01x06 - Me and Roger

[bunniefuu]

-Hi!

Welcome to "Bobby's World."

I'm Howie.

Is this going to be
a great show or what?
How would you know?

You haven't seen it yet.

Unless it's a rerun,
then you have seen it.
Then you do know it's
a great show, right?
Because today's
the day that Bobby
gets to take Roger
to the veterinarian.
Right, Bobby?

-Right!

Roger!

Come here, boy!

-Rrowff!

Rrowff!

-Good thing Roger doesn't
know what we're talking about
because if-- if he did,
he'd be out of here
like a bat out of--
oop, a steeple.
Bat out of a steeple.

Because that's where bats hide.

Because, uh, Roger, he's
going to the animal hospital
so much that he'll run and hide
even just seeing his leash.
He'll just take off, and
I'll catch him on his leash.
-Rrowff!

-You mean, woof!

-Hrrrh!

-Oops.

-Gadzooks!

I better change into a cartoon!

Don't try this at home.

I'm a professional.

Martha!

Kelly!

Derek!

You better get down here quick.

Roger's run away!

Bobby showed him the
leash, and he disappeared!
-I made Roger disappear?

That's it?

[THEME MUSIC]

STORK [ON TV]: Tonight on
"Mysterious Disappearances,"
the strange case of the leash
that makes dogs disappear.
Good evening, I'm Robert Stork.

And I'm talking to
the Bobby Generic.
--"Jen-a-rick."

-Yes, a young man who
claims he can make dogs
disappear with a leash.

-That's right, Mr. Stork.

I showed him his leash, and he
disappeared like a bat out of--
-A steeple, I believe you
were going to say, ha-ha.
And now, tell me in your own
words what exactly happened.
-Well, my dad told me not
to show Roger the leash.
I held up the leash, like
this, because-- because we're
taking Roger to the vet.

-The vet!

Yikes!

-I did it again!

This leash is dangerous.

Every time I hold it up,
something disappears.
Oh, no!

This is the worst
day of my life.
This leash is making
things disappear.
There's only one thing to
do in a time like this.
Daddy!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

STORK [ON TV]: We'll be right
back with more of "Mysterious
Disappearances" after this word.

BOBBY: Somebody,
somebody help me!
Help me!

Help me!

-What's the matter?

-What's the fuss?

-Roger is gone!

I made him disappear!

Quick!

Quick!

We got to help!

We got to get help!

I better call 911!

I want to get that!

Hey!

-Don't be a dork, you dork!

You don't call 911 because you
made your stupid dog run away,
you stupid!

-Then I'll call the fire engine!

-That's for cats
stuck in a tree!
-Pbbbpbbt!

-Let it go!

-Ugh!

Get a life, you two!

Bobby, I can't
believe that you were
dumb enough to show
Roger his leash.
-It was an accident!

-Hey!

-It was an accident
like, uh, like that.
-OK, that's it!

-It's Bobby's fault.

-Kelly did it!

-Oh, now, kids, kids.

Here, stop bickering.

What's done is done!

Now, look here.

We're all going to have
to pitch in to find Roger.
-Dads love this
pitching-in thing.
It means they get to make
lists and organize stuff.
-One step ahead of you, dear.

I made a list of
Roger's favorite places.
I'm randomly
assigning each of you
a list of places
to start looking.
-Oh, honey, can't
wait to start looking?
HOWARD: Well, OK.

-Luckily, Moms are
better at finding stuff.
-Well, uh, huh,
well, you want me
to look for Roger
in the basement?
Uh, huh, OK, fine.

But I'll have to change
out of my good clothes.
-Heh, those are good clothes?

-Well, I'm not helping him.

-Now, Roger's the
family dog, Derek.
We're all going to
look, don't 'cha know?
-Bobby lost my baseball
glove and you never found it!
-Oh, now--

BOTH: Derek!

-Oh, gee.

This is the last time!

-It's moments like these that
really bring a family together.
Roger!

Roger!

Roger!

Roger!

Roger!

Roger!

Roger, where are you?

Roger?

Are you in Kelly's room?

KELLY: Ugh.

-I guess not.

-Roger!

[GRUNTS] Roger!

BOBBY: No sign of Roger!

But I did find your
baseball glove.
[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll get it!

Uh!

Maybe it's Roger!

-Ha-ha!

Time for noogies!

No noogies?

Wow.

Something must be wrong, Bobby.

-We can't find Roger.

I made him disappear.

With this.

Oops!

Well, look, Uncle Ted,
you might disappear!
-Ha-ha, I might disappear, huh?

I'd like to use that on
my waistline. [LAUGHS]
Now, Bobby, I'm-- I'm sure
Roger is around here some place.
He's probably hiding
right under your nose.
-Hiding under my nose?

[BARKS]

TED: Well, come on!

Let's start looking!

-OK!

-Hey, I sure
appreciate this, Ted.
I got to get off to work now.

-Hey, what's an uncle for?

I love these kids!

[LAUGHS]

-Uncle Ted?

TED: Yes?

-Do dogs think?

-Think?

Well, I think so.

I mean, well,
yeah, sure they do!
-OK.

Then if I'm Roger, we should
think like Roger, right?
-Ooh!

Ow, right.

-Oh, yeah.

Hi, Helen.

How d'you do?

I was hoping that maybe
you saw Roger in your yard?
[BARKING]

Uh-huh.

Uh, just a second now.

I think I hear him barking.

-[BARKING]

No, I'm wrong, Helen.

It was just Bobby and his uncle
acting like pampered dogs.
What in the Sand Hill--

-[MOANS]

-Hey, Bobby, want
to chase a truck?
Come on!

-Uncle Ted, what if
we never find Roger?
-Roger!

-Here, boy!

-Roger, come here, boy!

-Roger!

-Hey, now, Roger!

-Roger!

-Come here, Roger!

Where are you?

-Roger!

Roger!

-Bobby, I think
we're going to have
to do some old-fashioned
detective work.
-Detective work?

-Yeah, you know, go
house to house and ask
neighbors if they've seen Roger.

-You mean-- [GULP]

Go up to mean, old
Mr. Airity's house?
-Sure, Bobby.

We're detective, aren't we?

Do you think Sherlock
Holmes and Dr.
Watson were afraid
to knock on a door?
-Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson?

Like on TV?

-Yeah, you know, the famous
detective and his assistant.
-Yeah.

[GALLOPING HORSE]

-Well, well, guvnor.

And may I say, it's a
pleasure to hear such
a distinguished detective
as Sherlock Holmes Generic.
-"Jen-a-rick."

-Right.

And Dr. Uncle Ted
Watson riding my cab.
[CREAKING]

TED: [BRITISH ACCENT] Have
you found something, Holmes?
-Uh-oh.

[BRITISH ACCENT] It's worse than
I thought, Uncle Dr. Watson.
TED: [BRITISH ACCENT]
You don't mean--
-[BRITISH ACCENT] Yes!

We've come to the lair of my
archenemy, milord Professor
Maury Airity.

Come, Uncle Dr. Watson.

The chase is on.

[BARKS]

Listen, behind
this door, barking.
It's Roger!

-[BARKS]

I say.

[SNARLS]

-[BRITISH ACCENT]
Let me rephrase that.
It's not Roger.

Shall we run?

[BARKS]

-Yikes!

Oh!

Hurry!

Eeh, aie!

Ow!

[INAUDIBLE]

[BARKS]

-[WEAKLY] Roger.

-[WEAKLY] Roger.

-Oh, Roger, where are you?

Where are you, Roger?

KELLY: Roger.

-Roger.

-Roger.

Uh.

I'm exhausted.

I looked for Roger at Andrea's
house and Tiffany's house
and in George's house, huh.

-Give me a break!

-What?

-You weren't looking for Roger.

You were hanging out
with your dweeb friends.
-Oh, right, right.

Like you had a better idea!

-Hey, I searched the
whole entire park!
-[CHUCKLES] Please, the park?

You were playing baseball.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on, you guys.

Roger's got to be some
place we haven't looked yet.
-Bobby's right.

Let's all put our heads together
and think of the one place
we haven't looked.

TED, KELLY AND DEREK:
[GASP] The dog catcher!
-Not the dog catcher!

Roger!

Roger!

-Ah, is this your dog?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-What did you do?

Eh, show him his leash?

Eh, thought so.

-Bobby.

Oh, wonderful!

You found Roger.

Now, hurry and get
him into the car
because we gotta get to
the vet, don't 'cha know?
Hm, oh, mm, now, my goodness!

Looky over here then, would you?

It shows all the different kinds
of dogs there are in the world,
don't 'cha know?

Now, let's just see if you can
find Roger here on that chart
then.

BOBBY: Hm. "Hunting dogs."

Is Roger a hunting dog?

-[CHUCKLES] Hewwo.

My name is Roger Genewic.

-"Jen-a-rick."

-"Jen-a-wick." [CHUCKLES]
I'm hunting wabbits.
-Uh, what's up, dork?

-I'm hunting wabbits.

Have you seen one?

-Do they look like this?

-Exactly.

-I haven't seen him.

Bye!

-Thank you.

That was, ah, wait a minute.

That was a wabbit.

Come back here, you
wascally waccon!
[HONKING]

Ow, my aching head.

I need a weawwy good doctor.

-Excuse me, uh, time for
the vet to see Roger now.
-Oh, Bobby.

No, let the girl take Roger.

-Wait!

Can I come with him?

-Uh-uh, sorry, Bobby.

-You mean, Roger's going
to go in there alone?
[RATTLING]

-[WHIMPERS]

-Roger has been gone
for a long time.
You said he'd only
be gone for a minute!
Mommy, how long is a minute?

-Well, a minute
is, um, 60 seconds.
-Oh.

Well, how long is a second?

-Um, oh, give it a rest, Bobby.

Roger will be just fine.

-What if Roger needs us?

-Oh, Bobby, I'm
sure Roger will be
happy to know
you're so concerned.
You know, maybe when you grow
up, you'll be a veterinarian.
Here, here's a
magazine about animals.
-Me?

A veterna-- vetera--

-Oh, you're so cute.

It's a "veterinarian," a doctor
who takes care of animals.
A vet.

-Me, a vet?

Just a minute.

-It's Dr. Bobby.

-Let me see this camel.

-There are 1,000 tales in
Dr. Bobby's Animal Hospital.
-"Aminal."

MAN: "Aminal" Hospital.

There are a couple of--

-What's wrong, Mr. Humpy?

-Oh, pooh.

It's my back, Doc.

I think I broke it.

-Aha!

Here is the problem.

Straw!

The straw that broke
the camel's back.
-Oh, that's better.

BOTH: Amazing!

-Aw, uh, thanks for
bothering with me, Dr. Bobby.
Thank you.

How can I repay you?

Can-- can I give you a lift
somewhere or something?
-No, that's OK.

It's all in a day's work at
Dr. Bobby's Aminal Hospital.
-Oh, hi, Doc.

-Hi, Tom.

Hm, you're healing
up pretty fast.
Next time you jump off a fence,
be careful where you land.
You've only got six lives left.

Does it hurt when I do this?

-Yeow!

Yes!

-Then I won't do it anymore.

NURSE: Dr. Bobby!

Dr. Bobby!

-Yes?

-Come quick!

It's an emergency!

-An aminal doctor's
work is never done.
Now, breathe deeply?

-[WHEEZING]

Uh, can you help me, Doc?

I got a big show tonight.

-Hm.

Your trunk is definitely
stuck up with peanuts.
-Peanuts?

-Yeah!

Peanuts the Clown!

-Aw, jeez!

If fat lady's back in
there, I'd be a lot better.
[CHUCKLES]

NARRATOR: These are just
a few of the tails that
wag in Dr. Bobby's
Aminal Hospital.
MARTHA: Bobby!

NARRATOR: Uh, ma'am, I'm
not finished yet, OK.
Tune in next time when we
have Nurse Felicia say--
MARTHA: Bobby!

Bobby!

OK, Bobby, I have to call home
and tell them we'll be late.
I want you to wait
right here, OK?
-OK.

I'll wait.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: But
she didn't say how long!
-Roger?

Sorry, I'm looking
for my dog, Roger.
Is Roger in here?

Sorry.

[SQUAWKING]

[BARKING]

[MEOWS]

[CHITTERING]

[BARKING]

-Bobby!

Bobby!

-Did you say "Bobby"?

-Bobby!

-Wow!

-Wow! [WHISTLES]

-Bobby.

Bobby-- uh, Bobby.

I thought I told you
to wait in your chair.
-I was looking for Roger.

-Well, you've got this place
in an uproar, don't 'cha know?
-Roger!

[BARKS]

I'm Bobby.

Roger's my dog.

-Oh, crimenently!

I hope we're not
being a big bother.
-Oh, no.

In fact, I wish more people
took the time and effort
to bring their pets
in for a checkup.
-Is he OK?

-Ooh, Roger's fine, Bobby.

He just needs his shots.

Do you want to help me?

-Sure.

I run Dr. Bobby's
Aminal Hospital.
-[CHUCKLES] All right.

You get his attention.

I don't want him to see
[WHISPERS] the needle.
-Oh, OK.

Hey, Roger, look at me!

[PANTING]

[YELPS]

[HOWLS]

[BARKS]

VET: There, all done.

I don't know what
you did, Bobby.
But I gave Roger a shot, and
he didn't notice a thing.
-Oh, my Bobby's got a
very good imagination.
-[CHUCKLES]

-Yessiree, Bob-o!

I think you've had
quite a day, huh?
And I bet you feel better
just knowing Roger's healthy.
-I do!

-Hey, you know,
just like Roger, I
got to go the doctor tomorrow
and have my annual checkup
because I haven't had my
annual checked in years.
-You want me to go with you?

You might need a shot?

HOWIE: No, I don't
think so, Bobby.
-OK.

At least, you won't need this.

HOWIE: No!

[BARKING]

-No!

Not the leash!

-Roger!

Howie's gone!

Wow, if Howie's gone,
that means Dad's gone.
And if Dad is gone,
that means maybe
you'll get to stay up late.

Ugh.

NARRATOR: Will Bobby
get to stay up late?
Or will he--

MARTHA: Bobby!

Go to bed!

-[MOANS]

NARRATOR: Aw, sorry, Bobby.

Maybe next time.

So tune in next
time because we're
going to do something
really weird.
-Well, not really weird.

I'm just going to wear
my underpants inside out.
NARRATOR: [SNICKERS]

[GUFFAWS]

[THEME MUSIC]