03x01 - Bobby's Tooth or Dare

[bunniefuu]

-OK, Bobby, the show's
going to start now.
Did you brush your
teeth and your hair?
-Oh, I don't want to get
toothpaste in my hair.
-Bobby, we have a
show to do and it's
important to look your best.

And it's also healthy.

-Howie.

-See, when people see
a nice bright smile--
-Howie.

--it says something
about that person.
-Howie.

-No one will want
to be around you.
-Howie!

-What, Bobby?

-You have floss in your teeth.

[NERVOUS LAUGH]

-Uh, uh-- start the show.

[THEME MUSIC]

MALE [ON TV]: Whenever you laugh
or smile you show your teeth.
Naturally, you want
them to look healthy.
Don't good looking teeth add
a lot to Dorothy's smile?
Doesn't Jerry look
healthy and happy?
Not everyone has
such healthy teeth.
Look at Sam.

Sam has never taken very
good care of his teeth.
Judy's teeth are not
growing in right.
She needs dental assistants too.

-Bobby?

-What?

-Bobby!

-What?

-Bobby?

-That's my name.

[LAUGHING]

-We should be a good
neighbor and sit
back down so others can see.

-Jackie kissed me.

-He's my boyfriend.

-Am not!

-Oh!

[SINGING]Bobby and
Jackie sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes
loves, then comes marriage,
then comes Bobby
with a baby carriage!
[LAUGHING]

-Here, here.

Now-- now, class!

-I really hate Barry Manilow.

Well, he writes the songs.

But I guess learning how to
humiliate and tease others
is an important part of
the educational process.
MALE [ON TV]: You must brush
your teeth every morning
and every night.

And you must brush
them properly.
-Oh!

Good night.

You'd think some of
that lottery money
would go to buy
better equipment.
Will someone get
the lights, please?
-I will!

It's not that I'm a
really good helper,
I just like to get
out of my seat a lot.
-This pamphlet tells about the
importance of regular checkups.
How many of you have been to
the dentist for a checkup?
Uh huh.

How many of you haven't
been to the dentist?
-Feeling pretty small and alone.

Huh, Bobby?

-Bobby, you can put
your hand down now.
-Oh no.

Time for another talking song.

-Oh!

[SINGING] Bobby hasn't
been to the dentist!
Bobby hasn't been
to the dentist!
-See?

-Now, now.

Stop it, class.

No need to be
embarrassed, Bobby.
Here.

-How to stop desperadoes decay.

The name of my
dentist is-- well,
knock me over with a wet noodle!

That's right!

You've never been to
the family dentist.
-Mom, what's the
name of my dentist?
-Doctor Stoop.

C. Elliot Stoop.

-Is dinner ready yet?

-Kelly!

Derek!

I'm going to see Elliot Stoop!

-I'm going to make a note
right now to call Doctor Stoop
first thing in the morning to
make an appointment for Bobby.
-Oh, well, honestly,
Martha-- the reason
I'm staying with you is so you
can rest til the baby comes.
And while I'm at
it, I might as well
make the appointment
for all you kids.
-Thanks, pee brain.

-What do you want
to play after this?
-Uh, how about steal the bacon?

[CHUCKLES]

-Great!

-Bobby!

-What?

-How many times do I have
to tell you, don't play
with your food at
the dinner table?
-Yeah, play with it
outide like Roger.
-Oh, Derek!

-Uh, uh-- Dad, what's it
like going to the dentist?
-Bobby, like relax.

It's no big.

He like cleans your teeth
and like makes them sparkle.
And it's kind of
like a movie star.
It's like you smile
[INAUDIBLE] too cool.
-Is that what it's like, Dad?

-Well, it's-- it's like--

-He makes you open your
mouth up real wide.
And then he gets in
there with a [INAUDIBLE].
Then he picks at your
teeth looking for cavities.
It's the most fun
you'll ever have.
Not!

-Oh, nice job, Derek.

Not!

It's nothing like
that, right Howard?
Come on, Howard.

[MUMBLING]

-Howard.

Howard.

Just don't say the
wrong thing, OK?
You know?

-Well it's-- Bobby, it's
like getting a haircut,
only in your mouth.

-Ew.

I don't even want
to picture that one.
[LAUGHING]

-Nice going, Howard.

He's just gonna
look at your teeth
and make sure they're healthy.

So don't worry.

-I won't.

Worry?

Who's that?

It's Uncle Ted!

-Of course it is,
it's dinnertime.
-Ted?

Do you want some din-din?

-Oh no, I couldn't eat a thing.

Ow, my tooth is k*lling me!

[MOAN]

I think I cracked it eating
some popcorn or something.
Or maybe it was the taco chips.

Oh, my tooth.

Maybe is was a peanut brittle.

I don't know.

-Honestly, Ted.

Well, your diet, ya know.

-Oh don't worry, sis.

I'm going to see the
dentist tomorrow.
Oh, it's going to be horrible.

Old Man Stoop sticking his
hands in my mouth, poking away.
Oh, it's going to hurt.

Running the drill--

[MOCKING DRILL NOISE]

--it's going to k*ll me!

Ow!

What are you poking me for?

-Ted.

-What?

-Bobby's going to the dentist
tomorrow for the first time.
-Oh.

Oh!

Oh wowzers!

Uh oh!

And I said-- oh, the poke
thing, oh, and the drill thing.
Oh no.

Oh, and how Doctor
Stoop's going to hurt.
Oh no!

-Ted!

[NERVOUS LAUGHING]

-Oh gee, Bob-0.

I'm sorry, I was joking around.

Hey, Bob-o, you know
what time it is?
-Time for a noogie.

-Time for noogies!

Hey, Bob-o, I was
kidding, you know?
Hey, tell you what, I'll
got with you to the dentist
tomorrow.

We'll make it some
kind of big adventure.
-[INAUDIBLE]!

I like adventures.

-I'm going to have a way
better checkup than you.
-Yeah, like dream on.

No way.

-Yes way.

-No way.

-Yes way.

The only thing your
teeth are good for
is talking on the phone.

-Like, that doesn't
even make any sense.
You are such a [INAUDIBLE] geek.

-Am not.

-Am to!

-Am not.

-Am to!

-Am not!

-Am to!

-Am no!

-Aw, I think I missed a turn.

-Will you two quiet
down right now?
Uncle Ted and I can't
even hear ourselves think!
Honestly, these kids nowadays.

Huh?

I always wanted to say that.

[CHUCKLES]

-Oh, such a lovely
smile as yours.
How could the dentist improve
on those lovely teeth?
I hope this experience here
will not be an unpleasant one.
-Oh, I won't feel anything.

I'm going to have
lots of novocaine.
-Oh well.

Well personally, the
dentist always gives me gas.
-Oh.

-Uncle Ted, you said
beans always give you gas.
-Well, why don't you
read a magazine, Bob-o.
-God, I nice going, Bobby.

Uncle Ted was trying
to talk to that chick.
-Bobby Generic.

-[INAUDIBLE].

[TEETH CHATTERING]

-Bobby Generic.

-The dentist will see you now.

[TEETH CHATTERING]

-What's generic?

[GROWLING]

[YELLING]

-Kelly?

Derek?

Uncle Ted?

Don't one of you
want to go in first?
-Go on, Bobby.

Unless you're scared.

-I'm going.

I'm going.

-Bobby, the dentist is waiting.

[SNIFFING]

-Ew, it smells in here.

-Well, Bobby, this must by your
first visit to the dentist.
-Maybe.

-Oh well, the doctor
will be here in a moment.
So don't worry about a thing.

-Worry?

Star ship captains never worry.

The final frontier.

These are the [INAUDIBLE] of
the star ship [INAUDIBLE].
Our five year
mission, to go where
no other man has
never gone before.
[INAUDIBLE] man, have you
ever gone here before?
-No, Captain Bobby.

-Good.

Then we'll beam
down to the surface.
Or [INAUDIBLE], as
the dentist say.
-Captain Bobby!

Like, someone is giving
me a lot of static.
-Put it on the view screen.

-I am Zap, leader of
the Static Clingons.
We are beaming
aboard, Captain Bobby.
You are our prisoner.

Escape is impossible.

We have you in our tractor beam.

-He's right, Captain.

We are being held
in a tractor beam.
-On screen.

-I am Zap.

Will you get [INAUDIBLE]?

You forgot the softener.

You will tell me what you
are doing in this sector.
-That's for me to find
out and you to know.
-You will answer my question!

-Ah!

-Now, open your mouth and let
Mr. Brush take a look inside.
-Who are you?

-I'm Doctor C. Elliott Stoop.

But you can call me plaque Man.

Hi, Bobby.

I can see healthy
teeth and gums.
Open wide.

Wider.

Wider.

Wider.

Wider.

-You two sound the same.

-What, Bobby?

-You-- you two sound the same.

-Oh really?

Well, I can assure you, he's
the puppet and I'm the dentist.
That's right.

See that plaque on the wall?

That means I'm a
real dentist, and not
one of those actors on TV.

Now, I'm going to put this
suction hose in your mouth
to suck up your saliva while
I check and clean your teeth.
Hm.

Been taking care of your teeth?

[MUMBLING]

-Uh huh.

But even when Uncle Ted takes
you to the park for ice cream,
you should try to
brush your teeth.
Any questions before I begin?

[MUMBLING]

-Mmhm.

That's a good question.

Now, I don't know why
Jackie kisses you.
Everything looks
pretty good in here.
Now I'm going to scrape a
little plaque off your teeth.
-Huh?

-There, that's got it.

Finished.

Here, rinse your mouth.

[GARGLING]

-Now spit.

[SPIT]

-In the bowl, please.

-Sorry.

-I should have been more
explicit in my instructions.
That's how accidents happen.

-K. Next time be more splicit.

-Well, um, let's see
how everyone did.
Uh, Kelly, you have no cavities.

-Oh!

-Derek, you have
two small cavities.
You'll have to come back.

[LAUGHING]

-Told Yeah I had
a better checkup!
-But Kelly, I'd like
to talk to your parents
about getting your some braces.

-What?

-Ha, ha.

Kelly's gonna have a brace face.

Kelly's gonna have a brace face.

[GROAN]

-I guess no one's safe
from mindless teasing
and humiliation.

-And Uncle Ted, I've
repaired your tooth.
If you have any problems
when the novocaine wears off,
call me.

-Does it hurt, Uncle Ted?

[MUMBLING]

He sounds like the
guy who takes orders
at the Burger Kingdom
drive-through.
What did he say?

-He said--

[MUMBLING]

That's a Dental
Association joke.
Very funny one too.

-I don't get it.

-Right.

-He said, I don't
feel a thing, Bobby.
Now, Bobby, you had
a perfect checkup.
However, it appears you
have a new tooth coming in.
And that means you're going
to lose a tooth very soon.
-I'm going to loose a tooth?

-Bobby!

-What?

-Bobby?

-What?

-Oh Bobby?

-That's my name.

[SPITS]

[LAUGHING]

-Bobby, why are
you brushing now?
-Aunt Ruth, the dentist said
to brush after every meal.
-But you didn't eat.

-Jackie did.

-[LAUGHING]Oh!

Well, the dentist
meant that you should
brush after every meal you eat.

[LAUGHING]

-But how's everyone
going to know when I eat?
I wish Doctor Stoop
would be more splicit.
If you find a tooth in
the sane, it's mine!
The dentist said I was
going to loose one.
-Oh Bobby, you're so precious.

[YELLING]

-Stop that!

[DOG BARKING]

-The dentist meant
one of your baby teeth
was going to fall out.

See?

And look, I got a dollar.

-You lost you tooth
and found a dollar?
-No, I got $1.00
from the tooth fairy.
You put the tooth under your
pillow when you go to sleep.
Then when you're asleep
the tooth fairy comes,
takes the tooth,
leaves a dollar.
-Oh, I get it.

It's like when you take
back the luminum cans.
Boy, they recycle
everything nowadays.
-Well, I don't understand.

They couldn't just
get up and walk away.
-Don't look at me,
I didn't do it.
-Ew, that's gross!

-What's the matter, Ruthie?

Cat got your tongue?

-No, my teeth.

-See Ted, Aunt Ruth took out
her false teeth last night
and now they're missing.

Now you wouldn't happen to
know anything about this,
would you, Bobby?

[GULP]

-Well-- we-- well-- well.

Did it for the money.

[LAUGHING]

-You know, he gets
cuter as he gets older.
-No Bob-o.

It has to be you
tooth under the pillow
if you expect the tooth
fairy to give you money.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

That tooth-- that
tooth is getting
pretty loose there, Bobby.

Want me to try and pop it out?

-No!

Wait!

I know a way.

MALE [ON TV]: Uh
oh, what happened?
His loose tooth-- it came out.

Won't Doctor Brown, the
dentist, be surprised?
-Whatever gave you the
idea to eat an apple?
-Ya see?

And I bet you thought
those movies at school
were just a vacation from
the regular boringness
of school work.

-Well, I don't think the tooth
fairy will miss your tooth.
-And Roger, don't you
bite the tooth fairy.
Never mind.

-Good night, my
little pumpkin head.
[SNORING]

-Are you the tooth fairy?

-No, sorry dude.

Mistakes [INAUDIBLE].

I'm like the sand man.

Hey, isn't this Kelly's room?

She's such a babe.

I got this great dream for her
about some guy named George.
-It's the next room
on the-- on the right!
Yeah, that's it.

That right.

-Thanks, dude.

-I sent him to Derek's room.

[GIGGLING]

-You're lucky I'm
not Santa Clause.
I'd have to put you
on the naughty list.
[CHUCKLES]

-Are you the tooth fairy?

-Yep.

I got a pickup at
the Generic home.
-Generic.

-Ah, whatever.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

-Watch out.

Easy.

-Now, let's see
what we've got here.
Um, hm.

That's an upper-bite cuspid.

Yeah, you've been
brushin regularly.
That's a bonus.

And at today's exchange
rate, here's $1.00.
I'm tellin ya, times are rough.

I'm going broke here.

[BEEPING]

-What's that?

-It's my pager.

Got another job.

I'm a busy fairy, kid.

You're looking at the
employee of the week.
Uh, want to see my plaque?

-Sure.

I know a dentist who can get
rid of the plaque for you.
[LAUGHING]

-No thanks.

I'm pretty proud of it.

-Oh!

Money!

Now all I need is pockets.

Mom!

Dad!

I wasn't dreaming!

Look, the tooth fairy
left me this money!
-Sure, the little dweeb goes
to sleep and gets money.
All I got was a stupid
dream about George.
-Like, no joke!

Like, I had this
really stupid dream
about winning a
skateboarding contest.
[GIGGLING]

MALE [ON TV]: The nurse has come
to talk about dental health.
-Well, that was a great show.

You know why, Bobby?

-Why, Howie?

-Because we did
two things today.
Not only do we teach everybody
about going to the dentist
and taking care of
their teeth, but we
were also entertaining too.

And I always say, if I can
just make one person smile--
MALE [ON TV]: Look at Sam.

Sam has never taken very
good care of his teeth.
-Except him.

-Bye.

-Bye.

[THEME MUSIC]