02x17 - Boo-Dunit

[bunniefuu]

[Ray Parker Jr's "Ghostbusters" playing]

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ If there's something strange ♪

♪ In the neighborhood ♪

[alarm ringing]

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ If there's something weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[all growling]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[thunder rumbling]

[rings doorbell]

Good evening, sir.

The survivors are eagerly awaiting
the reading of the will.

I asked them to. Very good.

Mr. Kingsword?

Yes, Povervoy.

Did Miss Grisley leave me anything?

Not a cent.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

And now, the will.

[gasps]

[all gasp]

[thunder rumbling]

[all exclaim]

[all gobbling]

Yeah!

[gobbling]

Yummy.

[man] [on TV] And the k*ller is...

Larry, the plumber.

[man] [on TV] Larry, the plumber.

Why don't you ever allow us
the thrill of discovery?

Sorry.

I guess I'm just too good
at figuring out mysteries.

Underachieve once in a while, Winston, OK?

Yeah, I'll think about it.

[all groaning]

Pizza!

[alarm ringing]

[tires screeching]

Not even a goodbye.

[music playing over radio] Oh! Yeah.

Let's order from a different pizza place
next time, OK?

Wow!

Hey, you guys,

we're going to the Agatha Grisley mansion!

Winston, we already guessed that one,

it's on the worksheet.

No, no, this lady is the all-time
best mystery writer.

She died a couple weeks ago.

Yeah, how?

Trying to keep you from
guessing her endings

before she got them down on paper?

Are you kidding?

The reason she was the best is because

her stories were
the hardest to figure out.

[screeching]

Ah! [grunts]

Huh. Must've ran out of hangers.

Let me do the honors.

I loved this lady.

[rings doorbell]

Hmm...

Huh?

I guess they have
trouble saying no to salesmen.

[buzzing]

Wow!

Right out of chapter 12
in the m*rder on the Hoboken Express

I'm getting strong readings, Peter.

There's definitely ectoplasmic activity.

Must he do that?

Yes.

[door opens]

Good evening, gentlemen.

Yo, guys.

He's talking to us.

Wow!

It's just like I thought it would be.

What a surprise.

Like kids in a candy store.

May I take your coat, sir?

Well, I don't know.

Hey, what the heck. Here you go, sport.

Ever since I took the will
out of my briefcase,

things have been a little
unusual around here.

You may be right.

[g*nsh*t]

Besides everything you see here,

we've had objects floating in the air.

Smoking g*ns materializing
from out of nowhere.

[gasps]

And bodies appearing and disappearing.

That was just like something out of
an act in the Grisley book.

Uh, don't mind him, sir, he's a fan.

I assure you, we'll get
to the bottom of this...

[screaming]

[all gasp]

I suppose you're all wondering
why I called you here.

It's this bonus room that
really sells this property.

This is where Miss Grisley
wrote all her books!

From the look of this meter,

there's still a lot going on in here.

[Ray] Hey!

Whoa!

This is just like the 1945 Chicago
Slime Creeper Room incident.

[Winston] What the...

Hey, I never wanted to be taller.

I don't even like basketball.

You know, there's a game showing all this.

Nothing terribly exotic in here.

See, neatness doesn't count.

Even novelist eat fresh fruit,

discard the peelings like apes in zoos,

it's part of the creative process.

[all gasp]

[gasps]

[all] A clue!

Raul's revenge.

I've never read this one.

I think that's because
it was never finished,

let alone published.

Hey, guys, don't make a fuss,

I'm OK, really.

Page 321 is as high as the numbers go.

And this one ends in
the middle of a sentence.

[Ray] Possibly the poltergeist activity
stands from Grisley's ghost

not wanting to leave until
her novel is completed.

And the k*ller is named.

[Winston] You might have
that one right, Ray.

These all seem to be
beginnings of the last page.

And each one of them makes
the k*ller a different person.

It's all beginning to make sense.

The manifestations
are probably incidence from her book.

She's prompting us to finish the story,

so that her spirit can rest.

Right, so what we should do then

is get some clues from
the spectral activity

going on throughout the house.

While I read the manuscript

to figure out the ending on my own.

Yeah, once we solve the mystery,

the ghost should be satisfied.

It'll be all over.

The question is, all over for who?

Her or us?

Not us.

Anyway, that's our theory.

You got a ghost who needs an ending
and then she can split.

These are the good kind,

chocolate all the way through.

Thank goodness.

I thought we were doomed
forever to powdered sugar.

Oh, no, I'm a careful shopper.

[Peter] Egon says the PKE readings

are hardest on the second floor.

So, that's where we're gonna
start the search for clues.

To the hunt!

[all] The hunt!

I can tell it's gonna be lots of fun.

[Peter] Looks like this is
gonna take a while,

we better split up.

[both gasp]

Kiss me, you wealthy Jezebel.

But it wouldn't be right, you French cat!

I pledged my troth to another man,

a decent man.

A man with a really great car.

Forget decency, forget motor vehicles!

That's awful dialog.

But it won't,
it's a best-seller, you know.

[yelps]

Cheat on me, will you, Debbie?

I haven't even made
the first payment on that Ferrari.

It's my fiance, I hope he's not mad.

[man] I just got the tape
that can stall this morning.

[growls]

[exclaims] Ow!

[both screaming]

-[thud]
-Huh?

[screaming]

[both grunt]

What rude men!

They didn't even say goodbye.

Read faster.

Hmm.

[buzzing]

[man] It wasn't man enough
to run you over with his car.

He had to poison the milk that you drank.

[buzzing]

There, there.

Where, where?

The cyanide in her milk took her quickly.

[wailing]

It's true, you know,

cyanide is an incredibly
efficient substance.

All this outward grief
has given me terrible indigestion.

A little milk always
does the trick for me.

[doctor] That's poison!

[organ music playing]

Where is that terrible
organ music coming from?

You tried to k*ll me!

Oh, no I didn't, I...

I forgot, I...

[grunts]

Try and forget this!

Soon, you'll be able to use
your little gizmo on yourself, mon ami.

[grunting]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[grunts]

-Hi, Egon.
-Hello, Winston.

Could you read a little faster, please?

Want me to read it out loud to you?

Thank you, that won't be necessary.

Just end the mystery
before the mystery ends us.

Nothing upstairs.

Maybe a ghost in the refrigerator.

Won't be the first time.

[moans]

Well, at least I can rule out
tropical fruit as a m*rder weapon.

Peel and dice those vegetables!

Stew is tonight's entree.

Sorry, but I don't do vegetables.

[grunting]

Yes, a rhubarb,
a little green pepper can make a meal.

[grunting]

Who's coming to dinner?
Everybody in Norway?

Run, lady!

This guy gets nasty
with animal substances that don't move.

[wailing]

Yeah, I know some people hate
the smell of garlic, but me...

-[continues wailing]
-I see you can't have...

[Egon] [panting] Peter!

[both grunt]

You crushed my vegetable, Egon.

I was following you.

[crying]

You poisoned my luscious Debbie.

You couldn't stand the way
she laughed at your ugly car.

[mumbling]

What?

[mumbling]

What?

I said, "Please take
this g*n off my head."

Grisley got paid for writing this?

Nobody said life was fair.

[Ray] Wow!

I bet you could level
the house with that thing.

[chuckles] That Ray, oh, he's kidding
about things like the destructive

fire power of major military weapons.

[groans]

[screams] Ow!

Care for a helpful snack while your read?

Thanks, Pete.

Roquefort blue cheese or low cal Italian?

Roquefort, thanks.

-Good book?
-[chuckles]

Terrific.

I'm almost done
and I think I know who the k*ller was.

[man] I was the only man
who really loved Debbie.

When I cooked dinner,
she ate like a horse.

This was her favorite food.

She can't eat this anymore.

Well, among other things she can't do.

If she can't, nobody should.

[both exclaim]

And nobody should do
anything else anymore either.

[all] Read faster, Winston.

I'm reading, I'm reading.

Where is the "off" switch on this thing?

There might not even be
a real "on" switch.

There's a chance that this is

a spirit manifestation that doesn't work.

But there's a chance that it does.

[Egon] But there's a chance
that it doesn't.

[Ray] But there's a chance that it does!

-[Egon] But there's a--
-Look can we just pretend,

that we're gonna be
obliterated in about 45 seconds, OK?

This isn't very good.

That is Debbie's cake! Not yours,

you jump-suited ninny!

I'm glad you decided
to blow us into another dimension.

Maybe Debbie and I can be together there.

Be sure you take some cab fare,

your car will probably breakdown.

Then at least I won't have to eat
any of your depressing food.

This little cr*cker
spread with the liver of a silly goose

makes you sad?

Yes.

Then weep, you fool.

[groans]

[both groaning]

[all exclaiming]

I think an expl*si*n would go
unnoticed at this point.

I know who did it!

Holy...

Yes, Winston, it's the usual b*mb they put

in these kind of cakes. Now, who did it?

Uh, the doctor.

Debbie ran up a huge build
from all the emergency

caused for severe indigestion

from that bad gourmet food.

[ticking]

She refused to pay his bill

and made fun of his car,

so he gave her poison
in her last medication.

[stops ticking]

I suspected as much.

Ah, well, atleast now we can rest.

Oh, Mr. Zeddmore,

how could I ever thank you all for
finishing my greatest and last mystery.

I say, that's my coat.

You can get rid of the b*mb.

We just can just see it as a table lamp.

[chuckles] It was a little
melodramatic, wasn't it?

My coat disappeared.

It's the last page. And look,

"This story is dedicated
to Winston Zeddmore

and his fellow Ghostbusters."

It's the youngest aunt,
she had the pocket knife.

Yes, but she bought it from
the dwarf at the ball park.

Maybe it was the home-plate umpire.

He was pretty testy
after he got that foul tip in the face.

Yeah, but he was philosophical about it.

So was the dwarf.

We just got the confession.

It was...

[all] The burglar!

The chauffer.

[mumbling]

[indistinct conversations]

[theme music playing]

[screams]