06x04 - Bobby's Last Stand

[bunniefuu]

Welcome to "Bobby's World."

I'm Howie Mandel.

-And I'm Debbie.

-No, you're not.

You're Bobby.

-I'm an actor, Howie.

This is a show.

I'm playing a part.

-And the part you're
playing is Debbie?
-Now I'm playing Eric.

-How can you be Debbie and Eric?

-I have great range.

-Uh, just start the show.

[THEME SONG]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hang on, Wonderful Woman.

We're closing in on the
evil Mr. Dehydrator.
[COUGHS]

All this dust will wreck havoc
on my delicate complexion.
[COUGHS]

[COUGHS]

Dehydrator's been
here, all right.
All the moisture's [COUGHS]
been sucked out of the town.
-That's "Mr. Dehydrator" to you!

Uh-oh!

I don't know you had X-15
Super Saturating Soaker Hoses!
All that water will destroy me!

Ahhh!

-There!

Now let's get this
town back to order.
[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Kids, let's give Captain Squash
and Wonderful Woman 30 seconds
to catch their breath while
I tell you some stuff.
-I wish I had an X-15 Super
Saturating Soaker Hose.
-Me, too.

-Don't you wish you had an X-15
Super Saturating Soaker Hose?
-[TOGETHER] Yeah!

-Now you can because the X-15
Super Saturating Soaker Hose
is available in a toy store near
you for a limited time only.
So don't just sit there!

Run, tell your moms!

-[TOGETHER] Mom!

-Mom Dad!

I've got to buy a
Super Saturating Soaker
Hose while supplies last and--

-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Reign it in, there.

Slow down, young man
before you go and work
yourself into a
gee golly frenzy.
-So can I?

Can I?

Can I?

Can I?

Huh?

-Well, I guess if, you know,
if it means that much to you,
why not?

-Yea!

You're the bestest mom and
dad on the whole block.
-Well, aren't you
just too sweet, now.
I could just sweep a
few, don't you know?
-Hurry, mom!

You've got to drive me
to mall because I want
to get there 'afore
they're all solded out!
-Whoa!

Not so fast there, yet, hon.

First you got to
get your wallet.
-Oh, boy!

I'm gonna get an X-15 Super
Saturating Soaker Hose!
Yippee!

Hey, Kelly!

Guess what!

I'm getting an X-15 Super
Saturating Soaker Hose!
-Oh, Bobby!

Like, I am busy
talking to George, OK?
Like, OK, so guess what
I'm wearing, George.
You know that cool sweater
you bought me for my birthday?
-Webby!

Teddy!

Guess what!

I'm gonna buy an
X-15 Super-- uh-oh.
My monies are all gone.

-But what about the
Christmas money Aunt Ruth
gave you, and-- and the
birthday money from Uncle Ted?
-I guess I spent it already.

-Well, on what then, now,
yet, I'd like to know?
-I spent it on 'portant stuff.

-Bobby, remember when
you got that money?
Didn't your mother and I
tell you to spend it wisely?
-Whenever parents start
sentences with "remember when,"
you know you're in trouble.

-You know, hon, if you
want this gee golly toy,
you'll have to earn
the money to buy it.
-By doing chores.

You could start by
taking out the trash.
[FLIES BUZZING]

-Taking out the trash?

-So you want to keep
taking me out or what?
-Ahh!

Oh!

I don't want to
take out the trash.
If you won't buy me an X-15
Super Saturating Soaker Hose,
then I'm going to
my room forever
and ever and never
coming out again!
-Okey dokey, hon.

But if you really want
that gee golly Soaker,
I suggest you find
yourself some chores to do.
-Guess a kid's gotta do
what a kid's gotta do.
-Like, I do not believe it.

It is like totally gone!

-Hi, Kelly.

What are you doing?

-No duh, Bobby.

What does it look
like I'm doing?
-It looks like
maybe you're trying
to find your purple sweater, but
it's not there because I washed
it for you, in hot water so it
would be extra special clean.
-You washed it!

-Yep.

And you only have
to pay me $0.25.
-Ahh!

-OK, then, $0.15.

-Ahhh!

-Boy, is she cheap.

-Uh-oh.

I smell a poopie there.

Bingo!

Oh, another bingo.

Looks like a double header.

I better change your diedies.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Oh, there goes that
gee golly phone again.
Bobby, do your old
mommarooskie a favor
and keep an eye on
the twins a sec, eh?
-Sure, mom.

Hey!

I'll do more than just
watch the twins for mom.
I'll change their diapers.

I bet mom will pay me at
least a quarter for that!
P U!

There, diapers changed.

Go figure.

But a quarter's a quarter.

Derek, hold on!

You ow me a dime!

-No, I don't!

-Yes, you do!

-Get lost, dweeb.

-You owe me 'cause--

-Ahhh!

[CRASH]

-I oiled the wheels on
your skateboard for you.
-Mom!

-Am I in trouble?

-Well!

What in the name of
John Hancock did you
think you were doing
running off quarter
c*ck like that, Mr. Man?

-I was doing that
you and dad said.
I was doing stuff
to earn money, mom,
so I can buy my X-15 Super
Saturating Soaker Hose.
-[BURP]

-Well, now, hon,
you can't earn money
by doing things nobody
asked you to do.
You gotta find something
that needs doing,
something you're good at.

-You mean I could
get paid for doing
stuff I'm already good at?

-Way to go, Bobby!

-All right!

-That's cool!

-Here's $2 kajillion.

That was the best puddle
stomping I have ever seen!
-Well!

You ate every bit of
dessert in that house.
Oh, Bobby, that's
gee golly terrific!
-[BURP]

-You know, when I was your
age, my best friend, Minkie
Floodlow, and I had our very own
lemonade stand, don't you know.
Made a pretty penny, too.

-Hey!

Me and Jackie could build one
and make pretty pennies, too.
That's how I'll get my X-15
Super Saturating Soaker Hose.
I'll build a lemonade
stand! 'Cause if I build it,
they will come.

JACKIE: Lemonade stand?

Do you think it will
really work, Bobby?
-Trust me, Jackie.

If we build it, they will come.

-Hi, everybody!

Here I am!

-See, Jackie?

I told you they would come.

Hey, Uncle Ted!

We're gonna build a
lemonade stand to get money
to buy an X-15 Super
Saturating Soaker Hose!
-Oh, great idea, Bobbo.

You'll probably make enough
money to buy those X-15 Super
Saturating Soaker
Hoses by high noon.
-By high noon--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-The time is high noon.

-It's high noon, Marshal Bobby.

High time for you to get yours.

-Guess again, you
bushwhackin' varmints.
You're all washed up.

-Oh, that's a sting!

-Oh, next time I'm going
to skip the extra mustard.
Maybe I'll get extra mayo.

Hey, this is some lemonade
stand you got going here.
Drive through window,
curb-side seating.
Huh!

Not bad, very nice.

-Uncle Ted!

Uncle Ted!

You want to help us build it?

-Oh, that's a good sub.

Hey, listen, Bobbo.

I can do something
better than that.
I got something here
that'll guarantee
that your lemonade stand
will make you a fortune.
I just came from this great
motivational sales seminar,
Bobbo-- Bony Dobbins Secrets
To Super Salesmanship.
After you finish
watching this, you'll
know everything there is
to know about making money.
Trust me, Bobbo, this guy
taught Donny Trump, Lee Iacocca,
and that Ronko guy everything
they know about business.
-I'm Bony Dobbins,
the master motivator,
and I'm going to show
you how to create
an ultra successful business.

-And how to get an X-15
Super Saturating Soaker Hose!
-10 years ago, I was
living in a cardboard box
and wearing newspaper shoes.

Now I'm so rich that I live
in a million room castle!
And I don't even
have to wear shoes.
I just have people carry
me everywhere I want to go!
[GASPING]

And that's how I did it, and
that's how you can do it.
So what's holding you back?

Get up and get busy!

-[SNORING]

-What's holding us back?

-Let's get up and get busy!

-I feel so-- so-- motivated!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Cups, water, water pitchers.

-Check, check, check.

-Sugar, ice cubes,
pennies to make change.
-Check, check, check.

-Lemons?

-Oops.

-Hey, I have an idea.

-Wow, Jackie, that's the biggest
lemon tree I've ever seen.
But the lemons are
the wrong color.
-No, Bobby.

This is a plum tree,
and it's full of plums.
Come on.

-Can we make
lemonade with plums?
-My mom says when life hands
you lemons, make lemonade.
When it hands you
plums, make plum juice.
Oh, no!

The plums are all
dried up, Bobby.
They've turned into prunes.

-Now what do we make?

-Prune juice.

-Jackie, what if nobody
wants prune juice?
-Then we'll sell them rocks.

-Rocks?

-I don't think we should
sell just one thing.
We should give people a choice.

These are all really
special rocks.
I found them all myself.

-Prune juice and rocks
at a lemonade stand?
Is it me, or is there
something a little weird here?
-It's almost dinner time, Bobby.

-And we haven't had
a single customer.
This bites!

Let's go play.

-What do you want to play?

-I don't know.

What do you want to play?

-I smell prune juice.

-Can-- can we help you, sir?

-Don't call me "sir."

I'm Bernie.

Bernie Huffniggle.

From the Sunny
Sunshine Rest Home.
Gimmie a large prune
juice, hold the pulp.
-And would you like
a rock with that?
-No, thanks.

Just the prune juice.

-Oh.

-One large prune
juice, comin' up!
-One large prune
juice going down.
Ah!

Gotta go!

[DOG BARKING]

-Mr. Huffniggle
left two hours ago.
I wonder if we'll
ever sell anymore.
[CHATTER]

-My husband was
here earlier, and he
said you had the best
prune juice in town.
He was really moved.

-A large one!

[CHATTER]

-We made a lot of money, Bobby,
but I didn't sell one rock.
I bet they'd sell better
near the holidays.
Bobby!

Bobby, we both have
enough money to buy
X-15 Super Saturating
Soaker Hoses.
Boy, we sure make a great team.

Wait, there's an extra nickle.

I should keep it
since I provided
all the prunes to
make the juice.
-No!

I should keep it.

I brought all the cups, and the
ice, and the napkins, and the--
-It's my nickle!

-No fair!

It's my nickle!

-Let go, Bobby!

-My money!

-[TOGETHER] No!

-Ahh!

Now I don't have any money!

Now I can't get my X-15
Super Saturating Soaker Hose!
It's all your fault!

I hate you, Jackie!

I never want to see you again!

I'm really upset.

I hate your rocks and your
[INAUDIBLE] and your other
items, 'cause you
ruined everything--
[YELLING]

And then-- and then she pushed
me and took my-- my nickle
away, and made
all-- and made all
my money go down the gutter.

-Yeah, yeah, I know.

Here.

Here, hon.

You know, I'm sure little
Jackie feels just plain awful
about what happened,
don't you know.
-Mom, I don't ever want to see
that mean old Jackie again,
so can we move to
another street, OK?
-Oh, for the love
of Limburger, Bobby,
we can't up and move
just because you
had a tiff with your
friend, now, there.
But I promise everything
will be OK again
before you even
know it, you know.
-I've had a really bad day.

Why does mom have to make
it worse by spittin' on me?
[SNORING]

[LOUDLY] Are you
guys asleep already?
-Wha-- what?

What?

-What?

-Where are-- where are we?

Am I-- am I late for work?

-Oh!

-Where are my socks?

Oh, Bobby.

Bobby, what are-- what are you
doing out of your bed, huh?
-I had to get out of bed.

I needed to talk to you.

You can't hear me from my room
unless I yell, so I came here.
I don't have anyone to help
me run my lemonade stand,
and now I-- I'm never
gonna be able to buy
an X-15 Super
Saturating Soaker Hose.
And I really, really want one!

[SOBBING]

-Hey, hey, hey, Cheer
up, there, buddy.
How about if your old
man here were to help you
run the lemonade stand, huh?

-You mean grandpa?

But he moves so slow.

-No, I mean me!

Not that I'm old.

It's that that's
just an expression.
-You mean it, dad?

You and me running it together?

-You bet.

That's what dads are for.

-Oh, boy!

Thanks, dad!

This is gonna be great!

-Come on, Bobby!

We don't want to keep the
customers waiting, huh?
The early bird gets the worm.

-Worm?

But I need money!

Eww!

-What in the world?

-Hey!

That's no fair!

-[WHISTLING]

-What-- what's going on here?

-Uh, well, my Jackie said
your Bobby didn't want
to work with her anymore, so
I'm working her stand today.
-I'm the one with the
cups and the water!
All Jackie had was the prunes!

I had two things.

She only had one.

So it's my stand!

-But Bobby, go-- go
back inside, huh?
Let me handle this, OK?

-Wow.

Dad's going to handle it.

Sure is nice having your
dad your battles for you.
[LAUGHS]

[BELL RINGING]

And now for the main event, the
first annual My Dad Can Whip
Your Dad single round
elimination wrestling match!
In this corner, my dad,
the Terminating Guy!
[CHEERING]

-I am the best.

I will terminate Jackie's dad.

-And in this corner,
Jackie's dad.
He thinks he's the King
of Rock and Wrestling!
-[ELVIS VOICE] Huh!

Bobby's dad ain't nothin'
but a hound dog, yeah.
-OK, I want a nice, clean match.

Now go to your corners,
and come out wrestling!
[BELL RINGS]

-I'm all shook up, baby!

-One, two--

-Three, four--

-five, six, seven!

That's it, now I'm really mad!

-I guess Bobby got his bad
temper from you, huh, Howard?
-T-temper?

Temp-- temper?

Why, I outta-- I have--
I have half a mind-- I--
-I wonder if dad is going to use
his words instead of his fists,
like he's always
telling me to do.
-This is my son's stand!

-Prove it.

-You prove it isn't.

-You prove it is.

-You!

-You!

-You!

-You!

-You!

-You!

-You!

-You!

-Enough!

Enough!

Can't we handle
this like adults?
-[SIGHS]

You're right, Howard.

Sure, we can.

-Good.

It's my kid's stand!

-My kid's!

-My kid's!

-I'm never gonna get
my lemonade stand back.
And-- and I'll never get my X-15
Super Saturating Soaker Hose.
-Don't worry, Bobbo.

I'll take care of everything.

[YELLING]

[CHAINSAW ROARING]

-Ah!

-Ah!

-Ahhh!

[CHAINSAW ROARING]

-Hey, I could have
been King Solomon.
-Can I help you?

-What can I get you, sir?

-My usual, a large prune juice.

-Right this way!

-How about a rock
with your prune just?
My daughter found
them all herself.
-No, thanks.

Just the juice.

-Oh, we don't have any cups!

We're plum cupless!

They must be in the
other half of the stand.
HOWARD: Right this way, sir.

We have plenty of cups.

-Hey!

He's our customer!

-Mom, dad, can I do something?

-Not now, Jackie.

Momma and daddy are busy.

Why don't you go play?

-Martha, give this man
a large prune juice.
-Oh, dear me, now.

Now, the prune just is in
the other half of the stand.
All we have would
be cups, then, now.
-Here you go, right
over this way.
-Come on.

-Hey, come back!

Martha!

Martha, did you see that?

How dare they!

-Dad!

We were supposed to run my
lemonade stand together.
Remember?

-We will, Bobby, we will.

But first your
mother and I have go
to reclaim what's
rightfully ours!
-Right on, Howard!

-There you go.

Now that is one
large prune juice!
-With ice, please.

-[TOGETHER] Ice?

-No.

-Martha, give this man some ice.

-Uh, that'll be
$0.05, don't you know.
-It's our nickle!

-Wrong!

It's our nickle!

-It was our juice.

-And our gosh forsaken cup!

[YELLING]

-We're never gonna get our
Super Saturating Soaker Hoses.
-I know.

-It's too loud out here.

Let's go inside.

-Want to play?

-Sure.

What do you want to play?

-Whatever you want to play.

-OK.

[YELLING]

Sometimes parents
can be so immature.
-You know, when I was a boy, I
set up three different stands.
-Did you sell prune juice?

-Actually, I did at one of them.

-Well, what did you
sell at the others?
-I sold lemonade
at the other one.
-But you said you
had three stands.
What did you sell
at the last stand?
-Custard.

[LAUGHS]

-Ba-dum-bum.

[SINGING] If you're happy and
you know it, stomp your feet!
Yeah!

If you're happy and
you know yell hooray!
Hooray!

If you're happy and you
know it, shout hooray!
Hooray!

If you're happy and you know it,
and you really want to show it,
if you're happy and you
know it, shout hooray.
Hooray!