01x02 - Cute Little Alienhead/Better Living... Through Cheese

[bunniefuu]

G Brain, what do you want to do today?The

same thing we do every day, Pinky.

Endure Elmira, then try to take over the

world. The

situation's changed for Pinky and the

Brain. No laboratory

alone in the rain. And someone's

looking round for where they might be

found. It's Pinky for Pinky and the

Brain. Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.

Trapped inside a store. Our girl ran in

the door. She bought a discount turtle

but ended up with more. Now Pinky

and the Brain. Share a new domain. It's

what the network wants. Why bother to

complain?The Earth remains a goal.

Some things they can't control. They're

pinky, Elmira and the brain. Brain.

I deeply resent this.

Bosie's wanted in a transporter room.

It's time to play Scotty Says. This

promise is to be grim. Scardy says,

Beam up. Scardy says,

Beam down.

Scotty says. I'm all done now.

Bye-bye.

He did a toy. This

one.

Thanks, Brain. I thought something was

fishy. Stop it. We

must find something to occupy the oaf.

Holly Wally, want an apple?

Elmira. Elmira, do you see

this?Yes,

brainy big head. This is a

seed. A seed for a Bunny

tree. Plant it in your backyard and it

will sprout branches full of soft, cuddly

bunnies. Bunny tree.

You must dig a very deep hole, then

plant the seed. Large bunnies will

grow like Kansas wheat. Furry

huggy bunny wunnies. Brain,

would you mind if I went outside and

helped Elmira plant the bunny tree?Yes, I

would mind, you dunce. I need your help

to conquer the world.

OK. Is taking over the world starting to

bore you?Oh, I've never seen a bunny

tree. Point. Fuzzy

cube bunnies!

I have examined the Fraunhofer lines of

several stars, plus their speed and

direction of travel. By comparing red and

blue spectrum shifts, I have determined

that these stars are, in fact, alien

spacecraft. The skies above are teeming

with them. Brilliant brain.

Can I go see the Bunny tree?Mention the

Bunny tree one more time and I will hurt

you. With my interstellar transmitter, we

shall contact the aliens. Then we shall

barter with them for advanced scientific

hardware. No more design problems, no

more financing headaches. We'll simply

swap for the technology we need. Taking

over the world will be as simple as

stealing the shell from an adult

gastropod. But brain, how do you know

aliens are smarter than Earthlings?

Call it a hunch. Soon we shall be

conversing with intelligent life. Power

up, Pinky.

Attention. My name is Brain. I

am a carbon-based life form from planet

Earth. I would like to barter. Can anyone

read me?I am Shad Quipo from the Lank

Star System. What do you wish to barter

for?Speak, Earth dummy. I ask you not

to impugn my intelligence. After all, I

built this transmitter from scratch. If

you were smart, you'd have a flying

saucer like me. Instead, you are a

primitive Earth, dummy boy. Now, what do

you wish to trade for?Fire?The wheel?

A sharp stick?I seek advanced

scientific hardware. Do you have an alpha

particle accelerator?No. A thorium

shield?What's that?An

electromagnetic field disruptor?Let me

check. Don't wander off, dummy boy. I

could knock the bug eyes right out of his

head. Pinky, we need something to trade.

Go downstairs and get me some valuables.

Well, like what?Gold, jewels, something

valuable. Right, Albain, I'll be back in

the jiff. Noob. It so happens

that I have an electromagnetic field

disruptor. Splendid. What will you take

in exchange?What do you have, dummy bot?

We have any number of interesting trade

items. My associate should be back

momentarily. We will try to

do one bunny seed. No, you

don't. I'm bartering for a device that'll

knock out all power on Earth, and you

bring me junk. I'll have to brazen my way

through. Yes, the unique Bunny

seed. You plant it and it produces a

tree filled with cute, fuzzy

bunnies. Will it grow in methane?Perhaps.

Skip it. What else do you have?Excuse us

a moment. Step over here, Pinky. Well,

sure, Brain.

Don't bring me any more buttons. Bring me

something rare and precious. Did you ever

think that maybe all the alien wants is

to be told he's loved and valued?I'm very

close to beating you into a mass of

free-floating molecules. Rare and

precious, right, old brain?No. And maybe

aliens are the only ones who need an

uplifting word every now and then. I am

set upon from all sides.

Hello, Elmira. How's the planting?What do

you suppose the bunnies will look like?

Trolls. Silly big-nosed mousey. They'll

be all big and cute and cuddly wuddly.

Say it?No. Say it or there's no

trade. I'm a primitive dummy boy.

I'm a primitive dummy

boy.

Tube socks and a can of deviled ham?

Mm-hmmAren't they wonderful?There is

nothing rarer than a pair of clean tube

socks. Tube! And what could be more

precious than a nice tin of deviled ham?

Do those tube socks have reinforced toe

and heel?Oh, yes, they do indeedy.

Jaws! And the deviled ham, packed in

preservatives?Hundreds of them. Very

well. You dummy boys have a deal. I'm

coming now. I will home in on your

transmitter signal. How

wonderful. We await your enlightened

presence. Oh, that was fun.

There's an old expression. Lady Luck

favors the hopelessly insane. She must

have had you in mind, Pinky.

Goodbye, bunny seed. Grow me a nice

tree, baby. Ooh,

bunny seed needs water.

Soon, Pinky, we shall possess the power

that will deliver Earth into our hands.

Can we still come back here for dress-up

day?No. Look, Brain.

Perfect.

Greetings, Shad Iquipo of the LONX star

system. Greetings, primitive Earth dummy

boys.

I wonder if that hurt.

Ohh

Bunny from the bunny tree!

The oaf is here. We must try and save the

electromagnetic field disruptor. Bunny!

He couldn't get fuzzy bunny, wouldn't it?

Let go! Help!

I sense circumstances have intervened to

wreck my day. Go away! Stop! Ooh,

isn't he a frisky bunny?

Let go, you earth dummy!

Help! Scotty says,

beam down.

Funny bunny wanna cantaloupe?

Shad doesn't look happy, Brain. No, but I

am. Enough of this. We must prepare

for tomorrow. What's we going to do

tomorrow, Brain?The same thing we do

every day, Pinky. Keep a low profile

and try to take over the world. They're

Pinky, Elmira and the Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.

To one lemon and three teaspoons

strontium-90. Great. Where am I going to

get strontium-90 around here?If

strontium-90 is not available, substitute

one egg. Oh, good. Note,

never, ever use powdered eggs. Huh

What do they think I am?An amateur?

Come on, baby. Glow, little light bulb.

Glimmer. Glimmer.

No petri dishes, no beakers, no readily

available radioactive isotopes. I can't

work like this. I need the proper

equipment. I need...

Could you two keep it down?I'm trying to

create cold fusion in a jar over here.

Silly big head scowly mousy. We're

working too. On something more

important than a cheap, renewableall

sorts of energy that will facilitate

global conquest?Yes!

We're building Elmira's project for the

school's science fair. It's a tortilla

chip volcano that spews moldy

cheese. And we're going to do a shiny

junior science kit. Very impressive.

Just try to keep it. Did you say junior

science kit?Yes! It's the Super Deluxe

Bob Crack the Science Hack kit. No! It's

the first prize. Test tubes, Petri

dishes, a plastic submarine that dives

when you put fizzy pellets in it. Why,

this kit contains everything I I

mean, the suburban junior scientists

could possibly need to take over the

world. I want it. Hey, g*ng.

Does that mean you'll help us build the

volcano, Brain?We'll need to do better

than that volcano to win. Let's see.

We could put Elmira in a biosphere for

several years. Sadly, not enough

time. Point. But I like the volcano,

Brain. It's so big and crunchy.

Forget it, Pinky. Look at this amateurish

electrical work. This thing's a mess.

Don't hate the pretty volcano, cranky big

head mousie. Kiss it! Kiss the

volcano! Love the volcano! Kiss it some

more! Okay, I'm done.

Brain, you'll get nacho burned!

Cranky mosey, big head, we went

splat. I am cursed.

Yes, my cold fusion

generator is working. Apparently your

moldy cheese has induced the proper

chemical reaction. Pinky, are you

pondering what I'm pondering?I think so,

Brain. But what if the Teletubbies don't

fight fair?Oh, that would

be bad. No, I mean,

we can use the cold fusion generator to

win the science fair. Why, it's a slam

dunk. Imagine cheese power, a

cheap, efficient fuel source derived from

the synergistic fusion of congealed

bovine discharge. Cranky

big head mousey sandy young stink party

talk. He's going to get his mouth washed

out with soap. Mom,

just sh**t me now.

Ohh All

right, now

don't touch anything. Just step back.

Don't touch him, honey.

Well, it looks like we're just about set.

Any questions?Just one. How come

Elton John gets older and older, but his

hair gets younger and younger?I meant

regarding our science project. Oh, that.

No, no questions at all. Good.

Then be on the lookout for spies. You

mean like that suspicious looking couple

over there?Those people aren't spies.

They're fashion victims. Oh, that's

terrible. I'm talking about

nefarious agents from the big oil

conglomerates. Why, they'd k*ll to get my

mold fusion generator. Well, if your

project is that good, why don't you just

use it to take over the world now?

Actually, I'd thought of that, but I

really want that science kit. Hi, Elmira.

Hi, Rudy, Rudy, big patootie. Is that

your science project?

Yeah, I'm demonstrating gravity.

Your project looks stupid.

Thanks, baby. You're so

sweet. It's a volcano.

It is not. It's mold fusion, a

cheap, efficient fuel source derived from

the synergistic fusion of congealed

bovine discharge.

Naughty, wotty potty mouth. Hey, you're

one of those talking mice. Yes,

I I mean, no, no, actually, we're

Elmira's zany. Personal trainers.

That's right. We're. Personal trainers.

Yes, from Tinyland, where

happy personal trainers sing lovely

rainbow songs all day long.

Tinyland. I guess I've heard

of that. Fortunately for us, Rudy has no

more common sense than you do. You're

welcome. Attention, children. It

is my esteemed pleasure to introduce our

celebrity judge. Give it up for TV's

Bob Quack the Science Hack. Woohoo.

Thank you, Principal Cheevers. Gosh, the

world sure is a magical laboratory, huh

What a quack. Oh, yes, Bob

Quack is an amazing science hack.

One time, he explained all about air

and how it's made of air. Did he explain

why there's so much of it between your

ears?

Children, please don't panic. I'm

sorry. I'm scared. Someone's trying to

k*ll me. It

tickles. I was all

scaredy-fraidy.

Pinky, someone has pilfered our science

project. No!

Some mean, bad, evil, stinky person took

my pretty volcano! It's not a

volcano. We left that in the garbage

where it belongs. They took my mold

fusion generator.

Over there, brain! The fashion victims

are getting away!

Thieves! Somebody stop those old people!

Ask me if I'm in great pain, Pinky. Are

you in great pain, Brain?Yes.

There you are. Spies, hand over my

science project. Did you hear something?

Yeah.

I didn't know seeds were part of your

project, Thingy Brain. They're not.

Someone else must have taken my project.

These folks are just enjoying the balmy

night here, sitting on a park bench and

feeding the pigeons. That was an

excruciating diversion. Oh,

let's do it again sometime, Brain. There

you are, fudgy runaway comeback

mousies. They're about to judgy wedgie

our volcano. I saved it from the

stinky trashy place.

No, not the volcano. We'll never win the

science kit with that. We need my

mold fusion generator.

Don't you dare smash that, you little

thief. Thief. I am not. I found it in the

trash. Well, it's mine. So

hand it over, Chrome Magnum boy.

For a personal trainer, you sure are a

wimp. Train, the judge

is coming.

So what does your project do,

little girl?It's a hungry, lovely

volcano.

Ah, she's a cute one. Actually, she meant

to say her project is a mold fusion

generator. Mold fusion?

What's that?A cheap, efficient fuel

source derived from the synergistic

fusion of congealed bovine discharge.

Naughty, watty potty mouth! I mean,

it makes power from cheese. My friend and

I will demonstrate. Put in the cheese,

Pinky.

More cheese, Pinky.

It'll work, I promise. Okay, then.

Who's next?Something's wrong with the

generator, Pinky. Put in more cheese.

Just keep putting in cheese.

Is that a volcano made of tortilla chips?

I'm gonna smash it. Oh,

don't be so hard on yourself. Let's have

a look-see. What do these

magical wires do?

Amazing. These are the best

nachos I've ever had. Ta-da!

You're the winner! No, wait.

The generator's working. What are you

going to do with your magical new science

kit?This?Ohh You're

my really cutie with the booty.

Yuck! My mold fusion machine is working.

Yes! A cheap, efficient fuel source

derived from... powdered eggs.

Nice work of sabotage on that mold fusion

generator, Edna. You know, Zeke. You

should never, ever use powdered eggs.

Hell, Big Oil can sleep tight tonight.

Let's get funky and celebrate. Yeehaw!

Melba toast's on me.

Get away from me, kook! Come back, Rooty

Wooty. Don't be such a snooty. I'll

give you a wedgie.

It might be a weave. What?Elton

John's hair. I think it might be a weave.

Oh, thanks, Brain. You're welcome.

The Pinky, Elmira and the Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.