05x11 - Who You Gonna Call...???

[bunniefuu]

-Welcome to "Bobby's World."

I'm Howie, and this is Bobby.

Bobby, where you going?

-To watch the show.

-You can't-- you
can't watch the show.
You're in the show.

-But I want to watch the show.

-But if you watch the show,
you won't be in the show.
-I won't be in the show?

-No.

-Well, I don't want
to watch it then.
-I'm, uh-- I'm a little--
I think I'm in a tizzy.
-Then let's start the show.

[THEME MUSIC]

SPORTS ANNOUNCER
[ON LOUDSPEAKER]:
And the Bobby Socks
fans go wild as Babe
Bobby approaches the plate.

CROWD: Bobby.

Bobby.

Bobby.

Bobby.

-That's my name.

JACKIE: You look cute in your
baseball socks, Babe Bobby.
BOBBY: Yeah, it's
not easy having
a candy bar named after ya.

-If I get you out, I'm going
to kiss you, Babe Bobby.
-Yuck.

No, you're not. 'Cause I'm going
to hit the ball way up there.
-You're out.

Now, get out of my yard.

Stay off of my
lawn, you darn kids.
-It's-- it's-- it's
mean Mr. Jones.
-What do you want to do now?

-I don't know.

What do you want to do?

-I know what we can do.

We can take all my dolls
and play beauty salon.
-Yeah.

Right.

-Come on, Bobby.

It'll be fun.

We'll give them a seaweed wrap.

Remove all their unwanted
hair with hot wax,
and then scrub off all
their old dead skin cells.
BOBBY: Ah!

Uh, uh, that might
scare Roger too much.
I know.

Let's play America's number
one, most favorite home game,
Hide and Seek.

You're it.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

-I got to get away.

NARRATOR: "The Fugitive."

Dr. Bobby Kendoll,
wrongly convicted
of wrapping dolls
in stinky seaweed.
Dr. Bobby is forced to
live life as a hunted man.
-OK.

I want a hard target search of
every old place, nice place,
and hiding place in the area.

Bobby the Fugitive.

-Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

-Ready or not.

Here I come.

[DOGS BARKING]

-Stay off my lawn,
you darn fugitive.
-Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

I'm innocent.

-I don't care.

Come back, Bobby.

You're it.

JACKIE'S MOM: And
you know what else.
It's time for Jackie
to go to the dentist.
Bobby, you're going to
have to go home now, honey.
-Did you ever notice how
parents like to say it's time
to do something boring
just when their kids are
really having fun?

Pull.

Tug.

Grasp.

I guess I better
try the back door.
RING ANNOUNCER: In the grey
corner, wearing very dull grey,
the dreaded Screen Door.

And in the blue corner, wearing
the slippers his Aunt Ruth
gave him and his
sister Kelly's cape,
Bobby Bigfoot the Hard Wonder.

-Take that.

Think anybody will
know it was me?
Hello.

I'm home.

It's me, Bobby.

Help.

I'm outside, and I can't get in.

Mom!

Mom!

Come on, Roger.

We better go over
to Jackie's house.
That's what Mom
said we're supposed
to do if she ever isn't home.

No.

Wait.

I'm locked out.

Wait.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Oh, Roger.

I think we're in trouble.

We've got to find a
way to get in, Roger.
I know.

If I do something bad, Mom
will come out and catch me.
She always does.

I'm picking my nose.

I'm picking my nose with
both hands right now.
I'm playing the
nifty golly flower
bed for playing in the petunias.

It's a big mess out here.

I mean really, really bad.

I guess being really bad
doesn't work unless there's
somebody around to
see you being it.
Nobody's yelling at me.

What do I do now?

Roger, where did everybody go?

Ah!

I don't want to be
home all by myself.
I can't believe they lost me.

OK.

Be calm.

Don't panic.

I need to keep my head.

When all the ones
around me are gone,
I need to-- I wish
I had some cookies.
What should I do?

I need a plan.

I have a plan, the
plan Mom and Dad
made me remember
for when I get lost.
[SINGING] When you come
home and you're all alone,
and there's no one
to take care of you.
If you've already knocked
and the door is locked,
then here's what you should do.

SINGERS: You got to have a plan.

-Think of a place
where you can go.
SINGERS: It's good
to have a plan.
-Maybe a neighbor that you know.

SINGERS: You really need a plan.

-But if you can't
get there on foot.
SINGERS: It's best
to have a plan.
-You better just stay put.

SINGERS: If you're prepared--

-Know your phone
number and address.
SINGERS: You won't be scared.

-Cause if you find
yourself in a mess.
SINGERS: You'll be glad.

-You can bet.

SINGERS: You had--

-You'll never forget.

A plan.

SINGERS: You got have a plan.

Is there a place
where you can go?
It's good to have a plan.

Maybe a neighbor that you know.

You really need a plan.

But if you can't
get there on foot--
It's best to have a plan.

--you better just stay put.

If you're prepared--

BOBBY: Know your phone
number and address.
SINGERS: You won't be scared.

-Cause if you find
yourself in a mess.
You'll be glad-- yes siree--

SINGERS: You had.

-Take it from me.

SINGERS: So glad.

-Take me home.

SINGERS: You had.

-Yeah.

You'll be glad.

You had a plan.

Hey, wait a minute.

I'm already home.

If I could get inside, I
could hide in my closet.
No, no, no.

There's a monster
lives in there.
I could hide under my blankets
until somebody found me.
But how do I get in?

The front door is locked
and the back door.
I need a secret entrance.

Any man would be afraid to
enter the Temple of Gloom,
but I'm not just any man.

I'm California Generic.

Ah!

Hey, look at this.

All my socks that got
lost in the dryer.
Ah!

Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Ah!

Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Left, right.

Almost there.

[BARKING]

I can't wait to be safe
in my own house again,
in my own room, with my bed and
my shelf, and Captain Squash.
If that's my room and Mom and
Dad's room is next to my room,
then that's Mom and Dad's room.

I can see better from up here.

Maybe if I go higher, I can
see if Mom's in her room.
Mom!

I'm up in the tree.

Webbly!

Yo.

Hang on, Webbly.

No problem.

Yo.

Give me your hand.

Give me your hand.

Come on.

You've got eight of them.

Just give me one.

Yo.

Yo!

Webbly!

Mean Mr. Jones is at home.

I forgot.

Mom said if nobody's
home, first I'm
supposed to go to
Jackie's house.
And if nobody's
there, I'm supposed
to go to mean Mr. Jones's house.

But mean Mr. Jones said I'm
supposed to stay off his lawn.
How am I-- how am I
going to get to his house
without getting on his lawn?

That's how I can do it.

A tunnel.

I can dig it.

Mean Mr. Jones marks the spot.

I was wrong.

I can't make it.

So close, but so far away.

Gadzooks.

What am I going to do now?

I know how I can get to
mean Mr. Jones' house.
I'll slide across the
clothesline like a super spy.
-Here's your double raspberry
smoothie just like you asked,
shaken not stirred, Mister-- um.

-Generic.

Bobby Generic.

-You look cute with a
mustache, Mr. Bobby.
-Yuck.

Oldfinger.

You tricked me.

-He made me do it, Bobby.

You know how mean he can be.

Forgive me.

-Sorry.

One kiss per
customer, sweetheart.
This time I've got
you, Oldfinger.
[CARS HONKING]

[DOG BARKING]

-Oh.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa!

[BABBLING]

I think maybe Mr.
Jones's mean old dog
is older than he is mean.

That's the saghetti
that I had for lunch.
And there's some
syrup over here.
Dogs love to lick
little kids because they
always have food on them.

Mean Mr. Jones, it's me, Bobby,
the kid that was on your lawn
today.

Three times.

Well, I guess it was
more like four times.
Mean Mr. Jones, come back.

Mean Mr. Jones was my last hope.

[WHINING]

I remember when
I could just walk
in right through
all these doors.
Now, none of them open.

I did everything Mom and Dad
said I was supposed to do.
I sung the song with my
address and phone number,
and I went to the neighbors'
houses, but they were all gone.
I don't know what to do.

I've never been
this alone before.
You looking at me.

You looking at me.

You must be looking at me,
cause there's nobody else here.
Maybe I'm nuts, and
that's why the squirrels
are looking at me.

From now on, I guess it'll
just be me and the squirrels.
Lord of the Yard,
Squirrel Boy, raised
by a family of
squirrels, he has learned
their ways and the
ways of the wild.
[TARZAN YELL]

He and his faithful pet, Roger,
search the trees for an end
to their loneliness and
find it on the ground below.
Me, Squirrel Boy.

You?

-In pain.

-You rest.

I go scamper through trees
and find food for dinner.
-Dinner with Squirrel Boy.

I'm going to need a new outfit.

It's such a jungle out there.

I hope I can find
something on sale.
-Open door.

It's me, Squirrel Boy.

Ah, ah.

Me locked out.

[CRYING]

MARTHA: Well, for crying
out the back door, what
is all this fuss and
feathers about here now yet?
-Mommy.

You found me.

All the doors were locked,
and I yelled and yelled.
And nobody came.

-Well, Bobby, I had the
gee-golly hair dryer
on super high, and
well, looksy here
the screen door is not locked.

It's just stuck, don't you know.

Well, would you look
at the footprints?
Now, who in the big
wide world could have--
Bobby, Jackie's mom
called me 10 minutes ago
and said she was
sending you home.
Now, I know it's a two-minute
walk from there to here,
so little mister man, where
in the Sam hills of Wisconsin
have you been for the
last eight minutes?
-Shouldn't I be asking
her that question?
-OK now, Bobby.

Let's go over the
new improved plan.
Don't talk to
strangers, of course.
MARTHA: Yeah right.

And if you're lost,
remember the song
with your address and
phone number in it.
HOWARD: OK.

And if you're at
home and locked out,
go to the houses of
neighbors that you know.
And if no one's at
the neighbor's house,
stay right on your own porch
until somebody comes home.
MARTHA: And last but not
least, if you see a policeman,
you should ask him for help.

-Any questions?

-Yes.

Should I go turn
the hose off now?
-Gee willikers.

-Well, the Water
and Power Department
is going to love
our bill this month.
-So Bobby, it must
have been pretty scary
being locked out
of the house, huh?
-Nah.

I just huffed and I puffed
and I blew the house down.
-Bobby, that didn't happen.

That was the big bad wolf.

-Was he locked out
of his house too?
-No.

It wasn't even his house.

-Then what does he have
to do with today's show?
-Uh.

So.

Sometimes, you
confuse me, Bobby.
-I'm a kid. that's my job.

[THEME MUSIC]