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01x08 - Cabin Fever/U.S. Acres: Return of Power Pig/Fair Exchange

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Garfield and Friends". Aired: September 17, 1988 – December 10, 1994.*
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Show features animated story lines adapted from the comic strip Garfield and Davis's other comic strip U.S. Acres.

01x08 - Cabin Fever/U.S. Acres: Return of Power Pig/Fair Exchange

Post by bunniefuu »

- Odie,

- Odie, garfield,

It's time you learned

Where the fire exit is.

In case of fire, go straight

To your swinging pet door.

Do you understand?

- Don't worry.

I know exactly what to do.

- Hmm, maybe I better

Give them a little test.

Fire!

- Aah!

- That was very clever

Of you, jon. Thanks.

I knew they'd pick up on it.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To help you get started ♪

♪ To give you a
push on your way ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To turn you around, ♪

♪ Get your feet on the ground ♪

♪ For a brand new day ♪

- ♪ They'll pick you up ♪

♪ When you're down ♪

- ♪ Help you swallow
your pride ♪

♪ When something inside's ♪

♪ Got to break on through ♪

♪ To the other side ♪

- ♪ Friends are someone ♪

♪ You can open up to ♪

- ♪ When you feel ♪

♪ Like you're ready to flip ♪

- ♪ When you've got ♪

♪ The world on your shoulders ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ To give you a tip ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ When you need them ♪

♪ They're even there ♪

♪ When you don't ♪

- ♪ For a walk in the park ♪

♪ Or a shot in the dark ♪

♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ I don't care ♪

- ♪ But friends
will care for you ♪

- So if someone wants you

To change the channel,

Kids, just say no.

- We're almost there, guys.

Wasn't it nice of my friends

To loan us their
cabin in the mountains

For the weekend?

[ Pants ]

- Couldn't you find any friends

With a condo on maui

Next to a good

Italian restaurant?

Hey, odie.

[ Barks ]

- How come you're not hanging

Your head out the window?

- Nuh-uh.

- Come on.

Dogs love to hang out

A car window,

Letting their tongues

Flap in the breeze.

Aren't you just dying

To do this?

h*, h*, h*.

[ Snickering ]

- Hey, now, isn't this great?

This is a real rustic cabin.

- Rustic, it's another way

Of saying dump.

- You like this place, odie?

[ Barks ]

- You call this

A vacation spot?

Where's the color tv?

Where's the sauna?

Has this place even been

Sanitized for my protection?

Ahem.

- I guess I should have

Brought food.

I'll go to that little market

We saw down the hill.

Be right back.

- Three days in a cabin

With no tv and no phone

And no microwave.

It takes someone of very low

Intelligence to be happy here.

[ Barks ]

- I rest my case.

- And a dozen eggs.

No, make that two dozen,

And a couple of steaks.

- You got enough food

Here for a small army.

- Small army, huh?

That's not enough for garfield.

Let me know when I have

Enough for a large army.

- Don't blame you stocking up,

Not with that

Big blizzard tonight.

- Blizzard?

I'd better get back

To the cabin.

I can't leave garfield

And odie alone.

You'd probably like me

To pay for these, wouldn't you?

- Might be nice.

- I'll move to here.

I win.

Hey, wait a minute.

You cheated.

I did not.

Did too.

Did not.

Did.

I don't want to play

With you anymore.

What do you see out there, odie?

[ Whimpers ]

- Oh, oh.

That isn't dandruff

Falling out there.

[ Whimpers ]

- We'd better get out of here

Before we get snowed in.

Too late.

- I have to get through.

- Sorry.

All roads are closed.

- But I have a cat

And a dog in a cabin up there,

And they don't have any food.

- Don't worry.

A cat can go without food

For a long time.

- Yeah.

This one, I'd say,
for almost an hour.

- I don't know how long

We can hold out, odie.

I haven't had anything

To eat in--

[ Coughs ]

Almost an hour.

[ Odie whimpers ]

- No, boy.

You can't go outside.

We're snowbound.

[ Whines ]

- There must be food

Here somewhere.

[ Cupboards banging ]

- Look, a cr*cker.

Odie, I found a cr*cker.

I'm saved.

[ Squeaks ]

- I'm not saved.

I'm...

[ Rumbling ]

- Don't worry, odie.

It's not an avalanche.

It's just my stomach grumbling.

[ Whimpers ]

- I told you.

You can't go out.

I have to get my mind off food.

If I think about food,

I'll go bananas,

And apples and pie

And ice cream and,

No, I won't think about food.

I'll think about this cabin.

What a cheesy place.

Cheese.

No, there's too much at stake.

Steak.

- I'm coming, garfield.

I'm coming!

Uh, eventually.

- Filet mignon.

Shrimp chow mein.

Spaghetti marinara.

There must be a picture

Of meatballs in here somewhere.

[ Whimpering ]

- I said no, odie.

This is it, the end.

I'll never see jon again.

I'll never taste lasagna again.

I'll never see nermal again.

Okay, so things aren't all bad.

I need to make out my will.

I, garfield, do hereby

Leave everything I own to--

No, I'll take it all with me.

[ Whimpers ]

- We're starving away

To nothingness,

And all you can think about

Is going out? Okay.

I don't care.

Go freeze your doggie nose off.

Go get lost in the snow.

See if...

[ Barks ]

Luigi's drive thru

Lasagna palace.

We're saved. We're saved.

Lasagna.

Oh, lasagna.

[ Laughs ]

- Sorry, cat.

We close at 8:00 sharp.

- You can't do this to me.

You can't.

You knew this was here

All the time, didn't you?

[ Barks ]

- Why didn't you tell me?

So close, and yet so far.

Well, odie, this is it.

- I'll have dinner ready

In a sec.

- Thanks.

Well, I guess this is

The end, odie.

They'll never find us in time.

You weren't such a bad friend.

A little dumb at times,

A little wet, but...

- Garfield, what's gotten

Into you?

I've only been gone

About two hours.

I'm making you my specialty,

Southern fried pig's liver

With chocolate sauce.

- Hey, that hungry, I'm not.

I wonder if they have

A picture of

Lemon meringue pie for dessert.

- Help!

Help! Help! Help!

- Lanolin is yo-yoing

Sheldon again.

- Fear not, booker.

I have a plan.

- Next, we'll try

Some bowling.

- Stop kicking on my buddy

Sheldon, or I'll mess you's up.

- Oh, yes, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

I'm sorry.

Boy, you have the strangest

Looking belly button

In the world.

- Ow.

She's not as dumb as she looks.

- Read me a scary story, orson.

- Are you sure you can

Handle it, sheldon?

- Heh heh heh.

No scary story's

Too scary for me.

- All right.

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall...

- Too scary.

- The worm.

This is the only way out,

And he can't get out

As long as I sit here.

Nothing--i say nothing

On earth is gonna get me

To budge from this spot.

Oww!

- Ach du lieber!

Eine flying chicken.

- You scared me.

- What are you so edgy about?

- Orson read me a scary story.

I'm gonna go hide.

That's even scarier.

- Roy, why are you playing

The wake-up call now?

It's 9:30.

- I'm on daylight savings time.

Hey, what's wrong with

Our friend the egg?

- Oh, orson read him

A scary story,

Like about a monster

Or something.

- Gee, I wonder

What kind of monster it was.

- I don't get it.

Nothing's growing here.

Hey, you seeds, if you know

What's good for you,

You'll grow.

Come on! Grow

Or I'll feed you

To the crows!

- Hey, chill down, sis.

That's no way to talk to seeds.

Try it like this.

Okay, guys.

Everyone up.

Sunshine, and time to make

An entrance, dudes.

- Very funny!

- Hey, why is

Everything shaking?

- Uh, it's just my sister.

She's, like, uh, a little

Loud in the mouth department.

- Oh. I thought maybe orson

Told you about the monster.

- I got the scarecrow.

- Scarecrow. Ha ha.

Those things never work.

- Says who, chicken lips?

This is the ugliest scarecrow

In the world.

- Let me see.

h*, h*, very funny.

Highly comedic.

Oh, I cannot stop laughing.

Guffaw, guffaw.

- Speaking of scary,

Orson said something

About a monster being around.

- Monster?

- Today is the day

I'm going to conquer

My fear of going in the pond.

Ducks gotta swim after all.

Everyone says I am a coward.

Who am I to go against

Popular opinion?

No, I will do this.

Pond, I am going

To conquer you.

Ow! Ow!

Sounds of pain. Sounds of pain.

Whoa-oh-oh.

Sorry, lanolin.

A fish did bad thing.

- Well, why are you

Worried about fish?

Haven't you heard?

There's a monster

Running around here.

- Mo-mo-mo-mo--

One of those things? Help!

Monster! Help!

Orson! Help!

Assistance!

There is a monster

Lurking about.

- A monster?

That's ridiculous.

- It's true.

I heard this from

An excellent source.

- A monster, mm?

Well, this looks like a job for,

Da da da da da da, power pig.

Just let me slip

Into my costume.

Tada.

Heh heh heh, uh,

Wardrobe difficulties.

Beware, forces of evil.

Power pig is on the job.

- Don't just stand there.

Go take care of the m-m-monster.

- Hello, monster?

Any monsters in here?

Uh, telephone call

For any monsters.

- Orson, I mean power pig.

I found the--

Monster.

- You did?

- It's over in lanolin's garden.

There it is.

Save us from the mo--

- I--i'll do it.

Take that and that.

Oh, trying to get tough,

Monster?

- The monster's got orson.

- Hey, come back

With my scarecrow.

- Aha, got you worm.

Take that and that and that.

Take that and that and that...

- Eight-thousand six,

Eight-thousand seven,

Eght-thousand eight, eight--

[ Screaming ]

- Oh, no.

Roy's head.

He hadn't even used it yet.

- Wait a minute.

Wade told me there was

A monster around here.

- What made him think

A stupid thing like that?

- You told me there was.

- That's right.

Well, bo told me.

- Roy told me.

- Booker told me.

- Sheldon told me.

- Told you about what?

All I told you is

What orson told me.

- All right. Enough.

I've had enough.

I'm going for a long walk

In the country.

- What did orson

Say he was doing?

- He said he was going

To the country.

- Orson's going to a country?

- A country?

You mean, like, spain?

- Orson's going to spain?

- Orson's moving to spain

Forever?

- ♪ Isn't it peculiar how ♪

♪ The truth gets out of hand ♪

♪ It starts out as a fact, ♪

♪ Then they stretch it ♪

♪ Like a rubber band ♪

♪ They take the
smallest detail ♪

♪ And turn it upside down ♪

♪ They tell someone else, ♪

♪ Now there's a
rumor going round ♪

♪ One tells the rumor, ♪

♪ Someone else adds
a little more ♪

♪ 'Til it's not
the same rumor, ♪

♪ But it's better than before ♪

♪ Never spread rumors ♪

♪ Just for the simple fact ♪

♪ It might be a lie, ♪

♪ It might be the truth, ♪

♪ But it's blown all ♪

♪ Out of whack ♪

♪ Never spread rumors, ♪

♪ Some people
stretch the truth ♪

♪ Don't even listen to rumors, ♪

♪ Don't believe everything ♪

♪ You hear ♪

♪ Never spread rumors, ♪

♪ That's not the thing to do ♪

♪ Would you like someone ♪

♪ Spreading rumors about you? ♪

- Garfield, did you see

The--well, look at that.

That's really terrific.

Garfield, how did you

Teach odie to do that?

- I glued his head

To the table.

- Garfield, you have got

To stop doing these things.

I'm going to send you

To bed without your supper.

- I've already had my supper.

- Oh, wait.

You've had your supper already.

Okay. I'll send you to bed

Without your post-supper snack.

- I already had

My post-supper snack.

- No, I gave you that already.

All right.

I'm sending you to bed without

Your post-post-supper snack.

- Already had two of them.

- Wait. I've got it.

I'm sending you to bed

Without your pre-bedtime,

Post-midnight-snack-meal.

- Did I have that yet?

No, I didn't.

No!

Not my pre-bedtime,

Post-midnight-snack-meal.

No! No!

- Boy, I wish just once

You could be in my shoes

And know what it's like

To put up with you.

Ahh, that cat doesn't know

How easy he has it,

Just lying around

All day eating.

Boy, I wish I could have

A life like that.

- He thinks it's easy

Being a cat.

Ha, would I love to trade

Places with him.

Gee, I think I feel

A dream sequence coming on.

- Boy, I'm hungry.

I haven't eaten since

My pre-bedtime,

Post-midnight-snack-meal.

Time to wake him up.

- Hey, what's going on?

What are you doing here?

- What am I doing here?

What are you doing here?

- This is my dream.

- Hey, it's my dream, too.

And I'm here because I want

Pancakes for breakfast, pronto.

- All right.

By the way, flamenco dance,

Nice touch.

Who replaced my shave cream

With whipped cream?

- I thought it might put you

In the mood for

Strawberry shortcake.

Oh, good.

Powdered sugar.

- Jon.

- Hey, don't blame me.

It's your dream sequence.

[ Doorbell rings ]

- Wonder who it could

Be this early.

Mr. Atwiler from next door.

- It's that cat of yours again.

He tried to eat my fern

Last night.

- Well, that's no big deal,

A cat trying to eat a plant.

- Fern is not a plant.

She's a toucan.

[ Squawks ]

- Jon, how many times

Have i--

Jon!

Shoving odie off the table

Is the wrong thing to do.

[ Telephone rings ]

- You're right.

I have a sneakier idea.

- My cat did what yesterday?

Really? The whole cow?

- Hmm?

- Pilot to copilot,

You are cleared for takeoff.

[ Telephones ringing ]

- He did what?

Just send me the bill.

Yes, he's my cat.

He did what to your supermarket?

Aisles three through nine?

Really?

Odie!

[ Telephones ringing ]

- Odie, don't worry, odie.

I'll save you.

- Um, I don't know

What to have,

So I'll have everything.

- Odie! Odie!

- That's the guy with the cat.

- That cat put gelatin

In my birdbath

So the pigeons

Would bounce off.

- It's that guy's fault.

- Let's get him!

- There's no food left

In this entire house.

What am I gonna do?

I know.

I'll let it go cheap for a

Small down payment in lasagna.

- Uh-oh.

- Don't worry, odie.

Phew.

[ Grumbling ]

- I don't want to be a person.

I want to be me again.

I'm gonna pinch myself and

End this dream sequence.

Ow!

Where's jon?

I have to make sure he's not me

Or I'm not him or...

- No, don't take me to the vet.

I'll be a good cat.

I'll--aah!

Oh, no, I'm still a cat.

Oh, garfield,

I'm so glad I'm me.

- And I'm glad I'm me.

[ Barks ]

- And we're both glad

We're not odie.