♪ Care for you ♪

- Beware of imitations.

Accept no substitutes.

Batteries not include.

- Oh, garfield,

I'm packing a box to ship

To my folks in the country.

Look around for stuff

We don't need.

Old magazines, good idea.

That old radio, nice thought.

Nermal, excellent idea.

My folks will just love--

Garfield, you can't mail nermal

To my folks.

- Sure you can.

Just mark the package

Third class,

Please bend and smash.

- Watch this garfield,

People love it

When kittens play.

- What good is it?

- What good is it?

Look at all these blue ribbons

I won in the cat show.

- Best whiskers,

First place purring competition,

Most pushups. Most pushups?

- Mm-hmm. And tomorrow

Is this year's cat show.

I bet I win

A whole lot more awards.

- Hmm, maybe I ought to get jon

To enter me in the cat show.

I bet he thinks

It's a great idea.

- [ Laughing ] you?

You in the--

In the cat show?

Why? Do they have a category

For eating the most lasagna?

[ Laughing ] no. No. No. No.

No, really, garfield.

You can't possibly--

Oh, I didn't mean to

Hurt your feelings, garfield.

You're my cat,

And I really care about you.

So if you want to be

In the cat show, I'll enter you.

- Kiss me.

- Could I have

Your attention, please?

The judges have completed

The preliminary screening.

- Boy, the waiting's

Getting to me.

- How did you get in here?

- I made a left turn

At the tacorama and here I was.

- No. No. I mean,

Do you have papers?

- Jon gets some.

I usually read the comics

And throw the rest away.

- Your attention, please.

The judges have eliminated

The following cats. Number nine.

- Hey, tough luck, fellow.

- Number 17.

- Hey, that's the way it goes.

- Number 3, number 21,

Number 8.

- Don't get so dejected guys.

The important thing is to be

A good dignified loser.

- And number 13.

- But I don't want to lose!

It's not fair!

I demand a recount!

Get me an attorney!

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Correction, number 13

Is one of our two finalists,

Along with number 5.

- I knew I had it.

I'm a finalist! I almost won.

All I have to do

Is beat number 5.

I wonder which one number 5 is.

- Hi garfield.

- I think we all

Saw this coming.

- Now, our two finalists

Will compete in three events

To determine the winner.

First, the talent competition.

Here is garfield.

- ♪ Blue ribbons I don't need ♪

♪ To know that I'm ♪

♪ The best of breed ♪

♪ I'm the best ♪

♪ Possible garfield the cat ♪

♪ And I don't need a trophy ♪

♪ To tell me that ♪

♪ I'm cool and hot ♪

♪ Other cats can only wish for ♪

♪ What I've got ♪

♪ I'm hot and cool ♪

♪ And I live my life ♪

♪ By one simple rule ♪

♪ Only the best ♪

♪ Is good enough for me ♪

♪ Yes, sir ♪

♪ My success is guaranteed, ♪

♪ Because I'm the
best of breed ♪

- [ Sparse applause ]

- Tough crowd.

- And now our other finalist,

Nermal, will play with

A ball of yarn.

- What a pathetic, lousy act.

- Ahh.

[ Applause ]

- Our next event is obedience.

I will read a list of commands

For the cat to follow.

First garfield. Play dead.

Roll over. Sit up.

Speak.

- Meow.

- Stand up. Lie down.

Get up. Beg. Jump up.

Play dead again. Turn around.

- [ Applause ]

- Well, there's my exercise

For the decade.

- In a moment

We'll put nermal

Through the obedience task.

All right, nermal. Ready?

Roll over. Sit up.

Stand on one foot.

Eat a pizza.

Impersonate santa claus.

Make duck sounds.

- Quack, quack.

- Dance "swan lake."

Balance on a grapefruit.

Play the accordion.

Boogie till you
drop. Make butter.

Fly a kite.

Polish the klopman diamond.

Run the marathon.

Move to florida.

Do jumping jacks.

- [ Applause ]

- Did you hear that, garfield?

They love me.

That's because I'm so adorable,

Unlike you.

- This calls

For drastic action.

- Our last event is skill.

Each cat will demonstrate

A special ability.

First garfield.

- [ Applause ]

- Most impressive.

And now, here with a skill

Demonstration is nermal.

Ahem. Here is nermal.

Is nermal here? Nermal?

- We can't find nermal.

We've looked everywhere.

- Oh, well then,

Ladies and gentlemen,

Nermal seems to have

Left the building.

Nermal is

Therefore disqualified,

And garfield wins

The blue ribbon.

- [ Applause ]

- What?

No large cash award?

- You won, garfield.

I can't believe you did it!

I cannot believe it!

- Your confidence in me

Is overwhelming.

- Gee, I wonder

What happened to nermal.

No one saw nermal

Leave the building.

- I can't imagine

What happened.

- Garfield, am I on yet?

Garfield, this is

A pretty small dressing room.

It's so dark too.

Is it time for me

To be cute yet? Garfield?

Oh, garfield. Garfield.

- La la la, la la la la la la

- Mm, tapioca pudding, delish.

[ Conitnues singing ]

Oh, I suppose

You're wondering

What I'm doing.

Well, I've just arranged

A terrific joke.

When orson opens this box,

Whammo, a face full

Of tapioca pudding.

You're just jealous

'Cause you didn't

Think of it first.

[ Laughing ]

Ahem, dear friend orson.

I wish you a happy national

Tapioca pudding day.

- Happy what?

- National tapioca pudding day.

The day when you give

Your dear, dear friends

A box of tapioca pudding

To show them how much

Their friendship means to you.

- Tapioca pudding day?

- Uh-huh

- Gee, roy, I'm honored.

- Uh-huh.

- And embarrassed. See,

I didn't get you anything.

- What? No tapioca pudding?

Well, I can see

How much my friendship

Means to you, au revoir,

Fair weather amigo.

This will be great. [ Laughing ]

- Oh, I feel awful.

I didn't even know

About tapioca pudding day.

Maybe it's not too late

To get some pudding for roy.

- I have had it.

I'm sick of you

Following me around

All the time, and I am not

Afraid of you anymore.

It has finally dawned

Upon this oft craven duck

That shadows cannot hurt you.

Let me reassess.

- Wade, who did this to you?

- Someone who is but a shadow

Of my former self.

What's that, orson?

- Oh, it's a box

Of tapioca pudding.

Today is national

Tapioca pudding day.

- National tap-a-hey-day?

- It's a holiday.

You show friends

You care about them

By giving them a box

Of tapioca pudding.

- Well that's what

All holidays are about,

Buying and getting presents.

- Oh, no, wade.

They're about something

Very different.

- Gee, I could have sworn

I just heard a song cue.

- ♪ Gifts aren't just

♪ For holidays ♪

♪ They're to give ♪

♪ When the feeling's right ♪

♪ It's a nice way to say, ♪

♪ "Hey, you're a good friend," ♪

♪ And it makes
their day bright ♪

♪ You don't really
need a reason ♪

♪ To show someone
that you care ♪

♪ A gift is a nice way to show ♪

♪ How you feel, and feelings ♪

♪ Are nice to share ♪

♪ Sometimes words ♪

♪ Don't come easy ♪

♪ When there's something ♪

♪ You'd like to say ♪

♪ Sometimes a gift ♪

♪ Helps a friend have a nice, ♪

♪ Sharing a gift
helps a friend ♪

♪ Have a nice, ♪

♪ Giving a gift helps ♪

♪ A friend have a nice day ♪

♪ Oooh oooh oooh ♪

So here's your tapioca pudding

To show what a good friend

I think you are.

- Thanks orson.

You are a good friend.

Wait, wait.

He is a good friend,

And I didn't get him

Any tapioca pudding.

I have committed a major

Social blunder.

- I'll get you worm.

- [ Blows raspberries ]

- You won't get away from me.

- He got away from you.

- Not for long.

I'll flood him out.

- I don't think I want

To see this.

- Okay, worm.

I hope you're thirsty.

I'll just wait

At his back door

Until he swims for it.

I hear him. He's coming.

Your mine now, wormy worm worm.

Mine! Ahh!

- I was right.

I didn't want to see this.

- Oh, worry.

Oh, worry and fret.

Oh, worry, fret, and concern,

And panic. I have box --

I didn't know about

National tapioca pudding day.

- Will you say it,

Or shall i?

- Let's say it together.

- National tapioca pudding day?

- The day you give your friends

Tapioca pudding.

Orson gave me some,

And I have none to give him.

- Well, tapioca pudding

Is pretty much all alike.

- Sheldon's right.

Why don't you just rewrap

That box and give it

Back to him?

- That's a ridiculous, silly,

Impractical idea. I'll do it.

- Sheldon, I just had

A thought.

- Oh, well,

Whisper it in my ear.

- Okay, sure. No problem--

Uh, um, could you give me

A hint where your ear is?

- A fabulous idea.

- Present for me, wade?

- Oh, no. No. No.

This is for my good

And truly friend, orson.

- Oh, the pig gets a present,

And I don't?

Well, see if I care.

Of course I care.

- And to my good pal orson,

I present this.

- Uno momento, pig and duck.

Isn't something missing?

Like maybe roy's present? Hmm?

Like maybe a gift

For good ol' roy?

- Oh, that reminds me,

I just wanted to

Return the favor from earlier.

Happy national

Tapioca pudding day.

- Oh, you shouldn't have.

I'm touched guys.

And after all the rotten things

I've done to you.

To think you remember me

On national tapioca pudding day.

Wait a minute.

Didn't I make up this holiday?

Oh, yeah.

I had this all

Planned out so well.

- Here's a gift for you, orson.

- Not more tapioca pudding?

- Protect me.

- Here, we picked

These for you.

- Flowers, for me?

But why, guys?

It isn't a holiday,

Or my birthday.

- So?

- Why do you have to wait

For a holiday

To do something nice

For someone you like?

- Nice, guys. Real nice.

- All right, class.

Settle down.

I wanted to take the

Opportunity today to answer

Some of the questions

You've been sending in.

Follow me.

I said follow me.

I'm very happy when

You all write in.

And even odie gets mail,

Can you believe it?

We keep odie's fan mail in here.

Well, like I said,

This is odie's mail,

And if he gets that much mail,

You can only imagine

How much I get.

Mine's in here.

Stand back.

- [ Fly buzzing ]

- Hmm. Well, at least

I got one letter.

No doubt from some loyal,

True-blue, garfield admirer.

Let's see. Dear occupant,

You may already have

Won $37 million.

All right.

You want to hear about odie?

- [ Applause ]

- Fine. Lights.

This is odie.

I can tell you're thrilled.

This is a doggie tongue,

Very dangerous.

- Uh, how long

Is the average doggie tongue?

- Nine yards.

Hold your questions

For the end, please.

Now, a doggie tongue

Does have its uses.

You can get 50 stamps

Licked at once.

You can insult someone

You don't like,

And in some countries

They use it as

A red carpet for very small

Visiting dignitaries.

A doggie tongue can be

Very dangerous, however.

Watch this film

Prepared by the national council

On canine slurping safety.

Lights.

- Doggie tongue:

Threat or menace?

Some day

When you are unprepared,

When you don't expect it...

- [ Slurp ]

- ...they will slurp you.

Let's see that again

In slow motion.

Note the unsuspecting innocence

On the part of the slurpee.

Watch as the slurper makes

His approach.

The slow motion camera

Reveals the many and

Varied reaction on the part

Of the slurpee.

He doesn't seem

To like this much, does he?

- People wonder what a dog

Like odie is made of.

Let's consult this pie chart.

This tiny piece

Of the pie represents

Odie's brains.

And this piece represents

Odie's common sense.

And this piece represents

Odie's tongue.

Gulp.

Before we go on,

Are there any questions?

- Uh, yeah. Is wrestling fixed?

- Gulp. Excuse me.

I should have asked

Are there any

Intelligent questions.

- What exactly does odie

Do all day?

- I'll settle for that.

Here's odie in the morning.

Here's odie in the afternoon.

And here's odie in the evening.

Boy, he looks depressed

In this one.

Would anyone like to see

What I do all day?

Tough, I'm gonna

Show you anyhow.

Here I am in the morning.

Here I am in the afternoon.

Here I am in the evening.

Here I am on my day off.

- What does odie do

On his day off?

- Odie, huh?

Well, odie likes to chase cars.

I have some films of that.

Here's odie chasing a car.

- [ Barking ]

- You know, every so often

He does catch one.

- Uh, what does he do with one

When he catches it?

- He buries it in the backyard.

- [ Laughter ]

- What are you laughing at?

You don't believe me?

- No, we don't believe you.

- I can't believe my ears.

- We can't believe your face.

- Hey, I did not come here

To be insulted.

- Well, where do you

Usually go?

This whole thing is stupid.

- Yeah, it's ridiculous.

- You think this is ridiculous?

You should see this audience.

- [ Crowd booing ]

- [ Barking ]

- Hi boy.

Have fun chasing cars?

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- Those people

Didn't appreciate me.

I told them you buried cars

In the backyard,

And they made fun of me.

- [ Cars honking ]

- Boy, try and

Educate some people.

- [ Barking ]