02x06 - Total Recess

[bunniefuu]

-Oh, Hi.

Welcome to Bobby's World.

I'm Howie.

Bobby you're a big boy now,
why don't you start the show?
-Howie!

I'm not such a big boy.

I was just potty
trained two years ago.
-Oh, yeah.

I'll never forget that.

That was a-- that was a tough
time for you, young man.
Oh.

Oh.

Ah.

Why don't you tell
them about it?
-But that's personal, Howie.

OK.

But you people at home have to
promise not to tell anyone, OK?
So what happened was,
every time my mommy
would put me on the
potty, I would cry.
I would.

Then one day my mommy
asked me, she said, Bobby,
how come every time I put
you on the potty you cry?
And I told my
mommy, it's my potty
and I'll cry if I want
to, cry if I want to.
Hehe.

RADIO: It's 6 am, and welcome
to the dawn edition of wake
up, America.

-Gee, Roger.

We've been awake
ever since Captain
Squash's hands were like this.

I wonder what's taking everybody
else so long to wake up.
Uh oh.

What if they sleep all day?

What if they forget
all about that this
is my first day of school?

What if they forget
and sleep forever,
and I never ever in my whole
life get to go to school?
The first day of school's here,
the first day of school's here!
-Derek, Kelly, you'd better
get a move on if you don't want
to be late for school,
don't you know?
Oh, hi, hon.

-Oh, honey, morning
sickness again?
-Yeah.

Bingo, Howard.

Oh.

Oofta.

This being pregnant?

Oh.

It just doesn't seem right.

-Ah.

You're feeling a
little queasy, huh?
-Oh, yeah.

Everything in my
gee gosh stomach
is sliding around like
tapioca in a hefty bag.
All I want is to sit here
for a minute, you know?
Just nice and quiet.

BOBBY GENERIC: Mommy!

Mommy!

Mommy!

Mommy!

-What, what is it, now?

Oh, Bobby.

-Bobby!

-That's my name.

You know what today is, dad?

-Uh, fa?

-Do you, dad!

Sure.

-It's, uh, it's your
first day of preschool.
Yep.

Going to school.

You know what that
means don't you?
You're on your way to becoming
one of the big kids now, Bobbo.
-Hear that, Wembley?

I'm big now.

-Oh, Bobby, you got to
change that crazy outfit
you've got on there.

I have your school clothes all
laid out for you on your bed.
-I wonder when it
is that boy are
big enough to dress themselves.

MARTHA GENERIC: Oh, and, uh,
Howard, I put a nice shirt
and tie out for you
too, don't you know?
-I guess never.

-Well, for crying in the
mud, what is all that noise?
-It's Captain Squash.

See it says right on the box.

Noisiest cereal on the planet.

-Mom!

There is like no way
that I can eat right now.
OK?

Like, I am too upset.

-Yeah.

For corn sakes, you
are always upset.
KELLY GENERIC: Oh.

Look look look.

Look at this outfit.

What if like, nobody
in the whole school
is like, wearing one like it?

-Can I be a pilot or a guy
who makes puppets talk?
-Oh, no!

What if everybody is wearing
one just want like it?
[SCREAMS] What if
it's just the geeks?!
-Dad, when I grow up
could up could I maybe
be an old Japanese man in big
boots and a red skirt who makes
leaves dance?

-That's it.

Little Furgle's gone
right over the edge.
-Oh, Howard, did you hear that?

Doesn't our Bobby just
have the wildest gee
golly imagination, you tell now?

-Bobby.

Like, you're my
little brother, right?
And like I love you, right?

OK, so like, I'm going to
give it to you straight.
School is like a
total nightmare.
-It is!?

KELLY GENERIC: OK,
start with teachers.
Like Mr. Chalmers,
my old math teacher?
Total loser.

The man had like,
silly putty for brains.
Old lady Goot?

Her breath could stun a mule.

Are you hip?

Oh, yeah, and Kowalski,
our principal?
She is like a total bat
out of you know where.
-No, where?

-Don't worry about it.

It doesn't matter
because school will
be the beginning of the
end for you, scuzlump!
-It will not!

-Oh, yeah?

What if nobody likes you?

What if you don't
have any friends?
What if they treat you
like you're invisible?
-Run, children!

Run for your lives!

It's the invisible student!

-Wait!

Don't go.

I just want to be friends.

The library?

I'll go in there.

Mom says a good book
is like an old friend.
Hi.

Want to be friends?

Guess not.

[UNDERWATER] Help!

Help!

Help!

Somebody help me!

I'm the invisible
student, and I'm drowning!
[SINGING] If they
could see me now.
Help!

-Okay, Bobbo, let's go.

We've got to hit
the road, buddy.
-Uncle Ted!

What are you doing here?

-I'm taking you to school.

-You really think I'm going
to like school, uncle Ted?
-Trust me, Bobbo, it's
going to be great.
-Ah!

Uncle Ted, help!

-[GIGGLING] Hi there!

I'm your preschool teacher, Sun.

Looks who's here, everybody!

It's Bobby!

The only one in the
class who's late!
Oh, Bobby, you're
going to love school!
We're going to have
all kinds of fun!
-We are?

I don't know, uncle Ted.

Does this look like fun to you?

-No.

-Bap bap bap bap.

We have to zip up now, Bobby.

we're going to take roll.

-We?

I must need an education.

I don't understand anything
he's talking about.
Morgan.

-Present.

-Bobby.

-I want a present too!

-Oh, Bobby.

We weren't paying attention.

Let's give it another try.

Bobby.

-What?

-Bobby.

-What?

-Bobby.

-What!

-Are we here?

-I don't know, who's we?

I came here to learn
things, but this we stuff
is really getting confusing.

-Now we're going to play
with the BOOM BOOM boom BOOM.
Big blocks!

Blocks are my favorite!

-Sort of makes you wonder
what kind of person
is attracted to a job
like this, doesn't it?
-See!

Isn't this fun?

Oh.

But be careful now.

OK now, Bobby.

Why don't we play over here.

--[MIMICKING] Why don't
we play over here.
-My little Parker has
lost his stuffed bunny.
I want to know where it's gone.

And I want to know now!

-Hm.

Hm.

Well let's see.

Let's put on our
thinking caps and see
if we can figure
out, hm, where it is.
-Oh!

Wake up and smell the
apple juice, sonny.
Somebody took it!

[HARP]

-Your honor, my
client is innocent.
-Hey, your honor, no fair.

He can't be a lawyer.

He hasn't been to school.

-Au contraire.

We have not only
been to school, we
have been there
for almost an hour.
I think that we stuff will
confuse him. [GIGGLING]
-Ladies and gentlemen, a
disgusting and vicious crime
has been committed here.

An innocent child's stuffed
bunny has been stolen.
And we have heard testimony
that everybody looked all
over the low parts
of the classroom.
Which proves beyond
the shadow of a doubt
that the stolen bunny must
be hidden somewhere up high.
-That, your honor, proves my
client didn't steal the bunny.
To hide something up
high, you have to climb.
Ah, ha!

And the only things to
climb on are the big blocks.
And if you do that
you will fall.
Ah, ha!

I learned that in school.

-Ah, ha!

That proves it.

Your client is guilty.

-It does?

-That bunny was
taken by somebody
who didn't have to
climb, by somebody big.
And that somebody
is Bobby's client!
My client is
innocent, your honor.
Innocent I tell you!

-He's guilty, and
I can prove it!
-Well for corn sakes,
hurry up and do it.
All this gee gosh bickering is
making my blasted head hurt.
-Your honor, I call
for the suspects
to line up according to height.

-You think uncle
Ted's a suspect?
-He was in the room,
and he likes bunnies.
-Not stuffed ones, bonehead!

-Suspect number
three, Bobby's client.
See, he's the biggest!

He took the bunny.

That proves it.

-Does not!

-Does too!

-Does not!

-Does too!

-Does not infinity!

-Bobby, do you know how to
prove beyond a shadow of a doubt
that it does not infinity?

-No.

-Then what you need
is some more school.
-And a little boost.

There you go, Bobbo.

That's all you needed.

-Thanks uncle Ted.

-No problem, buddy.

That's what uncles are for.

Have a great time, Bobbo!

Woohoo, ahem, I don't think
we've had the pleasure.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

-Wait, hey, wait!

Wait, help!

I can't get down!

[INAUDIBLE]

Help, help.

I can't get down.

-Hold on, Bobbo!

I'm coming!

Hockey shockers little buddy.

Sorry to leave you
hanging like that.
-I'm OK, I'm OK.

-I heard the recess
bell, and I just
followed everybody
else into class.
Well, actually, I was
following that very
charming nanny over there.

But before I knew
what hit me, Sunny
had us all finger painting.

-Thanks anyways,
oh, ow, uncle Ted.
-Oh, ah, sorry,
uh, right, uh-- boy
is that finger
painting stuff fun!
-Look at that.

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

-Finger painting time is over.

-Aw, come on.

Five more minutes,
just five more minutes.
-No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Now it's clay time.

Clay, clay, clay!

UNCLE TED: Clay, yay!

-Look what I made!

-Look at this!

-Hey, don't look at mine.

-Boy, you guys are doing great.

Look at all the
neat stuff you made.
-So, Sunny, come on,
what do you think?
Is it art, or is it art?

Hey, nice bunny.

-Bunny!

Did uncle Ted say bunny?

-That's exactly
what he said, and it
proves your client is guilty.

I ask you, ladies
and gentlemen, why
did Bobby's client
make a clay bunny?
-[DROLLY] I don't know.

-It's obvious.

He was thinking about
the bunny he stole.
-Oh.

-There's only one thing to do.

Throw the book at him.

-No, wait!

Before you throw
the books just stop
and take a look at my client.

-I'm a little teapot,
pow, short and stout.
Here is my, wow, handle,
here is my spout,
spout, spout, spout, spout.

Oh, I'm a little spider, inky
dinky spider, itsy, bitsy,
spider climbed up
the water spout!
Down came the rain and washed
that wacky, cuckoo spider out.
Oh, there was a crooked man
who walked a crooked mile,
oh he had a crooked
six pack, six
packs that crazy teapot was!

I'm a little teapot short,
short and stout, wow!
Here is my handle, it's
cool, here is my spout.
Oh, spout, spout, spout,
spout spout spout spout!
Itsy bitsy spider crawled up the
water spout, down came the rain
and washed that
little old spider out!
It washed him right
down to the crooked man.
There was a crooked man
who had a crooked house
who had a crooked six packs.

And had a crooked mouse.

He was a crooked mouth,
he had a crooked mouth,
he's a wacky, crooked man!

[GIGGLING] I just love
to sing, don't you?
-No.

Well, now that you've seen
him, what is your verdict?
-Not guilty.

-By reason of insanity.

--Bye, bye.

Bye, bye.

See you all tomorrow.

Bye, bye.

Bye, bye.

Bye.

Love you, bye.

Love you, bye, bye, bye.

-You know, uncle Ted?

I'm really tired.

-School wear you out, Bobbo?

-Nope.

Sunny did.

-Oh, now, honey, I
want you to tell me
all about your
first day of school.
-Oh, it was wild, sis'.

Mm.

Wait till I show you the
great finger painting I did.
Mmhmm.

-I was talking to Bobby, Ted.

For pity's sake,
stop that out now.
I got to have this
cake ready for the baby
shower I'm going
to this afternoon.
Mrs. Blended, of
the Blended family?
You know, well, she's got
a bun in the oven too.
And I want to make this cake
just real nice and special
for her.

Oh.

Oh, for gosh sakes.

I'm all out of
green food coloring.
How am I going to make the
leaves on the gee gosh flowers?
I've got the blue here,
I've got the purple,
I've got yellow, but no green.

Oh, gosh.

-Mom.

MARTHA GENERIC:
This is awful, huh.
-Mom.

MARTHA GENERIC: Golly, darn,
it's going to ruin everything.
-Mom.

Mom.

-Yeah?

-We know what you can do.

-Oh, honey, I got to have
the cake there in 15 minutes
and there's nothing I can do.

It's--

-Yes there is.

MARTHA GENERIC: What?

-We can take the yellow,
and we can take the blue.
And we will make green!

-Oh, Bobby, for corn's
sakes, you are right.
You're my little chemist
hero, don't you know?
-Isn't education great?

We rest my case.

-Well.

I guess that's the
end of our show,
and I want to try
something different now.
I'm going to try ventriloquism.

Can you say that?

Doesn't matter.

Alright.

This-- this a Ben.

And, okay, that
button moves his eyes.
Hey, what are you looking at?

And this button,
what does this do?
Oh that moves your mouth.

OK.

And what does this button do?

Oh!

Anyways, here's Ben
saying goodbye, everybody.
Bye, bye everybody.

What'd you say?

I said, bye everybody.

Is that good, Bobby?

-I can do it better.

I just happen to have
a puppet with me too.
Can the camera come
in a little closer?
Thank you.

Bye, everyone.

Thanks for watching
Bobby's world.
See that, Howie?

I'm better than you.

I should be a ven-- vendeckus--
vendabish-- ventrilakiss--
vendakiss-- well, you know, a
guy that can make puppets talk.
Goodbye!

I can't move my lips,
they're not moving.
They're just staying still.

I can't-- help me!

Help me, somebody, help me!

-I sent the animator home early.

Ha ha.

Woo, woop!

Goody, goody, goody, goody,
goody, goodbye, everybody.