01x10 - Teleport a Friend/

[bunniefuu]

What do you want to do today?The

same thing we do every day, Pinky.

Endure Elmira, then try to take over the

world. The

situation's changed for Pinky and the

Brain. No laboratory

alone in the rain. And someone's

looking round for where they might be

found. It's Pinky for Pinky and the

Brain. Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.

Trapped inside a store. A girl ran in

the door. She bought a discount turtle

but ended up with more. Now Pinky

and the Brain. Share a new domain. It's

what the network wants. Why bother to

complain?The Earth remains a goal.

Some things they can't control. They're

pinky, Elmira and the brain. Brain.

I deeply present this.

Trolls. Mousies.

Carnival, carnival It's so fun, it's

barnival Corn and

cheese, please! Corn and cheese!

Oh, thank you. Is this magical

corn and cheese carnival, friend?Get away

from my stall before I curse you. So

silly, so silly

I wish I had enormous hands so I could

throttle Elmira. But I want to

go. Out of the question. No carnival.

Pinkie and I have work to do. Pinkie

Winkie, would you really

rather work?Or would you rather have

some yummy carnival public corn?

Well, um, I... Pinkie, finish

that sentence and I will make it my

life's mission to have you evaporated.

Sorry, Amara. Brain and I have work to

do. Uh, don't be diapers on you, brainy

big head. What's so important you can't

go?Behold,

my most ingenious creation ever. A

flashlight?No, you bin of ignorance. This

is a portable teleportation device. It

conveys living matter from one spot to

another in the blink of an eye. This

device will eradicate the need for

physical movement in humans. Before long,

they will become fat and sloth-like. It

will then be a simple matter for me to

take over the world. All I need is to tap

into a standard power source. Now go

away. I must test my device. Oh, poo.

Hey, I just thought of something. First,

I'm sure. What is it?I'm bigger than

you two.

Well, at least Elmara brought along your

teleport thingy. Drawers. Only because

she needed something to tie us to.

Maybe we can mix business with

displeasure and find a remote spot around

here. There we shall conduct experiments

in teleportation. Teleport!

Pitch a greased pig through the flaming

hoop and win a prize. Only 25 cents.

I'd like to pitch a pig, please.

Oh, I'll think the pig likes my brain.

I shall call her Penny. Forget it, Pinky.

She's a carnival pig. Their kind always

comes to a bad end. Still,

Penny shall facilitate our escape. When

Elmira hurls the pig, we make our move.

Missed by a mile, kid. Uh, stinky pants.

One more time, please. Do you suppose

Penny will think of me while I'm away?

Unlikely. As I recall, you once fell in

love with a sea lion. How cruel

of you to remind me, Brain. Do you know?

Perhaps if you were less oh so smart and

more sentimental, you'd appreciate the

pain of having loved and lost.

Pick that up or I shall wildly flail at

you. OK, now come, Pinky. We must find a

power source. Ladies and gentlemen, step

right up and jeer at the freak. He's

horrible, gruesome. Pay a buck to

heckle the less fortunate. Maybe later we

can watch the show. If my device works,

Pinky, we won't need a show. You and I

shall be masters of the earth. Brain,

tell me again about the special suits we

shall wear as masters of the earth. Suits

of fine gold and candy corn. Not

here. set it down. Thank you.

Perfect. The generator in this taffy

machine will provide ample power for our

test. This control sets your latitude and

longitude. You brain. That went right

over my head. Pay attention, you cinder

block. Forward takes you to your

destination. Reverse brings you back.

Can you at least understand that?I think

so, brain. Not.

Be quiet. I shall teleport you from here

at point A. Follow me.

And you shall arrive here at point B.

Now, this is unbelievable.

Look at you. I got people out there who

pay good money to see a freak, a puss

faced, pimply headed monstrosity.

Where is your acne, larb?

You got skin like a baby's rump! It

cleared up, Mr. Monkman. I've been eating

better. You know, vegetables and such.

Who told you to do that?Freaks don't eat

vegetables. They eat chicken heads

and big... greasy things.

Rolf Monkman is ruined.

Poor man. I know how hard it is to find

good help. Stop that, Pinky.

I'm fine. Will this teleport thingy hurt?

There is the off chance that your cells

could be inverted, causing molecular

collapse. That would send the very core

of your being into a dimensional chasm of

indescribable chaos. Other than that,

you'll be fine. I thought something bad

might happen. Fire away then. Zark.

Give it up, kid. You're wearing out the

pig. Come back,

Pinky. All

right, Pinky, I've set the coordinates.

Hold still.

Yoo-hoo! Penny! I'm back here, my sweet.

Pinky, return to Elmira. Elmira, get out

of that light at once. What you doing,

cranky big head?

I'm sorry, Brain, did you say something?

Brain?

Huh

What?What have you done?Oh,

Brittany Bighead's on my shoulder.

Cute. I'm not on your shoulder, you

gibbering trout. I'm part of you. We

have to find Pinky and get him to hit the

reverse button. Elmira,

can you move our feet?I

can move my feet to a rocking beat,

Brittany Bighead.

I sense that translates into yes. You

have control of the feet. I

control the arms. Let me try the tail.

Aha! I control the tail as well. The

torso appears to be no man's land.

Quickly now, let us find Pinky. Walk to

the rear of the tent and crawl outside.

Elmira?No. Elmira, would you

please walk outside this tent?I want

to find the piggy first. Walk outside

right now or I shall become extremely

cross. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Our

DNA is co-mingling as we speak. If we

don't reverse the process soon, we'll be

stuck like this. That would be

fun. No! Our brain! I wonder what he

got off to.

Penny, you little scamp, secretly

watching me, eh

We just met. I have a wonderful mint

collection and I'm very fond of old

buttons that I wear on my head. My

dream dinner would be soda pop and wool.

What about your interest, Penny?

Oh, cotton candy, fresh off the turf. Oh,

youCertainly have an awful fine dining.

Trolls! So there you are. I got people

lined up waiting to toss you through a

flaming hoop. Let's go, bacon egg!

Woo-hoo!

This stuff is like cement. Stop,

Paddy!

I'm Pig's truck.

Pig's truck got a

hog to call my own.

Find some dirt to make a home and we'll

wallow in a little hollow of

mud. Pig's

truck when I take you on the

town. We'll eat

lunch right off the ground and we'll

chuckle, walking hand in knuckle

away.

You're so cute when you root. You're the

prettiest sow in the pen.

Nice pen, big

strap.

Move your feet. Nope-dope.

Move now, or I shall tuff you about. You

can't make me. Yes, I can. I don't want

to die! Come

get back. Come on. Come on

I would give my mother's right arm for

another freak. Perhaps I'll try Venice

Beach, CA.

Oh, my golly. Plumpkins.

I am doomed to spend the rest of my life

incorporated into the body of a noxious

troglodyte. Naughty

potty mouth. It's

incredible. I don't know where you

came from, but you are hired.

Sir, I must decline your kind offer of

employment. However, I would be greatly

appreciative if you would subdue and gag

my other head. I have a better, more

lucrative idea for me, that

is. OK, this time I just want the long

haul truckers and row your

boat gently down the street.

Good work, Larb. You're fired.

But I I have a contract. God tell it to

your carrots. There's a new freak in

town. Ladies and gentlemen, and I

use that term loosely, Monk

Man's Big Top Carnival presents its

greatest sensation. I give you

the Incredible 2

headed mousey girl.

I feel like a guest on Jerry Springer.

I'm a pretty girl Pretty as a star

I can sing and dance Or eat and break a

lard With my mousy friend I won't

be alone I can kiss his head And

never have to leave my

home Enough!Have you people no basic

sense of decency?Do you not see that your

perverse taunting of so-called freaks is

in reality just a mirror?A mirror for the

shortcomings every one of you feels in

your lives?You disguise your own

insecurities as ridicule, safely lashing

out at those different than you. Are you

not appalled by your behavior?Uh..

how come you don't sing like your other

head?

Thank you, everyone. You've been a great

audience. I'll be another show in 30

minutes. Riot safely.

Guys, you are fantastic.

In this business, 2 heads are

definitely better than one. I resent

this cruel exhibition. Neither myself nor

the oaf have any intention of continuing

in your show. Quiet, Lumpy Mouseface.

Didn't you hear my public?I'm a

starzy warsy.

Wonderful. Just wonderful. Save

that energy for the next show. Here's

some chow. Sorry I don't have any

bird heads or ferret lungs or whatever

you freaks like to eat, but there's time

to learn. You'll be working for me for

the rest of your lives.

Boy, I laugh a lot. Rest up.

Your next show is in a few minutes and it

had better be good.

We must escape. Our DNA is rapidly

fusing. Soon we will feel, smell,

be one entity. Then we'll be together

forever and ever and ever. A

vomitous thought. It makes me wish for

the power to self-implode.

Let's count cars 1-2 a

lot. I win. Oh, dear. I

wonder where Brain and Elmira got off to.

You know, we really should find them.

Brain! Elmira! Come out, come

out and win a prize!Oh, no, I

forget the last part. I don't have a

prize.

Pitcher greased pig through a flaming

hoop. Bolt still or a BBQ.

Scary

terror. Oh, I

scared myself.

Stop, Penny. Run away, pig.

Just a SEC, Penny. I'll be right along.

Our

brain's teleport thingy is still here. I

bet he's off somewhere having one of his

big, smart ideas.

What a vision. No,

Penny, how would you feel about sharing

horizons that are new to us?What do you

think we'd find along the way?

That's an interesting point.

Come back, Penny. We can talk it over.

Just the two of us. Nothing.

Can you free your legs?

Just the answer I'd hoped for.

Penny. Piggy. Pinky.

Brain. Why is your head on Amari's

shoulder?Oh, I was weary and I thought

I'd rest it here for a moment. Idiot. The

device fused us together. We have to

reverse it. There isn't much time. Free

us at once.

Too tight, Brain. Keep trying. Aha.

Pinky, smear that buttered popcorn on our

ropes. Penny will then chew through them.

That's swine with me, Brain.

Upon regaining my freedom, my first act

will be to beat you into sand. I'm going

to butter up, Brain. I

want to use the arms. Our DNA is moving

more rapidly than I feared. Give those

back. Stop hogging the

arms, you shriveled homunculus. Chocolate

pie. Nikki, we must hurry.

I can't find the eggs, Brain. I can only

hope that we're close enough to the

original mark. I want a snow cone. Be

quiet, Pinky. Go to the teleportation

device. Move the switch to reverse. That

will teleport us back outside and should

undo this bizarre fusion. Right, old

brain. Oh, pressure, pressure, pressure.

Oh, panic, panic, panic. Sponge.

What are you gawking at, you tiny-headed

fool?Burgle, burgle, smooth.

Oh, my golly whumpkins.

Put me down, please. I wish to pray an

abject Thanksgiving. Everything all

right, Prank?Pinky, it was horrible.

There's a purity to Elmira's mindlessness

that is difficult to resist. Oh, it

couldn't have been that bad. Piggy,

pig, pig, pig,

pig, pig, pig, pig, pig. Pick up the

device and let's go. No one's

going anywhere. What an

incredible invention. A few blasts from

this and I'll be able to create an entire

carnival of freaks. All of freaks

pouring out of my nose.

Whoa, think of that. I'll begin with you.

Now, how the heck does this little freak

maker work?Don't be frightened. I'm

sure I won't feel a thing.

Penny. Last, my

teleportation device is being turned into

yummy, yummy, candy.

Penny. Wait, Penny.

Oh, dear. Hello, little pig. Are you

lost?Want to come home with me?And

we'd only just begun.

Hey, look, a freak. No, but no,

I'm not. Pelt the freak! Pelt him!

That was the bestest

carnival day ever. I'm sorry about

Penny. I say this with all due

respect, but she was a dirt-loving hog.

Thanks, Brain. Point. What are you

going to do now that your teleport thingy

is gone?Cry. Cry like a little girl.

And after that, I'll prepare for

tomorrow. What are we going to do

tomorrow, Brain?The same thing. we do

every day, Pinky. Try to take over the

world. There, Pinky, Elmira,

and the brain, brain, brain, brain,brain.