04x12 - Bobby's Big Dream

[bunniefuu]

-Oh, uh, welcome to the show.

-Welcome to the show.

-Uh, I just said that.

-What?

-Welcome to the show.

-You just said that.

-What?

-Welcome to the show.

-That's what I said.

-What?

-Welcome to the show!

-Welcome to the show!

-Bobby!

[THEME MUSIC]

-Gadzooks!

Was that-- Roger.

There's something
in our backyard.
Come on.

Let's go see.

Wow.

What is it, Roger?

[SCREAM]

[BELCH]

-Yikes!

It's growing!

Ah!

Stay away!

Don't come any closer!

-Stop him, Squash!

-Trouble with an
alien lifeform, Bobby?
-I think he's after me!

-I suggest speaking to it.

Use your words, Bobby.

-Why have you come?

What do you want?

Uh-- what now, Captain Squash?

-Now I suggest you,
uh, throw stuff at it!
[GRUNTING]

-It's not working.

The stuff is just
sticking to it.
-Bobby?

Well, Bobby, what in the Sam
hills of Wisconsin is that?
-It's a glob of toy dough.

I found it under my bed.

-You're supposed to
be cleaning your room,
not playing, Mr. Mansie.

-I did clean up my room.

-Well, all you did was push
it to one side of the room,
don'tcha know?

You know, it looks like the gee
golly wreck of the Hesperus.
Oh, honest to Pete's sake,
if you spent as much time
cleaning your room as
trying to get out of it,
you'd be done by now.

-It's pretty hard to trick moms
out of cleaning up your room.
Wait!

I got an idea.

Mom, I'm hungry.

-OK.

Come on downstairs for lunch.

Then you march
right back up here
and finish cleaning your room.

-It worked.

-Hey, how are ya?

Oh, am I in time for lunch?

-You can always
count on Uncle Ted.
-Oh, sure, Ted.

Come on in.

-Oh, what you got there, Bobby?

-Peanut butter and jelly.

-Hey, you know what goes
great with a PBJ sandwich?
-Uh-oh.

-Noogies!

-Hey, Uncle Ted, do you
want to take me to the mall?
-Ah, ah, ah, hold your
horses there, mister.
You're not going anywhere until
you finish cleaning your room.
I'm a--

-Bzzt!

Martha to block.

Sorry, Bobbo, guess you
gotta go clean your room.
Besides, today's a bad
day to go to the mall.
It's full of kids auditioing
to be the nacho kid.
-Can I do the audition, Ma?

-Hey, that's a good idea.

They want a kid Bobby's age.

It's a national commercial.

-Absolutely without
exception not.
-Yeah, you're right, Martha.

Bobby would just
be disappointed.
You know, they're looking
for a real cute kid.
-Oh.

I'm probably not cute enough.

-Well-- yes you are, hon!

-Yeah, besides, the kid's got
to have a-- a great imagination.
-I have imagination--
don't I, Mom?
-Yes, you do.

Ted, my Bobby has a
wonderful imagination.
-Oh, yeah, yeah, sure,
sure, sure, sure he does.
No argument there.

But, uh, the nacho kid's
really gotta be-- you know,
really special.

-Huh.

Well, I guess I better
go clean my room.
-No you don't, young man!

Where do they get off telling
us Bobby's not special?
-What, Mother?

You want me to go to the mall?

-Ted, you take Bobby
to that audition
and show those people what
kind of a talented boy I have.
-Yes!

Thanks, Uncle Ted.

-No problem, Bobbo.

You know, I, I was
a kid once, too.
-Yay!

Now I don't have to
clean up my room.
-As soon as you find
your-- your shoes,
we can go to the mall, Bobbo.

-I think I found it, Uncle Ted!

Guess not.

-I got it!

I got it!

I ain't got it.

Hey, Bobbo, what is this?

-That?

That's--

-Oh!

Bobby, what is this?

What is it?

-It's my toy dough, Uncle Ted.

-Oh.

Neat.

-Good boy, Roger.

You found my shoes.

-Great.

Now we can get you to that
audition for the nacho kid.
-OK, why isn't Bobby
cleaning his room?
-Yeah, we had to clean ours.

Is the runt getting
special privileges?
-I don't have to clean my room.

-Why not?

-Cause I'm going to the mall.

-I'm the one who likes malls.

-Kelly, when your little
brother leave this room,
he'll be-- well,
your little brother.
But when he comes back, he's
going to be the nacho kid!
DEREK: What makes
you so special?
-Mom says so.

DEREK AND KELLY: Mom!

-I don't want to
lose my car, Bobbo.
Remember we parked
next to the van.
-Kay.

-Let me give you a little
bit of advice, Bobbo.
When you're auditioning for
the nacho kid, keep thinking,
I'm special.

-Uncle Ted's special.

-Ha, no, not me.

You.

-I'm special.

-You're the best.

-I'm the best!

-You're not like anybody else.

-I'm not like anybody else!

I thought you said I'm
not like anyone else.
-Uh, well-- you're not.

-But if he looks
like me, and-- and he
looks like him, then who am I?

[SINGING] I am me, you are you.

I must be special, cause
you can't be me, too.
-Oh, that's the
beauty of all of us.
-There's only one Bobby.

-And only one Gus.

-He's Gus.

-And they're not
like any one of us.
-If Lu was me,
and I was Lu, we'd
still be sharing our
different points of view.
-Oh, that's the
beauty of all of us.
There's nobody else
quite like you.
-I got my face, and
I got these looks.
Hey, wait a minute,
aren't those my books?
Hey, wait, where am I?

Oh, let me see.

Oh, I remember.

I am me!

-He is him, we are us.

Everybody's different,
and different is a plus!
-That's the beauty of all of us!

There's nobody else quite like--
let me hear it one more time!
-You are you!

[HUMMING]

-We are us!

[HUMMING]

-Everybody's different,
different is a plus.
So don't forget that
it's always true.
There's nobody else--

-There's nobody else.

-Not anyone else!

-Not anyone else!

-There's nobody
else quite like you!
Nobody else is.

WOMAN: Number 86?

That's you, kid.

You're number 86.

-I'm not 86.

I'm special.

-Cute.

You're next.

Not you.

Aw, that's a whiplash.

-Baby, now remember, the
nacho kid has to be charming.
-Bingo.

Kind of like that "Home
Alone" kid, but his parents
are home, huh?

-They are all home cause
they're eating nachos.
-Good.

Like it.

Love it.

So, number 86, why do you
want to be the nacho kid?
-Love our nachos?

-Want to be a TV star?
-Money for college education?
-Hm?

Talk to me, babe.

-I don't want to
clean up my room.
-Mm-hm.

O-R-I-G-I-N-A-L.

-Original in a real sort of way.

Kids like that.

-Hey, hey, hey.

We could sh**t the
commercial in a messy room.
-That's genius.

-No, no.

Mr. Bertolucci,
you are the genius.
I only try, in my modest sort of
way, to model myself after you.
-So, 86, babe, what's your name?

-Bobby.

-He's perfect.

-Bobby's better than Roberto for
the nacho kid, don't you think?
-You are a genius.

-No, no, really.

You are.
-No, you are.
You are.

Group hug.

Come here.

-Hey, Bobbo!

I heard the great news!

-What?

-Well, you got the commercial.

Do you know what that means?

-I don't have to
clean up my room?
-No.

It means you're
going to be on TV.
-Fame.

-Fortune.

-Fan clubs.

-All the nachos you can eat.

-Your own series.

-Can I have your autograph?

-Me, too.

-I think I'm going to like
doing this commercial.
-Can I have your autograph?

-Me, too.

-Smile.

-Oh, my.

This is-- I feel like I've
died and gone to Heaven.
You know, I feel like I'm on
one of those studio tours,
you know?

-Like, Bobby, if you like, make
a lot of money, could you like,
give me some to start my
own line of cosmetics?
-Sure.

-Hey, I got dibs on him first!

-No way!

-Yes way!

-No way!

-Yes way!

-No way!

-Yes way!

-No way!

-Yes way!

-Everybody, settle down!

It's, uh-- it's--
it's Bobby's day.
-Hey, 86.

Come with me.

-Break a leg, Bobbo.

-Oh, for the love-- Ted!

-Ow!

That's showbiz talk, Martha.

That means good luck.

Ow!

You got my floating rib there.

-Well, tie me up and
call me King Kong.
Break both legs, hon!

-Wait here.

The director will be by
to tell you what to do.
-Nachos, Bobby?

-Thanks.

Are you the director?

-No.

I'm Kathy, the hand model.

-Hand model?

-Remember the hands in
the Brand X commercial?
-No.

-Remember the hands
eating an apple
in the dentist commercial?

-No.

-Uh, remember the hands
pointing at the stop
sign in the Safety Council ad?

-No.

-Well, do you know the Captain
Squash Cereal commercial?
-Yeah!

Where Captain Squash battles a
space blob cause-- and then--
and then-- and then people
the people are screaming!
-All right!

Why, you--

BOBBY: And Captain
Squash needs more
energy to fight-- to fight it!

-Oh!

I'll need extra protein and
high fiber to win this battle.
BOBBY: Which one are you, Kathy?

KATHY: Me?

Remember the end?

Those are my hands
pouring the cereal.
BOBBY: Oh.

-I'm just doing this part time.

I really want to be an actress.

-I just want to get out
of cleaning my room.
MAN: Hey, hands!

Get off the set!

The director's coming.

-I'd better go.

Bye, Bobby.

-Bye.

-Hi, Bobby.

I'm John Landis, the director.

I hear you're very, very good.

Now, when the
announcer over there
questions you about
nachos, you answer, OK?
-OK.

-Everyone quiet.

MAN: Quiet on the set!

-Sorry!

Uh, sorry.

That was me.

Sorry.

-Action.

-They're the crunchier
nacho, the munchier nacho,
the heartier nacho,
the partier nacho.
They're macha--

DIRECTOR: Cut!

-They're the crunchier
nacho, the nachio muncher--
-Cut.

-They're the crunchier
nacho, the munchier nacho,
the heartier nacho,
the partier nacho.
They're Macho Nachos.

And if you don't believe
me, a paid announcer,
just ask our own nacho kid.

His name is--

-Bobby.

-Print it.

Bobby, that was perfect.

-Oh, that was great.

That was good
crunchin' and munchin'.
-But this set stinks.

I hate it.

It looks like Home
Beautiful Magazine's
version of a messy room.

It doesn't look real.

I want the wreck
of the Hesperus.
-My mom says my room looks
like the wretch of asparagus.
-This is perfect.

Action.

ANNOUNCER: They're the
crunchier nacho, the--
[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

-Bobby, this is all your fault!

Why didn't you clean your room
when you were supposed to?
-You're in a lot
of trouble, dweeb!
-Kathy, quick!

The nachos!

-Don't you hurt
Bobby, you big blob!
-Keep sh**ting!

I love it!

-She's perfect.

Absolutamente.

Who says the nacho kid
can't be the nacho knockout?
Hm?

-I see a whole new
campaign starring--
um, what's your name, honey?

-I'm Kathy.

And I owe it all to you, Bobby.

Because--[ECHOING]

-You didn't clean
up your room yet?
Why is this room so messy?

You were supposed to clean
it up before you went to bed.
-Well-- I, I guess
I fell asleep.
But I had this neat dream
about cleaning up my room.
-Yeah?

Uh-huh.

-There was a sh**ting star.

And it landed in the yard!

And then a blob came out!

And he was eating the city!

And I got this commercial
because my room was messy.
-Oh.

Oh, oh, for cry-- eye
in the sky, Bobby.
What an imagination.

You know, you'll spend more time
trying to get out of cleaning
your room than it would take
to clean it in the first place.
-That's what you
said in my dream.
-Yeah.

Now, you go to bed, and tomorrow
morning, clean up this room.
And no more excuses.

I mean it.

-Kay.

Here, Roger.

Uh-oh.

I'd better start
cleaning up my room.
-Hey, Bobby, that
was a great job show.
Don't feel bad about not
getting the commercial.
Hey, that's the
business we call show.
Those things happen.

-I don't feel bad.

It was a great dream.

-You know, that model
looked so familiar.
Kathy Ireland.

-Bobby, you are so wonderful.

I just can't thank you enough.

You are responsible
for my whole career.
And Howie.

You are so lucky
even know Bobby.