01x07 - Weighty Problem/U.S. Acres: The Worm Turns/Good Cat, Bad Cat

[bunniefuu]

[ Dog

[ Dog howling

- Odie needs something to do,

Something to occupy his time.

This television should

Shut him up.

There.

That ought to do it.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- ♪ Friends are there... ♪

- ♪ To help you get started ♪

♪ To give you a push ♪

♪ On your way ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To turn you around ♪

♪ Get your feet on the ground ♪

♪ For a brand new day ♪

- ♪ They'll pick you up ♪

♪ When you're down ♪

- ♪ Help you swallow
your pride ♪

♪ When something inside's ♪

♪ Got to break on through ♪

♪ To the other side ♪

- ♪ Friends are someone ♪

♪ You can open up to ♪

- ♪ When you feel ♪

♪ Like you're ready to flip ♪

- ♪ When you've got ♪

♪ The world on your shoulders ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ To give you a tip ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ When you need them ♪

♪ They're even there ♪

♪ When you don't ♪

- ♪ For a walk in the park ♪

♪ Or a shot in the dark ♪

♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ I don't care ♪

- ♪ But friends will care ♪

♪ For you ♪

- The garfield guarantee.

No giant robots or annoying

Little blue people.

- Garfield, I'm home.

- Oh, what an exciting
announcement.

It'll probably be

On the news tonight.

Jon is home, film at 11:00.

- And you'll never guess

What I bought.

- Uh, the entire nation

Of bolivia?

- A new bathroom scale.

- That was going

To be my next guess.

- It's a talking scale.

It calculates how much you

Should weigh for your height,

And it predicts

Your fortune, too.

- Hmm.

- I'm going to weigh my-
self as soon as I get out

Of these heavy clothes.

- No point in delaying

The bad news.

- One at a time, please.

I don't do trucks.

Let me guess, you're

An ocean liner, right?

[ Alarm blares ]

- Get off. Get off.

Get off.

Thank you.

- All right.

No kidding around,

Let me have it straight.

- You are 20 pounds overweight,

Or nine inches under tall.

Your fortune is,

You will be splutted.

- Splutted?

What does it mean, splutted?

Oh, splutted.

All this scale needs is

A little tampering with.

- Well, let's make sure that

I'm still at my ideal weight.

- You are 50 pounds overweight.

Your fortune is,

You will go on a strict diet.

- 50 Pounds overweight?

How could this happen?

I am going to go on

A strict diet.

Garfield, you're going

To help me.

Will you make sure I
don't eat too much?

- Oh, I suppose so.

- Are you sure this

Is what the diet book

Says I get for lunch?

One lettuce leaf?

Garfield, I'm going

To go work out.

- Good.

- And you're going

To work out with me.

- Bad.

- ♪ Here's my dumbbell ♪
- ♪ here's my dumbbell ♪

- ♪ Here's my little rope ♪
- ♪ here's my little dope ♪

- ♪ What's wrong with ♪

♪ A little exercise? ♪

- ♪ What's wrong with ♪

♪ A little extra size? ♪

- ♪ Maybe there's still hope. ♪

- ♪ Nope. ♪

- ♪ Let's turn this place ♪

♪ Into a gym. ♪

- ♪ I think there's something ♪

♪ Seriously wrong with him ♪

- ♪ Work out! ♪

♪ Work out! ♪

♪ That's what it's
going to take. ♪

- ♪ Cook out! ♪

♪ Cook out! ♪

♪ How 'bout a great big steak? ♪

- ♪ The road to hell ♪

♪ Is paved with ♪

♪ Good intentions ♪

- ♪ The road to the kitchen ♪

♪ Can lead to new dimensions ♪

- ♪ Garfield, we're gonna ♪

♪ Get in shape ♪

- ♪ Fat chance ♪

Whoa, yeah.

- Okay.

We'll start by skipping rope.

- Great.

Then we'll skip the sit-ups,

Then the push-ups, then--

- Better still,

Let's start with some jogging.

Come on.

- Do you folks have

To do this kind of thing

If you want to get

Fed every night?

[ Panting ]

- All right. All right.

We'll rest.

Garfield, we're still

In front of our house.

- Yeah.

But it's a long driveway.

- I think we should head west.

- No. I think we should go east.

- Oh, no.

You just want to go that
way because it's shorter.

Yahoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- No. I wanted to go that way

Because there's no open manhole.

- Okay, now.

Pulling on these things

Is great exercise.

It's no use.

They're too tough.

You take one and I'll take one.

- Oh, boy.

All this exercise has

Made me hungry.

Here, hold this a second.

- Whoa!

- I think I'll peel it first.

Oh, the peeler's in the house.

Well, that's not nice.

If you're going to take a break,

At least you could have told me.

[ Dance music ]

- This is an aerobics

Workout record.

- I can't take

Much more of this.

This will get it over

With sooner.

[ Music speeds up ]

- I better stop this

Before john flies south

For the winter.

You know, you'd better stop

Trying to improve your health

Before you remove your health.

Jon's worked so hard.

I'll put it back

To accurate weight,

But first I better test it.

- You are still


Your fortune is, you are

About to get more exercise.

- More exercise?

- Okay.

Let's see how much I lost.

- You are the correct weight

For your height.

Your fortune is, you will punish

Your cat for tampering

With the scale earlier.

- Ratfink scale.

- You will chase the cat

Around the living room.

He will slip on the throw rug.

He will swing on the chandelier,

Crash into the wall.

- Boy, are those things

Ever accurate.

- You will chase him

Out the front door.

You will chase him

Down the block.

And they lived

Heavily ever after.

The end.

End. End. End.

- Read us a book, mom.

- Yeah.

And make it real scary.

- Okay, everybody.

Try to imagine the story.

- Okay.

- One day in the deep,

Dark jungle, a wockabird

Was singing a simple song,

When suddenly

The fierce beasts appeared.

The beasts moved

Closer and closer.

- Help, get us out of this.

- And they lived

Happily ever after.

- Oh, thank you.

- Phew.

- Oh, hi.

Glad you could make it.

Let me get out

Of the waller here.

Oh, thanks for offering to help,

But I can manage on my own.

I was afraid for a while there

You weren't coming.

Just let me blow

My inner tube back up and

I'll show you around.

Well, that's odd.

My pump was right

Around here a minute ago.

Well, I'll find it later.

Right now I want you

To meet wade.

[ Snoring ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Air hisses ]

[ Laughs ]

- I love this.

- Oh, no.

Oh, no.

I've shrunk.

I have shrunk down very small.

Help!

I am tiny.

I am minute.

[ Laughing ]

- I'd better warn you,

Wade sometimes panics

Over the silliest things.

- Help, I have shrunken!

- See what I mean?

Stop that, wade.

You're the same size I am.

- You've shrunk, too?

Oh, no.

And look, look!

The trees are my size and

The barn and your friend here.

Everything is shrunk down

Like me.

[ Laughing ]

- Oh, wade,

You are too, too comedic.

You have got

To pay attention to things.

Think before you act.

Uh-oh.

Ya-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[ Sighs ]

- So that's kind of

How it is around here.

Roy tends to-- what's that?

You think booker's

Out hunting worms?

Oh, no.

Booker doesn't do that anymore.

- Tell your friends

Here what happened.

Wait till you hear this.

- Well, if you want

To hear the story,

It all happened about

A week ago.

You know how booker

Loves to hunt for worms.

- Hey, booker,

What are you doing?

- Fishing for worms.

- Well, what are you

Using for bait?

- Oh, come on.

Hunt worms with me.

- I can't.

I have to hang pictures today.

- Okay.

But you'll miss out on

A worm feast.

- Oh, that's all right.

I have a quiche

In the microwave.

All right, now.

I think I'll hang

This picture right there.

[ Hammering ]

- And this one goes over there.

Hmm, maybe I need shorter nails.

[ Grunting ]

- Booker set up a trap

For the worm.

- There. A grade-a,

First-class worm trap.

Pretty impressive, huh?

That worm doesn't

Stand a chance.

Why, when I get my hands on

That worm, he'll beg for...

[ Laughing ]

- Thought you could
fool me, huh, worm?

[ Kisses ]

[ Laughs ]

- She loves me.

She loves me not.

She loves me.

She loves me not.

- Yes. Booker was pretty

Dedicated to worm hunting.

But later that day...

- ♪ The worm, the worm, ♪

♪ I hate the worm ♪

♪ I'll show him who's boss ♪

♪ I'll grab him, ♪

♪ I'll whack him, ♪

♪ I'll jab him, I'll slap him ♪

♪ Then I'll use him ♪

♪ For dental floss ♪

♪ The worm, the worm, ♪

♪ The worm hates me, ♪

♪ But I don't mind it ♪

♪ I'll grab him around ♪

♪ His wormy old neck, ♪

♪ If I can ever find it ♪

You won't get away from me.

Ah!

Help! Get me out of this!

Help!

Get me down from here!

[ Laughing ]

- Help!

Somebody help me!

Help! Help! Help!

- So booker yelled for help.

Hours passed

And nobody heard him.

- Somebody get me down.

- Nobody at all.

Well, almost nobody.

- Help!

Help, help!

Oh, help! Help!

- Now, some people

Say that worms

Don't have feelings,

And maybe not.

But this worm sure seemed to.

[ Grunts ]

[ Kissing ]

- Aw.

- So that's how booker

Gave up worm hunting.

Now they're friends.

- Gee, do you think it'll last?

- Sure, trust me.

Booker will never

Chase a worm again.

- ♪ The worm, the worm ♪

♪ I like the worm, ♪

♪ Though it may ♪

♪ Not come naturally ♪

♪ It's so easy to see ♪

♪ That this one ♪

♪ Especially ♪

♪ Gets a big kick ♪

♪ Out of me ♪

Crawl, worm!

Come back here!

- Well, it was nice

While it lasted.

- Hey, odie, I'll throw

The bone and you fetch it.

Okay, boy?

Huh? Huh?

[ Panting and barking ]

- Odie just fell for

The oldest trick in the book.

[ Barking ]

- Gee, I wonder kind of dog

Could possibly have

A bone that big.

Oh, that kind of dog.

- I can't live without you.

Without you

My day doesn't begin.

You're my reason for

Getting up in the morning.

You keep me going.

I don't know what

I'd do without you.

- Oh, garfield, try not

To annoy the mailman today, huh?

- Ah.

Today's the day

I annoy the garbage man.

The mailman is tomorrow.

- I'm expecting

A very important package.

- Okay.

I've had my morning coffee.

Time for my post-coffee,

Mid-morning nap.

[ Yawns ]

- Hey, garfield, you aren't

Going to sleep are you?

Wake up.

Hey, you in there.

You can't go to sleep.

There's a mailman to annoy.

- Who are you?

- Who do you think I am?

- Well, the voice is kind of

Familiar, and you are handsome.

- I'm your evil side, garfield.

Everyone has one.

I'm the one who

Makes you do nasty things.

- Bad things? Such as?

- Well, look over there.

Don't you just have the urge

To push odie off this table?

- Yeah.

- No, garfield. Don't do it.

- Who are you?

No. Don't tell me.

You're my good side.

Haven't seen you

Around much lately.

- The way you try and

Hide me, I am not surprised.

- Beat it. Scram.

Vamoose. Hit the trail.

Evaporate. Disappear.

- Oh, no.

I'm going to let you

Influence garfield today.

No siree.

- Have you ever been to mexico?

- No.

- Well, it's about time.

[ expl*si*n ]

- Adios.

Now, go shove

Odie off the table.

- No. I can't do it.

- Yes, you can.

I've had to do it before.

Shove him off.

- No. I can't do it.

Yes, I can.

- Hmm?

- Now, wasn't it fun?

- Well, not really, but...

- I saw that garfield.

That was not nice.

Now, you behave yourself.

I'm going out to mow the lawn.

- You aren't going to let him

Talk to you like that, are you?

- Don't listen to him.

He'll only get you

In trouble, garfield.

- Who should he listen to, you?

- Why not?

- You're a wimp,

That's why not.

- Better a good wimp,

Then a bad whatever you are.

- I ain't gonna listen to this.

- "Ain't" is bad grammar.

- Get in there.

I'm sending you

To italy this time.

[ Glass breaks ]

- Now, here's what

I want you to do.

When he get over there

By the--

[ Whispering ]

- That wouldn't be nice.

- That's the point of it.

And then--

[ Whispering ].

[ Clanging ]

- Garfield is usually so good,

But every so often,

I don't know what gets into him.

- You did like

I told you, right?

[ Mower starts up ]

- I'm not sure I should have.

- Maybe garfield's

Not feeling well--

Yikes!

Help!

[ Bad side laughing ]

- Oh, this is great.

- How do you stop this thing?

Help! Help!

[ Crash ]

[ Laughing ]

- Uh, garfield, you didn't

Tamper with the power mower,

Did you?

I hope that's true.

- See what you've done?

You've made me into a liar.

And you know

What happens to liars.

- They get jobs

Doing the weather on tv.

Never mind that.

The mailman is coming.

This is your chance.

Go get him.

- No. You mustn't.

You--

- There. Now, go to it.

- Yeah.

I'll take care of that mailman.

Bill, bill, bill.

You may already

Have won $17 million.

Hmm.

Mrs. Castanetti's

New dentures are in.

Nothing much.

Hey, here's that package

Jon was waiting for.

Wonder what's in it.

Whoops.

Hey, I don't belong in here.

I don't even have a stamp.

- Hey! Come back here!

Bring back my cart!

- You have no idea how much

I'd like to be able to do that.

This was not a good idea.

- Oh!

- Did I just qualify

As express mail?

- Your package, and your cat.

Both third class.

- Sorry.

He's been that way all day.

And I don't understand it.

We give you everything here.

A home, lots of attention,

Enough food

To feed third marine division,

And still every so often

Something gets into you

And you do these things,

And I don't know why.

- Why should you
do what he says?

He's only gonna punish you.

- But you're still my cat,

And I'm still gonna give you

The gift I ordered for you.

Here.

- He bought you a present.

Aren't you ashamed

Of the way you've acted?

- Hey, why should he be?

He got loot from the deal.

- I just hope I didn't

Hurt this great mug.

- Hey, so maybe messing

With the mailman wasn't

So hot an idea.

- Garfield? Where you going?

I'll never figure that cat out.

- Get rid of the cat.

Lose him.

- He's a good cat.

Forgive him.

- He's nothing but trouble.

- He's loyal and devoted

And he always

Does the right thing eventually.

- Trade him in and get a
hamster or a pekingese.

- He's your cat

And you care for him.